fpc09                           EUROPEAN SCENISH-CARNEVAL
c10                             by RokDaZone/Artwork


c08This next tale, you about to witness, isn't fiction.  It is a true story, which
I  just  made off and in case you feel bewildered by what you are about to read
be  told:   Real  life is never nice and harmless like a good morningshit.  You
know,  one  of  those  after-party  reliefs  when you get up with that stomache
rumble  and  the  bad taste in your mouth when your voice is still totally gone
with the horses and...


c07RokDaZone (RDZ): f2(* shakes head *)
f4'I  never  should  have  agreed  in  this.   It's  ridiculous!  I see my shares
dropping like a bungeejumper who has forgotten to tie his rope...'

c08f1Voice from the off (VFO): f4'Rok, you are on the show now.'

c07f1RDZ: f2(* with widened grin into the camera *)
f4'Lamies  and  animals!   Be  welcomed  to  yet  another  live  report  from THE
MARVELLOUS(!) LUNATICS BALL-EMBASSY.  We have sent out our reporters to all the
big  events,  which  are parallely held in all more important European nations.
The  information you get live, come directly over satellite to your homes.  Yet
before  I  lose  further  unnecessary  words,  I give over to Shade/Gods in his
hometown of London.  Shade, can you hear me?'

c09f1Shade  (SHD):   f4'Yes  I  can  actually hear you quite well.  It's only that you
sounds as if you have boozed the whole night through.'

c07f1RDZ:   f4'Oh,  well,  yes.  I had a little party here the last night and you know
how these events end...'

c09f1SHD:  f4'Any reasons, any damage?'

c07f1RDZ:   f4'Yepp, it was my birthday party and when it comes to the damage, be told
that one of my guests actually ran through a window, causing a damage of around
DM 2000,-.'

c09f1SHD:  f4'So it was an utter success?'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'Yes, one could say so...'

c08f1VFO:  f4'Guys?'

c09f1SHD:  f4'Any girls present?'

c08f1VFO:  f4'Ehrm, ...  Guys?'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'The usual bitches, you know.'

c08f1VFO:  f4'GUYS!  WHAT ABOUT THE REPORT, HUH?!'

c09f1SHD:  f4'Uh, pardon...  Yes, Rok, I can you hear you pretty well.'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'So where are you at the mo?'

c09f1SHD:  f4'As you already pointed out, I am here in London at the annual Sceningham
Carneval.   In  the background, thousands of Sceners are cheering like nuts and
pretend to have fun.'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'Any known faces?'

c09f1SHD:  f4'Are you stoopid?  Where should I get known Sceners in the UK from, huh?'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'Ehrm...  maybe some people that are not so known?'

c09f1SHD:   f4'Let me see...  Some of the usual wankers are just lying in the gutter -
heavily  pissed  -  and  try to sing the national anthem.  A bit apart from me,
three gravestones are to be seen.' f2(* as the camera gets closer, one is able to
read  the  funeral words on the stones:  'Dan, Spaceman (better known as Nuke),
Kreator and Judge Drokk, died 1992 because of utter boredom.' *)

c07f1RDZ:  f4'Nothing more?'

c09f1SHD:  f4'Nope.'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'Nothing really?'

c09f1SHD:  f4'Nope.'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'So, I'd better switch over to another place?'

c09f1SHD:  f4'Yep.'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'Thank you, Shade of Gods.'

c09f1SHD:  f4'Oh, well.  That's ok.'

c08f2(* the camera focuses on RDZ again *)



c07f1RDZ:  f4'Well, then I'd like to call Pearl in Denmark.  Pearl can you hear me?'

c09f1Pearl  (PRL):   f4'Oh, yes, I can.  It actually is a pretty good mood here in the
Tivoli,  where the SceneRoek - the Danish form of carneval takes place.  Just a
moment,  I  try  to  cut  a  field  of  view  in the smoke...' (* starts making
uncontrolled movements with the full body like a BSE-cow in the final state *)

f1PRL:  f4'Oh, there is Wolfman lying on the floor with a FAT grin and...  There we
have  the  Polka  Bros.,  dancing Tango for not further mentioned reasons.  The
Melon  crew is flying through the room.  Mushrooms are growing on the walls and
the bunch of running steaks from the last Giant Few Convention also looks quite
stoned...'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'Pearl?'

c09f1PRL:  f4'Yes, love?'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'Have you consumed any drugs?'

c09f1PRL:  f4'I am danish why do you ask?'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'So, you have tried some?'

c09f1PRL:  f4'ALL!'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'Thank you, Pearl and goodbye to Denmark.  Who do we have next?  Ah, yes!
It's Fishwave reporting directly from Koelle in Germany.  Fishwave can you hear
me?'

c09f1Fishwave   (FSW):   f2(*  'sings'  *)  f4'This  is  carneval  from  Knierditz upon
Knatter...'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'Are you pissed?'

c09f1FSW:   f4'Yes,  I  am.   I am pretty pissed off by this job.  I can tell you I'll
never  work  for your Bloody(!) Lunatics Testicles again.  I quit now.  This is
garbage...'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'Wha...  What has happened, mate?'

c09f1FSW:   f4'Oh,  it  turned  out  to be pretty nice.  Ghandy and I have probed in a
quite  nice polonaise for two to entertain you, when the guys from Haujobb took
Crash  and  dropped him into the trashcan.  The Loop was quite angry about that
as  he wanted to sleep in there so he kicked the can and it roll away to get me
from  my feet.  Immediately, I wrote an article saying 'The Loop is an ashole',
which  the GFX-Twins totally misunderstood and announced Artwork to be the most
arrogant  group  in  the known Scene.  Damion was so upset that he had to knock
someone  and  decided  that Gangsta would be his victim.  As he wasn't entirely
sober,  he  missed  and instead hit Exciter who didn't care at all.  Peachy was
just  reading  another  article  from  you,  RokDaZone, and got headaches so he
decided  to  smoke  some  of Eagle's pot against it.  Poor Eagle now found that
Peachy  didn't  leave  any  to  him  so  he  asked  SMT  about some, who was so
dignitated by this request that he stumbled and broke yet another foot, causing
Chaos  a big laughattack, which Touchstone totally mistook and started to throw
potatoesalad against him and...'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'Let me guess:  No polonaise today?'

c09f1FSW:  f4'You bloody...' f2(* Knocks down the cameraman; The screen turns black *)

c07f1RDZ:   f4'Uh,  yes.   Let me see what is next...  No report from Holland as noone
reached  the partyplace for being stoned.  No reports from France and Poland as
no one can understand their accent.  No reports from Sweden and Norway as there
are  no  Sceners  left except for a few who didn't realise that there something
was  going  on  or joined FunCom.  No report from Finland as they all joined in
the  PC-Scene  when  somebody  said the bassist of the Leningrad Cowboys owns a
386.  No report from Malta as reports from parties with only one person present
are dull.  Leaves Italy...  The Ripper, can you hear me?'

c09f1The Ripper (TRP):  f4'Even if you wouldn't shout, fool!'

c07f1RDZ:   f4'...   Yes.   So  what actually is happening there on the Petersplace in
Rome?'

c09f1TRP:  f4'Not much actually.  I can also see Parsec blowing lampions in the air by
using cut-down selfmade explosives.'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'And else?  Nothing spectacular?'

c09f1TRP:   f4'Oh,  there  is  Macno  in womens clothing fooling around with a unknown
guy.'

c07f1RDZ:   f4'You  f2(*  laughter  *)  f4mean,  he  tries  to get a man to...  f2(* roaring
laughter *) f4to...  to have something nasty with him?!'

c09f1TRP:  f4'What means tries?  He seemingly has a lot of success!  Actually they are
spilling  champagne  on  eachothers and feed themselves with cherries,  placed on
several bodyspots.'

c07f1RDZ: f4'Rahahahahaha!!!'

c09f1TRP:   f4'Uh-oh.   At  the  moment they are trying spome French kissing...  and..
Oh.'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'Oh?  Why 'Oh'?'

c09f1TRP:  f4'Ehrm, the guy isn't a GUY but a GIRL.'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'I thought you said man?'

c09f1TRP:  f4'Close.  It's a woman in mens clothing...  a red haired little girl.'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'Too bad, this destroys a nice laughter...  And more?'

c09f1TRP:   f4'Well,  didn't  you  tell  that Tasslehoff Burrfoot is on vacation right
now?'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'My girlfriend?  Yes, why?'

c09f1TRP:  f4'Abroad?'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'Yepp, why do you ask?'

c09f1TRP:  f4'Where exactly?'

c07f1RDZ:   f4'In  Italy.   Rome to say more.  She said that she wanted to meet an old
friend there to celebrate carneval, why?'

c09f1TRP:   f4'Wasn't  she the girl who wears all the mens clothing in the 'Men in the
Scene' article-series?'

c07f1RDZ:  f4'Yes.  Why?'

c09f1TRP:   f4'Oh!'  f2(*  Suddenly  he  waves  his camerman for a sudden cut.  Then the
screen gets black and a buzzing noice is all that is left from The Ripper *)

c07f1RDZ:   f4'Too  bad.   Ladies  and  Gentlemen,  I fear the connection suffers some
indifferences.   So, I guess we will never find out who this mysterious lady in
womens clothing might habe been...'


c08f1This  very  moment, a fire breaks out, causing the moderator to run away.  With
him  the  cameraman,  the  best  boy,  the assistance and several other unknown
individuals.  Peachy, who lateron got convicted for being the incendiary stated
in  his  questioning  that  he  wasn't  able  to  stand just one more line from
RokDaZone.