#Titel Jokes&Stories / TopTen / Academy Awards
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> From New York: Do you like the wallpaper? ... it's THE TOP TEN
  LIST for Monday, April 3, 1995.  And now, a man who puts his
  pants on both legs at once ... David Letterman!

> From the home office in Sioux City, Iowa ...

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   TOP TEN COMPLAINTS ABOUT THIS
       YEAR'S ACADEMY AWARDS
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10. VCR ran out of tape after the first 9 hours

 9. Instead of cutting off Martin Landau, the orchestra
    should have cut off that "Uma, Oprah" stuff

 8. The way the guys from Price Waterhouse reeked of tequila

 7. Backstage, a snarling Roger Ebert kept people away from buffet table
 6. Five words: Letterman is as Letterman does

 5. Several reports that Ernest Borgnine "smelled funny"

 4. Much of the show apparently written by Nell

 3. The Oscars weren't properly grounded

 2. The new "anatomically correct" Oscar

 1. Letterman

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              [Music: "Hooray for Hollywood"]


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Compiled by Sue Trowbridge
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               LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN
               11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT)
               on the CBS Television Network
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             On Tuesday's show, Dave welcomes

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             ...comedian MARTIN LAWRENCE
             ...singer DOLLY PARTON

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Brought to you by Yoyodyne Entertainment where the future begins ...
tomorrow.  Get on the media hype bandwagon and send mail to OJ@sgp.com
to play the infamous O.J. Pool and win cool prizes.

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The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated.
Used with permission.

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