¡Premiere [#1]
*o*Data/FSCP/Premiere.Iff
Moya and I had been captives for far too many cycles. The Peacekeepers had
harnessed Moya with a Control Collar and modified her into a prison transport.
But its last three prisoners - Luxan warrior Ka D'Argo, Delvian priest Pa'u
Zotoh Zhaan, and deposed Dominar of the Hynerian Empire Rygel the Sixteenth -
managed to escape their cells and take over Moya. Of course, the Peacekeepers
sent many Prowlers - their attack fighters - after Moya, but D'Argo and Zhaan
managed to release Moya's Control Collar so we could Starburst to safety
before the Prowlers could destroy us.

During our escape, we found ourselves with two unwitting passengers. One is
Officer Aeryn Sun, a Peacekeeper captured during the battle. The other is
John Crichton, of an unknown species called "human," whose small, primitive
spacecraft arrived mysteriously in mid-battle; he claims a mysterious
"wormhole" phenomenon brought him here from his home planet.

To flee from the Prowlers, we had to Starburst before Moya was quite
ready... and I'm sorry to say I lost track of our position. We came out of
Starburst somewhere in the Uncharted Territories and we're still trying to
determine a way back.

We did, however, manage to locate a Commerce Planet where we could obtain
supplies to repair Moya's battle damage. But we quickly discovered that
Captain Bialar Crais had taken his Peacekeeper Command Carrier into the
Uncharted Territories to recapture Moya - and to exact revenge upon Crichton
for accidentally causing the death of Crais' brother during the chaos of the
battle. Crais, in a confrontation with Crichton, D'Argo, and Officer Sun on
the Commerce Planet, also pronounced Officer Sun "irreversibly contaminated"
by her extended contact with the alien prisoners and condemned her to death
along with Crichton and the others.

Crichton, D'Argo, and Officer Sun evaded capture and returned to Moya. But
before we could Starburst again, we found ourselves facing the Command
Carriers deadly Frag Cannons with not even a Defence Screen to protect us...
¡Throne For A Loss [#2]
*o*Data/FSCP/Throne.Iff
Rygel had invited some Tavleks aboard to sell them transportation of their
cargo, and he wanted to impress them with his royal grandeur. He asked me if
he could borrow a crystalline component of Moya's nervous system because it
resembled a large gem. Naturally I told him no - because that synaptic
processor controlled Moya's propulsion; without it, we couldn't even maintain
orbit for long. But Rygel went ahead and took it anyway, thinking he'd replace
it before I discovered it was missing.

Unfortunately, the Tavleks weren't peaceful traders at all, but
battle-scarred, renegade soldiers whose real business was seizing hostages for
ransom. They came aboard in attack mode, firing energy bolts from their
Gauntlets - powerful weapons that locked onto their forearms and pumped in
aggression-heightening drugs. Despite our best efforts, the Tavleks kidnapped
Rygel, not knowing that his claims of being "wealthy royalty" had been highly
exaggerated.

Naturally we were unable to pay Rygel's ransom, but we needed that crystal
back... so Crichton, Aeryn, and D'Argo went down to the Tavleks' planet to
attempt to locate and free Rygel. To help even the odds, they took a captured
Gauntlet with them... but when they attempted to use it, they discovered that
its drugs made them reckless, hyper-aggressive, and more dangerous to each
other than to the Tavleks...
¡Back And Back And Back To The Future [#3]
*o*Data/FSCP/Future.Iff
Moya encountered an enormous alien cruiser that was subatomically
disintegrating as we watched. All we could do was bring aboard a shuttle with
two survivors: Verell (an elderly scientist) and Matala (his female
assistant), who claimed they were in this remote sector researching deep space
gravitational fluctuations. Because Verell and Matala were Ilanics - genetic
cousins and long-time allies to D'Argo's race, the Luxans - D'Argo insisted we
transport them to their scheduled rendezvous point.

However, while rescuing Verell and Matala from their damaged shuttle, Crichton
was accidentally exposed to a mysterious force - and soon afterward found
himself experiencing mental "flash-forwards" of some extremely intimate
moments with Matala that felt very, very real! This did not sit well with
D'Argo, who found Matala attractive.

Crichton eventually realized he was getting unexpected glimpses of possible
future events - including the murders of Verell and D'Argo! He attempted to
avert those future tragedies by changing events in the present, but succeeded
only in creating worse and worse versions of the future... including his own
death... and the destruction of Moya!
¡I, E.T. [#4]
*o*Data/FSCP/IET.Iff
I thought I'd disabled all the Peacekeepers' foul tampering to Moya's systems.
I was wrong. Our recent excursion through part of the uncharted territories
revealed a Paddac Beacon inextricably bonded to Moya's neural nexus. To our
astonishment, this beacon had been automatically broadcasting a transmission
of our exact location to any Peacekeeper forces in the area!

With no quick way to disable this awful device, we immersed Moya in the swamps
of a nearby planet, muffling the homing signal and buying us time to extract
the beacon permanently.

While Zhaan and Rygel attempted the delicate and painful removal of the
mechanism, John, Aeryn, and D'Argo ventured out onto the planet in search of
some Clorium to act as an anaesthetic for the makeshift operation.

Unfortunately, the away party was not welcomed by the local populace. In fact,
they quickly forced to split up and run for their lives. Of the local
populace, only alone female named Lyneea seemed willing to help any of them.

Back on the ship, I did my best to keep Moya conscious. Between Rygel's inept
surgery and the gravitational pressure of her own immense weight, she was
already inexcruciating pain. If the search party didn't return with that
Clorium soon then Moya would surely die...
¡Exodus From Genesis [#5]
*o*Data/FSCP/Exodus.Iff
To evade a searching Marauder scout ship from Crais' Command Carrier, Moya hid
behind a cloud of what appeared to be asteroid debris. We didn't find out
until too late that the "debris" was actually a swarm of alien lifeforms -
some of which invaded Moya.

These lifeforms, called "Draks," possessed the ability to form replicants of
Crichton, D'Argo, Aeryn, and Zhaan - physically identical duplicates who
quickly began to take over Moya for their own purposes. They adjusted Moya's
environmental controls so that the temperature rose to a level dangerous to
Aeryn; her species is unusually sensitive to heat. Aeryn soon became weak and
delirious - early symptoms of the Sebacean "Living Death," a type of brain
fever that leads to a permanent coma. Feeling herself slipping away, Aeryn
made Crichton promise to kill her if she indeed succumbed to the Living
Death...

When we discovered that the Draks had sealed off a deep chamber of Moya, we
sent a most reluctant Rygel through the vents to reconnoitre. Rygel found, to
our amazement, that the Draks had come aboard Moya to create a warm nest so
that they could breed.

But it wasn't until a Drak "stung" Zhaan and took over her voice and body that
we could communicate with the Draks. Finding that the Draks meant us no
deliberate harm, Crichton tried to work out a truce with them. However, with
Moya's senses "blinded" by the Drak takeover, we had no way of knowing that
armed Peacekeeper Commandos from the Marauder scout ship had also boarded
Moya... and were killing every Drak replicant they could see.

The Drak Monarch inhabiting Zhaan was understandably furious that the
Commandos were murdering her children; she threatened to raise Moya's
temperature further and kill every non-Drak aboard. It took all Rygel's
negotiating skills to convince her that we were fighting a common enemy... and
all Crichton's cleverness and bravery to deal with the invading Commandos...
¡Thank God It's Friday, Again [#6]
*o*Data/FSCP/Friday.Iff
D'Argo, in a typically Luxan hyper-rage, stormed down to the sun-baked planet
Skykar where the populations sole activity was harvesting Tannot roots. After
giving him ample time to cool off, the others went after him. Strangely
enough, D'Argo had decided he wanted to remain on Skykar as a simple labourer.
Considering the Luxans normal temperament, Crichton and Zhaan instantly
sensed that something was wrong.

Before they could investigate further, however, the perpetually foraging Rygel
ingested large quantities of Tannot root which somehow converted all the
Hynerians bodily fluids into deadly explosives. Aeryn, suffering from the
Skykarian heat, was forced to accompany Rygel back to Moya where she and I
worked on defusing the Hynerians condition. As if his foul secretions weren't
already bad enough, now Rygel's every pore had become potentially damaging to
Moya's systems!

Crichton continued to investigate D'Argo's strange behaviour and soon
discovered that the Skykarians were nearly all drone-like automatons. With the
help of a local woman named Tanga and her friends, Crichton learned of the
adverse effects that the Tannot root was having on D'Argo, Zhaan, and everyone
else on the planet. But what could Crichton do when he was just one human on
an entire world of mindless labourers? And to make matters worse, Volmae, the
Skykarian leader, had big plans of her own for Moya and her vast cargo
holds...
¡PK Tech Girl [#7]
*o*Data/FSCP/PkTech.Iff
We discovered the Zelbinion, a Peacekeeper Command Carrier, floating dead in
space... decimated long ago by unknown attackers. Finding the Zelbinion had a
devastating effect on Rygel, as it was the first ship he was imprisoned upon -
and he had been tortured there by the sadistic Captain Durka.

Aboard the Zelbinion was Gilina, a Peacekeeper technician sent by Captain
Crais to salvage whatever could be salvaged. Gilina, a Sebacean like Aeryn
(but without Aeryn's military training), soon became attracted to Crichton,
and vice versa as well... causing conflict with Aeryn.

But others were also interested in the Zelbinion; it and Moya came under
attack by the violent Sheyangs, a scavenger species. Without weapons to defend
herself, Moya was helpless - so D'Argo, with Zhaan's help, had to overcome his
insecurities and bluff the Sheyangs to stall for time. Our only hope for
survival was for Crichton and Gilina to get the Zelbinions damaged Defence
Screen operational - a task that became even more difficult when a Sheyang
managed to board the Zelbinion to hunt them down...
¡That Old Black Magic [#8]
*o*Data/FSCP/Magic.Iff
I suppose it was Rygel who started all this when he came down with a terrible
case of the Klendian flu. The regrettable quantity of the Hynerians mucus,
coupled with his rather insistent demands for relief, were all the
encouragement we needed to detour to this out of the way market in search of a
remedy. Or, rather, they went to the market, the rest of the crew, that is,
leaving me on Moya to monitor the suffering Rygel.

In that exotic bazaar, John Crichton encountered a mysterious fellow who
seemed to have vast knowledge of the details of Crichton's past. Poor
Crichton, with renewed hope of reaching his homeworld, I suppose, allowed this
fellow to introduce him to his master, Haloth, who promised to make this
renewed hope a reality. Generosity in the uncharted territories is a rare
quality, however, and unfortunately this offer was far less generous than it
seemed. As soon as Crichton moved to enter Haloth's residence, his spirit was
literally torn from his body and captured inside Haloth's great hall, leaving
Crichton's body outside, lifeless and alone.

The crew, myself included, grew very concerned for John Crichton. Seeking the
means to help him, Zhaan made contact with a local shaman named Liko who
explained that Crichton's condition was due to the work of the evil sorcerer
Maldis, known to feed upon the pain and death of others. Using his vile magic,
Maldis had managed to take over the entire planet and now had his sights set
on all of us.

For John Crichton, it was even worse. Somehow, Maldis had managed to capture
both Crichton and his sworn enemy, Peacekeeper Captain Crais, and now, for his
own amusement, Maldis pit the rivals' souls against one another in a perverse
deadly game.

Meanwhile, Zhaan and Liko agreed to combine their powers in an effort to
overthrow Maldis. Liko's style of training, however, centred around unlocking
a side of Zhaan that could prove to be more dangerous than Maldis himself.
While Crichton fought for his life against both Maldis and Crais, Zhaan, in an
effort to help him, was forced to contend with her own dark nature.
¡DNA Mad Scientist [#9]
*o*Data/FSCP/DNA.Iff
NamTar's genetic experiments were discussed only in hushed tones by those who
inhabited the seedier corners of the uncharted territories. His work was
reputed to be as dangerous as it was brilliant. Had I known just how
dangerous, however, I would never have agreed to our pilgrimage to his
laboratories.

NamTar and his assistant Kornata extracted quadra helix samples from D'Argo,
Zhaan, Rygel, and Crichton. He claimed he could use these samples to provide
star charts leading to their respective home worlds. They were overwhelmed. He
was offering them their hearts' desire. But, alas, not without a steep price
to pay.

In exchange for these maps, NamTar required one of my four arms as payment.
Zhaan, D'Argo, and Rygel readily agreed and, despite my extreme protests,
brutally severed my arm from my body. It will... grow back. Eventually.

Although I was forced to pay the price, the goods received were not all they
were promised to be. Instead of providing coordinates to Zhaan's, D'Argo's and
Rygel's homes (Crichton's world was beyond even NamTar's reach), NamTar's data
crystal overwhelmed Moya information systems, seemingly by design.

The only hope of retaining any data was to excise all but a single star chart,
permanently erasing the information pointing to the other two home worlds. My
three surgeons, it seemed, had some further "carving" ahead of them, only now
the knives were pointed at one another.

NamTar's true motives quickly surfaced. He wanted to incorporate my races
innate multi-tasking abilities into himself. In order to assimilate these
traits, however, he needed a host body to act as intermediary. He tricked
Aeryn Sun into becoming this intermediary, injecting her with my stolen genes,
causing her to undergo a radical and potentially fatal metamorphosis.

While Crichton pleaded with Kornata to help him stop this insidious
experiment, the others raged around Moya - each professing their sole right to
be returned home. These three, caught up in their own selfish schemes,
appeared ready to abandon Officer Sun to the mercy of NamTar's unnatural
genetics. Facing enemies without and within, our future together as pilot,
ship and crew seemed destined to end tragically...
¡They've Got A Secret [#10]
*o*Data/FSCP/Secret.Iff
Even when one escapes the Peacekeepers (and one almost never does), they still
find ways to make things difficult. One recent systems sweep designed to
ferret out any lingering PK devices was intended to protect us from harm but,
as is often the case, this seemingly routine task precipitated some rather
extreme and unforeseen consequences.

While surveying Tier 21, D'Argo stumbled across a Peacekeeper retaining
shield. In his haste to remove the offending object, the Luxan destroyed the
shield and was blown out into space by the ensuing explosion.

By the time we got him back on board, D'Argo had fallen into a state of
interna-thermia. Though Zhaan managed to revive him, the Luxans continued to
suffer from perceptual hallucinations. Somehow, he had become convinced that
Rygel, Zhaan, and Crichton were actually his family members - Jothee, Lo'Laan,
and Macton - from his own veiled past.

As if that wasn't concern enough, I was having perception problems of my own.
The explosion had released an unidentified bio-mechanoid substance into Moya's
body that caused uncontrollable system-wide shut downs. Moreover, my own body
was not immune to the malfunctions. Cut off from my nutrients, I grew unable
to perform my normal duties and soon lost consciousness entirely.

Aeryn Sun took my place and was surprisingly successful at interfacing with
Moya considering her own Sebacean physiognomy. But despite her valiant
efforts, all of Moya's systems continued to falter. With the air rapidly
thinning, a delusional D'Argo reliving his family tragedies, me still
unconscious and even the DRDs working against us, the situation was
desperate. The rest of the crew needed to discover the cause of the
malfunctions and get Moya's life support systems on-line before our living
vessel became our drifting tomb.
¡Till The Blood Runs Clear [#11]
*o*Data/FSCP/Blood.Iff
Crichton recently attempted to harness the unique gravitational forces
produced by large solar flares to sling-shot his vessel, a technologically
refitted Farscape One, into a proto-wormhole. But the wormhole proved
unstable, causing a dangerous plasma leak aboard his ship.

Not wanting to abandon Farscape One and the wormhole data it had recorded,
John and Aeryn landed the damaged ship on a nearby planet at the Dam-Ba-Da
Depot to enlist the services of a mechanic named Furlow.

Anxious to put more distance between himself and our Peacekeeper pursuers,
D'Argo grew ever more furious over the unanticipated delay. Zhaan, normally
quite adept at calming the Luxan down, unfortunately had sequestered herself
away to bask privately in the surplus solar radiation - radiation which
elicited in her Delvian metabolism some rather intense photogasms.

On the planet, Crichton and Aeryn quickly noticed a Peacekeeper Beacon
broadcasting bounties for the capture of D'Argo, Zhaan and Rygel. Others
noticed it too, including two Vorcarion Blood-Trackers named Rorf and Rorg who
were determined to claim the reward. In order to throw them off, Crichton
pretended to be a bounty hunter himself. His aggressive bravado triggered a
submissive reaction in the feral Vorcarions, allowing him to assume the
tenuous role of lead hunter, provided he could keep up the facade.

His plan would have worked had D'Argo, in his impatience, not charged down
planet-side. The Blood-Trackers instantly caught the Luxans scent and
captured him. Now Crichton was compelled to join in the torture of D'Argo,
lest his deception be exposed and he himself be taken captive.

Zhaan, though sluggish from her solar-induced pleasure, followed D'Argo down
to the Depot. While the Blood-Trackers hounded her, Aeryn uncovered yet
another bounty hunter of a species unknown to us. During their ensuing
confrontation, Aeryn was blinded.

With more pursuers appearing at every turn, the crew needed to board Moya and
slip away from Dam-Ba-Da Depot as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, none of
them were in any state to make a break for it. Unless someone figured out a
way to evade these bounty hunters for good, we seemed destined to fall back
into the hands of the Peacekeepers once again.
¡The Flax [#12]
*o*Data/FSCP/Flax.Iff
As it is in the entire crews best interests that Crichton expand his limited
knowledge and become more self-sufficient, Aeryn endeavoured to teach the
Human some basic piloting techniques using Moya's Transport Pod. We chose a
remote system free of any apparent obstacles for Crichton's first flight
lesson. However, the Uncharted Territories teem with hidden predators who
regularly apprehend even highly accomplished pilots. And Crichton, while a
most eager student, could not have been prepared to handle the Flax.

Zenetan pirates in control of this region cast the Flax an enormous and
undetectable magna drift mesh, throughout the sector and were proceeding to
loot the vessels netted therein. We learned all this from a renegade Zenetan
named Staanz. No longer allied with the pirates, Staanz had become a
self-styled "garbologist," following the space currents and collecting what
other ships threw away.

Hoping for a big reward, Staanz agreed to guide D'Argo through the Flax to
recover our trapped Transport Pod and stranded crewmates. But when D'Argo
learned there was also a Luxan Assault Piercer snared in the mesh and due to
be melted down for scrap within minutes, he altered the rescue plans and set a
new course for the vessel. The Luxan hoped he might find map fibres aboard
that vessel which could finally lead him home, although aware that the delay
could mean life or death for Aeryn and Crichton.

Unfortunately, Staanz was not quite the navigator he claimed to be and his
ship too fell prey to the Flax.

The situation was hardly better aboard the Transport Pod. The atmospherics
system had malfunctioned, filling the interior with pure oxygen. In such an
environment, the smallest spark or flare from a damaged console would ignite
the ship and incinerate all inside it. Venting the oxygen and repairing the
necessary lines was the obvious plan - except that the damage had left Aeryn
and Crichton with only one working space suit.

As if that were not bad enough, the pirate commander Kcrackic located Moya and
boarded her in search of the renegade. It was left to Zhaan and Rygel to
distract him so that D'Argo and Staanz could free themselves from the Flax and
rescue Aeryn and Crichton... that is, if they could survive long enough to be
rescued.
¡Rhapsody In Blue [#13]
*o*Data/FSCP/Rhapsody.Iff
Recently, the entire crew experienced strange dreams invoking emotional bonds
from their past lives. Even Moya herself was not immune, imagining she heard
the distress cry of another pregnant Leviathan and, without any warning,
setting off in starburst to her rescue.

Upon arrival, however, we discovered no pregnant Leviathan. We had in fact all
been deceived by a small collection of Zhaan's people; Delvian missionaries
who had sequestered themselves on a remote planetoid which they dubbed the
"New Moon of Delvia".

Fleeing their home to follow the spiritual teachings of their sage Tuzak, this
isolated group sought out the wisdom and strength to oppose the corrupt
Delvian regime who, with the aid of the Peacekeepers, had seized control back
on Delvia.

But something went wrong in the process. Trying to learn too much too fast,
these missionaries lacked the discipline needed to handle their new-found
power. Tuzak was the first to succumb to his dark impulses, going mad. Now the
rest, led by his ambitious daughter Tahleen, were in danger of falling prey to
that same fate.

Unlike her fellow priests, Zhaan had taught herself a way to surrender to her
sinister side while still maintaining her sanity. Desperate to learn this
talent from her, Tahleen convinced Zhaan to join her in "Unity," a bond where
their souls would merge and real knowledge could be shared.

Sharing was not Tahleen's style though. She betrayed Zhaan, stealing more
knowledge than our crewmate was willing to give. Zhaan managed to break the
Unity, but not before Tahleen had ripped the ability to manage the dark
impulses from her soul. Poor Zhaan, still adjusting from her difficult
encounter with Maldis, was now exposed to all the anger that she had so
recently struggled to quell.

The others sensed something was wrong but before they could help two of
Tahleen's students, Lorana and Hasko, used their powers to manipulate them,
clouding the crews thoughts with twisted hallucinations. Crichton fought
especially valiantly, but eventually succumbed as Lorana convinced him that
she was in fact his last earthly love, Alexandra.

Unless the others could break out of their own inner struggles and come to her
aid, Zhaan seemed lost, destined either to fall prey to Tahleen's power hungry
appetite or to her own reawakened thirst for vengeance.
¡Jeremiah Crichton [#14]
*o*Data/FSCP/Jeremiah.Iff
Moya's pregnancy has affected us all. The Leviathans priorities now revolve
around her growing child, resulting in unusual "situations" arising without
warning. The latest situation found Moya decompensating for a severe pressure
build-up in her amnexus system by initiating a sudden starburst.
Unfortunately, Crichton had just left Moya in anger and inadvertently
abandoned him and his poorly equipped vessel, Farscape One, deep in the
Uncharted Territories.

Though it took a quarter of a cycle, we eventually traced Crichton to the
planet Acquara. That he had managed to find a hospitable planet in such a
remote area speaks highly of the Humans ingenuity. In fact, during our search
for him, I have noticed that the entire crew has begun to hold Crichton in
higher regard.

When D'Argo and Rygel shuttled to the surface, they were anxious to be
reunited with our missing crew mate and resume our journeys. They found that,
while stranded, Crichton had befriended the local population and even caught
the eye of Lashala, the daughter of the Acquarian ruler Kato-Re.
Unfortunately, they also discovered that something on the planet was draining
all energy from their mechanical devices. The Transport Pod was disabled,
their weapons were useless, and all communications with Moya were cut off.

As Zhaan and Aeryn tried to devise a means of helping those trapped
planet-side, Crichton was unwittingly drawn into a romantic rivalry with an
Acquarian named Rokon for the hand of Lashala. Rokon's mother Neera was
convinced that Crichton wanted to become ruler of Acquara, a fate she desired
for her own son. Neera persuaded many of her people that Crichton was a real
threat to them.

As tensions rose, the Acquarians uncovered Rygel, who'd thus far been hiding
in fear. The Hynerian resembled their legendary saviour who they'd worshipped
for generations. They believed this saviour was meant to "rise up and lead
them into the light".

Rygel, while being the deposed ruler of the Hynerian Empire, was no mystical
saviour. But unless he could give the Acquarians what they were expecting,
they would brand him a false god and kill him along with Crichton and D'Argo.
¡Durka Returns [#15]
*o*Data/FSCP/Durka.Iff
Each day we learn more about life aboard a pregnant Leviathan, though what we
still don't know could fill the Uncharted Territories. For example, Moya has
of late developed a tendency to starburst at unexpected and inopportune times,
usually in response to a threat to her pregnancy of which only she is aware.

Upon emerging from one such unplanned starburst, we inadvertently collided
with and damaged a Nebari transport. Feeling obliged to repair the ship, Moya
and I brought it aboard. Little did we know what dangers the occupants of that
vessel would pose.

The transport carried three in total: a Nebari official named Salis, a Nebari
criminal named Chiana, and the infamous Peacekeeper Captain Selto Durka. It
was Durka who had tortured Rygel for many cycles aboard the Command Carrier
Zelbinion. When we found the remains of that vessel floating in space, Rygel
was relieved to discover what we thought was Durka's dead body on board.

Evidently the Peacekeeper faked his own death and fled the Zelbinion, only to
have his escape pod apprehended by the attacking Nebari vessel.

The Nebari are a species who prize conformity and discipline above all else.
They mentally cleansed Captain Durka in a process which they claimed had
entirely eliminated his violent tendencies. Chiana was destined for similar
reconditioning although her crime, at least by her own account, was that she
was too much of a nonconformist for the Nebaris serene society.

Recalling the cycles of torture he suffered at Durka's hands, Rygel could not
contain his anger and attempted to kill the Peacekeeper with a crude explosive
device. The bomb was too poorly constructed to kill but the ensuing explosion
shook loose the Nebari conditioning, giving free reign to the Captains
sadistic side.

Amidst the chaos, Chiana escaped from her holding cell. The young thief was
desperate to find the means to leave Moya and escape from the Nebari ship en
route to retrieve her, Salis and Durka. When John discovered Salis' lifeless
body in a corridor, no one was certain whether it was Durka or Chiana who had
committed the murder.

Before long, Durka had captured Aeryn and Rygel, bypassed all of my synaptic
bypasses and placed himself in control of most of Moya's systems. With a
madman at the helm, an unpredictable thief on the loose, a deadly Nebari
vessel headed our way and Moya's pregnancy limiting her ability to starburst,
the odds that any of us would live to see Moya's child born were long and
growing longer each minute.
¡A Human Reaction [#16]
*o*Data/FSCP/Reaction.Iff
The universe, in all its vastness, seems to be made up of only two types of
lifeforms: those who leave homes and sometimes return to them, and those -
like myself - who travel with our homes around us. All too well have I learned
how creatures, rendered homeless, can be driven to take desperate actions.
Still, when Moya came across a wormhole that appeared to lead to Crichton's
home world, Earth, it hardly seemed irrational for the human to seize this
best, possibly only chance of rejoining his species.

After a moment of hesitation, Crichton piloted the Farscape One into the
centre of the vortex, at which point we lost all contact with him. Seeing
the Human disappear into that unstable wormhole proved... difficult for the
crew. So when the small craft disappeared from Moya's sensors, Aeryn,
D'Argo, and Rygel elected to venture out in our transport pod in order to
take a closer look.

Meanwhile, Crichton's homecoming was not as joyous as he had hoped. Landing
on a landmass known as Australia, he was immediately picked up and detained
by a team led by former associates, Wilson and Cobb.

They distrusted Crichton for initially opening the wormhole (which had
seemingly never closed) on his maiden voyage, questioning the motives behind
his return as well as his very identity. The unexpected arrival of a transport
containing three "alien" friends only caused their suspicions to worsen.

Even with the help of his father Jack, Crichton proved unable to prevent the
humans from drugging and imprisoning Rygel, D'Argo, and Aeryn. Suddenly,
Crichton's idyllic dream of rediscovering Earth had evolved into a waking
nightmare in which nothing less than his friends' very lives were at stake.
¡Through The Looking Glass [#17]
*o*Data/FSCP/Glass.Iff
As powerful as Moya is, without a crew she is in many ways quite vulnerable.
While the DRDs can attend to her basic needs, she is unable to, say, bargain
with Zenetan Pirates or outsmart hostile Peacekeepers without the help of a
resourceful crew. Beyond that, Moya and I both find great fulfilment in
serving others and would be remiss if left alone.

So when some of our crew recently contemplated leaving due to her temporarily
reduced performance parameters, the insinuation hurt Moya's pride. She was
anxious to prove her worth to them - too anxious, as things turned out.

In an effort to show that she could still protect us from capture Moya chose
to starburst immediately. This was unwise. The energy required to sustain her
growing child severely limited the output of Moya's power cells and the strain
of a full starburst was too much for the nurturing Leviathan. She ran out of
energy mid-starburst and crashed into... something.

In the chaos that followed the collision, Rygel, D'Argo, and Aeryn went
missing. While my sensors still detected them on board, we could find no trace
of them anywhere. During his search for our missing shipmates,

Crichton discovered the cause of this strange disparity. Moya had punctured
through the seam between space-time and was partially stuck in the space
between the dimensions of normal space.

I was somewhat familiar with the "Dimensional Schism" hypothesis, but never
imagined I would experience its jarringly real effects first-hand. Just as a
single beam of light can be divided into a spectrum of colours, Moya herself
had become fractured into four distinct dimensions. Our missing crew members
were not gone. They merely existed aboard the fractured elements of Moya
within these different dimensions.

And they were not alone. Some sort of creature was attempting to manifest in
each of these dimensions. As we tried to reverse Moya away from the rupture,
this creature became more and more agitated. Judging from the apparent
violence of its manifestations, this trans-dimensional entity was willing to
go to great, even fatal, lengths to prevent us from escaping. Yet with each
passing moment, Moya was splintering further apart. If the separate grew
complete, we would quite simply cease to exist.
¡A Bugs Life [#18]
*o*Data/FSCP/Bugs.Iff
Peacekeeper control has the regrettable ability to spread, like an infection,
to the remotest parts of the universe. Even the Uncharted Territories, though
incredibly vast, are no longer free of that foul races influence. A fact we
all discovered when a lone Peacekeeper vessel leaking fuel boarded Moya in the
middle of what we'd previously thought was deep space.

Posing as a Peacekeeper Captain, Crichton managed to form an uneasy alliance
with the four PK Commandos and discovered that they were en route to a secret
Peacekeeper base less than 20 arns away. Their leader, Larraq, needed to
deliver a mysterious crate to this base and proceeded to commandeer Moya from
"Captain" Crichton to travel the last leg of his journey.

The rest of us played along with the humans ruse; Aeryn, Chiana, and myself
posing as his subordinates, and D'Argo, Zhaan, and Rygel pretending to be his
prisoners. While Aeryn tried to glean more information from Larraq, Rygel and
Chiana's curiosity got the best of them and they secretly opened the PKs
crate. In doing so, they released an intelligent virus onto Moya that was
virtually undetectable and, in its current "single infection stage," could
take complete possession of another organism. But if this parasite was allowed
to gestate in a single host for even an arn, it could lay several million
spores and exponentially seize control of a whole galaxy.

The Peacekeeper scientists, no doubt, intended to modify the parasite and
produce a weapon capable of subjugating the entire universe. Within moments
the virus had transferred hosts several times and caused the deaths of two of
the four Marauders. It moved so quickly that none of us could be sure within
whom it was residing.

Larraq and Thonn, his second-in-command, were forced to accept help from
Crichton's "prisoners" in order to find and contain the virus. But, with no
way to trace the actual parasite everyone became a potential host and a
potential threat. With time running out, we had to devise a means to control
the virus before the virus itself gained control of us.
¡Nerve [#19]
*o*Data/FSCP/Nerve.Iff
Aeryn's stab wound, inflicted by the recently deceased Peacekeeper Larraq,
damaged her paraphoral nerve, resulting in the rapid deterioration of her
bodys toxin removal functions. A tissue graft from a genetically compatible
donor was the only possible cure but unless one could be found in less than
sixty arns, Officer Sun would die.

Since Aeryn's hope for survival lay in obtaining a tissue sample from another
Sebacean, we had no choice but to follow Larraq's former flight plan to a top
secret Peacekeeper outpost dubbed Gammak Base. With Moya hampered by her
pregnancy, this was not a prudent choice for the rest of us but prudence would
do little to save our shipmates life.

As Crichton and Chiana approached the lunar-base in Aeryn's Prowler, the rest
of us maintained a geo-synchronous orbit directly opposite Gammak Base,
keeping Moya hidden from their detection. Crichton bluffed his way past
Commander Tollona Javio and his lieutenant Heskon by posing as Larraq himself
while Chiana played the role of Larraq's personal "server".

Back on Moya, Aeryn's condition continued to worsen. In desperation, we
connected her directly with the Leviathan, letting the ships own immune
system flush what toxins it could from Officer Suns rapidly deteriorating
body.

While Crichton's ruse worked initially, he would surely have been discovered
if not for the efforts of Gilina, the PK Tech who John had "befriended" on the
Zelbinion. She was now stationed on Gammak Base and obtained a cloned
paraphoral tissue sample from their medical facility without attracting any
undue attention.

But before Crichton could return to Moya with the sample, he crossed paths
with Scorpius, a hybrid Sebacean scientist who detected the Humans unique
energy signature and had him seized as an imposter. Trapped in Scorpius' evil
Aurora Chair, Crichton suffered as the PK scientist and his assistant Niem
literally pulled memories from his mind. As this telepathic inquisition
revealed more and more (including scenes of the maniacal Captain Crais), John
realized that his very memories could betray the lives of Moya's entire crew.

With Chiana trying desperately to return to Moya with the tissue sample, John
struggled against Scorpius and his probing Aurora Chair - trying not to
remember Gilina, Aeryn, and the rest of us; the very things that were foremost
in his mind. One false thought could prove the end for us all.
¡The Hidden Memory [#20]
*o*Data/FSCP/Memory.Iff
While maintaining our geo-synchronous orbit opposite the PK Gammak Base, Moya
went into full labour rendering all her propulsion systems - including
starburst - effectively inoperative. Even if the Leviathan had been able to
move, Crichton was still Scorpius' prisoner in the base and no one in our crew
(except perhaps Dominar Rygel) was prepared to leave him at the mercy of that
hybrid Sebaceans memory-stealing Aurora Chair.

A weakened Aeryn, not fully recovered from her paraphoral nerve graft,
insisted on leading D'Argo and Zhaan in a rescue mission. Officer Sun
infiltrated the underground compound while the others fortified the surface,
preparing for their rapid escape.

The presence of Captain Crais on Gammak Base was not something any of us had
anticipated. Evidently, the PK Captain was summoned when Scorpius' torturous
mental probing of Crichton revealed Crais' vendetta against the Human. With
both Scorpius and Crais watching him, odds of rescuing Crichton seemed
especially low.

But with the PK Tech Gilina's ingenious manipulations of the Aurora Chair,
Scorpius came to suspect Captain Crais himself of harbouring hidden memories
and proceeded to turn his mental probes on the PK Captain. While Crais and
Scorpius preoccupied one another, Aeryn managed to free John and his cellmate
Stark from captivity.

As, Gilina continued to sabotage the bases systems, Moya was having severe
problems with her own birthing systems. The child had formed covered with
weapons; a feature no Leviathan had ever possessed. These armaments prevented
the baby from exiting the birthing canal normally. Unless Chiana could guide
it clear, the confused baby would begin blasting its way out.

When Scorpius realized that he'd been tricked, he sealed the base and began a
systematic search for Crichton. Trapped in the compound, the escapees needed
to find a way to the surface before the legions of PK guards found them. But
even if they somehow made it out, there was no guarantee that Moya would be
there upon their return. For despite Chiana's best efforts, our newborn
Leviathan was still trapped in the birthing canal, and now fully primed and
ready to open fire on its own terrified mother.
¡Bone To Be Wild [#21]
*o*Data/FSCP/Bone.Iff
While hiding in an asteroid field from the scans of Crais' Command Carrier,
Moya was forced to shut down nearly all her systems to avoid producing any
noticeable energy signatures. Though the PK Carrier seemed unable to detect
us amid the debris, we had no navigational aids with which to negotiate the
dense field ourselves. When Moya received a muted distress signal
originating on a small planetoid floating nearby we decided to respond
hoping that whoever sent the signal could lead us out of the asteroid field
and away from the Peacekeepers.

Crichton, D'Argo, Zhaan, and Aeryn elected to investigate. I requested that
Officer Sun stay behind, however, to use her knowledge of PK technology in
assisting Moya with the ships unusually strained bonding process with her
newborn child, a PK/Leviathan hybrid.

The investigating team discovered that the planetoid, which they dubbed the
Botany Asteroid, was covered with all manner of vegetation but seemed almost
entirely devoid of animal life. In fact, the only two examples of fauna which
they encountered were M'Lee, the female who'd sent the distress message, and a
large beast who was about to kill her. They quickly saved M'Lee who revealed
that her entire family had been massacred by this violent creature.

Aeryn, meanwhile, was boarding Moya's baby whose PK lineage put the infant
ships allegiances into question. With PK scanner sweeps constantly washing
over him, we wanted to insure that the newborn wouldn't give away our position
to Crais. Officer Sun seemed to develop a strong rapport with the baby but it
remained unclear if that would be enough to convince him that Moya and her
crew, and not the nearby Peacekeepers, were his real friends.

On the Botany Asteroid, the investigating team were discovering that the
situation was not as simple as M'Lee had wanted them to believe. The beast
that had been terrorizing her was actually a botanist named Br'Nee. He
claimed that M'Lee was the real monster and had murdered his family and
eaten their bones. Crichton and the team couldn't tell who needed rescuing
from whom. But they were sure of one thing, something had killed all the
fauna on the asteroid and it would undoubtedly kill them too if they
couldn't get to the real truth fast.
¡Family Ties [#22]
*o*Data/FSCP/Family.Iff
Even with the star charts that we recently inherited from Br'Nee, we were
unable to slip past the Command Carrier patrolling the edge of the asteroid
field. It was only a matter of time before the Peacekeepers homed in on
Moya's energy signatures and descended on us. With nowhere to run, we were
what Crichton referred to as "sitting ducts".

Under these conditions, Rygel's loyalties (which were never certain to begin
with) wavered and he fled to the PK Command Carrier hoping to trade the rest
of our lives for his own. Perhaps we should have been prepared for this
defection - his eminence has been known to exhibit a penchant for
self-interest that has been, in my case, quite literally disarming. Still,
adversity had united us in the past and we had yet to face a fate more adverse
than this one.

The Hynerian may have succeeded in bartering our lives for his freedom had
it not been for a shift in power on board the Peacekeeper vessel itself. It
seems the formidable Captain Crais had lost his grip on his command of the
PK Carrier, leaving Scorpius in charge and Crais fearing for his life under
the Scarran-hybrids new regime. Crais convinced Rygel that Scorpius
intended to kill them both and together they fled back to Moya. Their
reception was about as warm as could be expected.

With old enemies on board and new ones closing in, Moya and I were beginning
to doubt that her new offspring would survive long enough to acquire a name...
¡Mind The Baby [#23]
*o*Data/FSCP/Baby.Iff
There were only four of us left on Moya and no one could keep from worrying.
D'Argo, Aeryn, Crichton, and Moya's newborn child Talyn were all lost or
possibly dead in the nearby asteroid field. In this preoccupied state, we
inadvertently crossed the flight path of a hostile Sheyang vessel that
attacked us with its Plasma Ribbon. Ill equipped to handle the situation, we
barely managed to evade the Sheyang ship. It became quite clear to Moya and
I that our own survival depended on discovering what happened to Talyn and
our missing crewmates.

Returning to the asteroid field, Moya heard the anguished cry of Talyn and
rushed to protect her child. Instead of finding the young Leviathan hybrid,
however, we discovered a lone PK Prowler carrying Crichton and his prisoner,
Captain Crais. We were all pleased to find the Human alive and soon learned
that D'Argo and Aeryn also survived the events surrounding the destruction
of Scorpius' Gammak Base. Soon the entire crew was reunited. It was good to
have them all back on board.

Crichton explained that he had recently apprehended Crais aboard the young
Leviathan hybrid. Crais was undermining Aeryn's natural bond with Talyn by
systematically brainwashing the confused child into believing that Crais was
his only true friend. So when Crichton forcibly removed Crais from his
bridge, Talyn let out the desperate cry that Moya had picked up.

As we honed in on Talyn, Moya found that her frightened child no longer
trusted her. Too many people had been telling him too many conflicting things
and now the scared ship refused to believe anyone but Crais, demanding that
the PK Captain be returned to him at once. Aeryn might have been able to
reason with the young Leviathan hybrid but there was no time. Scorpius'
Command Carrier had suddenly emerged from hiding and bore down on us. Unless
we delivered Crais to Talyn immediately, Scorpius would capture us all. Moya
was faced with a terrible decision: sacrifice her only son to Crais or
sacrifice us all to the Peacekeepers.
¡Vitas Mortis [#24]
*o*Data/FSCP/Vitas.Iff
Commerce planets overflow with rumours and, during our recent visit to one, we
overheard stories about an old Luxan named Nilaam who'd been living nearby for
several cycles. D'Argo was determined to find her. With the notable exception
of Aeryn Sun and the Peacekeepers, instances of Moya's crew encountering
members of their own race in the Uncharted Territories are so rare that each
one warrants further exploration. At the very least, D'Argo could commune with
one of his own people. Also, it was possible that this Luxan might possess
maps that could lead us all to more familiar systems.

The rumours about Nilaam had left out one important fact however - she was
an Orican. These legendary Luxan holy women are revered throughout the
Territories for their spiritual powers. But, despite all her mystical
strength, the aged Nilaam was on the verge of death when D'Argo, Zhaan, and
Crichton found her. She wanted a fellow Luxan to assist her in her traditional
"Ritual of Passing" to impart the additional life energy she needed in making
her final ascension to a higher plane. For D'Argo this was the highest honour
that a Luxan could receive and, after Nilaam's somewhat invasive interview of
him, the ritual was performed.

The ceremony had some unexpected results though. Instead of dying, the
opposite occurred and Nilaam was rejuvenated. D'Argo, she said, had been
bursting with life energy; enough to perform the "Ritual of Renewal" instead
of the "Ritual of Passing". Now she was completely transformed and could
continue her life as a young, powerful, vibrant Orican. As thanks, Nilaam
offered to use her immense spiritual abilities to assist D'Argo and the rest
of Moya's crew in realizing all our wishes.

My only wish at that point was to understand what was going wrong with Moya
though. Suddenly, the Leviathans systems had mysteriously begun failing. Her
amnexus fluid was freezing. Tremors were occurring on all her tiers. Her hull
was starting to degenerate. Even Nilaam's awesome powers could not improve
Moya's rapidly deteriorating health. In fact, the more the Luxan holy woman
tried to help the worse the Leviathans condition got. Unless someone could
quickly figure out what was wrong, Nilaam's spiritual "healing" would decay
Moya's body beyond all repair.
¡Taking The Stone [#25]
*o*Data/FSCP/Stone.Iff
It seems that a life disc embedded in Chiana's abdomen had suddenly ceased
functioning. This indicated that the life force linked to the disc, her
brothers, had also ceased functioning. Distraught, Chiana sought solace from
Crichton but the Human was busy tinkering with Moya's systems. While I admire
Crichton's efforts to learn more about Leviathan technology, his exuberance
temporarily shorted-out several key biomechanoid elements and effectively
blinded both Moya and myself to what was occurring onboard.

By the time system integrity was restored Chiana, confused and distressed, had
already commandeered Aeryn's Prowler and slipped away to a nearby Royal
Cemetery Planet. Officer Sun, Crichton, and Rygel (our resident royalty, as he
ceaselessly reminds us) followed her in a transport pod. On arrival, the three
discovered that Chiana had taken up with a local people who call themselves
the Clansmen and live in underground tunnels below the gravesites.

Chiana, still reeling in the aftermath of her brothers passing, was attracted
to the young Clansmens hedonistic lifestyle of drugs and danger. These
people, led by one called Molnon, embraced life threatening situations,
constantly testing each other with deadly rites of passage.

These rites culminated in a ceremony called "The Gathering" where Clansmen
would plunge into a subterranean pit relying on a voice activated sonic net to
catch them at the bottom. While considered the highest honour among the
Clansmen, the act itself was extremely difficult to perform and often resulted
in their deaths ("taking the stone," as the locals put it).

The task of clearing Chiana's head and bringing her back to us was left to
Crichton and Officer Sun, as Rygel had chosen to devote his energy to
oh-so-noble task of grave robbing. But Chiana, in her current state, was
impervious to reason. Despite seeing one of the Clansmen named Das already
fall to his death, she determined it was time for her to leap and risk "taking
the stone," though whether to face death or embrace it was unclear... even to
Chiana herself.
¡Crackers Don't Matter [#26]
*o*Data/FSCP/Crackers.Iff
I really must learn to trust my judgment. Then again, I am seldom consulted
in matters like this most recent one, so I can hardly be blamed for what
happened.

The crew invited T'raltixx, a blind mechanic-type, aboard the ship with
promises to make modifications to Moya that would protect us from Scorpius'
pursuit. Crichton immediately expressed the fact that he did not trust
T'raltixx, and I had to restrain myself from asking him why he thought it
was acceptable to allow such an untrustworthy being aboard. Still, I must
acknowledge that our new guest took great pains to appear innocent, at least
at first.

T'raltixx tested his modifications on Crichton's Farscape module, and to all
observing it seemed that the module (as well as Crichton, who was opportunely
sitting beside the module) disappeared from view. This technology would truly
be a wonderful asset in our flight from Scorpius, and the crew was eager to
outfit Moya with the adaptation.

Meanwhile, Aeryn and Chiana returned from the commerce planet where they
obtained one of the "Wanted: John Crichton" beacons Scorpius had left, in
hopes of determining Scorpius' location so we could head in the opposite
direction. Also on the commerce planet, Aeryn and Chiana were able to acquire
some rudimentary food, though that acquisition - several crates of "crackers"
- ended up causing more trouble than good.

In order to perform the necessary modifications to Moya, T'raltixx had to take
us to his homeworld, a trip which required our passage through five pulsars
near his planet. He informed us that the proximity to the pulsars might cause
personality shifts in "lesser beings," namely, the crew. The occurrence was
pleasurable for Zhaan, who, as a plant-lifeform, experienced photogasms from
the light. The rest of us, I'm ashamed to admit, fared less well.

T'raltixx explained that our optic nerves were being affected, triggering
brain activity which resulted in extreme emotional responses, mostly in the
form of acute sense of distrust. And indeed we did begin to distrust
everything and everyone around us. I found myself distrusting and even hating
the crew. And throughout the ship, they too were turning against one another.
These regularly companionable... well, tolerant shipmates picked up arms
against one another, suspicious of everyone and willing to protect with deadly
force their fair share... of crackers.
¡The Way We Weren't [#27]
*o*Data/FSCP/TheWay.Iff
The DRDs have ears. And despite the fact that they seem to ignore it, the crew
does know this, I've heard Chiana remind them from time to time. Still, it
doesn't stop them from commenting - often rudely, I might add - about me, or
Moya, when they think we're not listening. I've tried to stop listening. I am
aware it's not polite.

This time, I knew there was something going on, I noticed the whispers and
the closed doors, though I tried to ignore them. But I was not altogether
surprised when Rygel brought me the tape. I was, however, altogether
surprised when I saw what was on it.

The days of my arrival aboard Moya I remember only when I am forced to
remember them, I've tried to put them out of my mind. I would have been quite
content never to hear the name Velorek again. But when Rygel showed me the
tape and I saw Velorek again, and saw how he tried to care for me as I took my
place aboard this Leviathan. I remember the pain so vividly, during the
bonding. He said I would get used to it, that I would adjust to the pain of
being artificially bonded to Moya. I have not gotten used to it.

That was three cycles ago.

Yes. The tape - a Peacekeeper surveillance recording - chronicled those days
with detail I'd just as soon have forgotten. It also showed me details I might
have actually forgotten, or perhaps never knew.

One detail in particular.

Velorek, the Peacekeeper assigned to oversee my bonding with this Leviathan,
was accompanied by a female Pleisar soldier for whom he seemed to care,
deeply. Someone I too have since come to trust and understand in ways I had
not before with any biped.

The tape showed her actions before I was brought aboard Moya, it showed how
the Pilot before me was killed, and disposed of, and the cruel, crucial role
that particular Pleisar commando played in this brutal ordeal. At times I find
unfathomable what some will do under the orders of a Peacekeeper. Velorek was
a persuasive individual, I'll admit, but the actions he requested of this
commando were - she had to have known they were - pure evil. What kind of
sentient being would allow themselves to become such a monster?

And now it is too late. Whats been done has been done. And this woman - our
own Officer Sun - can never, ever be redeemed.
¡Picture If You Will [#28]
*o*Data/FSCP/Picture.Iff
One might think the crew would hesitate to let Chiana shop, after her purchase
of an overabundance of crackers, but she and Rygel did insist upon visiting
Kyvan's commerce ship. Still, despite what Aeryn might say, I lean toward
blaming Rygel for visiting Kyvan. Perhaps that is unfair of me. But the events
were quite upsetting, and it is useful to have someone to blame.

Aboard the commerce ship, Chiana was given a portrait, as a gift. Her own face
appeared in it, beside a rendering of a necklace she'd lost. I had assigned a
DRD to locate that necklace, and, coincidentally or not, it happened to find
it the moment Chiana returned to Moya with the portrait.

We would have liked to believe it was a coincidence, that is, until the
portrait altered itself to show Chiana breaking her leg. Seconds later, she
tripped over a DRD and the image proved itself to be prescient. I found myself
agreeing with D'Argo and the crew when they suggested destroying the thing
before it caused Chiana further harm, but Chiana impetuously insisted upon
watching it to see what would happen next.

Crichton asked Zhaan to analyse a section of the portrait, in an effort to see
what might have given it these strange properties. What Zhaan's analysis told
her, we were not sure, but she became very frightened and told me and certain
members of the crew that she might have to call upon us to do "exactly as she
said," without question, at some point. I will confess to being frightened
too, when I was informed, but I trusted Zhaan enough to comply.

The next change in the portrait was truly terrifying; it showed Chiana
consumed by fire. Poor Chiana, confident that the image would come true again,
begged to be locked in the freezer where she was sure she could not burn. Not
having a better suggestion, the crew asked me and Moya to allow this.

I made certain that there was clean oxygen directed to the freezer, and I
raised the temperature just enough that Chiana would not die from the cold.
But while doing so, something... happened.

Flames shot up inside the freezer. Chiana shouted for help, but I could not
get Moya to open the hatch and let Chiana free. With the freezer door stuck
between them, the crew watched Chiana scream, and burn. Unable to figure out
what the malfunction was, there was nothing I could do to save her. And when
we finally did get the hatch open... Chiana was gone, and the painting had
already selected its next victim.
¡Home Of The Remains [#29]
*o*Data/FSCP/Remains.Iff
The Human, the Sebacean, the Luxan and the Nebari all require to consume food
and water orally to survive. Without it, they become weak, and they complain,
their demeanour becoming cranky and unpleasant. The Hynerian, being
perpetually cranky and unpleasant, became even more so recently as the crews
store of rations dwindled, depleted and disappeared.

But perhaps the strangest response to the food shortage was the Delvian one.
Zhaan's body, having gone too long without sustenance, entered a state of
metamorphosis, and the plant-lifeform began to flower.

Zhaan informed us that if she was not fed meat quite soon, her body would
completely change and the budding process would kill her. To further
complicate matters, the Delvian buds caused physical reactions in John,
D'Argo, Chiana, and Rygel causing them to have difficulty breathing and to
make a series of strange hacking sounds whenever they were in Zhaan's
presence.

Fortunately, Moya encountered in space the carcass of a Budong inside which a
mining colony lived and worked. Among the residents of the carcass were some
old friends of Chiana's... or, perhaps, old enemies. Still, with Zhaan dying
and no time to nurse old grudges, Chiana brought John, D'Argo and Rygel over
to the carcass in the hopes of procuring meat for Zhaan.

Aeryn remained with me aboard Moya, but Zhaan started budding more and more.
Aeryn thought that perhaps the Delvian would benefit from strong light,
knowing that plants photosynthesize light into energy. However, the effect of
the light caused the near-starving Zhaan to release a spray of spores into
Moya's environment. These airborne spores caused an allergic reaction in
Aeryn, and, even more seriously, began to cloud Moya's systems, preventing her
from functioning properly.

The spores grew denser in the air and Moya began to malfunction more and more.
Even through her own physical reaction to the spores, Aeryn tried to help
Moya, but there was little she could do.

The only way to save Moya was to clear the ship of all the spores, which would
require depressurizing the ship. Aeryn would remain in my chamber which would
maintain the life support necessary for her to survive during the purge... but
Zhaan was nowhere to be found and Moya was suffering.

Aeryn hunted for Zhaan, but time was running out. I needed to release the
spores into space and save Moya... even if it meant killing Zhaan in the
process.
¡Dream A Little Dream [#30]
*o*Data/FSCP/Dream.Iff
The period of time shortly after the destruction of the Peacekeeper Gammak
Base, when Moya was desperately seeking for her offspring, Talyn, was an
extremely chaotic one, which is why this entry is out of chronological
sequence.

For the first 15 solar days after the destruction of the Peacekeeper Gammak
Base, the Delvian, the Hynerian and the Nebari repeatedly and frantically
demanded that Moya traipse from one star system to another in search of the
missing Human, Sebacean and Luxan. During this time, Moya's insistence on
continuing her search for Talyn became progressively more difficult to refuse.
After 15 solar days, we had reached Litigara, the last habitable planet within
range of Aeryn's prowler, but had found no sign of her, Crichton or D'Argo.

During a visit to the planet surface, Zhaan managed to become entangled in
some sort of minor traffic violation, for which she was told she would likely
spend 10 days in confinement. However, Moya made it very clear to me - and I
made it clear to Zhaan, Chiana and Rygel - that we would be leaving orbit in
only three days.

Zhaan was not content to follow the advice of her legal counsel, perhaps
because she hoped to find a better one within the 90 percent of Litigaras
population who were lawyers. Shortly thereafter, Zhaan managed to escape from
her cell, but in her haste to rejoin Chiana and Rygel, she stumbled over a
dead body and into a murder charge.

With Moya's desire to leave growing stronger by the microt, and Zhaan's lawyer
unwilling to defend her innocence, Chiana and Rygel rather impetuously
volunteered to represent Zhaan. I could not help but lament their
ill-considered decision when I subsequently heard that if they were caught
lying or presenting a bad-faith defence - which, so far as I could tell, was
their only viable strategy - they would be executed along with Zhaan.

Apparently, the trial generated quite a stir on Litigara because the victim
was a civil-rights advocate for the 10 percent of Litigarans who are not
lawyers, and who are referred to rather disparagingly as utilities. And from
what I could discern from Chiana's hysterical shouting and Rygel's pompous
blather, the most likely culprits were the lawyers of the law firm that
ruled the planet.

Moya, unwilling to wait while her newborn travelled farther and farther,
decided to break orbit and leave Chiana, Rygel and Zhaan on Litigara...
¡Out Of Their Minds [#31]
*o*Data/FSCP/Minds.Iff
The first thing Moya realized was that she was being attacked. The crew
decided that the only way to protect ourselves from our assailants was to
engage the defence screen we recovered from the Zelbinion, so they did. The
enemy continued to fire, their energy beams now hitting the defence screen.

And the next moment I remember, I was coming back to consciousness... in
Chiana's body. The sensation was very strange. I do not know how Chiana and
the others are able to manoeuvre with seemingly so little effort in these
clumsy forms; I was unable to even get Chiana's legs to respond.

But the most painful part of the whole experience was the fact that I was
severed from Moya. Hearing Moya in my head, and feeling her in my body is as
natural as hearing my own thoughts, and without her, I felt very empty. I
believe Moya did as well, for D'Argo, who had found his consciousness in my
body, was shortly overwhelmed and terrified by the impulses and fear Moya was
expressing to him. Meanwhile, Chiana's consciousness had inhabited D'Argo's
body, and the young girl did not know what to do. None of us did.

We were not sure how this body-switching had occurred, but the fact that
D'Argo, Chiana and I were in the same room when the enemy ship fired on us
seems to be part of it. Because, elsewhere on Moya, John, Aeryn and Rygel
found their consciousnesses in the wrong bodies as well.

Zhaan was being held prisoner aboard the enemy ship, and was therefore not
affected by the body-switching. There, she learned that the aliens had fired
on Moya in retaliation for an attack THEY had suffered. It seems that shortly
before encountering us, they had been fired upon by another Leviathan. Talyn.

The thought was terrifying. If Crais were using Talyn as an offensive assault
weapon, what could his ultimate plans for the Leviathan child be? Though Moya
tries to conceal her fear from me, I know she worries often about her son, and
I knew that this news would be extremely painful for her to hear. It was
almost unbearable to be severed from her and to be unable to share her pain
and her terror. And, to have her share mine.

However, our only hope of survival depended on Zhaan's ability to convince the
aliens that Moya, unlike Talyn, had no weapons and posed no threat to them. If
she were able to succeed in calling off the attack, then, with luck, we would
be able to focus on getting back inside our own bodies - before the separation
between Moya and myself killed one of us. Or both.
¡Look At The Princess, Part 1 - "A Kiss Is But A Kiss" [#32]
*o*Data/FSCP/Princess1.Iff
Commence recording.

Aeryn Sun, Officer. Completing assignment as requested.

I've never been very good with words, Pilot, so I apologize if this isn't
exactly what you're looking for. But I'm going to try and give you the best
interpretation of the events that took place, without allowing my own emotions
to interfere with the facts. I'm fairly good at that, at least.

John and D'Argo and Chiana and Rygel and I were on the Royal Planet; Zhaan was
back on Moya with you.

The Royal Planet is a strange place, Pilot. It's an outpost world for former
Peacekeepers, and in many ways, the Sebaceans who live here are more like
myself than any other Sebaceans I've met. It's nice to be surrounded by my own
kind again, even if these Sebaceans spend their time drinking and kissing one
another with no ambition beyond finding a mate.

The Empress' eldest daughter, Princess Katralla, was apparently approaching
her deadline for finding a mate with compatible DNA that she could marry so
she could take her place on the throne. They use a kind of chemical that they
place on their tongues when they kiss, and if the chemical tastes sweet during
the kiss it means the DNA of the couple is compatible and they can mate and
produce healthy children.

Somehow, the Princess' DNA had been altered, making all the Sebaceans on the
planet incompatible mates. I believe this is the work of her brother, who
would be the next in line for the throne if the Princess were unable to marry.
Her brother, Prince Clavor, appears to be working with a Scarran, though I'm
not sure what their motives are.

Anyway, this DNA-altering may have made the Princess incompatible with
Sebaceans, but it apparently made her compatible with Humans. At least, she
was compatible with our Human. John.

D'Argo and Chiana and I lost contact with Moya at roughly the same time we
identified Scorpius' ship entering the system. As far as we know, you and
Zhaan fled the system when you saw Scorpius, but rather than pursuing Moya,
Scorpius came down to the planet to look for Crichton.

Meanwhile, the Princess and her mother were ecstatic; finally the Princess had
found a compatible mate and would be allowed to take the throne.

John didn't want to marry Katralla at first, even when they told him he had
to. D'Argo and Rygel tried to convince John that it was the wise choice,
especially with Scorpius on the prowl. D'Argo even cut a deal with Scorpius
that the rest of us would be spared if John married Katralla.

I firmly believed that we would be able to escape Scorpius, as we always have
been. I still believe it, Pilot. But John seemed convinced by D'Argo's
decision. Either that, or he actually developed feelings for this Princess,
though I don't want to believe thats the case. Men are fickle, though, Pilot.
And I'm not any closer to knowing John's feelings now than I've ever been.

"Better wed than dead," Crichton said to me.

I was almost ready to believe him, even when the Scarran - convinced I was
working for Scorpius - decided to question and then attack me. I gave him a
few bruises he won't forget, I'll tell you that.

But I was almost ready to believe that marrying the Princess was the right
decision for Crichton, and almost ready to give him up to her and adjust to
the fact that I would never see him again.

And then Crichton learned exactly what this ascension to the throne would
entail.

For eighty cycles, commencing immediately after the wedding day, the bride and
groom would be turned to statues.

Not an appealing prospect for Crichton, to be sure. And I wasn't convinced
Scorpius would spare the rest of us, regardless; his word doesn't mean much to
me. But if Crichton refused the marriage, it was certain - Scorpius would have
us all.
¡Look At The Princess, Part 2 - "I Do, I Think" [#33]
*o*Data/FSCP/Princess2.Iff
Is this thing on? Testing, one, two, three.

John Crichton, Commander, reporting for Pilot.

Hey, Pilot. Aeryn said you wanted some fill-in-the-blanks for your journey
logs, and since I was the one getting the crap kicked out of him for a good
portion of this particular adventure, she thought I should be the one to give
you the, uh, no pun intended, blow-by-blows.

After the blows that I was a.) gonna have to get married, and b.) gonna have
to be a statue for eighty years, I didn't really think it was going to get
worse. I'm a frellin' idiot; you think I'd have learned by now - it can always
get worse.

Me, I'm minding my own business, and all of a sudden a flock of Prince
Clavor's thugs decide to make Christmas lights out of me. They're zapping me
with some really gnarly stun guns, and I'm seriously outnumbered, until Jena,
the princes fiance, shows up and rescues me. Not... that I needed to be
rescued. I mean, I'd have gotten my ass out of there eventually, but still, it
was a nice gesture. Of course, it turns out she is a Peacekeeper operative and
she thinks I'm one too, which is why she bailed me out. And she won't tell me
her mission, but that definitely makes it easier on me because she totally
buys it when I play into the PK commando role and tell her my "mission" is top
secret too. Close call, though.

After she leaves, I go find Clavor and explain to him, gently and maturely,
that I'd appreciate it if he'd call off his henchmen and leave me the frell
alone. Okay, so I may have slapped him a little bit. But these guys don't
understand the subtle art of negotiation.

So now Katralla's mad at me for accusing her brother, who in her eyes is a
harmless, dumb, hack. At least she's got the dumb hack part right. I try and
explain to her that Clavor and his little Scarran buddy aren't as innocent as
she wants to believe, but she doesn't buy it until we look up and see this
round, like, Obi-Wan orb floating in front of us. You know, like the thing
Luke practised his lightsaber on? No, Pilot. Of course you don't know. Sorry.
Suffice it to say, it was a big, round, shiny, scary thing that started to
hiss toxic gas at us.

The room fills up with the toxic gas, and I'm convinced I'm toast again,
when Ro-NA, that little green servant chick, appears out of nowhere and
helps us out of there.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Sparky... I mean Rygel... has done some sort of
Dominar-style kung-fu on the Empress and has gotten her to help evacuate me
from the planet so that at the very least I'll live till the wedding. They put
me and the green chick on a transport ship which is supposed to take me
someplace "safe"... ha!

"Safe" apparently includes Scorpy's right hand jerk, Lieutenant Heskon, who
was in league all along with Ro-NA and brought me up here as a little
wedding present for Scorpy. I still can't believe that little green chick
sold me out. After I promised her a toaster and everything. You can't trust
anybody, Pilot. Take it from me.

But at least I didn't need a bailout this time; I nailed that Lieutenant all
by my wily lonesome. Scorpy considers my brain primo merchandise, right? So
the lieutenant knew he couldn't off me, not if he wanted whatever it was
Scorpy'd promised him to bring me in alive. So I hold myself hostage and I
rock the house. Works every time. When you're dealing with total crackpots,
anyway. So bye bye Lieutenant, bye bye green chick, and now it's just me on
the ship.

The ship... ahem... which is now firing, of its own accord, on the planetary
defence satellites. So they are, of course, firing back. The ship is about an
inch from demolished and I'm pretty sure that this is the last hurrah of John
Crichton. There's nowhere to go, ships breaking apart, and I'm about an inch
from bonkers myself. And then I hear Scorpy talking to me, from inside my
brain. Remember way back when when he said he'd leave me something to remember
him by? Ha! Found it. Scorpy tells me to save my ass, and I'll tell you, I had
half a mind not to do it, just to spite him.

That, and the fact that the only way to save myself was to jump out into
space.

Out into space, Pilot. You know, where it's colder than Minneapolis in
February and harder to breathe than a room full of women in Chanel perfume?

Clocks ticking, ships falling apart, and I've either got to jump and save
myself for Scorpy or stay here and get blown to smithereens.

Man, I am so frelling tired of making all the tough decisions.
¡Look At The Princess, Part 3 - "The Maltese Crichton" [#34]
*o*Data/FSCP/Princess3.Iff
Commence recording.

Aeryn Sun, Officer. Concluding assignment as requested.

First of all, for the record, I went climbing with Dregon because I needed
to do something. Yes, fine, he is an attractive male. But I was tired of
doing nothing, Pilot. Crichton had made his choice. There was nothing left
there for me.

So instead of attending the wedding, I went out to the cliffs and went
climbing with Dregon. He claimed to be a skilled climber, but I should know by
now not to believe every word an arrogant male decides to yammer on about. Two
cycles with Crichton should have taught me that.

But it's my fault and no one elses; I should have been more attentive.
Because, that yotz developed a fear of heights halfway up the rock face, and
instead of grabbing hold of the rocks to steady himself, he grabbed hold of my
leg, and we both plummeted into to the river below.

It frelling hurt, Pilot. I got sliced to bits on the rocks, got pummelled by
the current, broke my leg on impact and got the wind knocked out of me several
times trying to save Dregon from being washed away.

And I don't know if his injuries were worse than mine, or if he simply didn't
have the Peacekeeper tolerance for pain, but he complained so loudly and so
often I truly would have killed him just to shut him up. But I am a trained
Peacekeeper soldier and I knew we needed to be further inland to get help.

Now, if limping on a broken leg while dragging a moaning Sebacean across the
desert on a makeshift gurney sounds like an unpleasant way to pass an
afternoon, from what they've told me, D'Argo and Chiana had it worse. And
since you've asked for a complete account, Pilot, I will try and construct
their rendition of the events here as well, since they have informed me
they'd prefer not to think about it again. I suppose some events are not
worth reliving.

Apparently, after the wedding ceremony and the... bronzing procedure, Crichton
disappeared. I'm not sure I fully understand it myself, but according to
D'Argo, first Crichton's head was stolen from his body, and then later his
entire body was reanimated and possibly kidnapped.

Needless to say, everyone in the Royal Court was looking for him, though
whether they wanted to crown him or kill him was up for grabs. So of course,
in the chaos, Scorpius materialized and asked D'Argo where Crichton was.

D'Argo didn't know - no one seemed to know - but the Scarran who'd been
working with Prince Clavor used a kind of thought-extracting beam on D'Argo,
forcing him to suggest they ask Chiana for Crichton's whereabouts.

Scorpius and the Scarran set off, each hoping to find Chiana first and thereby
locate Crichton. D'Argo, having to select the lesser evil, chose to accompany
Scorpius, working with the assumption that Scorpius was less likely to harm
Chiana, I imagine.

The Scarran found Chiana and had her hung in chains, suspended over a pit of
acid, when Scorpius and D'Argo located him. The Scarran had used Chiana to
bait D'Argo and Scorpius, because he'd suspected that Scorpius was trying to
foil his plans to take control of the Royal Planet. When he learned that
Scorpius had no such plans, he figured his mission would go unthreatened, as
long as Crichton himself didn't intervene.

The heat of the room caused the Sebacean DNA in Scorpius intense pain;
exposure to heat, as you know, causes us to suffer Sebacean Heat-Sickness,
which is lethal. Scorpius is half-Scarran, though, and Scarrans crave heat,
and feed off it. If it were possible for me to feel pity for Scorpius I would
feel it now; the anguish he went through must have been tremendous. Having
experienced it myself, I would not wish Heat Sickness on anyone. Perhaps not
even Scorpius. But I still say perhaps, Pilot.

With Scorpius incapacitated, D'Argo was unmatched by the Scarran. Chiana hung
perilously over the acid, but D'Argo could not even attempt to rescue her,
still trying to fight of the Scarrans advances.

When one of the chains holding Chiana broke, it must have been a horrifying
moment for all of them.

Meanwhile, the Empress, having learned that her son Clavor was dead, ruled
that every off-worlder - starting with the Scarran and including all of us,
down to Rygel - would be put to death in retaliation.

And still, no one knew where Crichton was.

Hey, Pilot, Crichton again.

Last time I talked to you I was doing my Han Solo impression, right? Frozen in
carbonite - or some sort of nasty metallic stuff, anyhow - in possibly the
most uncomfortable pose I've ever struck. I guess the process stung a bit more
than I expected it to. Pity, too - I had this great pose planned, and a
frelling huge grin on my face thanks to D'Argo. Oh, you'll have to ask him
about that part.

So anyway, I'm chilling out, stupidly under the assumption that at the very
least I'll finally be left alone in for the next eighty years, when Clavor and
his Scarran compadre decide it might be fun to break my head off. Their logic
is this: if I don't have a head, I can't be Regent, and if I can't be Regent,
Katralla can't be Empress, so brother Clavor gets the throne.

Now let me tell you, Pilot, being frozen was a weird enough feeling, but if
you've ever had your head snapped off and dumped in a pit of bubbling acid -
which is what Lizard Face and the Boy Wonder did to me - you'll start to
change your definition of "weird feeling".

So while my bodys doing an Ichabod Crane back in the Royal Court, my head is
bobbing along in the bubbly green acid, until someone comes and retrieves it.
Oh, no, not Aeryn or D'Argo or Chiana or Princess Leia dressed as a bounty
hunter, no, I'm not that lucky. This time, I'm bailed out by Scorpius.

Apparently he'd been able to trace my DNA from the sample he took when he had
me in that frelling chair, and that enabled him to find my head. Don't ask me
how that makes sense. I just work here.

So Scorpy takes me back to his little laboratory in the volcano, or
wherever, with all sorts of ideas about extracting wormhole data, when what
do you know, I'm rescued again. Only this time it's my new friend and
repeat-offender savior, Jena.

Jena gets my head reattached and defrosts me, but instead of leaving me in the
Royal Court, she smuggles me out to her campsite by the river like it's some
sort of army field trip. And I gotta tell you, Pilot, for a Peacekeeper, she's
not bad. Her mission, undercover as Clavor's fiance, was to keep the Royal
Planet out of the hands of the Scarrans at all costs, which is why I worked so
nicely into her plans. And her heart was definitely in the right place - the
Sebaceans that sent her knew that if the Scarrans took control of the planet a
lot of innocent people would be killed, and all she wanted was to make sure
that didn't happen.

It was a motive I could understand, anyway. And after the last several days,
that was a refreshing thing to come across. And she took care of me, and what
can I say? I'm a guy. She's a chick. All her... parts were in the right place.
And after the way Aeryn had been treating me... it was just nice to spend time
with someone whose heart was in the right place, and who wasn't afraid to
express herself. You know, physically. As I said: I'm a guy.

So after that, we went back to the palace to figure out what to do with
Clavor, but we were lucky enough that the Scarran had done it for us. Of
course, Jena had to play the weepy fiance, but you could feel the relief in
the court that that jerk was dead.

I had no intention of getting statue-d again, but I went to the hall to visit
Katralla and Tyno - the guy Katralla was in love with for real - and say
goodbye.

I hate long goodbyes, Pilot. People always say something that makes you
change your mind.

This time, it was the Empress. She showed up to try and convince me to take
my place with Katralla again, and when I told her no soap, she pulled out
the big guns.

Seems they do things differently down here, Pilot. I'd given a DNA sample when
we'd decided to get married, and they'd somehow been able to use it in
conjunction with Katralla's...

... and she was pregnant. With my child. A child who would grow up without a
father unless I allowed myself to be frozen for the next eighty years.

I have heard the accounts of the experiences the others went through during
their time at the Royal Court. Next to that, the trials Pa'u Zhaan and I faced
aboard Moya might seem insignificant.

However, I will say without hesitation that these were among the hardest, most
terrifying, and most painful days of my life.

While the crew was on the planet, Moya identified Scorpius' ship entering
orbit with us. We knew that Scorpius sought Crichton, and it seemed that the
only way to protect the Commander was to lure Scorpius away, on the notion
that Scorpius might think Crichton was aboard Moya, and pursue.

Moya entered StarBurst for as short an interval as she was capable, but when
she exited, Scorpius' ship was nowhere to be found. Realizing he had not
taken our bait, Zhaan and I attempted to retrace our journey and return to
where we had left our companions.

Moya, however, had other designs. She had apparently picked up a familiar
signal and began to track it across space, leading us to a glorious nebula
of white light.

The sensation Moya experienced upon encountering the light was...
undescribable. She was exhilarated, filled with overwhelming sense of
connection, of... I suppose I would have to call it... love. Moya recognized
the race we had encountered, and she identified them as the Builders: her
creators, her Gods, the entities who had imbued the originally non-sentient
Leviathans with life and emotion.

One of the Builders, who introduced himself as Kahaynu, transferred to Moya.
Considering Pilots as unworthy to communicate with Gods such as himself, he
chose to address his intentions to Zhaan.

He informed her that the Builders had been made aware of Moya's offspring,
Talyn, and he expressed their disapproval at a Leviathans ability to
produce a gun-ship.

Zhaan tried to explain that it was not Moya's fault, but I could feel Moya's
guilt, and her shame, in the presence of her disapproving creators.

Kahaynu informed Zhaan that Talyn's birth was unacceptable to the Builders.
Because of it, their race had made the decision. Moya would be
"decommissioned". Killed. Myself along with her. And Zhaan, as our unfortunate
cargo, would be left to die as well.
¡My Three Crichton's [#35]
*o*Data/FSCP/My3C.Iff
I have heard both Officer Sun and Commander Crichton say, "shoot first, ask
questions later". I am ashamed to admit that it is a philosophy I often agree
with, especially when the safety of Moya is at stake. However, I cannot help
but wonder if the circumstances of the last day would have been different had
Aeryn not fired at the sphere.

The sphere was small when it entered Moya, and it traversed the ship, hovering
above each crew member in turn as if it were trying to learn something from
the humanoids. When it reached John Crichton, it lingered there, and John,
perhaps foolishly, told Aeryn to open fire on it.

The energy from her phase rifle must have affected the sphere in some way,
because at that moment the sphere grew to many times its initial size, big
enough to swallow Commander Crichton inside.

Crichton was as quickly expelled, but when he exited the sphere he was not
alone - a dark figure dashed by him and disappeared into Moya's corridors.

The crew pursued the intruder, and Chiana found it, hiding in Commander
Crichton's quarters, trying to put on the humans Earth uniform. It was an
ugly, hairy beast, unable to communicate beyond more than a series of grunts,
but Chiana tried to talk with it anyway.

After some trouble, she managed to get the beast to tell her his name: John
Crichton.

While Zhaan confirmed the creatures identity with a DNA scan, Moya and I
struggled against the sphere. From where it had lodged itself near
Maintenance Bay 2, it was causing massive energy fluctuations that
threatened to tear apart Moya.

Crichton and D'Argo went to the maintenance bay to see if they could stop the
energy fluctuations, but when they arrived at where Aeryn was keeping watch,
the fluctuations had diminished somewhat.

And the sphere expelled another version of Crichton.

Moya and I barely had a chance to consider the implications of three John
Crichton's aboard; we still had to fight against the sphere. It was again
causing massive energy fluctuations that now seemed to be pulling at Moya,
tearing at the ship and trying to carry us through into an alternate
dimension.

The Crichton's and the crew tried to help us find a way to counteract the
effects of the dimensional pull, but Moya was already showing signs of
serious strain.

If she were pulled through into the alternate dimension, it seemed very
likely that none of the us would survive.
¡Beware Of Dog [#36]
*o*Data/FSCP/Dog.Iff
I will admit, I was a bit dubious when Crichton began having hallucinations.
Aeryn Sun informed me that the human species is unaccustomed to long-term
space travel, and she proposed that our journey might be at last taking its
toll on the commander. John Crichton seemed preoccupied, playing games with
himself and talking with imaginary companions, and it seemed that Aeryn's
theory had merit.

First, the crew began to suspect that their food supply was contaminated
with parasites. In an effort to track down and destroy these parasites,
Chiana purchased a Vorc: a small, harmless creature bred to locate vermin
and dispose of them. So when Crichton claimed to have seen a fierce creature
in one of the access tubes, the crew and I felt certain it was merely a
manifestation created by his prolonged exposure to space.

Though they doubted Crichton's story, D'Argo and Chiana remained convinced
that there was a parasite of some kind contaminating the cargo, and
continued to use the Vorc in an attempt to track it.

Perhaps it was their unwillingness to believe Crichton that prevented the
crew from being prepared, but their first encounter with the all-too-real
beast proved deadly.

Rygel and Chiana found the beast first, and allowed it to corner them in one
of the maintenance bays. They escaped unharmed... but when D'Argo came to
their rescue, he did not fare as well. The beast leaped at D'Argo, and bit
him, injecting him with poisonous venom.

Zhaan studied a sample of the poison, and confirmed that if it continued to
spread through D'Argo's system, the Luxan would assuredly die.

With the spread of the poison slowed by immersing D'Argo in a cooling
chamber, the crew bought themselves some time, though not much. Zhaan
postulated that she might be able to synthesize an antidote, if she had a
sample of the beasts DNA to work from. With nothing but the Vorc to guide
them, the crew set out to find the beast... before D'Argo's time ran out.
¡Won't Get Fooled Again [#37]
*o*Data/FSCP/Fooled.Iff
John Crichton, Commander, leaving a message after the beep.

Pilot, you're not gonna believe this. Hell, I don't believe it. Or, rather,
a year ago, I wouldn't have believed it. Now, after everything I've been
through, I pretty much believe anything.

Which is not to say that I was suckered for a minute. I mean, I believed it
was happening, I just didn't believe it was... happening.

Sorry I'm not making more sense, Pilot. But this particular acid trip kinda
defies cohesive explanation.

First, I woke up. Only I was on Earth, back home, in a hospital, and there
was Dad, and D.K. talking about what a shame it was the Farscape experiment
hadn't worked, and asking me if I was okay after my "accident".

Pretty redundant for the Ancients, right? I mean, I've been through this
before, I'm what they'd call a pro at spotting manipulated realities. So I
nodded and smiled at Dad and D.K., got up from my hospital bed and strolled
to the first ladies' room I could find. "Haven't been in here before,"
remember? I figured I'd step through the door and click my heels together
and I'd be back in Kansas.

I gotta say I was a little surprised when the door opened onto an actual
bathroom. And, by the way, for posterity, ladies' rooms don't have those
couches and those gold sinks like you see in movies. I don't know what
everyone gets so excited about, and I'm even more confused now about the
fact that women seem to like to go in fleets. There wasn't even an armchair.
But I am definitely digressing.

Fine, maybe it wasn't the Ancients this time. But it was definitely something;
there was no way in hell I was really back on Earth. Especially when the
Scarecrow and the Tin Man and the rest of you all started to show up.

I mentioned the doctor, right? Aeryn? Well, not really Aeryn. But in the
hospital I had this doctor who looked a hell of a lot like Aeryn, except she
had better hair. And she introduced herself as Bettina Fairchild. Claimed I
was wounded in an accident during the test of the Farscape module and I'd
been out for a week. I try to call her bluff, see if maybe she's really
Aeryn trapped in this lab maze with me, and she decides I'm nuts and sends
me to a shrink to get shrunk.

A blue shrink, Pilot. That's right; Zhaan. But of course it's not Zhaan. And
the daredevil astronaut they introduce me to is D'Argo, but of course it's not
D'Argo. And the stubby little cigar-chewing CEO isn't Rygel either.

So I'm running around Earth looking for a way out, and instead I end up in a
bar listening to none other but Scorpy and the Scorpytones with you, Pilot,
rocking out on the bongos, or something. I chill out, have a drink, and who do
you think pulls up a bar stool next to me? Scorpius. The real one, this time.
At least, he says he is. He disappears before he can tell me much more, but he
shows up again later, when I'm back in the hospital... which is another story
that I won't even bother explaining.

Point is, Scorpy's the only one who seems to get the fact that none of this is
real, but for all I know, he could just be a more complex brand of trick. I
mean, everyone keeps asking me when I'm going to attempt the Farscape
experiment again - it's not too much of a stretch to think that Scorpy'd
brought me here so he could have front-row seats at the wormhole opening.

He denies it, though. He says he's here to help me. He tells me I'm in a
constructed reality - like, duh - but it's not the Ancients who are behind it.
Scorpy tells me I'm the prisoner of a Scarran, who plans to kill me unless I
take Scorpius' advice on how to beat him.

That, or I could just spend the rest of my life here joy-riding with D'Argo
and Chiana in their convertible, pretending this was really Earth.

But with Scorpius as my only possible link to Moya and reality, what choice do
I have? It's not like I'm keen on believing Scorpius, but it's that,
death-by-Scarran, or Crichton in Wonderland.

I'm not sure I want to know what's behind door number four.
¡The Locket [#38]
*o*Data/FSCP/Locket.Iff
Today the Banik, Stark, the man Crichton was imprisoned with on the
Peacekeeper Gammak base, returned unexpectedly to Moya to return the transport
she had loaned him. It was pleasing to see another friendly face, even if, in
Stark's case, it was only half a face, the other half concealed by the mask he
wears. There are far too few friendly faces in the galaxy, it seems. Stark's
was certainly quite welcomed.

We were deep in the Uncharted Territories, continuing our search for safe
avenues in which to hide from Scorpius and our other unfriendly pursuers. Moya
came across a kind of nebulous net in space, and at first it seemed like a
serendipitous discovery; inside the nebula we could be reasonably certain we
wouldn't be tracked.

Officer Sun decided to scout out the net before Moya entered, and she departed
the ship in her prowler to analyse and report. Patiently, we waited.

Eight arns later, when Aeryn had not returned nor contacted us, the crew and
I grew concerned. We entered the net in the hopes of locating Officer Sun's
prowler.

I was somewhat dubious, and at first I feared the worst. But shortly after
entering the net, Moya identified a kind of schism and from out it,
thankfully, Aeryn's prowler emerged.

We should know by now that fortune does not treat us so kindly. When Aeryn
reboarded Moya, she was changed, greatly changed. Eight arns prior she had
left us as a healthy, vital young woman. Now she was withered, wrinkled and
greyed. She informed us that she had indeed aged; she had lived fifty-five
years during the eight arns that passed aboard Moya. How this was possible, I
do not know. But I trust Officer Sun implicitly, and when she claimed to have
lived on a planet for fifty-five years, married, and was now a grandmother, I
believed her without hesitation.

Her granddaughter was waiting for her, she said. She needed to go back.

Through the schism there was, she explained, an alternate dimension, in which
there was a planet with a community she had joined. The schism would be
closing soon, and if she were to make it safely through she needed to leave
promptly. She said... she just wanted to see us one last time. I am truly glad
she did.

Commander Crichton insisted on joining her through the schism, and when he
returned, alone, he confirmed her account. The schism did indeed open on an
alternate dimension, and every eight arns that passed here meant fifty-five
years on the other side. The schism closed behind Crichton, not to open again
for another eight arns.

Crichton swore he would return in eight arns to retrieve Officer Sun and
return with her to Moya. She would have aged another fifty-five years in that
time, but Sebaceans have long life-expectancies and she would likely still be
alive. Hesitantly, the crew agreed to allow Crichton through.

It is now two arns since Crichton left us. He did not return, as promised,
before the schism closed, and we can only assume he is in the alternate
dimension with Officer Sun. We will wait here for another six arns, in the
hopes that they will return to us.

If they do, then perhaps we can find a way to reverse the effects of the aging
process, though it is my opinion that the prospect is grim. However, Moya is
their home, and even aged, this is where they belong.

So we will wait here for Crichton to return with Aeryn. And we will hope, and
we will pray, that they both come back to us intact... and alive.
¡The Ugly Truth [#39]
*o*Data/FSCP/Ugly.Iff
Talyn returned to us as suddenly as he had left. Moya's relief was so strong
that I found myself unable to sense anything other than her maternal
instincts: her concern that Crais had treated Talyn well, her sheer joy at
seeing her offspring once again, and her fear over the violent impulses she
detected within him.

Crais requested that several of us meet him aboard Talyn. He specified that
our crew should bring no weapons, and he promised that the meeting would be
conducted peaceably. Unbelievably, he appeared to be seeking our help.

Shortly after Officer Sun boarded Talyn, followed by Crichton, D'Argo, Zhaan,
and the former slave Stark, a Plokavians weapons trade ship approached their
coordinates and opened communication with Crais. Just a few microts later, the
Plokavian ship was destroyed - shot by an energy beam coming from Talyn's
forward cannon.

The crew retreated to the transport leaving Crais and Talyn to starburst
away. Meanwhile, a second Plokavian ship, determined to discover who was to
blame for the destruction of their associates' vessel, incapacitated the
group on the transport with a kind of shockwave and brought them aboard for
interrogation.

Chiana and Rygel felt we should stay and make an attempt to rescue the crew
from the Plokavians - a race known to be at once extremely violent and
passionately committed to bringing about justice - but Moya had alternate
designs. As this brief reunion with Talyn ended so disastrously, Moya was more
committed than ever to find him at all costs. So at her request I programmed a
search pattern, on the infinitesimal chance we would be able to catch up with
Talyn wherever his starburst had taken him.

Back on the Plokavian vessel, the crew was captive atop a solitary platform
high above a large open, empty space. One by one, each member was brought into
the audience of the Plokavians and asked to recount his or her view of the
events leading to the destruction of the weapons trade ship. If any of them
attempted to lie, all would be executed - but if the guilty party would
confess, only that person would be forced to face death by dispersal.

After the last testimony was heard, the Plokavians inquisitors came forward
with their verdict. Each crew members account of the events had been
different, leading them to believe they were being lied to by the crew.

With no one person willing to take the blame, the Plokavians decreed that only
one thing could be done. The entire crew would have to be put to death.
¡A Clockwork Nebari [#40]
*o*Data/FSCP/Clockwork.Iff
I am not sure if we will ever know if Stark was able to survive the Plokavian
dispersal, but even beyond that sacrifice he left a great legacy aboard Moya.
It was Stark who informed D'Argo that his son Jothee was alive, and it was
this information that led John, Aeryn, Chiana and Rygel out in pursuit of
further information regarding Jothee. However, to that end, Chiana entered
into her own particular breed of... negotiation with some men who proved to
be just a bit more than she could handle.

After they returned to Moya, Chiana was certain Aeryn would express her
displeasure at Chiana's uncanny ability to find - or cause - trouble. But when
she came to confront Chiana, rather than being enraged Aeryn appeared calm,
even apologetic for not being able to better protect the Nebari girl. This
entirely uncharacteristic behavior from Officer Sun alerted both Chiana and
John to the fact that Aeryn was affected by some sort of artificial influence,
and when they saw the companion she had brought aboard Moya, their suspicions
were confirmed.

A Nebari female named Varla had come aboard the ship, and had mind-cleansed
Aeryn and Rygel, leaving them in the same state of blissful idiocy we'd seen
from Durka over a cycle ago when Chiana was first brought aboard. Varla
incarcerated John and D'Argo while making preparations to clense them as well.
Apparently their mind-cleansing drugs could not affect my particular
physiology, so instead they cruelly locked me in a heavy collar with which
they could control me and... kill me should I decide not to obey their wishes.

Varla and her associate, Meelak, we learned, had come to try and gain
information from Chiana regarding Chiana's brother Nerri, whom Chiana had
believed to be dead when the life disk she carried in her stomach ceased to
transmit.

For the Nebari, despite their insistant espousal of a "greater good," for all,
were carrying out serious and terrifying plot. Nerri, they said, was part of a
resistance aimed to stop it.

Chiana explained that many cycles ago, she, Nerri, and others like them were
infected with a contagion during what they were told were "routine physical
examinations". This contagion - transmitted through intimate contact - was to
be spread throughout many alien systems in the area. When the Nebari were
ready it would be activated, rendering all who were infected weak and
defenseless against subsequent Nebari invasion.

Soon the entire crew with the exception of Chiana and myself were
mind-cleansed, leaving no one to stop Varla from her planned rendezvous with
the Nebari fleet.

Just when I was certain there would be no escape, Commander Crichton came to
me and informed me that he had been able to break through the drug-induced
mind-cleansing, and needed my help to rescue Chiana from the Nebari plot.

It would not be easy, though, with Aeryn, D'Argo and Zhaan - lulled into
complacency by the mind-cleansing - prowling Moya's corridors at the bidding
of our unwelcomed guests, determined to stop any activity not supported by the
Nebari. The DRDs had all been deactivated and if I tried to starburst away
from the planned rendezvous coordinates, the horrid collar I wore would surely
kill me. Despite John's best intentions, I feared Varla had us out-manuvered.

Able to effortlessly destroy Peacekeeper Command Carriers, kill free will and
now weaken the galaxy with a self-made plague, the Nebari were proving to be a
more dangerous force than any of us had reckoned. In the face of that, what
hope was there for a collared Pilot and a seemingly unbalanced human?
¡Liars, Guns and Money, Part 1 - "A Not So Simple Plan" [#41]
*o*Data/FSCP/liars1.Iff
I never doubted Zhaan. After three days of waiting at the coordinates she'd
named, the crew believed her intuition was in error and that she had only
imagined being contacted by Stark's spirit. But Zhaan insisted he would come,
and I never doubted her. When the image of Stark's face appeared from his face
mask and spoke to us, Zhaan's faith was vindicated.

We found Stark alive and in physical form aboard a small ship nearby. His
return was a dual blessing; his miraculous resurrection after the Truthseekers
executed him by molecular dispersal was welcome to us all, but the news he
bore was even greater - especially for Ka D'Argo.

Stark informed us that D'Argo's son, Jothee, was set to be sold in a lot of
ten thousand slaves at an auction and came bearing a plan that would allow the
crew to purchase the lot, Jothee included. If we were not all killed in the
process, that is.

Stark's plan - to rob a Shadow Depository to raise the money to purchase the
slaves - struck me as foolish and suicidal. At first the crew agreed with me,
but one by one they all became convinced to enlist in this scheme.

D'Argo, fearing that the crew would not be brave enough to carry out the plan,
took it upon himself to infiltrate the Shadow Depository alone... and was
promptly captured. With one of their own to recover, the crew began to plot
their own invasion of the bank.

The Delvian, pretending to be a client of the bank, requested a short-term
deposit box in which she stored a crate containing a sedated Rygel. The
Hynerian's mission upon waking up inside the bowels of the Depository was to
swap Zhaan's box for one containing a large amount of currency.

All seemed to go smoothly, until a new client arrived at the Depository...
Scorpius.

Crichton and Aeryn, from one of the Depository's control rooms, watched as
Scorpius changed the cooling rod in his brain. They realized that the cooling
device must be what allows Scorpius to balance the conflicting temperature
needs of his hybrid Scarran/Sebacean physiology. That revelation offered the
Human what he's long sought: a weakness in Scorpius that he could use to his
advantage.

Back aboard Moya, Crichton asked Zhaan to create a substance that would react
to heat and produce an explosion, hoping to use the substance against
Scorpius. Zhaan created a gel called Jelifan paste and promised the Human his
desired reaction.

Armed with the Jelifan paste, Crichton returned to the Depository, where Rygel
had fulfilled his role in this mad endeavor, swapping Zhaan's box for
Scorpius'.

Unfortunately, when the bank's proprietor, Natira, mentioned that a Delvian
woman had deposited the crates that were now keyed to Scorpius' code, he grew
suspicious. When Natira informed him that this Delvian traveled with a Nebari,
a Luxan and two Sebaceans, those suspicions were confirmed.

Crichton struggled to plant the Jelifan paste into Scorpius' cooling rod, but
the Scorpius Clone in the Human's brain fought to stop him. The Delivian, the
Nebari and the Hynerian hurried to leave the Depository with their plundered
currency, but time was growing short. Scorpius and Natira ordered the bank
locked down and placed on full alert - and I feared that the Human and his
secrets of wormhole technology had fallen into Scorpius' hands...
¡Liars, Guns and Money, Part 2 - "With Friends Like These" [#42]
*o*Data/FSCP/liars2.Iff
As always, the crew has made a bad situation worse. In order to raise enough
money to buy an auction lot of slaves that included D'Argo's son, Jothee, the
crew robbed a Shadow Depository - a high-security bank for criminals. And as
if that were not risky enough, they stole the deposit belonging to Scorpius,
who arrived at the depository as the plan was being carried out and very
nearly captured Crichton, who he has been chasing for more than a year.

We narrowly escaped and arrived at the auction to place our bid on the group
of 10,000 slaves. Unfortunately, Scorpius had deduced our plan and had already
purchased the lot and executed all of them except Jothee - who he offered to
release unharmed in exchange for Crichton.

The crew, of course, was unwilling to give Scorpius what he wanted, so they
came up with yet another dangerous scheme. They decided to use Scorpius' own
stolen money to hire mercenaries to rescue Jothee. But for the plan to work
they had to contact a number of our former enemies: the Vocarian
Bloodtrackers, for their sharp sense of smell; the Sheyang, for their ability
to spit fireballs; the Tavleks, for their strength-enhancing gauntlet weapons;
and the Zenetan Pirates, for their ship-neutralizing trap, The Flax.

Shortly after the Human, the Sebacean and the Luxan left to recruit our old
foes, Moya began experiencing severe metal fatigue, and neither she nor I
could determine why. It was Chiana who stumbled upon the cause quite by
accident: While she and the Hynerian were counting their new fortune, she
discovered the Borinium ingots they'd stolen from Scorpius were actually
parasites known as Karack Metalites, and they had awoken and begun eating
Moya. Natira, the administrator of the Shadow Depository, had planted the
Metalites to double-cross Scorpius but now we were the victims. With Moya in
agony, Zhaan searched for a way to remove the parasites, but there seemed no
way to do so without hurting Moya.

After much difficulty, the crew returned with their band of mercenaries, who
looked hardly capable of carrying out the plan Crichton had proposed. But even
more troubling was the fact that we no longer had any means of paying the
mercenaries - all the stolen currency was now running amok as parasites and
devouring Moya from within.

The situation seemed hopeless. The Karack Metalites were spreading through
Moya despite Zhann's efforts, the mercenaries were threatening mutiny, time
was running out for D'Argo's son, and Scorpius seemed prepared to do anything
to capture Crichton. I feared that no matter what happened, this time things
would end badly for us all...
¡Liars, Guns and Money, Part 3 - "Plan B" [#43]
*o*Data/FSCP/liars3.Iff
John Crichton had left us a message. He said he had grown unable to deal with
the Scorpius-presence in his brain, and had decided there was no choice but to
turn himself over to Scorpius to have the wormhole data removed. Crichton
hoped this act would somehow bring some good to the crew by leading to the
release of Jothee and reuniting Ka D'Argo with his son. Scorpius did release
Jothee, but there were those among the crew who thought the cost too great.
Crichton had long been a significant part of this crew, and Moya and I, as
well as Officer Sun and the rest of the crew, found it difficult to imagine
going on without him.

Officer Sun, deciding it would be foolish not to take advantage of the army of
mercenaries they'd assembled, told the militia that the goal had changed but
the plan had not. What had begun as a rescue mission for Jothee would still be
a rescue mission... for Crichton. She promised the militia enough wealth from
the Shadow Depository to make them all rich, and we hoped that that would be
sufficient enticement to retain their cooperation.

Meanwhile, Moya was still in great pain from the ignited drexan vapor that had
burned and wounded nearly a ninth of her total body mass. Though it had been
the only way to rid the ship of the Karack Metalites, the cost to Moya, and
the agony she felt was almost beyond description. We tried to present a brave
front to the crew, but Zhaan and the others sensed our pain.

Fortunately for Moya, her offspring Talyn sensed it from across a great
distance, and came to share nutrients from his own physiology to help heal
his mother.

At the Shadow Depository, Scorpius and Natira tortured Crichton, preparing him
for the removal of the wormhole data. On Moya, Aeryn asked Crais to help
rescue Crichton, but it seemed Crais had put his warfaring days behind him,
and he refused, saying he would not allow Talyn to be party to violence. Moya
and I would never admit it, knowing what was at stake, but Moya was very
pleased that her son would not be used for war.

Aeryn set out to execute her plan, with the help of Stark and his blueprints
of the Depository. All the mercenaries were in place and ready to proceed with
the rescue, when Rorf, the Blood Tracker, was captured and interrogated by
Scorpius.

With Scorpius now aware of the plan, it seemed all was lost. Zhaan, Stark, and
Turak, the Sheyang - unaware of Rorf's confessional - continued on their
mission to take out the Depository's generator... and found themselves walking
into an ambush.

Crichton remained chained up and at Natira's mercy, while the rest of the crew
in the Depository met Scorpius' resistance at every step. With Moya so
weakened and Crais unwilling to resort to violence, it seemed there was no
amount of lying, guns or borinium ingots that could save Crichton and the
crew.
¡Die Me, Dichotomy [#44]
*o*Data/FSCP/dieme.Iff
We were filled with great hope. After risking our lives during the attack on
the Shadow Depository, we at last had Crichton back among us, D'Argo was
reunited with his son, and we had enough currency to compensate those who had
helped us along the way.

With Crais and Talyn's assistance, we located a Diagnosan - a member of a
healer species who would likely be able to repair the damage caused to Moya by
the ignited drexan vapor. And better still, the Diagnosan's assistant Grunchlk
suggested that the healer might also be able to remove the Scorpius-clone from
Crichton's brain... for the right price. With our newly acquired currency, we
set off for the Diagnosan's laboratory, where the surgery would take place.

While en route, Aeryn came across Crichton in the Moya's Neural Cluster. He
claimed to be doing repairs, staying busy as a way to keep the Scorpius Clone
in check. She was ready to believe him, but it seemed the Scorpius Clone could
not be held at bay any longer. Entirely under Scorpius' influence, Crichton
lashed out and attacked Aeryn, knocking her unconscious. He then attempted to
use Moya's sensors to direct Scorpius right to us.

Fortunately, D'Argo was able to apprehend him before he did any damage. It was
disturbing having one of our own trying to work against us, and we hoped that
the Diagnosan would be able to cure John.

When we finally reached the Diagnosan and he examined Crichton, Grunchlk
informed us, regretfully, that without a compatible donor graft there would be
no way to operate on Crichton's brain.

In the Diagnosan's laboratory, Grunchlk kept a cache of bodies to use as organ
and tissue donors. After searching, he managed to locate a species close
enough to Crichton's human physiology to make it a compatible donor.

In the meantime, the Diagnosan anesthetized Moya. The effect of the drug on
her nervous system - and mine - was somewhat embarrassing; we grew inebriated,
intoxicated - in short, as Chiana said, it made us "high".

And I wonder, if we had not been under the drug's influence, if Moya and I
might have been able to help with the next turn of events.

For Crichton was not himself. The Scorpius Clone had entirely taken over his
brain, and Crichton set out in his Farscape Module to broadcast Moya's
location to the real Scorpius.

Refusing to let Crichton, or Scorpius-Crichton, go through with this, Aeryn
pursued in her prowler. Scorpius-Crichton would not be dissuaded from his
mission, nor could our John Crichton break through Scorpius' control. Aeryn
knew that Crichton would not want to live this way, but Scorpius-Crichton
doubted that Aeryn would fire on her friend John.

He should have known better than to doubt a former Peacekeeper of the Pleisar
regiment.

To the horror of all of us on Moya, a battle began.

After several minutes of aerial combat, Aeryn believed she had won, and she
ordered Scorpius-Crichton to land his craft. We should have known by the fact
that he was so cooperative that Scorpius had not conceded victory that easily.
He did land his craft - right on top of Aeryn's prowler, puncturing the hull
of her ship.

In the cruel atmosphere of the ice planet they orbited, Aeryn was forced to
abandon ship. She broke away from the prowler in her ejector seat, and
plummeted to the icy ground below.

As the surface drew closer, Aeryn informed us that yet another thing had gone
wrong. Scorpius-Crichton's attack had fused shut her ejector seat, preventing
her from separating from the heavy chair before landing. The ground below her
proved to be the surface of a frozen lake, and with the weight of the chair
dragging her down, Aeryn crashed through the ice - and drowned.

We held a memorial service to honor the life of our dear Officer Sun. Crichton
had regained control of his consciousness for the time being, and was appalled
at what he had done. I did not care if it was Scorpius or Crichton who
destroyed the prowler; I was appalled at them both, and not sure if I would
be able to forgive either one for Aeryn's death.

Now, Crichton was determined to have the Scorpius-Clone removed from his
brain, even if it cost him his life.
¡Season Of Death [#45]
*o*Data/FSCP/sdeath.Iff
After the death of Officer Sun, a dark cloud hung over us all. With Crichton
still in surgery and each member of Moya's crew quietly deliberating over what
his or her next move would be, it was a strange time for Moya and myself. We
had given Aeryn's body to Grunchlk to preserve until we were able to give her
a proper Peacekeeper burial in space.

We were shocked and forced to pull together when Rygel returned to the
Diagnosan's lab and found Tocot unconscious - and Crichton on the operating
table, unable to speak. Rygel summoned the rest of us to relay the news, and
immediately Zhaan and the others insisted upon going to help.

D'Argo, Zhaan and Stark arrived at the Diagnosan's laboratory to find Grunchlk
wounded. He informed them that Scorpius had come, had retrieved the wormhole
technology from Crichton's brain, and had left hours earlier.

We were suspicious, but there was nothing on Moya's sensors to suggest that
Scorpius' command carrier was in the area - and when Crais and Talyn arrived,
they confirmed that Talyn's sensors also detected no sign of Scorpius.

After helping Tocot regain consciousness, Zhaan joined in Unity with Crichton
and discovered that the Scorpius clone still had a presence in Crichton's
brain, despite the fact that the chip and all its tendrils were gone. Thinking
that the merciful thing to do would be to help Crichton cross over to death -
to free him from Scorpius once and for all - Zhaan tried to end Crichton's
life. And, while I do trust the instincts of Pa'u Zhaan, in this case, I am
thankful that D'Argo did not let her go through with it.

Zhaan and Stark continued to press for a merciful death for Crichton. D'Argo,
unable to listen to their entreaties any longer, sent them from the operating
room and implored the Diagnosan to restore Crichton's powers of speech.

While exiled from Crichton's side, Zhaan and Stark explored the facility and
found the body of Officer Sun suspended in one of the cryochambers. Zhaan
noticed that Aeryn's vital signs suggested that she was frozen while still
barely alive - possibly because Grunchlk had preserved her as a source of
spare parts (and future revenue). Zhaan also sensed that Aeryn's spirit was
not truly gone, that the preservation of her body had left her trapped between
life and death. Believing she could use her own life-force to save Aeryn,
Zhaan sought to join with her in Unity. When Stark tried to stop her, Zhaan
rendered him unconscious.

Meanwhile, the Diagnosan restored Crichton's powers of speech, and Crichton
and D'Argo waited in the operating room for Zhaan and Stark to return so they
could all return together to Moya.

They did not wait long. When Zhaan and Stark didn't respond to their comms,
Crichton and D'Argo decided to go after them - but when they opened the door
to the laboratory, they were greeted by a Scarran. Crichton and D'Argo fled
outside, hoping that the bitter cold weather and heavy snowfall would slow him
down and give them a chance to escape alive.

While D'Argo and Crichton fled from the Scarran, Zhaan entered into Unity with
Aeryn who was farther gone than Zhaan had thought. Bringing her back to life
would be costly. Still, Zhaan tried, struggling to convince Aeryn to accept
her gift of life-force and return to the people who love her.

As Crichton and D'Argo ran from the murderous Scarran and Zhaan prepared to
rescue Aeryn, we seemed on the verge of losing everything - and we still had
no idea where Scorpius was, or when he might return to destroy us all...
¡Suns And Lovers [#46]
*o*Data/FSCP/sunlove.Iff
Our first indication that something was wrong should have been that both
Chiana and Rygel chose not to join the others on a shopping expedition to a
commerce station.

Rygel spent his time in command learning to use a portable viewing shell to
spy on activity in other areas of Moya. At first I thought Rygel's new hobby
was a bit rude but basically harmless; but when the DRDs informed me that he
was observing Chiana and Jothee having sex in the freezer pod chamber, I'll
admit, I would have been more comfortable not knowing about either activity,
his or theirs.

The crew know the DRDs have ears; they know I am aware of all that goes on
throughout Moya. So I am in no position to scold Rygel for spying. But I wish
Chiana and Jothee had shown better judgment.

Meanwhile, Crichton, Aeryn, Zhaan and Stark had gone to the commerce station
to spend the currency we'd acquired at the Shadow Depository. Once they were
on the station, however, a terrible gamma disturbance emerged from a nearby
nebula, and the station sustained heavy damage when the storm hit.

The crew immediately began to assist people on the station who were injured in
the storm, and to search for survivors in the wreckage. D'Argo searched for
other surviving vessels, and found only one: a derelict craft of unknown
origin, which we brought aboard Moya. I then began making preparations for
Moya's departure - only to discover she had become tangled in the station's
docking cables.

In the midst of this chaos, two unusual events occurred. The first: the
awakening of one of the Interions, a male who remained conscious for a few
microts then suddenly collapsed and died. The second: Jothee, for no
discernible reason, took a bath.

Crichton wanted to know why the station's sensors offered no advance warning
of the storm, so he asked me to analyze the readings from Moya's sensors.
Crichton's suspicions were correct: the first storm had made a ninety-degree
turn to hit the station. And to make matters worse, another storm was now
heading towards us, much more powerful than the first. This new storm would
destroy the already damaged station - and Moya with it.

Chiana, who was busy sealing Moya's ruptured hatches, discovered that one of
the commerce station's lower pods was a nursery full of children, and it was
cut off from the rest of the facility. Aeryn and Crichton began seeking an
alternate passage to the nursery to rescue the children. Crichton and Aeryn
became separated in the lower reaches of the structure, and Aeryn continued on
alone in her effort to reach the children in time.

Crichton returned to the bar, where Zhaan tried to help the injured bartender.
Crichton spoke to an alien woman named Borlik, who tried to convince him that
the storms were the result of a curse set upon the station by gods who were
angered by the buying and selling that took place there.

Regardless of what was causing of the disturbances, as the second storm drew
closer it became clear that something was drawing it toward the station - it
had increased in both speed and power and would reach us within an arn. The
signal could be coming from anywhere on the station, so Stark and Crichton
used Moya's DRDs to seek it out quickly. And they were able to narrow the
search to the bar - and then to Borlik herself.

Borlik began to chant, then she rose into the air. A bio-magnetic force kept
her stuck to a reactor coolant pipe made of hydrohonium steel, and there
seemed to be no safe way to remove her without killing us all. And all this
time, the mysterious energy emanating from her body was drawing the storm
directly toward us.

Crichton formed a plan: he would use a larger quantity of hydrohonium steel to
pull Borlik away from the pipe, bring her aboard Moya, and fly her away from
the station, drawing the storm away with us. I began searching Moya's
inventory for the needed metal, but we wouldn't be able to leave until Moya
was freed from the station's tangled docking cables. And now there was another
problem:

D'Argo was the only crewmember with the strength and skill to remove them, but
he had discovered Chiana and Jothee's affair and was now utterly despondent -
and inebriated - and he refused to do what must be done to save us all. Unless
Crichton could motivate D'Argo, free Moya, lure Borlik off the ceiling and
trap her, and draw the storm away from the station, we would all certainly die
in the next half-arn...
¡Self Inflicted Wounds, Part 1 - "Could'a Would'a Should'a" [#47]
*o*Data/FSCP/self1.iff
Yo Dad,

Today I got myself and Moya and the crew in some seriously deep dren - but let
me back up.

Doing her Unity thing to save Aeryn really drained Zhaan. At first I didn't
get how serious it was, but it only took one look at Stark's face to
understand that Zhaan was in really bad shape, that she was going to die
unless we did something quick.

As a plant-based lifeform, Zhaan needed to be buried in special soil in order
to heal, so we set off looking for a healthy planet to plant her in. On the
way, though - yeah, that's where I frelled up.

Pilot found a wormhole. O.K., Moya found a wormhole, but Pilot brought it to
my attention, and - stupid, stupid me - I suggested we take a detour and check
it out. I knew Zhaan was in trouble, I knew it would put Moya and the crew at
risk, but, come on, it was a wormhole, and for all I knew, Earth coulda been
at the other end.

Except, BOOM! And next thing we know, this wacko alien ship comes out of the
wormhole and shoots right through Moya like an arrow and gets stuck there.
Moya and Pilot are telling us it hurts like hell, Pilot's nauseous and
throwing up all over Stark's shoes, and Aeryn and I are trying some gun-barrel
diplomacy with the aliens from the new ship, who can't understand a word we're
saying.

We finally get a DRD to shoot up the aliens' commander with translator
microbes, but at this point, Pilot's unconscious and Moya's not looking too
good herself.

The alien woman introduces herself as Pathfinder Neeyala, and she seems
cooperative enough - she's a scientist and an explorer like me, and a bit more
rational than our usual brand of "close encounter." She explains that both our
ships are trapped in the wall of a wormhole - which is a really rough ride,
and not where you want to be. Neeyala's ship has some device called a
"Phaztillion Generator" that she says can get us out of here and back into
real space, but first someone has to go outside the ship and figure out where
"here" is by using this thing that looks like a melted Rubik's Cube and is
supposed to record signals and images while we do a few laps inside the
wormhole.

This is all my mess, so of course I volunteer and power-up Farscape One. Since
I need someone small to sit behind me and hold Neeyala's gizmo while I do the
Wormhole 500, I grab my pal Buckwheat - and I find out he's been causing
trouble, too. He's unsealed the hatch to the last one of the cryopods, and now
we gotta watch another Interion wake up, cough black goo and die.

Except this one - a chick named Jool - only goes one for three. She wakes up,
disses me and Rygel, and then, when she learns her family is dead, she belts
out a Robert Plant-style screech that damn near knocked my teeth out. I
couldn't deal with that, so I grabbed Rygel and set off in the Farscape module
to help Neeyala calibrate her Fatso-Long Generator Doohickey.

Spanky and I snapped some candids of the universe and Neeyala got her phaser
thingamajig calibrated, but by the time we got back Pilot was in pretty bad
shape, and it doesn't look like he's going to regain consciousness. Moya's
literally falling apart from the stress of being in the wormhole, and Zhaan -
every microt that goes by that she's not in the ground, she gets that much
closer to death.

Wanna hear the kicker? No sooner do we get this gadget of Neeyala's ready to
rock when she tells us only one of our two ships can survive the return to
normal space. And with Moya frelled up like this, there's almost no way she
can make it. So not only have I likely cost Zhaan her life, I've probably
killed Pilot and Moya, too.

And it's my fault, damn it, for taking Moya off course to go check out this
frelling wormhole. Yessiree, dad: your son John Crichton's in rare form
today...
¡Self Inflicted Wounds, Part 2 - "Wait For The Wheel" [#48]
*o*Data/FSCP/self2.iff
With Moya fused to Neeyala's ship and both crafts careening through the wall
of the wormhole, Crichton, Aeryn, Zhaan, Chiana, D'Argo, and Rygel were
prepared to abandon me and Moya to our deaths. Had I been conscious, I could
have told them that the pattern of Moya's injuries suggested something other
than simple wormhole damage. But I was not conscious.

I understand I should be grateful, then, that the wormhole serpent made its
attack in my den. Aeryn says that without the mysterious blood left behind
after the serpent vanished, no one would have discovered the true reason for
Moya's seemingly unstoppable degeneration. Zhaan insisted that the blood
belonged to one of Neeyala's crewmembers, even though Crichton had not seen
anyone else present when the snake attacked. From this discrepancy they
realized that the wormhole was not killing Moya nearly as fast as Neeyala's
crew, turned invisible by their Phaztillon Generator, was sabotaging her.

Learning that Moya's damage was neither natural or inevitable, everyone
renewed their efforts to save her. Rygel's quest beneath my den for the body
of the snake's victim was, alone, worthy of epic poetry - if I am to believe
His Eminence. Meanwhile Stark discovered that a second saboteur, Kreetago, was
still attacking Moya, and Neeyala refused to reveal his whereabouts. Kreetago
shot Chiana with one of his poisoned needles before D'Argo was able to kill
him. Chiana nearly died, but, as Rygel has continued to remind me, Zhaan used
a sample of the poison from the snake's victim to make the antibody serum that
saved Chiana's life.

With the threat of sabotage removed, Crichton and Aeryn planned our escape. As
it was explained to me, when Neeyala's Phaztillon Generator was fully charged,
the two ships would be forced apart. Following this separation, whichever ship
was correctly aligned would fly through the wormhole's center to safety, while
the other would slam through the wormhole's wall to normal space and instant
dissolution. Crichton and Aeryn realized that a burst of Starburst immediately
after the separation could align Moya correctly, leaving Neeyala's ship to
destruction.

But for this to work, Crichton and the others would first have to reconnect
the severed synapses in Moya's neural clusters; survive the escalating attacks
of the wormhole serpent; endure the screams of our new arrival, Jool (I am
amazed her voice alone did not jolt me awake); combat Neeyala's grim
determination to save her own ship; and somehow awaken me from my comatose
state.

And even assuming they accomplished all this, a worse task remained.

Someone would have to trigger the Phaztillon Generator on Neeyala's ship
manually... a simple task that would nonetheless condemn whoever performed it
to death: quantum dispersal along with the alien ship.

I awoke into this chaos, flooded with Moya's distress as well as mine. I could
now continue this story based on my own memories, not on what the others have
told me. But the events that followed are still too painful to put into words.
¡...Different Destinations [#49]
*o*Data/FSCP/difdest.iff
Even if we did not speak of it, we mourned the loss of Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan, and
our longing to ease our pain brought us to the ruins of an old monastery.
There, a memorial shrine stood, which commemorated the bravery of Peacekeepers
- for once seeming to act in accordance with their name - who died defending
Jacacean nurses from the brutal, invading Venek Horde, who had laid seige to
the nurses' compound.

History records - well, used to record - that Peacekeeper Sub-Officer Dacon
was particularly brave, as it was Dacon's heroic death that enabled the Venek
commander, General Grynes, to offer a truce. The idea that merciless, cruel
Peacekeepers were instrumental in achieving actual peace struck all of us save
former PK Aeryn Sun as something of an irony.

Crichton, Aeryn, D'Argo, Jool and Stark had gone down to visit the memorial,
while I monitored repairs to Moya's condensers. On board, Chiana, Rygel, and I
realized something was wrong when I received a communication from the planet
in the Venek language. This was perplexing, as the Veneks had abandoned the
planet hundreds of cycles ago. Then, I received a frantic call from Jool, who
was exclaiming that the memorial had changed and was now hung with Venek
banners. When we brought her aboard, she showed us a terrible wound on her
arm, and she explained what had happened.

Built around a tear in time's fabric, the memorial could show visitors the
monastery's famous history, if one wore a special visor. Hoping this triumph
of peace would bring comfort to Stark, who especially mourned Zhaan, Crichton
had urged him to look at the past. Somehow, Stark's interaction with the tear
threw Crichton, Aeryn, D'Argo and Jool back in time, at the precise moment of
the Venek attack. Within microts, Jool was shot by a flaming Venek arrow.
Quickly, Stark sought the time-tear and D'Argo pushed Jool into it, with the
rest planning to follow. But history had somehow been changed, and the tear
closed up after Jool passed through it.

I checked computer records, which confirmed that the presence of Crichton and
the others in the past was distorting our present. The planet's population was
now drastically reduced, and its history files now spoke of a massive war,
instead of a truce.

Meanwhile, the group worked to restore the timeline. When Crichton discovered
that the Venek commander, General Grynes, was a prisoner in the compound, he
tried to sneak him over the wall so that the general would be free to broker
the truce. But just as Grynes was escaping, one of the Jocaceans, Nurse Kelsa,
shot and killed him. Outside, the Veneks screamed for blood to avenge their
general and announced that they would attack at dawn and slaughter all within
the monastery.

Crichton insisted to Aeryn and D'Argo that the timeline could still be
restored if Sub-Officer Dacon still sacrificed himself. But with the timeline
so muddied, Aeryn and D'Argo were not convinced. Regardless, our friends were
still trapped in the past, in a compound under seige, and expecting to perish
in the morning.

Of course on Moya, we had no way of knowing what new history was being made
500 cycles back. We could only watch as the planet changed before our very
eyes from a green, living place to one utterly dead, burning with radiation
from a conflict so massive that no life whatsoever had survived. And a short
while later, the planet itself disappeared entirely.

It would seem our accidental time-travelers had reshaped history in a manner
that resulted in the loss of billions of lives - very possibly including their
own.
¡Eat Me [#50]
*o*Data/FSCP/eatme.iff
I'm still not sure why Jool's mishandling of the controls caused such
catastrophic damage to the transport pod in which she, Crichton, D'Argo, and
Chiana were flying. What matters is that they managed to steer the crippled
pod toward a Leviathan - and were shocked to realize that it was not Moya. It
was a completely different ship, restrained by a Peacekeeper control collar.
With the pod dying, Crichton insisted that they enter this strange Leviathan.
Steeled to face Peacekeepers there, the four were instead attacked by a pack
of ravenous creatures.

After fighting these beasts off, Crichton and D'Argo went to scavenge the
narium coils and threekay wire they needed for repairs, leaving Chiana and
Jool at the pod. In the abandoned corridors, they found more of the strange
creatures, as well as the dreadful sights and smells of a dying, decaying
Leviathan, but no explanation for what had happened to the ship. At the pod,
Chiana set out to find another replacement part, leaving Jool to begin a dark,
lonely vigil armed only with a pulse rifle she did not know how to use.

The perversion Crichton next discovered sickens me beyond telling. It was the
Leviathan's Pilot, utterly traumatized, missing several arms. The creatures
were eating the regenerable limbs as fast as they grew. Worse, the Pilot was
not the victim of mere unthinking animals: A sentient being was behind this
cruelty. His name was Kaarvok, and, before Crichton and Chiana's horrified
eyes, he killed D'Argo and sucked out the Luxan's brain.

Aeryn, Rygel, Stark, and I knew nothing of this. To our surprise, Moya had
unexpectedly entered starburst. However, she seldom takes initiative without
cause, and upon emerging from starburst we found Talyn drifting before us.
Aeryn explored the severely injured ship and found Captain Crais aboard,
unconscious. Apparently another ship had battered Talyn - a sobering thought,
given Talyn's own considerable firepower. Though Rygel wanted to flee before
the attacker returned, the rest of us supported Moya's wish to stay and care
for her wounded offspring.

On the dying Leviathan, Crichton and Chiana solemnly burned D'Argo's body.
Then, calmed by Crichton, the wounded ship's Pilot explained that this
Leviathan, Rovhu, was a prison ship assigned to the transfer of Kaarvok, who
was criminally insane. When the ship was attacked by Scarrans and left to
drift, Kaarvok escaped and made Rovhu his. Since then, he had allowed his
mysterious creatures - the Xarai - to feed on Rovhu and Rohvu's Pilot. He
himself had more... exotic tastes.

Kaarvok's next assault took Crichton and Chiana by surprise. Leaving Crichton
unconscious, Kaarvok hunted down the fleeing Chiana. When Crichton woke up, he
found the Xarai feasting upon Chiana's corpse. In despair, he could only
assume that Jool was dead as well - and that he was next.

I am almost glad that Moya and I did not know of these events. Though I doubt
Moya would have abandoned her own offspring to help a stranger, facing such a
decision would have been wrenching for us both. Even now, we ache to think of
their pain, and it chills me to realize that we encountered two brutalized
Leviathans in one solar day. I do not like to think that cruelty of such
magnitude may be so commonplace.
¡Thanks For Sharing [#51]
*o*Data/FSCP/thankshare.iff
I had high hopes when we arrived at the planet Kanvia. Its dense nelvastatic
atmosphere would hide us from the scans of Talyn's as-yet unknown attackers,
and Chromextin - a stimulant we needed to heal Talyn - was available on the
planet's surface. While Moya sustained her offspring through transfusion,
D'Argo, Chiana, and Rygel went to purchase the Chromextin.

My hopes dimmed after D'Argo and Chiana got into a brawl with Rinic Tolven,
the planet's powerful Security Director, who immediately blocked the
Chromextin sale. Still, our side possessed a skilled negotiator. I was
optimistic that Rygel could persuade Kanvia's Sovereign, Rinic Pralanoth -
Tolven's father - of our honest and peaceful need for Chromextin.

As we waited for the outcome of Rygel's meeting, Crais finally awoke and
provided some grim inforamtion. Talyn had been attacked by four Prowlers and a
Peacekeeper Vigilante ship, armed with Immobilizer Pulse. It injured him so
severely that Talyn barely managed to starburst and escape.

Aeryn recognized that Talyn's attackers were an elite Peacekeeper Retrieval
Squad, sent to recapture the gunship. They would not stop until Talyn was
theirs - and if they captured Moya, they would not hesitate to use her to
coerce Talyn's surrender. It was dangerous for the two Leviathans to remain
together, but for the moment, we had no choice.

Speeding Talyn's recovery with Chromextin was now critical. But we realized
Rygel's negotiating skills had failed when we saw a burst of concussion
missiles launched at us from the planet. The distrustful Pralanoth had
authorized Tolven to attack us. Since we dared not break orbit for fear of the
nearby Retrieval Squad, Crichton - both of them, actually - urged us to fly
lower and target Kanvia's government house with Talyn's inoperative gun.

To distinguish between both Crichtons, at Officer Sun's suggestion one was
given a green shirt while the other remained in his original black garments.
This proved helpfull, as they both drove us all mad with their senseless
bickering over who was the original.

This bluff worked, and Pralanoth agreed to re-open negotiations. This time
Crichton[Black] met with him, insisting that we posed no threat. Pralanoth
believed this only after subjecting Crichton[Black] to the dangerous mind scan
of a strannat - a creature capable of sensing lies... and killing the liar.

I was relieved when Pralanoth approved the sale, but naturally my renewed
optimism was premature. Rinic Sarova, Tolven's sister, demanded a secret
meeting with Crichton[Black]. She began to explain that Tolven would block the
Chromextin shipments as a political maneuver - but suddenly, a bomb tore apart
the room, leaving her and Crichton[Black] seriously injured.

D'Argo, Chiana, and Rygel brought Crichton[Black] back to Moya, where he might
have died of blood loss if there had not been a perfectly matched donor on
board. I suspect at this moment the two Crichton's finally began to see that
their situation was not without its benefits.

Their was an immediate benefit for us as well. Pralanoth had cut off our
Chromextin shipment because he suspected that Crichton[Black] had been present
at, and responsible for, the bombing. The Sovereign was thus mystified when an
uninjured Crichton[Green] testified truthfully, under the watchful senses of
the strannat, that he was uninvolved. Once again Pralanoth approved the
Chromextin delivery, and at last Rygel and Chiana began administering the
stimulant to Talyn.

To our horror, he became drastically worse. The Chromextin was poisoned.

Crichton[Black] blamed the Retrieval Squad; Crichton[Green] blamed Tolven.
Regardless, we had enemies on either side: the Peacekeepers above us, and
Kanvia with its missiles below. Unless we could somehow make Talyn well enough
to starburst, we were trapped.
¡Green Eyed Monster [#52]
*o*Data/FSCP/green.iff
Even before Talyn got swallowed by the Budong, it was a rotten day. I was
pissed at dear Captain Bialar Crais, and between DRDs stalking me and Wynonna
going AWOL, I had reason to be. Turned out most of it wasn't Crais' fault. But
I'm fast-forwarding.

Rewind to the part where Talyn got swallowed by a Budong.

I was expressing my frustration to Crais - okay, I was yelling - when I saw
the Budong approaching. It was big, like super-sized Moby Dick big. Before we
could react, the thing's mouth snapped shut with us inside.

Once inside, we were basically doomed, as Budongs are basically gargantuan,
unstoppable eating machines, and little is known about them because - no one
ever survives an encounter with a Budong.

Of course all the while we were having our Discovery Channel moment, the ship
wasn't stable and was still sliding down this creature's throat. To stop it, I
went EVA and tethered iridium alloy cables to the mooring points on Talyn's
skin. Aeryn and I hooked the other end of the cables onto some Tak-Five
torpedoes and launched them into the Budong. This stopped the slide and we
were temporarily safe somewhere in the digestive tract, above the stomach.

I figured the day couldn't get worse. Then, when I went looking for Crais in
his quarters, I discovered a home movie of his. Before, I'd noticed him and
Aeryn swapping some weird looks. And he'd thrown me the skunk eye more than
once since I came on board. Still, I wasn't prepared for what I saw on that
vid chip...

A short while later, I found Aeryn and Crais together on the bridge. They had
a plan: escape the Budong by navigating its digestive tract. To add some extra
unpleasant zing, Aeryn was going to accept a neural transponder from Talyn.
She and Crais insisted that this was necessary for the success of the escape.
But it also meant she'd link into a mental relationship with the gunship - and
with Crais, who, of course, already had a transponder himself.

Maybe it's me, but I'm not a fan of metallic objects stabbing into people's
brains. Aeryn and I had a disagreement - okay, we yelled at each other. A lot.
Then she went ahead and did it anyway.

Aeryn's new connection with Talyn allowed her to re-establish contact with
Rygel and Stark, who had returned from their recon mission in the transport
pod and were hiding outside. Stark (surprise) freaked when he learned where we
were. He insisted that Talyn couldn't survive the monster's digestive tract.
Hearing this, Talyn panicked. Meanwhile, Crais was falling apart, suffering
what he called cybernetic bleed-back. The stress of keeping his own emotions
and desires separate from Talyn's was almost overwhelming him. Great, what
would this mean for Aeryn?

The gunship, through the bleed-back, forced Crais to start manually
disconnecting the mooring cables. I stopped Crais, but Talyn was so berserk
that Aeryn had to knock him out.

Then Stark called with his Big Plan.

He would tempt the Budong into eating ice from the planet's rings. Meanwhile,
we'd jettison cesium fuel and set off one of the Tak-Five torpedoes. Ignition
source plus cesium plus water equals explosion. Meaning we'd surf out the
Budong's mouth on a wave of puke. (This plan could only be one of ours.)

My part was to go EVA again and set the torpedo that was lodged in the
Budong's gullet for a time-delayed explosion. I was out there, doing my job,
when Talyn took off. Leaving me stranded. Just like Jonah.

Except that Jonah's whale wasn't about to explode.
¡Losing Time [#53]
*o*Data/FSCP/lostime.iff
After 10 solar days of indulging Crichton's tedious - and fruitless - wormhole
quest, I was startled to find myself almost wishing for the stimulation of a
crisis. Still, I would never have wished for what happened next.

Shortly after we passed through an apparently benign electro-magnetic cluster,
Crichton began insisting he had bled from nonexistent wounds. The crew and I
suspected that Crichton's recent lack of sleep was causing him to hallucinate.
I even speculated that perhaps his DNA had been damaged during his "twinning"
aboard Kaarvok's ship. Regardless, I doubted that his troubles had anything to
do with the electro-magnetic cluster.

My doubt disappeared abruptly when an energy being from the cluster seized
violent possession of my body. The being, called Tallip, was pursuing a young
member of its species. The child had slipped aboard Moya and into a member of
the crew. Unlike normal members of the species, who enjoyed brief, harmless
"sips" of passersby, this child was diseased. It had no intention of
relinquishing its hold on a physical body, even if the body's rightful owner
died as a result. Tallip was determined to destroy this diseased "energy
rider." To do this, it needed to borrow a corporeal body; as the most advanced
creature on board, I was its logical choice.

Tallip began hunting for the alien invader discretely, which caused the crew
to experience missing time but accomplished little else. Tallip decided to
intensify its efforts just as Crichton and the crew arrived in my den to find
me possessed. The being within me was now prepared to "taste" each of them
individually - a process that was potentially deadly. And I could certainly
testify that it was painful.

Crichton and D'Argo forced Tallip to release me just long enough to confirm
Tallip's story, which I did. Tallip then explained that the person possessed
might not remember personal details. If, using this clue, the crew could find
the rider on its own, everyone could be spared the dangerous "tasting"
process.

I wasn't surprised to hear later that the search did not go smoothly. Jool
suspected Crichton, since he had shown symptoms first. D'Argo and Crichton
suspected Chiana until she grudgingly revealed her brother's name. Chiana
announced that Jool was possessed when Jool's personal history didn't mesh
with what she'd told us before.

Tallip, impatient, tasted Jool. The process nearly killed her, and yielded
inconclusive results.

Communicating through a DRD, an increasingly desperate Moya led Crichton and
Chiana to the Starburst Primary Reaction Chamber below the Neural Cluster.
There, she had them initiate a miniature flash of Starburst. In the residual
energy, Crichton glimpsed the rider possessing Chiana.

The exposed rider begged for help, insisting that Tallip was the cruel one,
not it. Crichton wasn't sure whether to believe this rider or not.
Nonetheless, he and D'Argo offered Tallip a compromise: if Tallip returned to
the cluster, they would reveal where the rider was hiding. Tallip, who was
becoming dangerously comfortable in my body, rejected this idea and tasted
D'Argo instead.

Meanwhile, Jool hunted down Chiana and betrayed her to Tallip. The rider in
Chiana fought viciously, attacking both Jool and Crichton, before Tallip
finally killed it.

Chiana was free, but our problems were far from over. Impressed with my mind
and body, Tallip now refused to leave - ever.
¡Relativity [#54]
*o*Data/FSCP/relativity.iff
Talyn, still limping from his brush with the PK Retrieval Squad, needed to
find a safe place to hole up for a while, and we found a pretty good one. It
was some sort of chia-planet covered in the most amazing vines I've ever seen.
Once Talyn landed, these plants grew fast enough to hide him from view within
a few arns and the bonus was they had these cool healing properties to speed
his recovery. With Talyn powered down to recuperate, there was nothing for us
to do but wait.

This suited me and Aeryn just fine.

We were doing the kinda waiting where you don't want interruptions when the
Retrieval Squad tracked Talyn to the planet. Bad timing. Bad news. Not only
was the Squad out to capture Talyn, it was also commanded by Senior Officer
Xhalax Sun. A.K.A. Aeryn's mom.

Crais, Aeryn, and I hiked it into the jungle. Our plan was to play Rambo loud
enough to divert PK attention from our hidden gunship. Stark and Rygel stayed
behind to try to keep Talyn calm. I say "try" because, well, we're talking
about Stark and Rygel here. "Calm" isn't exactly their strong suit.

Health benefits for Talyn aside, the planet for the rest of us was like hell,
only worse. Its gravity and temperature were cranked to the max. Toxic gas
poured out of vents like helium out of a Hynerian. Even the fruit was scary.
(Acid-filled. No joke.)

The Retrieval Squad followed us, with a vengeance. After an intense firefight,
we ended up separated and lost. So I didn't know if Aeryn was having a
heartwarming reunion with Xhalax or if she was dead.

I found Crais, and he had this big, gaping wound in his back. Crais warned
that Xhalax had a pair of Colartas - big ugly critters, expert trackers. They
would trace the bloody trail in no time. Hearing that, I was kinda tempted to
ditch el capitan. Instead, I dumped the acid from one of those Oarusk fruits
onto the wound. There was some hollering and the smell of seared, Sebacean
flesh, but it did the trick.

Meanwhile, Aeryn had found her mother. Or, at least, she'd found Xhalax; Momma
turned out to be a cold-blooded killer who considered her daughter a disgrace.

I'm sure that moment would have made Jerry Springer proud, but I missed it
because Crais and I were still lost and the Colartas were on our heels.
Luckily, I found some slime with a reek would've made even Rygel weep. We
smeared it on to mask our scent.

Momentarily safe but completely exhausted, Crais passed out. But before I
could enjoy the quiet, the Scorpy in my head decided that this was his kinda
party, and showed up to announce the complete non-revelation that Crais was
hiding something. I can't believe it took me that long to figure it out, but
of course - the Retrieval Squad was also here for Crais. No way were the PKs
gonna let him run renegade around the universe. He knew top-secret, her
majesty's secret service-type stuff. That was why he'd seized Talyn and used
him to get our help. We were his bodyguards whether we knew it or not.

Only one response to that. I cleaned the muck off Crais and tied him up as
bait for the Critter Squad. Crais woke up and started sweating while I hid,
still doused in eau de slime. When the Colartas arrived, I killed the buggers,
and then I found that one had a positioning device that could guide me back to
Talyn. Smelly as things were, they were lookin' up.

Sorta. One of the Colartas was only mostly dead. And back on Talyn, Xhalax had
severed the gunship's higher functions. And she'd also gutted Rygel.

Oh, and Aeryn and her mother were about to kill each other.
¡Incubator [#55]
*o*Data/FSCP/incubator.iff
While Crichton had Moya flying mundane search patterns in order to pinpoint
wormhole-related deep-space variances - Moya actually enjoyed this activity -
the monotony was disrupted by the sudden arrival of a Peacekeeper prowler.

Our initial alarm abated when we learned that a non-hostile Relgarian was
piloting the craft. Relgarians are a peaceful, inquisitive race, and many of
them have journeyed aboard Leviathans on deep-space explorations.

This particular Relgarian, Linfer, brought information that could change all
our lives.

Linfer had defected from a Peacekeeper wormhole task force. To our dismay, she
told us that Scorpius had not perished as we'd thought. Instead, he was
leading Peacekeeper efforts to develop wormhole technology, using the
equations he had extracted from Crichton's brain.

Linfer proudly explained that she had recently discovered the correct phase
progression for safe wormhole travel. While other members of the PK team,
including Scorpius, fretted that certain encrypted equations might yet hold
vital information, Linfer had seized the chance to pilot a test flight herself
- and escape.

She had come to offer us a deal. She would give Crichton the secret to
wormhole travel, allowing everyone aboard to journey wherever they wished. All
she asked in exchange was Moya.

Moya and I were not unwilling to consider this. Exploring the far reaches of
space with a kindred spirit and abandoning this confused existence appealed to
us. But the decision was not ours alone, and I was touched when D'Argo and
Chiana worried that Linfer might endanger me and Moya. Nonetheless, I expected
that everyone would eventually accept Linfer's offer. Its benefits were too
significant to refuse.

But sadly, as Crichton says, deals like this, which sound too good to be true,
usually are. And if one of Scorpius' researchers could track us so easily, how
safe would we be if Scorpius himself decided we could be of further use to his
effort?
¡Meltdown [#56]
*o*Data/FSCP/meltdown.iff
Face it. It's hard to connect with kids today. Like, we know that Talyn has
had some growing pains - who can blame him? On the run, packing heat, and
stuck with creepy Crais as a Big Brother. So he has some sort of freak-out and
takes off, racing towards the nearest sun, preparing to swan dive into it. He
veered off at the last minute but still seemed to be ready to come apart at
the seems. Turned out Talyn was "hearing" irresistible radiation pulses from
within the sun, some sort of siren call.

Later, when Aeryn and I started repairing some of the damage incurred by
Talyn's road trip, my finger got sparked and she kissed it to make it better.
We were getting as hot as the inferno outside, and normally I would have no
complaints, ask no questions and take no prisoners - Lord knows I'm
irrisistible and all - but there was something wrong. Something like, we
generally know better than to take a double shot of lovin' while still in
danger of being fried.

That's when I noticed the mist seeping into the corridor.

In the Strategy Room, Crais explained that the mist was "Drexim," Talyn's
equivalent of adrenaline. It was leaking out because Talyn was so hyped. Best
I can figure, the stuff maxed out our biggest emotions. So Rygel was hungry
like the wolf. And Crais was stalking around like Patton with dynamite up his
butt.

And Stark?

Stark was hearing things, and he followed a mysterious voice to some
ghost-woman haunting Talyn's vestigial Pilot's den. This woman, Sierjna, was
trapped within the sun. Hearing her story kicked Stark's Stykera side into
overdrive. He became obsessed with helping her.

On the bridge, Aeryn, Crais and I searched for a way to stop Talyn from
"hearing" the siren pulse. Re-calibrating the shields seemed promising, but to
do that, we needed to fix the damaged shield overrides.

Before we could get started, Mu-Quillus, a matter/energy alien with a face
like burnt toast, showed up. Of course, this dude pretended to be our pal. He
claimed that his home, the sun, was a naturally occurring "Siren Star" that
had already killed 83 Leviathans.

Did we trust him? Hell no - he had maniacal bad guy written all over him. So
super-soldier Crais tried to blast him into fiery oblivion, a pretty pointless
gesture if you ask me. After all, fiery oblivion is probably this critter's
favorite nightclub.

Down in the den, Sierjna told Stark that Mu-Quillus had created the pulsing
lure. Another ship building race, the Prahtikrah, had hired him to fry the
competition. Along the way, he'd snagged Sierjna from a dying leviathan,
holding her captive inside the star.

Sierjna hoped that Stark could restore her to life. But she was dren out of
luck, 'cause Stark found she was too far along to the Great Beyond to come
back. Apparently there's no going back from that, just forward. Then
Mu-Quillus arrived, demanding that Sierjna return. She refused. I guess a
crazy Banik still beats a molten mass murderer.

Aeryn and I had a shagadelic time fixing conduits. We even finished, despite
the fog of Drexim surrounding us. Yeah, baby.

But Talyn turned back toward the sun. The pulses were now shifting
unnaturally, too fast for us to compensate. That proved what Stark already
knew: Heat Miser was pulling the strings.

I'd almost pinpointed the lure's source when suddenly Talyn's systems went
dark. Even Crais' transponder died. Then Stark jumped into the Pilot's seat
and formed a neural link to Talyn, overriding all our controls. First we
thought he was gonna save the day. But nooooooo. He flew closer to the sun to
rescue Sierjna.

Hoping to stop Stark, I shot out Talyn's guidance circuits. For his part,
Crais stomped off to kill the "mutineer" who'd taken over "his" ship.

Stark ignored us. Sierjna was ready to let him guide her into death - but the
Banik Avenger's mysterious mojo failed at the critical moment. Then Mu-Quillus
popped in and stole Sierjna back. Talyn accelerated to ramming speed. Defeated
at last, Stark helpfully announced that we were all going to die...

Funny - Aeryn and I were almost too distracted to care.
¡Scratch 'N' Sniff [#57]
*o*Data/FSCP/snsniff.iff
Moya and I had grown weary of their incessant arguing, so I banished Crichton
and the Luxan from Moya, dispatching them to the pleasure planet LoMo for 10
solar days. It was to be an enjoyable exile - so enjoyable that Chiana and
Jool went along voluntarily.

I hoped that Crichton and D'Argo would behave with greater calm upon their
return. Instead, they came back eight days too early, with a story that
strained disbelief. I was angry enough that they returned so early, but the
untruthfulness of Crichton made me doubly so. Chiana and Jool were sleeping
off whatever pleasure they had encountered on the planet, so I could get no
accounting from them, and I was so angry that I couldn't bear to speak to both
D'Argo and Crichton.

On LoMo, so Crichton's story went, they'd been seduced by women who spiked
their drinks and stole all their currency. That much, I could believe.

But Crichton didn't bother to make the rest of the story even remotely
plausible. He claims that, as they struggled to recover, an alien named Raxil
warned them that Chiana and Jool were in trouble, and took Crichton and D'Argo
to visit a Hangi. This detail in particular revealed Crichton's falseness,
since no reasonable being actually believes Hangis exist. They are mythical
creatures who supposedly can detach their eyes and leave them in various
locations. The eyes send images back to the Hangis, who display the scenes for
customers.

According to Crichton, this supposed Hangi displayed images of Chiana
accepting a mysterious drug from a strangely seductive man whom Raxil
identified as Fe'Tor. Despite Fe'Tor's reputation as a powerful and dangerous
man, D'Argo took it upon himself to infiltrate Fe'Tor's mansion. There, he
discovered Chiana and Jool, seeming to be in no danger at all and, on the
contrary, having a wonderful time. That Chiana and Jool could find immense
pleasure on such a world was one of the few aspects of this story that I could
believe.

Chiana and Jool refused to leave Fe'Tor's apartments, so Fe'Tor's guards
escorted the Luxan out at gunpoint. Humiliated, D'Argo returned and assaulted
Raxil. Raxil then spun around and sprayed him with the same substance that
Fe'Tor had given Chiana, to demonstrate its qualities. According to Crichton,
this drug had unusual, powerful properties. To speak delicately, although
Crichton did not, the drug instantly made D'Argo crave intimate companionship.

Raxil explained that this drug, freslin, came in many varieties and was a
sexual attractant. The sadistic Fe'Tor made especially high-quality freslin by
milking its base element from the senil gland of sentient beings - a process
he reportedly took to a deadly extreme. Raxil claimed that Fe'Tor was milking
her mate, Sarl. In exchange for her assistance in rescuing Chiana and Jool,
Raxil wanted Crichton and D'Argo to help save Sarl.

Then Crichton said that he and D'Argo used the Hangi to spy on Fe'Tor's
compound. Next, they retrieved weapons and currency from the transport pod to
plan a two-main raid on an auction of "pleasure slaves" Fe'Tor was holding.
Chiana was to be featured in the sale.

The following portion of Crichton's tale especially strains plausibility.
D'Argo, who had already been identified and thrown out by Fe'Tor once, was
sprayed with a special kind of freslin that Raxil called an "aura morph." It
created a sensory illusion, which would completely disguise D'Argo in another
form, at least until he metabolized the freslin, which would happen more
quickly if he didn't stay calm.

Crichton, D'Argo, and Raxil attended the auction, where a weakened Chiana was
sold like an animal to the highest bidder. D'Argo's anger at the situation
sped up his metabolism, which caused his disguise to evaporate. He and
Crichton then began shooting, and in the confusion, rescued both Chiana and
Jool.

Crichton's tale ran further, but recounting it just increases my anger, for no
matter what lies he tells, Moya and I are having none of it...
¡Infinite Possibilities, Part 1 - "Daedalus Demands" [#58]
*o*Data/FSCP/infin1.iff
Long story short. Things are rushed and I've gotta get this log entry in
before Aeryn comes back from her ammo run to Rygel.

My ancient alien pal, in the guise of dear ol' dad Jack, showed up on Talyn,
accusing me of sharing wormhole-stabilizing technology with some
cadaverous-looking creep the Ancients had seen flying my module. I wish. If
I'd given away the tech, it would mean that I possessed it and maybe I'd be
home by now.

Right at that second, Helpful Harvey, the Scorpy clone in my head, pops in and
tells me on the sly that Furlow probably made the module. Furlow's that gifted
and greedy ship mechanic-entrepreneur who copped all my module's data when it
was in for repairs at her shop. She's got a taste for wormholes, and I knew
she wanted to sell the technology to the highest bidder as soon as she got her
chubby little hands on it.

So we high-tail it to Furlow's solar flare-prone planet, Dam-Ba-Da, where
Furlow's got her fortified bunker-repair shop. But instead of seeing racks of
alien SUVs getting lube jobs, we run into these heavily-armed, creeptacular
aliens, the Charrids, guarding Furlow's compound. It was lookin' grim when
Talyn streaked in and saved our asses by blasting our way clear to the door.
Then a solar flare fried his sensors, blinding both him and Crais.

While Stark picked up Crais in one of the pods and Rygel headed down to the
surface, Aeryn and I did a Butch and Sundance thing and shot our way inside
the bunker. We zapped all the Charrids but one - saved him for some Q&A - and
found Furlow hanging from chains. She said she'd constructed a working copy of
my module and hired the Charrids for security, but after she'd developed a
phase stabilizer that allowed travel through unstable wormholes, the Charrids
double-crossed her. That was the party we just crashed.

We were safe inside for the moment, which gave me a chance to see the copy
Furlow made of my module. Sweet. Jack started checking things out under the
hood, which made Furlow antsy, so we looped her into Jack's real identity.
Furlow wasn't quite convinced, so Aeryn and I kept an eye on her while Jack
did his thing.

Meanwhile, Rygel snuck off to torture the Charrid prisoner and even up some
old, Charrid-Hynerian scores. Apparently the Charrids invaded the Hynerian
empire a ways back, killed a billion of their folks and ate a million of their
young - some people'll eat just about anything. Charrids are tough - and ugly
- but Rygel got into the groove and made him cough up that the Charrids were
in bed with the Scarrans, and the Scarrans were on their way to seize the
phase stabilizer, cruising along in a big, bad Scarran dreadnought, twice the
size of a command carrier and way too big for Talyn to handle. But that's all
we got out of the Charrid, 'cause Rygel got a little eager with the knife.

We had squat, but we couldn't let the Scarrans get their claws on the wormhole
technology, whatever else happened. Furlow was more profit-minded and
suggested - with a gun - that by selling the tech to the whole universe we
could clean up and maintain a balance of power. Moot point. The Scarrans took
that moment to establish a remote connection to Furlow's computer and began
downloading all the phase stabilizer specs, free of charge. Quicker than you
can say "O.K. Corral" Aeryn and I whipped out our weapons and blasted away at
the computer, but there's no way to tell how much data the Scarrans got, and
the dreadnought was still truckin' along.

Then Jack announced that he was a man with a plan, and with my help he could
build something to destroy the dreadnought by unlocking the equations the
Ancients put in my brain. But first, we needed to take a shot at getting rid
of Harvey - yeah, I told him about Harvey - because no way was it smart to
unlock the wormhole secrets with him evesdropping. Jack and I would link up
somehow and boot Harvey out of the club. And I'd finally be free of him. And
hey, what's the worst that could happen? Just the Ancients coming after my ass
and Harvey hijacking the process and leaving me for roadkill. But I'm sick of
Harvey, I mean really sick of him, and I think the risk is worth it. Either
way, I'm rid of him. If I lose, Aeryn'll take care of it, and that's only
fair, since I killed her once. She'll be back any second, and it'll be one
deep breath before we try to save the universe.
¡Infinite Possibilities, Part 2 - "Icarus Abides" [#59]
*o*Data/FSCP/infin2.iff
Everything we could do has been done. The Scarran dreadnought is just about
here, and John has just taken off in the module to engage the weapon which
will give us one shot - and only one - at destroying the ship. Time has been
our enemy ever since we arrived on Dam-Ba-Da, but now that events there have
concluded I feel it is my duty to make a record of what has transpired.

When the Scorpius clone took over John's body and attacked me, Jack stopped me
from shooting him - just in time. The clone was actually dying. It had tried
to trick me into killing it - and John - as a final revenge. It expired
quickly and John emerged.

With the Scorpius clone dead, Jack unlocked the wormhole knowledge in John's
brain and they prepared to construct the device - a "displacement engine" -
that could destroy the approaching Scarran dreadnought.

I should report concurrent events on Talyn. A Scarran advance scout had
infiltrated the gunship. He began extracting information from the still-blind
Crais, but Stark diverted the Scarran from the interrogation by informing him
of Talyn's neural link technology. The Scarran demanded that a neural
transponder be made for him, so he could take over command of the ship. Crais
made good use of the time Stark bought him by having two, not one,
transponders made, with a plan to use one of the transponders against the
Scarran.

Back down on the planet, Jack and John proceded with the construction of the
weapon. John expected to understand wormhole technology immediately, but Jack
informed him that the process was gradual. I left the two at work and checked
on Rygel in the gun turret. He was injured, but reported that he could
continue his defense of the compound if I brought him food. I complied.

Back in the compound, John was beginning to tap into the released wormhole
knowledge. We were still on the lookout for Charrids, so while Jack installed
the dangerous radioactive partanium into the displacement engine, John and I
inspected the integrity of the hangar door area.

We returned from our inspection and found Furlow with two dead Charrids near
the displacement engine. Jack was lying prone nearby, dying. Furlow stated
that it was the Charrids who shot him.

John resumed work on the engine, but he was unsure if his knowlege alone was
enough to complete the weapon. I decided to swing by the gun turret again to
check on Rygel, and to see why the Charrids seemed to be holding back on a
full assault.

Back aboard Talyn, the Scarran had acquired its neural transponder, and seemed
prepared to take over the ship. But Crais used his transponder to render the
Scarran immobile so that Talyn could attack.

While I was occupied with reconaissance at the turret, Furlow urged John to
sell the technology that was now unlocked within him. He refused. So Furlow
stole the displacement engine. When John tried to stop her, she admitted that
she had killed Jack and that she was also working for the Scarrans, who were
coming to buy her wormhole technology. Now she could sell them the engine
instead.

Furlow escaped under cover of a flare. The Charrids stopped shelling, just as
I saw Furlow race past in a sand terrain vehicle. John drove up a moment
later. I jumped onboard and we initiated pursuit.

A Charrid caught up to us. One of us had to stop him. Without giving John a
choice, I jumped off the vehicle and dealt with the threat quickly. I swung
back to meet up with John who informed me that Furlow had fled and he had
retrieved the engine. He didn't tell me that he'd also been hit with a blast
of radiation from the device.

In the pursuit, the engine had been activated and it would melt down uselessly
unless we deployed its power soon - if it even worked.

But we had no time left to consider other options. The Scarran dreadnought had
arrived.
¡Revenging Angel [#60]
*o*Data/FSCP/revangel.iff
Despite their arguments, I never suspected that Crichton and D'Argo might
actually try to kill each other. I also never suspected that the strange alien
craft we recovered at the commerce station, which had been sitting innocuously
in Moya's hangar ever since, would try to kill us.

But the craft, which D'Argo had been studying, malfunctioned while Crichton
was aboard. The Luxan exploded into a HyperRage and chased Crichton out of the
ship. In the heat of the moment, D'Argo shoved Crichton, who fell backwards
and seriously injured his head. Moments later, the ship emitted a devastating
electrical shock wave, wounding Moya.

While Jool assessed Crichton's injuries, I assessed Moya's. The wave had
knocked out all her active power conduits. Her lights were out. She was deaf
and blind to certain areas. Worse still, the alien ship had initiated its
automated self-destruct sequence.

Moya's hangar doors were too damaged to open and jettison the smaller craft.
Realizing this, D'Argo became so frustrated that he threw his Qualta Blade
into the depths below my den. I was startled that he would abandon such a
precious artifact, but I appreciated the sentiment as our situation was
extremely frustrating. To even begin repairs, I needed the DRDs to re-wire
much of Moya, but a significant number of the DRDs were damaged and required
their own repairs first.

Just about that time, the alien ship's engine-core energy built rapidly and
threatened to overload. D'Argo attempted to shut it down while Jool continued
to do all she could for the still-unconscious Crichton, which unfortunately
wasn't much, and then broke off to help D'Argo. Chiana, who can be remarkably
mature when she must, struggled to repair the DRDs.

Then I discovered that we lacked the time we so desperately needed for this
work. The alien ship would explode in less than an arn. I was forced to face
the fact that Moya and I would be consumed in the alien ship's explosion,
though the others still had time escape. I instructed Jool to gather everyone
and take survival supplies to Tier Sixteen's Treblin side pressure hatchway.
If I detached this self-contained section, it could temporarily function as an
escape pod.

Then D'Argo's frustration overwhelmed him again and he shouted an ancient
Luxan curse at the alien craft. To his immense surprise and relief, the ship
responded. It began speaking back to him in ancient Luxan, but unfortunately
it was not a form of the language that D'Argo understood.

At D'Argo's suggestion, I delved into Moya's limited library and accumulated
samples of the dead language. I then arranged for the DRDs to create a
supplemental Translator Microbe injection containing this new information.

Jool and Chiana, busy elsewhere preparing for the worst, moved Crichton to the
hatchway on Tier Sixteen. His condition was deteriorating and there was
nothing we could do. Like Moya and myself, it seemed that he was doomed to
die.

Against Chiana's advice, Jool risked her own life as well by confessing to
D'Argo that she, not Crichton, had interfered with his ship. Thankfully,
D'Argo did not lash out at her. Instead, he accepted the new Translator
Microbes and set about communicating with the ship. Though their effect was
incomplete, D'Argo understood enough. To stop the explosion, the alien ship
required him to prove his heritage by presenting a Luxan artifact, his Qualta
Blade.

Unfortunately, his Qualta Blade was somewhere in the massive cavern beneath my
den.

He, Chiana, and Jool searched frantically. Jool even endured the reservoir of
Hodian trill-bat excretions at the bottom of the cavern. But they could not
find the blade.

And, unnoticed by us all, Crichton's life functions had ceased.

As regards this aspect of the group's experience, Crichton wishes to interject
a comment:

"Meep-meep!"

This sound means nothing to me, but Crichton states that it is the ritual
vocalization of an Earth animal totem called a "roadrunner." Why Crichton
considers it such an integral part of recent events, I cannot say.
¡The Choice [#61]
*o*Data/FSCP/choice.iff
Stark called Valldon a world where the dead speak. Though I have never
believed such things, I asked Stark, Crais, and Rygel to leave me there. I
should have expected they'd ignore my wishes. But I couldn't face returning to
Moya and seeing the other Crichton - the one still living, the one not mine.

I found a room at a filthy, overcrowded hovel of a hotel. Outside, refugees,
criminal-types and the drek of dozens of worlds milled about, all
disreputable, many looking half-dead. A man there said he could contact my
long-dead father, Talyn Lyczak. I consented to meet him. I was drunk,
careless, remembering John, imagining that he was with me.

When the man I'd been expecting came to my room, he didn't claim that he could
summon the spirit of my father. He claimed that he was my father. He confirmed
that Xhalax, my mother, had been ordered to kill him after my birth. But he'd
gone into hiding - with a surgically altered appearance - instead.

With his PK Blood Spectrometer, we compared our genetic traits. It indicated a
match.

At this same time, Stark and Rygel were searching for me. Stark was
distracted, thinking he could hear Zhaan calling him. He got a further shock
when he saw, or thought he saw, my mother in a crowd. We had left her for dead
on the jungle planet - I had thought Crais had shot her - but Crais (later)
admitted he'd spared her on one condition: that she report our deaths to the
Peacekeepers, saving us from more attacks by successive Retrieval Squads.

The man claiming to be Talyn had been telling me about his past. Now he urged
me to speak of my own life. I didn't want to discuss it, but he realized I'd
lost someone I loved. He even said that he knew of a being, a Seer, who could
contact John's spirit.

After Talyn left to find this Seer, I interrogated the hotel's owner, hoping
to discover if Talyn Lyczak was who he claimed to be, but I learned nothing.
So I purchased another 10 bottles of Rasnol (it goes quickly) and returned to
my room.

When Crais and Stark arrived at my room I would not let them in. They warned
me they had seen my mother, but their concern disgusted me. Both of them
believe (or hope) that I need their care, and both would like to give it -
with as much physical contact as possible.

I forced them to leave, then walked onto the window ledge, 96 floors up.
Perhaps it was reckless of me, but above the city I felt strangely calm and
comforted.

As I was contemplating the depths below me, Rygel (yet another would-be
rescuer) flew up in his levitating chair. He was concerned I would jump and
tried to convince me not to by speaking to me with a surprising fondness of a
lost love named Kellor. I gave him no overt indication of my internal state,
but his concern touched me. I left the ledge and stepped back down into the
room. But I kept the Dominar out, just like Crais and Stark.

By this time, Talyn Lyczak had returned, bearing a small seer named Cresus.
Cresus insisted that I tell him about Crichton, and I tried. Then an image of
John appeared, begging me to help him, find him, bring him back. Talyn Lyczak
insisted the vision was true, and that there was a chance we could make John's
spirit corporeal again. He then departed on some errand.

Alone, I imagined John telling me that IÖd just witnessed a fraud. How could I
have known which was true? The Crichton Cresus showed me or the one I showed
myself? Neither might have been real, or both.

I lost all doubt Xhalax was real, however, when she broke into my room, alive
and vengeful. She blamed me for the misery in her life and wanted me to suffer
in return. She threatened my life. When Talyn Lyczak re-appeared, he pleaded
with her to show me mercy, and offered his life in exchange. Xhalax was cold
and unyielding and turned the gun toward him. Seconds before he was pleading
for my life, now he was begging for his own. He did not plead long. Xhalax
shot him. Then she turned back to me.

In a world crowded by the living and the dead, I was suddenly faced with the
very real possilibilty that the woman who gave me my life was about to end it.

Then she turned back to me.
¡Fractures [#62]
*o*Data/FSCP/fractures.Iff
We'd been separated from Talyn for half a cycle, so we approached our reunion
with eagerness. But when we encountered a battered transport pod at the
rendezvous site, we grew fearful - had Talyn himself been destroyed?

To our astonishment, the pod's passengers were strangers, and a strange
assembly as well - a Scarran named Naj Gil, a Nebari named Hubero, a Hynerian
named Orrhn Pak, and a Peacekeeper Tech named Markir Tal.

Naj Gil, Hubero, and Orrhn had been Peacekeeper prisoners, sent out in a
Transport Pod as test targets for a new Peackkeeper weapon. While Markir Tal
was performing a pre-flight check on the pod, Naj Gil overpowered him and the
group escaped. The weapon struck their pod, but the craft survived long enough
to carry them to freedom.

While examining the fugitives' pod, Hubero told Crichton and Chiana that there
had been a fifth passenger aboard, a Boolite. The PK weapon had blasted this
creature into fragments. However, since Boolite body parts can survive
independently for some time, Hubero urged Crichton and Chiana to help gather
the pieces and reconstruct the creature.

In the midst of all this, Talyn arrived at last. Crichton hurried to meet our
long-absent shipmates. He had been longing for Officer Sun's homecoming but
was about to face a cruel shock.

Only Aeryn, Rygel, and Crais were aboard, and of the three Aeryn showed the
least enthusiasm at having returned. Stark had struck out on his own in a
search for his beloved Zhaan. And the other Crichton was dead. All that
remained of either man was Stark's mask - which Stark had bequeathed to our
Crichton. Not until later did I understand the significance of that gift.

It did not take Rygel long to notice the scent of the Hynerian female onboard.
And Orrhne recognized the Dominar immediately. What happened next in Rygel's
quarters is best left private.

Everyone else on board was also experiencing what passes for a respite on
Moya. D'Argo continued to guard Naj Gil. Aeryn spoke briefly with Markir Tal,
whom we had locked in a vacant cell. And Crichton took his duplicate's
belongings to his quarters.

Unfortunately, I was forced to shatter this relative calm when I sensed a
Peacekeeper distress signal originating from within Moya.

We could not determine the person responsible, so we decided to hasten repairs
to the fugitives' Pod and send them on their way as soon as we could. In the
meantime, Moya and Talyn initiated Starburst to evade any Peacekeepers who
might respond to the call.

Crais and Jool struggled to assemble the Boolite. Crichton and Aeryn worked
together briefly on the fugitives' pod, but Aeryn soon departed to work
elsewhere, alone.

Finally the partially reassembled Boolite gasped out a word of warning -
"traitor." Almost simultaneously, someone shot Naj Gil, wounding him severely.
During the chaos that followed, I detected another PK signal emanating from
Moya - this one giving our exact location.

With Naj Gil immobilized and Markir Tal securely confined, we concluded -
improbable as it seemed - that either Hubero or Orrhn was the traitor in our
midst.

Unfortunately, both Chiana and Rygel were so convinced of their new friends'
innocence that they went into hiding. Rygel took Orrhn into the air ducts.
D'Argo and Aeryn searched the storage areas for Chiana and Hubero, but did not
find the two.

Then I sensed a pulse blast near Markir Tal's cell. The Peacekeeper had
escaped.

Either Chiana or Rygel was in hiding with an enemy. And that enemy had just
freed a deadly ally, who was now loose somewhere on Moya.
¡I-Yensch, You-Yensch [#63]
*o*Data/FSCP/iyou.Iff
I didn't expect Rygel to aid Crichton in his quest to destroy Scorpius'
wormhole research. But apparently the Dominar has witnessed tragedies that he
will risk his life to avoid seeing again.

Accordingly, Rygel accompanied D'Argo to a meeting with Scorpius and
Lieutenant Braca. They hoped to convince Scorpius that Crichton had decided to
help the Peacekeepers attain wormhole travel. Their goal was to negotiate a
way for Crichton to visit Scorpius' Command Carrier as a guest - then sabotage
the project from within.

The rest of us feared for Rygel's and D'Argo's lives. We didn't expect to face
danger and sorrow ourselves.

A hospital ship rendezvoused with us to take aboard Naj Gil, the Scarran who'd
escaped to Moya from Peacekeeper captivity. But no sooner had Naj Gil departed
than several Peacekeeper fighter craft converged on our position. Talyn
destroyed them.

Then, panicking, Talyn blasted the hospital ship as well. Six hundred innocent
beings were killed almost instantly.

After this calamity, Talyn refused to communicate, even with Moya. Still, Moya
would not abandon her son.

D'Argo and Rygel, meanwhile, reached the meeting place, an isolated diner.
Then Scorpius arrived - with a Peacekeeper execution squad. By threatening to
kill D'Argo and Rygel, he established to his satisfaction that they had no
hidden companions to save them. After finishing this cruel charade, he
dismissed the squad.

According to Rygel, the negotiations themselves were smooth. Scorpius even
possessed devices capable of ensuring Crichton's safety: I-Yensch bracelets,
which synchronize the nerve impulses of their wearers. To demonstrate their
effectiveness, Braca and D'Argo put on the bracelets. When Rygel struck Braca,
D'Argo felt the blow as well. And if one wearer died, so would the other.
Scorpius proposed that Crichton and Braca wear the bracelets during Crichton's
visit. Rygel, however, was not convinced that Braca's life meant more to
Scorpius than Crichton's death. He wanted Scorpius, not Braca, to wear the
other bracelet. Scorpius refused.

That's when two armed bandits burst in. One of them shot Braca, incapacitating
D'Argo as well, thanks to the I-Yensch bracelets.

On Moya, Crais sadly explained that Talyn's combined Peacekeeper and Leviathan
heritage had left the young ship dangerously unstable. The former captain
argued in favor of shutting down Talyn's mechanoid parts, keeping his
biologics minimally functional with artificial support. Then Talyn would
receive a full systems replacement. This procedure would erase Talyn's
personality, giving him the mentality of a newborn.

Crais' suggestion grieved Moya so much that she ceased speaking even to me.
Those were some of the saddest moments of my life, but Moya's pain was worse
than mine. In a sense, Crais' plan meant Talyn's death: the death of the
troubled but loyal personality we loved.

Moya eventually consented to listen to Officer Sun, trusting the woman who
gave Talyn his name. After Aeryn vowed that the crew would do everything
possible to restore Talyn perfectly, Moya spoke to her son.

In response, the unthinkable happened: Talyn shot at Moya.

Chaos was also engulfing the diner. Finding both Peacekeeper officers and a
Hynerian Dominar in their clutches, the would-be robbers began plotting
kidnapping and ransom. And Rygel and Scorpius discovered that they had a
common goal: escaping alive. Their separate schemes began to coalesce into
unified action.

Then the robbers, deciding to abduct only the Hynerian, ordered Rygel to shoot
Braca to prove his hatred of Peacekeepers. But if Braca died, so would D'Argo.
To save themselves, Scorpius and Rygel needed to think faster than they ever
had before.

For us on Moya, quick thinking was no use. It was up to Talyn to decide
whether to accept our help - or destroy us...
¡Into The Lion's Den, Part 1 - "Lambs To The Slaughter" [#64]
*o*Data/FSCP/lion1.Iff
Crichton's mission to the Command Carrier was underway. If all went well, he
would secretly destroy Scorpius' wormhole research, while Scorpius,
unsuspecting, saw to it that Crichton's friends received favors in exchange
for the human's scientific "help."

All did not go well.

The Peacekeeper crew's hatred of the visitors was palpable. Ignoring this
public sentiment, Scorpius acted in good faith, bringing Talyn aboard for a
full systems replacement and granting Crichton complete access to the wormhole
project.

While Crichton began work alongside Scorpius' lead scientist, Co-Kura Strappa,
Aeryn adapted to being an outcast in her former home. I sense that her
interactions with Officer Henta, a fellow pilot and former close friend who
now despised her as a traitor, were particularly disheartening.

By contrast, Lieutenant Braca granted Rygel a full report on the Hynerian
political situation - which brought the Hynerian good news. And a Peacekeeper
surgeon removed the clavicle rings that had symbolized D'Argo's imprisonment
for so long.

The Restorative Chamber, where D'Argo recovered, proved an excellent location
for private talks because its mists interfered with the ship's surveillance
system. Crichton and Aeryn discussed strategy there. D'Argo and Jool also
enjoyed a few quiet words - before a Peacekeeper warrior burst in and attacked
the Luxan. The fight was fierce; the Peacekeeper died.

A Lieutenant Reljik attempted to blame this incident on D'Argo. Scorpius,
however, reminded Reljik that the lieutenant was responsible for the conduct
of troops under his command - and told him that if any harm came to the
visitors, Reljik would be held responsible, whether or not he knew about it.
Despite Scorpius' assurances of safety, D'Argo insisted on returning to Moya -
but not before demanding the Peacekeeper file of his wife's killer, Macton.

Crais, meanwhile, worked to repair Talyn with the help of a former comrade,
Larell. She and Crais had been very close during his captaincy, a closeness
both were eager to renew. Unfortunately, Crais couldn't tell if her affection
was genuine or merely an excuse for spying on him.

Once he explored the wormhole project's true scope, Crichton realized that
sabotaging it would be more challenging - practically and morally - than he'd
imagined. He began to have second thoughts. Was it possible to destroy the
project without massive loss of life? More abstractly, was it acceptable to
destroy the Peacekeepers' primary defense against the dangerous Scarran
Imperium?

Moya and I, nervously awaiting news from the Command Carrier, were delighted
to see Chiana, Jool and Rygel return with D'Argo. But then Chiana had a vision
of me screaming - which immediately came to pass, as Moya was struck by a
painful Peacekeeper Immobilizer Pulse. We were all taken captive.

I shared Moya's resolve to die before accepting enslavement. Thankfully, we
had allies aboard the Command Carrier, though they were unaware of our plight.
Indeed, Crichton was so deeply absorbed in his equations that, despite
himself, he began uncovering the true solution to wormhole travel. He broke
off at once upon hearing of our capture, and, with Aeryn, confronted Scorpius.

Scorpius was not at fault. He had been trumped by Commandant Mele-On Grayza, a
new name to us, but one carrying a great deal of weight among the disgruntled
Peacekeeper crew. Scorpius ordered our release, but the formidable Grayza
vowed that she would return - to terminate his wormhole project.

Scorpius now increased pressure on Crichton to solve the wormhole conundrum.
He would stop at nothing to save his project, even if it meant committing
himself to a sixty-cycle journey across the galaxy to exterminate Crichton's
homeworld for revenge. Distracted, neither he nor Crichton suspected that
Lieutenant Reljik and his band of malcontents, now endorsed by Grayza, were
planning to assassinate them both...
¡Into the Lion's Den, Part 2 - "Wolf In Sheep's Clothing" [#65]
*o*Data/FSCP/lion2.Iff
We are in mourning once more.

After accepting that he could ruin Scorpius' wormhole project only by
destroying the Command Carrier, Crichton became distracted. The knowledge
buried in his mind by the Ancients was awakening, inspiring him to solve the
mystery of safe wormhole travel.

The terrible news that Crais had betrayed him jolted Crichton from his
reverie. In exchange for his own safety, Crais had told Scorpius about
Crichton's plans for catastrophic sabotage. Accordingly, Scorpius arrested
D'Argo, Chiana, Rygel and Jool. Crichton was furious. His friends' lives were
now forfeit unless he bowed to Scorpius' will.

Then, secretly, Crais and Aeryn told Crichton that the betrayal was only an
act, designed to make Scorpius believe that any plots against him had already
failed. In reality, Crais had discovered how to destroy the Command Carrier.
If he and Talyn initiated Starburst from within the larger ship, the Command
Carrier would implode, and it would happen slowly enough that most of its crew
could evacuate. It seemed the perfect solution ... with one catch: The
cataclysm would kill Crais and Talyn.

Stunned by Crais' heroism - and seeing no other option - Crichton agreed to
distract Scorpius while Crais sneaked aboard Talyn.

Moya and I were alarmed when Crichton arrived aboard with a company of
Peacekeepers. Ostensibly, he'd come to collect his Module for a wormhole test
flight. But privately, he told us of Crais' plan. I was moved by Moya's quiet
acceptance. Though she was shaken with grief, she believed that such a heroic
end was a fitting one for her son. We bid farewell to Crichton, acutely aware
that he and his companions might be killed, as well.

Back on the Command Carrier, Crichton goaded Scorpius into joining him for the
dangerous wormhole test flight. It was an ideal distraction. Not only was
Scorpius absent from his ship and dazzled by his experience, but his crew was
also preoccupied by the event.

With the diversion successful, Aeryn and Crais overcame the guards surrounding
Talyn. Aeryn and Crais said farewell, then Crais boarded Talyn for the last
time. Once on board, Crais woke the young ship, which was not so incapacitated
as Crais had led the Peacekeepers to believe. We'll never know what their
final moments were like; we know only that Talyn must have consented to give
his life for Crichton's cause.

Thus, as Crichton returned Scorpius to the Command Carrier, Crais' proud voice
echoed over its comm system. Scorpius guessed what was happening, but it was
too late. Talyn initiated Starburst -

- Moya and I saw the blast of light and knew immediately what it meant.
Buffeted by sorrow, we clung to our pride in the bravery of Moya's son.

And though Talyn's task was done, the devastation was only beginning. Aeryn
struggled to rescue D'Argo, Chiana, Rygel and Jool, who were still imprisoned
deep within the Command Carrier. Elsewhere, Crichton confronted Scorpius' lead
researcher, Co-Kura. When Co-Kura refused to abandon his precious wormhole
data, Crichton impressed upon him how dangerous that data could be. Convinced,
the shaken Co-Kura reminded Crichton that both of them still knew the wormhole
equations. Crichton, of course, has never found a way to shed that burden. But
Scorpius' cruel Aurora Chair could wipe the knowledge from Co-Kura's mind.
Co-Kura bravely insisted that Crichton activate the chair.

With that, the Peacekeepers' wormhole experiment was finally ended.

However, if Moya didn't leave the area soon, she would be engulfed in the
Command Carrier's destruction. But so many of our crew were still aboard the
Command Carrier: D'Argo, Chiana, Jool and Rygel were being crushed as the
walls of their cell collapsed ... Peacekeeper commando Henta was seeking
vengeance against her former friend, Aeryn ... and Scorpius was on his way to
a final showdown with the man who had just destroyed his life's work: John
Crichton.
¡Dog with Two Bones [#66]
*o*Data/FSCP/dogbone.Iff
This is John Crichton, denying that this may be the last message I ever write.

As the Command Carrier was doing its Titanic impression, I rescued a life pod
that was in trouble. Its occupants, who weren't profoundly grateful to me
since I was the guy who'd caused this problem in the first place, left ASAP.

All except one: an old woman with a third eye. You'd think that'd be enough to
put me on my guard (especially after I started having some David Lynch-style
whacked-out visions). Instead, showing true genius-level thinking, it wasn't
'til I caught her blowing funky herbs in my face that I began to get
suspicious.

But we were busy, transporting Talyn's remains to a sacred Leviathan burial
ground. When we got there, another Leviathan went psycho and rammed us. Hard.
Turned out her kids had been enslaved by the Peacekeepers, so she was
determined to keep Talyn's half-PK remains out of the sacred spot. Injured and
hurting, Moya struggled to decide how to respond.

Meanwhile, thanks to the old lady and her funky dust, I was on my own private
Magical Mystery Tour. One minute I'd be helping sort out the chaos on Moya,
the next I'd be tripping out, watching Aeryn throw the bouquet at our
imaginary wedding.

But it felt so real...

And so wrong. I'd hear Aeryn complain how bored she was with me on Earth, see
Chiana kiss my Dad ("Paging Dr. Freud!"), or stand by helplessly as PK
stormtroopers shot up my wedding reception. My hallucinatory Scorpius summed
it up perfectly: What did I expect?

In the real world, Pilot discovered that the grief-crazed Leviathan had
starved her own Pilot of nutrients, killing him. She'd also killed other
innocent ships, and would stop at nothing to add us to the list.

I wasn't good for much. Aeryn and D'Argo were siding with Rygel, asking
whether it was worth our lives to bury Talyn in a particular spot. So when
Moya asked us to kill the rogue, all credit goes to Chiana for sticking by our
mother ship and making us do the right thing: She insisted we bury Talyn as
Moya wanted, and even came up with the way to do it.

As Moya entered the burial ground and jettisoned Talyn's remains, Aeryn fired
on the pursuing rogue, distracting it. Meanwhile, I held D'Argo's ship steady
while he revved up one of its untested weapons.

I'm unclear on exactly how everything went down, because half the time I
seemed to be on Earth, learning how armed Luxans catch fish. (Don't ask.) What
matters is that D'Argo destroyed the rogue and I didn't fly us into the broad
side of a budong.

And, with that, we were done. No insane military commanders on our tail, no
obligations to fulfill.

D'Argo was leaving to take revenge on his wife's killer. Chiana planned to
find her brother and join the Nebari rebellion, Rygel plotted to recapture his
throne. Jool wanted to return home, and Aeryn set her sights on joining some
ex-PK Robin Hoods with really big guns.

And then there was me. Sure, I have a better grasp of wormholes now. Maybe I
could even find the way home. But home's no good without Aeryn. I want both.
You know how you get three wishes in the fairy tales? Turns out life isn't
like that. You just get one. If you're lucky.

My hallucinations, of course, were the old woman's zany way of doing me a
favor. I have to admit, disturbing as they were, they helped me clarify my
priorities. If I only get one wish, then I choose Aeryn. So I told her how I
felt.

She left anyway.

So did Rygel, Big D and Pip.

I saw them off in my Module, then stayed out, avoiding the empty, echoing
passageways aboard Moya. That's when Harvey popped out of my subconscious to
help me realize something big - something the old woman had been hiding under
the rug of my subconscious.

And right on cue, a wormhole opened up and swallowed Moya whole.

Leaving me lost. Alone. Adrift in deep space. Low on oxygen. And almost outta
fuel.

So, yeah, okay, maybe this will be the last message I ever write...
¡Crichton Kicks [#67]
*o*Data/FSCP/ckicks.Iff
There are worse places to be adrift than a Leviathan graveyard. There are also
better places. Hef's mansion comes to mind. But I got pretty lucky among the
ghosts.

The Leviathan Elack and his old female Pilot were ancient, sleepy and decent
enough to offer me a home while they waited for death. I resurrected their
DRDs, chugged moonshine, and became an honest-to-goodness mad scientist.
Believe it or not, ladies and gents (drumroll) -

I solved the equations for safe wormhole travel.

And I did it in the nick of time, because with Elack getting ready to go to
the big Starburst in the sky, those numbers represented what would soon be my
only available means of transportation.

Unfortunately, I guess blowing up other people's wormhole research was bad
karma, because a tiny alien spacecraft collided with Elack and destroyed all
my written notations. As a result, the craft's sole passenger and I didn't hit
it off so well when she crawled out of the wreckage to find me pointing Winona
at her.

Sikozu Svala Shanti Sugaysi Shanu (say it five times fast, I triple-dog dare
you) was a contractor for The Organization who had been hired by Grudeks to
find elderly Leviathans. Why? Because the Grudeks harvest Leviathan Neural
Cluster tissue, which apparently gets better with age. This stuff is called
toubray, and health-conscious rich aliens fork over massive amounts of
currency for a taste of it.

Nobody involved cares that the harvesting process kills innocent Leviathans.
Sikozu sure didn't. In fact, she'd naively done her job for the Grudeks too
well: She discovered the Leviathans' Sacred Burial Space, a toubray jackpot.
To keep the gold mine to themselves, the Grudeks decided to kill their
employee. She made a run for it, and they were right behind her all the way to
Elack.

The last thing I was gonna do was let these thugs kill helpless old Elack. I
woulda been dead weeks ago if Elack and his Pilot hadn't come along and taken
me in. Sikozu helped me...sorta. She had major book smarts about Leviathan
physiology, but she'd never set foot on one before. She talked a good game,
but mostly she ran around on the ceiling and gave me smart-ass attitude. We
laid an ambush for the Grudeks, but just when silence was golden -

- Chiana's voice crackled over my Comms. Pip, love ya, but your dulcet tones
nearly got me killed. The Grudeks' Brindz Hound, which had already snacked on
my leg, bit off Sikozu's hand before we escaped.

We met up with Chiana and Rygel in the Maintenance Bay. They'd learned, the
hard way, that our little family is starring on Grayza's Most Wanted, a show
that's become an overnight galactic hit thanks to the wanted beacons the
Peacekeepers put on every planet, ship and Commerce Station in a
10,000-light-year radius. Pip and Sparky were bruised, beaten and plenty
pissed at me over the traumas they'd endured. Chi was disturbingly hostile,
and Rygel was eerily nice - relatively speaking. Seeing them made me wonder
for the eight millionth time about Aeryn. I have so many questions I need to
ask her...

Anyway - at that moment, I was getting a long-overdue shave, Sikozu was
cutting a deal with the enemy, Elack was weakening as the Grudeks' harvest
progressed, and Cujo's psychotic alien cousin was stalking the corridors.

We were facing more than a few technical difficulties in disposing of the
Brindz Hound. Worse, the Grudeks were well-armed, they outnumbered us, and
Sikozu didn't want to kill her former employers so much as she wanted her job
back. Our severed heads would have been a nice bargaining chip in that
negotiation. Lucky for her, we clued her in that the head the Grudeks most
wanted on a plate was hers.

The plan we came up with relied on Chiana's growing ability to see the world
in super slow-mo, which gave her moments of exceptionally clear, detailed
sight - paid for afterwards by increasingly long periods of temporary
blindness. With Pip's visions, lotsa rope, Sikozu's "help" and some basic
physics, we had one shot to save Elack. If we blew it, we'd be a blind Nebari,
a hacked-up Hynerian and a mad scientist with multiple fractures trapped
aboard a dying ship, with no hope of rescue, no chance of escape and no backup
plan.

It was just like old times.
¡What Was Lost, Part 1 - "Sacrifice" [#68]
*o*Data/FSCP/what1.Iff
If Moya survived her trip down the wormhole, Chiana, Rygel, and I hoped she'd
fly to her original destination: Arnessk, a planet where Jool's people had an
archeological dig. Elack agreed to take us there.

Raise a glass - the long shot paid off. We found D'Argo, Jool, and the Old
Woman with the Interion archeologists. Jool couldn't remember what happened in
the wormhole, just said Pilot would explain when Moya returned. No one had
heard from Aeryn.

Instead, everybody'd gone ga-ga over the site's dusty history. Once upon a
time, Arnesskan Priests built a temple there that somehow ensured peace
between the Scarrans and Peacekeepers. Five hundred generations later, party
poopers fired three Darnaz Probes onto Arnessk, creating the Darnaz Triangle.
This screwed up the planet's magnetics. Eden vanished, the peace was
shattered, and the planet became an inhospitable rock. During certain periods,
people can still survive there - that's when the Interions schedule their
digs. When the deadly magnetics intensify again, everyone has to leave.

The dig leader, Instructor Vella, was the site's Nutty Professor, minus the
sense of humor. She'd already located two Darnaz Probes. If she found the
third, she believed she could free the planet from its magnetic prison.
Whatever. I just wanted to rejoin Moya and find Aeryn.

Sadly, up in orbit, old Elack was entering termination shutdown. While Rygel
urged the ship to hang on, Sikozu meddled with my Module. Can't protest
(much), 'cause she got it flying again and even rigged it to pick up
Peacekeeper transmissions.

I just wish she'd been faster to intercept the news that Grayza, Braca and
muchos PK commandos were planning a surprise visit to Arnessk.

Down below, oblivious to that particular threat, The Old Woman was all freaked
out over some cryptic apocalypse or something. Instead of giving me a straight
answer about Moya or Aeryn, she taught me how to turn on and drop out by
snorting bug guts, then raved about the dangers of the Darnaz Triangle.
Tagging along behind her was Oo-nii, who looked like a cross between a Brady
Bunch Tiki idol and a Martian Aqua-Dude. Still don't know what his deal is.

I also don't know the deal with D'Argo and Jool. Turns out, D'Argo enjoys
playing Indiana Jones almost as much as Jool does. He and Jool seem close, but
I wonder if they're truly compatible. After all, Jool worshipped Vella, who
didn't think Luxans were the brightest crayons in the galactic box. Color me
unsurprised.

The day grew more confusing when Grandma declared that the planet's Interion
"defilers" must die. To persuade me, she hit me with a faceful of herbs,
inducing my biggest Technicolor vision yet: the Arnessk glory days. Temple.
Priests. Probes - I even saw where the missing one landed. And a golden
tile...

I woke up in the water, with Oo-nii Hasselhoff dragging me to shore. By the
time I dried out, I realized Grandma'd scampered off with my pulse pistol and
learned Vella'd been turned to stone by a Serax carver - a slick excavation
tool and an even slicker murder weapon. D'Argo was drunk, grouchy, clutching
said carver, and standing over Vella's remains. Call me crazy, but I still
suspected Grandma.

Looking for her, I discovered the golden tile from my vision. Gave me
goosebumps, chills, the works - because I'm sure one of the markings on it was
ancient Egyptian. As in, from Earth.

At this point, Sikozu finally came planetside to warn us about the
Peacekeepers' arrival, but Miss Fashionably Late only reached D'Argo in time.
The rest of us found out the hard way: Grayza captured us. Then...

...then things got weird. Grayza'd brought Scorpius along - on a leash. She
claimed he was a peace offering. Claimed she wanted to be friends with me. And
I - don't get me wrong, I felt dirty, sick - but I wanted her. Needed her. I
can't explain it. Then...

I kissed her.

And that was just the beginning.
¡What Was Lost, Part 2 - "Resurrection" [#69]
*o*Data/FSCP/what2.Iff
After Grandma funky-dusted me into a cliff-diving lemming, I woke up in the
ocean. Oo-nii reeled me in and dragged me underwater to his lair, where he
began his own obsessive interrogation about the Darnaz Probes. Some rescue.

D'Argo and Sikozu drove him off, then told me I stunk. As in, more than usual.
Sikozu recognized the stench as Heppel oil, an aphrodisiac. Grayza apparently
possessed a surgically implanted Heppel gland. The oil it secreted induced
overwhelming lust, which explained what she'd done to me...

D'Argo had a plan to save us, but I didn't get to hear it. That's because step
one involved me providing a diversion by gettin' it on with Grayza, and when
she's working her oily mojo I can't keep secrets.

The planet's magnetics were worsening. We'd be dead in 10 arns if we didn't
escape. So I returned to Grayza and sucked it up. Wait - not literally. I
mean, she - but I didn't - um, moving on now.

Between innings, she made me spill my guts about wormholes, Scarrans,
everything. I tried to stay sane by getting under her skin. I mean, not -
except - anyway, I told her that she was Scorpy's minion. That I believed he
was orchestrating everything. In response, she led me outside and had me dig
Scorpy's grave. Yes, literally this time.

Then Braca shot Scorpius. Point-blank. In the back. Sikozu said ol' Scorpy
looked dead, and Grayza gave the order to bury him. I've dreamed about this
day for years; now that I've seen it with my own eyes, it feels like it's
still a dream...

...that turned back into a nightmare. Grayza dragged me back to her love nest.
I'm joking about it, but truth is, whatever guys say about there being no such
thing as bad sex, there are limits. Heavy-duty, barbed-wire limits. What
Grayza did to me was way the hell over that line. That's the last I'm saying.
What made it worthwhile is that, while I was with Grayza, Sikozu helped
Chiana, Jool and the Old Woman escape.

When D'Argo finally signaled that it was time to go, I was more than ready. I
jammed Laka bug guts up my nose just like Grandma taught me. Pow! Freed from
Grayza's control, I escaped, only to get pinned down by a Peacekeeper squad.
If I'd had Winona, they would've been toast. Unfortunately, Winona had been
swiped by Granny, and I was using a pale imitation of my faithful pulse pistol
that crapped out after a few shots. Lucky for me, Chiana and her posse were
passing my way; Jool tossed me her pulse pistol and we all got the hell out of
Dodge.

Our goal was to reach D'Argo's ship. Rygel had persuaded Elack and his Pilot
to end their lives by crashing into the planet and destroying the
Peacekeepers' Marauders, marooning our pursuers while we flew to safety. But
Elack left too early and nearly hit us. Rygel got word to Elack in time, and
the ancient, dying Leviathan used the last of his energy to delay his impact.

Even so, we barely escaped when the brave ship finally made his kamikaze
attack. The explosion destroyed two of the Marauders, but Grayza and her PK
G.I. Joes pursued us in the third. D'Argo launched a satellite probe ahead,
hoping they'd chase it instead of us. They seemed to take the bait. Then,
because D'Argo's ship was seriously banged up, we had to land on Arnessk once
more.

Bad news: The planet's magnetics were nearing lethal levels - we could barely
walk and we were all looking more faded than a pair of old bluejeans. Grayza
might return any moment, but we'd probably already be dead. Our last hope lay
in finding the third Darnaz Probe. If we could reactivate all three, maybe we
could neutralize the magnetics and restore the planet's original - read "safe"
- environment.

Then Oo-nii took a hand (or a flipper) in things: He wanted the powerful
probes for himself and the magnetics didn't bother him - a dangerous combo. We
were in for a fight, and I didn't have the strength to win by myself.

But I wasn't alone: my amigos had my back. And Arnessk still held more secrets
than any of us expected - if only we lived long enough to see them...
¡Lava's A Many Splendored Thing [#70]
*o*Data/FSCP/lava.Iff
I'll make this short and sweet, because today's been neither. D'Argo, Chiana,
Rygel, Sikozu, Noranti and I were searching for Moya in D'Argo's ship, Lo'La.
Since we hadn't eaten in about three solar days and there weren't any BBQ
shacks on the horizon, we risked eating Noranti's chow.

Cut to all of us puking our guts out on the first planet we could find. All of
us except Sikozu, who was the only one of us smart enough to skip breakfast at
Noranti's Intergalactic House of Nausea. (Maybe Sputnik really is a genius.)

Then Rygel, who'd flown his ThroneSled into a volcanic cave so he could take a
shlock in peace (or maybe because he thought a pit of boiling sulfur would
mask the smell), discovered crates filled with valuables. Before we could talk
him into leaving the stuff alone (like we don't have enough enemies dogging us
already), he tripped a booby trap. An amber substance solidified around most
of his body. An identical material sealed the cave's entrance. Chiana and
Sikozu were outside; after a futile attempt to blast our way out with D'Argo's
Qualta Rifle, he, Noranti, Rygel and I accepted that we were locked in.

The first two gun-toting guards to arrive (I'll call them Larry and Curly)
were stupider than Stooges. From our hiding place, D'Argo and I watched them
poke Rygel, who - gotta give him credit - actually tried to cover for us and
said he was alone. Before Big D and I could dot the I's and cross the T's on a
plan, Noranti decided these guys were Tarkans - noble freedom fighters who'd
forgive us for trespassing on their secret stash and probably thank us for
stopping by. Granny stepped out to say hello, and suddenly everyone was
shooting at us. (What a surprise. Like that's never happened before.) D'Argo
and I still could've ended it right there if these clowns hadn't been wearing
shield belts, devices that blocked our pulse blasts.

Larry and Curly took Rygel - still stuck in amber like a Jurassic Park
mosquito - deeper into the maze of lava tunnels. D'Argo, Noranti and I
followed. Their buddy Moe tried to kill us, but accidentally fried himself
when he released a river of lava on his head right in front of us. I beat my
high school's long-jump record getting over that thing.

Up above, Chi and Sputnik guessed that Lo'La's cannon could blast open the
entrance, but they couldn't activate the ship without D'Argo's DNA. Too bad
D'Argo hadn't left them a convenient supply of his bodily fluids. Oh, wait -
he had. Large, steaming mounds of it, in fact...

Over comms, D'Argo and I negotiated with Raa'Keel, the leader of the Stooges.
We explained this was all a big mix-up, and he seemed reasonable; said he'd
send two of his guys to lead us to Rygel so we could pick up our li'l green
buddy and skedaddle. Since we never trust reasonable people, D'Argo and I
decided to attack the escorts and claim their shield belts for ourselves.

Noranti mixed up one of her powders to help catch the guards, well, off-guard.
Whatever she dusted them with must've been industrial strength, because it
would take one hell of a hallucination to mask the horrors D'Argo and I were
forced to see while stone-cold sober...

We got the shield belts, left Granny to put her clothes back on, and headed to
the bottom of the cavern. There, our plan hit a snag. These guys were Tarkans,
all right, but they were thieves, stealing from the real Tarkan rebels, and
Raa'Keel didn't want any witnesses to his perfect plan. If our new belts
blocked lava as well as pulse blasts, D'Argo and I still could've chilled out.
But they didn't, so we were now at the mercy of a guy waving a bucket of
molten rock in our faces.

That's when Sikozu, her hands coated in D'Argo's vomit, blasted open the
cavern entrance with Lo'La's cannon. Big D and I told Raa'Keel that our
"squad" was coming in to whup his ass, and if "they" found us dead he was
toast. We forgot to mention that our squad was a couple of girls who looked
more like Catholic-school dropouts than the big, ugly thugs we said were on
the way. Raa'Keel handed his bucket of lava to another of his sub-genius
lackeys and told him to keep an eye on us. Then boss-man left to check out the
explosion.

While we were trying to talk sense to Raa'Keel's bucket boy, Rygel - who was
looking sicker than a Delta House pledge at the end of Hazing Week - toppled
head-first into another one of the booby-traps. The distraction helped me and
D'Argo get the drop on the guard, but the trap covered Rygel completely in
amber. And, just to make matters worse, our shrink-wrapped sovereign of stink
fell ass-over-earbrows into a giant pool of lava nearby.

There are adventures you volunteer for out of duty and honor, adventures on
which the fate of civilization rests. Then there are adventures in which,
because a talking frog with delusions of royalty tries to take a dump on a
treasure pile, everyone you know nearly gets flushed down the galactic toilet.
Personally, I prefer adventures that center around beer, girls, firecrackers
on Cocoa Beach and nobody getting killed.

Guess which one I had on my hands this time?
¡Promises [#71]
*o*Data/FSCP/promises.Iff
As Crichton, D'Argo, Chiana, Rygel and Noranti returned to Moya, I hesitated
to warn Crichton of what awaited him here. He found out soon enough: Aeryn Sun
had returned, but she was dying of Sebacean Heat Delirium - and Scorpius was
by her side. Scorpius had found her adrift in space, returned her to Moya, and
given her one of his coolant suits to stabilize her body temperature.

Crichton's horror at seeing his archnemesis as Aeryn's savior worsened when
Aeryn made him promise not to harm Scorpius. Crichton grudgingly agreed, but
remained suspicious that Scorpius was responsible for Aeryn's sickness.
Scorpius denied this, claiming that he now wished asylum aboard Moya only to
protect Crichton's wormhole knowledge.

While Crichton and D'Argo escorted Scorpius to a cell, Aeryn returned to one
of Moya's thermal chambers, where the cool air slowed the progression of her
Heat Delirium toward what Sebaceans call the Living Death. I, meanwhile,
encountered Sikozu, an arrogant, close-minded young Kalish who found fault
with my care of Moya. It certainly didn't surprise me to learn that the others
- especially Chiana - doubted Sikozu's integrity based on her odd affinity for
Scorpius.

I had hoped Aeryn would explain her predicament to Crichton, but she refused
to tell even him where she had been or how she had become ill. While Crichton
urged her to confide in him, Moya's senses detected a massive ship approaching
at great speed. It stopped perilously close to us, its gravitational field
overwhelming our senses and preventing a Starburst. Then its captain, Ullom,
declared that he had induced Aeryn's sickness - and possessed its only cure.

Crichton and D'Argo visited Ullom's ship, hoping to subdue Ullom and steal the
antidote. But Ullom didn't risk meeting them in person; he appeared to them as
a hologram. He explained that his world's Prime Hokothian had been
assassinated by Sebacean mercenaries. Before the assassins escaped, Ullom, the
Prime Hokothian's Chief Protector, induced Heat Delirium in them all.
Consequently, Aeryn's condition proved that she'd been involved in the plot.
Ullom demanded that Aeryn surrender and name her accomplices and employers. If
she cooperated, he said, he would cure her Heat Delirium.

Aeryn had other plans. Opening a visual Comms link to the Hokothian ship, she
put a pulse pistol to her head, saying that her death would end the stalemate
so that Ullom could release her friends, who had no part in her crimes.

Crichton, still on the alien ship, begged us to stop her, and Rygel did just
that, ramming her with his ThroneSled - a feat he couldn't have managed had
Officer Sun been healthy. Crichton and D'Argo returned to Moya, and we were
once again in a familiar predicament: facing the vengeful captain of a
powerful ship. Crichton held another painfully fruitless conversation with
Aeryn, who remained willing to die rather than break her oath of silence and
accede to Ullom's demands.

After leaving Aeryn, Crichton discovered Sikozu talking privately with
Scorpius. Luckily, Crichton was more open-minded about this situation than
Chiana or I might have been; he listened to Scorpius' explanation. Scorpius
had a device that, he claimed, could remove the Neural Clone from Crichton's
mind. If Crichton allowed Scorpius to help him in this way, Scorpius promised
he would share further vital information with us - information that could save
Aeryn's life.

With the Neural Clone putting up a mental battle, Crichton consented to the
procedure. This foolish risk paid off - the procedure worked. Crichton's mind
was entirely his own once more. The Neural Clone was dead.

Scorpius then revealed that he had a spy aboard Commandant Grayza's Command
Carrier. This person had transmitted the chilling news that Captain Braca was
piloting a Prowler, armed with a Leviathan-killing missile, toward Moya's
location. The Peacekeepers had found us.

Even if we had been willing to run from Ullom and, in so doing, abandon
Aeryn's last hope of a cure, escape was no longer an option. The missile could
ride Moya's slipstream through Starburst. We had no defense against such a
weapon.

Furthermore, if we didn't soon resolve our dangerous standoff with Ullom,
Aeryn - and likely the rest of us - would be dead before Braca even arrived...
¡Natural Election [#72]
*o*Data/FSCP/natele.Iff
Hi, Chiana here, pleeking around with Pilot's log. He's letting me record the
plant battle since he's still helping Moya recover (and picking plant bits out
of his teeth). So here we go...

We were all watching - especially that nerfer Sikozu - when a wormhole showed
up just microts after Crichton predicted it would. The draddest, right? Nah,
nothing that nice ever happens to us. After the wormhole closed, something
rammed Moya from out of nowhere. Everything went black - even the stars.

Moya felt like she was being burned alive. D'Argo and Crichton actually had to
go outside to see the problem: Moya'd been snared by a gigantic space plant
lurking near the wormhole. The frelling grislack was eating our ship!

Meanwhile (speaking of frelling grislacks), I found Sikozu putting out a fire
in Scorpius' cell. I thought Scorpy'd set it himself to make us free him. But
it turned out the overloads and ruptures were starting fires all over Moya.
While I put those out, Crichton and D'Argo took plant samples to Noranti and
Sikozu for analysis.

Then I came across Aeryn. And she told me she's pregnant. Crichton already
knew - but what he didn't know was that she didn't know who the father was.
Get me? The way Peacekeeper pregnancies work, it could be any lover Aeryn's
had in the last seven cycles. I don't know if I could remember every guy I've
- what'd ya say Pilot? ... (Sigh.) As I was saying...

After Aeryn blew my mind, Crichton and D'Argo flew out in Lo'La and shot the
plant - just as Sikozu and Noranti realized that blasting it was the worst
thing we could do. Attacking the plant made it retreat - into Moya. Now it was
eating our Leviathan from the inside.

'Cause I was a stupid greebol, I crawled into the walls to investigate. There
were plant tentacles everywhere - scared me grotless, and I was still a little
tinked in the head when I met up with D'Argo later; maybe that's why I blabbed
Aeryn's secret to him.

A couple microts later, I was alone with Aeryn again, checking out Moya's
neural lobes. Of course, that's when Aeryn asked me not to tell anyone about
her secret - and to forget she'd even told me.

Frell.

I got out of there before I said anything else to get myself in even deeper
dren. When the neural lobes started exploding, Aeryn escaped to Pilot's den,
but the plant had attacked Pilot, too.

We had to get Pilot conscious again. After Scorpius revealed that the plant
shriveled up whenever he touched it, Aeryn chained him to Pilot's console and
the tentacles pulled away.

This wasn't 'cause the plant had good taste; it was 'cause the blue stuff in
Scorpy's coolant rods could kill it. D'Argo and Crichton went to Scorpy's cell
to snurch all his extra rods. And that's when D'Argo told Crichton about
Aeryn's baby and its Big Bad Mystery Daddy...

Hey, did I mention that Rygel was temporary captain during all this? Just
trying out the job 'til we held an election like Pilot asked. Well, by now His
Royal Frellness was sulking and feeling guilty because Moya might die on his
watch. Weird. Frogpuss never goes in for that guilt stuff...

Anyway, Sikozu diluted the coolant-rod formula. Crichton and Aeryn took a big
bucket of it to the atmospheric scrubber complex, where fans could blow it all
through Moya. A frelling drad idea...

Except the plant was already in the atmospheric scrubbers. It broke apart one
of the big fans, the flying shrapnel knocked over the bucket of blue stuff and
nearly killed Aeryn.

And remember Crichton's wormhole? We'd drifted right over its coordinates,
Moya couldn't move, and it was due to open again really soon. So either this
stupid plant would eat us from the inside out, or the wormhole would suck us
in and spit us out in pieces. Whichever way you looked at it, we were frelled.

Hey, Pilot, can you finish this? Crichton's leaving for a Commerce Planet and
I wanna go. How do I save this? Is it this one? ... Oops. I didn't break it,
did I? Sorry. See you when I get back!
¡John Quixote [#73]
*o*Data/FSCP/quixote.Iff
On our latest trip to a Commerce Planet, Chiana bought a bunch of game blobs;
squish one to bare flesh, launch a virtual-reality world. She was sampling
them as I flew us home in a Transport Pod. Then, just as D'Argo commed to say
there was trouble on Moya, Chi squeezed a must-see blob against my hand.

The game was a bad flashback: Gammak Base. Gilina. Scorpius. Then, almost
instantly, the program zapped us to a higher level: Swords. Armor. An ivory
tower with a blonde Aeryn held captive up top. And, oh yeah - a falling
television hitting me on the head... Huh?

I was confused, hurting and ready to leave. We demanded the exit. Instead, a
simulated Stark showed up, calling himself the game's avatar.

Incredibly, this game was based on my memories. When the other Crichton, my
twinned self, was dying, Stark mystically eased his passage, absorbing that
Crichton's memories in the process. After Stark left to search for his dead,
beloved Zhaan, he apparently sold his - and my - memories to a game designer
named Yoti. And Yoti turned Stark's neural template into Super Mario Crichton.

Stark gave us two ways out: First, win the game by kissing "a princess fair,
by ugliness enslaved"; or, second, find and open a green door. He also gave us
three voucher pearls to squeeze if we needed more hints.

Kissing princesses is risky, plus we needed out ASAP; our real bodies were
helpless in the unpiloted pod, and Moya was in trouble. Looking for green
doors, we met a big, ugly blue guy who claimed to be Zhaan. My memories of
this part are kinda hazy - Pip won't say why - but, after Bizarro Zhaan
freaked out about a fearsome ogre, he split.

Back to our quest. One Hynerian Black Knight and one pearl voucher later, we
ran into D'Argo, who was dressed like the Swiss Miss and holding Jool and
another Chiana in a cage. (Totally Yoti's invention, by the way. I have my
fantasies; D'Argo in lederhosen ain't one of them.) There was also a green
door. I opened it, woke up on the pod, and commed D'Argo, who reported that
Scorpius was loose, Sikozu was missing, and a Command Carrier was on the way.
Yet another wonderful day in my life.

Chiana was still in the game's trance. I tried to pull her outta
Never-Neverland, but accidentally touched the game blob and got sucked back to
D'Argo's gingerbread house. There, my Chiana was missing. I burned another
pearl voucher asking Stark where she'd gone. He sent me to an elevator.

On the way up, I had a chat with Crichton Headroom and slew a few monsters.
Curiouser and curiouser. In the tower's penthouse was Aeryn herself, with a
white dress, blonde hair, and a Southern accent scarier than her butler:
Scorpius in a Pinocchio outfit.

Then her boyfriend, The Ogre, arrived: It was Crais, complete with horns.
Before things got violent, Chiana ran in and we skipped out a green door,
returned to the pod, and raced back to Moya.

There, Scorpius was taking over the minds of our crewmates. He had already
enslaved Pilot and Aeryn. If we killed Scorpy, his neural links with our
friends would kill them, too. Chiana avoided capture, but Aeryn locked me into
one of Moya's cells.

Once I was alone, Chiana brought me the game blob so we could speak privately.
If I could force Scorpius to enter the game's trance, she said, the people
under his control would be helpless. Chi could tie 'em up and we'd be back on
top.

Unfortunately, Scorpy got his hand around my neck before I could activate the
blob. The game sucked him in, but, back on Moya, he was still choking me. I
figured I was toast, but then Aeryn dragged my hand off the game. Free of
Scorpy's clutches, we ran. Except Aeryn suddenly seemed too eager to be with
me. She even professed her undying love for me...

Sad to say, that's what tipped me off. Finding the third pearl voucher in my
pocket only proved it: Chiana and I had never left the game. Our bodies were
still stuck on a speeding Transport Pod with no one in the driver's seat; our
minds were still stuck in Stark's world. If green doors didn't work, that left
us one option.

Chiana and I set out to kiss ourselves a princess.