Film Reviews part 1
by Kei/Carnage
I've decided to review some films seen as how I watch so many each week.
These may not be the latest releases but they are ones I like and may
interest you just in case you have not sen them yet. The idea of film
recommendations has been on the minds of many people lately and if you
have internet access and want to check out what films might be up your
alley then check out "www.moviecritic.com". Untill then read on..
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Title : Adventures In Babysitting
Rating: 6/10
Starring a then relatively unknown Elizabeth Shue as the babysitter.
She has to babysit a young girl and her slightly older brother who has a
crush on Shue. Combined with the boys best friend, the foursome go on
an adventure through Manhatten when Shue's friend calls to say she's ran
away from home and is stuck at a bus depot without any money.
The journey features being chased by car thieves, scared shitless by a
pickup-truck driver with a hook for a hand and hanging out of skyscraper
windows and crashing the odd party and blues club.
Well worth seeing just for the opening scene where Miss Shue dances all
over her bed miniming to a song.
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Title : American Yakuza
Rating: 5/10
First of 3 films based around the relationship between the east and
west today (other two being Blue Tiger and White Tiger).
In it, the main character saves the life of a Japanese Yakuza (mafia)
boss and is rewarded with membership into the organisation. He is
however an undercover cop but he falls in love with a Japanese lady and
becomes friends with the Yakuza boss. Lots of martial arts scenes make
up for some crap twists in the storyline but the overall film is a lot
better than most John Woo films I've seen to date.
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Title : Army Of Darkness (aka: Evil Dead III)
Rating: 7/10
I've never seen Evil Dead I, but I did see Evil Dead II and I thought
it was pretty gruesome but then I was never into Horror. I saw a review
of Army Of Darkness and figured I'd give it a try. I was quite suprised
to discover it was a Horror/Comedy. The first of it's type I had come
across. It completly takes the piss out of horror in my opinion. The
main character is transported to a time and place where everyone is
dressed as knights of the round table sorta-thing and there are witches
and evil monsters etc. However he has a pump action shotgun which he
calls his "fire stick" which he uses to blow the top of a knights sword
who swings it in his direction. His other hand is missing (cut-off in
Evil Dead II by himself when it became possesed) and in it's place is a
chainsaw which sometimes refuses to start and when it does it is ideal
for cutting witches heads off.
You'll laugh your head off at this!
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Title : Assassins
Rating: 8/10
The constant use of laptops, mobile phones and hacker techniques in
this film made it a winner in my opinion instantly. Stallone plays a
hitman who wishes to retire but has to do one last job before hand. The
second best assassin has other ideas though because he wants to be
number one and wishes to permanently retire Stallone.
In comes Electra (Julliane Moore) an attractive information hacker who
Stallone spares and uses to help him get rid of the other assassin
(Banderas) and to deliver an encrypted disk to some Dutch buyers for the
payment he needs to retire on.
Well worth seeing just for the hotel scenes.
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Title : Bladerunner
Rating: 9/10
A classic. Where "War Games" is regarded as the film that spawned
great interest in the hacker culture, "Bladerunner" is said to of done
the same with the cyberpuk culture. Pre-Gibsonian, this film shows us a
popular culture where there is a great oriental infulence (also as
Gibson predicted in Neuromancer). Robots are brought to the
sophistication of the Nexus models which look human. Several of these
"replicants" escape from their mining colony as their life time is
almost up and they want to live longer. Harrison Ford plays the
bladerunner, a cop who hunts down replicants.
This film set the level at which all other cyberpunk films must
compete. Stylish backgrounds featuring a product-orientated lanscape
with huge billboards on the side of billboards and good-year blimps.
Bladerunner has become a cult film with a huge gathering on the net.
You cannot call yourself a cyberpunk unless you have seen this film.
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Title : The Chase
Rating: 6/10
Charlie Sheen plays a guy who was mistaken as a bank robber dressed as
a clown. He escapes from jail to end up facing 2 dumb policemen in a
petrol station shop. Kidnapping a young girl and taking her red BMW
they proceed to mexico with a load of cop cars and news helicopters in
tow.
An extremly funny chase movie where the main set is the inside of a
car. The best scenes are where he sticks a gun out of a window to scare
off an approaching cop car but he hit's a stone in the road causing
himself to accidentally fire the gun blowing out the cop cars front tyre
so it somersaults across the road. The reporters then report him as
being "an expert marksman". Or where a truck carrying corpses to a
medical centre spills them across the road and over the front of a
trailing cop car.
I guarantee you'll find this film very funny.
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Title : Cherry 2000
Rating: 8/10
A B-movie that is actually pretty good. Set in the future where there
is a shortage of women. Several companies have been specialising in
female models that do everything a real woman does (without the
nagging). Their memory is stored on a small compact disk which can be
removed. While making love to his model one night it accidentally gets
water past it's outer skin layer resulting in a short circuit. Removing
the memory chip (personality of the model) our main character must find
a replacement model. A local dealer offers him several models but tells
him that his current model is beyond repair and they do not make the
"Cherry 2000" model any more. Asking if there are any in storage
anywhere he is told there maybe one but it's in an old warehouse
situated in the badlands which is now ruled by bandits.
He then hire's a tracker (Melanie Griffith) to get him to the warehouse
situated in what was Las Vegas. The two travel the badlands in a
cutomised red Ford Mustang through desert and underground pipelines.
The story is a pretty good sci-fi featuring well known sci-fi actors.
The main point the film gets across is if you had the choice of the real
thing or a robot, which would you choose?
One of my long time favourites.
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Title : Concierge
Rating: 8/10
Little Michael.J.Fox grows on you after a while. Ever watch Spin City?
In this he play's the concierge of a large hotel. In a way the film is
a sort of comedy even though it tries to be romantic at times. The
party gate crashing scene reminds me of "A weekend At Bernies" and I
kinda like the way his character can smooth talk anyone and palm money
at the same time.
Well worth seeing!
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Title : Crash
Rating: 6/10
At the time this was released I had read a review saying a film called
CRASH was really horny and another saying it was Cyberpunk. This turned
out to be neither. I was confused and later discovered 3 films were
released around the same time with the same name! A japanese cyberpunk
film was released, a film about getting off on car accidents was
released and so was this one.
Starring Michael Biehn (terminator). This is one hell of a fast,
action paced movie centred around the fact that mobsters want their
compact disk back and the guy that has it doesn't want to give it back.
Biehn teams up with a female undercover cop through this explosive
action movie with non stop firefights with bullets and bodies spraying
everywhere.
Sort of an american John Woo style film with some hard core action
styles I ain't seen before thrown in.
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Title : The Crow
Rating: 9/10
Another one of my favourite films. The whole film is shot in a gothic
landscape where it never appears to have a day. A guy and his girl are
killed by a local gang. A year later he comes back with the help of a
crow to exact revenge. Technically however he is not alive and therefoe
shooting/stabbing him doesn't seem to do anything.
My favourite scenes are at the pawnbrokers where the owner keeps
shooting him and the bullets keep going through him and as he walks
closer the guy keeps pulling the trigger saying "shit on me, shit on
me!!!". Also where he is on top of the buildings playing his guitar!
Worth seeing no matter what you are into!
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Title : Cyborg 2 : Glass Shadow
Rating: 6/10
This has nothing to do with the origonal Cyborg film starring our man
Claude. In fact it's a seperate film altogether in my opinion. A man
at a cyborg teaching facility falls for a female cyborg due to be sent
on a suicide mission. He frees her but the company send people out to
get him. This feels like Bladerunner but not quite. The woman is
gorgeous (Angeline Jolie from hackers) and so are the sets. The ending
gives food for thought.
A film for any cyberpunk who hasn't seen it yet.
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Title : Dunston Checks In
Rating: 7/10
This is a comedy aimed at anybody. Based in a hotel ran by a father
who has 2 sons who enjoy using the hotel as their private game room. An
english guest brings a monkey (Dunston) with him in order to steal
jewelery from various guests rooms and escape via the side of the
building.
This will appeal to anyone who wants to spend an hour or so laughing at
the slightest stupid thing (like I do).
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Title : Fair Game
Rating: 8/10
Supposed to be crap because Cindy Crawford is in it (non of you lot
should be saying "who?") but it's actually quite good. Crawford plays a
lawyer who is defending the wife of a criminal. She gets custody of the
guys boat which he needs for his illegal tapping of the undersea bank
lines so he can commit wire fraud. He is in partnership with a bunch of
ex-special force russians who send out teams to illimate Miss Crawford.
She is protected by William Baldwin, a cop whose CV should prove an
interesting read if the skills he uses in this film are anything to go
by.
The film is action packed with chases, shoot outs and enough intrigue
and use of computers that it should interest you lot reading this. The
scene where the russian's use thermal imaging cameras to track body heat
in a hotel is pretty cool because they can't see the cop because he's
having a cold shower (after taking a long look at Miss Crawfords legs no
doubt).
If you want a Die Hard type action movie then watch this!
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Title : Ferris Beullers Day Off
Rating: 7/10
I used to watch this a lot when it first came out. It's a manual for
anyone wishing to skip school and have some fun! All the stars have
gone on to become major stars these days but this film never gets old!
It's a comedy exploring what school/college kids have to look forward to
when they have to leave school. Get's deep at times but the soundtrack
and stupid headmaster make up for any lack of relevance to anything but
truancy that may creep in.
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end
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