This is one of a collection of Black Adder samples. The samples can be identified by the filename as follows :- BAx-y-z.WAV x = Series, y = Episode, z = sample number or BA-xx-z.WAV xx = special, z = sample number Specials include :- CC ---> Black Adders Christmas Carol The series currently consists of the following samples (more to come later): BA2-1-1.WAV - "There's nothing more healthy than having a good ... Chum!" BA2-1-2.WAV - "You're just an old quack aren't you?" "I'd rather be a quack than a ducky, good day!" BA2-1-3.WAV - "God created man in his own image. It'd be a sad day for christians across the globe if he looked anything like you!" BA2-1-4.WAV - "Woouuuuf!" [Lord Flashheart] BA2-1-5.WAV - "She's got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste if a mans tonsils!" BA2-2-1.WAV - "We live in an age where illness and deformity are commonplace and yet Ploppy, you are without a doubt the most repulsive individual I have ever laid eyes on. I would shake your hand but I fear I would come off!" BA2-2-2.WAV - "Good morning Team. My name is Edmund BlackAdder and I'm the new minister in charge of religious genocide. You play straight by me and you'll find me a considerate employer, but you cross me and you'll find that underneath this playful, boyish exterior beats the heart of a ruthless, sadistic maniac." BA2-2-3.WAV - "And you must be the boy who makes the tea?" "No, no, he's the executioner. Although he does sometimes make the tea." BA2-2-4.WAV - "For there is a great pain in my heart" "That's probably indigestion, I'll soon take your mind off of that" "It's my husband" "Your husbands got indigestion, well he wont be bothering us then!" "No, he dies tomorrow" "Oh come, you can't die of indigestion! You're over dramatising!" "He is to be executed at your order" BA2-4-1.WAV - "Percy ... Just go forth into the street" BA2-4-2.WAV - "You mean you crap out of the window!" BA2-4-3.WAV - "You think there's a big demand for jewelry that looks like snot then?" BA2-4-4.WAV - "The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but mister brain has long since departed hasn't it Percy." BA2-4-5.WAV - "No! I am a genius!" BA2-4-6.WAV - "I am a collosal pervert! No form of sexual depravity is to low for me. Animal, vegetable or mineral, I'll do anything to anything!" BA4-1-1.WAV - "Mind if I use your phone? If word gets round that I'm missing 500 girls will kill themselves, and I wouldn't want them on my conceince. Not when they ought to be on my face!" BA4-1-2.WAV - "Treat ya woman like ya treat ya kite!" "What you mean take her home at the weekend to meet your mother?" "No, I'm mean get inside her 5 times a day and take her to heaven and back!" BA4-1-3.WAV - "And zee little fellow ... If you get lonely in the night I'm in zee old chataeu, there's no pressure" BA4-1-4.WAV - "Funny you should say that, but did have some help from a rather spiffing bloke. He's taken a break from some crucial top-level shagging!" BA4-1-5.WAV - "Now I may be packing the kind of tackle you'd expect to see swinging between the legs of a grand national winner ... but I'm not completely stupid!" BA4-2-1.WAV - "Security?" "Security isn't a dirty word BlackAdder ... Crevace is a dirty word, but security isn't" BA4-2-2.WAV - "Personally I recommend you get hold of a cockerspaniel. Tie your suspect down on a chair ... with a potty on his head, then pop his todger between two flowery baps and shout 'dinner time Fido!'" BA4-2-3.WAV - "Well bugger me with a fish fork!" BA-CC-1.WAV - "Weeeell ... Baste my steaming puddings!" BA-CC-2.WAV - "So shall I begin the Christmas story?" Black Adder patronises. "Absolutely, as long as it's not that terribly depressing one about that chap who gets born on Christmas day, shoots his mouth off about everything under the sun and then comes a cropper with a couple of rum coves on top of a hill in johnny arab land!" says Prince George. "You mean Jesus?" says the astounded Edmund. "Yes, that's the fellow ... keep him out of it, he always spoils the Xmas atmos'" BA-CC-3.WAV - "You have most pleasantly wibbled my frusset pouch!" says the Queen of the universe. BA-CC-4.WAV - "Three, four. God bless Mr.B at Christmas time and baby Jesus too. If we were little pigs we'd sing piggywiggy- wiggywiggywoo. Piggywiggywiggywiggywiggywiggywoo. Oh, piggy, wiggy, wiggy, woo. Piggywiggywoo. Oh, piggy, wiggywiggywiggywiggywoo" sing the poor orphan children. Clap ... clap ... clap ... "Utter crap!" say the reformed Mr.B Look out for more Black Adder coming soon. Also available/coming soon samples from : Die Hard Die Hard2 Working Girls Alien Aliens : Special Edition Batman Red Dwarf series II-V Monty Python (Parrot sketch not included) plus many more. If you have something you would like sampled or you have a particular quote from one of the above you think would be good why not drop me a line at one of the following : bchappell@cix.co.uk Brian Chappell on Flight Path +44 (0)81 759 7775 Brian Chappell on Mission Impossible +44 (0)602 654329 Enjoy! ;-)