"Always remember that it takes two to start a flamewar." "Brilliant... Genius... Best message of 1993!" -- N.Y. Times "Misunderstanding is very easy in Echo life." -- Mayhew "REP.. REP.. REP.." - Frog with a QWK packet stuck in his throat *WARNING* Message explodes when deleted! +++ ATH +++ ATH +++ ATH... Work Damn-it!!! 1200 bps used to seem so fast 2 x 4 bbs - a basic board. 300 bps Is that life in the sloooow lane or what? 386 and HST 144x - The only way to fly! 4 of 5 Sysops prefer donuts; one prefers men...but he's strange. 4 out of 5 modems prefer it. 500 echoes, and I had to pick this one <- Grains Of Salt. Take As Needed With Above Message. <----- The information went data way -----> to read the next message A bad day: "Transfer completed (5720468 bytes, 1 CPS)" A BBSer's telephone bill knows no bounds... A fool and his money are SysOp material. A little LAN will do it! A message from the depths of Hell! A modem is a baudy house. A QWK a day means you're offline! A social life? What board do I download THAT from? A USRHST-worlds most powerful modem-feeling lucky punk? Aaaahhhhh-CHU! Not Virus, BBS Fever. Aaahh! Look out for that priest*$&^### NO MARRIER Abandon all hope, ye who press [{] here... Abstinence should be practiced with modulation ACK and ye shall receive. After dinner, he said, "Your modem or mine?" Ahh! Come on Mr SysOp, just this one last little feature! Alexander Graham Bell is alive and well, and still waiting for a dial tone! All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here. All rational thought goes out the window when you start a bbs:) And another message from the young upstart. And I've got 4,567 archived messages to prove it. And now for some feedback: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE And now we return you to your (ir)regular conference. And on the 8th day, God created echo mail. Annual shots will protect FIDO from Disease ! Anybody who'd run a COMM program is a COMMIE. Are 12 lines at 1,200bps as good as 1 line at 14,400bps? Are You Kidding? I NEVER Lurk! As flames run rampant on the net, I state my disclaimer: As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code. Asking whether a message is off-topic is itself off-topic. AT&GETMAIL&READMAIL&REPLY&STEALTAG Attention!! Modem addict on the lOOse Aw, Honey... Just one more message, honest... Back off, pardner! I have a twit filter and I'm not afraid to use it. baud bps Baud, James Baud. - famous British spy/modemer BBS 'till you drop - carrier BBS busy. (C)all back later (T)hrow tantrum? BBS Not Ready. Error Reading User's Mind. Start Again. BBS Tip #45: ALT-H gives you SysOp access! BBS: a method to triple your phone bill. BBS: When hive insects start telling tales. BBS=Busted Broke SysOp. Now you know what it *REALLY* means!! BBS? But where do the thumbtacks go? BBSers do it and watch it on the monitor. BBSers do it with .ZIP. BBSing - all the social dynamics of pre-school! BBSing ... time's blackhole. BBSing is a fun, relaxing hobby after a hard days work BBSing's like sex, except for not wanting to get off. BBSing: Files, folks and fun Beat me! Whip me! Make me use Kermit. Benji! Look out for the lion !&^*#&& NO TERRIER Beware of Modem Addiction! It's contagious! Birdmodem: ZRCHRP Received. Sending SEEDS.LZH BIT: Past tense of BYTE. Bits, Bytes, Bauds ...Can't live With, or Without! Bored of insulting ya friends ? Join FIDO and insult 'em before they come Borg? Where? I don't se*(#$#..NO CARRIER Boy Am I Tired! It Must Be The NET-LAG! Break right! He's got tone on me! ^$0y@!#) NO HARRIER! Broadcast Message AT 4:45pm Brain going down immediately. But I wanna get my mail packet, I wanna, I wanna,I wanna! Call 1-800-52-STERN For "CRUSIFIED BY THE FCC"!!! Call Waiting may cause your security level to drop! Can I blame all of my spelling on line noise? Can you believe it? This message really does end? Can you teach an old SysOp new tricks? Can you whistle 300 baud? Cap'n! The twit filter canna take much a more a 'dis. Car phone answering machine: "Hi, I'm home right now..." Catch the wave........... Caution, Student BBS'er at the Wheel... CAUTION--The Users Bite Chit chat and drivel unwelcome here Citation for slow BBS'ing: Going 2400 in an HST lane. Clap on Clap off &*#%!@>&.. NO CARRIER Clap on! (clap, clap) Clap off! (clap@#&$NO CARRIER Coming to a TV soon... "Days of our Modems". Common BBS talk: FUWOTD - Fed up with off-topic discussion. Complaints? Dial 1-900-CRY-BABY. ($349/min) CompuCrumb SPUDModem Detected; System hanging up now... Confidence is telling someone how to use his Twit Filter. CONFLICT: Answering the E-mail..vs.. Doing the housework CONFLICT: Answering the mail...Doing the housework Confuse People: Quote from the wrong message Congratulations! You are the one--millionth user to log into our system. Congratulations! You have now used up another 250 hours of CPU time. CONNECT 110?!? Help! I'm in s l o w m o t i o n !! Current Protocol: None Selected Curses! Hayes-ed again!! Cut the abusers....cut the abusers...! Leave the thread! Danger, @N@! Off-topic messages! Danger! Darn my hn i s ns Death is just nature's way of saying $%^& NO CARRIER! Definition of a SysGod : Lord of the Files Dial 1-BANG-OPTUS Dialing long distance wears me out Did you really understand that message? Did you say MNP means Modem Needs Pizza? Digital communications, it makes my digit hurt. Disatisfied with BBS performance? Hit to improve it. DISK CRASH BBS - 360K ONLINE Do cellular phones cause reckless dialing? DO I need a modem for each phone line? Do not bother to reply. You have been twitted. Do your good deed for the day, Bribe a sysop. ;) Don't argue with he who uploades REPs by the megabyte. Don't point at me, get your own damn BBS. Don't stop posting, a good laugh breaks up my day nicely Don't you DARE touch that ignore button!!!!!!! Drop a conference??? are you kidding or what? Drop your carrier ... we have you surrounded! DSZ port 13 speed 300 ha ha he he rz -ZZZZzzzzzz... DSZ Super8k Xmodem-The good,the bad &the ugly Eat when hungry, drink when thirsty, hack whenever Echo Mail is my life... Oh ghod, somebody shoot me! EchoMindlesslyViolentSociopath. EchoNetics: The power of electronic brain control. EchoVisciousSociopath. Email - in one eye, out the other... Error finding COLDBEER.CAN Sysop not loaded! Every little BYTE helps Every thread needs a needle EZ come ... EZ go SLMR come... SLMR stays! Faster, Cheaper, More Efficient - Modems or Wives Fido has been a good dog. He's been bringing me messages. Fido hungry. Fido eat messages. Bad Fido... Fido must be sick. Its nodes are stopped up! Fido! Get off the furniture! How many times... Fido's been a bad doggy again... Naughty Fido.. FIDO: Frequently Intermittent Dog Offerings Fidonet Flamers have uncontrolled vowel movements... FidoNet....Have message, will eat.. Fidonet: Those dogs howling at each other in 101 Dalmations. Fold and tear here. Tape closed before mailing. --- For next message hold ALT and CTL and "." on number pad... For sincere personal advice, page your SysOp at 3 A.M. For those who choose to BBS with the very best. Friends don't let friends drink and post. Friends don't let friends use Discovery 80. Friends don't let friends use XMODEM! Gasp, someone else got thru the busy signal! Get a USR It leaves the others behind. GETTING BEHIND? OFF Top... oh, yes, I see what you mean... Go ahead, make my day, Just touch my MODEM! Going where no reader has ever gone before! Gotta hide the phone bill from my wife. GROWL the SNORT GRUMBLE possessed GRRRRRR bbs ROOAARRR! Guard! Guard! Get this hacker off my board. Guns don't kill people, off-line readers do. Guts: Putting the name "SYSOP" in your twit filter. Guts: Putting "Sysop" in your twit filter..... Hack, hack, hack, hack, eat, sleep. Hack, Hack... Happiness is a warm modem. Happy nodes to you ... till we echo again. Hark! What email from yonder modem breaks? Hark! What mail from yonder modem breaks? Has this conference been sprinkled????? Have you hugged your modem today? Have you tried Rogane or Minoxadi--*$&@### NO HAIRIER He said "ENQ?". "NAK!", she replied. He's got Blue Wave fever and it's spreading through the message bases! Heads, up Boise! Incoming spuds! Hello, I'm David Duke, GO TO HELL! )^*&!@ NO KKKARRIER! Help It's my modem. She don't wanna work no more! Help reduce junk mail. Send personal messages Help--I'm being held captive by my modem! Here I sit in a tizzy; all my favorite Boards are busy! here! I have first amendent righ(@#$!9*&^ NO CARRIER Hey Captain, I just created a black hole -=p!%$/ NO CRUSHER! Hey! Don't pick up that Telephon0/aL{a}o+ NO CARRIER Hey! Don't shoot that postal worker NO CARRIER! Hey! Watch out for that bottle-- &#&$#@%&& NO PERRIER Hey! Watch out for that census taker--%$#^&& NO QUERIER High message: 943432. Message you last read: 59. Homework time limit exceeded. Auto logon in effect. HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS A NEW USER? How's hacking, chiphead? Huh? What? Am I on-line? I *know* the phone bill's high-That's why I need a faster modem ;> I am so mind-numbingly depressed ($E1&O~ NO MERRIER! I am the terror that posts in the night. I BBS because no one can read my handwriting. I bought an internal modem, but I can't swallow it. I can't hear you over all this line noise! I Come In Peace, Take Me To Your Modem. I compacted my editor but my messages are no smaller? I Don't do drugs - Echos are my escape from reality I Don't have a life, I have a BBS... I don't have a REAL life - I'm a BBS addict! I dont know how your stupid message got past my twit filter. I got a french modem! $%*()@!@#%$^$%#$*$ PAS DE CARRIER I got a phone bill, now I need a better job. I hAtE wHeN pEoPlE tYpE lIkE tHiS... iT gIvEs Me A HeAdAcHe!!! I have a dream... "Transfer completed (100,000 CPS)..." I keep sending messages to all, but all never answers. I know this is off-topic, but... I modem down, but dey grew back. I now have time for a QWKie I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation. I only started a BBS to save on the phone bill I put "ALL" in my twit filter. Nobody sends me mail anymore. I should have BBSed all night... I sure do love those BBS's. I think we're supposed to *read* the messages... heh heh heh. I twitted everyone when I went MO. I twitted myself, keeps things impersonal. I twitted myself, so all my mail is addressed to All or Occupant. I use Kermit for file transfers but my files end up green. I used to have money in the bank, now I have a BBS I wanted a manly mail reader... I got a silly one I was BSer long before I became a BBSer! I'd rather ride the Wave than wallow in QWKsand! I'll byte your bits if you'll nybble my words I'll call you back, my call-waiting's beeping! I'll put you in my twit filter if you'll put me in yours. I'm a modemer and I'm OK, I post all night and I sleep all day. I'm coming Dear, I only have 437 more messages to read! I'm NOT addicted. I just use the modem all the time. I'm not off-topic, I'm just on a different topic! I'm not off-topic. I'm on a different topic. I've dialed and I can't hang up! if (line[0] == 0x01) twit(@FN@ @LN@); if exist STTNG.TAG twitflt @TFName@TLName If I had a twit filter, how could I read messages from me? If I used the twit filter, I'd be the only one posting here. If I'm in your twit filter then you haven't read this. If there ain't no BBS in Heaven, I ain't going!! If there are no BBS's in Heaven, then it isn't Heaven! If this is an echo, how come we don't hear it? If you can read this you have a modem. If you can't beat the message, beat the messenger. Imagine no BBS's. I wonder if you can? In a minute, Honey... Just one more message! ... Honey?? In a VERY weak moment, I started a BBS. In Case of Fire, Log off Promptly In search for the perfect comm program... Incoming Exocet! Antimissile system not w-%&!@ NO CARRIER! Insufficient time remaining to download. Pull hair (Y/N) Is FIDO a dog? Is HST faster than the Concord? Is it just me, or is 9600 not as fast as it used to be? Is it magic...? No, it's Silly Little Mail Reader! Is that my phone bill or the national debt!? ISDN: Incompatible Systems Designed Not-to-work Isn't this the "Lesbian mercernary pro-life biker nuns on acid" conference? It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a It's only a hobby, duhh, only a hobby, duhh, only a... It's only modem sex,dear, I promise it won't hurt.... Judge Stone does not preside over this trial. *&^% NO HARRY-HERE Listen Just a moment.. I have another call.. Just about Anything is considered to be "on topic" on This Board! Just say NO to single-menu BBS software! Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the Taglines echo, Let me know right away if you don't get this message. Let's Play Mail Tag......You're it. Let's see, what's the command? Alt-H? NO CARRIER Ah Shi. Life is too short to learn Z-Modem ! Life is too short to learn Z-Modem parameters! Line noise provided by ASIO's BBS monitoring service. Line noise provided by Telecom! Line noise? What fh=.hElL is.LinS nfise? List(en)ing by phone... Lizzie Borden.... America's FIRST hacker! Line nois@$e?? What line noise?? Look out for that pit bull !@$#%# NO DERRIERE! Lookout World! The Modem is Ringing! LUCIFERnet raising HEll coast to coast! Mail junkie and offline reader pimp! Mail packet: Dehydrated letters, just add computer! Mama's Don't let your babies grow up to be Sysop's Man, that thunder sounds clo##! &^###NO CARRIER Message 1 of 1653489. Message Base Of The Living Dead. Message contents may settle during mailing\:...:/ Message Flamers have uncontrolled vowel movements... MODEM - Money OweD to tElecoM MODEM - Monumentally Overpriced Data Eating Machine. Modem owners do it online! Modem Police...we clocked you at over 1600 cps. Modem sex begins with a handshake. Modem.... A deterrent to phone solicitors. Modem: A great deterrent to phone solicitors Modem: Device to simulate sound of disconnected telephone MODEM? I've been calling this BBS with a Tarot deck and a spoon! Modemo Ergo Dingbats Modems are G-R-R-R-R-REAT!!! Modems are proof that people enjoy torturing themsevles Modems are too slow, and life is too short. [-dd-] Modems.....reach out and BYTE someone! Modems...MOdulator DEModulator...MOney owDEd to Ma bell! Mom said:"If you can't post something smart, post lots." More stuff that's older than any computer getting this conference... My computer is sick. I think my modem is a carrier. My computer's sick. I think my modem is a carrier. My epitaph: Sysop not buried here. Leave feedback instead? My husband says either he goes or my echo mail goes-I'm gonna miss him My life is starting to interfere with my mail reading! My message above. Your response here ____________. My twit file runneth over. My twit filter just twitted me! My Twit filter just twitted You. NAK NAK, "Who's There?" #@#^#$%#(#@^ NO CARRIER Neither rain or snow or l?ne noise.. Net mail, now where did my opener go.. Netmail spanking is not fun... Never argue with a dragon, or a sysop. Never underestimate the power of "Modem Addictus"! New Hayes AT command: AT ET = Phone Home. New Mail not found. Start whine-pout sequence? (Y/N) Next time, when all else fails, read the ENTIRE message, dimwit. No abusive language in this message, so a reply is expected. NO CARRIER .... Oh well, I didn't want to land anyway ! No mail? Give fido a laxitive. No tag: user twitted. No wonder I never get any calls: Every time I call myself its busy! No! Not the chocolate-ripple! #*%&&& NO DERRIERE No! Some people collect mail packets? Really? No, Bi-modem doesn't mean your modem is gay. Not another NAK NAK joke, Please! Not enough mail??? Here, let me help. Not tonight, dear. I have a modem. Note: Virus in message has been passed to your system. Now this is a Serious Topic Of Discussion! Any Takers??? Nyehh ... =my= finger has an Austel approval sticker!! :) O Mighty Oracle, tell me: how much wood %*!&~ NO GROVELER Of COURSE I'm on topic. (Which echo is this?) Of course I'm running Windows#d+'+ NO CARRIER Off-topic and DAMN PROUD Officila BbS of peo ple whocant' type alll that wlel/ Offline 135 ... is offline, the Wave killed it! Oh no! The condom is leaki^&#o@%&&& NO BARRIER Oh where oh where has that FIDO dog gone, oh where oh where... OK Dear, I'll turn it off 'IN JUST A MINUTE' [sigh] Okay - right after this one we're BACK to the TOPIC! Okay Okay - right after this one we're BACK to the TOPIC! Okay, the message is over. Why are you still here? Old BBSers don't die, they just drop their carrier. On this BBS, we recycle all of our bytes, bit by bit. once i add stealth technology to my HST! One of the few BBSes with a subwoofer. Online again? When do you sleep?... ONLINE? Hit for a quick I.Q. Test! Open mouth, insert foot, echo internationally. Phone sex? Nah. Ma Bell is a little past Playmate age. Phoneco.sys corrupted - recommend competitive market Please leave your message after the the dial tone. Please return sysop to original upright position. Please Tell Me if you Don't Get This Message Portions of this message have been pre-recorded. Press ALT-H to post disagreement with this message... Prodigal - Wasteful. Worthless. Prodigy - Hmmm! Quote everything! There are people out there that HATE that! QWaK! QWak! SPLASH! Another QWaKer washed out by the Wave. QWK? I don't need no stinkin' QWK packet! RC> SF> GP> WD> KF> JP> MM> BG> JH> MF> stop quoting this Real hackers never make typso. Real hackers' method: COPY CON: PROGRAM.EXE Really honey, just ONE more message..... Remain seated until this message comes to a complete stop. Remind me never to put you in my twit filter! Replies to off topic messages are off topic as well. Ride the Wave! ROBONAP- sleeps for you while you are online. Romulan warbird decloaking sir... /o[#+bO NO CARRIER Running a BBS is best left to those committed..to an asylum! Rush Limbaugh is an obnoxious twit. I know, he's at all the meetings. Save gas: Commute by modem Save trees - do everything online Scotty, HURRY! Beam me u|UdU{++eVR% AWN u#c(&NO CARRIER Shipping line closes down! @#$|faw\F NO FERRIER Sitting here with my BUFFER open!!! Skeptical? Eat this message now. So many BBSs, so little time! So many bytes, so few cps. So many echos, so little time! So many messages ... So little time left. So many messages, So little time! So wadda ya' want for 10,395 bucks, buddy? A 486i? Speaking of Talk Show Hosts, Rush says, ^&*(NO LARRIER! Stamp out QUOTERS' DISEASE! Start a download. Get a beer. Multitasking. Stop picking your nose and go to the next message. Stop scratching your ass and go to the next message. Stop spelling misteaks: use error correcting modems. Sysop Justification No.1: Because I'm the Sysop; that's why! Sysop's have more fun than ##%@