The Ultimate Safe Toy in the Panic Society The 20th Century had a great deal of problems with toys that were just plain DANGEROUS. Much of the problems were the result of parents trying to do the job best left to Your Glorious Leaders. Classic examples were. 1. The Mattel Vacuum Form Machine. This was a machine that allowed the child to vacuum form plastic into a toy shape. However, in order to vacuum form plastic, it has to be heated over a small oven to 300`.An unsupervised kid could still stick its hand into the oven and burn it badly. Your Glorious Leaders got this dangerous toy pulled from the market. 2. The Lawn Dart Game This game played a lot like horseshoes and was designed to be played outdoors. It feature heavy rugged darts designed to handle the abuse of being used outdoors. Unsupervised kids, however, soon found out that they could use the darts in war games and threw them at each other. The Lawn Dart Game was soon forced off the market by Your Glorious Leaders after several children were killed after being hit in the head by the heavy, sharp Lawn Darts. 3. War toys. Your Glorious Leaders continued to insist that war toys foster violent behavior in children. Toy guns also begin to look like the real thing. This gave local law authorities a big headache and led to many accidental shootings. The ultimate panic occurred with the massacre in Stockton, California of school children by a deranged 24 yr old who, as a child, was fascinated with toy soldiers. May, 1991. The U.S Custom service banned the import of toy M-16 rifles because they look so much like the real thing. While never actually invented, a cartoon showed a kid slumped in a corner of the room holding on to his bleeding stomach, while his robot G.I. Joe continues advancing in the room carrying a blood stained bayonet. 1988 resulted in a rash of panic by Your Glorious Leaders over toy safety. A toy fishing rod was pulled from the shelves because the toy was designed to be actually used for fishing. (It had real fish hooks.). A Baby Puffalump toy was found to be dangerous because it was flammable. (Saginaw News C1 December 14, 1988) Kids could be injured by sharp objects from toys. They could swallow and choke on small objects that came off of, or were broken off of toys. They could be struck by heavy toys. One kid jammed a toy in his ear causing serious ear injury. No matter what the toy, a kid could find some way to be injured or killed by it. 4. Playground, Kids were constantly getting killed and injured on playground equipment. Kids fell from monkey bars. Kids got hurt on swings, Kids got hurt on slides, tetter totters, mary go rounds, teeter balls, etc. Your Glorious Leaders made sure that all of those dangerous toys were removed from those playgrounds. Kids stepped on glass, kids got in fights, Kids got kidnapped and molested, Kids were shot at by crazy people, (See Guns). You could be attacked by mountain lions in California parks. (Your Glorious Leaders made sure that Kids were banned from them,) Playgrounds were just plain dangerous places for kids to be in. *Every year, one of four American children sees a doctor because of an injury, many caused while using playground equipment. Fails account for 70 percent of playground equipment injuries. Merry-go-rounds, wildly swinging tires and other equipment can cause dizziness or disorientation which increase the chances of injury. An old favorite, the swing, is the most common culprit in injuries. In addition to falls, a swing with a heavy seat can deliver a dangerous blow to an unsuspecting child. *Saginaw News OCR Scan. 5. Trees, Kids were constantly playing in trees. They loved to climb up them. However, kids were constantly falling out of trees when they either slipped, or the branch broke. There were many crippling injuries and deaths when kids fell from trees. 6. Water' Kids loved to play in water. They were attracted to puddles, ditches, ponds, rivers, pools, etc. However, kids often fell into the water. Many of those kids would drown in those places. One kid was caught in the sewer when she was sucked into a drain after falling into a storm flooded ditch. Kids were even known to drown in buckets of water while the parents were using them. And, of course, kids were always drowning in bathtubs pails and toilets. One kid got up late at night from a camper on the Rifle River to play in the creek. His body was found two miles downstream. Your Glorious Leaders made sure that the father went to prison for child neglect. (True Story.) Ice was an even greater danger. Kids were always playing on thin ice. Naturally, they would fall through the ice. Usually, they got their feet wet. However, many of them drowned or froze to death. And kids love using squirt guns. In 1992, the super soaker was invented and became an instant hit. Until! OCR Scan; Super Soaker Dorothy M. Cole smelled trouble when her 7-year-old son, Ryan, returned from biking Monday through their Saginaw neighborhood. "I smelled the back of his clothes, and I said, 'What happened?'" the 26-year-old mother recalled. He said, "They squirted me, Mom.", Police today planned to interview a l5-year-old Saginaw youth suspected of spraying bleach on the youngster with a Super Soaker squirt gun. Cole said the back of her son's neck was red even after he showered. "I just couldn't believe it," she said. "Bleach in a squirt gun. That's gone too far." The attack, which occurred about 2 p.m. in the 2700 block of Lynnwood, was the most serious of about seven such incidents police have investigated this summer, said Sgt. Larry J. Wagner. "Those numbers are insignificant based on the number of these guns out there, but when you have incidents like this, it worries me a little bit," he said. "Kids are squirting these chemicals at other children, and I don't think they understand the implications of the chemical hitting somebody else's skin. It's considered a - serious assault." The guns are popular because they can store large amounts of liquid and have a long range. "It's pretty serious," Wagner said. "you can think of all kinds of things you can put in that weapon to cause problems." Dorothy Cole said she is grateful the bleach did not hit her son in the eyes. "I thought if they're putting bleach in them now, what next are they going to put in these things?" she said. "I was mad. These are 14- l5year-old boys who should know better."* Note, Nerf has retaliated with their new line of toys called "Water Cannons" 7. Backyards. Backyards were places of horrors and death traps. Kids got into all kinds of danger there. They could get killed or injured by any equipment that was in those back yards. They were even attacked by animals in those back yards. A little girl was trapped for several days in Texas when she fell into a well that was in a back yard. There could be poisonous plants and animals in those yards too. Lymes disease was also present in insects that were in many of the back yards. North Brunswick, New Jersey. April, 93. First grader Kwame Sharif was playing with his twin brother, Kwazi, outside the North Brunswick manor Apartment on Saturday when he was swallowed up by the back yard. It took rescue workers several hours to recover his body which ended up eight feet below the surface. An autopsy showed that he had suffocated withend minutes. Other children in the area are now afraid that they too will also be swallowed up by the backyard. In the summer of 1989, The Hardees corporation launched a promotional toy in coordination with the Ghostbuster II movie. They marketed a highly successful little noisemaker called the "Ghostblaster". This little device made weird sounds when the kid pushed one of several buttons. It was a great sales success. Over 2 million were sold. Until; A few kids (trolls) got tired of playing with the toy and begin to take them apart to see how they worked. They left the pieces laying around. One of the parts was a battery that was the size of a piece of candy. Along comes the younger brother or sister, (The Crumb Snatcher), with one spoiled thought in its mind, CANDY. The battery ends up in the kids mouth. There were 20 such cases of this happening. Your Glorious Leaders screamed loud and long about this "Dangerous Toy". We even went into the restaurants and raised hell about this so called "Dangerous Toy". Finally, on July, 17, 1989, Hardees came to their senses and offer a refund for this dangerous toy. The Christmas season of 1989 continued to be looked upon with horror by Your Glorious Leaders. The Buddy L Soda Delivery Truck came packaged with a stick that was used to hold this truck in the package. An unsupervised Rug Rat took this stick and stuck it in his ear. He ended up with severe ear damage. The Bouncing Babies Cuddly Baby Doll is listed as a horrendously dangerous toy because it has a pacifier that a kid could poke into its eye. The Mc Donalds playland is considered hazardous because, "Kids will try to eat the imitation food" Cap guns are considered dangerous because, "They make loud noises and can cause hearing damage." The Mickey Mouse Pillow Toy was found to be flammable. The Water Balloon Sling Shot toy was found to cause head injury and temporary heart failure when kids shot each other with the sling shot. And numerous other examples including a rash of Fisher Price crib toys that ended up choking the kids to death. A sonic whistle toy was recalled when Your Glorious Leaders determined that the toy, when broken, had small parts that kids could swallow and choke on. There was panic over a toy called "Spy Tech". this toy was developed by Tyco Industries as a line of safe nonviolent toys. However, Your Glorious Leaders argued that the toys "encouraged illegal evesdropping by children". An origination called the United States Consumers Product Safety Commission was formed. Its purpose was to check all products for any possible hazards that they could create. This origination contained people that were very panicky as well as normal rational type people. The Your Glorious Leaders soon gained control. Your Glorious Leaders begin to get products banned or made illegal even if the injuries or deaths were the result of abuse of products as opposed to an actual hazards. Over 325 million products have been banned as of 1992. On December 21, 1989, Your Glorious Leaders panicked over a toy that had been deemed "safe" and had met all toy safety standards. The "Velveteen Rabbit" was considered "dangerous" due to a plastic packing bag that was in use. In 1989 alone, over 148,000 kids were treated at hospitals as a result of toy related injuries. 351,000 were injured by bicycles, 47,000 by skateboards, 21,000 by sleds, and 47,000 on roller skates. The 1990 Christmas season saw its usual panic over toys. Babys First Birthday Balloon, Mickeytown Ice cream Set, Snoopy Plush Toy in Tuxedo, Spring N' Bounce Car, Jeep Jr 4x4, Scoot Along Miss, Wooden cars from france, Nashco train, Airplane and Farm Puzzles, Siamese Stuffed Cat, 4x4 Jeep, Mini Mite Car transport, Toy Cowboy Hat, Friction powered Mini Blender, Little Angel Doll,Twirl'a'Way plane, Baby Exerciser, Sesame Street crib & Play Set Toys with Peek a Boo Mirror, and Baby trainer Crib Gym. "Those toys and many more could pose a choking hazard, or strangle your kid" states the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission. "in most cases, the toys have small detachable parts that the kids could choke on. The Disney's Steve the Tramp doll which is based on the movie Dick Tracy, has been pulled off the market. It wasn't because the toy was found to be unsafe. It was because Your Glorious Leaders complained about the toy character of being a tramp would make kids insensitive to the problem of the homeless person. Therefore, the toy was recalled out of respect to the homeless. "TOYS BLASTED!!!" This was the headlines in the Saginaw News. "Advocates claims bear, Robin Hood hazardous." The top 10 most hazardous toys are, 1. X-Men, The plastic fist with claw could cause face and eye injury 2. Dick Tracy - Breathless Mahony Doll. This toy has been forced off of the market because its removable arms could be a choking hazard. 3. Robotman's Stellar. it uses "Dangerous" batteries. Also forced off of the market. 4. He-Man's electronic Skeletor Skull Staff. Spear like point and heavy skull could cause injury. 5. Robin Hood Prince of thieves Sword and Dagger. isn't this ovious? 6. Rabbit Animal friends Gumball Machine. The kids might choke on the gumballs!!!! 7. GIJoe Arctic Assault Carrier. Caps make noise that might injure the kids hearing, It also shoots projectiles that might hit a kids eyes. 8. Silver Bullet Sling Shot. The kid might shoot stones or marbles with it. 9. Slugger Bear. The kid might choke on the 8" baseball bat. 10. My First Sony Walkman. The kid might play it too loud. The toy companies retaliated. "February, 1992, Kenners announce a new line of toys called "Savage Mondo Blitzers" This line of wheeled toys include such toys as "Butt Kicker, Puke Shooter, Butt kicker, Projectile Vomit, Chuck (turd) blower, Snot Shot, eye pus, and other disgusting names. Your Glorious Leaders went ballistic over the idea of kids playing with such toys. Dangerous toys for 92 OCR Scan BOSTON (AP) The Super Soaker 100 a high-powered water gun, and soft plastic Creative Blocks made a product-liability lawyer's annual list today of the nation's 10 most dangerous toys. The water gun, made by Larami Corp., could cause eye or face injuries, Edward M. Swartz said at a news conference. The guns were in the news earlier this year because some youngsters loaded them with irritating chemicals. Fischer Price Inc. had two products on the list: Creative Blocks and the Puffalump Snuggle Light, a night light for cribs. Swartz said that wooden dowels that come with the blocks are a choking hazard and that the night light can burn an infant if its batteries leak Swartz has released the list for two decades. Also on the list, Moon Shoes, plastic shoes snapped to a child's feet to create a trampoline effect. Marketed by the Nickelodeon TV network, the product could cause head injuries and bone fractures, Schwartz said. The Terminator 2 Power Arm by Kenner. It has a removable left arm that can be replaced by a spike, claw or missile launcher. The Captain Hook Tri-Hook, a hard plastic cuff with a plastic hook, dagger and saw attached. It is made by Mattel. The Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer doll made by Applause Inc. Swartz said a child could choke on a bell tied to the doll's neck. A surfboard-riding troll doll with spiked neon hair. Swartz said the pointy edges could cause puncture wounds and eye injuries. The doll is made by Russ Berrie and Co. The Smart Kids I Can Drive Car, a plastic car for toddlers with a removable steering column Swartz said could cause injury . It's made by DreamWorks Inc. The Busy Boy Tool Chest by Ohio Art. It's a metal tool box with four soft plastic toys and one wood handled saw that Swartz said could cause cuts or bruises. * Note Mattell told a safety group that most any toy could cause injury or death when it gets used improperly. Mattell was told that such toys should be tested and eliminated if improper use could cause injury or death.* WASHINGTON (AP) - As the Christmas season nears, Your Glorious Leaders ask the following questions about any toy." Can the toy be dismantled? Can it be broken into small, sharp pieces? Fit into a child's mouth? Could its parts be used for jabbing? Does it make loud noises that could damage youthful ears? Does it have a long string that could be wrapped around one's neck? Those are among the questions that the private Institute for Injury Reduction says parents should ask before purchasing any toy. The institute points out that despite the industry and government efforts to make toys safer over the years, about 700,000 children were injured by toys from 1986 to 1990. There were an average 25 fatalities annually in that period. In 1991, 31 children died from toy injuries and 163,000 emergency room visits by children were caused by toy accidents. according to figures from the Consumer Product Safety Commission. "You must anticipate that the child will use that toy in the most injurious way possible." said the institute, a non-profit organization founded by trial lawyers to promote product safety. Parents shouldn't trust age labels on toy packages if something in the box could be swalLowed or otherwise misused, it says. And don't buy toys with instructions written in a foreign language. The best choke tester of toys is an empty toilet paper roll, said the institute's Benjamin Kelley_ If the toy fits inside the tube, it's too small for a child that still puts things in his or her mouth. The message is "engage brain before buying," said Rep. Patricia Schroeder, D-Colo., who joined Kelley and others at a news conference Wednesday to warn parents that the vast majority of toys on the market have not been inspected for safety. "We assume if a toy is On the shelf in the United States of America, then it can be presumed safe. That's just not the case." said Schroeder who chairs the House Select Committee on Children, Youth and Families. She also said parents should realize that when a package is labeled for children 3 and over, it's definitely not safe for younger children. Contrary to what many parents may think, the age label doesn't refer to intellectual ability. So don't violate the guidelines just because a youngster is precocious . Elana Berardi of the Bronx, New York, said she wishes she had known better before she bought a toy dart gun for her 3-year- old son, Michael. "I was right there," she said, watching as her son looked into the gun and in an instant a dart came out and hit him in the eye, blinding him. The group also advised parents against baby walkers, those round devices on wheels in which non-walking infants can sit and scoot themselves around. "They give kids too much power and speed before their brains can handle it. It's like giving a 12-year-old the keys to the car," said pediatrician Abe Bergman, head of the prevention and health promotion section of Harborview Injury Prevention Center in Seattle, Wash. He said 29,000 children have been injured in baby walkers. "They have no inherent value." he said. * April, 1993, the following happened. IRVINE, Calif. - Taco Bell Corp. is asking customers to return promotional finger puppets and inflatable balls after receiving reports that some children got their tongues stuck in the puppets and that others became dizzy after trying to blow up the balls. The restaurant chain, a unit of. Pepsico Inc., said Monday it will give a free taco for each toy returned to any of its 3,70O locations. "Taco Bell has elected to voluntarily recall both items from our stores to eliminate any possibility of future customer discomfort and inconvenience," said spokeswoman Janis Smith at the company's Irvine headquarters . From Jan. 25 to March 28, Taco Bell distributed with its Kid's Meals an estimated 500,000 finger puppets depicting Lowly Worm and Huckle Cat from the children's book "The Busy World of Richard Scarry ". Though no serious injuries were reported, Taco Bell received three complaints that children gOt the toys stuck in their mouths when they put their tongues in the finger holes, Two children had to have the toys removed by doctors. Smith said. The chain also gave out 80.0O0 inflatable balls depicting the Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon characters, but the items were so difficult to inflate that several children suffered slight dizziness, Smith said. "No one actually called the corporation and complained, but we got reports from managers that they were just really tough to blow up," Smith said of the balls. "They are supposed to be round, but they aren't." The balls , distributed from March 29 to March 31, were also offered with Kid's Meals as part of a new advertising campaign featuring Rocky and Bullwinkle. Before distribution, both toys passed mandatory testing by the Consumer Product Safety Commission in Washington, a spokesman for the commission said. The puppets were made by Dyna Toys and the balls by Limited Edition Inc. Both companies are in Hong Kong. Taco Bell had to set up a toll-free consumer hot line to handle customers. inquiries . Three years ago, Taco Bell voluntarily recalled 300,000 plastic water bottles being sold as promotional items after receiving reports of three incidents in which children pulled off bottle tops and tried to swallow them, There were no serious injuries, though in one case a parent had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on a child who started to choke on a bottle top.* April 30, 1993. Quaker Oats Co, has been forced to recall eight million boxes of Capitan Crunch, Crunchberries, and Peanut Butter Crunch because of a toy inside that has injured at lease 36 youngster's eyes as a result of the toy's misuse. Quaker said 36 children have suffered brused or bloodshot eyes after pushing the toy onto their faces. On January 1, 1995, a law passed by your Glorious Leaders called the Child Safety protection Act went into effect. Any toy that makes noies, can be broken or fails the toilet paper roll test became illegal. That law effectively eliminate most of the toys available for kids to play with. For your kid's safety and sanity, Your Glorious Leaders have designed the ultimate safe toy. This ultimate safe toy requires that the accident prone kid only has to be in a padded room to watch it. It is the special TV for kids. This special TV will be installed as follows, 1. The parent MUST be present to watch the installation. 2. The parent's lawyer must also be present to watch the installation. 3. An on duty robocop (Police officer of the future) must also be present to monitor the installation. 4. You must have a UL approved grounded electrical outlet at the location 5. You are required to provide a super padded room which contains no windows, hard surfaces or other dangerous objects that your kid might become injured on. This is the room where the Special TV will be installed. Only then, will our special, super safe, bonded crew of 3 proceed to install this set. 6. The installation will be videotaped. (for liability protection purposes). Installation occurs as follows, 1. The special TV set will be firmly anchored to the super safe floor. 2. The special heavy duty specially grounded and shielded power cord will be anchored to the wall socket and covered with a super thick insulating shield. 3. Super heavy duty mounting clamps will be secured with lag bolts into the studs and floor beams of your house. On super safe housing, the mountings are bonded into the super safe, nontoxic, energy adsorbing, spongy safety plastic. 4. Your special TV will be loaded with Politically Correct programs that are suitable for the kids as approved by Liberals. Those programs are totally void of any violence, sex, religion, race, creed, and other subjects that are not fit for viewing by young minds. 5. A special, super soft, clear, non toxic, non flammable, plastic bubble is then electronically locked to the mounting clamps. We keep the electronic key. There is a choice of corner bubble, or wall bubble. 6. As new programming is approved for child viewing, we can change the program cartridges. You will, of course, have to be present, along with the robocop, lawyer and videotaping crew. As installed, it is impossible for the child to injure itself. The super soft special plastic bubble prevents that. The child cannot get dangerously close to the display screen. The child cannot get at the power cord. And, of course, the super soft special plastic bubble prevents the child from damaging the special TV no matter what they try to break it with. The child cannot remove the special plastic bubble without our electronic key. The super safe padded room is too small for the kid to get enough room to move fast enough to cause injury. For really problem kids. We make the super padded suit. The kid cannot injure itself while in one. There is never any danger of a kid poking itself in the eye, ear, or mouth while wearing one. A touch pad built into the special plastic bubble allows you or the child to turn on the set and select the programming. The set automatically turns off at 8:PM (Bedtime). It cannot be turned on again until 8:AM. The Super Safe TV will solve the problem of something to do for your kid and at the same time provide safe, Politically Correct, approved educational entertainment. On the positive side Kids will never get killed or injured while playing with this super safe toy. Why is this happening? Because unsupervised kids continue to be injured by the misuse of toys and lawsuit lawyers jump at the chance to make millions over frivolous lawsuits. As a result, Companies are now running so scared that the slightest hint of a problem and it is instant recall. I guess that means that soon, there will be no more toys available anywhere for use in the U.S. Few, if any, are presently manufactured in the U.S. anymore. Lawsuit lawyers, Liberals and the Consumer Product Safety Commission by the time of the Panic Society may finally force all toys off the market. This is because any toy can be dangerous when not used properly. On the negative side Kids will never be allowed to do anything else for their own safety. Is this all Possible? The programming is out there. Check out "Capitan Planet" and "Widget" for an example of Politically Correct programing. The Child Safety Protection Act does exist.