READERS MAIL
This is where we answer your questions, publish letters sent to The
Word and generally answer any fan mail.
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"Welcome Back!"
Well dont you just know it,after months of withdrawl symptoms after
loosing the word disk magazine it rises from the dead for issue number
12. I hadn`t heard that it had came back until a new contact said he
saw my advert in issue 12,well i was impressed,also to find out that
some of my articles had also been published!
At the time of writing (12/2/97) i still haven`t seen the new and
improved version,hopefully someone will send it to me soon and i can
have a good read again.
Thanks heavens the word is back in all good pd libraries everywhere,at
last i can finally get some sleep at night,oh no hang on a minute i
promised i`d shag Demi Moore and Carol Smillie every night of the week
constantly,damn!
A stud`s work is never done!
Dave Diamond
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Dear Dave
I don't know how to break this to you but it's issue 15 now. In your
letter to me you said "Here's some more articles for issue 13". I must
tell you that in your lust to spend time writing more articles you
seemed to of inadvertantly missed a few issues. However, they were
amazing issues for some reason we cannot explain. ;)
The Word Staff
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"Forgotten Babes"
Sure we`ve all made lists as to what famous person we would like to make
love to but what about the ones we or rather I forgot to include in my
list. There are just too many girls I would make love to but what
follows is a list of girls that although totally beautifull seem to have
been forgotten by our minds.
Carol Smillie (lottery host)
Anthea Turner (former lottery host)
Christina Applegate (kelly from married with children)
Amanda Bearse (marcy from married with children)
Helen Slater (from the film supergirl)
Jayne Seymour (from dr quinn medicine woman)
Tiffani Amber Theisen (from beverly hills 90210)
Melissa Joan Hart (from Sabrina the teenage witch)
Raquel Welch (from all sorts of films)
Christina Ricci (from Casper)
And there`s LOADS more!
Dave Diamond
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Dear Dave
It's true that if a person (let's say female here) becomes famous and
appears on TV/Satellite then there's a chance that she will appear on
the internet in GIF/JPG form or in some teenage boys "screwable" list,
if of course she's beautiful. Take for instance the magazine "FHM"
which makes a living on publishing such lists from readers surveys. A
few years ago FHM was donated to barbers shops and wasn't read as widely
as today since it went "girlie". Soon it will be on the top shelf!
(God knows how I'll reach it then).
These lists are not really about who you forgot whem compiling it or
how many you list but about your tastes, to be honest. From a list of
females any guy lists, we can get an idea of their "type" and to what
"extremes" they'd go (Honor Blackman anyone?). However, to be honest,
they are very sexist but fun to write! ;)
Kei
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"Oh No!"
I just thought that because of my good friend the Arab my articles will
appear on every computer possible,generally so who-ever wants to see
them - can. But wait a moment,what if my true love Melissa Joan Hart
reads my articles and then stumbles upon the dreaded sex articles that
were once banned by the word! Will she find me a slob of a man who only
has sexual desires for her or will she find that my writing is of a
nature that shows the man behind the keyboard as a caring gentlemen and
she admires me for my honesty about sex?
Anyway if your reading Missy,i`m sorry if i offended you,but if you
didn`t mind then get in touch and let`s talk!
Send all your psychotherapy advice on Daves dilema to the usual address.
Dave Diamond
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Dear Dave
I actually checked out a program recently on Nickelodeon called
"Clarrisa" I believe starring this person of whom you keep referring to.
She seems a little young in this so we at The Word are starting to get
worried about you and are glad that local schools are starting to
improve their security.
This besottedness that seems to be occuring among guys today with
regards to female TV personalities seems to be on the increase. Dick
seems obsessed with Jenny Powell lately. I told him she was on everyday
on SKY (Coming Soon/HOT 11pm) and The Live Six Show but I haven't heard
from him since. I'm expecting a pile of blank videos to arrive on my
doormat shortly or maybe he's gone off to subscribe to SKY?
Gee.. I don't know. Is there a cure for you guys? By the way... do
you think Sam Norman looks kinda cute? ;)
Kei
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"To All Readers"
I`d just like,to say that i`ve got a bit of a head ache at the moment
from writing all these articles....AND IT`S ALL YOUR FAULT,YOU
CONSTANTLY DEMAND MORE FROM THIS SWEAT DRIVEN MAGAZINE AND YOU`RE NEVER
SATISFIED UNTIL EVERY LAST WRITER HAS DROPPED FROM COMPLETE
EXHAUSTION!!!!
I DAMN ALL OF YOU TO HELL YOU SWINES.
IF I HAD A CHANCE I WOULD TURN INTO A VIRUS AND ..',LPOPJ.J
KRHMDOK,HB','BF,
Hello everyone,this is Dr.Jack Meback of the "mad hatters clinic" here
just to say that mr Diamond got so carried away a few moments ago that
we had to take him into therapy,we wish to announce that he will no
longer be able to write anymore text in this article.
Thanks very much.
DR.J.Meback
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Dear Dr.J.Meback
We at The Word would consider it a great favour if you could keep Dave
there a while longer.. say another year? The cheque is in the post.
The Word Staff
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"To All Readers II"
Hello again,just a quick message to all mr Diamonds readers and fans
that Dave has now left therapy and has found his "inner child" it was
apparently stuck behind the couch all this time.
From our therapy studies we can now deduce that mr Diamond was mentally
ill from revealing too many torrid sex facts and fantasies from his mind
that he snapped completely and confessed that he actually gets paid by
chippendales to reveal to them how to pull women and how to woo.
Further studies also revealed that mr Diamond was so wacky because "his
comfort blanket called gog told him to" and that the whole world will
surrender to "gog" and the "wowies".
Mr Diamond is now well and on his feet and should be back to work
writing articles soon and willn;:,fn">gn .:,
Jack: mr Diamond what are you doing???
Dave: HI FOLKS THE SEX MANIAC IS BACK,FORGET ALL THAT TRIPE THE QUACK
TOLD YA IT`S ALL LIES I TELLS YA GLPKGOK,DNLNL,NCFPKP;C,L'[L./-0]08I-4
GET OFFA ME WILL YA
Jack: quick hold him down
Dave: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, HAIL GOG!
Jack: come on mr Diamond,time for your medicine.
Dave: Mom,is that you?
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Dear Dr.J.Meback
We've sent an additional cheque and a bottle of pills for Dave. His
mum said he should take them all at once. I've taken the liberty of
removing the label so as not to inconvience you with having to read
anything.
Thanks..
The Word Staff
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