#Titel Jokes & Stories / TopTen / Bad Bank
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> From New York: The soup today is clam chowder ... it's THE TOP TEN
  LIST for Tuesday, March 7, 1995.  And now, your bellboy at the
  Hotel Entertainment ... David Letterman!

> From the home office in Sioux City, Iowa ...

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    TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE DOING
     BUSINESS WITH A BAD BANK
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10. When you make a deposit, tellers high-five each other

 9. After you get a free toaster, bank president shows up
    at your house begging for toast

 8. Your monthly statements are handwritten in crayon

 7. When you want to make a withdrawal, clerks suddenly don't
    speak English

 6. You notice Kato Kaelin sleeping in the vault

 5. Your safety deposit box is a Dunkin' Donuts carton wrapped
    in tinfoil

 4. All cash deposits go directly into teller's pants

 3. Lobby is waist-deep in Mexican pesos

 2. Toll free customer service line is 1-800-GET HOSED

 1. Four words: Bank President Rosa Lopez

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        [Music: "Bad" by Michael Jackson]
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Compiled by Sue Trowbridge

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               LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN
               11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT)
               on the CBS Television Network
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             On Wednesday's show, Dave welcomes

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             ... News anchor TOM BROKAW
             ... Actress KATE CAPSHAW
             ... Comedian DAVE CHAPPELL

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Brought to you by Yoyodyne Entertainment where the future begins ...
tomorrow.  Get on the media hype bandwagon and send mail to OJ@sgp.com
to play the infamous O.J. Pool and win cool prizes.

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