This is a place for me to make comments about things that happen in the world of computing, or indeed in the real world. Although an archive of old articles will be kept here, ve sure to check back regularly to see what I've got to say.

Well, I've been study my crystal balls, and I tuned into the Oracle, and I now feel confident in making the following predictions about the next year in the gaming world.

1) EA will shortly announce another version of FIFA, this time for the Dreamcast. It will be called FIFA: Completely Different To Anything We've Done Before. Reviewers will point out that it is a basic upgrade of the Playstation game engine with a few new statistics. Gamers will buy it anyway.

2) Eidos will release Tomb Raider: The Ultimate Cash Cow, also for the Dreamcast. Gamers, hypnotised by the rythmic bobbing of Lara Croft's arse will lapse into comas, and be forced to eat mushed up gunk through a tube for the rest of their lives. Despite medical warnings, the game will fly off the shelves.

3) Sony will announce an upgrade to the Emotion Engine, to be titled the Emotion Machine. Rather than simulating emotion on a computer, this will cause the user to actually FEEL emotion. This will be achieved using electrodes which will be attached to the genitals of the user, and will apply twenty-thousands volts whenever the user crashes or dies. Or whenever the console feels like it.

4) Shiguru Miyamoto will announce that he still feels that cartridges are the best format for gaming, and so will create a brand new cartridge format for the Dolphin called the Fish-Cart. This will be able to store up to twice the amount of information storable on a regular cartridge. On the downside, it will cost three tiems as much to produce. Nintendo fans will still flock out and purchase them. This will be unrelated to Miyamoto's purchasing of the lower eastern side of Hong Kong as a luxury lovenest for him and his italian girlfriend.

5) Bill Gates will reveal himself to be the devil. The world will end. Users of Amigas, Macs and OS's like Unix, Linux and QNX will be borne up to Heaven in the Rapture, while Windows users will be cast into hell where they will spend an eternity writhing in agony. Their punishment will be... to keep using Windows.

It's all true, I swear. Would I lie to you...