DAVE DIAMOND IS PISSED!
                          -----------------------

                          BY DAVE "HUMPH!" DIAMOND


You  know  I`m  sure  that  many,many people enjoy reading my articles -
especially  the  adult ones.  And one day when reading The Word issue 13
Kei  wrote  that  I  seem to be the only person that enjoys seeing adult
articles.  Well I think that YOU (that`s everyone) enjoy reading them as
much  if  not  more  than  I  enjoy writing them.  The problem is that I
thought  by  introducing  the  series  "My  First..."  would generate an
interest  into  revealing  some  of  the other readers first experiences
resuting in some great and interesting reading.

Well  I  seem  to have quite alot of ESP as in an earlier article `Who`s
the  biggest wanker?` I said that I`d probably be the only dude to write
in  with  these  revealing  articles....and  I  was.   Perhaps  it`s the
voyeuristic  nature  in  you readers to view but do nothing more.  Hey!!
I`m  embarassing myself here - just for your pleasure!  Let`s have a bit
more  interest  from other readers,even if it`s to congratulate me on my
forwardness.

Secret  fans  of my sexy articles will be pleased to know that there are
just a few more revealing articles to come - but NOT MANY!

If  anyone  wants  to send me a prostitute,cigar,bottle of vodka or some
other item so I can have some research for future `My First...` articles
then please send them to the usual address.

Until  then,this  is  Dave Diamond,the international member (!) of great
articles signing off.....

Send your offers of marriage,sex offers and other delicious material to

DAVE-DIAMOND@USA.NET

Or  the  old  fashioned way of having some dude deliver a paper envelope
and then push it through my box (!) to

DAVE DIAMOND
C/O THE INVADERS
4 CEFN RHOS
TREDEGAR
GWENT
NP2 3PA


Thanks for reading,your reward is myself. (That`s GREAT!)


[I  think  that  the reason that not many people responded to your adult
articles  is  that  they  couldn't figure out the cryptic clue to get at
them.  Lately, even Carnage members have been asking me for the codes as
I never gave them it as I figured they'd easily figure them out!  Kei]


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