¡The End [#1] 1987025*o*Data/REDD/0101.iff A radiation leak wipes out the crew of the mining ship Red Dwarf, leaving only one survivor - chicken soup machine repair man, Dave Lister. After three million years in suspended animation, Lister emerges to find he is the last human being in the universe. But he is not alone. - Classic Dwarf Lister is told by the captain that Frankenstien will not be put back together after it's been dissected. "Well with respect, sir, what's in it for the cat?" Rimmer's attempt to cheat in his astro-navigation exam fails when sweat ruins the answers he had written on his body. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : Robert Bathurst (Todhunter) Paul Bradley (Chen) David Gillespie (Selby) Mac McDonald (Captain Hollister) Robert McCulley (McIntyre) Mark Williams (Peterson) C. P. Grogan (Kochanski) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Future Echoes [#2] 1987025*o*Data/REDD/0102.iff When Red Dwarf breaks the speed of light, time dilates, and the crew begin to experience visions from their own future. Sadly for Lister his future appears to include being reduced to his component atoms by a rather large explosion. Happily for Rimmer, Lister's future appears to include being reduced to his component atoms by a rather large explosion. - Classic Dwarf Rimmer walks in and has an utterly nonsensical conversation with Lister. Then does it again - only this time, things are beginning to come clear... Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : John Lenahan (Toaster) Tony Hawks (Dispensing Machine) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Balance Of Power [#3] 1987025*o*Data/REDD/0103.iff Rimmer encounters his most dangerous blood chilling challenge ever - Lister is taking the chef's exam. If Lister passes he will hold sufficient rank to have Rimmer replaced as the ship's hologram. Just how low will the universe's most obnoxious dead man stoop to stop him? - Classic Dwarf Why did Holly bring Rimmer back, Lister wails, "Hermann Goering would have been better than Rimmer. Okay he was a drug-crazed transvestite, but at least we could have gone dancing." Lister has spilt a goat vindaloo over Rimmer's time-table, causing Rimmer to waste his outlawed learning drugs on memorising a conversation with his unapologetic bunk-mate. Rimmer discovers he still has Kochanski's right breast, and asks for his own nipple back. "There's no rush, Holly." Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : Rupert Bates (Trout A La Creme / Chef) Paul Bradley (Chen) David Gillespie (Selby) Mark Williams (Peterson) C. P. Grogan (Kochanski) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Waiting For God [#4] 1987025*o*Data/REDD/0104.iff Holly, the ship's computer, recovers a strange unidentified pod floating in the frozen wastes of Deep Space. Rimmer is convinced it contains the remains of a long-dead alien warrior, and immediately begins a scientific investigation to decipher the pod's hieroglyphics. Meanwhile, Lister's rather mundane day perks up a little when he discovers he is a God. - Classic Dwarf The credits roll just as Rimmer discovers the contents of the 'alien' vessel: "It's a smegging garbage pod!" Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : Noel Coleman (Cat Priest) John Lenahan (Toaster) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Confidence And Paranoia [#5] 1987025*o*Data/REDD/0105.iff Lister contracts a mutated pneumonia virus. The hallucinations of his fevered brain materialise in solid form, and suddenly the ship is beset by herring rain and exploding sixteenth century mayors of Warsaw. When his fever breaks, Lister wakes up to find he has created personifications of his Confidence and Paranoia, and a war of manipulation begins. - Classic Dwarf One of the skutters attempts to thrust a hypodermic needle into Paranoia on Rimmer's command, but is caught in the act: "This is 'Stabbim,' one of our skutters..." Confidence insists that "Oxygen's for losers" and proves his point by removing his helmet during a space walk. The Cat cleans his dirty washing. With his tongue. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : Lee Cornes (Paranoia) Craig Ferguson (Confidence) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Me2 [#6] 1987025*o*Data/REDD/0106.iff Rimmer, the odious hologram, creates his perfect companion - an identical duplicate of himself. He moves out of the quarters he shares with Lister and starts rooming with his doppelganger. At first things are blissful, but the course of true love never runs smoothly, and soon the two Rimmers find themselves locked in a conflict so fierce, only one of them can survive. - Classic Dwarf Holly informs Lister that his mouldy sausages have taken over the Earth. The Cat goes a-courting. On roller-skates. With a megaphone: "Attention all lady cats! I am feeling very sexy!" Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : Mac McDonald (Captain Hollister) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Kryten [#7] 1988025*o*Data/REDD/0201.iff Rimmer's donned his best uniform and Lister's put on his smelly orange moon boots, even Holly's wearing a toupee... after all, what self respecting smeg head could possibly resist a cry for help from three damsels and an android in distress? - Classic Dwarf The crew discover that the Nova V's female crew are decidedly skeletal, Lister nudges Rimmer: "I think the blonde one's giving you the eye." Lister discovers Kryten's been doing his laundry: "No way are these my boxer shorts - these bend!" Kryten steps back from his Rimmer portrait to reveal a painting of Arnie on the bog. He's rebelling. "What are you rebelling against?" Asks Rimmer. "Whatta ya got?" Kryten replies in his best Brando brogue. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : David Ross (Kryten) Johanna Hargreaves (The Esperanto Woman) Tony Slattery (Android Actor) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Better Than Life [#8] 1988025*o*Data/REDD/0202.iff It's cool! It's wild! It's Better Than Life - the new game sensation sweeping the solar system. Just dream and pleasure will be yours! Unless you have a mind like Rimmer's that is... - Classic Dwarf The Cat's hungry, but Lister informs him that Rimmer's father has died. The Cat considers, "Well I'd prefer chicken." Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : John Abineri (Rimmer's Dad) Debbie Ash (Marilyn Monroe) Jeremy Austin (Rathbone) Nigel Carrivick (The Captain) Tony Hawks (The Guide) Judy Hawkins (McGruder) Tina Jenkins (The Newsreader) Ron Pember (The Taxman) Gordon Salkilld (Gordon) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Thanks For The Memory [#9] 1988025*o*Data/REDD/0203.iff Rimmer's depressed - no one loves him. Not even his fried egg, chutney and chilli sauce sandwich. It's about time he had a damp dream at least. Then four days go missing and Lister and Cat wake up with their legs in plaster... Have the aliens landed at last? - Classic Dwarf Rimmer explains how an alien communicates by breaking legs and doing jig-saws. "I wouldn't like to be around when one of these suckers is making a speech!" responds the Cat. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : Sabra Williams (Lise Yates) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Stasis Leak [#10] 1988025*o*Data/REDD/0204.iff The crew of Red Dwarf have found a way to go back in time three million years. Back to the freaky fungus and the luscious Kochanski - the two loves of Lister's life. Who knows? Rimmer could even find Rimmer before he dies and bring him back so he doesn't have to be dead anymore. - Classic Dwarf Holly explains the episode title, "A stasis leak is a leak, right, in stasis. Hence the name 'a stasis leak.'" Lister discovers the secret love letters Rimmer wrote to Carol McCauley. "Your eyes are like two limpid pools of loveliness, your hair is like a golden waterfall. Plus those short skirts you wear make me really horny." The Cat is baffled by the stasis leak: "What is it?" he asks. Rimmer explains that it's a rent in the space-time continuum. Cat asks, "What is it?" again. Three more times. Until it's finally put it into words he can comprehend: "Oh, a magic door. Well why didn't you say?" The Cat looks down at a naked man in the shower: "Don't worry - it's personality that counts." Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : Morwenna Banks (The Lift Hostess) Sophie Doherty (Kochanski's Room Mate) C. P. Grogan (Kochanski) Richard Hainsworth (The Medical Orderly) Tony Hawks (The Suitcase) Mac McDonald (Captain Hollister) Mark Williams (Peterson) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Queeg [#11] 1988025*o*Data/REDD/0205.iff Holly's been deposed and the backup computer Queeg 500 is in control of the Red Dwarf. Will Lister and Cat lead a revolt after they've cleaned the corridor floors? Will Rimmer's legs ever be the same again after Queeg's fitness regime? Has Holly got something up his sleeves? Would he know where to look if he had sleeves anyway? - Classic Dwarf Under Holly's direction Lister joins two cables and is blown away by an explosion. "Or was it the white cable..." Holly wonders aloud. Forced to scrub the floor, the Cat explains why he cannot wear the rubber gloves provided: "Marigold with blue, are you crazy?!" Holly emerges from his Queeg disguise to surprised glares: "We are talking April, May, June, July and August fool," he chuckles. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : Charles Augins (Queeg) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Parallel Universe [#12] 1988025*o*Data/REDD/0206.iff Climb aboard Holly's new "hop drive" and journey into a parallel universe where everything exists exactly the same but opposite. Imagine the horror of a female Rimmer and a pregnant Lister... - Classic Dwarf The crew do a song and dance number, 'Tongue Tied,' to start the show. The Cat really does have some weird dreams. Lister is discovered by the Rimmers to have slept with his female self. And what with this being a parallel universe, "You could very well, possibly, be up the duff, laddie," Rimmer gloats. - Tongue Tied : When I saw you for the first time My knees began to quiver And I got a funny feeling In my kidneys and my liver - My hands they started shakin' My heart began a-thumpin' My breakfast left my body It all really tells me something - Girl you make me tongue tied Tongue tied, whenever you are near me Tied tongue, Tied tongue Whenever you're in town - I saw you 'cross the dance floor I thought of birds and bees And when I tried to speak to ya My tongue unraveled to my knees - I tried to say I love you But it came out kind of wrong, girl It sounded like "Nunubididoo" Nuh mur nuh murh ni nong nurl - 'Cause you make me tongue tied Tongue tied, whenever you are near me Be-dobby-durgle Tongue tied, whenever you're around - Oh I'm beggin' on my knees Sweet, sweet darling, listen please Understand me when I say Bedurble-diggle-dooby-doggle-durgle-day - I'm trying to say nungy-nangy Ningy-nongy, why can't I tell you clearly Be-dobby-durgle, Durgle-dobby Whenever you're around Whenever you're around Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : Suzanne Bertish (Rimmer) Angela Bruce (Lister) Matthew Devitt (Dog) Hattie Hayridge (Hilly) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Backwards [#13] 1989025*o*Data/REDD/0301.iff The Red Dwarf crew return to Earth to find Time is running backwards. With some brilliant trick photography and ingenious stunts, this now-classic episode heralds the arrival of the new-look Red Dwarf. - Classic Dwarf Lister poses perhaps the universe's most vital question to the Cat, "D'you ever see The Flintstones? Do you think Wilma's sexy?" The pub unexplodes into a massive backwards brawl, leaving Rimmer to cower under a table as Lister is unthrown through a window. The Cat emerges from the bushes having discovered that bowel movements are infinitely less satisfying in a reverse reality. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Hattie Hayridge (Holly) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Cast : Maria Friedman (Waitress) Tony Hawks (Compere) Anna Palmer (Customer In Cafe) Arthur Smith (Pub Manager) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Produced By : Ed Bye Rob Grant Doug Naylor ¡Marooned [#14] 1989025*o*Data/REDD/0302.iff As Red Dwarf heads on a collision course towards a minefield of Black Holes, the crew is forced to abandon ship. Lister finds himself marooned on an arctic moon with Rimmer and only a pot noodle and a tin of dog food between him and starvation. - Classic Dwarf Lister explains how he lost his virginity, aged 12, on Bootle Municipal Golf Course. "Twelve!" Exclaims Rimmer, "You can't have been a full member of the golf club." To avoid starvation, Lister swallows a mouthful of dog food. Probably a wise decision given the alternative - a pot noodle. Lister agrees to sacrifice his guitar to the fire and is given a moment alone to say goodbye. Then he cuts a guitar-shaped piece of wood from Rimmer's father's camphor-wood chest... Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Hattie Hayridge (Holly) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Produced By : Ed Bye Rob Grant Doug Naylor ¡Polymorph [#15] 1989025*o*Data/REDD/0303.iff A chameleonic genetic mutant which salivates unspeakable slobber gets loose aboard Red Dwarf, and the nightmare begins. The crew are subjected to twenty-four hours of non-stop horror in a gruesome, petrifying comedy blood-feast. - Classic Dwarf The Cat elects not to eat with the gear Lister's nicked from the medical unit: "You think I've got nothing better to do than sit around watching you serve chicken chausseur in a stool bucket?" The shrinking boxer shorts scene. Enough said. Drained of his anger, Rimmer holds a crew meeting, the upshot of which is to hit the Polymorph hard and fast with a major leaflet campaign. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Hattie Hayridge (Holly) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Cast : Frances Barber (Genny) Simon Gaffney (Young Rimmer) Kalli Greenwood (Mrs. Rimmer) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Produced By : Ed Bye Rob Grant Doug Naylor ¡Bodyswap [#16] 1989025*o*Data/REDD/0304.iff A skutter goes berserk and rewires all the ship's circuitry. So when Lister orders a chocolate bar from one of the snack dispensers, he accidentally triggers off the ship's self-destruct sequence. There is only one way to diffuse the bomb, but it involves Lister lending his body to a female officer. This gets Rimmer thinking... - Classic Dwarf Lister accidentally sets off the self-destruct system by ordering a milkshake and a crispy bar. Lister's mind is safely stowed onto tape - which the Cat promptly drops into his tea. Rimmer emerges from the wreckage of Starbug in Lister's body. "You've lost me arm!" Lister bemoans. "I've lost your watch, too," responds Rimmer. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Hattie Hayridge (Holly) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Produced By : Ed Bye Rob Grant Doug Naylor ¡Timeslides [#17] 1989025*o*Data/REDD/0305.iff The crew of the Red Dwarf run amok through history, blithely ignoring the consequences of causality. When Kryten discovers some mutated developing fluid which prints photographs the crew can walk into, they find they are able to change their pasts. - Classic Dwarf Lister stands at Nurenberg with Hitler, yelling to the crowd, "Ignore him! He's a complete and total nutter! And he's only got one testicle!" Rimmer decides to retrieve Lister from his wealthy, sex-filled fate. "It's my duty," he insists. "My duty as a complete and utter bastard!" Realising he has somehow been brought to life, Rimmer issues his orders: "Kryten! Unpack Rachel and get out the puncture repair kit!" Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Hattie Hayridge (Holly) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Cast : Robert Addie (Gilbert) Rupert Bates (Bodyguard) Richard Hainsworth (Bodyguard) Emile Charles (Young Lister) Simon Gaffney (Young Rimmer) Stephen Mckintosh (Thicky Holden) Louisa Ruthven (Ski Woman) Koo Stark (Lady Sabrina Mulholland-Jjones) Mark Steel (Ski Man) Ruby Wax (American Presenter) Adolf Hitler (Himself) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Produced By : Ed Bye Rob Grant Doug Naylor ¡The Last Day [#18] 1989025*o*Data/REDD/0306.iff Kryten discovers his built-in expiry date is almost up and he has less than twenty-four hours to live. The crew are determined to give the mechanoid the best night of his life. For the first time, he experiences true pleasure and wants to delay his ascent into Silicon Heaven, the resting place for all electrical appliances. Then his replacement shows up... - Famous Firsts Lister's first drunken binge, puking from the top of the Eiffel Tower (the resulting mess was later sold to a Texan tourist as a genuine Jackson Pollock); and Rimmer's first French kiss - with his unknowing uncle Frank, who snuck into his room in the middle of the night and mistook Rimmer for his mother. - Classic Dwarf Hudzen's promo vid shows off his strength by breaking a brick in two. Without his hands. Put it this way, he's got more interesting things down there than a vacuum cleaner socket. The crew elect to support Kryten. "Is this the human value you call 'friendship'?" the mechanoid asks. "Don't give me this Star Trek crap, it's too early in the morning," snaps Lister. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Hattie Hayridge (Holly) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten / Jim Reaper) Cast : Julie Higginson (Girl Android) Gordon Kennedy (Hudzen) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Produced By : Ed Bye Rob Grant Doug Naylor ¡Camille [#19] 1991025*o*Data/REDD/0401.iff Kryten, Red Dwarf's on board mechanoid, rescues a female droid - Camille - from a crashed vessel. She's a 4000 series just like him, only a GTi model with realistic toes and a slide-back sunroof head. Kryten finds himself falling in advanced mutual compatibility on the basis of a primary ident (what humans call "love at first sight") only to find that true advanced mutual compatibility never runs in a non-glitch, bug-free way. - Classic Dwarf Kryten attempts to learn the finer points of lying by, erm, describing an apple as "The Bolivian Navy on manoeuvres in the South Pacific." The Cat meets his ideal mate - and it turns out to be himself. "Can you think of anyone more deserving?" Kryten loses Camille to Hector the blob, but is quite philosophical about it: "It's the old, old story - droid meets droid, droid becomes chameleon, droid loses chameleon, chameleon turns into blob, droid gets blob back again. Blob meets blob, blob goes off with blob and droid loses blob, chameleon and droid. How many times have we seen that story?" Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Hattie Hayridge (Holly) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Cast : Judy Pascoe (Mechnoid Camille) Francesca Folan (Hologram Camille) Suzanne Rhatigan (Kochanski Camille) Rupert Bates (Hector Blob) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡D.N.A. [#20] 1991025*o*Data/REDD/0402.iff The crew lock on to an unidentified craft containing the ultimate genetic engineering technology - a machine that can transform any living thing into any other living thing, by re-writing its DNA. A blessing or a curse? Then Lister's curry finds its way into the transmogrifier and assumes near-human form. - Classic Dwarf Lister gets caught in the transmogrifier's beam and is transformed into... a chicken. Oh, and then a hamster. Kryten becomes disappointed with his new body - the nipples don't work, there's no zoom function, and there have been occurrences in his underpants so bizarre that he's been taking photographs to show Lister. Lister realises what it will take to destroy the curry monster: "Of course! Lager! The only thing that can kill a vindaloo!" Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Hattie Hayridge (Holly) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Cast : Richard Ridings (D.N.A. Computer Voice) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Justice [#21] 1991025*o*Data/REDD/0403.iff Innate justice does not exist anywhere in the known universe except, that is, for Justice World, an abandoned penal colony equipped with a "justice field" which inflicts the consequences of a crime on its perpetrator. The innocent have nothing to fear. Rimmer is in big trouble. - Classic Dwarf Lister's puss-filled head bursts: "Talk about a weight off your mind!" Rimmer's trial. "Would Lister describe the accused as a friend?" "No, I'd describe the accused as a git." "Are there no others who have shared moments of intimacy with him?" "Only one, but she's got a puncture." Lister and the simulant battle in the Justice Zone. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Hattie Hayridge (Holly) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Cast : Nicholas Ball (The Simulant) James Smillie (Justice Computer Voice) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡White Hole [#22] 1991025*o*Data/REDD/0404.iff Holly regains her genius level IQ and for reasons best known to herself powers down the ship, leaving the crew drifting helplessly towards a White Hole. Will Rimmer sacrifice his hologramatic life to save the rest of the crew? - Classic Dwarf "Howdy doodly doo!" Kryten repairs the utterly irritating Talkie Toaster after the accident, "Why, that was no accident - that was first degree toastercide." Lister becomes concerned that his lack of attention in science class may be his undoing: "Why did I always turn to page 47 and start drawing little beards and moustaches on the sperms?" The deciding vote for planet pool goes to the Cat, and even though he thinks Rimmer's right, "I could not bring myself to vote for someone with your dress sense. I don't want to put my cross next to the bri-nylon party!" Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Hattie Hayridge (Holly) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Cast : David Ross (Talkie Toaster) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Dimension Jump [#23] 1991025*o*Data/REDD/0405.iff In a universe almost identical to our own, another Arnold Rimmer exists. A test pilot in the Space Corps, he is charming, popular, brave and modest. After his test craft breaks the speed of reality, he finds himself face to face with his counterpart aboard Red Dwarf. - Classic Dwarf Bongo, Ace Rimmer's commanding officer, has a hunch Ace might be returning: "Rubber shares went up this morning." To close the show, Rimmer conducts the skutters in a Hammond organ version of the Red Dwarf theme tune. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer / Ace Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister / Spanners) Danny John-Jules (Cat / Priest) Hattie Hayridge (Holly / Melly) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten / Bongo) Cast : Kalli Greenwood (Mrs. Rimmer) Simon Gaffney (Young Rimmer) Hetty Baynes (Cockpit Computer) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Meltdown [#24] 1991025*o*Data/REDD/0406.iff A matter transporter whisks the crew to Waxworld - a giant theme park, where the waxdroids have broken their programming, and are running amok. Hitler, Caligula and the Boston Strangler lead an army of darkness against the forces of Elvis, Gandhi and Stan Laurel. - Classic Dwarf Lister teaches Rimmer a lesson by swallowing his light bee: "He'll come out in a couple of days. Does anyone fancy a vindaloo?" Elvis closes the show with his rendition of the Red Dwarf theme. "Thank you very much." Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Hattie Hayridge (Holly) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Cast : Clayton Mark (Elvis Presley) Kenneth Hadley (Adolf Hitler) Martin Friend (Einstein) Stephen Tiller (Pythagorus) Jack Klaff (Abraham Lincoln) Tony Hawks (Caligula) Michael Burrell (Pope Gregory) Forbes Masson (Stan Laurel) Roger Blake (Noel Coward) Pauline Bailey (Marilyn Monroe) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Holoship [#25] 1992025*o*Data/REDD/0501.iff Rimmer is transmitted from Red Dwarf to the advanced Holoship "Enlightenment" which contains the cream of the Space Corps. Everything he has dreamed of exists on this ship. Can he earn a commission to join this fantastic vessel? - Classic Dwarf Rimmer is abducted in a flash of light. Kryten: "They've taken Mr. Rimmer!" Cat: "Quick, let's get out of here before they bring him back!" The holocrew usually talk during sex, making Rimmer seem quite ignorant when he nails Nirvana Crane: "I hardly said anything, apart from 'geronimo'!" Rimmer bids his crewmates farewell: "Over the years I've come to regard you all as... people I met." Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Hattie Hayridge (Holly) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Cast : Jane Horrocks (Nirvanah Crane) Matthew Marsh (Captain Platini) Don Warrington (Commander Binks) Lucy Briers (Harrison) Simon Day (Number Two) Jane Montgomery (Number One) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Juliet May ¡The Inquisitor [#26] 1992025*o*Data/REDD/0502.iff The Inquisitor roams through Time weeding out life's wastrels and deleting the worthless - the Red Dwarf crew are in big, big trouble. - Classic Dwarf The Cat justifies his existence to the Inquisitor by simply pointing out, "I have given pleasure to the world because I have such a beautiful ass." Lister proves he knows Rimmer by reminding him of his greenhouse tryst with Fiona Barrington: "You thought you'd got lucky, but it turned out that all the time you had your hand in warm compost." Lister uses a severed hand to by-pass a security scanner. Kryten is disgusted, "If mechanoid's could barf I'd be onto my fifth bag by now!" Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Hattie Hayridge (Holly) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Cast : John Docherty (Inquisitor) Jake Abraham (Second Lister) James Cormack (Thomas Allman) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Juliet May Grant Naylor ¡Terrorform [#27] 1992025*o*Data/REDD/0503.iff Rimmer is taken prisoner inside his own mind and ends up being stripped, oiled, manacled, licked, chained, taunted, humiliated and nearly has a knobbly thing the size of a Mexican agarve cactus jammed up where only customs men dare to probe. - Classic Dwarf Frozen with fear at the 'spider' making its way up his leg, Lister types his message to the Cat: "The lower half of my body has gone numb." "That's probably for the best," the Cat replies. Should the crew dive in to rescue Rimmer, or sit like lemons and watch him get tortured? Cat: "Anybody got any opera glasses?" Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Hattie Hayridge (Holly) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Cast : Sara Stockbridge (Handmaiden) Francine Walker-Lee (Handmaiden) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Juliet May ¡Quarantine [#28] 1992025*o*Data/REDD/0504.iff After an encounter at a viral research centre, Rimmer forces the crew to spend twelve weeks in quarantine. But who's watching the watcher? - Classic Dwarf Dr. Lanstrom blasts at the crew with her hex-vision. Lister: "Why is it we never meet anyone nice?" Cat: "Why is it we never meet anyone who can shoot straight?" Rimmer emerges from around a corner, glove puppet fuming: "Mr Flibble's very cross..." Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Hattie Hayridge (Holly) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Cast : Maggie Steed (Dr. Hildegarde Lanstrom) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Grant Naylor ¡Demons & Angels [#29] 1992025*o*Data/REDD/0505.iff Who knows what evil lurks within the hearts of men? The Red Dwarf crew find out when they encounter their dark sides - four evil "doppelgangers" hell bent on their destruction. - Classic Dwarf Lister and the Cat taste the impossible - an edible Pot Noodle. Operating under remote-control Lister is forced to eat a live tarantula. Ugh. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Hattie Hayridge (Holly) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Juliet May Grant Naylor ¡Back To Reality [#30] 1992025*o*Data/REDD/0506.iff The crew of Red Dwarf discover an abandoned space ship on an ocean bed but suddenly the salvage operation doesn't sound quite so sexy when they realise all of the occupants of the vessel committed suicide. Attack by a gigantic sea monster makes escape the favourite option. - Classic Dwarf Lister assess the possibilities of a giant squid attack: "It thinks we're either a threat, food or a mate - it's gonna either kill us, eat us or hump us." The Cat discovers he is really Duane Dibbley, sandal-wearing, thermos-toting loser. "So this is really me?" he asks. "A no-style gimbo with teeth the druids could use as a place of worship? The crew hallucinate a high-speed car chase. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer / Billy Doyle) Craig Charles (Lister / Sebastian Doyle) Danny John-Jules (Cat / Dwayne Dibly) Hattie Hayridge (Holly) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten / Jake Bullet) Cast : Timothy Spall (Andy) Lenny Von Dohlen (Cop) Anastasia Hille (New Kochanski) Marie McCarthy (Nurse) John Sharian (New Lister) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Grant Naylor ¡Psirens [#31] 1993025*o*Data/REDD/0601.iff In pursuit of the stolen Red Dwarf, Lister and Co are attacked by Psirens - creatures who lure space-farers to their deaths with a lethal combination of telepathic manipulation and scanty clothing. - Classic Dwarf Lister clambers out of deep-sleep with long hair, a beard and extremely long fingernails - which he trims down on the table-top pencil-sharpener. The crew discover the fake Lister by tricking him into playing the guitar in a talented manner. Kryten emerges, "almost annoyed", from the garbage compactor as a perfect cube. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Cast : Jenny Agutter (Professor Mamet) Samantha Robson (Pete Tranter's Sister) Anita Dobson (Captain Tau) Richard Ridings (Crazed Astro) C. P. Grogan (Kochanski) Zoe Hilson (Temptress) Elizabeth Anson (Temptress) Phil Manzanera (Hands Only) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Andy De Emmony ¡Legion [#32] 1993025*o*Data/REDD/0602.iff Supplies are low. The water has been recycled so often, it's beginning to taste like Dutch lager. Then a malfunctioning guidance beam drags the Dwarfers to a deserted space station... - Classic Dwarf The Cat devours Lister's peanuts. Asked where he got them, Lister replies "Derelict a couple of months back. Found them in the dead captain's old donkey jacket. Don't look at me like that - you enjoyed that Mint Imperial didn't you?" Cat: "Where did you get that?" "He was sucking that when he got shot. I had to prise his jaws open with a car jack." The Dwarfers eat - or at least try to - with Mimosian anti-matter chopsticks. Legion provides Lister with everything he could ever want - a fridge full of lager and a spare pair of trainers in the ice box. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Cast : Nigel Williams (Legion) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Andy De Emmony ¡Gunmen Of The Apocalypse [#33] 1993025*o*Data/REDD/0603.iff Kryten contracts a deadly computer virus, and Rimmer and Co are forced to enter his electronic mindscape. They find themselves in a wild west town, facing a gunfight against metaphysical gunslingers. - Classic Dwarf Lister and the Cat pass themselves off as aliens by the time-honoured device of attaching eyes to their chins and hanging upside-down. The Cat - as the Riviera Kid - prevents sheriff Kryten from fleeing with a trick-shot resulting in the town's sign knocking him out cold. A drunken Kryten is informed that he's actually a robot and everything else is a fever - except for the crew, who do exist, but are actually on a spaceship in the future. "Hell, if that's gotta make sense, I don't want to be sober!" he wails. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Cast : Jennifer Calvert (Loretta) Denis Lill (Simulant Captain / Death) Liz Hickling (Simulant Lieutenant) Imogen Bain (Lola) Steve Devereaux (Jimmy) Robert Inch (War) Jeremy Peters (Pestilence) Dinny Powell (Famine) Stephen Marcus (Bear Strangler Mcgee) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Andy De Emmony ¡Emohawk - Polymorph II [#34] 1993025*o*Data/REDD/0604.iff The Dwarfers need replacement engine parts from the fearsome stomach-churningly ugly "Kinitawowi". But the GELF tribe are interested in only one trade: Lister must marry the chief's daughter. - Classic Dwarf The cat discovers a whole heck of a lot about what they're dealing with from a Gelf arrow. "Yep - this came from a bow all right." Lister decides to skip the honeymoon night with his GELF bride. "CHANGE OF PLAN!" he shrieks. "LEG IIIIIIIITTTT!!!!" Duane Dibbley lists his belongings: "Thermos, sandwiches, corn plasters, telephone money, dandruff brush, animal footprint chart and one triple thick condom. You never know..." Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer / Ace Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat / Dwayne Dibly) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Cast : Hugh Quarshie (Computer) Martin Sims (Gelf) Ainsley Harriott (Gelf Chief) Steven Wickham (Gelf Bride) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Andy De Emmony ¡Rimmerworld [#35] 1993025*o*Data/REDD/0605.iff Trapped aboard a disintegrating ship, Rimmer abandons his crewmates, taking the only remaining escape pod. As he accelerates towards a nearby wormhole, he discovers the pod has no steering controls. - Classic Dwarf Rimmer has the opportunity to save his crewmates, but instead chooses to leap heroically into the ship's only escape pod. Kryten suggests stopping Rimmer's pod with a blast from the laser cannon. "Form an orderly queue behind the gun-sight," the Cat beams. Lister comes up with a complex escape plan involving pulleys, disguises, armed combat and lots of derring-do. Kryten suggests they use the teleporter. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Cast : Liz Hickling (Rogue Simulant) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Andy De Emmony ¡Out Of Time [#36] 1993025*o*Data/REDD/0606.iff When an identical ship materialises alongside Starbug, the crew are alarmed to receive an SOS call from themselves fifteen years into the future. - Classic Dwarf The Cat asks Lister what his future self looks like: "I can't see properly - the light is bouncing off the top of your head! You're as bald a plucked chicken, man!" Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Written By : Rob Grant Doug Naylor Directed By : Andy De Emmony ¡Tikka To Ride [#37] 1997025*o*Data/REDD/0701.iff The crew are dead, slain by their future selves in the cliff-hanger that ended series six. But coming back from the dead is a piece of cake compared to the real dilemma confronting Lister - the curry supplies have been destroyed and he's three million light years from the nearest poppadom. Unable to face cold turkey vindaloo style, he ignores causality and goes back in time intending to order "500 vindaloos to go" but winds up in Dallas, in November 1963, where he accidentally pushes a gunman out of a fifth floor window. - Classic Dwarf Kryten loses his guilt... and takes up smoking. The Dwarfers arrive in Dallas, 1963 and somehow manage to pull a gunman out of a window while actually trying to save him. Rimmer exacts revenge on Lister by tricking him into marooning himself in Starbug's detachable rear section. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Cast : Michael J. Shannon (John F. Kennedy) Toby Aspin (Lee Harvey Oswald) Peter Gaitens (Fbi Agent) Robert Ashe (Cop) Written By : Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Stoke Me A Clipper [#38] 1997025*o*Data/REDD/0702.iff Rimmer's much more dashing alter ego, Ace Rimmer, arrives on Starbug terminally wounded. He asks Rimmer to take his place as the swashbuckling guardian of the Universe. Reluctantly Rimmer has to turn him down as he's too busy cataloguing his shoe collection. - Classic Dwarf Ace Rimmer saves Princess Bonjella from the Nazis but is mortally wounded by a shot in the chest, complaining, "This is my best top, dammit!" Ace is convinced Rimmer has potential, that you can't judge a book by its cover. "And you can't confuse Rimmer with a book," Lister insists. "For a start, a book's got a spine." Rimmer takes Ace's place and will be setting off into the big black... just as soon as he works out the ignition controls from the ejector seat. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer / Ace Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Cast : Ken Morley (Captain Voorhese) Sarah Alexander (Queen) John Thompson (Good Knight) Alison Senior (Princess Bonjella) Mark Carlisle (Lieutenant) Mark Lingwood (Gestapo Officer) Kai Maurer (Soldier) Stephen Grothgar (Soldier) Andy Gell (Soldier) Brian Cox (The King) Written By : Paul Alexander Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Ouroboros [#39] 1997025*o*Data/REDD/0703.iff When two realities converge, the Dwarfers undergo their most terrifying ordeal yet - they bump into a real, live, human woman who's attractive and nice. It's Lister's ex-girlfriend Kristine Kochanski. Kryten immediately goes into jealousy overload mode, convinced she'll steal Lister away from him, and starts plotting her immediate return to her own dimension. - Classic Dwarf Lister is shown a scanned picture of his attacker - a hairy Gelf. "Smeg," says Lister. "It's the missus!" Kryten is jealous of Kochanski's hold over Lister: "She's got all those in-and-out bits that you like..." Kryten answers a radio call from Kochanski, whom Lister has just shot in the leg. "It's an obscene phone call, sir. I think it's for you..." Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Chloe Annett (Kochanski) Cast : Gary Bleasdale (Frank) Juliet Griffiths (Barmaid) Adrienne Posta (Flight Announcer) Alexander John-Jules (Baby Lister) Written By : Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Duct Soup [#40] 1997025*o*Data/REDD/0704.iff When the generator and its back-up go down in the middle of the night, the crew have to crawl through the mile long labyrinth of service ducts to restart their engines. On their journey they discover a few surprising things about one another. Including what Lister once did on top of a crate of canned asparagus. - Classic Dwarf Kochanski is angered by the noisy pipes in her quarters - they squilookle when they should nureek. If they're going to keep her up all night, they could at least do it properly! Kochanski sobs that she's tried everything to fit in: "I even tried learning what off-side was..." Lister tells why he is claustrophobic - an event which involved cashier number 12, a crate of tinned asparagus and the Bootle amateur players' production of The Importance of Being Earnest. The Cat attempts to calm Lister's claustrophobia concerns: "Boy, is it cramped! I tell you, if I was dead, you could not swing me around in here!" Crew : Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Chloe Annett (Kochanski) Written By : Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Blue [#41] 1997025*o*Data/REDD/0705.iff Lister finds himself missing Rimmer - until Kryten takes him on "The Rimmer Experience", a virtual reality ride featuring highlights of the departed crewmember's much-loathed life. - Classic Dwarf Rimmer and Lister play the locker game, opening the dead crew's lockers to see what's inside. Lister gets cash and soft porn, Rimmer gets a face-full of fire. Rimmer returns from Ace duties - Lister's so pleased to see him that they hug, then kiss... and then Lister wakes up. A group of Rimmer munchkins burst into song: "He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer; without him life would be much grimmer..." Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Chloe Annett (Kochanski) Written By : Kim Fuller Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Beyond A Joke [#42] 1997025*o*Data/REDD/0706.iff Kochanski takes the crew into the Artificial Reality suite and transports them to Pride and Prejudice World hoping to educate them in the subtleties of this literary masterpiece. Dream on. - Classic Dwarf Kryten brings a tank into Pride and Prejudice Land. "Perhaps I didn't make myself clear. I said supper is ready!" Kryten literally blows his top when Lister insists on having brown ketchup with his lobster. Crew : Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Chloe Annett (Kochanski) Cast : Vicky Ogden (Mrs. Bennet) Alina Proctor (Jane Bennet) Catherine Harvey (Kitty Bennet) Sophia Thierens (Lydia Bennet) Rebecca Katz (Mary Bennet) Julia Lloyd (Elizabeth Bennet) Don Henderson (The Simulant) Written By : Robert Llewellyn Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Epideme [#43] 1997025*o*Data/REDD/0707.iff A strange, intelligent virus has impregnated Lister. He tries to set up a communication link with the disease to sweet-talk it into not killing him, but when this doesn't work, he realises that he'll have to submit to Kochanski's disarmingly simple cure. - Classic Dwarf Lister is woken by amorous hands in the middle of the night - not Kochanski, as he might have hoped, but the 3 million year old corpse of Caroline Carmen, desperate for a game of tongue hockey. Crew : Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Chloe Annett (Kochanski) Cast : Nicky Leatherbarrow (Caroline Carmen) Gary Martin (Epideme) Written By : Paul Alexander Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Nanarchy [#44] 1997025*o*Data/REDD/0708.iff The crew searches for nanobots in a laundry hamper to restore Lister to his pre-viral state. What they find is the answer to who stole their spaceship, Red Dwarf, and why. - Classic Dwarf Holly returns and sees Kryten's angular features for the first time in years: "What's happened to him? Was it a cheap razor? It's just not worth buying them from garages, is it." The nanobotic reconstruction of Lister's body is a little 'over-successful' as he looks down to discover the massive frame of a body-builder where his porky little body used to be. Crew : Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Chloe Annett (Kochanski) Norman Lovett (Holly) Written By : Paul Alexander James Hendrie Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Back In The Red - Part 1 [#45] 1999029*o*Data/REDD/0801.iff Not only have the nanobots recreated Red Dwarf, they've also populated the ship with its original crew. This is extremely good news for Rimmer. - Classic Dwarf Starbug crashes through a duct inside the massive Red Dwarf - and into the posterior of a rat. "I hope we don't get stopped by the cops," Holly dead-pans. "They don't like it when you're rat-arsed." Rimmer refutes Lister's claims of integrity: "People of honour generally don't take a Polaroid of your snoozing todger, draw a moustache, mouth and ears on it, and then pin it up on the notice-board under 'Missing Persons'." Kryten's psychiatrist is confused by the mechanoid's start-up date: "2340. Now that's in the future, isn't it?" Kryten: "Yes sir, I was created after you died..." Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Chloe Annett (Kochanski) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : Andy Taylor (Dr. Lucas McClaren) David Gillespie (Selby) Karl Glenn Stimpson (Thornton) Kika Mirylees (Dr. Karen Newton) Mac McDonald (Captain Hollister) Paul Bradley (Chen) Written By : Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Back In The Red - Part 2 [#46] 1999028*o*Data/REDD/0802.iff Rimmer is invited to dinner with the Captain and to make the evening go with a swing douses himself with the "Sexual Magnetism Virus" making himself irresistible to the female crew. - Classic Dwarf Rimmer delivers his extra-long, special Rimmer salute for Hollister - who pretty much has time to get a cup of coffee while he waits. The sexual magnetism virus takes its toll on Rimmer, who, after sleeping his way through four senior female officers, tries to regain control by injecting his groin with anaesthetic, leaving his legs to flail beneath him. Disguised as the Dibbley family, Kochanski, Lister and the Cat beat interrogation by giving their occupation - "Computer programmers." Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten / Data Doctor) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Chloe Annett (Kochanski) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : Andy Taylor (Dr. Lucas McClaren) Genevieve Swallow (Last Woman Officer) Geoffrey Beevers (Doctor) Jemma Churchill (Panel Woman Officer) Karl Glenn Stimpson (Thornton) Kika Mirylees (Dr. Karen Newton) Mac McDonald (Captain Hollister) Sue Kelvin (Second Woman Officer) Written By : Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Back In The Red - Part 3 [#47] 1999029*o*Data/REDD/0803.iff The Dwarfers face two years in the brig for crimes against the Space Corps. Realising their defence has more holes than Lister's underpants they escape to prove their innocence. - Classic Dwarf The Cat impresses the gorgeous air-traffic controller by doing a tap dance with the Blue Midget. Rimmer edits the crew's AR conversation as Lister gets mad: "I'm gonna cut off both his [CUT] with a blunt knife!" Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Chloe Annett (Kochanski) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : Graham McTavish (Ackerman) Jeillo Edwards (Ground Controller #2) Karl Glenn Stimpson (Thornton) Mac McDonald (Captain Hollister) Yasmin Bannerman (Ground Controller #1) Written By : Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Cassandra [#48] 1999029*o*Data/REDD/0804.iff Taking Holly's advice Lister joins the "Canaries" - a battle hardened convict army trained to go on suicide missions, and not, as he thought, the prison choir! - Classic Dwarf Rimmer's face falls as he is told that he's been signed up for the Canaries, too. Cassandra tells the crew that all the Canaries will be dead in one hour except for Rimmer - who'll be dead in 20 minutes. Rimmer suggests Kochanski's predicted future of them sleeping together might be caused by her being blind drunk. "That doesn't excuse my other four senses!" she exclaims. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Chloe Annett (Kochanski) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : Geraldine McEwan (Cassandra) Graham McTavish (Ackerman) Ian Soundy (Guard) Jake Wood (Kill Crazy) Joseph Crilly (Blood Drinker) Mac McDonald (Captain Hollister) Shend (Knot) Written By : Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Krytie TV [#49] 1999029*o*Data/REDD/0805.iff Kryten starts his own pirate TV station to entertain the prisoners. - Classic Dwarf Rimmer, concerned for his appeal, refuses to sanction secretly shooting the women showering. "All right, who are you?" Holly asks. "And what have you done with our Rimmer?" Lister attempts to tidy the quarters he's just sabotaged before Warden Ackerman returns to his room. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Chloe Annett (Kochanski) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : Clifford Barry (Guard) Graham McTavish (Ackerman) Jake Wood (Kill Crazy) Mark Caven (Man in Film) Sarah Wateridge (Woman in Film) Written By : Doug Naylor Paul Alexander Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Pete - Part 1 [#50] 1999028*o*Data/REDD/0806.iff When Rimmer and Lister are forced to take on the guards in a basketball game they sabotage the opposition's half-time juice with 'Boing' - the virility enhancement drug. - Classic Dwarf The prisoners play the warders at basketball - the latter heavily under the influence of virility-enhancement drug 'Boing.' Lister and Rimmer find the virus they're using eats more than just potato skins, and have to report, bald and naked, to the captain - who then starts losing his hair... The crew accidentally turn Pete the sparrow into Pete the Tyrannosaurus Rex - just another day with the Dwarfers... Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Chloe Annett (Kochanski) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : Andrew Alston (Mex) Graham McTavish (Ackerman) Holly Earl (Young Kochanski) Ian Masters (Birdman) Mac McDonald (Captain Hollister) Perri Michael (Young Cat) Ricky Grover (Baxter) Shend (Warden Knot) Written By : Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Pete - Part 2 [#51] 1999027*o*Data/REDD/0807.iff The Dwarfers discover birds are descended from dinosaurs when they de-evolve a sparrow into a T-Rex! - Classic Dwarf Lister and Rimmer receive the blows from a fight they fought half an hour before. Kryten becomes a real man as Kochanski discovers his out-of-control penis, Archie, running lose in their quarters. The Cat suffers an Alien-esque moment as Archie tries to wriggle out of his jacket. Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Chloe Annett (Kochanski) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : Ian Masters (Birdman) Jake Wood (Kill Crazy) Mac McDonald (Captain Hollister) Ricky Grover (Baxter) Written By : Doug Naylor Paul Alexander Directed By : Ed Bye ¡Only The Good... [#52] 1999030*o*Data/REDD/0808.iff Rimmer crosses into a mirror universe where he discovers another version of himself captaining the ship. - Classic Dwarf Rimmer squabbles with the vending machine, who threatens him with its immense knowledge: "I know your taste in confectionery, and I also know... I also know... Well, actually that is all I know..." Kryten displays just the right level of sensitivity towards Kochanski with his 'Have A Fantastic Period' banner. Ackerman proves Rimmer and Lister are drunk by asking: "Who fancies a kebab?" Crew : Chris Barrie (Rimmer) Craig Charles (Lister) Danny John-Jules (Cat) Robert Llewellyn (Kryten) Chloe Annett (Kochanski) Norman Lovett (Holly) Cast : David Verrey (Big Meat) Graham McTavish (Ackerman) Heidi Monsen (Talia) Mac McDonald (Captain Hollister) Ricky Grover (Baxter) Tony Slattery (Dispensing Machine) Written By : Doug Naylor Directed By : Ed Bye