#Titel Jokes & Stories / englisch / Ferengi Rules
#Logo gadget17:PInsel/AG.J&S
#Font Losse 16
#C31
       Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
#Font topaz 8
                         as of DS9 Seasons 1 + 2
#C21


-1: Once you have their money, you never give it back (Nagus)
-2: You can't cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try.
-3: Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to. (The Maquis Pt II)
-4: Sex and profit are the two things that never last long enough.
-5: If you can't break a contract, bend it.
-6: Never let family interfere with profit. (Nagus)
    Never let family stand in the way of opportunity (Nagus)
-7: Always keep your ears open. (In the Hands of the Prophets)
-8: Keep count of your change
-9: Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. (The Storyteller)
         Opportunity + instinct = profit.
         Opportunity plus need equals profit
-10: A dead customer can't buy as much as a live one.
     or Never kill a customer unless the profit you make off his
        death is larger than  the profit you can make off his life.
-11: Do business with a "Small Lobe" and your bound to get a big
     loss.
-12: Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
-13: Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
-14: Anything stolen is pure profit.
-15: Acting stupid is often smart.
-16: A deal is a deal. (Melora)
-17: A bargain usually isn't.
-18: Beware of relatives bearing gifts.
-19: Don't lie too soon after a promotion.
-20: When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat.
-21: Never place friendship above profit. (Rules of Acquisition)
-22: A wise man can hear a profit in the wind. (Rules of Acquisition)
-23: Never take the last coin, but be sure to get all the rest.
-24: Never ask when you can take.
-25: Fear makes a good business partner.
-26: The vast majority of the rich in this galaxy did not inherit
     their wealth; they  stole it.
-27: The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you can do with
     it after you cut  it down.
-28: Morality is always defined by those in power.
-29: When someone says "It's not the money", they're lying!
-30: Talk is cheap; synthehol costs money.
-31: Never insult a Ferengi's mother! (The Siege)
-32: Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer
     expects.
-33: It never hurts to suck up to the boss. (Rules of Acquisition)
-34: Compassion is no substitute for profit.
-35: You could afford your ship without your government; if it
     weren't for your  government.
-36: Too many Ferengi can't laugh at themselves anymore.
-41: Money talks, but having lots of it gets more attention.
-42: Be loyal to your allies occasionally, so they will forgive you when you
     cheat on them.
-43: Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon.
-47: Don't trust anyone wearing a better suit than your own. (Rivals)
-48: The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. (Rules of Acquisition)
-57: Good customers are as rare as latinum--treasure them. (Armageddon Game)
-58: Friendship is seldom cheap.
-59: Free advice is seldom cheap. (Rules of Acquisition)
-60: Never use credit where your words will do.
-61: Never buy what can be stolen.
-62: The riskier the road, the greater the profit. (Rules of Acquisition)
-70: Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting
     the  merchandise.
-76: Every once in a while, declare peace; it confuses the hell out of
     your enemy.   (The Homecoming)
-79: Fighting with Klingons is like gambling with Cardassions; it's
     best to have a  friend with a weapon around when you lose.
-101: Never do something you can make someone do for you.
-102: Nature decays; but Latinum lasts forever. (The Dominion PartI)
-103: Sleep can interfere with ....(opportunity, profit, ?????)
      (Ferengi cut-off in mid- sentence) (Rules of Acquisition)
-109: Dignity and an empty sack are still worth an empty sack.
      (Rivals) or Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack
-111: Never sleep with the boss's wife unless you pay him first.
-112: Never have sex with the boss's sister. (Playing God)
-119: Buy, sell, or get out of the way!
-123: A friend is only a friend until you sell him something; then
      he's a customer.
-139: Wives serve, brothers inherit. (Necessary Evil)
-172: If you can sell it, don't hesitate to steal it.
-194: Always know your customers before they come through your doors.
      (Whispers)
-214: Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach. (The Maquis
      Part I)
-284: Rules are always subject to interpretation.
-285: No good deed ever goes unpunished. (Collaborator)
-???: Never have sex with the boss's daughter. (Playing God)
-???: You can always buy back a lost reputation.
-???: When the Grand Nagus gives you an opportunity, leave town
      until he's  gone!
Rule -??: Possession isn't nine tenths of the law, it IS the law!
 (This is not from ST:DS9 (?), but it has a ring of truth to it!)
 Goes with Rule -32 ??:
 If it works, sell it.
 If it works well, sell it for more.
 If it doesn't work, quadruple the price and sell it as an antique