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                 1 0 0   W A Y S   T O   A V O I D   D Y I N G

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                                By Peter Schwab

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Doctors   and  scientists  are  always
telling   us   ways  to  live  longer.
Usually  they involve a healthier diet
or  lifestyle:   that  is, eating less
fat  and  more  vegetables and fruits,
getting  more  exercise,  or giving up
smoking.

I    wholeheartedly    endorse   these
rigorous  and  unpleasant  methods  of
extending  life, but our research into
centuries  of American folk wisdom has
turned  up  100  easy ways of avoiding
death  by observing a few simple rules
in everyday situations.  These beliefs
come  from  all  over this country and
were actually collected by students of


folklore  and  anthropology.   None of
them were made up.  Just remember:  if
you  fail  to  observe these rules, we
won't    be    responsible   for   the
consequences!

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 H O U S E K E E P I N G   H I N T S
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01.@5 Don't take ashes out of the
    fireplace or wood stove between
    Christmas and New Year's Day.
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02.@5 Never place a broom on a bed.
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03.@5 Close umbrellas before bringing
    them into a house.
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04.@5 Avoid sweeping after sundown.
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05.@5 You must not wash clothes on New
    Year Day.
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06.@5 Don't shake out a tablecloth after
    dark.
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07.@5 Never wash a flag.
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08.@5 Don't turn a chair on one leg.
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09.@5 Keep cats off piano keys.
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10.@5 Don't hang a dishcloth on a
    doorknob.
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11.@5 Sweeping under a sick person's bed
    will kill him or her.
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12.@5 Don't ever, ever rock an empty
    rocking chair.

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     R E N O V A T I O N   A N D
         D E C O R A T I N G
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13.@5 Never add-on to the back of your
    house.
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14.@5 You must not cut a new window in an
    old house; the only way to avoid
    fatal consequences is to toss your
    apron through the new window and
    then jump through it yourself.
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15.@5 Never drive a nail after sunset.
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16.@5 Don't move into an unfinished
    house.
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17.@5 Avoid carrying axes, shovels and
    other sharp-edged tools through a
    house; if you must take one
    inside, always take it out by the
    same door.

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18.@5 If you move out of a house, don't
    move back into it for a year.
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19.@5 Don't hang your sweetheart's
    picture upside-down.
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20.@5 If a picture falls from the wall,
    don't pick it up.
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21.@5 Never carry a peacock's feather
    into a house.
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22.@5 Keep cut flowers out of bedrooms
    overnight.
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23.@5 Don't ever carry a bouquet of
    wildflowers indoors before May 1.
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 S E W I N G   A N D   F A S H I O N
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24.@5 If you cut out a new dress on
    Friday, you must finish it that
    same day.
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25.@5 Don't make new clothes between
    Christmas and New Year's Day.
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26.@5 Never hold a stick in your mouth
    while sewing.
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27.@5 Always sew cross-stitch on your
    underwear.
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28.@5 Don't walk around in one shoe.
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29.@5 If you see a will-o'-wisp while
    out walking at night, turn your
    coat inside-out.
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30.@5 Never wear another's new clothes
    before they have worn them.
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31.@5 A woman who makes her own wedding
    dress will not live to wear it.


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        C O O K I N G   A N D
      T A B L E   M A N N E R S
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32.@5 Never set three lamps on a table
    at the same time.
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33.@5 Don't set the table backwards.
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34.@5 Never serve 13 at a table.
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35.@5 Avoid drinking coffee at 5o'clock.
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36.@5 You must not write on the back of a
    dish.
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37.@5 Never return borrowed salt.
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38.@5 Don't ever cross knives while
    setting the table.
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39.@5 Be sure that someone else cooks
    your birthday dinner.
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40.@5 Don't put two forks at one place
    setting.
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41.@5 Never, never turn a loaf of bread
    upside down.

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           S L E E P I N G
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42.@5 Sleeping with your head at the
    foot of the bed is surely fatal.
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43.@5 Don't sing in bed.
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44.@5 If you hear a dog howl at night,
    reach under the bed and turn over
    a shoe.
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45.@5 Don't count stars.
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46.@5 A man should never dream of a
    naked woman; a woman should never
    dream of a naked man.
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   P E R S O N A L   H Y G I E N E
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47.@5 Never rub soap on your skin on a
    Friday.
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48.@5 Don't look into a mirror over
    another's shoulder.
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49.@5 Avoid combing your hair after
    dark.
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50.@5 Absolutely no haircuts in March.
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51.@5 Let a baby's hair and fingernails
    grow until their 1st birthday.
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52.@5 Don't let two people comb your
    hair at once.
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53.@5 Never shave at night.
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54.@5 Never, ever share a razor used by
    a dead man.
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  F U N E R A L   E T I Q U E T T E
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55.@5 Never hold a funeral on a Friday.
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56.@5 When a person dies in a house, you
    must immediately cover all mirrors
    and stop all clocks.
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57.@5 Children should not pretend to
    have funerals.
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58.@5 Don't ever try on a mourning veil.
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59.@5 Always remove a dead body from a
    house feet first.
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60.@5 Never ride in a hearse, unless you
    are the driver.
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61.@5 Don't count the cars in a funeral
    motorcade.
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62.@5 Avoid wearing new clothes to a
    funeral, especially new shoes.
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63.@5 Pull the shades in a room where a
    funeral service is taking place:
    if the sun hits a mourner's face,
    he is the next to die.
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64.@5 When walking in a funeral
    procession, don't look backwards.
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65.@5 Never point at a grave.
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66.@5 Try not to step across a grave.
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67.@5 Never leave a grave open
    overnight.
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68.@5 Don't ever be the first to leave
    the graveyard after a funeral.
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69.@5 If a corpse lies unburied on
    Sunday, another in town will
    surely die soon.


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70.@5 Wait a year before putting up a
    tombstone for a family member; if
    you don't, another family member
    will go before the year has ended.

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        G E N E R A L   A N D
      M I S C E L L A N E O U S
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71.@5 Drink May rainwater.
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72.@5 When sick, don't look in mirrors.
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73.@5 Don't give a person a peony.
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74.@5 Never measure your own height.
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75.@5 Try not to imagine its Saturday
    when its not.
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76.@5 Don't count cars on a passenger
    train.
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77.@5 Never whistle in a coal mine.
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78.@5 Avoid measuring a person who is
    lying down.
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79.@5 Don't walk backwards.
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80.@5 You must not allow a candle to burn
    itself out.
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81.@5 Never sell a dog.
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82.@5 Try not to kill a crow; but if you
    do, be sure to bury it while
    wearing black.
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83.@5 If you transplant a Cedar tree,
    you will die by the time it is big
    enough to shade a grave.
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84.@5 If you transplant a Willow tree,
    you will die by the time it is big
    enough to shade a grave.
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85.@5 Don't ever hang your hoe on a tree
    branch.
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86.@5 Don't skip a row when planting
    corn or beans.
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87.@5 If you watch a person out of
    sight, you'll never see them
    again.
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88.@5 Avoid stepping over a person who
    is lying down.
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89.@5 When your name is called, don't
    answer the first time-it may be
    the Devil calling you.
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90.@5 Never shake hands through a window
    or over a fence.
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91.@5 Try not to sit with your back to
    the fire.
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92.@5 Don't burn sassafras wood.
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93.@5 If you walk with your hands locked
    behind your head, it will kill
    your mother.
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94.@5 Don't even think of mocking an
    owl.
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95.@5 Don't store your shoes above your
    head.
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96.@5 Never kill a locust.
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97.@5 Never kill a lizard.
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98.@5 If you hear a hen crow, you must
    kill the hen.
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99.@5 If you are on a train when a woman
    boards, dressed in black, get off.
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100@5. Whatever you do, don't let a
     lizard count your teeth.