Apply on: CRC: 0x37CDA4B8 File: quotes.list Date: Thu Feb 3 00:00:00 2000 1c1 CRC: 0xDA8AC7EE File: quotes.list Date: Thu Feb 10 00:00:00 2000 3c3 This is the Quotes List v1285 [Sun Feb 6 23:19:09 PST 2000] 147a148,155 # "$10,000 Pyramid, The" (1973) Announcer: Keep your eye on this spot. You are about to see one celebrity and one contestant step into this circle, with a chance to win $10,000 in less than a minute. Ladies and Gentlemen, THIS IS "THE $10,000 PYRAMID"!! 150c158 Coach: Today we'reng to talk about the body. 1714a1723,1727 Lord Percy Percy: I'd like to meet the Spaniard who can make his way past me. Lord Edmund Blackadder: Well, go to Spain; there are millions of them. 3016a3030,3034 Spike: The Ring of Amara. Official sponsor of my killing you. Buffy Anne Summers: When Giles sends me on a mission, he says "please." And afterwards I get a cookie. 6425a6444,6487 Leela: What are we delivering? Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Something without which no ribbon-cutting ceremony could proceed: the ceremonial oversized scissors. Leela: We'll get them there as quickly as we can. Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Alright, but don't run with them. Captain Zapp Brannigan: It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot the one thing: rock crushes scissors. [Suddenly thoughtful] But paper covers rock! And scissors cuts paper! Kif, we have a conundrum. [Zapp Brannigan and Kif were fired from DOOP.] Leela: Zapp? Captain Zapp Brannigan: Leela, I didn't know where else to turn. You're the only woman who's ever loved me. Leela: I never loved you. Captain Zapp Brannigan: I mean physically. Leela: What do you want? Captain Zapp Brannigan: Just let me work for a little food. Perhaps I could paint a fence, or service you sexually, or mop the floor! Leela: You don't know how to do ANY of those things. Captain Zapp Brannigan: Kif might. [Zapp mutinies against Leela.] Captain Zapp Brannigan: Leela, you may be a formidable do-er of the nasty, but I'm forced to relieve you of your post. [Bender is mutinying against Leela and locking her in the laundry room.] Bender Unit 22: Don't worry, Leela -- soon we'll be able to look on this and laugh. [Bender walks to the exit, turns around and laughs at her.] Captain Zapp Brannigan: You know, boys, a good captain needs abilities like boldness, daring and a good velour uniform, and I'm not convinced Leela has ANY of those things. Captain Zapp Brannigan: Here's to us poor schmoes, working for the man. Even if he is a hot, sexy female man. Neutral Vice President: Your Neutralness, it's a beige alert! Neutral President: If I don't survive, tell my wife "Hello." 8317a8380,8381 Hank Hill: Son, you're teasin' the gorilla in the monkey house. 8548a8613,8616 Shambala Green: We're pleading temporary insanity. Executive Assistant District Attorney Benjamin 'Ben' Stone: What, yours or your client's? 8561a8630,8639 Det. John Munch: I don't just want to rain on your parade, I want to burst all your floats. Capt. Donald "Donnie" Cragen: You don't get to pick the vic. Det. Brian Cassidy: So why didn't you ever have kids? Didn't want the responsibility? Det. John Munch: I wouldn't want to give a kid the responsibility of me. 8977a9056,9058 Amanda Carpenter: I never back the weak horse, sheriff, goes against my instincts. 9051c9132 Captain "Trapper John" McIntyre: It saves time, Frank. 11789c11870,11873 John Grant: Me, me, me. The guy needs to learn a new pronoun. Dr. Samantha "Sam" Waters: I thought you said you were gonna cut back on the drinking. 11792c11876,11878 Bailey Malone: Maybe he's trying to destroy perfection. I better lock my doors. Dr. Samantha "Sam" Waters: I think you can rest easy, Bailey. 11889a11976,11984 [At Sam and Al's first meeting] Dr. Sam Beckett: Who are you? Rear Admiral Albert "Al" Calavicci: My name is Albert... Albert what, I can't tell you because it's restricted. Most of what you'll want to know is restricted, so it would be a lot easier if you don't ask a lot of questions. Dr. Sam Beckett: What are you? Rear Admiral Albert "Al" Calavicci: That's a question, Sam. 12239a12335,12355 Red Green: What animal are you hunting, Reg? Douglas Hendrychuck: Well, it's an animal that makes a sound like this: Awooooo! Red Green: Yes, but what kind of animal is that? Douglas Hendrychuck: I dunno, but I betcha I can put a bullet in it. Buzz Sherwood: If you can't be with the plane you love, love the plane you're with. Red Green: There is a historical significance to party boats, going back to um, Cleopatra and um, Moses, and um the crew of the Exxon-Valdez. Red Green: So I guess the moral here is "Never throw a used fuel pump from a Russian Rocket Missile into Possum Lake." Red Green: The Red Green Show is kind of like the flu; not everybody gets it. Red Green: You know me, safety forced. 13664a13781,13786 # "So Weird" (1999) Bricriu: The problem with you mortals is the limited lifespan. Rush, rush, rush, rush, rush... less than a century to get things done! 15897a16020,16042 # "West Wing, The" (1999) President Josiah Bartlet: Congratulations. So, who is da man on this one? Communications Director Toby Ziegler: I think this time we're collectively da man, sir. Deputy Communications Director Sam Seaborn: I accidentally slept with a call girl. Communications Director Toby Ziegler: Accidentally? Did you trip over something? Press Secretary C.J. Cregg: You won't get a story by flirting with me. Danny: I know. Press Secretary C.J. Cregg: Then why do you do it? Danny: To flirt with you. President Bartlet: C.J., on your tombstone it's going to say "Post hoc, ergo, propter hoc." [Everyone stares blankly] Oh, come on, you guys went to law school, anyone want to take a guess? 17268c17413 HAL: It can only be attributable to human error. 24422a24568,24572 John J. Macreedy: It only just seems to me that there aren't many towns like this in America. But one town like it is enough. Because I think something' kind of bad happened here, I know this much. The rule of law has left here, and the gorillas have taken over. 28872a29023,29027 Dr. Karen Jenson: Vampires like you aren't a species, you're just infected, a virus, a sexually transmitted disease. Frost: I'll tell you what we are, sister. We're the top of the fucking food chain. 30352a30508,30530 Clyde Barrow: Alright. Alright. If all you want's a stud service, you get on back to West Dallas and you stay there the rest of your life. You're worth more than that. A lot more than that. You know it and that's why you come along with me. You could find a lover boy on every damn corner in town. It don't make a damn to them whether you're waitin' on tables or pickin' cotton, but it does make a damn to me. Bonnie Parker: Why? Clyde Barrow: Why? What's you mean, "Why?" Because you're different, that's why. You know, you're like me. You want different things. You got somethin' better than bein' a waitress. You and me travelin' together, we could cut a path clean across this state and Kansas and Missouri and Oklahoma and everybody'd know about it. You listen to me, Miss Bonnie Parker. You listen to me. Bonnie Parker: What would you do if some miracle happened and we could walk out of here tomorrow morning and start all over again clean? No record and nobody after us, huh? Clyde Barrow: Well, uh, I guess I'd do it all different. First off, I wouldn't live in the same state where we pull our jobs. We'd live in another state. We'd stay clean there and then when we'd take a bank, we'd go into the other state. 33358a33537,33538 Sally Bowles: Divine decadence darling! 37331a37512,37517 [Chavez was able to close in on the Sergeant Major by using a cheeseburger wrapper as a decoy] Sergeant Major: Soldier, how did you get so close to me? Chavez: Sniper approached the instructor by being a sneaky bastard, Sergeant Major! 38783a38970,38972 [While Prince Akeem is getting a bath] Attendant: The royal penis is clean. 41151a41341,41347 # Dance 'Til Dawn (1988) (TV) Wallace: Hey, I've got studs on my shirt. You know what that makes me, don't you? Kevin McCrea: Yeah: a dork. 43762a43959,43963 Marvin: So you like that one huh? How 'bout you give me twenty bucks for it? John McClane: How 'bout I let you live? Marvin: Man sure knows how to bargain. 44569a44771,44789 Metatron: You people! If it hasn't been made into a movie, it's not worth knowing about, is that it? Metatron: Human beings have neither the aural nor the psychological capacity to withstand the awesome power of God's true voice. Were you to hear it, you're mind would cave in and your heart would explode within your chest. We went through five Adams before we figured that out. Loki: Any moron with a pack of matches can start a fire. Raining down sulfur takes a huge level of endurance. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer. Bartleby: Our last two days on Earth. If I had a dick I'd go get laid. Loki: Well, let's do the next best thing. Bartleby: What's that? Loki: Let's kill people. 44935a45156,45159 Nick Parsons: Well, aren't you gonna do something? Travis Lehman: What are you talkin' to me for? She's the one with the gun. 47029a47254,47260 Robert Dudley, Earl of Leicester: Marry me. Elizabeth: On a night such as this, could any woman say no? Robert Dudley, Earl of Leicester: On a night such as this, could a queen say no? Elizabeth: Does not a queen sit under the same stars as any other woman? 47564a47796,47798 The Man: How can you expect to defeat me when you are just a man and I am forever? 48799a49034,49064 Regan MacNeil: You can bring Mr. Dennings if you like...Well, you like him...You're gonna marry him, aren't you? Chris MacNeil: Oh God, are you kidding me? Marry Burke Dennings! Don't be silly. Of course not. Where'd you ever get an idea like that? Regan MacNeil: But ya like him. Chris MacNeil: Of course I like him. I like pizzas too, but I'm not gonna marry one. Regan MacNeil: You don't like him like Daddy? Chris MacNeil: Regan. I love your Daddy. I'll always love your Daddy, honey. OK? Burke just comes around here a lot, 'cause, well, he's lonely. Don't got nuttin' to do. Regan MacNeil: [Coy] Well, I heard differently. Chris MacNeil: Oh you did. What did you hear? Huh? Regan MacNeil: I don't know. I just thought. Chris MacNeil: Well, you didn't think so good. Regan MacNeil: How do you know? Chris MacNeil: 'Cause Burke and I are just friends. OK? Really. OK. Father Damien Karras: It's my mother, Tom. She's alone. I never should have left her. At least in New York, I'd be near, I'd be closer. Tom: Could see about a transfer, Damien. Father Damien Karras: I need re-assignment, Tom. I want out of this job. It's wrong. It's no good. Tom: You're the best we've got. Father Damien Karras: Yeah, not really. It's more than psychiatry, and you know that Tom. Some of their problems come down to faith, their vocation and meaning of their lives, and I can't cut it anymore. I need out. I'm unfit. I think I've lost my faith, Tom. 50932a51198,51202 Tyler Durden: If you could fight any man in history, who would you fight? Narrator: Gandhi. Tyler Durden: Good answer! 50975a51246,51251 # Final Fantasy VII (1997) (VG) President Shin-Ra: These days, all it takes for your dreams to come true is money and power. 52945a53222,53226 Madeline 'Maddy' Wirtz: I don't even know your name. Margaret "Legs" Sadovsky: ...she says the next morning. Margaret "Legs" Sadovsky: Maddy... don't take any shit. 53065a53347,53387 # Free Enterprise (1998) Young Mark: So you're saying I should engage my advanced-for-a-twelve-year-old intellect and use logic? Imaginary William Shatner: Logic is the other guy's schtick, but yes. Imaginary William Shatner: I'm not really here. I'm one of the top ten imaginary friends kids have. Just behind John Travolta, Reggie Jackson, and Farrah Fawcett-Majors. Mark's Mom: Mark, Mark, what are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to go to that movie -- that "Star Track" movie. Young Mark: Oh, Mom, how many times do I have to tell you? "Track" is what a train goes on, okay? "Trek" is what the Enterprise goes on, okay? Mark's Mom: Yeah, and they say the pain of childbirth ends with labor. [Young Robert was in a fight with a larger kid while wearing a gold Starfleet uniform, when William Shatner appears to him.] Imaginary William Shatner: I think I ought to tell you that that, uh, Aryan youth is gonna kick you into oblivion. Young Robert: But what about in "Arena" when Kirk fought the Gorn? That giant lizard monster was three times as big as him! Imaginary William Shatner: My boy, that was a TV show. I used a stunt double. I always use a stunt double. Except in love scenes. I insist on doing those myself. Young Robert: Well, what would you do to avoid a fight? Imaginary William Shatner: I wouldn't dress like a geek. Gold is not your color. Think earth tones. [Shatner just asked Robert why he started the fight.] Young Robert: Well... it was something he said. Imaginary William Shatner: What'd he say? Young Robert: You really don't want to know. Imaginary William Shatner: I really do want to know! Young Robert: He said that Han Solo was cooler than Captain Kirk. [Pause] Imaginary William Shatner: Kick the little fucker's ass. 55565,55570c55887,55892 Gia Carangi: Life and death, energy and peace. If I stop today it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I made and would have unmade if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul, it was worth it, for having been allowed to walk where I've walked, which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, and above. 55574a55897,55937 Gia Carangi: I'm in charge, and I'm leavin'! Gia Carangi: Are you nervous? T.J.: Yeah. Gia Carangi: Am I making you nervous? T.J.: Yeah. Gia Carangi: Well, good, that's the idea. Gia Carangi: You scare the shit out of people so they can't see how scared you are. Gia Carangi: You look so pretty. Stephanie: Thank you. Gia Carangi: I love you. Stephanie: I know, you love everyone. Gia Carangi: I do be da pittiest pittiest girl, I do be dat. Gia Carangi: I could do this, I could be a fucking housewife. Maurice: She hated to be photographed. You had to run after her and tie her down. And you had to get past all the junk in her hair. But she was special. Gia Carangi: Look, this was a free trip to New York. If I had known you were looking for Marcia fucking Brady, I woulda stayed home. Gia Carangi: Well somebody has to take care of me! I'm just a kid! T.J.: Bullshit. T.J.: Have you ever had sex with a man before? Gia Carangi: Yeah, once. T.J.: And? Gia Carangi: And... I could have done that with a German Shepard. Gia Carangi: Dear Book, this is another day in the life. A life is like a book, a book is like a box. A box has six sides. Inside and outside. So, how do you get to what's inside? How do you get what's inside out? Once upon a time there was a girl who lived in a beautiful box and everybody loved her. 57702a58066,58073 # Grand serpent du monde, Le (1999) Tom: You've never seen the Mississippi. You've never seen it. You've never crossed the desert. Space. When you're driving towards Mexico, when you're driving through space, God is sitting beside you. You are God. 58909a59281,59283 Mrs. Murphy: What did you learn in school today? Dade Murphy: Revenge. 61274a61649,61654 # Hips, Hips, Hooray (1934) Miss Frisby: Two minds and a single thought. Dr. Dudley: Yes, it's about all they can handle at one time. 63347a63728,63736 # Hush (1998) Jackson Baring: You do make a better impression with your clothes off. Martha Baring: I want this lying bitch out of my house. Helen: There's only room for one of those. 65411,65412c65800,65801 Ethan Powell: You were right, freedom is not just a dream, it's there, beyond those fences that we build all by ourselves. 71769a72159,72161 Counter Girl: You could be walking around lucky, and not even know it. 72463a72856,72868 # Life (1999) Rayford Gibson: The Cotton Club's alright. But it ain't got nothin' on The Boom Boom Room. If any of you ever get to New York, go to Ray's Boom Boom Room, the most happening spot in all of Manhattan. Cookie: You've got your very own nightclub? Rayford Gibson: Well, it's kinda in the development stage, but I'll get it. Goldmouth: Well, then it don't exist. Rayford Gibson: It does up here, Goldmouth. It exists in my mind. You've got to have that. That's where it all starts. As a man think it, so then shall he get, some shit like that. You've read the bible, right? 72535a72941,72971 Jackson: What the hell did you do to her? Robert: I punched her in the face. Jackson: Oh, you punched her in the face. She's half your size and you punch her in the face? Robert: She had a gun! Jackson: Oh, she had a gun! So that makes everything all right, does it? Robert: No, I'm not saying it makes everything all right. I'm just trying to explain to you that for all I knew, she could have been a karate expert or something. Jackson: With a broken arm? WITH A BROKEN ARM?! Robert: O.K., I'm sorry. Celine's Mother: Remember my dear, they only want one thing. Maybe they want it more than once, but it's still only one thing. O'Reilly: Our fee for the recovery of your daughter is...one hundred thousand dollars. Naville: That's a lot of money. O'Reilly: Five thousand in advance. The rest is cash on delivery--no daughter, no dough. Jackson: And naturally we'd operate a sliding scale, whereby if we only bring back part of your daughter, we only get part of the money. O'Reilly: That's enough, Jackson. Jackson: No, I mean if he's cut her ears off and we can't find them, we'll knock a couple thousand off the tariff. More for a limb, obviously. O'Reilly: Jackson. Jackson: Sorry. 75500a75937,75945 # Madame Claude (1977) [Running in the woods.] David Evans: Where are you? I want to see my executioner! I'm innocent! I'm a nobody! Why kill me? Why kill me? Why don't you speak? Go ahead! [He's shot and falls, looking up, smiling.] That's strange. I hear the rain. [Laughs.] But I can't... feel it. 75883a76329,76332 Jake Taylor: I'm hung over, my knees are killin' me and if you're going to pull this shit at least you could've said you were from the Yankees! 77333a77783,77784 Fanny Price: I have no talent for certainty. 78451,78452d78901 78946a79396,79398 Kay: I've just been down the gut of an interstellar cockroach. That's one of a million memories I don"t want. 89862a90315,90321 [The condemned men are awaiting execution.] Corporal Paris: See that cockroach? Tomorrow morning, we'll be dead and it'll be alive. It'll have more contact with my wife and child than I will. I'll be nothing, and it'll be alive. [Ferol smashes the roach.] Private Ferol: Now you got the edge on him. 94608a95068,95070 Ernest Tucker: The funny thing about that little white speck on the top of chicken shit. That little white speck is chicken shit too. 95495a95958,95961 Indiana Jones: I can only say I'm sorry so many times. Marion Ravenwood: Well, say it again anyway! Indiana Jones: Sorry. 99825a100292,100296 [Rudolph, Herbie, and Yukon Cornelius sail into a thick fog.] Yukon Cornelius: Fog's as thick as peanut butter. Herbie: You mean pea soup. Yukon Cornelius: You eat what you like, I'll eat what I like! 103527a103999,104000 104268a104742,104748 Zach Siler: Sometimes when you open up to people, you let the bad in with the good. Zach Siler: All you have left is a C minus GPA with a Wonderbra. Taylor Vaughan: I could win this thing on the first day of my period. 105451a105932,105938 Kathy Selden: Now look, Miss Lamont, Don and I... Lina Lamont: Don? Don't you *dare* call him Don! I was calling him Don before you were born! I mean -- [Watching Lina Lamont in "The Royal Rascal"] Flapper: She's so refined. I think I'll kill myself. 105521a106009,106017 # Sinister Urge, The (1961) [Mary sees Ed Wood posters on pornographer Johnny Ride's office wall.] Mary Smith: Are gangster and horror films all you produce? Johnny Ryde: Those are made by friends of mine. I think you'll find my type of picture entirely different. 106913a107410,107412 Charlie Mackenzie: I was afraid you were going to kil-- leave me. Harriet Michaels: You were afraid I was going to cleave you? 108051a108551,108579 Spalding Gray: We stepped into that clear river and an ice cold can of unopened Budweiser just came floating by. Renee just reached out, popped it and chug-a-lugged it down. We were thinking of selling it to the Budweiser people, you know, as an ad, you know? "Young yuppie couple steps out of mountain, this Bud's for you!" type of situation. [On owning land instead of a home.] Spalding Gray: What if the gypsy moths come back next year when they're not supposed to come back? Can you imagine owning eighty denuded acres? [On the house he was interested in buying.] Spalding Gray: The only problem was the foundation. There really wasn't one. [On Johnny Delfredo.] Spalding Gray: Mainly what we talked about is how I should by a big car when driving on the freeways. Big General Motors car, you know? Maybe a Cadillac... maybe his. [On Johnny Delfredo.] Spalding Gray: Renee is going, "Don't deal with this man anymore. Give up right away. I don't like the way he sounds. I don't trust him. He sounds like my father." Spalding Gray: I felt someone owned the house before me, now I owned it, and someone would own it after me... I hoped. 108318a108847,108851 Ortiz: You're not too bright man, but ya got some big round hairy cajones. Jack Traven: That's very gross Ortiz. Ortiz: Huh, can't even pay him a compliment. 110831a111365,111369 # Steel (1997) Uncle Joe: Well dip me in shit and roll me in breadcrumbs. 116830a117369,117412 Jem: There goes the meanest man that ever took a breath of life. Dill Harris: Why is he the meanest man? Jem: Well, for one thing, he has a boy named Boo that he keeps chained to a bed in the house over yonder. Boo only comes out at night when you're asleep and it's pitch-dark. When you wake up at night, you can hear him. Once I heard him scratchin' on our screen door, but he was gone by the time Atticus got there. Dill Harris: I wonder what he does in there? I wonder what he looks like? Jem: Well, judgin' from his tracks, he's about six and a half feet tall. He eats raw squirrels and all the cats he can catch. There's a long, jagged scar that runs all the way across his face. His teeth are yella and rotten. His eyes are popped. And he drools most of the time. Jean Louise "Scout" Finch: May I see your watch? "To Atticus, My Beloved Husband." Atticus, Jem says this watch is gonna belong to him some day. Atticus Finch: That's right. Jean Louise "Scout" Finch: Why? Atticus Finch: Well, it's customary for the boy to have his father's watch. Jean Louise "Scout" Finch: What are you gonna give me? Atticus Finch: Well, I don't know that I have much else of value that belongs to me. But there's a pearl necklace. There's a ring that belonged to your mother. And I put them away and they're to be yours. Atticus Finch: I remember when my daddy gave me that gun. He told me that I should never point it at anything in the house. And that he'd rather I'd shoot at tin cans in the backyard, but he said that sooner or later he supposed the temptation to go after birds would be too much, and that I could shoot all the blue jays I wanted, if I could hit 'em, but to remember it was a sin to kill a mockingbird. Well, I reckon because mockingbirds don't do anything but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat people's gardens, don't nest in the corncrib, they don't do one thing but just sing their hearts out for us. Tom Robinson: Looks like she didn't have nobody to help her. I felt right sorry for her. She seemed... Lawyer: You felt sorry for her? A white woman? You felt sorry for her? 117406a117989,117991 Goose: We regret to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid. 125049a125635,125641 Crazy Lee: Well, how'd you like to kiss my sister's black cat's ass? Pike Bishop: We're not gonna get rid of anybody. We're gonna stick together, just like it used to be. When you side with a man, you stay with him. And if you can't do that, you're like some animal, you're finished. We're finished! All of us! 125254a125847,125889 # Willow (1988) High Aldwin: Magic is the bloodstream of the universe. The High Aldwin: [throws an apple into the air which turns into a bird] Go in the direction the brid is flying! Burgelcutt: He's going back to village! The High Aldwin: Ignore the bird. Follow the river. Willow: See this acorn? I'll throw it at you and turn you to stone? Madmartigan: Ooh, I'm really scared. Help! There's a peck with an acorn pointed at me! Willow: Don't call me a peck! Madmartigan: Oh I'm sorry! Peck! Peck! Peck, peck, peck, peck, peck! Madmartigan: It's good for ya! Puts hair on yer chest, doesn't it, sticks? Willow: Her name is NOT sticks, she is Elora Danon, the future princess or Tir Asleen! And the last thing she's gonna want is a hairy chest! Sorsha: What are you looking at? Madmartigan: Your leg. I'd like to break it. Madmartigan: I love you Sorsha! Sorsha: Stop saying that! Madmartigan: What happened back there? Willow: You started spouting poetry. "I love you Sorsha! I worship you Sorsha!" You almost got us killed! Madmartigan: "I love you Sorsha?" I don't love her, she kicked me in the face! I hate her... Don't I? Sorsha: What happened to "You are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky"? Mad Martigan: It went away. Sorsha: "I dwell in darkness without you," and it *went away*? Willow: I've sent her... I've sent her to a place where evil cannot touch her! Bavmorda: That's impossible! There's no such place! 126607a127243,127249 Dr. Christmas Jones: If I don't get that plutonium back, somebody's gonna have my butt. Commander James Bond, Agent 007: First things first. Elektra King: You can't kill me, you would miss me too much. James Bond: I never miss.