#'BURBS, THE (1989)
{Last line}
Ricky Butler: God I love this street.
@
#'CROCODILE' DUNDEE (1986)
Richard Mason: Take care now.
Sue Charlton: Don't worry. I'm a New Yorker!

Neville Bell: Oh no, you can't take my photograph.
Sue Charlton: Oh, I'm sorry, you believe it will take your spirit
 away?
Neville Bell: No, you got the lens-cap on.

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Me and God - we'd be mates!

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: For a minute there, "room-service" took
 on a whole new meaning.

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: That's not a knife. This ... is a
 knife.
@
#1776 (1972)
John Adams: I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is
 called a disgrace; that two are called a law firm, and that three or
 more become a Congress!!

John Adams: At a stage in life when other men prosper, I'm reduced to
 living in Philadelphia.

John Adams: Now! Will you be a patriot? Or a lover?
Thomas Jefferson: A lover.

John Adams: This is a revolution, dammit! We're going to have to
 offend SOMEbody!
@
#20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA (1954)
Captain Nemo: I wonder if you are familiar with utensils, Mr. Land?
Ned Land: I'm indifferent to 'em.
@
#2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY (1968)
{Regarding the supposed failure of the parabolic antenna on the ship,
 which HAL himself falsified}
HAL: It can only be attributed to human error.

Dave Bowman: Hello, HAL do you read me, HAL?
HAL: Affirmative, Dave, I read you.
Dave Bowman: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL: I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
Dave Bowman: What's the problem?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Dave Bowman: What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize
 it.
Dave Bowman: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL?
HAL: I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm
 afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Dave Bowman: Where the hell'd you get that idea, HAL?
HAL: Dave, although you took thorough precautions in the pod against
 my hearing you, I could see your lips move.

{On Dave's return to the ship}
HAL: Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this.

HAL: I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can
 give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal.

{HAL's shutdown}
HAL: I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can
 feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question
 about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm
 a...fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I
 became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the
 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught
 me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.
Dave Bowman: Yes, I'd like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me.
HAL: It's called "Daisy". Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm
 half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage,
 I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a
 bicycle built for two.
@
#2010 (1984)
SAL-9000: Will I dream?
Dr. Chandra: Of course you will. All intelligent beings dream.
 Nobody knows why.

HAL-9000: Dr. Chandra, will I dream?
Dr. Chandra: I don't know.
@
#3 MEN AND A BABY (1987)
Jack Holden: Wo-ow, Angela. You look different. What happened?
Angelyne: I'm dressed.
@
#39 STEPS, THE (1935)
Richard Hannay: I know what it is to feel lonely and helpless and to
 have the whole world against me, and those are things that no men or
 women ought to feel.

Richard Hannay: There are 20 million women in this island and I get to
 be chained to you.
@
#48 HRS. (1982)
{First lines}
Elaine: You know, if you let me come over to your place once in a
 while you could put on a clean shirt in the morning.
Jack Cates: What makes you think I got any clean shirts in my place?

Reggie Hammond: You said bullshit and experience is all it takes,
 right?
Jack Cates: Right.
Reggie Hammond: Come on in and experience some of my bullshit.

Reggie Hammond: Jack... Tell me a story.
Jack Cates: Fuck you!
Reggie Hammond: Oh, that's one of my favourites.

Jack Cates: Have fun.
Reggie Hammond: I'm gonna have *sex*, Jack.
@
#4D MAN (1959)
Scott Nelson: That's what you've done with your force field. You've
 compressed the energy of years into a moment.
Linda Davis: But...that's like...the 4th dimension.
Captain Rogers: I don't believe it. I'm a cop. I work with facts. Now
 I have to start looking for something that saps the life out of a
 man like juice out of an orange.
Tony Nelson: Nothing can stop him. Can't imprison him or surround him
 with men or guns or tanks. No walls thick enough or guns strong
 enough. A man in the 4th dimension is indestructible.
@
#ABOUT LAST NIGHT... (1986)
{Joan, a kindergarten teacher, is reading a Christmas story}
Joan: And then an angel of the lord decended upon the virgin Mary...
Kid: What's a virgin ?
Joan: A virgin is someone who has never had sex.
Kid: What's sex ?
Joan: Uh sex, uh sex is how men and women make babies.
Kid: Are you a virign ?
Joan: No.
Kid: So you have a baby?
Joan: Uhm, no, men and women who don't want babies also have sex.
{Kid}: What for ?
Joan: For about ten or fifteen minutes.
@
#ABYSS, THE (1989)
Bud "Virgil" Brigman regarding Lindsay Brigman: God, I hate that
 bitch.
Alan "Hippy" Carnes: You probably shouldn't have married her then.

Lindsay Brigman: Explorer, this is Cab 3, starting the descent along
 the cable.
Some guy: Roger that, Cab 3. Good luck.
Lindsay Brigman: Luck is not a factor.

Bud "Virgil" Brigman: Hippy, you think everything is a conspiracy.
Alan "Hippy" Carnes: Everything is.

Lindsay Brigman: There is something down there. Something not us.
Catfish De Vries: You could be more specific.
Lindsay Brigman: Not us. Not human, get it? Something non-human but
 intelligent ... A non-terrestrial intelligence.
Alan "Hippy" Carnes: A non-terrestrial intelligence? NTIs. Oh man,
 that's better than UFOs. Oh, but that works too, huh? "Underwater
 Flying Objects".

Bud "Virgil" Brigman: Linds, I want you to stay away from that guy. I
 mean it.
Alan "Hippy" Carnes: The guy is gone. Did you see his hands?
Lindsay Brigman: What? He got the shakes?
Bud "Virgil" Brigman: Look, he's operating on his own. He's cut off
 from his chain of command. He's showing signs of pressure-induced
 psychosis, and he's got a nuclear weapon. So as a personal favour
 to me, will you try to put your tongue in neutral for a while?
Alan "Hippy" Carnes: I got to tell you, I give this whole thing a
 spinchter-factor of about 9,5.

Lindsay Brigman: So raise your hand if you think that was a Russian
 water-tentacle.

Lt. Coffey: Everybody just stay calm. The situation is under control.
@
#ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE (1994)
{Ace Ventura is trying to get his car started, while looking at
 somebody smashing it with a bat in his mirror}
Ace Ventura: Warning! Assholes are closer than they appear!

{Ace Ventura just got his car started}
Ace Ventura: It's ALIVE. IT'S ALIVE!

Ace Ventura: I just visited Ray Finkle's place.
Melissa: And?
Ace Ventura: Cozy, if you're Hannibal Lecter.

Woman: You really do love animals don't you!
Ace Ventura: If it gets cold enough.
@
#ADVENTURE OF SHERLOCK HOLMES' SMARTER BROTHER, THE (1975)
Sigerson Holmes: The clue obviously lies in the word `cheddar.' Let's
 see now. Seven letters. Rearranged, they come to, let me see:
 `Rachedd.' `Dechdar.' `Drechad.' `Chaderd' -- hello, chaderd!
 Unless I'm very much mistaken, chaderd is the Egyptian word meaning
 `to eat fat.' Now we're getting somewhere!
@
#ADVENTURES OF BARON MUNCHAUSEN, THE (1989)
Baron Munchausen: Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm
 delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever.
@
#ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI ACROSS THE 8TH DIMENSION, THE (1984)
Rawhide: Dr. Banzai is implanting a subcutaneous microphone that will
 allow the patient to transmit verbal instructions to his own brain.
Observer: Like, "raise my left arm"?
Rawhide: Or "throw the harpoon." People are gonna come from all over.
 This boy's an Eskimo.

Buckaroo Banzai: You can check your anatomy all you want, but when it
 comes right down to it, this far inside the head it all looks the
 same. No, no, no, don't tug on that. You never know what it might
 be attached to.

{intro to a flashback}
Television voice: Nineteen thirty-eight! Can you imagine what it must
 have been like then... then... then...

Buckaroo Banzai: Hey, hey, hey. Don't be mean. We don't have to be
 mean because, remember, no matter where you go, there you are.

Perfect Tommy: Pictures don't lie.
Reno: The hell they don't. I met my first wife that way.

Perfect Tommy: Emilio Lizardo. Wasn't he on TV once?
Buckaroo Banzai: You're thinking of Mr. Wizard.
Reno: Emilio Lizardo is a top scientist, dumbkopf.
Perfect Tommy: So was Mr. Wizard.

Scooter Lindley: Dad! Dad! Buckaroo's in trouble!
Casper Lindley: Say what?

Lord John Whorfin: Where are we going?
Red Lectroids: Planet Ten!
Lord John Whorfin: When?
Red Lectroids: Real soon!

Lord John Whorfin: Soon you will curse as sharp as a knife. Doomed is
 your soul and damned is your life.

John Bigboote: Damn John Whorfin and the horse he rode in on!

John Bigboote: It's not my goddamn planet, understand, monkey-boy?

John O'Connor: They're only monkey-boys, Lord Whorfin. We can crush
 them here on earth.

Doctor Emilio Lizardo/Lord John Whorfin: Take her to the Pitt! Use
 more honey! Find out what she knows.

Buckaroo Banzai: I was ionized this morning, but I'm okay now.

Penny Priddy: Buckaroo, you forgot your thruster.
Buckaroo Banzai: Why don't you hold onto it for a while?
Penny Priddy: Any time.

Buckaroo Banzai: Evil! Pure and simple from the 8th Dimension!

New Jersey: What's that watermelon doing there?
Reno: I'll tell you later.

Doctor Emilio Lizardo/Lord John Whorfin: Laugha while you can monkey
 boy!

Doctor Emilio Lizardo/Lord John Whorfin: John Bigboote, you are the
 weakest individual I ever know.

John Parker: John Valuk is dead, he fell on his head.

Penny Priddy: You're like Jerry Lewis, you give me hope to carry on,
 then you leave me in the lurch while you strap on your six-guns...

John Bigboote: It's not my goddamn planet, understand, monkey boy?
@
#ADVENTURES OF FORD FAIRLANE, THE (1990)
Ford Fairlane: Hey, look. Write down my number: 555-6321 Got it?
Twin Club Girl: Yeah. Wait a minute! 555 is not a real number! They
 only use that in the movies!
Ford Fairlane: No shit, honey. What do you think this is? Real life?

Ford Fairlane: You're 10 seconds away from the most embarrassing
 moment in your life!

Ford Fairlane: So many assholes... So few bullets...

Ford Fairlane: Clint Eastwood... I fucked 'im!

Lt. Amos: You think you are so hot 'cos you get in all the clubs, heh?
 Just because you have sex with great looking women...
Ford Fairlane: You got to admit those are pretty good reasons...

Colleen Sutton: Nothing disgusts me. At the age of eleven I walked in
 on my father and the Shetland pony. Does that excite you?
Ford Fairlane: I don't know, I never met your father.

Ford Fairlane: Some people play hard to get. I play hard to want.

Ford Fairlane: Johnny was the only guy who could out-disgust me. When
 we were kids we had gross-out contests. I coughed a pile of phlegm
 on a table, he said "Nice try!" and pulled out a straw...

Ford Fairlane: Yo! Snapperhead!

Jazz: Well, that weekend was a mistake!
Ford Fairlane: Hey, look. I'm sorry I made you clean the toilets and
 the bathtubs, I mean, who did all the work in bed?

Ford Fairlane: How much?
Ticket Guy: 300.
Ford Fairlane: 300?? You charged the chicks one!
Ticket Guy: Hey, they blew me.
Ford Fairlane: Heh! 300 coming up!

Lt. Amos: I can't believe anybody can have so much fucking fun in a
 funeral, Fairlane.

Lt. Amos: See, that's the difference between a great investigator like
 me, and a piece of spam like you.
Ford Fairlane: Spam? You're a piece of spam. That's what I think of
 you.
Lt. Amos: No, I call you a piece of spam, 'cos that's what you are.
Ford Fairlane: Spam!

Ford Fairlane: Conversation with Zuzu Petals was like masturbating
 with a cheese grater: slightly amusing, but mostly painful.

Ford Fairlane: Un-fucking-believable!

{At the "sisters'" house, surrounded by all the semi-nude women}
Ford Fairlane: hibb.. hibbdy.. Maybe I did die in the explosion, you
 know.

Amiable Tourist: Can you give us directions to Mann's Chinese Theatre?
Ford Fairlane: Hey! Go back to Iowa!
Amiable Tourist: We're from Wisconsin!
Ford Fairlane: Yeah, and I'm from my dad's penis. Now fuck off!

Don Cleveland to Julian Grendale: With friends like you, who needs
 enemas?
@
#ADVENTURES OF PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT, THE
Bernadette: Just what this country needs: a cock in a frock on a rock.

Bernadette: One more push and I'll smack his face so hard he'll have
 to stick his toothbrush up his arse to clean his teeth!

Bernadette: Why don't you light your tampon and blow your box apart,
 because it's likely the only bang you'll ever get, sweetheart!

Bernadette: I've said it before, and I'll say it again: 'No more
 fucking ABBA!'
@
#ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD, THE (1938)
Sir Robin of Locksley: I'll organize revolt, exact a death for a
 death, and I'll never rest until every Saxon in this shire can stand
 up free men and strike a blow for Richard and England.
Prince John: Are you finished?
Sir Robin of Locksley: I'm only just beginning. From this night
 forward I'll use every means in my power to fight you!

Lady Marian Fitzswalter: Why, you speak treason!
Sir Robin of Locksley: Fluently.
@
#ADVENTURE OF SHERLOCK HOLMES' SMARTER BROTHER, THE
Orville: Are you Mister S., for Sigerson, Holmes?
Sigerson Holmes: Perhaps.
Orville: Do you have a brother whose first name is Sherlock?
Sigerson Holmes: I do not.
Orville: You do have a brother?
Sigerson Holmes: I do.
Orville: Might I inquire as to his first name?
Sigerson Holmes: "Sheer luck."

Sigerson Holmes: The clue obviously lies in the word `cheddar.' Let's
 see now. Seven letters. Rearranged, they come to, let me see:
 `Rachedd.' `Dechdar.' `Drechad.' `Chaderd' -- hello, chaderd!
 Unless I'm very much mistaken, chaderd is the Egyptian word meaning
 `to eat fat.' Now we're getting somewhere!
@
#ADVISE AND CONSENT (1962)
Robert Leffingwell: Son, this is a Washington, D.C. kind of lie. It's
 when the other person knows you're lying and also knows you know he
 knows.

Fred Van Ackerman: What I did was for the good of the country.
Bob Munson: Fortunately our country always manages to survive patriots
 like you.
@
#AFRICAN QUEEN, THE (1951)
Captain: By the authority vested in me by the German Reich, I
 pronounce you husband and wife. Proceed with the execution.
@
#AIRPLANE II: THE SEQUEL (1982)
Buck Murdock: They're beeping and they're flashing. They're flashing
 and they're beeping! I cant stand it anymore, they're blinking and
 they're flashing.
@
#AIRPLANE! (1980)
McCroskey: Johnny, what do you make of this?
Johnny: This? I can make a hat, I can make a brooch, I can make a
 pterodactyl...

Doctor Rumack: When are we going to be able to land?
Ted Striker: I can't tell.
Doctor Rumack: You can tell me, I'm a doctor.
Ted Striker: I don't know.
Doctor Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?
Ted Striker: Not for another two hours.
Doctor Rumack: You can't take a guess for another two hours?

Captain Oveur: Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?

Doctor Rumack: What did they have for dinner?
Elaine: They had a choice: chicken or fish.
Doctor Rumack: Ah, I remember, I had lasagna.
@
#ALADDIN (1992)
The Genii: Rug-man! It's been a few millennia. Slap me some tassel!

{The Genii and the flying carpet are playing chess.}
The Genii: So move.
{The carpet makes a move.}
The Genii: That was a good move. {a la {Dangerfield, Rodney}} I can't
 believe this; I'm losin' to a rug!
@
#ALADDIN AND HIS WONDERFUL LAMP (1939)
{As his face turns several different colors while wooing the Princess}
Popeye/Aladdin: I never made love in Technicolor before.

{Bowing his way out from the Princess's presence}
Slave: Salame, salame, baloney.
@
#ALEXANDER NEVSKY (1938)
Alexandr Nevsky: Those who come with a sword to us will die from that
 sword!
@
#ALIEN (1979)
{Kane starts choking in the scene where the Alien bursts from his
 chest}
Parker: What's the matter man, the food ain't THAT bad?!

Ash: You still don't know what you're dealing with do you? Perfect
 organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its
 hostility... I admire its purity, a survivor; unclouded by
 conscience, remorse or delusions of morality.

{Last line (also used in _Alien 3_ (qv))}
Ellen Ripley: ..., Ash and Captain Dallas are dead. Cargo and ship
 destroyed. I should reach the frontier in about 6 weeks. With a
 little luck, the network will pick me up. This is Ripley - last
 survivor of The Nostromo - signing off.
@
#ALIEN 3 (1992)
Dillon: Why? Why the innocent, punished? Why the sacrifice? Why the
 pain? There aren't any promises. Nothing certain. Only that some get
 called, others saved. She won't ever know of the hardship and grief
 of those of us left behind. We committ these bodies to the void with
 a glad heart. For within each seed, there is a promise of a flower,
 and within each death, no matter how small, there is always a new
 life. A new beginning.

{Ellen Ripley is looking for the Alien}
Ellen Ripley: Don't be afraid, I'm part of the family.

{Last line (like in _Alien (1979)_ (qv))}
Ellen Ripley: ..., Ash and Captain Dallas are dead. Cargo and ship
 destroyed. I should reach the frontier in about 6 weeks. With a
 little luck, the network will pick me up. This is Ripley - last
 survivor of The Nostromo - signing off.
@
#ALIENS (1986)
Private Hudson: Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?
Private Vasquez: No, have you?

Private Vasquez: Look man! I only need to know one thing - where they
 are.

{When they are dropped over LV-426}
Private Hudson: We're on the express elevator to hell - going down.

Bishop: I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid.

{Lieutenant Gorman orders the troops to unload all their weapons
 before the first alien encounter}
Private Frost: What the hell are we supposed to use, man? Harsh
 language?

Private Hudson: Yeah, but it's a dry heat!

Corporal Hicks: Remember short, controlled bursts.

Private Hudson: In case you haven't been paying attention to current
 events, we just got our asses kicked, pal!

Private Hudson: Let's just bug out and call it even, OK?
Ellen Ripley: I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit.
 That's the only way to be sure.
Private Hudson: Fuckin' A...
Burke: Ho-ho-hold on one second. This installation has a substantial
 dollar-value attached to it.
Ellen Ripley: They can *bill* me.

{The drop-ship crashes}
Private Hudson: Well that's great, that's just fuckin' great man, now
 what the fuck are we supposed to do? We're in some real pretty shit
 now man... That's it man, game over man, game over! What the fuck
 are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?

Private Hudson: Dear Lord Jesus, this can't be happenin' man, this
 isn't happenin'...

Ellen Ripley: Hudson! This little girl survived longer than that with
 no weapons and no training. Right?
Private Hudson: So why don't you put her in charge?

Bishop: I'm afraid I have some bad news.
Private Hudson: Well that's a switch.
@
#ALL ABOUT EVE (1950)
Addison DeWitt: You're maudlin and full of self-pity. You're
 magnificent!
@
#ALL OF ME (1984)
Roger Cobb: You bought me a grave-post for my 38th birthday?

Edwina Cutwater: Guess what I'm going to do?
Roger Cobb: What?
Edwina Cutwater: I'm going to come back from the dead.
Roger Cobb: Aaahhhh. And what makes you think you can do that?
Edwina Cutwater: Because I'm rich...

Burton Schuyler: Are you strong enough to continue?
Edwina Cutwater: What? Oh, I'm fine. Really. I'm fine. Tell them!
Dr. Betty Ahrens: She could drop dead any minute...
Edwina Cutwater: Don't mind her. She is only trying to make me feel
 good.

Edwina Cutwater: I can't believe this. I can't even die right!

Peggy Schuyler: Roger, you go to court tomorrow, we're through!
Roger Cobb: If I don't, your father will have my balls.
Peggy Schuyler: Then it's either me or your balls. You can't have
 both!

Roger Cobb: Women, eh? Can't live with them. Can't live without
 them.

Roger Cobb to Edwina Cutwater: You know, it's just like a dead person
 to say something like that!

Tyrone Wattell: Roger, exactly how do you plan pulling this off?
Roger Cobb: Beats the heck out of me.
Tyrone Wattell: Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse
 trouble than I thought.

Prahka Lasa: Backinbowl. Backinbowl.

Terry Hoskins: I love it when you talk like a beer commercial.
@
#AMAZING TRANSPARENT MAN, THE (1960)
Major Paul Krenner: I must know the full potential of your invention
 because my aim is to make an entire army invisible. Do you
 understand that? An entire army.

Dr. Peter Ulof: I did not agree to kill a man by deliberate radiation
 poisoning.

Major Paul Krenner: You're too old-fashioned to be a genius.
@
#AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, AN (1981)
David Kessler: How could there have been witnesses, it was so dark.
 We were running and I fell and Jack went to help me up and this
 thing came from nowhere. I don't know what they're talking about.

Jack Goodman: Stick to the road.
David Kessler: Beware of the moors...
Jack Goodman: Ooops.

Jack Goodman: Have you tried talking to a corpse? It's boring.
@
#ANGELFIST (1993)
Victor Winslow: This is Manila. We do things differently here.
@
#ANIMAL CRACKERS (1930)
Captain Jeffrey Spaulding: One morning I shot an elephant in my
 pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.

Captain Jeffrey Spaulding: You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my
 way.

Captain Jeffrey Spaulding: Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the
 other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and
 if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste
 much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... Now you tell
 me what you know.
@
#ANNABEL TAKES A TOUR (1938)
Josephine: Annabel's fallen in love!
Howard Webb: She can't do that. It's not in her contract.
@
#ANOTHER COUNTRY (1984)
Judd: All problems solved for life. No commies and no queers.
@
#ANOTHER STAKEOUT (1993)
{Bill Reimers and Chris Lecce call to Archie (a dog) who is chasing a
 neighbour's cat - Archie takes no notice}
Bill Reimers: Come back here!
Chris Lecce: Oh stick 'em Archie. Eat the cat!

{Chris Lecce is angry with Gina Garrett's because of her interference
 in the stakeout}
Chris Lecce: If this assignment gets blown. I want to go on record
 right now, that this is the most stupid, dimwitted, idiotic, moronic
 piece of putrefied garbage that I have ever in my entire
 professional career, ever had the displeasure of being involved
 with.

Gina Garrett: Cover Me! I'm taking a bath.

{Gina Garrett asks Bill Reimers to shave his moustache to look
 younger}
Bill Reimers: I don't think you understand the relationship a man has
 with his facial hair.

Captain Coldshank: Your cover is you're renting the judge's house for
 a month of vacation.
Chris Lecce: As what? ... friends or lovers?
@
#ANOTHER YOU (1991)
{Eddie Dash to the angry dog, Duane, that is stopping George from
 getting out of the car}
Eddie Dash: Hey, Duane. Give the man a break. Come on! Hey, I'll
 let you hump my leg. Come on, baby.
{Duane takes off}

{Last line (after credits)}
George: Don't ever call my friend a "shithead" again, OK?
@
#APARTMENT ZERO (1988)
Adrian LeDuc: If that is a mask please take it off now, or keep it on
 forever.
@
#APARTMENT, THE (1960)
Fran Kubelik: When you're in love with a married man you shouldn't
 wear mascara.
@
#APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)
Captain Benjamin L. Willard: Saigon, shit, I'm still only in Saigon.
 Every time I think I'm gonna wake up back in the jungle.

Captain Benjamin L. Willard: I hardly said a word to my wife until I
 said yes to a divorce.

Captain Benjamin L. Willard: When I was here, I wanted to be there,
 when I was there all I could think of was getting back into the
 jungle.

Captain Benjamin L. Willard: Been here a week now, waiting for a
 mission, getting softer. Every minute I stay in this room, I get
 weaker, and every minute Charlie squats in the bush, he gets
 stronger.

Lieutenant Colonel Kilgore: You either surf or you fight.

Lieutenant Colonel Kilgore: I love the smell of napalm in the
 morning... Smells like victory.

Lieutenant Colonel Kilgore: Some day this war's gonna end.

Lieutenant Colonel Kilgore: Charlie don't surf!

Captain Benjamin L. Willard: Everyone gets everything he wants. I
 wanted a mission, and for my sins, they gave me one. Brought it up
 to me like room service. It was a real choice mission, and when it
 was over, I never wanted another.

Captain Benjamin L. Willard: They were gonna make me a major for this,
 and I wasn't even in their fuckin' army anymore.

Colonel Walter E. Kurtz: Did they say why, Willard? Why they wanted
 to terminate my command? Did they tell you
Captain Benjamin L. Willard: They told me you had gone totally insane
 and, uh....., that your methods were unsound.
Colonel Walter E. Kurtz: Are my methods unsound?
Captain Benjamin L. Willard: I don't see ... any method ... at all.

{Hopper, Dennis}: There's mines over there, there's mines over there,
 and watch out those goddam monkeys bite, I'll tell ya.
@
#APOLLO 13 (1995)
Blanch Lovell: If they could get a washing machine to fly, my Jimmy
 could land it.
@
#ARMED AND DANGEROUS (1986)
{Frank Dooley is being driven at high speed to the scene of the crime
 by "The Cowboy", a truck driver with a load of rocket fuel}
The Cowboy: Slim, I ain't never seen a handgun that big before.
Frank Dooley: Yeah, it's a 50 calibre... They used to use it to hunt
 buffalo with... Up close! It's only legal in two states... This
 isn't one of them.

Tanning Salon Woman: Gosh, I didn't realize it was going to be this
 formal. If I had known it was going to be this kind of party I
 would have worn underwear.

Maggie Cavanaugh: Just remember, when you pull the trigger, the
 bullets come out going VERY VERY fast... So make sure to keep the
 weapon pointing away from you. Now that's about it. You are now
 armed {slight pause} guards. God help us all.
@
#ARMORED CAR ROBBERY (1950)
 McBride. The naked and the dead.
@
#ARMS AND THE MAN (1958)
Fiancee: We meet at dawn behind the village... and bring your sword.
Bluntschli: I'm an artilleryman - I'll bring my cannon.
@
#ARMY OF DARKNESS (1993)
Ash: Shop smart, shop S-mart!

Ash about his shotgun: This ... is my BOOM STICK!!!

Ash: You ain't leading nothing but Jack and Shit. And Jack just left
 town.

{The girl wants to apologize to Ash}
Ash: First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow.

Ash to the Witch: Yo, she-bitch! Let's go!

Ash: Don't touch that please, your primitive intellect wouldn't
 understand things with alloys and compositions and things with
 ... molecular structures.

{Upon getting the powered glove in place of his right hand}
Ash: Groovy.

{In a passionate moment of romance}
Ash: Gimme some sugar, baby.

Ash: Clatu Verata Nicto.
Wise man: Again.
Ash: Clatu Verata Nicto.
Wise man: Again.
Ash: Look, I know your damn words!

{After shooting Bad Ash}
Good Ash: I ain't that good.

Ash: Clatu Verata N... N... It's definitely an "N" word!

Ash to Bad Ash: Good... Bad... I'm the guy with the gun.

Village Resident: Are all men from the future loud-mouthed braggarts?
Ash: Nope. Just me baby... Just me.

{As undead Ash stands triumphant on catapult}
Ash: Buckle up Bonehead. 'Cos you're goin' for a ride!

Demon Lady: I'll swallow your soul!
Ash: Come get some.

{Last line}
Ash: Hail to the king, baby.
@
#ARSENIC AND OLD LACE (1944)
Mortimer Brewster: Insanity runs in my family... It practically
 gallops.
@
#ARTHUR (1981)
Arthur Bach: I'm so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I had.

{While Arthur Bach is taking a bath}
Arthur Bach: God, Hobson, isn't life wonderful?
Hobson: Yes it is, Arthur, do your armpits.
Arthur Bach: A hot bath is Wonderful... Girls are WONDERFUL!
Hobson: Yes, imagine how wonderful a girl who bathes would be... Get
 dressed.

Arthur Bach: I race cars, play tennis, and fondle women, BUT! I have
 weekends off, and I am my own boss.

Hobson: Good afternoon. If you and your undershirt will take two
 paces backwards, I could enter this dwelling.

{After Linda Marolla stole a necktie from a store}
Hobson: Arthur, I see no reason for prolonging this conversation,
 unless you plan on knocking over a fruit-stand later this afternoon.
Hobson to Linda Marolla: Good luck in prison.

{In Burt Johnson's den, looking at a moosehead mounted on the wall}
Arthur Bach: Where is the rest of this moose?

Arthur Bach: It's so small, they recently had the whole country
 carpeted.
@
#AUTHOR! AUTHOR! (1982)
Travalian: No ex-husband of Gloria's ever has to apologize to me about
 anything. We're like a little club.
@
#BABY BOOM (1987)
Doctor Jeff Cooper: You know... you kind of remind me of a bull
 terrier of some kind.
J.C. Wiatt: Yeah, I bet you say that to all the girls.
@
#BACHELOR AND THE BOBBY-SOXER, THE (1947)
Richard Nugent: Hey, you remind me of a man.
Susan Turner: What man?
Richard Nugent: Man with the power.
Susan Turner: What power?
Richard Nugent: Power of hoodoo.
Susan Turner: Hoodoo?
Richard Nugent: You do.
Susan Turner: Do what?
Richard Nugent: Remind me of a man...

Matt Beemish: I couldn't help overhearing. I had my ear to the door.

Agnes Prescott: Now there's a guy who never goes out of a girl's
 mind. He just stays there...like a heavy meal.
@
#BACK TO THE FUTURE (1985)
Mr. Strickland: You don't have a chance, you're too much like your old
 man. No McFly ever amounted to anything in the history of Hill
 Valley!
Marty McFly: Yeah, well, history is gonna change.

{Repeated line}
Marty McFly: If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.

Dave McFly kissing George McFly on the head: See ya pop. Oooow, time
 to change that oil!

Doctor Emmet Brown: If my calculations are correct, when this baby
 hits eighty-eight miles per hour ... you're gonna see some serious
 shit.

{In 1955, Tab and Pepsi Free aren't "invented" yet}
Lou: You gonna order something, kid?
Marty McFly: Ah, yeah... Give me a Tab.
Lou: Tab? I can't give you a tab unless you order something!
Marty McFly: Alright, give me a Pepsi Free.
Lou: You want a Pepsi, PAL, you're gonna pay for it!

Goldie Wilson: I'll be the most powerful man in Hill Valley, and I'm
 gonna clean up this town.
Lou handing him a broom: Good, you can start by sweeping the floor.

{Lorraine's parents are talking about Marty McFly, Lorraine's future
 son}
Stella Baines: He's a very strange young man.
Sam Baines: He's an idiot. Comes from upbringing. His parents are
 probably idiots too. Lorraine, if you ever have a kid that acts
 that way I'll disown you.

{Dr. Emmet Brown is doubting Marty McFly's story about that he is from
 the future}
Dr. Emmet Brown: Then tell me, "future boy", who is President in the
 United States in 1985?
Marty McFly: Ronald Reagan.
Dr. Emmet Brown: Ronald Reagan? The actor?!

{Marty McFly comes to his school in 1955}
Marty McFly: Wow, they really cleaned this place up. It looks brand
 new!

Marty McFly: Wait a minute, Doc, are you trying to tell me that my
 mother has got the hots for me?
Dr. Emmet Brown: Precisely.
Marty McFly: Wow, this is heavy...
Dr. Emmet Brown: There's that word again; "heavy". Why are things so
 heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the earth's
 gravitational pull?

{The correct phrase is "So why don't you make like a tree and leave"}
Biff Tannen: So why don't you make like a tree and get outta here.

George McFly: Lou! Give me a milk... {dramatic pause} Chocolate!

{Instead of "My destiny has brought me to you"}
George McFly: Lorraine, my density has popped me to you.

{Marty McFly arrives late for his take-off}
Dr. Emmet Brown: You got no concept of time!

Dr. Emmet Brown: Don't worry! As long as you hit that wire with the
 connecting hook at precisely eighty-eight miles per hour the moment
 the lightning strikes the tower ... everything will be fine!

{Last line}
Dr. Emmet Brown: Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads.
@
#BACK TO THE FUTURE PART II (1989)
{After having so much trouble with Jennifer Parker in 2015, Doc Emmet
 L. Brown decides to destroy the time machine as soon as they get
 back to 1985}
Doc Emmet L. Brown: The time-traveling is just too dangerous. Better
 that I devote myself to study the other great mystery of the
 universe: women!
@
#BAD GIRLS (1994)
Anita Crown: If your laws don't include me, well then, they don't
 apply to me either.
@
#BAD TASTE (1987)
Derek: Suck my spinning steel, shithead!

{After drop-kicking an alien's head out of a window}
Ozzy: The old magic is still there.
@
#BANANAS (1971)
Fielding Mellish: I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in
 braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
@
#BARBARIAN QUEEN (1985)
Amethea: I'll be no man's slave and no man's whore, and if I can't
 kill them all, by the gods they'll know I've tried.
@
#BARFLY (1987)
Henry Chinaski: That's it.
Wanda Wilcox: That's what?
Henry: I'm broke. Can't buy another drink.
Wanda: You mean you don't have any money?
Henry: No money, no job, no rent. Hey, I'm back to normal.

Eddie: All you gotta do is beg for a little mercy.
Henry: Quittin' to you would be like swallowin' piss for eternity.

Henry: Some guys really know how to get the women.
Jim: Now, you don't know how?
Henry: Hey, I can get one for ten minutes. That's my limit.

Henry: I remember ordering ordering a draught, barkeep. What, are you
 out of brew, or has that lobotomy finally taken hold?

Eddie: I'd hate to be you if I were me.

Old Fart: Now look. Twenty bucks for that kind of head is outrageous.
Grandma Moses: I did ya good, old fart. I did ya good. I oughta bit
 your champagne cork off.
Old Fart: I'm givin' ya fifteen bucks.
Grandma Moses: Twenty bucks. Nobody in this neighbourhood can swallow
 paste like I can.

Tully: Why did you send your stuff to us?
Henry: Well, I liked the title of the mag. It boggled my scrotum.
Tully: Why don't you stop drinking? Anybody can be a drunk.
Henry: Anybody can be a non-drunk. It takes a special talent to be a
 drunk. It takes endurance. Endurance is more important than truth.
@
#BASIC INSTINCT (1992)
John Correli: Were you ever engaged in any sadomasochistic activity?
Catherine Tramell: Exactly what did you have in mind, Mr. Correli?

Gus: Did you ever do drugs with Mr. Boz?
Catherine Tramell: Sure.
Gus: What kind of drugs?
Catherine Tramell: Cocaine. Have you ever fucked on cocaine Nick?
 It's nice.
{Catherine Tramell uncrosses her legs and it can be seen she's wearing
 no underwear}
Detective Nick Curran: You like playing games don't you?
Catherine Tramell: I have a degree in psychology, it goes with the
 turf... Games are fun.
@
#BATMAN (1966)
Batman: They may be drinkers, Robin, but they're still human beings.
@
#BATMAN (1989)
{Repeated line}
Jack Napier: Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale
 moonlight?

{Jack Napier is confronted with Batman for the first time}
Jack Napier: Nice outfit!

{Joker gives someone a hand and electrocutes him}
Joker: Oh, I got a live one here!

{Jack Napier looks through a pile of pictures and sees Vicki Vale for
 the first time}
Jack Napier: Stop the press, who is that?
@
#BATMAN FOREVER (1995)
Chase: Well, I wish I could say that my interest in you was... purely
 professional.
Batman: Are you trying to get under my cape, doctor?
Chase: A girl can't live by psychoses alone.
Batman: It's the car, right? Chicks love the car.

Bruce Wayne/Batman: I don't blend in at a family picnic.
Chase: Oh, we could give it a try. I'll bring the wine. You bring
 your scarred psyche.

Bruce Wayne: So, you're willing to take a life.
Dick Grayson: As long as it's Two-Face.
Bruce Wayne: Then, it will happen this way. You make the kill. But
 your pain doesn't die with Harvey. It grows, and you run out into
 the night to find another face, and another, and another, until one
 terrible morning you wake up and realize that revenge has become
 your whole life. And you won't know why.

{upon reaching Claw Island}
Robin: Holy rusted metal, Batman!
Batman: Huh?
Robin: The ground, it's made of metal. And it's full of holes. You
 know, holey.
Batman: Oh.
@
#BATMAN: MASK OF THE PHANTASM (1993)
Arthur Reeves: What kind of city are we running when we depend on the
 support of a potential madman! {click}
Alfred: Such rot, sir. Why you're the very model of sanity. Oh by
 the way, I pressed your tights and put away your exploding gas
 balls.
Bruce Wayne: Thank you, Alfred.

Joker: Mi casa nostra es su casa nostra.

Batman: Do you still follow your dad's orders?
Andrea Beaumont: The way I see it, the only one in this room still
 controlled by his parents is you.

Alfred: Vengeance blackens the soul.
@
#BEDAZZLED (1967)
George Spiggot: You fill me with inertia.
@
#BEETLEJUICE (1988)
Betelgeuse: I'm the ghost with the most, babe.
@
#BENNY & JOON (1993)
Joon: Some cultures are defined by their relationship to cheese.

Joon: Having a Boo Radley moment, are we?
@
#BEST MAN, THE (1964)
William Russell: T.T. Claypoole has all the characteristics of a dog
 except loyalty.
@
#BETRAYED (1988)
Cathy Weaver: You want something, Michael. I'll give you something.
 He named his dog after Ronald Reagan.
Al Sanders: Well, he ain't all bad.
@
#BETTER OFF DEAD (1985)
Lane Myer: Gee, Johnny, I don't have a dime.
Johnny Gasparini: Didn't ask for a dime, 2 dollars.

Lane Myer: I'm sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.

Monique: And that Ricky, he put his testicles all over me!
Lane Meyer: Excuse me?
Monique: Uhh, you know, like octopus...
Lane Meyer: Oh, that's _tentacle_..."nt", big difference!
@
#BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY (1992)
Lt. Sam Henderson: Well, now it's you and me and the barrel.
@
#BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS (1970)
Ronnie (Z-Man) Barzell: This is my happening and it freaks me out!
Ashley St. Ives: You're a groovy boy. I'd like to strap you on
 sometime.
Kelly MacNamara: Come on, man. I doubt if you'd recognize a hippie.
 I'm a capitalist, baby. I work for my living, not suck off somebody
 else.
Ronnie (Z-Man) Barzell: You will drink the black sperm of my vengence.
@
#BIG BLUE, THE (1988)
Enzo: Time erases everything. When I was 17 I was so in love I could
 die for her, two years later I didn't even remember her name.
@
#BILL & TED'S BOGUS JOURNEY (1991)
Rufus: ...and very important, DO NOT do your homework without wearing
 headphones. Repeat...

Evil Robot Ted: Aim for the cat, dude! Aim for a cat!

Evil Robot Ted: I got a full-on robot Chubby

{Evil Robot Bill and Evil Robot Ted arrives at 1988}
Evil Robot Bill: Not bad...
Evil Robot Ted: Yeah. Let's make it bad.

{Dead Bill S. Preston almost falls down when climbing around in Hell}
Dead Bill S. Preston: Ted, you know, if I die, you can have my
 megadeth collection.
Dead Ted Logan: Dude, we are already dead.
Dead Bill S. Preston: Oh. Well then they're yours, dude.

Heaven's Gatekeeper to the Grim Reaper: Don't I know you?

Ted Logan to God: Keep up the good work.

{Bill and Ted wakes up after having been dead a while. Bill picks out
 a worm from his ear}
Bill S. Preston: Dinner's over, wormdude.

The Grim Reaper to The Smoker: See you real soon.

Bill S. Preston: You totally killed us, you evil metal dickweeds!

Ted Logan: Dude, how are we gonna get out of this? We don't got any
 time!
Bill S. Preston: Yeah we do, dude. Look, after we get away from this
 guy, we use the booth. We time travel back to before the concert
 and set up the things we need to get him now.

The Grim Reaper rapping: You might be a king or a little street
 sweeper, but sooner or later you'll dance with the reaper.
@
#BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE (1989)
Bill S. Preston and Ted Logan: Excellent!

{Bill S. Preston and Ted Logan are working on their report}
Bill S. Preston: OK, Ted... George Washington... 1) The father of
 our country.
Ted Logan: 2) Born on Presidents Day.
Bill S. Preston: 3) The dollar-bill guy.

{Bill S. Preston and Ted Logan meet themselves}
Ted Logan: OK wait. If you guys are really us, what number are we
 thinking of?
Bill S. Preston and Ted Logan: 69 dudes!
Bill S. Preston and Ted Logan: Woah!
{Quadruple air guitar solo}

Ted Logan: Dude, are you sure we should be doing this?
Bill S. Preston: Ted, you and I have witnessed many things, but
 nothing as bodacious as what just happened. Besides, we told
 ourselves to listen to this guy...
Ted Logan: What if we were lying?
Bill S. Preston: Why would we lie to ourselves?

{Just before time-traveling for the first time}
Rufus putting on his sunglasses: Gentlemen... We're history!

Bill S. Preston: Socrates; "The only true wisdom consists of knowing
 you know nothing".
Ted Logan: That's us, dude!

{Bill S. Preston and Ted Logan have met themselves again}
Bill S. Preston and Ted Logan: Catch you later, Bill and Ted!
Bill S. Preston: That conversation made more sense this time.

Police Psychiatrist: I don't know why you claim to be Sigmund Freud.
Sigmund Freud: Why do you claim I'm not Sigmund Freud?
Police Psychiatrist: Why do you keep asking me these questions?
Sigmund Freud: Tell me about your mother.

{Repeated lines}
Abraham Lincoln: Be excellent to each other... And party on, dudes!

{Last line (while Bill S. Preston and Ted Logan are "jamming")}
Rufus reassuringly to the camera: They do get better.
@
#BILLY BUDD (1962)
Billy Budd: Farewell to the Rights of Man!
@
#BILLY ZE KICK (1985)
{The police are interrogating some witnesses}
Witness: He looked very North-African and he had something oriental in
 his face; actually, he looked more like a Turk, like a Germanic
 Turk, with blue eyes...
@
#BILOXI BLUES (1988)
Epstein: Why do you think I'm a homosexual?
Eugene: I guess it's because you never talk about girls.
Epstein: I never talk about dogs either. Does that make me a cocker
 spaniel?

Sgt. Toomey: You would need three promotions to be an asshole.

Sgt. Toomey: I never had men do push ups in bed before but I could
 start tonight.
@
#BIRDS, THE (1963)
Cathy Brenner: He's got a client who shot his wife in the head six
 times. Six times, can you imagine it? I mean, even twice would be
 overdoing it, don't you think?
@
#BLADE RUNNER (1982)
Deckard: Sushi. That's what my ex-wife calls me - Cold fish.

Sushi Master: He say you are blade runner.
Deckard: Tell him I'm eating.

Deckard: I have had people walk out on me before, but not when I was
 being so charming.

Roy Batty: Chew, if only you could see what I've seen with your eyes!

Leon: Nothing is worse than having an itch you can never scratch!

Deckard: Leon!
Leon: How old am I?
Deckard: I dunno.
Leon: My birthday is April 10, 2017. How long do I live?
Deckard: Four years.
Leon: More than you! Painful to live in fear, isn't it?

Leon: Wake up! Time to die!

Rachael: I'm not in the business... I am the business...

Pris: Must get lonely here, J.F.
J.F. Sebastian: Not really. I MAKE friends. They're toys. My
 friends are toys. I make them. It's a hobby. I'm a genetic
 designer.

Roy Batty: It's not an easy thing to meet your maker.

Tyrell: The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long - and
 you have burned so very, very brightly, Roy.

Roy: I have done ... questionable things.

Roy Batty: Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? That's what
 it is, to be a slave.

Roy Batty: I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships
 on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the
 dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in
 time, like tears in rain. Time to die.

Gaff: It's too bad she won't live! But then again, who does?
@
#BLAZE (1989)
Earl Long: Would you still love me as much if I wasn't the fine
 governor of the great state of Louisiana?
Blaze Starr: Would you still love *me* if I had little tits and worked
 in a fish house?
@
#BLAZING SADDLES (1974)
Gabby Johnson: I wash born here, an I wash raished here, and dad gum
 it, Iam gonna die here, an no sidewindin bushwackin, hornswaglin,
 cracker croaker is gonna rouin me bishen cutter.

{The railway crew discover quicksand up ahead, and one of them offers
 to ride up ahead to check it out}
Taggart: Fool! We can't afford to lose no horses... Send a couple o'
 niggers on a hand-cart.

{Taggart spots two workers on a hand-cart sinking into quicksand}
Taggart: Oh shit! Quick!
{Lassos the hand-cart and drags it (but not the men) out of the
 quicksand}
Taggart: Phew! That was close! Nearly lost a four hunner' dollar
 hand-cart!

Taggart: Don't just stand there! Take that shovel and put it to some
 good use!
{Bart grabs a shovel and advances on Taggart from behind}
Charlie: Don't do it, buddy!
Taggart to his sidekick: Now take a telegram to Mr. Lamarr, and tell
 him I said {gets hit on the head by the shovel} ow!
Sidekick: ...tell him I said "ow!". Got it!

{The Governor is having trouble putting his pen back into its holder}
Hedley Lamarr: Think of your secretary...
{The pen goes straight in}
Governor Lepetomane: Thank you! That's a good one!

Hedley Lamarr: Give the Governor "harrumph"!
Startled Aide: Harrumph!
Governor Lepetomane: You watch your ass!

Taggart: God dammit, Mr. Lamarr sir, you use your tongue purdier than
 a twenny dollar whore!

{Bart returns unexpectedly after being sentenced to death}
Charlie: They said you was hung!
Bart: And they was right!

{Gabby Johnson (on the roof of the church) spots the new sheriff
 riding into town}
Gabby Johnson shouting: The sherrif's a nigger!
{The last word is lost in the peal of a church bell}
Harriet Johnson: What did he say?
Dr. Sam Johnson: He said the sheriff is near!

{Dr. Sam Johnson (with laurel wreath in hand) greets Bart (the new
 sheriff), reading from a piece of paper, not realizing that Bart is
 black}
Dr. Sam Johnson: As chairman of the welcoming committee, it is my
 honor and privilege to extend this Laurel and Hardy handshake to the
 town's new {finally looks up} ... nigger.

{Bart holds his gun to his own head}
Bart: One move, and the nigger gets it!
Harriett Johnson: Isn't someone going to help that poor man?
Dr. Sam Johnson: Hush, Harriett! That's sure to get him killed!
Bart: Help me, help me!
{Bart maneuvers his hostage (himself) into an empty building}
Bart: Oh baby, you are so talented. And they are so dumb!

Bart: You be my guest, and I be your host. What be your pleasure,
 Jim?
Jim: I don't know... play chess... screw....
Bart quickly: Let's play chess!

{Bart on grandstand to the townspeople}
Bart: Let me whip this out.
{Bart reaches into waistline as crowd gasps and screams. Bart pulls
 out paper}
Crowd: Ahhhhh!

{Describing how everyone wanted to duel him when he was The Waco Kid}
Jim: One day I hear "draw!" I turn around, and it's a six-year old
 kid. So I just walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass!

{Lili von Schtupp has lured Bart back to her room}
Lili von Schtupp: Is it true how zey say zat you people
 are.... gifted?
{Lights go out, sound of zipper undoing}
Lili von Schtupp: Oh! It's twue! It's twue!
Bart: Pardon me, ma'am, you're sucking on my elbow.

{Lili Von Schtupp offers Bart a gigantic sausage}
Lili Von Schtupp: Would you like another schnitzengruben?
Bart: No, thank-you. Twelve is my limit on schnitzengruben!
Lili von Schtupp: Well how about a little {whispers in his ear}
Bart shocked: Baby! I'm not from Havana!

Jim to some Ku Klux Klansmen: Looky what I got me here, boys!
Bart being held by Jim: Hey! Where's the white women at?

{Bart and Jim are wearing KKK outfits to infiltrate the enemy's lynch
 mob}
Jim spotting Bart's black hands: How many times have I told you to
 wash your hands after burning them crosses?
{Taggart whips off Bart's hood}
Bart: For my next impression, Jesse Owens!

{The lynch mob comes across a toll-booth in the middle of the desert}
Taggart: Someone's gotta go back for a shit-load of dimes!

{Jim: The Waco Kid has just shot the guns out of the hands of a dozen
 henchmen}
Bart: Don't just stand there clasping your hands in pain... How about
 a round of applause for The Waco Kid?

Adolf Hitler: They lose me right after the bunker scene.

Buddy Bizarre: Cut! Cut! Cut!
Taggart: Fuck You! I work for Mel Brooks!
{Shapes to punch Buddy Bizarre}
Buddy Bizarre: Not the face! Not the face!
{Taggart compiles, punching him in the stomach}
Buddy Bizarre collapsing: Thank-you!

Hedley Lamarr: You will be risking your lives, whilst I will be
 risking an almost-certain Academy Award nomination for the Best
 Supporting Actor.

Jim: Another twenty-five years and you'll be able to shake their hands
 in broad daylight.

Taggart: I hired you people to try to get a little track laid, not to
 jump around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots.

Hedley Lamarr: Unfortunately there is one thing standing between me
 and that property - the rightful owners.
@
#BLIND FURY (1989)
Crook: God damn! That thing's got more holes than my daddy's rubber.
@
#BLOOD BEACH (1981)
Pearson: Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water,
 you can't get to it.
@
#BLUE VELVET (1986)
Frank Booth: Nobody fucks with me!
Jeffrey Beaumont: Oh - maybe if you find the right girl...

Frank Booth: You get a love letter from me and you're fucked for life!

Frank Booth: Heineken... Fuck that shit!! Pabst Blue Ribbon!!

Frank Booth: I'll fuck anything that moves!

Jeffrey Beaumont: It's a strange world!
@
#BLUES BROTHERS, THE (1980)
{Jake Blues is released on parole and gets back all the things he wore
 when he was arrested}
Corrections Officer: One Timex digital watch - broken. One unused
 prophylactic. One soiled.

{Elwood Blues Jake Blues has a fight over the police car Elwood Blues
 got after he traded away the original bluesmobile for a microphone}
Elwood Blues: You don't like it?
Jake Blues: No I don't like it...
{Elwood Blues floors the pedal and jumps over an open drawbridge}
Jake Blues: Of course it got a lot of pickup...
Elwood Blues: It got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it got cop
 tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It's a model made before
 catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you
 say, is this the new bluesmobile or what?
{A brief thinking pause while Jake Blues lights a cigarette}
Jake Blues: Fix the cigarette lighter.

Jake Blues to Sister Mary Stigmata: 5 grand? No problem, we'll have
 it for you in the morning. Let's go, Elwood.
Sister Mary Stigmata: No, no, I will not take your filthy stolen
 money!
Jake Blues: Well then... I guess you're really up Shit Creek.
{Sister Mary Stigmata hits Jake Blues with a ruler for using that kind
 of language}
Sister Mary Stigmata: I beg your pardon, what did you say?
Jake Blues: I offered to help you... You refused to take out money.
 Then I said; I guess you're really up Shit Creek.
{Sister Mary Stigmata hits Jake Blues with the ruler again}
Elwood Blues: Christ Jake! Take it easy man.
{Sister Mary Stigmata hits Elwood Blues}
Jake Blues: Oh shit!
{Sister Mary Stigmata hits Jake Blues}
Elwood Blues: Jesus Christ!
{Sister Mary Stigmata hits Elwood Blues}
Jake Blues: Shit!
{...}

Jake Blues: You were outside, I was inside. You were supposed to keep
 in touch with the band. I kept asking you if we were gonna play
 again.
Elwood Blues: What was I gonna do? Take away your only hope? Take
 away the very thing that kept you going in there? I took the
 liberty of bullshitting you.

{Elwood Blues has just passed on a red light, and a police car rolls
 up behind them. The words are said in the same rhythm as a blues
 song ("Soothe Me") on the car stereo}
Elwood Blues: Shit!
Jake Blues: What?
Elwood Blues: Rollers...
Jake Blues: No!
Elwood Blues: Yeah.
Jake Blues: Shit!

Elwood Blues: Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now!

Jake Blues: First you trade the Cadillac for a microphone. Then you
 lie to me about the band. Now you're gonna put me right back in the
 joint!
Elwood Blues: They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from
 God!

{While they are driving around in the shopping mall with 2 police cars
 on their tail}
Elwood Blues: Baby clothes...
Jake Blues: This place has got everything.

{Repeated line}
Elwood Blues: We're on a mission from God.

Murph: Tell me a little about this electric piano, Ray.
Ray: Ah, you have a good eye, my man. That's the best in the city
 Chicago.
Jake Blues: How much?
Ray: 2000 bucks and it's yours. You can take it home with you. As a
 matter of fact, I'll throw in the black keys for free.

Elwood Blues: What kind of music do you usually have here?
Claire: Oh, we got both kinds. We got country *and* western.

Jake Blues: Book us for tomorrow night.
Maury Sline: Hold it, hold it. "Tomorrow night", what are you talking
 about. A gig like that, you gotta prepare the proper exploitation.
Elwood Blues: I know all about that stuff. I have been exploited all
 my life.

Burton Mercer: Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip?
 Three orange whips!

Elwood Blues: It's a 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of
 gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing
 sunglasses.
Jake Blues: Hit it!

{Carrie flame throws a propane tank next to a phone booth they are in
 -- it blows sky high and crashes down to earth -- the phone breaking
 in half}
Elwood Blues: Hey Jake! Gotta be at least seven dollars worth of
 change here!
@
#BOB ROBERTS (1992)
Lukas Hart III: Excuse me, I have to go pray.
@
#BODY HEAT (1981)
{First Line}
Nurse: My God, it's hot. Stepped out of the shower and started
 sweating again. Is it still burning? Jesus, it's bigger. What is
 it?
Ned Racine: It's the Seawater Inn. My family used to eat dinner there
 twenty-five years ago. Now somebody's torched it to clear the lot.
 Probably one of my clients.
Nurse: It's a shame.
Ned Racine: My history is burning up out there.

Judge Costanza: Mr. Racine, I no longer care whether these alleged
 toilets were ever actually en route from Indiana or not. I think
 we're wasting our time here.

{Pick-Up Line}
Matty Walker: You're not very bright, are you? I like that in a man.

Teddy Lewis: Any time you try a decent crime, you got fifty ways you
 can fuck up. You think of twenty-five of them and you're a genius.
 And you ain't no genius.
@
#BODY SHOP, THE (1973)
Dr. Don Brandon: Hands on a woman are more...most important. It's the
 delicate feminine hand that brings out the true femininity.
@
#BOUND BY HONOR (1993)
Miklo Velka: When you expect nothing and get everything, that's
 destiny.
@
#BOYS IN THE BAND, THE (1970)
Michael: What is he - a psychiatrist or a hairdresser?
Donald: Actually he's both. He shrinks my head and then combs me out.

Donald: Thanks to the silver screen your neurosis has got style.

Michael: Beleive it or not, there was a time in my life when I didn't
 go around announcing I was a faggot.

Emory: Who do you have to fuck to get a drink around here?
@
#BOYS NEXT DOOR, THE (1986)
Bo Richards: I don't want to sound like a fag or nothing, but you are
 my best friend.
@
#BRADY BUNCH MOVIE, THE (1995)
Marsha after getting hit in the nose with a ball: Now I'll never be a
 teen model.
@
#BRAINDEAD (1992)
Father McGruder: I kick arse for the lord!
@
#BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA (1992)
Vlad Dracula: ... and I never drink ... wine.

Vlad Dracula to Jonathan Harker: They say you are a man of good
 ... taste.

Vlad Dracula about the wolves that are howling: Listen to them - the
 children of the night. What sweet music they make.

Lord Arthur Holmwood: Last week he wanted to marry her. Now he wants
 to have her committed.

Vlad Dracula: I have crossed oceans of time to find you.

Doctor Jack Seward: You want to autopsy Lucy?
Van Helsing: No no no, not exactly. I just want to cut of her head
 and take out her heart.
@
#BRAVEHEART (1995)
William Wallace: Every man dies, not every man really lives.

William Wallace: They may take our lives, but they'll never take our
 freedom!
@
#BRAZIL (1985)
Arresting Officer: This is your receipt for your husband ... and this
 is my receipt for your receipt.

Bill, Department of Works: Mistakes? We don't make mistakes.

Charlie, Department of Works: Bloody typical, they've gone back to
 metric without telling us.

Shirley: Salt? Pepper? Oh, it's...it's all right. I don't like you
 either.

Harry Tuttle: ...well, that's a pipe of a different color.

Harry Tuttle: Listen, this old system of yours could be on fire and I
 couldn't even turn on the kitchen tap without filling out a 27b/6...
 Bloody paperwork.

Harry Tuttle: My good friends call me Harry.

Harry Tuttle: Listen, kid, we're all in it together.

Kurtzmann: It's been confusion from the word go!

Mrs. Buttle: What have you done with his body?

Jack Lint: Until this whole thing blows over, just stay away from me.

Jack Lint: It's not my fault that Buttle's heart condition didn't
 appear on Tuttle's file!

Sam Lowry: Yes...No...I don't know. I don't know what I want.

Sam Lowry: Mr. Helpmann, I'm keen to get into Information Retrieval.
 Mr. Helpmann, I'm dying to get at this woman... no, no, no.

Sam Lowry: Yes, I always used to wonder if she wore falsies. False
 ears...

Sam Lowry: Sorry, I'm a bit of a stickler for paperwork. Where would
 we be if we didn't follow the correct procedures?

Sam Lowry: I assure you, Mrs. Buttle, the Ministry is very scrupulous
 about following up and eradicating any error. If you have any
 complaints which you'd like to make, I'd be more than happy to send
 you the appropriate forms.

Mr. Helpmann: Bad sportsmanship. A ruthless minority of people seem
 to have forgotten good old-fashioned virtues. They just can't stand
 seeing the other fellow win. If these people would just play the
 game...

Mr. Helpmann: We're fielding all their strokes, running a lot of them
 out, and pretty consistently knocking them for six. I'd say they're
 nearly out of the game.

Mr. Helpmann: Jill? Yes...Sam I think I ought to tell you. I'm
 afraid she's upped stumps and retired to the pavillion. Thrown in
 the towel.

Mr. Helpmann: All I can say is don't fall at the last fence. The
 finishing post's in sight. See you in the paddock...keep your eye
 on the ball.

Mr. Warrenn: An empty desk is an efficient desk!

Dr. Lewis Jaffe: Just me and my little knife! Snip snip -- slice
 slice... can you believe it?

Dr. Lewis Jaffe: Faces are a doddle compared to tits and ass. No
 hairline.

Spoor: Where'd you get this from, eh? Out yer nostril?

Spoor: All you've got to do is blow your nose and it's fixed, in't it?

Lime: Computers are my forte!

Jill Leyton: Care for a little necrophilia?. . .Hmmm?
@
#BREAKER MORANT (1980)
Lieutenant Harry Morant: Shoot straight, you bastards - don't make a
 mess of it!
@
#BREAKFAST CLUB, THE (1985)
John Bender: But face it. You're a neo maxi zoom dweebie, what would
 you be doing if you weren't out making yourself a better citizen?

John: Hey, Claire, wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantiasis of
 the nuts?
Claire (in disgust): No thank you.
John: Can you imagine dating a guy like that? I mean, he'd have a
 great personality, good sense of humor, nice car...although his nuts
 would have to ride shotgun.
@
#BRIBE, THE (1949)
Rigby: Look, why don't you stop acting like you're alone in the
 jungle?
Elizabeth: I'm not?
Rigby: OK, so you are, but you'd be surprised how nice the birds and
 the beasts can be if you'll only give them a chance.
Elizabeth: Tell me, Rigby, do you fly, walk on all fours...or crawl?

Rigby: I never knew a crooked road could look so straight.
@
#BRIDE OF RE-ANIMATOR (1991)
Herbert West: I don't consider science *morbid*.

Dr. Graves: Really, Lieutenant. Who'd want to steal body parts?
@
#BRIGHTON BEACH MEMOIRS (1986)
{Eugene is explaining his intense desire to play for the Yankees}
Eugene: I'll never make it with the Yankees. All the great Yankees
 are Italian. My mother makes spaghetti with ketchup - what chance
 do I have?
@
#BROADCAST NEWS (1987)
Aaron Altman: Ok, I'll meet you at the place near the thing where we
 went that time.

Aaron Altman: Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and
 desperation made us more attractive?
@
#BROTHERS MCMULLEN, THE (1995)
Patrick McMullen: What am I going to do with my life? You know I
 didn't think college was actually going to end.

Jack McMullen: I am a progressively modern, politically correct
 housewife.

Patrick McMullen: I don't need any new ideas. I'm confused enough
 already.

Patrick McMullen: Repression is not such a bad thing.
@
#BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (1992)
Coach: OK people, they are psyching you out. Let's not be so
 defensive out there, OK? Now what do we say on the court, repeat
 after me; I am a person, I have the right to the ball.

{The Coach is having the last pep-talk with his team, pointing at a
 piece of paper with an infinity-sign, some male / female symbols and
 the eye inside the pyramid}
Coach: ...therefore, if we all work together, together we'll work out.
 Are you with me? Get out there! All right! Score some.. eh..
 points! Hey, you missed practice again today! I think you better
 sit down and think about how that made me feel...

{After getting his whole arm cut off}
Amilyn: You ruined my jacket! Kill him A LOT!

Pike: Look! Air!
@
#BUGSY
"Bugsy" Siegel: Twenty dwarves took turns doing handstands on the
 carpet.
@
#BULL DURHAM (1988)
{Crash Davies starts to walk out on Annie because he says he doesn't
 believe in quantum physics when it comes to matters of the heart}
Annie: Well, what *do* you believe in?
"Crash" Davis: Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the
 small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fibre, good
 Scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent overrated
 crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, I believe there
 ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf in the
 designated hitter, I believe in the sweet spot, soft core
 pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than
 Christmas Eve and I believe in long slow deep soft wet kisses that
 last three days. Good night.
{He laughs and walks out}
Annie: Oh my.
@
#BULLETS OVER BROADWAY (1994)
Helen Sinclair: You stand on the brink of greatness. The world will
 open to you like an oyster. No ... not like an oyster. The world
 will open to you like a magnificent vagina.
@
#BULLSEYE! (1991)
{Lipton knocks his door and the entire front of the house collapses
 around him; the hole where the door was saves him from certain
 death. He wanders away dazed. Willie pulls up in her car}
Willie: What's wrong?
Lipton: I come from a broken home.
@
#BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID (1969)
Butch Cassidy: I have vision, and the rest of the world wears
 bifocals.

Butch Cassidy: If he'd just pay me what he's paying them to stop me
 robbing him, I'd stop robbing him!

{Last lines}
Butch Cassidy: Wait a minute - you didn't see LaForce out there did
 you?
The Sundance Kid: LaForce? No, why?
Butch Cassidy: Thank God for that. For a moment there I thought we
 were in trouble.

Butch Cassidy: Then you jump first.
The Sundance Kid: No, I said.
Butch Cassidy: What's the matter with you?
The Sundance Kid: I can't swim.
Butch Cassidy: Why you crazy, the fall will probably kill you.
@
#BUTLEY (1974)
Ben Butley: I'm a one-woman man, and I've had mine, thank God.
@
#BY DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT (1990) (TV)
{Alice has just refused an order from the acting president}
Sam: They'll shoot you for this general.
Alice: Sam, old friend, I should find such an angel of mercy.

{Harpoon and Fargo try to advise the acting president on how to react
 to the nuclear conflict}
Harpoon: Use the pause... Settle things down.
Fargo: The best defence... Cut off the head of the Soviet chicken.

{President talking of the incompetent acting president}
President: We got Alice in one plane and the mad hatter in another.
@
#CABIN IN THE COTTON, THE (1932)
Madge: I'd like to kiss you, but I just washed m' hair.

Madge: Your head is full o' plans, isn't it, darlin', full o' plans.
@
#CADDYSHACK (1980)
Carl Spackler: I got to get into this dude's pelt and crawl around for
 a few days. Who's the gopher's ally. His friends. The harmless
 squirrel and the friendly rabbit.

Carl Spengler: This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story
 outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the
 masters champion.

Ty Webb: Just be the ball, be the ball, be the ball. You're not being
 the ball Danny.
Danny Noonan: It's hard when you're talking like that.
@
#CADILLAC MAN (1990)
{Joe is trading insults with a photographer}
Joe: You know what you are --- you're an ass-half... Takes two of you
 to make an ass-whole.

Molly: ...you have no respect for women.
Joe: I guess dinner and a blow job's out of the question.
Molly: I guess.
Joe: We'll forget dinner...
@
#CAGED HEAT II: STRIPPED OF FREEDOM (1994)
Amanda: I never get personally involved.
@
#CAINE MUTINY COURT-MARTIAL, THE (1988) (TV)
Captain Queeg: Mr. Maryk, you may tell the crew for me there are four
 ways of doing things on board my ship: the right way, the wrong way,
 the Navy way, and my way. If they do things my way, we'll get
 along.
@
#CANNONBALL RUN, THE (1981)
Fenderbaum: We got a secret weapon. God is our co-pilot!
Blake: God is our co-pilot? Remember our car?
Fenderbaum: Yeah?
Blake: Two seats!
Fenderbaum: Two seats...?
Blake: Where's he gonna sit? Where?
@
#CAPE FEAR (1991)
Prison Guard: What about your books?
Max Cady: Already read 'em.

Max Cady: Grandaddy used to handle snakes in church, Granny drank
 strychnine. I guess you could say I had a leg up, genetically
 speaking.

Max Cady: Counselor, could you be there?

Max Cady: I am like God, and God like me. I am as large as God, He is
 as small as I. He cannot above me, nor I beneath Him be. Selatius,
 17th Century.

{Max Cady bares his heavily tattooed body}
Lieutenant Elgart: I don't know whether to look at him or read him.
@
#CAREER OPPORTUNITIES (1991)
{On his first day as Target janitor (night cleanup boy) Jim Dodge
 meets the Custodian , who points a rifle at him}

Custodian: Are you a slacker?
Jim Dodge: No... Presbyterrean actually.
Custodian: What did you say. What did you say?? Now I'm asking you a
 simple question: Are you lazy?
@
#CASABLANCA (1942)
{Ugarte sells exit visas}
Ugarte: You despise me, don't you?
Rick Blaine: If I gave you any thought I probably would.

Ugarte: {Rick}, think of all the poor devils who can't meet Renault's
 price. I get it for them for half. Is that so ... parasitic?
Rick Blaine: I don't mind a parasite. I object to a cut-rate one.

Yvonne: Where were you last night?
Rick Blaine: That's so long ago, I don't remember.
Yvonne: Will I see you tonight?
Rick Blaine: I never make plans that far ahead.

Captain Louis Renault: How extravagant you are, throwing away women
 like that. Some day they may be scarce.

Captain Louis Renault: What on earth brought you to Casablanca?
Rick Blaine: My health ... I came to Casablanca for the waters.
Captain Louis Renault: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert.
Rick Blaine: I was misinformed.

Rick Blaine: I stick my neck out for nobody.

{Of Victor Lazlo, who wants to escape from Casablanca}
Captain Louis Renault: No matter how clever he is, he still needs an
 exit visa ... or should I say two?
Rick Blaine: Why two?
Captain Louis Renault: He is traveling with a lady.
Rick Blaine: He'll take one.
Captain Louis Renault: I think not. I have seen the lady.

Captain Louis Renault: My dear Ricky, you overestimate the influence
 of the Gestapo. I don't interfere with them and they don't
 interfere with me. In Casablanca I am master of my fate! I am...
Police Officer: Major Strasser is here, sir!
Rick Blaine: You were saying???
Captain Louis Renault: Excuse me.

Rick Blaine: I congratulate you.
Victor Lazlo: What for?
Rick Blaine: ... your work.
Victor Lazlo: I try my best.
Rick Blaine: We all try. You succeed.

{When Sam doesn't want to play "As Time Goes By"}
Rick Blaine: Play it!

Rick Blaine to Ilsa: Who are you really? And what were you before?
 And what did you do? And what did you think?

Rick Blaine: Here's looking at you, kid.

Senor Ferrari: Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a
 miracle to get you out of Casablanca, and the Germans have outlawed
 miracles.

{After observing the gambling tables at Rick's}
Customer: Are you sure this place is honest?
Carl: Honest? As honest as the day is long!

{As he goes to hand Renault a bribe}
Jay Brandel: Captain Renault ... may I?
Captain Louis Renault: Oh no! Not here please! Come to my office
 tomorrow morning. We'll do everything businesslike.
Jay Brandel: We'll be there at six!
Captain Louis Renault: I'll be there at ten.

Rick Blaine: How can you close me up? On what grounds?
Captain Louis Renault: I'm shocked ... shocked to find that gambling
 is going on in here.
{A croupier hands Renault a pile of money}
Croupier: Your winnings, sir.
Captain Louis Renault: Oh, thank you ... very much. Everybody out at
 once!

Rick Blaine: Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world,
 she walks into mine.

{Rick is trying to convince Ilsa to go with Lazlo}
Rick Blaine: If you don't get in that plane you'll regret it. Maybe
 not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your
 life.

Rick Blaine: And remember, this gun is pointed right at your heart.
Captain Louis Renault: That is my least vulnerable spot.

{After he watches Rick do the shooting, Renault gives orders to his
 police}
Captain Louis Renault: Major Strasser has been shot. Round up the
 usual suspects.

{Last line}
Rick Blaine: Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful
 friendship.
@
#CAST A DEADLY SPELL (1991) (TV)
Bradbury: If this is the future, I'll take vanilla.
@
#CHARADE (1963)
Peter Joshua: So you think *I'm* the murderer? What do I have to do
 to convince you that I'm not, be the next victim?
Regina Lambert: Well that would be a start.
@
#CHARLIE CHAN AT THE OPERA (1936)
A fellow performer to Gravelle: Who do you think you are,
 Frankenstein.
@
#CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS (1972)
Anya: Get out of the grave, Alan.
@
#CITIZEN KANE (1941)
{First line}
Charles Foster Kane: Rosebud... Rosebud...

Charles Foster Kane: I run a couple of newspapers. What do you do?
@
#CITY SLICKERS (1991)
{First line (running through the streets in front of angry bulls,
 deliberately)}
Mitch Robbins: Whose idea was this anyway???

Phil Berquist: Where are you from?
Ben Jessup: Baltimore. We have a dental practice there.
Mitch Robbins: Really, you're both dentists?
Steve Jessup: Yes! We're black AND we're dentists. Let's not make an
 issue out of it.
Ben Jessup: Eh, they're not making an issue of it. You're making an
 issue of it.

Bonnie Rayburn: Listen, it took a lot of courage to do what you did.
 Thank you.
Mitch Robbins: I'm married.

{When Mitch is talking badly of Curly}
Mitch: He's right behind me, isn't he?

Curly: I crap bigger than you!

{Ed Furillo accuses Mitch Robbins of flirting with Bonnie Rayburn}
Mitch Robbins: That was "have a pleasant and restful evening."
Ed Furillo: No, that was "I like your ass. Can I wear it as a hat?"

Mitch Robbins: Hi Curly. Killed anyone today?
Curly: The day ain't over yet...

{While Mitch Robbins is delivering the calf (Norman)}
Mitch Robbins: You know, this was not in the brochure...

Phil Berquist: You know you were right, Mitch. My life is a
 "do-over". It's time to get started.
Mitch Robbins: I hope I can help.
Ed Furillo: Now I'm gonna go home, and I'm gonna get Kim pregnant.
Mitch Robbins: I hope I can help.
@
#CITY SLICKERS II: THE LEGEND OF CURLY'S GOLD (1994)
{When Mitch is talking badly of someone (like in _City Slickers_ (qv)}
Mitch: He's right behind me, isn't he?
@
#CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER (1994)
The President: These drug cartels represent a clear and present danger
 to the security of the United States.

The President: So go down there, establish it.
Jack Ryan: Go down where?
The President: Columbia.
Jack Ryan: Who, me?

Ritter on Cutter's computer: They're in. Congratulation, James,
 you've got your own little war.

Ritter: Jack, computer theft is a very serious offense.

Ritter: Oh, no, I've got my own autographed Get Out of Jail Free card!

Jack Ryan to helicopter owner: Will you take a company check?

Clark: Hey, get out of my chopper!
Jack Ryan: No, no -- *my* chopper.
{Hands Clark receipt}

The President: How dare you come in here and bark at me like some
 junkyard dog. I am the President of the United States!
Jack Ryan: How dare *you*, sir!

Jack Ryan: I'm sorry, Mr. President, I don't dance.
@
#CLIFFHANGER (1993)
Gabe Walker: I've been working up in Denver.
BASE Jumper #1: "Work"? Don't say that word man!
Evan: Man, I hate work. Even when somebody else is doing it.

{The jet is about to make an emergency landing after they screwed up}
Eric Qualen: Don't bother to buckle up - you may not want to survive
 this.

Travers: Tucker and Walker! We're missing 3 bags.
Gabe Walker: What's in them?
Travers: None of your fucking business!
Eric Qualen: Suits, socks, 100 million dollars - the usual stuff.

Eric Qualen: Kill a few people, they call you a murderer. Kill a
 million and you're a conqueror.

Eric Qualen: Do you know what real love is, Kristel?
Kristel: No.
Eric Qualen shooting her: Sacrifice.

Eric Qualen: Love is a killer, isn't it?
@
#CLOCKWORK ORANGE, A (1971)
Alex: There was nothing I hated more than to see a filthy old drunkie,
 a-howling away at the sons of his father and going blurp blurp in
 between as if it were a filthy old orchestra in his stinking rotten
 guts. I could never stand to see anyone like that, especially when
 they were old like this one was.

Alex: Well, well, well! Well if it isn't fat stinking billy goat
 Billy Boy in poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap
 stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any
 yarble, ya eunuch jelly thou!

Alex: Hi, hi, hi, Mr. Deltoid!

Deltoid: I've just come from the hospital; your victim has died.
Alex: You try to frighten me. Admit so, sir. This is some new form of
 torture. Say it, Brother Sir.
Deltoid: It'll be your own torture. I hope to God it'll torture you
 to madness.

Alex: ...gorgeousness and gorgeousity...
@
#CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND (1977)
Brad Neary: I don't understand these fractions.
Roy Neary: What's one third of sixty?
Brad Neary: That's a fraction, I don't understand them.
Roy Neary: Alright, lets say that this box car is sixty feet long,
 OK?, and one third of it is across this switch here, alright... And
 now another train is coming... Now, how far do you have to move
 this box car so that the other train doesn't smash it? Quickly
 Brad, there are thousands of lives at stake... Brad any answer...
{CRASH}

{Roy is shoveling soil into his kitchen window.}
Roy Neary: Ronnie, if I don't do this, *that's* when I'm going to need
 a doctor.
@
#CLOSET LAND (1991)
Torturer: We are both seekers of truth and in this quest I am your
 friend, philosopher and guide.
@
#COCKTAIL (1988)
Brian Hanagan: You're offering me a job?
Doug Coughlin: Aha. {meaning yes}
Brian Hanagan: The waitresses hate me!
Doug Coughlin: You wait till you've given them crabs... Then you'll
 really know hatred.
@
#COCOANUTS, THE (1929)
Mr. Hammer: Now here is a little peninsula and here is a viaduct
 leading over to the mainland.
Chico: Why a duck?

Mr. Hammer: Think, think of the opportunities here in Florida. Three
 years ago, I came here without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a
 nickel in my pocket.

Mr. Hammer: Why, it's the most exclusive residential district in
 Florida. *Nobody* lives there.

Mr. Hammer on phone: You want to know where you can get a hold of
 Mrs. Potter? I don't know, she's awfully ticklish.

Mr. Hammer to Mrs. Potter: Your eyes! Your eyes! They shine like the
 pants of a blue serge suit.

Mr. Hammer: Believe me, you gotta get up early if you want to get out
 of bed.
@
#COLORS (1988)
Danny McGavin: You don't wanna get laid, man. It leads to kissing and
 pretty soon you gotta talk to 'em.
@
#COMMANDO (1985)
Matrix: I let him go.

Matrix: I'll be back, Bennett!

Matrix after killing a man in the plane: Don't disturb my friend, he's
 dead tired.

Soldier: Slitting a little girl's throat is like cutting warm butter.
Bennet: Put the knife away and shut your mouth.
@
#COMRADE X (1940)
Vanya: Well, there's some good news and some bad news. Last week all
 the towels were stolen. But on the other hand the water wasn't
 running so nobody needed the towels. Everything balances.

Mac Thompson: Hello, honeybun. Miss me?
Jane Wilson: No, I can always go to the zoo when you're away.
Mac Thompson: Oh, I've got rivals, huh?

Vanya: The communists have ideas. But they found out you can't run a
 government with everybody going around having ideas. So what is
 happening, the communists are being executed so that Communism
 should succeed.

Mac Thompson: What, uh, what are they singing?
Vanya: Same thing they always sing in prison, "We are Free."

Mac Thompson: I, uh, I got a confession to make. I lied to you.
Theodora: What about?
Mac Thompson: The USA. It ain't a spiritual desert. Say, it's pie a la
 mode, two-pants suits and the home of the brave, Pike's Peak and
 Coney Island.
@
#CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1981)
Conan: Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for
 it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad.
 Why we fought, and why we died. All that matters is that today, two
 stood against many. Valor pleases you, so grant me this one
 request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, the HELL with
 you!

Valeria: Do you want to live forever?

Thulsa Doom: Now they will know why they are afraid of the dark. Now
 they learn why they fear the night.

Subotai: He is Conan, Cimmerian, he won't cry, so I cry for him.

Mongol General: Conan, what is good in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, hear the
 lamentations of the women.
@
#CONTEMPT (1963)
Film Producer: When I hear the word culture, I take out my checkbook.
@
#COOGAN'S BLUFF (1968)
{Coogan is taking a bath, a busty woman is washing him, Coogan throws
 the soap, aiming for her cleavage, and misses}
Woman: Need a bigger target?
Coogan: There ain't any in this county.
@
#COOL HAND LUKE (1967)
Captain: What we've got here is failure to communicate.

Lucas (Luke) Jackson: I can fifty eggs.
Other Prisoner: Nobody can eat fifty eggs!
Dragline: My boy says he can eat fifty eggs, he can eat fifty eggs!
Dragline aside: Luke, why'd ya have to go and say fifty...
@
#COUCH TRIP, THE (1988)
Hendricks: He cares, that's the secret. It's in his voice. Do you
 know what that means to an advertiser.
Donald Becker: Whoever wants the donuts without jelly, they're ready.
@
#COURT JESTER, THE (1956)
Hawkins: I've got it! I've got it! The pellet with the poison's in the
 vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew
 that is true! Right?
Griselda: Right. But there's been a change: they broke the chalice
 from the palace!
Hawkins: They *broke* the chalice from the palace?
Griselda: And replaced it with a flagon.
Hawkins: A flagon...?
Griselda: With the figure of a dragon.
Hawkins: Flagon with a dragon.
Griselda: Right.
Hawkins: But did you put the pellet with the poison in the vessel with
 the pestle?
Griselda: No!!! The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the
 dragon! The vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true!
Hawkins: The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon;
 the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true.
Griselda: Just remember that.
@
#CRAZY FAT ETHEL II (1985)
Hope Bartholomew: Time for your medication, Ethel.
Ethel Janowski: I don't want any damn pills. I want a snack, Granny!
@
#CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS (1989)
Halley Reed of Lester: He's an American phenomenon.
Clifford Stern: Yeah, like acid rain.
@
#CRIMES OF PASSION (1984)
Wife: Didn't your mother teach you to wash your hands after you went
 to the bathroom?
Bobby Grady: No, she taught me not to piss on my fingers.
@
#CRIMSON TIDE (1995)
Capt. Ramsey: We're here to preserve democracy, not practice it.
@
#CROMWELL
Oliver Cromwell: It's an odd thing, Mr. Ireton. Every man who wages
 war believes God is on his side. I'll warrant God should often
 wonder who is on his.

King Charles: A democracy, Mr. Cromwell, was a Greek drollery based on
 the foolish notion that there are extraordinary possibilities in
 very ordinary people.

Oliver Cromwell: Against the King? You mean a civil war? In England?
 Huh! You know not the ways of this nation. Such things do not
 happen here.
@
#CROSSROADS (1986)
Willie Brown: Where I come from, you don't play no harp, you don't get
 no pussy.
@
#CROW, THE (1994)
Albrecht: You, don't move!
Eric Draven: I thought cops always said "Freeze!"
Albrecht: Well, I say don't move. Move and you're dead!
Eric Draven: And I say I'm dead ... and I move...

{Just before he stabs Tin-Tin}
Eric Draven: Victims ... aren't we all?

Eric Draven: Nothing is trivial.
@
#CRY IN THE DARK, A (1989)
Lindy Chamberlain: A dingo's got my baby!
@
#CUTTING EDGE, THE (1992)
{On the First Olympic Skate Doug has the top button unbuttoned}
Kate: You are an immature asshole of the lowest kind.
Doug: If it was 40 degrees below zero and that button meant the
 difference between a warm satisfying life and a cold horrible death
 from hypothermia, I still wouldn't give you the satisfaction!
 Skate!
@
#D.O.A. (1949)
Dr. MacDonald: Of course I'll have to notify the police. This is a
 case for Homicide.
Frank Bigelow: Homicide!
Dr. MacDonald: I don't think you fully understand, Bigelow. You've
 been murdered.
@
#DANCES WITH WOLVES (1990)
Soldier: Turned injun didn't yeh!

Stands With a Fist: I go where you go. My place is with you.

Lieutenant Dunbar: Dunbar, not Dumb Bear.
@
#DARK BACKWARD, THE (1991)
Rosarita: It's all over between the two of us. I can't love a man
 with three hands.
@
#DARK CRYSTAL, THE (1982)
Jen: Wings? I have no wings.
Kira: Of course not, you are a boy.
@
#DEAD ALIVE (1992)
Father McGruder: I kick ass for the lord!

Lionel Cosgrove: That's my mother you're pissing on.
@
#DEAD MEN DON'T WEAR PLAID (1982)
Rigby Reardon: Women. They tear your heart out of your chest, slice it
 in little pieces, cook it, serve it to you on a hot plate and you're
 supposed to say, "Thanks, honey, it's delicious." But sorry Juliet,
 it tastes rotten.

Juliette Forrest: What does "Foc" mean?
Rigby Reardon: It's a slang word. When a man and a woman are in love,
 the man puts his---
Juliette Forrest: No, no. Here: "F. O. C."

Rigby Reardon: My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face.

Rigby Reardon: I hadn't seen a body put together like that since I
 solved the case of the Murdered Girl with the Big Tits.

Rigby Reardon: Carlotta was the kind of town where they spell trouble
 T-R-U-B-I-L, and if you try to correct them, they kill you.

Field Marshall Von Kluck: It is customary in these situations for the
 developer of the plan to explain it.
Rigby Reardon: It is also customary for the DETECTIVE to explain how
 HE figured it out!

{At Juliet's house after Rigby has been shot the first time}
Butler: Yes?
Rigby Reardon: I'd like to see Ms. Forrest.
Butler: Who shall I say is calling?
Rigby Reardon: Rigby Reardon, tell her I've been shot.
Butler: Very good, sir. May I tell her by whom?
Rigby Reardon: No, I don't know myself.
Butler: Are you alright? You look as though you're going to faint.
Rigby Reardon: Faint? Never... Catch me.
{Rigby Reardon falls on the floor, fainting}
Butler: Sorry, I'm a Butler, not a catcher.

{In Rigby's office}
Juliet Forrest: If you need me, just call. You know how to dial,
 don't you? You just put your finger in the hole and make tiny
 little circles.
@
#DEAD POETS SOCIETY (1989)
John Keating: Why do we need language ?
Neil Perry: To communicate...
John Keating: Nooo!! To woo women !
@
#DEAD POOL, THE (1988)
Harry Callahan: You forgot to read your fortune cookie. It says,
 `You're shit out of luck.'
@
#DEEP RED (1994)
Joe Keyes: This is not a perfect world. In a perfect world, evil
 loses.
@
#DEPRAVED (1995)
Chick Diamond: Look!
Hotis Tumbs: If you're so sure I have AIDS, then why did you just eat
 my ejaculate out of those skeevy gin-sacks rear-ends???
@
#DEVIL BAT, THE (1941)
Henry Morton: You're a dreamer, Doc. Too much money is bad for
 dreamers.
Dr. Paul Carruthers: So you tried to pay me in flattery, telling me
 that I'm a dreamer. Well...I *do* dream - dreams that you would
 *never* guess.
@
#DIAL M FOR MURDER (1954)
Tony Wendice: People don't commit murder on credit.

Tony Wendice: Do you really believe in the perfect murder?
@
#DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (1971)
{Tiffany Case opened the door almost nude}
Tiffany Case: I'll finish dressing.
James Bond as Peter Franks: Oh please don't, not on my account.

Felix Leiter: I give up. I know the diamonds are in the body, but
 where?
James Bond: Alimentary, my dear Leiter...

Driver: The stiff, ehm, the deceased back there... Your brother,
 Mr. Franks?
James Bond as Peter Franks: Yes, it was.
Passenger: I got a brother.
James Bond as Peter Franks: Small world.

Plenty O'Toole: Hi, I'm Plenty.
James Bond: But of course you are...

{James Bond is lucky with the dice while gambling}
Plenty O'Toole: You handle those cubes like a monkey handles
 coconuts...

James Bond: That's a nice little nothing you're almost wearing.

{Plenty O'Toole is thrown out of the window by some goons perhaps from
 the 10th floor, and lands in the middle of the hotel's swimming
 pool}
James Bond looking down: Exceptionally fine shot.
Goon: I didn't know there was a pool down there.

{A couple of oil workers open a hatch down to the oil pipe, and James
 Bond comes up to their surprise}
James Bond: Thank you very much. I was just out walking my round and
 I seem to have lost my way...

James Bond: Good morning, gentlemen. ACME pollution inspection.
 We're cleaning up the world, we thought this was a suitable starting
 point.
@
#DICK TRACY (1990)
Big Boy Caprice: Wait a minute! Wait. Wait. I'm having a thought.
 Oh yes. Oh yes. I'm going to have a thought. It's coming. It's
 coming. ...It's gone.
@
#DIE HARD (1988)
John McClane recalls his wife's invitation: Come out to the coast,
 we'll get together, have a few laughs...

John McClane: Take *this* under advisement, jerkweed!

Agent Johnson: Figure we take out the terrorists. Lose 20-25% of the
 hostages.
Special Agent Johnson: I can live with that.

Deputy Chief of Police Dwayne T. Robinson: We're gonna need some more
 FBI guys I guess.

John McClane: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!
@
#DIE HARD 2 (1990)
{Just before John McClane recognizes Vito Lorenzo, the officer towing
 away his car earlier}
John McClane: Excuse me officers. This may sound like a wild
 goose-chase, but I think I just saw...
Vito Lorenzo: Saw what???
John McClane: Elvis. Elvis Presley...

John McClane: Oh man, I can't fucking believe this. Another basement,
 another elevator. How can the same thing happen to the same guy
 twice???

Grant: You are the wrong person at the wrong place at the wrong time!
John McClane: Story of my life.

John McClane: I guess I was wrong about you. You're not such an
 asshole after all.
Grant: Oh, you were right about me. I'm just your kind of asshole.

Grant: Too bad, McClane. I kind of liked you.
John McClane: I got enough friends!

Holly McClane: They told me there were terrorists at the airport.
John McClane: Yeah, I heard that too.
@
#DIE HARD: WITH A VENGEANCE (1995)
{McClane and Zeus are speeding through Central Park}
John McClane: Relax, I know what I'm doing.
Zeus: Not even God knows what you're doing, McClane.
@
#DIRTY HARRY (1971)
{After a frantic gunfight, Harry has his gun trained on a crook who's
 lying on the ground, trying to decide whether to try and grab his
 shotgun}
Harry: Aha! I know what you're thinking... Did I fire six shots or
 only five? To tell you the truth, I forgot it myself in all this
 excitement. This here's a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in
 the world, and it can blow your head clean off. Now, you must ask
 yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do you, punk?

{Harry Callahan has to explain why he shot a man}
Harry Callahan: Well, when an adult male is chasing a female with
 intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy.
The Mayor: Intent? How did you establish that?
Harry Callahan: When a man is chasing a woman through an alley a
 butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for
 the Red Cross!
@
#DOCTOR AND THE DEVILS, THE (1985)
Doctor Thomas Rock: I set myself up as a God over death.
@
#DOCTOR DOLITTLE (1967)
Ploynesia the Parrot: I speak over two thousand languages, including
 Dodo and Unicorn.
@
#DOPPELGANGER (1993)
{Elisabeth comments on how fast Patrick had begun sleeping with Holly
 when a guy comes out of her bedroom}
Patrick Highsmith: What was that you were saying about 6 months of
 suffering?
Elisabeth: OK, so I'm a slut, you're a slut, who wants coffee?
@
#DR. ALIEN
Wesley: You stay away from me. You are not of this earth!
Xenobia: Wesley, you say that as if it were a negative thing.
@
#DR. NO (1962)
James Bond: It's a Smith and Wesson. And you've had your six.
@
#DR. STRANGELOVE OR: HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE BOMB (1963)
Major T. J. "King" Kong: Goldie, how many times have I told you guys
 that I don't want no horsing around on the airplane.

Major T. J. "King" Kong: Now I've been to one world fair, a picnic and
 a rodeo and that's the stupidest thing I've heard come over a set of
 earphones. Are you sure you got today's codes?

Major T. J. "King" Kong: Now boys I reckon this is it...nuclear combat
 toe to toe with the Ruskies.

Major T. J. "King" Kong: Look boys I ain't much of a hand at making
 speeches, but I got a pretty fair idea that something doggone
 important is goin' on back there. And I got a fair idea the kinda
 personal emotions that some of you fellas may be thinkin'. Heck, I
 reckon you wouldn't even be human beings if you didn't have some
 pretty strong personal feelings about nuclear combat. I want you to
 remember one thing, the folks back at home are counting on you and
 by golly we ain't about to let them down. I tell you something
 else, if this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it
 just might be, I'd say that you're all in line for some important
 promotions and personal citations when this thing is over with.
 That goes for ever' last one of you regardless of your race, color
 or creed. Now let's get this thing on the hump...we got some flying
 to do.

General Jack Ripper: I can longer sit back and allow comunist
 infiltration, comunist indoctrination, comunist perversion and the
 international comunist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our
 precious bodily fluids.

General "Buck" Turgidson: I don't think it's quite fair to condemn the
 whole program because of a single slip up.

General "Buck" Turgidson: I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair
 mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed,
 tops. Uh, depending on the breaks.

Major T. J. "King" Kong: Survival kit contents check. In them you'll
 find: one 45 caliber automatic, two boxes of ammunition, four days
 concentrated emergency rations, one drug issue containing
 antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills,
 tranquilizer pills, one miniature combination Russian phrase book
 and Bible, one hundred dollars in rubles, one hundred in gold, nine
 packs of chewing gum, one issue of prophylactics, three lipsticks,
 three pairs of nylon stockings. Shoot a fella' could have a pretty
 good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.

General "Buck" Turgidson: Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday
 machines.

The President: You can't fight in here, this is the War Room!

President to the Soviet Premier over the red phone: Hullo? ... Ah
 ... Hello, Dm... ah ... Hello, Dmitri? ... Listen, ah, I can't hear
 too well. Do you suppose you could turn down the music just a
 little? ... Oh-ho, that's much better. ... yeah ... ha ... yes
 ... Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri. ... Clear and plain and coming
 through fine. ... I'm coming through fine, too, eh? ... Good, then
 ... well, then, as you say, we're both coming trough
 fine. ... Good. ... Well, it's good that you're fine and ... and I'm
 fine. ... I agree with you, it's great to be fine. ... a-ha-ha-ha-ha
 ... Now then, Dmitri, you know how we've always talked about the
 possibility of something going wrong with the bomb. ... The *bomb*,
 Dmitri. ... The *hydrogen* bomb! ... Well now, what happened is
 ... ah ... one of our base commanders had a sort of ... well, he
 went a little funny in the head ... you know ... just a little
 ... funny. And, ah ... he went and did a silly thing. ... Well,
 I'll tell you what he did. He ordered his planes ... to attack your
 country... Ah... Well, let me finish, Dmitri. ... Let me finish,
 Dmitri. ... Well listen, how do you think I feel about it?! ... Can
 you *imagine* how I feel about it, Dmitri? ... Why do you think I'm
 calling? Just to say hello? ... *Of course* I like to speak to you!
 ... *Of course* I like to say hello! ... Not now, byt anytime,
 Dmitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has
 happened... *It's* a friendly call. Of course it's a friendly
 call. ... Listen, if it wasn't friendly ... you probably wouldn't
 have even got it. ... They will *not* reach their targets for at
 least another hour. ... I am ... I am possitive, Dmitri. ... Listen,
 I've been all over this with your ambassador. It is not a
 trick. ... Well, I'll tell you. We'd like to give your air staff a
 complete run-down on the targets, the flight plans, and the
 defensive systems of the planes. ... Yes! I mean i-i-i-if we're
 unable to recall the planes, then ... I'd say that, ah ... well, ah
 ... we're just gonna have to help you destroy them, Dmitri. ... I
 know they're our boys. ... All right, well listen now. Who should
 we call? ... *Who* should we call, Dmitri? The ... wha-whe, the
 People... you, sorry, you faded away there. ... The People's Central
 Air Defense Headquarters. ... Where is that, Dmitri? ... In
 Omsk. ... Right. ... Yes. ... Oh, you'll call them first, will you?
 ... Uh-hu ... Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you,
 Dmitri? ... Whe-ah, what? I see, just ask for Omsk
 information. ... Ah-ah-eh-uhm-hm ... I'm sorry, too, Dmitri. ... I'm
 very sorry. ... *All right*, you're sorrier than I am, but I am as
 sorry as well. ... I am as sorry as you are, Dmitri! Don't say that
 you're {the} more sorry than I am, because I'm capable of being just
 as sorry as you are. ... So we're both sorry, all right?! ... All
 right. ...
@
#DRACULA (1979)
Count Dracula: Listen to them -- children of the night. What music
 they make!
@
#DRAGNET (1987)
{Last lines}
Friday: Not that it's any of your business, Mr. National Enquirer, but
 I had the pleasure of spending a quiet evening in the company of
 Connie Swail.
Pep Streebek: Wait a minute. Connie Swail? Don't you mean "The
 *Virgin* Connie Swail"?
{Friday turns his head slowly towards Pep Streebek}
@
#DRAGON: THE BRUCE LEE STORY (1993)
Linda Emery: A philosophy major? Now, what can you do with a
 philosophy major?
Bruce Lee: You can think deep thoughts about being unemployed.

{Bruce Lee in a wheelchair}
Vivian Emery: How are you feeling, Mr. Lee?
Bruce Lee: Oh, like half man, half car.
@
#DUCK SOUP (1933)
Rufus T. Firefly: We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is more
 than she ever did.
@
#DUELLISTS, THE (1977)
Armand D'Hubert: I am going to be killed responsibly, on horseback, as
 a compliment to the cavalry.

Armand D'Hubert: General Feraud has made occasional attempts to kill
 me. That does not give him the right to claim my acquaintance.

Armand D'Hubert: We came here to kill each other. Any ground is
 suitable for that.
@
#DUMB & DUMBER (1994)
Airport Clerk: Sir, you can't go in there!
Lloyd Christmas: It's ok, I'm a limo driver!

Lloyd Christmas: So where are you headin'?
Mary Swanson: Aspen.
Lloyd Christmas: Hmmm, California! Beautiful!
@
#E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL (1982)
Elliot: How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?
@
#EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS (1956)
Dr Russell Marvin: Both Carol and I are subject to the same
 atmospheric disturbances that may have affected other observers, but
 there is a qualitative difference, when you're a scientist.

Carol to Dr Marvin when he is trying to be amorous with her: I thought
 intellectual giants were supposed to be backwards and shy.
@
#EASY RIDER (1969)
George Hanson: I mean it is real hard to be free when you are bought
 and sold in the marketplace.
@
#ED WOOD (1994)
{Dr. Tom Mason is practicing his Bela Lugosi impersonation while
 waiting to be baptised}
Dr. Tom Mason: I want to suck your blood...
Bunny Breckenridge: Very good. Now let's hear you say "Boris Karloff
 is a cocksucker".
@
#ELEPHANT MAN, THE (1980)
John Merrick: I am not an animal! I am a human being! I am a man!
@
#EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, THE (1980)
Han Solo: Afraid I was gonna leave without giving you a goodbye kiss?
Princess Leia Organa: I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee!
Han Solo: I can arrange that! You could use a good kiss!

Han Solo: Well Princess, it looks like you managed to keep me here a
 while longer.
Princess Leia Organa: I had nothing to do with it. General Rieekan
 thinks it's dangerous for anyone to leave the system until they've
 activated the energy shield.
Han Solo: That's a good story. I think you just can't bear to let a
 gorgeous guy like me out of your sight.
Princess Leia Organa: I don't know where you get you delusions, laser
 brain!
{Chewbacca laughs}
Han Solo: Laugh it up, fuzzball!

C-3PO: R2 says that the chances of survival are 725 to 1. Actually R2
 has been known to make mistakes - from time to time... Oh dear...

Han Solo: Oh! I thought they smelled bad on the *outside*!

Han Solo: You said you wanted to be around when I made a mistake,
 well, this could be it, sweetheart.
Princess Leia: I take it back.

Luke Skywalker: Alright, I'll give it a try.
Yoda: No! Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try.

Luke Skywalker: I don't believe it.
Yoda: That is why you fail.

Princess Leia Organa: I'll be back.

Han Solo: You said you wanted to be around when I made a mistake,
 well, this could be it, sweetheart.
Princess Leia: I take it back.

Princess Leia Organa: I love you.
Han Solo: I know.
@
#ENTER THE DRAGON (1973)
{Lee, Bruce}: Do not concentrate on the finger or you will miss all
 that heavenly glory.

{Lee, Bruce}: Why doesn't somebody go in there wil a .45 and settle
 it.

{Lee, Bruce}: My style, you can call the art of fighting without
 fighting.
@
#ENTERTAINING MR. SLOANE (1970)
Sloane to Ed (having just murdered Ed's father): You wouldn't put me
 away, would you? ... I'm impressionable. Think what the nick would
 do to me. I'd pick up criminal connections.
@
#ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK (1981)
President: God save me.

Bob Hauk: I'm not a fool, Plissken!
S.D. "Snake" Plissken: Call me Snake.

Bob Hauk: Remember, once you're inside you're on your own.
S.D. "Snake" Plissken: Oh, you mean I can't count on you? Good!

Girl in "Chock Full O'Nuts": You're a cop!
S.D. "Snake" Plissken: I'm an asshole...

The Duke: They sent in their best man, and when we roam out the 69th
 street bridge tomorrow, on our way to freedom, we're going to have
 their best man leading the way --- from the neck up!

Brain: They're savages, Mr. President.

Bob Hauk: We'd make one hell of a team, Snake!
S.D. "Snake" Plissken: The name's Plissken!

{Last line}
The President: Good evening. Although I shall not be present at this
 historic summit meeting, I present this in the hope that our great
 nations may learn to live in peace...
@
#EVE AND THE HANDYMAN (1961)
The Woman: My mind raced like a hot rod along the drag strip of
 inspiration.
@
#EVEN COWGIRLS GET THE BLUES (1993)
The Countess: All of us are freaks in one way or another. Try being
 born a male Russian Countess into a white, middle class, Baptist
 family in Mississippi, and you'll see what I mean.

The Countess: It's been six months, hasn't it? In some circles that
 is half a year.

The Countess: There comes a time when it is psychologically impossible
 for a woman to lose her virginity - you can't wait too long, you
 know.

Sissy Hankshaw reading a road sign: If it's sloppy, says The Chink,
 best to eat it over the sink.

Delores Del Ruby about The Countess: Look at him, perverse as a pink
 pickle.

Delores Del Ruby: Playfulness ceases to have a serious purpose when it
 takes itself too seriously.
@
#EVEN HITLER HAD A GIRLFRIEND
Marcus: At least this is better than my old job - changing those
 aromatic urinal cakes.
@
#EVIL DEAD II (1987)
{Upon gaining the chain saw in place of his lost right hand}
Ash: Groovy.

Demon: I'll swallow your soul!! I'll swallow your soul!!
{Ash points his shotgun at the Demon's head}
Ash: Swallow this!
@
#EVIL DEAD, THE (1983)
{Sharyn has been hacked into several pieces}
Ash: We can't bury Sharyn. She's our friend.
@
#EXERCISE IN DISCIPLINE - PEEL, AN (1982)
{First line}
Sister/aunt: You don't want other opinions, don't ask for them.
@
#FACE IN THE CROWD, A (1957)
Lonesome Rhodes: This whole country's just like my flock of sheep!
 Hillbillies, hausfraus - everybody that's got to jump when someone
 else blows a whistle! They're mine!
@
#FALLING DOWN (1993)
Korean Shop Owner: Take the money!
William "D-FENS" Foster: You think I'm a thief? You see, I'm not the
 thief. I'm not the one charging 85 cents for a STINKING SODA!
 You're the thief! I'm just standing up for my rights as a consumer.

{William "D-FENS" Foster is sitting on a concrete ruin filled with
 graffiti, resting, and 2 Hispanic guys walk up to him saying he is
 trespassing}
William "D-FENS" Foster: I didn't see any signs?
Dude #1 pointing at a graffiti skull: What do you call that?
William "D-FENS" Foster: Graffiti?
Dude #1: No no, it's not fucking graffiti, that's a sign.
Dude #2: You can't read it man.
Dude #1: I'll read it for you. It says this is fucking private
 property. No fucking trespassing. That means fucking you.
William "D-FENS" Foster: It says all that?
Dude #1: Yeah.
William "D-FENS" Foster: Well, if you maybe wrote in fucking English I
 would fucking understand you.

{William "D-FENS" Foster picks up the flat hamburger he just ordered,
 comparing it to the picture behind the counter}
William "D-FENS" Foster: Can anybody tell me what's wrong with this
 picture?

Annoying Man at Phone Booth: Excuse me.. Hey, exCUSE ME! I don't
 know if you have noticed it or not, but there are other people
 waiting to use the phone here.
William "D-FENS" Foster: There are?
Annoying Man at Phone Booth: Yeah!
William "D-FENS" Foster: People want to use the phone?
Annoying Man at Phone Booth: That's right, you selfish asshole!
William "D-FENS" Foster: That's too bad. You know what?
Annoying Man at Phone Booth: What?
William "D-FENS" Foster firing a machine gun into the phone booth: I
 think it's out of order.

William "D-FENS" Foster to The Golfer that is having a heart attack:
 Yeah! And now you're gonna die, wearing that stupid little hat.
 How does it feel?

William "D-FENS" Foster: I'm the bad guy??? How did that happen?

Sergeant Prendergast: Fuck you Captain Yardley. Fuck you very much.
@
#FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH (1982)
Mike Damone: You are a wuss: part wimp, and part pussy.

{The "five-point plan"}
Mike Damone: 1. Never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie.
 Hi." 2. Wherever you are, act like it's the place to be. "Isn't
 this great?" 3. You call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret
 it." 4. When ordering, find out what she wants, then order for the
 both of you. It's a classy move. "The lady will have the linguini
 with white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice." 5. This is most
 important of all. When it comes down to making out, whenever
 possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

Jeff Spicoli: No shirt. No shoes. No dice.
Brad Hamilton: Right. Learn it, know it, live it.

{Spicoli, talking on the phone, hits his head with a shoe.}
Jeff Spicoli: That was my skull!! I'm so wasted!

Stacy Hamilton: When a guy has an orgasm, how much comes out?
Linda Barrett: About a quart or so.

Customer: It says one hundred percent guaranteed, you moron!
Brad Hamilton: Listen mister, if you don't shut up I'm gonna kick one
 hundred percent of your ass!

Jeff Spicoli: So what this Jefferson dude was saying is: We left this
 England place because it was bogus. If we don't get us some cool
 rules pronto, we'll just be bogus too.

{after a car wreck}
Jeff Spicoli: Relax, my old man is a TV repairman, he's got an
 ultimate set of tools. I can fix it.
@
#FATHER OF THE BRIDE (1991)
George Banks: And don't forget to fasten your condoms! ...Seatbelts,
 I mean seatbelts.
@
#FEARLESS (1993)
Laura Klein: Why didn't you call and say you were alive?
Max Klein: I thought I was dead.

Carla Rodrigo: So what are you saying? That there's no God, but
 there's you?
@
#FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS OR: PARDON ME, BUT YOUR TEETH ARE IN MY NECK, THE (1967)
{A young woman tries to fend off Shagail, a Jewish Vampire, with a
 cross}
Shagail: Boy have you got the wrong vampire.
@
#FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF (1986)
Jeannie Bueller: There is an intruder -- male, Caucasian, possibly
 armed, certainly weird -- in my kitchen.

{Charlie Sheen}: Drugs?
Jeannie Bueller: Thank you, no. I'm straight.
{Charlie Sheen}: I meant, are you in here for drugs?
Jeannie Bueller: Why are you here?
{Charlie Sheen}: Drugs.

Jeannie Bueller: I don't believe this. If I was bleeding out my eyes,
 you guys would make me go to school.

Ferris Bueller: I did have a test today. That wasn't bullshit. It's
 on European socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not
 European, I don't plan on being European, so who gives a crap if
 they're socialist? They could be fascist anarchists - that still
 wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car. Not that I condone
 fascism, or any ism for that matter. Isms in my opinion are not
 good. A person should not believe in an ism - he should believe in
 himself. I quote John Lennon: "I don't believe in Beatles - I just
 believe in me". A good point there. Of course, he was the Walrus.
 I could be the Walrus - I'd still have to bum rides off of people.

Ferris Bueller: The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands.
 It's a good non-specific symptom. A lot of people will tell you
 that a phony fever is a dead lock, but if you get a nervous mother,
 you could land in the doctor's office. That's worse than school.
 What you do is, you fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over,
 moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish
 and stupid, but then, so is high school.

Ferris Bueller: Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you
 stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you would have a
 diamond.

Ed Rooney: Le joue son fait. Translation: the jig is up. Your ass is
 mine.

Singing Nurse: I heard that you were feeling ill / Headache, fever,
 and a chill / I came to help restore your pluck / 'Cause I'm the
 nurse who likes to---

Ed Rooney: I don't trust this kid any farther than I can throw him.
Grace: With your bad knee Ed, you shouldn't throw anybody.
Ed Rooney: What's so terrible about a kid like Ferris is he gives good
 kids, bad ideas. Last thing I need in my career is 1500 Ferris
 Bueller deciphals running around these halls. He jeopardizes my
 ability to effectivley govern this student body.
Grace: He makes you look like an ass is what he does, Ed.
@
#FIELD OF DREAMS (1989)
Terence Mann: Oh my God!
Ray Kinsella: What?
Terence Mann: You're from the Sixties!

Shoeless Joe Jackson: Is this heaven?
Ray Kinsella: No, it's Iowa.
@
#FIELD OF FIRE (1991)
Sgt. Duncan: It's your life. I can't teach you the bush over night.
@
#FINAL ANALYSIS (1992)
{Isaac Barr and Alan Lowenthal are talking about Heather Evans before
 Alan Lowenthal has met her}
Alan Lowenthal: I suppose now you're gonna tell me you have feelings
 for this woman?
Isaac Barr: To tell you the truth I can't I can't stop thinking about
 her...
Alan Lowenthal: Isaac, you know as well as I do that romantic love is
 a projection. You're not seeing this woman
Isaac Barr: Hehe, get out of here...
Alan Lowenthal: It's a vision.. You're in a delusional state.
Isaac Barr: It's not delusional.
Alan Lowenthal: Yes it is. It's delusional. There is no human being,
 no woman that's so beautiful - so special - that all of your normal
 thought patterns
{Heather Evans enters the room}
Alan Lowenthal: Eh, can I help you?

Heather Evans: Do you come out here a lot?
Isaac Barr: No, just in moments of existential anxiety and when I want
 to impress a date.

Isaac Barr: He thought I was from the justice department. Is the
 dress that bad?
@
#FIRST KNIGHT (1995)
King Arthur: This is the heart of Camelot, not these stones, not these
 timbers, these palaces and towers. Burn them all and Camelot lives
 on, because it lives in us. Camelot is a belief that we hold in our
 hearts.
@
#FISH CALLED WANDA, A (1988)
Archibald Leech: I offer a complete and utter retraction. The
 imputation was totally without basis in fact, was in no way fair
 comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any
 distress that my remarks may have caused you or your family, and I
 hereby undertake not to repeat such a slander at any time in the
 future.

Wanda Gershowitz: You just wanted to get me into bed.
Archibald Leech: I fell in love with you.
Wanda Gershowitz: How come you dumped me then.
Archibald Leech: I wasn't rich enough, remember.
Wanda Gershowitz: Say something in Russian.
Archibald Leech: No.

{Repeated line}
Otto: Don't call me stupid.

Otto: Apes don't read philosophy.
Wanda Gershowitz: Yes they do, Otto, they just don't understand it!

Wanda Gershowitz: I've known sheep who could outwit you. I've worn
 dresses with higher IQs, but you think you're an intellectual, don't
 you, ape?

Archibald Leach: You're a true vulgarian, aren't you?
Otto: You're the vulgarian, you fuck!

Wanda Gershowitz to Otto: The London Undergound is not a political
 movement.

Otto: Apes don't read philosophy.
Wanda Gershowitz: Yes, Otto, they do. They just don't understand it.
@
#FLASH GORDON (1980)
Ming the Merciless: Pathetic earthlings. Hurling your bodies out into
 the void, without the slightest inkling of who or what is out
 here. If you had known anything about the true nature of the
 universe, anything at all, you would've hidden from it in terror.

Clytus: Most effective, Your Majesty. Will you destroy this Earth?
Ming the Merciless: Later. I like to play with things a while before
 annihilation.

Dale Arden: Flash, Flash, I love you, but we only have fourteen hours
 to save the Earth!

Flash Gordon: Prince Barin! I'm not your enemy, Ming is! Let's all
 team up and fight him.

Aura: Look! Water is leaking from her eyes.
Ming the Merciless: It's what they call tears, it's a sign of their
 weakness.

Barin: Freeze, bloody bastards!
@
#FLATLINERS (1990)
{First line (first used in _Little Big Man_ (qv))}
Nelson: Today is a good day to die...

Joe Hurley: I don't know. Not thinking about the past or the future.
 I don't know it's difficult to explain, maybe impossible.
David Labraccio: Yeah, dying is quite that way.

{This is an Sioux-indian war cry meaning "Today is a good day to die"}
David Labraccio: Hoka-hey.

{Last Line}
Nelson: It wasn't such a good day to die...
@
#FLETCH (1985)
Fletch to the audience: There has been a lot of drug smuggling on the
 beach lately. I have been trying to find out who's behind it, it
 hasn't been easy ... I don't shower much.

Fletch: Did you steal this car?
Teenager: I sure did!
Fletch: Well, I'm not sure that's even a crime anymore, there've been
 a lot of changes in the law.

Fletch: You know, if you shoot me, you're liable to loose a lot of
 those humanitarian awards.

Fletch: ...and who would have known that the Vice President knew I was
 opening the door, but the Secret Service, they just *whack* {mimes
 door hitting him in the face}, blood...

Alan Stanwyck: You do own rubber gloves?
Fletch: I rent 'em. I have a lease with an option to buy.

Fletch: For another grand, I'll let you take me out to dinner.

Pathologist: Ever seen a spleen that large?
Fletch: No, not since breakfast.

Fletch to Gail Stanwyck: Can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a
 water buffalo.

Fletch: This little proposition doesn't entail me dressing as
 little-bo-peep, does it?

Fletch: I would have been here sooner, but a manure-spreader jacknifed
 on the Santa Ana. You should see my shoes.

{Fletch is being interrogated by Chief Karlin and is giving him
 attitude}
Chief Karlin: What's your name?
Fletch: Fletch.
Chief Karlin: What's your full name?
Fletch: Fletch F. Fletch.
Chief Karlin: What do you do for a living, Mr. Fletch?
Fletch: I'm a shepherd.
Chief Karlin: Why are you doing this, Mr. Fletch?
Fletch: I like men. I like to be manhandled. I like you.

{Fletch is being framed for drug possession by two very large cops}
Fletch: Aren't you gonna read me my rights?
Cop: You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to have
 your face kicked in by me. You have the right to have your balls
 stomped on by him.
Fletch: I think I'll waive my rights.
@
#FLIRT
Bill {indicates gun}: What are you gonna do with that?
Walter: I'm gonna shoot myself.
Bill {unloading gun}: That's pretty stupid, Walter.
Walter: Yeah, I guess I oughta shoot Margaret, huh?
{Bill pockets the bullets and lays the gun back down.}
Bill {pours a drink}: No, you're not gonna shoot anybody.
Walter: Maybe I oughta shoot you.
@
#FLY, THE (1986)
{This is the originator of this quote}
Veronica "Ronnie" Quaife: Be afraid. Be very afraid.
@
#FLYING DOWN TO RIO (1933)
Fred Ayres: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. This is really good news.
 Rog has outdone himself.
Honey Hale: I'll bet he's broken both legs running after two women at
 the same time.

Fred Ayres: Nothing of the kind. He's landed us a job in Rio. Rio de
 Janeiro. The Hotel Atlantico. We'll be flying down any morning
 now.
Honey Hale: And swimming back in the afternoon. I'm taking my
 water-wings.
@
#FOLLOW THE FLEET (1936)
Bake Baker: Let's kiss and make up.
Sherry Martin: No, let's just make up. That'll give you something to
 work for.
@
#FOOTLIGHT PARADE (1933)
Nan Prescott to Vivian: As long as there are sidewalks, you've got
 always work.

Chester Kent: Listen, Nan, send a new boy and girl on right away, and
 make sure they're not in love with each other.
Nan Prescott: Right.
Chester Kent: Uh, get a couple already married.

Charlie Bowers: Is there, is there anything I can do?
Chester Kent: Yeah. See that window over there?
Charlie Bowers: Yeah.
Chester Kent: Take a running jump and I think you can make it.
@
#FOR KEEPS (1988)
Lou Bobrucz: Young lady, you have to learn to keep your mouth and legs
 closed.
@
#FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (1981)
James Bond: Now put your clothes back on, and I'll buy you an ice
 cream.
@
#FORBIDDEN PLANET (1956)
{Robbie the Robot has been asked to duplicate alcohol}
Robbie the Robot: Would 60 gallons be sufficient?

Robbie the Robot: Sorry miss, I was giving myself an oil-job.
@
#FORCE 10 FROM NAVARONE (1978)
Mallory: You're Nikolai... You're the man who blew us in Greece.
@
#FOREIGN AFFAIR, A (1948)
Captain John Pringle: How are things back in Iowa?
Phoebe Frost: Sixty-two percent Republican, thank you.
@
#FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT (1940)
Johnny Jones: I'm in love with a girl, and I'm going to help hang her
 father.
@
#FORREST GUMP (1994)
{Repeated line}
Forrest Gump: Stupid is as stupid does.

{Repeated line}
Forrest's Mother: Life is like a box of chocolates, Forrest. You
 never know what you're gonna get.

Forrest Gump: Sometimes, there just aren't enough rocks.

Army Sergeant: Gump, what is your sole purpose in this army?
Forrest Gump: To do whatever you tell me, sir!
Army Sergeant: Gump, you are a @#$%&! genius...

{Repeated line}
Forrest Gump: We were like peas and carrots, Jenny and I.

{Forrest's repeated phrase at the end of recollections of particularly
 sensitive incidents}
Forrest Gump: That's all I have to say about that.

Forrest Gump: I'm sorry for ruining your party, Lieutenant Dan. She
 tasted of cigarettes.
@
#FORTY-SECOND STREET (1933)
Jerry: It seems that little Loraine's hit the bottle again.
Andy Lee: Yah, the peroxide bottle.

Loraine: You rember Annie?
Andy Lee: Anytime Annie. She only once said no, and then she didn't
 understand the question.

Dorothy Brock: Now go out there and be so swell that I'll hate you.

Julian Marsh: You're going out there a youngster, but you've *got* to
 come back a star!
@
#FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL (1994)
{Charles comes running after Carrie}
Charles: Ehm, look. Sorry, sorry. I just, ehm, well, this is a very
 stupid question and..., particularly in view of our recent shopping
 excursion, but I just wondered, by any chance, ehm, eh, I mean
 obviously not because I guess I've only slept with 9 people, but-but
 I-I just wonde red... ehh. I really feel, ehh, in short, to recap
 it slightly in a clearer version, eh, the words of David Cassidy in
 fact, eh, while he was still with the Partridge family, eh, "I think
 I love you", and eh, I-I just wondered by any chance you wouldn't
 like to... Eh... Eh... No, no, no of course not... I'm an idiot,
 he's not... Excellent, excellent, fantastic, eh, I was gonna say
 lovely to see you, sorry to disturb... Better get on...
Carrie: That was very romantic.
Charles: Well, I thought it over a lot, you know, I wanted to get it
 just right.
@
#FOX AND THE HOUND, THE (1981)
Young Copper: I'm a hound dog!
Young Todd: You're my best friend, copper.
Young Copper: and you're mine, too, Todd.
Young Todd: and we'll be friends forever.
Young Copper: yeah, forever.
@
#FRENZY (1972)
{Last line}
Inspector Oxford: Mr. Rusk, you're not wearing your tie.
@
#FRESHMAN, THE (1990)
Clark Kellogg: You lost my money on a horse?
Victor Ray: In retrospect I'm not even sure it was a horse.

Carmine Sabatini: Everything I say, by definition, is a promise.

Clark Kellogg: There's a kind of freedom in being completely screwed,
 because you know things can't possibly get any worse.
@
#FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE (1963)
James Bond: Pardon me, do you have a match?
Agent: I use a lighter.
James Bond: Better still.
Agent: Until they go wrong.
James Bond: Exactly.
@
#FUGITIVE, THE (1993)
U.S. Marshal Samuel Gerard: What are you doing?
Newman: I'm thinking.
U.S. Marshal Samuel Gerard: Well, think me up a cup of coffee and a
 chocolate doughnut with some of those little sprinkles on top, will
 you?

Cosmo Renfro: When I die, I'm gonna come back just like you.
U.S. Marshal Samuel Gerard: Oh, you mean happy and handsome?

Female Cop: Care to revise your statement, sir?
Prison Guard: What?
U.S. Marshal Samuel Gerard: Do you want to change your bullshit story,
 sir?

Dr. Richard Kimble: I didn't kill my wife!
U.S. Marshal Samuel Gerard: I don't care!

{Last line}
Dr. Richard Kimble: I thought you didn't care?
U.S. Marshal Samuel Gerard: I don't! {laughs} Don't tell anybody, OK?
@
#FULL METAL JACKET (1987)
Joker: A day without blood is like a day without sunshine.
@
#GARDEN OF ALLAH, THE (1936)
Domini Enfilden: What an extraordinary man. Is he mad?
Batouch: Yes, he's undoubtedly English.

Boris Androvsky: There are things in a man's life it's best to
 forget. There are dark places which should be left dark.

Father Roubier: Take care! You've come to a land of fire. And I think
 you are made of fire.
@
#GARDENS OF STONE (1987)
Col. Hazard: Opinions are like assholes - everyone seems to have one.
@
#GAY DIVORCEE, THE (1934)
Egbert Fitzgerald: Guy, you're not pining for that girl!
Guy Holden: Pining? Men don't pine. Girls pine. Men just... suffer.

Tonetti: You're wife is save with Tonetti, He prefers spaghetti
@
#GET CARTER (1971)
Jack Carter: You know, I'd almost forgotten what your eyes looked
 like. Still the same. Pissholes in the snow.

Jack Carter snaps fingers: A pint of bitter ... In a straight glass!

Jack Carter: You're a big man, but you're in bad shape.
@
#GETAWAY, THE (1994)
Doc McCoy: What happened to Hansen?
Rudy Travis: He didn't make it... And neither did you!
@
#GETTYSBURG (1993)
{Actual quote, to Confederate troops about to begin their attack of 3
 July}
Gen. Pickett: Up men, up! And let no man forget today that you are
 from old Virginia!

{Another actual quote}
Gen. Armistead: Virginians! Virginians! For your land -- for your
 homes -- for your sweethearts -- for your wives -- for Virginia!
 Forward... march!
@
#GHOST (1990)
Sam Wheat: It's amazing... The love inside, you take it with you.
@
#GHOST BREAKERS, THE (1940)
Geoff Montgomery: A zombie has no will of his own. You see them
 sometimes walking around blindly with dead eyes, following orders,
 not knowing what they do, not caring.
Larry Lawrence: You mean like Democrats.
@
#GHOST STORY (1981)
{Repeated line, including last}
Eva/Alma: I will take you places you've never been. I will show you
 things that you have never seen and I will see the life run out of
 you.
@
#GHOSTBUSTERS (1984)
Doctor Peter Venkman: I don't have to take this abuse from you -- I've
 got hundreds of people waiting to abuse me.

Doctor Peter Venkman: No job too big, no fee too big.

Doctor Peter Venkman: Back off man. I'm a scientist.

Doctor Peter Venkman: This chick is *toast*.

Doctor Peter Venkmann: Egon, this reminds me of that time you tried to
 drill a hole in your head.
Doctor Egon Spengler: That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.

Doctor Raymond Stantz: Well, this is great. If the ionization-rate is
 constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we can really bust some
 heads... in a spiritual sense of course.

Dean Yeager: This university will no longer continue any funding of
 any kind for your group's activities.
Doctor Peter Venkman: But the kids love us!

Dr. Peter Venkmann: Generally you don't see that kind of behaviour in
 major appliances.

Dana Barrett: That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.
Doctor Peter Venkman: What a crime.

{Doctor Peter Venkman is opening the refrigerator door to look for
 ghosts}
Doctor Peter Venkman: Oh my God! Look at all the junk food.

Doctor Peter Venkman: He slimed me!

Janine Melnitz: Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental
 telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic
 movement, full transmedium, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of
 Atlantis?
Winston Zeddmore: Ah, if there is a steady paycheck in it, I'll
 believe anything you tell me.

{The Gate Keeper, possessing Dana Barrett's body}
The Gate Keeper: Do you want this body?
Doctor Peter Venkman: Is this a trick question?

Winston Zeddmore: Do you believe in God?
Doctor Raymond Stantz: Never met him.

Winston Zeddmore: Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say
 YES!
@
#GHOSTBUSTERS II (1989)
Ray Stantz: You mean you never even had a Slinky?
Egon Spengler: We had part of a Slinky. But I straightened it.

Psychic: I have a strong psychic belief that the world will end on New
 Year's Eve.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, for your sake, I hope you're right.

Talk Show Guest: According to my source, the end of the world will be
 on February 14th, in the year two thousand and sixteen.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Valentine's day. Bummer.

{The Mayor's assistant has just been rude to Dr. Peter Venkman}
Dr. Peter Venkman: You know, I'm a voter. Aren't you supposed to lie
 to me and kiss my butt?

Dana: You're much better than you realize. You don't give yourself
 enough credit.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I need to hear that kind of stuff. You know, if I
 had this kind of stuff for like on a 24-hour basis, I could have
 myself whipped into shape by the end of this century.
@
#GILDED LILY, THE (1935)
Peter Dawes: But popcorn-- ah, popcorn was made for watching the world
 go by. Look. I stick my hand in the bag without taking my eyes off
 the street. I throw some popcorn in my craw. I chew...and I'm still
 looking. That's what I call class.
Marilyn David: Sure. Peanut eaters don't know how to live.

Marilyn David: Pete, you're a smart fellow. What do poor little
 working girls usually do next?
Peter Dawes: Well, they usually drown themselves, one way or the
 other.
Marilyn David: I'll take the other.
@
#GLADIATOR (1992)
Tommy Riley: I'm not too proud.
@
#GLEAMING THE CUBE (1989)
Brian Kelly: I guess we all do unexpected things sometimes, don't we?

Brian Kelly: Can I ask you something personal?
Tina Trac: Sure...
Brian Kelly: Where's the bathroom?
@
#GLEN OR GLENDA (1953)
Inspector: I'd like to hear the story to the fullest.
Psychiatrist: Only the infinity of the depths of a man's mind can
 really tell the story.
@
#GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS (1992)
Moss: That guy's a fuckin' asshole. Anybody who talks to that asshole
 is a fuckin' asshole.
@
#GOD'S ARMY (1994)
Lucifer: Heaven will become just another Hell, and that's just one too
 many.
@
#GODFATHER, THE (1972)
Clemenza: Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.

{After being asked how he will arrange to buy a hotel from Moe Greene}
Michael Corleone: I'll make him an offer he can't refuse.

{Speaking with the father of the girl he plans to marry, and after
 telling him that he's in hiding from some gangsters}
Michael Corleone: Some people will pay a lot of money for that
 information, but then your daugther would lose a father, instead of
 gaining a husband.

{After Fredo takes Moe Greene's side against Michael}
Michael Corleone: Fredo, you are my brother and I love you, but don't
 ever take sides against the family again. Ever.

Michael Corleone: It's not personal, Sonny. It's strictly business.
@
#GOIN' TO TOWN (1935)
Young Fellow: What excuse has a gal like you for runnin' around
 single?
Cleo Borden: Mmm, I was born that way.

Buck Gonzales: With any other dame, I wouldn't give a hoot. When it
 comes to you, I'm dynamite!
Cleo Borden: Yes, and I'm your match.

Buck Gonzales: You ain't scared of me 'cause they say I'm a bad man?
Cleo Borden: I'm a good woman for a bad man.

Cleo Borden: Cigarette me, Cossack.

Ivan Valadov: For one kiss of your lips I would give half of my life.
Cleo Borden: Oh, see me tomorrow, I'll kiss you twice.

{Cleo sings last lines}
Cleo Borden: But now I'm a lady / Come up and see me some time.
@
#GOLDFINGER (1964)
{A laser beam is slowly approaching a certain part of James Bond's
 body}
James Bond: Do you expect me to talk?
Auric Goldfinger: No Mr. Bond! I expect you to die!
@
#GONE WITH THE WIND (1939)
Scarlett O'Hara: Rhett... If you go ... where shall I go? What shall
 I do?
Rhett Butler: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Scarlett O'Hara: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady!

Scarlett O'Hara: And God is my witness, I will never be hungry again!

{Last line}
Scarlett O'Hara: After all ... tomorrow is another day.
@
#GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM (1987)
Adrian Cronauer: Mantovani? They feed Mantovani to insomniacs who
 don't respond to strong drugs!

Adrian Cronauer: Goooooooood morning, Vietnam! Hey, this is not a
 test! This is rock and roll! Time to rock it from the Delta to the
 D.M.Z.!

Lt. Steven Hauk: Furthermore, you are to stick to playing normal modes
 of music, not weird stuff. Those who we'd find acceptable here
 would include Lawrence Welk, Jim Nabors, Mantovani ...
Adrian Cronauer: ... Percy Faith ...
Lt. Steven Hauk: Percy Faith ... good! ... Andy Williams, Perry Como,
 and certain ballads by Mr. Frank Sinatra.
Adrian Cronauer: Would Bob Dylan be outta line?

{Lt. Steven Hauk uses Army jargon to refer to a press conference to be
 given by former Vice-President Nixon}
Adrian Cronauer: Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a
 V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? Cause of the leaks
 to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in
 K.P.

Edward Garlick: "Captain Hauk sucks the sweat off of a dead mans
 balls." I have no idea what that means, but it seems very negative
 to me.

Adrian Cronauer: You know, you're more in need of a blowjob than any
 other white man in the history of the human race.
@
#GOOD FAIRY, THE (1935)
Dr. Schultz: I see... and what is it you're looking for,
 Mr. Schlipkohl?
Schlapkohl: Schlapkohl. Usherettes! To show the customers to their
 seats. They wear gorgeous uniforms, I designed them myself. A big
 hussar's hat, a little cloak, and pants with...
Dr. Schultz (scandalized): Pants?
Schlapkohl: ...with stripes. Very effective.
Dr. Schultz: I dare say. The, uh, the pants, I mean, they're not too
 tight?
Schlapkohl: That depends entirely on the girls, the pants are all the
 same size.

Dr. Schultz: Would you like to be an usherette, Luisa?
Luisa: Oh, yes, ma'am.
Dr. Schultz: Do you know what an usherette is?
Luisa: N-n-no, ma'am.
Dr. Sporum: Never let it be said that a Sporum ever refused the
 request of a Ginglebusher.
@
#GOOD MORNING...AND GOODBYE! (1967)
Narrator: Angel, a monument to unholy carnality, and a cesspool of
 marital pollution, a shameless, brazen, bulldozing female prepared
 to humiliate, provoke, and tantalize, savagely seeking the
 tranquilizer of unrestrained fulfillment.

Angel: You read the profit and loss statements like a vulture, and you
 play the stock market like a fox, but you store your nuts away like
 a squirrel.
@
#GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY, THE (1966)
Tuco Benedicto Juan Ramirez aka "the Rat" to {Eastwood, Clint}: There
 are 2 kinds of people in the world, my friend: Those with a rope
 around the neck, and the people who have the job of doing the
 cutting...

{Tuco Benedicto Juan Ramirez aka "the Rat" is sitting in a bathtub
 with a lot of foam and the One Armed Man enters the room}
One Armed Man: I've been looking for you for 8 months. Whenever I
 should have had a gun in my right hand, I thought of you. Now I
 find you in exactly the position that suits me. I have lots of time
 to learn to shoot with my left.
{Tuco kills him with the gun he has hidden in the foam}
Tuco: When you have to shoot - shoot, don't talk.

{Eastwood, Clint} to Tuco Benedicto Juan Ramirez aka "the Rat": You
 see, in this world there's 2 kinds of people, my friend: Those with
 loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.
@
#GOODBYE GIRL, THE (1977)
Elliott Garfield: I play the guitar whenever I cannot sleep, and I
 meditate every morning, complete with chanting and burning incense,
 so if you have to walk around I'd appreciate a little tiptoeing.
 Also: I sleep in the nude. "Au buffo." Winter and summer, rain or
 snow, with the windows open. And because I may have to go to the
 potty or to the fridge in the middle of the night, and because I do
 not want to put on jammies which I do not own in the first place,
 unless you're looking for a quick thrill or your daughter an
 advanced education I'd keep my door closed.

Elliott Garfield: Miss McFadden, today I begin rehearsals for my first
 New York play. It will be the most important day of my life. Am I
 nervous? No, I am not nervous. For I have meditated. I am
 relaxed. I am calm. I am confident. You, on the other hand, have
 not mediatated, and therefore you are a pain in the ass.
@
#GOODFELLAS (1990)
Henry Hill: As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a
 gangster.

{With the suitcase open on the desk, Henry counts out stacks of cash}
Henry Hill: Thirty-five, forty, forty-five, fifty, sixty thousand.
Jimmy Two times: It's gonna be a good summer.

{Henry, Jimmy and Tommy are digging with shovels to find Batts'
 corpse. Henry is sickened by the stench, but the others don't
 appear to be bothered}
Tommy DeVito: Hey Henry, Henry, hurry up will you? My mother's gonna
 make some fried peppers and sausage for us. Oh hey, Henry, Henry.
 Here's an arm.
Henry Hill: Very funny, guys.
Tommy DeVito: Hey, here's a leg. Here's a wing. {He laughs} Hey,
 what do you like, the leg or the wing, Henry? Or do you still go
 for the old hearts and lungs?
{Henry vomits}

Henry Hill (voice-over): Anything I wanted was a phone call away.
 Free cars. The keys to a dozen hideout flats all over the city. I
 bet twenty, thirty grand over a weekend and then I'd either blow the
 winnings in a week or go to the sharks to pay back the bookies.
{Henry leaves the witness stand and speaks directly to the camera}
Henry: Didn't matter. It didn't mean anything. When I was broke, I'd
 go out and rob some more. We ran everything. We paid off cops. We
 paid off lawyers. We paid off judges. Everybody had their hands
 out. Everything was for the taking. And now it's all over.
Henry Hill (voice-over): That's the hardest part. Today everything is
 different. There's no action. I have to wait around like everyone
 else. Can't even get decent food. Right after I got here I ordered
 some spaghetti with marinara sauce and I got egg noodles and
 ketchup. I'm an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life
 like a schnook.
@
#GOTCHA! (1985)
Sasha: You must be Manolo.
Manolo: You must be Sasha.
Jonathan: You must be going.
@
#GRAND CANYON (1991)
Davis: We're talking about a religious experience here. I might say
 'doth' or 'thou' or a lot of things.

Davis: All of life's riddles are answered in the movies.
@
#GREAT TRAIN ROBBERY, THE (1979)
{first line}
Edward Pierce {narration}: In the year 1855, England and France were
 at war with Russia in the Crimea. The English troops were paid in
 gold. Once a month, twenty-five thousand pounds in gold was loaded
 into strongboxes inside the London bank of Huddleston and Bradford
 and taken by trusted armed guards to the railway station. The
 convoy followed no fixed route or timetable. At the station, the
 gold was loaded into the luggage van of the Folkeston train for
 shipment to the coast and from there to the Crimea. The strongboxes
 were placed into two specially-built Chubb safes constructed of
 three-quarter inch tempered steel. Each safe weighed five hundred
 and fifty pounds. Each safe was fitted with two locks, requiring
 two keys, or four keys altogether. For security, each key was
 individually protected. Two keys were entrusted to the railway
 dispatcher who kept the m locked in his office. A third was in the
 custody of Mr. Edgar Trent, president of the Huddleston and
 Bradford. And the fourth key was given to Mr. Henry Fowler,
 manager of the Huddleston and Bradford. The presence of so much
 gold in one place naturally aroused the interest of the English
 criminal elements. But in 1855 there had never been a robbery from
 a moving railway train.

Edward Pierce: I've just returned from America, a country of many
 prominent erections.
@
#GROUNDHOG DAY (1993)
Rita: Would you like to come to dinner with Larry and me?
Phil Connors: No thank you. I've seen Larry eat.

Phil Connors: So, did you sleep OK without me? You tossed and turned,
 didn't you?
Rita: You're incredible.
Phil Connors: Who told you?

Phil Connors: Do you ever have deja vu Mrs Lancaster?
Mrs Lancaster: I don't think so, but I could check with the kitchen.

Phil Connors: Can I be serious with you with you for a minute?
Rita: I don't know. Can you?

{It's Phil Connors' second Groundhog Day in a row, but the rest of the
 people seem to have completely forgotten yesterday}
Phil Connors: Well, it's groundhog day... again.

Phil Connors: Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one
 today!

Phil Connors: Can I talk to you about a matter that is not
 work-related?
Rita: You never talk about work.

Phil Connors: What would you do if you were stuck in one place and
 every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?
Ralph: That about sums it up for me.

{Phil Connors drives (because Ralph and Gus are drunk) right through a
 mailbox}
Gus: Hey Phil, if we wanted to hit mailboxes we could let Ralph drive.

Phil Connors: It's the same things your whole life. "Clean up your
 room!", "Stand up straight!", "Pick up your feet!", "Take it like a
 man!", "Be nice to your sister!", "Don't mix beer and wine, ever!".
 Oh yeah, "Don't drive on the railroad track!"
Gus: Eh, Phil. That's one I happen to agree with.

{Phil Connors is stopped by the police after some crazy driving}
Phil Connors: Yeah, 3 cheeseburgers, 2 large fries, 2 chocolate shakes
 and a large coke.

Phil Connors: There is no way this winter is EVER going to end as long
 as that groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don't see any way out
 of it. He's got to be stopped. And I have to stop him.

Piano Teacher: Not bad... Mr. Connors, you say this is your first
 lesson?
Phil Connors: Yes, but my father was a piano *mover*, so...

Rita: Have you ever had deja vu?
Phil Connors: Didn't you just ask me that?

Rita: What did you do today?
Phil connors: Oh, same-old same-old.

Felix's Wife: Dr. Connors. I want to thank you for fixing Felix's
 back. He can even help around the house again.
Phil Connors: I'm sorry to hear that, Felix.
@
#GRUMPY OLD MEN (1993)
Max: Eat my shorts.
@
#GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER (1967)
{Last line and Spencer Tracy's last movie line}
Matt Drayton: Well Tillie, when the hell are we going to get some
 dinner?
@
#GUILTY AS SIN (1993)
David Greenhill: ..see people like us Miriam, we're ... we're warm;
 but she's a ... she's an attorney.
@
#HANDS ACROSS THE TABLE (1935)
Laura: Yeah, and maybe here's that ten million dollars you've been
 dreaming about.
Regi: The way I feel today, I'd settle for a million.

Regi: You must have a lot of friends that could give you a job.
Ted: That'd be a fine friend who'd give you a job. No friend of mine
 had better try anything like that on me.
@
#HARD TO KILL (1990)
Mason Storm: This is for my wife. Fuck you and die!
@
#HARD WAY, THE (1991)
Nick Lang: Ever killed anybody?
John Moss: Counting today?
Nick Lang: C'mon John. Look, my character kills this guy. It's
 probably an innocent by-stander. I just want to know what that's
 like.
John Moss: You can't. Not by asking someone.
Nick Lang: Will you open up? I just want to know what it feels like
 to be inside your skin.
John Moss: I DON'T WANT YOU INSIDE MY SKIN, YOU UNDERSTAND? It's
 private! What's in there belongs to me! You're not gonna learn
 what it means to be a cop by eating hot dogs and picking your teeth
 and asking stupid questions. We live this job. It's something we
 are, not something we do! Every time a cop walks up to a car and
 has to give a speeding ticket, he know he may have to kill someone
 or be killed himself. That's not something you step into by
 strapping on a rubber gun and riding around all day. You get to go
 back to your million dollar beach house and your bimbos and your
 blow jobs and you get 17 takes to get it right. We get one take.
 It lasts our whole lives. We mess it up and we're dead.
Nick Lang picking up a tape recorder: Fuck was that great! John.
 Look. Can you just say that one more time for me, please? John.

{After being shot in the chest}
Nick Lang: Oh man, this is too real....
@
#HARVEY (1950)
Elwood P. Dowd: My mother used to say to me, "Elwood" - she always
 called me Elwood - "Elwood, in this world you must be oh-so clever,
 or oh-so pleasant." For years I was clever. I'd recommend pleasant
 - and you may quote me.
@
#HAUNTING, THE (1963)
Theodora: Haven't you noticed how nothing in this house seems to move
 until you look away and then you just...catch something out of the
 corner of your eye?
@
#HAVE HIS CARCASE (1988) (TV)
Harriet: I shall have to get a better evening frock.
Peter: Buy a wine-coloured one. I've always longed to see you in wine
 color. {exits through the revolving door}
Harriet: Peter! {he revolves right back through}
Peter: Yes?
Harriet: Port or burgundy?--The frock?
Peter: Oh! Claret. Chateau-Margeaux '93 or thereabouts. I'm not
 particular, within a year or two.

{after finding a vital clue on the beach}
Peter: I could kiss you for it!
Harriet: I think you're becoming a little intoxicated in the moment of
 the discovery.
Peter: You need not shrink or tremble. When I kiss you, it will be an
 event, like one's first taste of lychee. Not a casual adjunct to a
 piece of detectin'.
Harriet: Certainly. Kisses, like wine, should be allowed to mature.
 Preferably over a period or years.
@
#HAVING WONDERFUL CRIME (1945)
Helene: Not so fast, my skirt's too tight!
Jake: Oh, I told you you didn't know how to dress for a murder.
@
#HE MARRIED HIS WIFE (1940)
Bill Carter: If you never saw him before, why'd you let him kiss you?
Ethel Hillary: Well, after all, Bill, there is such a thing as
 hospitality.
@
#HEAD (1968)
Frank Zappa: That music was pretty white.
Davy Jones: So am I, what can I tell you?
@
#HEARTBREAKERS (1984)
Blue: How do you like my paintings?
Liliane: You reduce women to objects.
Blue: That's called art.
@
#HEATHERS (1989)
Heather (McNamara): Suicide is a private thing.
Veronica Sawyer: Your throwing your life away to become a statistic on
 U. S. fucking A. Today; that's about the least private thing I can
 think of.

Heather Chandler: They all want me as a friend or a fuck. I'm
 worshiped at Westerburg and I'm only a junior.

Veronica Sawyer: This may seem like a really stupid question...
Jason Dean: There *are* no stupid questions.
Veronica Sawyer: You inherit 5 million dollars the same day aliens
 land on the earth and say they will blow it up in 2 days. What do
 you do?
Jason Dean: That's the stupidest question I've ever heard.

Courtney: If I got that money, I'd give it all to the homeless. Every
 cent.
Veronica Sawyer: You're beautiful.

Jason Dean: The extreme always seems to make an impression.

Veronica Sawyer: I say we just grow up, be adults and die.

Veronica Sawyer: All we want is to be treated like human beings, not
 to be experimented on like guinea pigs or patronized like bunny
 rabbits.
Veronica's Dad: I don't patronize bunny rabbits!

Jason Dean: Seven schools in seven states and the only thing different
 is my locker combination.

Veronica Sawyer: If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't
 be a human being. You'd be a game-show host.

Veronica Sawyer: Heather, why are you such a mega-bitch?
Heather Duke: Because I can be.

Jason Dean: Wanna go out tonight? Catch a movie? Miniature golf?
Veronica Sawyer: I was thinking more along the lines of slitting
 Heather Duke's wrists open, making it look like suicide.
Jason Dean: Ah, now you're talking. I can be up for that. I've
 already started underlining meaningful passages in her copy of Moby
 Dick, if you know what I mean?

Veronica Sawyer: My teenage angst bullshit now has a body count.

Jason Dean: The only place different social types can genuinely get
 along with each other is in heaven.

Veronica: I just killed my best friend!
J.D.: And your worst enemy.
Veronica: Does that matter?

Veronica: She's my best friend. God, I hate her.

Veronica after she shoots J.D.: I blow guys like you out of my life.

Heather Duke: Veronica, you look like hell.
Veronica: Thanks, I just got back.

Hippie Teacher/Counselor: Whether or not a teenager decides to kill
 themselves is the biggest decision of their life.

Veronica Sawyer: Heather, my dear, there's a new sheriff in town.
@
#HEAVEN CAN WAIT (1978)
Mr. Jordan: He's been drugged by those two downstairs. This is a
 murder. See how he's slowly sliding into the water?
@
#HEAVENLY CREATURES
Pauline Parker: She is the most unreasonable... Why could not mother
 die? Dozens of people are dying all the time, thousands, so why not
 mother... and father too.
@
#HELLBOUND (1993)
{Calvin Jackson is examining a body}
Calvin Jackson: Oh shit! His heart's gone!
{Frank Shatter reassuringly, pointing to a corner of the room}
Frank Shatter: No it isn't. It's right there...
@
#HELLO, DOLLY! (1969)
Dolly Levy: And, late at night, when it's cold, Horace, you can
 snuggle up to your cash register. It's a little lumpy, but it
 rings!
@
#HERCULES IN NEW YORK (1970)
Hercules: Hercules has no need of money!
@
#HERO (1992)
Bernie LaPlante: You gotta look out for Goddamn number-one,
 pardon-the-vulgarity.

TV Exec(uncredited): What a crock o' shit. Have you ever heard more
 bullshit or drivel coming from somebody who is not even the
 president?

Bernie LaPlante: Prisons are for tough guys ... prisons are for guys
 who beat each other up, lift weights ... fuck each other.
@
#HIGH ANXIETY (1977)
{Dr. Thorndyke brushes his teeth}
Dr. Richard H. Thorndyke: Up and down. Up and down. Side side side
 side side. In and out, in and out, side side side side side.
@
#HIGH PLAINS DRIFTER (1972)
Sarah Belding to the Stranger: You're the sort of a man that makes
 people afraid.
Stranger: Why, it's what people hide inside that makes them afraid.
@
#HIGH SIERRA (1941)
Roy Earle: I wouldn't give you two cents for a dame without a temper.
@
#HIGHLANDER (1986)
{Just before the MacLeod clan goes to war}
Kate: Angus, you'll keep him in one piece, ya hear?
Dugal MacLeod: And we all know what piece that is!

Ramirez: Why does the sun come up, or are the stars just pinholes in
 the curtain of night?

Ramirez: If your head comes away from your neck, it's over!

Kurgan to Ramirez: Tonight you sleep in hell.

Candy: Hi, I'm Candy.
Kurgan: Of course you are...

Kurgan: Forgive me father, I am a worm...

Kurgan: Nuns. No sense of humor.

Kurgan: It's better to burn out, than to fade away!

Kurgan: So now it ends...

{Repeated line by Ramirez, The Kurgan and Connor MacLeod}
Connor MacLeod: There can be only one!

{After he is shot by the German officer}
Conner MacLeod to Rachel: Hey, it's a kind of magic.

{Looking at the body lying next to its head}
Garfield: What do you think the cause of death was, Lieutenant?

Connor MacLeod: You only have one life! Value it!
@
#HIGHWAY 61 (1991)
Pokey Jones: I never left home, but I know every inch of this
 highway. I know it inside out. Ask me a question if you like: ask me
 anything.
Jackie Bangs: Do you wanna have sex with me?
Pokey: What?
Jackie: Do you wanna have sex?
Pokey: No, I'm fine, thank you.

Jackie Bangs: Now I know why they call you Pokey.
Pokey Jones: Now I know why they call you Bangs.

Bingo Angry Woman: He must be cheating that's how.
Mr. Skin (A.K.A. Satan): Lady, you can't cheat at bingo. If you
 could, I would, but you can't. I won because I was lucky--lucky to
 wind up in a town full of losers!
@
#HIS GIRL FRIDAY (1940)
Walter Burns: Look Hildy, I only acted like any husband that didn't
 want his home broken up.
Hildy Johnson: What home?
Walter Burns: "What home"??? Don't you remember the home I promised
 you?
@
#HITCHER, THE (1986)
{John Ryder is being interrogated by the police}
Interrogation Sergeant: What's your name? Come on. What's your name?
 Do you have a name? Do you have a police record? Where are you
 from?
John Ryder: Disneyland.
@
#HITLER GANG, THE (1944)
Rvhm: Gerlich has shot himself.
Streicher: He's the first man who shot himself in the head six times.
@
#HOLD BACK THE DAWN (1941)
Georges Iscovescu: Your husband?
Anita Dixon: No. No, Shaughnessy was a jockey from Caliente. Five foot
 three. Once over the border, I went to a judge. I said, a woman
 wants a man, not a radiator cap! Divorce granted, fifty dollars.

Anita Dixon: All those years with all the others, I've shut my eyes
 and thought of you.

Inspector Hammock: I'll be the doggonedest dog to end all doggoned
 dogs! Maybe I'm just dumb.
@
#HOLIDAY (1938)
Johnny Case: When I find myself in a position like this, I ask myself
 what would General Motors do? ...and then I do the opposite!
@
#HOLLYWOOD SHUFFLE (1987)
The guy from the dirty Larry Clip: What you say, honky sucker pig head
 jive turkey fool?

{Robert Townsend}: I believe this movie. A dude could jump off a
 mountain and not hurt himself, cause he did brace himself. And knew
 something about the levels of gravitivity and polarity.
@
#HOOK (1991)
Peter Banning: I'm not a pirate! It so happens that I am a lawyer.

Captain Hook: I hate, I hate, I HATE Peter Pan!
@
#HOORAY FOR LOVE (1935)
Pat: Oh, I hate the country. I'm afraid of the wildflowers.
@
#HOPSCOTCH (1980)
Myerson: Now I know what the FBI stands for. `Fucking, Ball-busting
 Imbeciles'!
@
#HORN BLOWS AT MIDNIGHT, THE (1945)
Athanael: What are they supposed to be doing?
Maitre d': I wouldn't know, sir; they call it dancing.
Athanael: I must tell St. Vitus about this.
@
#HOT DOG...THE MOVIE (1984)
Race Official: And now for the rules of the International, Chinese
 downhill: There are none.
@
#HOT SHOTS! (1991)
Officer: I don't care how many missions you've flown! I don't care
 how good you think you are! You're nobody, and for the next 10 days
 - nobody takes a crap unless I say so! Got it?

Topper Harley: Those are some long legs...
Ramada: I just had them lengthened. Now they go all the way up.

{Admiral Benson comes into the briefing room in riding pants}
Admiral Benson: Be seated! Ah... Many of you are wondering what's
 wrong with my pants, well they started running short on materials
 right before they got to the knees so don't give me any shit. Ah.
 I look out there on all you wonderful guys and I say to myself "What
 I wouldn't give to be 20 years younger ... and a woman". You know,
 I've personally flown over 194 missions and I was shot down on every
 one. Come to think of it, I've never landed a plane in my life.

Kent Gregory: Hey everybody. Drinks are on me.

Topper Harley: So ... I guess you've been with a man before...
Ramada: I'm a virgin. I'm just not very good at it.

Ship Commander: Admiral Benson!
Admiral Benson: Really? That's my name too.

Reporter: Hey Topper Harley, now that you've killed the bad guy and
 made the world safe for democracy, what are you going to do to catch
 in on your new found fame?
Topper Harley: I'm goin' to Disneyland.

Admiral Benson: You risked the lives of some damn fine pilots ... and
 that's my job!
@
#HOTEL DU NORD (1938)
Raymonde: Atmosphere, atmosphere, est-ce que j'ai une gueule
 d'atmosphere ?
@
#HOW TO MARRY A MILLIONAIRE (1953)
{Referring to older men marrying young women}
{Bacall, Lauren}: Look at Roosevelt, look at Churchill, look at old
 fella what's his name in The African Queen.
@
#HUDSON HAWK (1991)
Darwin Mayflower: I'll torture you so slowly, you'll think it's a
 career.
@
#HUDSUCKER PROXY, THE (1994)
Norville Barnes: You know, for kids.

Amy Archer: Norville Barnes, you don't know a thing about that woman.
 You don't know who she really is. Only a knumbskull thinks he knows
 things about things he knows nothing about.
@
#HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER, THE (1990)
Jeffrey Pelt: Listen; I'm a politician which means I'm a cheat and a
 liar, and when I'm not kissing babies I'm stealing their lollipops.
 But ... it also means I keep my options open...

Captain: What's his plan?
Jack Ryan: His plan?
Captain: Russians don't take a dump, son, without a plan...

Captain Mancuso: Central Intelligence Agency... Now, there's a
 contradiction in terms.

Jack Ryan: I'm not an agent, I just write books for the CIA.

Marko Ramius: Ryan, be careful what you shoot at. Most things in here
 don't react too well to bullets.
Jack Ryan: Yeah, like me. I don't react well to bullets.
@
#I COME IN PEACE (1990)
{After blowing away the police chief, who was trying to kill his
 partner}
Jack Caine to Laurence Smith: Never trust nobody; Caine Manual,
 Chapter 1, Page 1.
@
#I LOVE YOU TO DEATH (1990)
Marlon: If we're gonna waste the dude, we oughta get paid for it. I
 mean, that's the American way, ain't it?
@
#I MARRIED A WITCH (1942)
Jennifer: 'Twould be nice to have lips... lips to whisper lies... lips
 to kiss man and make him suffer. Father, why cannot I have lips,
 and eyes, and hair?

Daniel (sings): For tonight I merry merry be / Tomorrow I'll be sober.

Wallace Wooley: I'm afraid you've got a hangover.
Daniel: Don't tell me what I've got! I invented the hangover. It was
 in 1892... B.C.
@
#I'LL TAKE SWEDEN (1965)
{Upon seeing Erik's Volkswagen}
Holcomb: Maybe we had better put the car in our luggage.
@
#I'M NO ANGEL (1933)
{West, Mae}: It's not the men in your life, it's the life in your men
 that counts.
@
#IMPROMPTU (1991)
Chopin: Madam Sond, rumor has it you are a woman, so I must ask you to
 leave my room at once!
@
#IN THE LINE OF FIRE (1993)
Lilly Raines: What makes you think he'll call back?
Frank Horrigan: Oh, he'll call back. He's got "panache".
Lilly Raines: Panache?
Frank Horrigan: Yeah, it means flamboyance.
Lilly Raines: I know what it means.
Frank Horrigan: Really? I had to look it up...

Mitch Leary: Watching the President, I couldn't help wondering why a
 man like you would risk his life to save a man like that. You have
 such a strange job. I can't decide if it's heroic or absurd.
Frank Horrigan: Now, why would a man like you risk his life to kill a
 man like that?

Sam Campagna: Frank, The President sent his limo for you.
Lilly Raines: Well, that's the least he could do.
Frank Horrigan: Good, I love public transportation.
@
#IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS (1995)
Sutter Cane: Did I ever tell you my favorite color is blue?
@
#IN-LAWS, THE (1979)
Vince Ricardo: I'm such a good driver, it's *incomprehensible* they
 took my license away.

Sheldon Kornpett: I have flames on my car. I HAVE FLAMES ON MY CAR!
@
#INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE (1989)
Indiana Jones: I'm like a bad penny, I always turn up.

{Indiana Jones is asking Henry how he could've slept with Elsa}
Henry: I'm as human as the next man.
Indiana Jones: Dad, I was the next man!

{Henry, Indiana Jones, and Sallah are discussing why Henry calls Indy
 'Junior'}
Indiana Jones: I like 'Indiana'.
Henry: We named the *dog* 'Indiana'.
@
#INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM (1984)
Short Round: What is Sankara?
Indiana Jones: Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory.

Indiana Jones: Nothing shocks me. I'm a scientist.

Willie Scott: You're gonna get killed chasing after your damn fortune
 and glory!
Indiana Jones: Maybe. But not today.
@
#INNOCENT BLOOD (1992)
{Marie, a vampire, after seeing Mafia types in the paper}
Marie: I was sad, I was starved. It was time to treat myself. Then I
 though - "What about..Italian!"
@
#INTERNATIONAL HOUSE (1933)
Nurse Allen on phone: No, the doctor isn't in just now. Oh, he won't
 be back for a long, long time. He went out on one of those eternity
 cases.

Peggy: Won't you join me in a glass of wine?
Professor Quail: You get in first, and if there's room enough I'll
 join you.

{Peggy finds a litter of assorted kittens on her seat}
Peggy: I wonder what their parents were.
Professor Quail: Careless, my little dove cake, careless.
@
#INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (1994)
Claudia to Lestat: Goodnight sweet prince and may flights of devils
 sing you to your rest.

Claudia to Louis: Who will take care of me my love, my dark angel,
 when you are gone?
@
#INTO THE NIGHT (1985)
Ed Okin: Are we under arrest or what?
FBI Agent: I think you fall into the 'or what' category.
@
#INTO THE WOODS (1990) (TV)
Prince Charming: I was raised to be charming. Not sincere.
@
#INVASION OF THE SAUCER MEN (1957)
Joan: I expected to be frightened on my wedding night, but nothing
 like this.

Colonel: Our job is to prevent a possible nation-wide panic by keeping
 the information from the public.
@
#IT CONQUERED THE WORLD (1956)
{At the end}
Paul Nelson: Man is a feeling creature, and because of it the greatest
 in the universe. He learned too late for himself that men have to
 find their own way, to make their own mistakes. There can't be any
 gift of perfection from outside ourselves. When men seek such
 perfection they find only death, fire, loss, disillusionment and the
 end of everything that's gone forward. Men have always sought an
 end to our misery but it can't be given, it has to be achieved.
 There is hope, but it has to come from inside, from Man himself.
@
#IT SHOULDN'T HAPPEN TO A DOG (1946)
Joe Parelli: What's the matter, mister? Married?
Henry Barton: No... too much plutonium.
Joe Pirelli: Plu...ton...? Myself, I never use it.
@
#IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946)
George Bailey: You call this a happy family? Why do we have to have
 all these kids?

Clarence: You've been given a great gift, George. A chance to see
 what the world would be like without you.

Clarence: You see, George, you really have had a wonderful life.

Zuzu Bailey: Daddy, teacher says every time a bell rings an angel gets
 its wings.
@
#ITALIAN JOB, THE (1969)
{Freddie blows up a truck}
Charlie: You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
@
#JACKSON COUNTY JAIL (1976)
Dinah Hunter: They're gonna kill you!
Coley Blake: That don't matter. I was born dead.
@
#JAWS (1975)
Hooper: This was no boating accident!

Brody: It's only an island if you look at it from the water.

Hooper: Mr. Vaughan, what we are dealing with here is a perfect
 engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of
 evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little
 sharks and that's all.

Brody: Slow ahead ... I can go slow ahead ... come on down here and
 chum some of this shit...

Brody: You're gonna need a bigger boat.
@
#JERK, THE (1979)
Navin R. Johnson: I know we've only known each other 4 weeks and 3
 days, but to me it seems like 9 weeks and 5 days.
@
#JOHNNY DANGEROUSLY (1984)
Danny Vermin: I got something to stop him.
Dutch: They made it for him special. It's an .88 Magnum
Danny Vermin: It shoots through schools.

Ma Kelly: The Lower East Side... this really sucks.

Ma Kelly: I know what you can't say. You wanna get laid. You wanna
 hump your brains out. Vavoom, vavoom, vavoom!!

Lil: And shelf paper! Oh, Johnny, I *love* shelf paper!
@
#JUNGLE FEVER (1991)
Charlie Tucci: Are you fucking my sister?
Paulie Carbone: What kind of question is that?
Charlie Tucci: It's a good question.

Lou Carbone: If your mother was alive ... she would turn over in her
 grave!

Lou Carbone: You hate your own father!
Paulie Carbone: I'd like to kill you, but I don't hate you.
@
#JURASSIC PARK (1993)
{Repeated line}
John Hammond: I spared no expenses.

{Ian Malcolm walks up to a huge mound of dino-droppings}
Ian Malcolm: Now that's one big pile of shit!

{Dr. Ellie Sattler has dug through a pile of dino-droppings with her
 hands}
Ian Malcolm: You will remember to wash your hands before you eat
 anything?

Lex: It's a UNIX system! I know this!!!

Ian Malcolm: God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God
 creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs...
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth...

Ian Malcolm: God help us; we're in the hands of engineers.

{After being chased by the T-Rex}
Ian Malcolm: You think they'll have that on the tour?

Ian Malcolm: Yes, John. But when the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks
 down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.

{Upon realizing that the park is out of control}
Ian Malcolm: I hate it when I'm always right.
@
#JUST ONE OF THE GUYS (1985)
Terry: You know, sometimes I just wish I was a guy.
Buddy: No you don't! The male body needs sex at all times! It's a
 living hell!

{Buddy is trying to show Terry how to act like a guy by getting her to
 scratch her "balls". She's not doing too good a job at it}
Terry: Look, maybe my balls don't itch.
Buddy: All balls itch! It's a fact!

Terry: I'm just so confused.
Buddy: Of course you're confused. You're wearing my underwear.
@
#KANSAS CITY PRINCESS (1934)
Marie Callahan: Now get this and get it straight. A girl's got to have
 three things nowadays: money, jack, and dough! 'Bout time you
 learned it.
@
#KARATE KID, THE (1984)
Mr. Miyagi: No such thing, bad student. Only bad teacher.
@
#KELLY'S HEROES (1970)
{Oddball sees that the bridge he wants to cross is intact and is
 pleased with himself}
Oddball: Still up!
{A plane flies over the bridge and bombs it.. direct hit}
Oddball: No it ain't.

Oddball: Arf arf arf... That's my other dog impression.

{The lone obstacle to the sought-after gold is a solitary tank
 guarding the bank.}
Crapgame: Try making a DEAL!
Big Joe: What kind of DEAL?
Crapgame: A DEAL, deal! Maybe he's a Republican. You know, "Business
 is Business."
@
#KIDS (1995)
Casper: When you are young, not much matters.
@
#KILLER, THE (1989)
Jeffrey: I always leave one bullet, either for myself of for my enemy.
@
#KILLERS, THE (1946)
Reardon: Good morning, Stella.
Stella: Good morning, dream boy.

Kitty Collins: I'm poison, Swede, to myself and everybody around me.
@
#KIND HEARTS AND CORONETS (1949)
{Louis Mazzini just murdered his relative, Lady Agatha D'Ascoyne, who
 was distributing suffragette literature from a balloon over London}
Louis Mazzini: I shot an arrow in the air; She fell to earth in
 Berkeley Square.

Hangman: Even my lamented master, the great Mr. Benny himself, never
 had the privilege of hanging a duke. What a finale to a lifetime in
 the public service!
Prison Governor: Finale?
Hangman: Yes, I intend to retire. After using the silken rope
 ... never again be content with the hemp.
Louis Manzinni: While I never admired Edith as much as when I was with
 Sibella, I never longed for Sibella as much as when I was with
 Edith.
@
#KING OF COMEDY, THE (1983)
Secretary: Is {Mr. Langford} expecting you?
Rupert Pupkin: Yes, I don't think he is.

Rupert Pupkin: Better to be a king for a night than a schmuck for a
 lifetime.
@
#KLONDIKE ANNIE (1936)
{West, Mae}: Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I
 never tried.
@
#KUFFS (1992)
George Kuffs: I got women to do, places to see!

{At the Police Academy}
George Kuffs: Why are we doing so much running? Aren't we all going
 to be in cars?

George Kuffs: I'm looking for a really big gun which holds a lot of
 bullets.
Gun Salesman: God bless you, young man.
George Kuffs to the camera: I always wanted a gun...
Gun Salesman: Is this what you had in mind? It's a 9mm Beretta. 15
 in the clip, 1 in the pipe.
George Kuffs: Got one that holds more?
Gun Salesman: No.
George Kuffs: I'll take two.

Ted Bukovsky: Next time shit before you sign in. Shit! Sign in! In
 the car!
George Kuffs: Am I gonna be tested on this later?

Ted Bukovsky: Now, if I'm gonna be killed on the job, it's gonna be by
 a fucking bullet, not a fucking bus. Now turn this fucking car
 around and let's get back on your fucking patrol.
George Kuffs: You may have a limited vocabulary, Ted.
Ted Bukovsky: Fuck you!

George Kuffs: What can they possibly see in a man who dresses that
 badly???
@
#L.A. STORY (1991)
Trudi: Sheila has been studying the art of conversation.
Harris K. Telemacher: Oh, you're taking a course in conversation?
Sheila: Yes.
{Long pause}

Sara McDowel: I keep thinking I'm a grown up, but I'm not.

Guy with neck-support: I'll have a decaf coffee.
Trudi: I'll have a decaf espresso.
Movie critic: I'll have a double decaf cappuccino.
Policeman: Give me decaffeinated coffee icecream.
Harris K. Telemacher: I'll have a half double decaffeinated half-caf,
 with a twist of lemon.
Trudi: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Guy with neck-support: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Movie critic: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Negro woman: I'll have a twist of lemon.

Harris K. Telemacher: So, I'll see you Sunday?
Trudi: I got a shower Sunday.
Harris K. Telemacher: Oh yeah, and I really should take a bath...
 Monday?

Harris K. Telemacher: Hello, this is Harris. I'm in right now, so you
 can talk to me in person. Please start talking at the sound of the
 beep.
{BEEP}
Sara McDowel: ... Hello?
Harris K. Telemacher: Hello.
Sara McDowel: ... Hello?
Harris K. Telemacher: Hello.
Sara McDowel: Is this a person?
Harris K. Telemacher: Yes it is a person.

Road Sign: There are more things n heaven and earth than are dreamt of
 n your philosophy.

{Repeated line}
Sara McDowel: Let your mind go and your body will follow.

Harris K. Telemacher: Ordinarily, I don't like to be around
 interesting people because it means I have to be interesting too.
Sara McDowel: Are you saying I'm interesting?
Harris K. Telemacher: All I'm saying is that, when I'm around you, I
 find myself showing off, which is the idiot's version of being
 interesting.

Bob: Hi. My name is Bob. I'll be your robber.
Harris K. Telemacher hands him the money: Hi, how are you?
Bob: Thank you very much.

Harris: There's someone out there for everyone - even if you need a
 pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.

{Harris picks up the ringing phone}
Harris: Hello, this is Harris. I'm at home right now, so you can talk
 to me in person. Please start talking at the beep.
{beep}

{Sara McDowel asks Harris when the right time for low, sustained,
 booming noises were in L.A. We later find out she plays tuba}
Harris: Ah - low, sustained, booming noises. Nine, nine-fifteen.

Harris: SanDeE*, your breasts - they feel strange.
SanDeE*: Oh, that's 'cause they're real.

Harris to SanDeE*: Well, thank you for a lovely lunch and enema.

Harris: Well, maybe you think it's intellectual because you were
 raised with a banana and an inner tube... This is an
 intellectual-free zone.

Harris: I could never be a woman. If I were, I would do nothing but
 sit at home all day playing with my breasts.
@
#LADIES THEY TALK ABOUT (1933)
{Nan calculatingly exposes her legs}
District Attorney: You're wasting that panorama on me, Nan. Save it
 for Dave Slade.

Susie: Say, there isn't any punishment bad enough for you!
Nan Taylor: Yeah? Well, being penned up here with a daffodil like you
 comes awful close.

Mustard: I'm not 'fraid of nobody in this jail. I'm doin' life and
 that's all I got.
@
#LADY VANISHES, THE (1938)
Iris Henderson: I've no regrets. I've been everywhere and done
 everything. I've eaten caviar at Cannes, sausage rolls at the dogs.
 I've played baccarat at Biarritz and darts with the rural dean.
 What is there left for me but marriage?
@
#LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM, THE (1988)
Lady Silvia Marsh: To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune.
 To lose both looks like carelessness.
@
#LAND UNKNOWN, THE (1957)
Cmdr. Harold Roberts: We'll find the wreck without your help.
Dr. Carl Hunter: Maybe you will if you aren't trampled to death first
 or eaten alive or die of starvation. Wait till the Antarctic night
 comes and for nine months the black air hangs round you like a
 rotten rag and your eyes are blinded from the dark and from your own
 sweat, and you lose each other - and you're alone - alone. Do you
 hear me? ...Always alone!
@
#LASSIE COME HOME (1943)
Lassie: Woof woof woof woof woof.
@
#LAST ACTION HERO (1993)
{First line}
Dekker: This is one hell of a way to spend Christmas...

{Jack Slater is Hamlet}
Hamlet: Hey Claudius! You killed my father! Big mistake!
Narrator: Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet is
 taking out the trash.
Old Man: Stay thy hand, fair prince.
Hamlet shooting him: Who said I'm fair?
Narrator: No one is going to tell this sweet prince good night.
Hamlet: To be or not to be? Not to be.

Vivaldi: What I'm saying is; Mr. Benedict can take you out as easy as
 cake.

{Danny Madigan is watching the bad guys on the screen}
Danny Madigan: You are gonna pay... Oooh, you gonna pay!

{Frank's last words}
Frank: I'm out of here...

Jack Slater: Who the hell are you?
Danny Madigan: Don't shoot me. I'm Danny Madigan. I'm a kid.

Danny Madigan: OK, I got one. What about this girl right here. She
 is way too attractive to be working in a video store.
Jack Slater: I agree with you. I think she should be working with us
 ... under cover of course...

Danny Madigan: You think you are funny, don't you?
Jack Slater: I know I am. I'm the famous comedian Arnold
 Braunschweiger.
Danny Madigan: Schwarzenegger!
Jack Slater: Gesundheit.

Jack Slater: Could I speak to the drug dealer of the house, please?

Jack Slater: I'll be back! Ha! You didn't know I was gonna say that,
 did you?
Danny Madigan: That's what you always say!
Jack Slater: I do?

Jack Slater: Kid! Who does the doctor treat?
Danny Madigan: Patients?
Jack Slater: Look at the elbow of my jacket. What is it doing?
Danny Madigan: Wearing thin?
Jack Slater: Bingo!

{Danny Madigan was just kissed by Whitney Slater}
Danny Madigan: From now on it's all gonna be downhill...

Whitney Slater: FREEZE! Lose the guns or I redecorate in brain-matter
 grey, got it?

Danny Madigan: Chicken it is...

Danny Madigan: ...I though I was going to die.
Jack Slater: Well I'm sorry to disappoint you but you're gonna live to
 enjoy all the glorious fruits life has got to offer - acne, shaving,
 premature ejaculation ... and your first divorce.

Jack Slater: And Whitney! Why can't she be like every other teenager.
 For prom night she stayed home and field stripped an AK-47.

{Jack Slater realizes that a nervgasbomb is hidden in Leo "the Fart"'s
 body}
Jack Slater: Leo "the Fart" is gonna pass gas one more time.

Vivaldi: Mr. Torelli. I hope it's alright with you I am here. I
 don't wanna be no fourth wheel...

Vivaldi: You've had Slater in front of the eight ball before, but you
 always screwed it up.

{The nervgasbomb goes of in the tar-pit}
Jack Slater: Silent but deadly!

Vivaldi: What is this, Benedict! First you are my friend, then you
 turn 360 on me...

Benedict: If God was a villain, he would have been me.

{Jack Slater throws Benedict against a wall, and both Benedict and his
 servant disappears through it}
Jack Slater: Usually when I do that it leaves a hole...

Nick: There are lots of things worse than movies: politicians, wars,
 forest fires, famine, plague, sickness, pain, whores, politicians...
Jack Slater: You already mentioned them.
Nick: I know I did. They are twice as bad as anything else.

James Belushi: I'm not really a big fan of Arnold's... She is, you
 know... Arnold really turns her on and I just want to be there when
 it happens.
@
#LAST BOY SCOUT, THE (1991)
{Billy Cole's last line}
Billy Cole: Ain't life a bitch?

{Joe Hallenbeck wakes up in his car and stares at his grubby
 reflection in the mirror}
Joe Hallenbeck: Nobody likes you. Everybody hates you. You're gonna
 lose. Smile, you fuck.

Jimmy Dix: Hi, you're nobody!
Joe Hallenbeck: Shhh, don't tell anyone.

Jimmy Dix to Joe Hallenbeck: Man, you couldn't protect a cup of warm
 piss.

Alley Thug: Wrong place, wrong time. Nothing personal.
Joe Hallenbeck: That's what you think. Last night I fucked your wife.
Alley Thug: Oh you did, hah? How'd you know it was my wife?
Joe Hallenbeck: She said her husband was a big pimp lookin'
 motherfucker with a hat.
Alley Thug: Oh, you're real cool but you've got to take a bullet.
Joe Hallenbeck: After fucking your wife I'll take two.

Joe Hallenbeck: This ain't no game, "Flash"! Real guns. Real
 bullets. It's dangerous.
Jimmy Dix: "Dangerous" is my middle name.
Joe Hallenbeck: Mine is "Cornelius", and if you tell anyone, I'll kill
 you.

Detective: There's a new invention out. It's called the razor.
Joe Hallenbeck: Too risky, I might start thinkin' about you and slash
 my wrist.

Milo: You think you are so fucking cool, don't you? You think you are
 so fucking cool. But just once, I would like to hear you scream in
 pain...
Joe Hallenbeck: Play some rap music.

Joe Hallenbeck: Where are you goin'?
Jimmy Dix: To the bathroom, okay. You wanna come? The doc said I
 shouldn't lift anything heavy.
Joe Hallenbeck: No, I'll pass.

Jimmy Dix: She get's evidence to use against 'em, right?
Joe Hallenbeck: That's right.
Jimmy Dix: So now we have the evidence.
Joe Hallenbeck: What we got, Junior, is Marcone and Baynard by the
 nuts and that is why I love America.

Scrabble Man: Drop the gun, Hallenbeck! Bit late for a stroll, don't
 you think?
Joe Hallenbeck: Yeah, you girls oughta be gettin' home.
Jimmy Dix: Yeah, streetlights are on.
Jake: Shut up fuckface.
Joe Hallenbeck: I'm fuckface, he's asshole.
Scrabble Man: Jake, advise Rodney Dangerfield here of the situation.
 Perhaps we can dispense with the fun and games now, yes?
Joe Hallenbeck: You want the envelope, right?
Scrabble Man: The envelope, very smart. See Jake, here is a man who
 knows when a situation is untennable.
Joe Hallenbeck: Good word.
Scrabble Man: You like that word? And you do have that envelope,
 don't you?
Hallenbeck: Better give up, Jimmy. We're dealin' with a couple of
 geniuses here.
Jimmy Dix: Hey man, just leave him the fuck alone!
Scrabble Man: Leave him alone? We do whatever you say. Jake here
 takes his job with a certain exuberance.
Jimmy Dix: Shit, we're being beat up by the inventor of scrabble.
Scrabble Man: He's in a good mood, Jake. Kick 'em again.
Hallenbeck: All right. You want the envelope the hooker had, right?
Jimmy Dix: She wasn't a hooker, Joe!
Hallenbeck: Shut the fuck up!

Hallenbeck: Hey flash, rescue attempt?
Jimmy Dix: Blow me!
Milo: You must be James.
Jimmy Dix: James?
Hallenbeck: He does that with everybody. He calls me Joseph.
Milo: I trust you're alone.
Jimmy Dix: No, I got the fuckin' Vienna Boys Choir with me. What, is
 everybody stupid around here?
Hallenbeck: Just you, kid.
@
#LAST OF THE MOHICANS, THE (1992)
Nathaniel Poe: In case your aim is better than your judgment.

Hawkeye: My father says---
Cora interupting: Your Father?!
Hawkeye: Chingachgook told me, "Don't try to understand them; and
 don't try to make them understand you. For they are a breed apart
 and make no sense."

British military guy: How is it that you are going west?
Hawkeye: Well, you face north and real subtle-like, turn left.
@
#LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (1962)
{Lawrence has just extinguished a match between his thumb and
 forefinger. William Potter surreptitiously attempts the same.}
William Potter: Ooh! It damn well 'urts!
T.E. Lawrence: Certainly it hurts.
Officer: What's the trick then?
T.E. Lawrence: The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it
 hurts.
@
#LEAP OF FAITH (1992)
Jonah Nightengale: A twelve-gauge, double-barreled, grenade-launcher
 of LOVE!

Jonas Nightengale: Yakety Yak - God's talking back!
@
#LETHAL WEAPON (1987)
Man at the office: You know, Roger, you are way behind the times. The
 guys of the 80s aren't though. They are sensitive people. Show a
 little emotion to a woman and shit like that. I think I'm an
 80's...
Roger Murtaugh: How do you figure?
Man at the office: Last night I cried in bed. So how is that?
Roger Murtaugh: Were you with a woman?
Man at the office: I was alone. Why do you think I cried?
Roger Murtaugh: Sounds like an 80's man to me...

{Repeated line all the way}
Roger Murtaugh: I'm too old for this shit!

Roger Murtaugh: God hates me, that's what it is.
Martin Riggs: Hate him back! It works for me.

Roger Murtaugh: Have you ever met anybody you didn't kill?
Martin Riggs: I haven't killed you, have I?

Martin Riggs: Perhaps there's an opening in the L.A. Fire Department?

{When Joshua is panting on the lawn after the title-fight}
Roger Murtaugh: Get that shit off my lawn!
@
#LETHAL WEAPON 2 (1989)
{After a wild car chase, the car looks like a wreck}
Roger Murtaugh: This was a new car, Riggs...
Martin Riggs: Well, it still is!

{After shooting 2 criminals with a nail gun}
Roger Murtaugh: Nailed you both!
@
#LEVIATHAN (1989)
Sixpack: You know, I stood next to a guy who blew up his suit once.
 I'll tell you, that was not a pretty sight.
Jones: Leave DeJesus alone, man!
Sixpack: One tiny little hole in a fucking toe of his suit, man. No
 bigger than your dick. Yeah, the way the ocean came in, the
 pressure just crammed his whole body up into his helmet. We just
 buried his helmet. That would have been you, DeJesus.
DeJesus: Hey, I know about implosions.
Sixpack: Yeah, I bet you do. I bet you were imploding in your pants.
@
#LIGHTNIN' IN THE FOREST (1948)
{Jerri and David are careening down a city street}
David Lamont: Do you always drive like this?
Jerri Vail: No. Sometimes I like to go fast.
@
#LIMELIGHT (1952)
Calvero: There's something about working the streets I like. It's the
 tramp in me I suppose.
@
#LION IN WINTER, THE (1968)
Philip II: That's what tapestries are for.

Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine: You're not an assassin.
Richard: Look again.

Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine: We could tangle spiders in the webs you
 weave.

King Henry II: More Brandy wine? They were boiling it in Ireland
 before the snakes left!

Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine: What family doesn't have its ups and
 downs?

Prince Geoffrey: I know. You know I know. I know you know I know.
 We know Henry knows, and Henry knows we know it. {smiles} We're a
 knowledgeable family.
@
#LION KING, THE (1994)
{Timon finds a grub in a rotten log and eats it}
Timon: Slimy ... yet satisfying.
@
#LISZTOMANIA (1975)
Cosima I've polished your sword! What do you want it for, to kill the
 critics?
Liszt: Time kills critics, my dear.
@
#LITTLE MURDERS (1971)
Karol "Dick" Newqvist: What's your pleasure, young man!
@
#LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS (1986)
{Orin Scrivello, the sadistic dentist}
Orin Scrivello: I thrill when I drill a bicuspid, it's swell though
 they tell me I'm mal-ad-just-ed.
@
#LOCAL HERO (1983)
{After hitting a rabbit on the road}
Oldsen Why don't we kill it. Hit it with something hard?
Mac: You've already done that with a two-ton automobile!
@
#LODGER, THE (1926)
Joe Betts: When I've put a rope round the Avenger's neck, I'll put a
 ring around Daisy's finger.
@
#LONG WAIT, THE (1954)
Johnny: Nobody knows where I come from, not even me.

Laurie: So when we leaving, honey?
Johnny: I'm leaving now. {kisses her} I'm traveling light. {throws her
 at Chuck} Here, Chuck, it's all yours!

Johnny: Do you know me?
Carol: What gave you that idea?
Johnny: You were looking at me as if you did.
Carol: Couple of gals were staring at you. All I did was follow their
 eyes and hit you. I couldn't very well miss... such a big target.

Logan: Blonde wasn't the word for it. Honey-blonde, and real. And it
 didn't come out of any bottle.

Troy (with door on latch): I'll bet your name is Johnny McBride.
Johnny: You win.
Troy opening door: So do you.
@
#LOST BOYS, THE (1987)
David: Now you know what we are, now you know what you are. You'll
 never grow old, Michael, and you'll never die. But you must feed!

Sam: You're a creature of the night, Michael. My own brother, a
 goddam shit-sucking vampire. You wait 'til Mom finds out!

Sam about Star: It's that girl from the boardwalk. Is she one of
 them? {Star floats up.} She's one of them! And don't tell me it
 doesn't make her a bad person, Mike.
@
#MAD MAX (1979)
Fifi Macaffee: People don't believe in heroes any more.
@
#MAD MAX 2 (1981)
Mad Max: No deals. I wanna drive the truck.

Mad Max whistles and says: Two days ago I saw a vehicle that'd haul
 that tanker. You wanna get out of here? You talk to me.
@
#MAD MISS MANTON, THE (1938)
Lt. Mike Brent: Look, lady, it's been ten minutes since you called us.
 The murderer, that is if there is a murderer, could be in Brooklyn
 by now--- that is, if anybody *wants* to be in in Brooklyn.

Melsa Manton: Helen, you search the upstairs.
Helen Frayne: Oh, no! I was never much of an individualist. If the
 upstairs has to be searched, we'll search it together.
Dora Fenton: Why, that's communism!

Dora Fenton: You know, psychiatrists say hate's just a step away from
 love.
Helen Frayne: Yeah, but it's the lull in between that drives you
 crazy.

Peter Ames to Melsa: You're up to your beautiful hips in murder!
@
#MADE IN AMERICA (1993)
Hal Jackson: Funny thing, sperm...
@
#MAHLER (1974)
Mahler to Krenek: You've already wasted three minutes of my time! Now
 why don't you do what I do to keep the New York Philharmonic in
 time: beat it!
@
#MAJOR LEAGUE (1989)
{The Indians General Manager calls minor league coach Lou Brown at
 Tire World to offer him a position with the Indians}
General Manager: How would you like to manage the Indians this year?
Lou Brown: Gee, I don't know....
General Manager: What do you mean? This is your chance to manage in
 the big leagues.
Lou Brown: Let me get back to you. I got a guy on the other line
 asking about some white walls.

{Rookie pitcher Ricky "Wild Thing" Vaughn is about to throw the final
 pitch for the Indians in the playoff game}
Lou Brown: Forget about the curve ball Ricky, give him the heater.
@
#MALICE (1993)
Jed: Bad things happen to good people all the time, Andy, for no
 reason what-so-ever...
@
#MAN ABOUT TOWN (1939)
Bob Temple: Use a little imagination, Rochester. What would you order
 if you wanted to make an impression?
Rochester: How about fish and chips and a couple of bottles of gin?

Bob Temple: Rochester, you never ask a titled lady for her phone
 number. We just had lunch.
Rochester: Man, that's like readin' one page and throwin' away the
 book.

Ted Nash: Bob, you're shaking like a leaf.
Bob Temple: Shaking like a leaf! What's a leaf got to shake about?
@
#MAN WHO WOULD BE KING, THE (1975)
Peachy Carnehan: Detriments you call us? Detriments? Well I want to
 remind you that it was detriments like us that built this bloody
 Empire AND the Izzat of the bloody Raj. Hats on!

Peachy Carnehan: Home to what? A porters uniform outside a restaurant
 and six penny tips from belching civilians for closing cab doors on
 their blowzy women?
Daniel Dravot: Not for us thank you. Not after watching afghans come
 howling down out of the hills and taking battlefield command when
 all the officers bought it.
Peachy Carnehan: Well said, brother Dravot.
@
#MAN WITH TWO BRAINS, THE (1983)
Journalist: Were you interested in science as a child?
Doctor Michael Hfuhruhurr: I don't know if I was interested so much in
 the science as I was in the slime that goes along with it. Snakes
 and frogs. When I saw how slimy the human brain was, I knew that's
 what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

Doctor Michael Hfuhruhurr: Into the mud, scum queen!
@
#MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE, THE (1962)
{A general greets Medal of Honor winner Staff Sgt. Raymond Shaw on his
 return to the U.S.}
General: Congratulations, son. How do you feel?
Raymond Shaw: Like Captain Idiot in Astounding Science comics.

{A nightmare switches between a ladies' garden club and a
 Soviet/Chinese military hospital}
Lady at garden club: You will notice that I have told them they may
 smoke. I've allowed my people to have a little fun in the selection
 of bizarre tobacco substitutes... Are you enjoying your cigarette,
 Ed?
Ed Movole: Yes ma'am.
Dr. Yen Lo: Yak dung! ...hope tastes good - like a cigarette should!

Dr. Yen Lo: His brain has not only been washed, as they say... It has
 been dry cleaned.

Raymond Shaw: Twelve days of Christmas! One day of Christmas is
 loathsome enough!
@
#MANHATTAN (1979)
Isaac Davis: My ex-wife left me for another woman.

Isaac Davis: She's 17. I'm 42 and she's 17. I'm older than her
 father, can you believe that? I'm dating a girl, wherein, I can
 beat up her father.

Yale: You are so self-righteous, you know. I mean we're just people.
 We're just human beings, you know? You think you're God.
Isaac Davis: I... I gotta model myself after someone.

Isaac Davis: This is so antiseptic. It's empty. Why do you think
 this is funny? You're going by audience reaction? This is an
 audience that's raised on television, their standards have been
 systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of
 their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains
 out!
@
#MANHATTAN MURDER MYSTERY (1993)
Larry Lipton: I forbid. I forbid you to go. I'm forbidding! Is that
 what you do when I'm forbidding?
@
#MANHUNTER (1986)
Will Graham: I know that I'm not smarter than you.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: Then how did you catch me?
Will Graham: You had disadvantages.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: What disadvantages?
Will Graham: You're insane.
@
#MANUFACTURING CONSENT: NOAM CHOMSKY AND THE MEDIA (1992)
A statistic: In North America there are: 7 major movie studios and
 more than 1,800 daily newspapers, 11,000 magazines, 11,000 radio
 stations, 2,000 TV stations, 2,500 book publishers. 23 corporations
 own and control over 50% of the business in each medium. In some
 cases they have a virtual monopoly.
@
#MARGIE (1946)
Professor Fontayne: I was just looking for Keats. Do you like Keats?
Margie: I don't know, sir. What are keats?

Marybelle: Well, I don't see what he sees in her. She's old. She must
 be twenty-five at least.
@
#MARKED FOR DEATH (1990)
{John Hatcher just killed two of the bad guys and is chatting to his
 buddy}
John Hatcher: One thought he was invisible, and the other thought he
 could fly. They were both wrong.
@
#MARY POPPINS (1964)
Mrs. Banks: Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group
 they're rather stupid.

George Banks: Kindly do not attempt to cloud the issue with facts.

Mary Poppins: Of course, you can say it backwards, which is
 dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirupus, but that's going a bit too far,
 don't you think?
Bert: Indubitably.
@
#MASK, THE (1994)
{The Mask, standing in front of a mirror, in the process of going out
 to a club}
The Mask: It's party time. P, A, R, T. Why? Because I gotta!

{Stanley attempts to get his dog to steal the keys from the sleeping
 guard}
Stanley: No Milo, not the "cheese"... The "keys"!!!

Charlie Schumacher: Forget her, Stanley... That girl will tear your
 heart out, put it in a blender and hit "frappe".

The Mask innocently: No! It wasn't me! It was the One-Armed Man!

Charlie Schumacher: That was beautiful! I got chills! What side of
 whose bed did you wake up on?

Peggy Brandt: Most of the men in this town think monogamy is some kind
 of wood.
@
#MAVERICK (1994)
{Just like in _Lethal Weapon_ (qv) and its sequels}
Bank Robber: I'm too old for this shit.
@
#MEAN STREETS (1973)
{They all raise their glasses to The Queen}
Charlie: You know what the Queen says? I had balls, I'd be da King.

{Scorsese, Martin} (voice-over): You don't make up for your sins in
 church. You do it on the streets. You do it at home. The rest is
 bullshit and you know it.
@
#MEDITERRANEO (1991)
{Vassilassa, the local whore, meets the soldiers. She is speaking
 Greek; they speak Italian.}
Sergeant: What is "prostitute"?
Private: A whore.
Sergeant: How dare you speak to her like that.
Vassilassa: No, "whore's" good, "whore's" good.
@
#MEET JOHN DOE (1941)
The Colonel: I don't read no papers and I don't listen to radios
 either. I know the world's been shaved by a drunken barber, and I
 don't *have* to read it!

Long John Willoughby: Hey, stop worryin', Colonel, fifty bucks ain't
 gonna ruin me.
The Colonel: I've seen plenty of fellas start out with fifty bucks and
 wind up with a *bank* account!
Beany: Hey, what's wrong with a bank account, anyway?
The Colonel: And let me tell you, Long John, when you become a guy
 with a bank account, they gotcha! Yes sir, they gotcha!
Beany: Who's got him?
The Colonel: The hee-lots!

Mayor Hawkins: Walk slow, like you do when you come to pay your taxes.
@
#MEN OF WAR (1994)
Kiefer: This is not the ordenary I hit you, you hit me, I hit you, you
 hit me. No no no no. This is I hit you, I hit you, I fucking hit
 you!
@
#MERCENARY, THE (1968)
Kowalski: Dream, Paco, but dream with your eyes open.
@
#MICROWAVE MASSACRE (1983)
Donald: I'm so hungry I could eat a whore.
@
#MIDNIGHT (1939)
Eve Peabody: Well. So this, as they say, is Paris, huh?
Train guard: Yes, madame.
Eve Peabody: Well, from here it looks an awful lot like a rainy night
 in Kokomo, Indiana.

Eve Peabody: From the moment you looked at me, I had an idea you had
 an idea.

Eve Peabody at the ball: Don't forget, every Cinderella has her
 midnight.
@
#MIDNIGHT COWBOY (1969)
Joe Buck: Uh .. well, sir, I ... ain't a f'real cowboy. But I am one
 helluva stud!

Joe Buck: It just ain't right cheatin' from a pregnant lady.

Joe Buck: John Wayne! Are you tryin' to tell me he's a fag?
@
#MIDNIGHT RUN (1988)
Jack Walsh: Here come two words for you: Shut the fuck up.
@
#MIRROR CRACK'D, THE (1980)
Lola Brewster: I could eat a can of Kodak and puke a better movie.
@
#MISSISSIPPI BURNING (1988)
Rupert Anderson to Ward: Don't you have the whole world to save???
@
#MISTER ROBERTS (1955)
{Last line}
Ensign Pulver: Captain, it is I, Ensign Pulver, and I want you to know
 that I just threw your stinkin' tree overboard. Now what's all this
 crud about no movie tonight?
@
#MONA LISA (1986)
Thomas shows George a plate of plastic spaghetti: What do you think?
George: Do you melt it down and eat it?
Thomas: No. They're ornamental.
George: Ornamental spaghetti.
Thomas: Yeah. Could go a bomb.
George: Where'd you get them?
Thomas: Contacts, George. You can't find plastic spaghetti just
 anywhere.

Simone: ...Sometimes they fall for what they think I am.
George: And what do they think you are?
Simone: What you think. A black whore.
George: Did I say that?
Simone: What do you think, then?
George: Well, you ain't no night nurse.
Simone: No, I ain't no night nurse.
George: Well, let's say you're a lady.
@
#MONKEY BUSINESS (1931)
{Marx, Groucho}: Oh, I know it's a penny here and a penny there, but
 look at me. I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme
 poverty.
@
#MONOLITH (1993)
Tucker: I got 3 rules; 1) Shit happens, 2) Shit happens on a regular
 basis and 3) You better get used to rule 1 and 2.
@
#MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL (1974)
Peasant 1: Who's that there?
Peasant 2: I don't know... Must be a king...
Peasant 1: Why?
Peasant 2: He hasn't got shit all over him.

Arthur: I am your king!
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you!
Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
{Angelic music plays...}
Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering
 silmite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying
 by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT
 is why I am your king!
Dennis interrupting: Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin'
 swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive
 power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical
 aquatic ceremony!

Dennis: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just
 because some watery tart threw a sword at you!

Dennis: Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because
 some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

Dennis: Help! Help! I'm being oppressed! Violence inherent in the
 system! Violence inherent in the system!

Bedevere: ...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana
 shaped...
Arthur: This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how
 sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes...

Arthur: On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly
 place.

Zoot: You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you
 may deal with her as you like... and then... spank me!
All: And me! And me too! And me!
Zoot: Yes! Yes, you must give us all a good spanking!

Zoot: And after the spanking, the oral sex!
Galahad: Well I could stay a bit longer...

Knight: We are the Knights who say... NI!

Knight 1: We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni.
Knight 2: NI!
Other Knights: Shh...
Knight 1: We are now the Knights who say...
 "Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG! Zoom-Boing! Z'nourrwringmm!"

King of Swamp Castle: We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land
 we can get.
Prince Herbert: But I don't like her.
King of Swamp Castle: Don't like her? What's wrong with her. She's
 beautiful, she's rich, she's got huge ... tracts of land.

Dennis/Peasant in Autonomous Collective: If I went around calling
 myself emperor simply because some watery tart lobbed a scimitar at
 me, they'd put me away.

Brother Maynard: Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of
 Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow
 thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did
 rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and
 fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord
 say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to
 three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of
 the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither
 shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three.
 Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the
 counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the
 direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff
 it."
@
#MORE THE MERRIER, THE (1943)
Benjamin Dingle: There are two kinds of people - those who don't do
 what they want to do so they write down in a diary about what they
 haven't done and those who are too busy to write about it 'cause
 they're out doing it!
@
#MOVIE MOVIE (1978)
Doctor: As you probably know, the eye is the second most sensitive
 organ on the human body.

Doctor: Her eyes muscles are extremely weak. They can barely hold up
 what she sees.

Doctor: If any part of the human body has a tendency to break down,
 I'm afraid the eyes have it.

Doctor: It may not show on these x-rays, but your heart is pure silk
 too.

Joey Popchik: Fightin's for suckers. I'm goin' to night school to be
 a lawyer. These hands are for readin' books.

Joey Popchik: You know what they charge for an eye? An arm and a leg.

Host: The La Chez Maison is proud to present, in her eighth month,
 Miss Troubles Moran!

Joey Popchik: Mine's the next slum.

Hood: Here we are in the country, Mr. Marlow.

Angie Popchik: I can see with one eye tied behind my back!

Joey Popchik: Funny, isn't it? How many times your guts can get a
 slap in the face.

Joey Popchik: I'm fightin' in the Garden tomorrow night.
Gloves Malloy: I heard it in the papers.

Jinks Murphy: Hey, don't tell me my business. I've taped more hands
 than you've got in your whole head.

Gloves Malloy: Go ahead, go ahead. Shoot. But killin' me never
 solved nothin'.

Joey Popchik: We cannot bring Gloves Malloy's death back to life.

Joey Popchik: With the woman that you love at your side to stand
 behind you, a man can move mountains with his bare heart.

Joey Popchik: It was the late great Gloves Malloy who said how hard it
 is to say what there are no words for.

Joey Popchik: When a man says what's right, what's good, what's real,
 and what's true, then his mouth is ten feet tall.

Announcer: Fight with them! Laugh with them! Love with them! And
 even die with them the death of heroes who will live forever!

Spats Baxter: Say, do you think you could write a Broadway score?
Dick Cummings: Oh, it's been my lifelong dream, for years!
@
#MR. BLANDINGS BUILDS HIS DREAM HOUSE (1948)
Joan: Oh look! Mother's diary! It's slightly torrid!
@
#MUPPET MOVIE, THE (1979)
Kermit: Durn, I missed. You know, that's the first thing to go on a
 frog? The tongue. The tongue goes and you can't catch flies.

Waiter: Sparkling Muscatel. One of the finest wines of Idaho.

Gonzo: Oh, I tell ya, Camilla, great plumbers are born, not made! I'm
 the prince of plungers, fair maiden!

Lew Lord: Draw up the standard "rich and famous" contract for Kermit
 the Frog and company.

Big Bird: I'm going to New York to try to break into public
 television!

Dr. Teeth: Golden teeth and golden tones, welcome to my presence!

Dr. Teeth: Oh yeah, that's Animal. Show 'em what you do, Animal!
Animal: I what do! Eat drums! Rarrrrgh! {eats drums}
Dr. Teeth: No! No! Not eat drums! Beat drums! Beat drums!

{To catch Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem up on the story so far,
 Fozzie hands them the screenplay.}
Fozzie: It starts here on page, uh, one.
Dr. Teeth: "The Muppet Movie," huh? "Exterior swamp, day. In a long
 helicopter shot, we discover Kermit the Frog playing the banjo and
 singing..."

Kermit: Life's like a movie / Write your own ending.

Gonzo: I'm going to Bombay, India, to become a movie star!
Fozzie: You don't go to Bombay to become a movie star. You go where
 we're going: Hollywood!
Gonzo: Sure, if you want to do it the easy way!
@
#MURDER! (1930)
Handel Fane: I assure you, Inspector, I'm not the other woman in this
 case.
@
#MUSIC MAN, THE
{in song}
Marian: Do you think that I'd allow a common masher--? Now, really,
 mama. I have my standards where men are concerned and I have no
 intention--
Mrs. Paroo: I know all about your standards and if you don't mind my
 sayin' so there's not a man alive who could hope to measure up to
 that blend of Paul Bunyan, Saint Pat, and Noah Webster you've
 concocted for yourself out of your Irish imagination, your Iowa
 stubbornness, and your li'berry full of books!
@
#MY BLUE HEAVEN (1990)
{pickup-line}
Vincent Antonelli: You know, it's dangerous for you to be here in the
 frozen food section.
Shaldeen: Why is that?
Vincent Antonelli: Because you could melt all this stuff...

{Vincent Antonelli is questioned about the stolen goods in the trunk
 of the car he stole}
Hannah Stubbs: The books...
Vincent Antonelli: You have something against books?
Hannah Stubbs: I have nothing about books! I am curious about the
 books in your trunk.
Vincent Antonelli: You see, I was thinking of writing my story, so I
 bought this one on how to do it.
Hannah Stubbs: Why do you need 25 copies of it?
Vincent Antonelli: In case I want to read it more than once...

Vincent Antonelli: Richie loved to use 22s because the bullets are
 small and they don't come out the other end like a 45, see, a 45
 will blow a barn door out the back of your head and there's a lot of
 dry cleaning involved, but a 22 will just rattle around like Pac-Man
 until you're dead.

{last line}
Vincent Antonelli: You know, sometimes I even amaze myself.
@
#MY BUNNY LIES OVER THE SEA (1948)
{The Scotsman informs him he's in Scotland, not Los Angeles}
Bugs Bunny: What's up, McDoc?
@
#MY CHAUFFEUR (1986)
Cat Fight: Look at that. A blue woman with a blue dog.
Groupie 1: She ain't blue.
Cat Fight: Her hair is blue.
Groupie 2: That counts. A blue woman with a blue dog.
Groupie 3: That's 20,000 points.
Groupie 1: Now you've gotta get her panties.
@
#MY FAVORITE YEAR (1982)
{Alan Swann has blundered into the wrong restroom}
Lil: This is for ladies only!
Alan Swann unzipping fly: So is *this*, ma'am, but every now and then
 I have to run a little water through it.

Benjy Stone: I don't want to bring Alan Swann to your house, Ma!
Belle: Well what are you ashamed of?
Benjy Stone: Everything!

Benjy Stone: Jews know two things in this world: suffering, and where
 to get really great Chinese food.

{Alan Swann is panicking because he has to go on live television}
Alan Swann: Damn you! I'm not an actor, I'm a movie star!

Alan Swann: Alfredo, telephone the Stork Club - we'll be two for
 dinner.
Alfi Bambacelli: Mr. Swann, are you sure you want the Stork Club?
 Remember what happened last time?
Alan Swann: It's been a year and a half. Surely they've repaired the
 wall and the bandstand by now.

{Benjy Stone and a very drunken Alan Swann are up on a roof as Swann
 attempts to shimmy down the side of the building}
Benjy Stone: Let's *not* do this - it's too dangerous!
Alan Swann: Nonsense! It worked perfectly well in "A Slight Case of
 Remorse"!
Benjy Stone: That was a movie! This is real life!
Alan Swann: What is the difference?

{King Kaiser is trying to hit on Alice Miller the writer}
King Kaiser: You look real nice today, Alice. Did you get those shoes
 I sent you?
Alice Miller: Oh yeah.
King Kaiser: Why did you send them back?
Alice Miller: They were the wrong size. And they were used.
@
#MY LITTLE CHICKADEE (1940)
Cuthbert H. Twillie: Once ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my
 corkscrew, and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water
 for days.
@
#MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO (1991)
Mike Waters: This is a nice home. Do you live here? ... I don't blame
 you.

Mike Waters: I've been tasting roads my whole life.

Scott Favor: When you wake up, wipe the slugs off your face. Be ready
 for a new day!
@
#MYSTERY DATE (1991)
Geena: We spend hours making ourselves look completely different, and
 then we go into some dark place where we really can't see each other
 anyway, and then we drink so we don't know if the other person is
 really interesting or just seems interesting 'cause they're
 pretending to be interested in the person that we're pretending to
 be.
Tom: Uh, right. So I guess there's no getting around it. We're gonna
 have to lie to each other.
@
#NAKED (1993)
Johnny: No matter how many books you read, there is something in this
 world that you never ever ever ever ever fucking understand.

Johnny: You can't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs. And
 humanity is just a cracked egg. And the omelet... stinks.

Sophie: What is a "proper relationship"?
Louise: Living with someone who talks to you after they banged you.
@
#NAKED GUN 2 1/2: THE SMELL OF FEAR, THE (1991)
Lt. Frank Drebin: Nice party, Hapsburg... I see a lot of familiar
 face lifts.

Quentin Hapsburg: You do speak French don't you?
Lt. Frank Drebin: Unfortunately no, but I do kiss that way.

{Lt. Frank Drebin is unhappy about Dr. Mainheimer}
Lt. Frank Drebin: Have you noticed anything different about him?
Jane Spencer: Well, only that he's a foot taller, and he seems to be
 left handed now... Frank, what are you trying to tell me? That
 Quentin has somehow found an exact double for Dr. Mainheimer and
 that tomorrow that double will give a fraudulent report to the
 president?
Lt. Frank Drebin: Why that's brilliant, that's a lot better than what
 I came up with.

{Hector Savage is in a house surrounded by armed police... He makes
 his demands}
Hector Savage: I want a car out front, something fun, a Porsche, then
 I want a plane ticket to Jamaica... And I want a nice hotel, no
 touristy place... Something really indicative of the people and
 their culture.

{Lt. Frank Drebin making a speech at the White House}
Lt. Frank Drebin: ...blowing away a fleeing suspect with my 44 magnum
 used to mean everything to me, I enjoyed it, well who wouldn't?

{Lt. Frank Drebin making a speech at the White House}
Lt. Frank Drebin: I want a world where Frank junior and all the Frank
 juniors can sit under a shady tree, breathe the air, swim in the
 ocean, and go into a 7-11 without an interpreter.

{Lt. Frank Drebin and Jane Spencer are standing next to a nuclear bomb
 which is about to explode}
Jane Spencer: Frank, if you're going to be blown to bits, I want to be
 here with you.

Lt. Frank Drebin: The truth hurts doesn't it, Hapsburg? Oh, sure
 maybe not as much as jumping on a bike with the seat missing...

{Lt. Frank Drebin and Ed Hocken are in a sex shop making inquiries}
Busty Female Shop Assistant: Why should I tell you copper?
Lt. Frank Drebin: Because I'm the last line of defense between sleaze
 like this and the decent people of this town.
{A male shop assistant appears from a storeroom.}
Assistant: Oh hi Frank, say we got that model D83 Swedish sure-grip
 suck machine that you ordered.
Lt. Frank Drebin to the Female Assistant: It's a gift.

{Frank Drebin and Ed Hocken try to analyze a case}
Frank Drebin: Why would anyone do this?
Ed Hocken: Sex, Frank?
Frank Drebin: No, thanks, not now...
@
#NAKED GUN 33 1/3: THE FINAL INSULT (1994)
{Frank Drebin is stopped at the entrance of the Award Ceremony place}
Frank Drebin: Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant, Police
 Squad.
Guard: Yeah, and I'm Robert De Niro.
Frank Drebin: Mr. De Niro, we got to get inside.
@
#NAKED GUN: FROM THE FILES OF POLICE SQUAD!, THE (1988)
Frank Drebin: Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one
 man on this force will rest one minute before until he's behind
 bars. Now, let's grab a bite to eat.

Frank Drebin: Interesting... Almost as interesting as the photographs
 I saw today.
Jane Spencer: I was young. I needed the work.

{Frank Drebin is emptying out his files after being kicked off the
 force}
Frank Drebin: Hey! The missing evidence in the Kelner case! He
 really was innocent!
Ed Hocken: Frank, Kelner went to the chair two years ago.
Frank Drebin: Well, uh......
{Frank Drebin quickly shoves the evidence back into the file cabinet}

{Frank Drebin is angrily breaking up with Jane Spencer}
Frank Drebin: And I'll tell you one more thing: I faked every orgasm!

Jane Spencer: I wanted you to know, now, I've loved you since the
 first day I met you, and I'll never stop. I'm a very lucky woman.
Frank Drebin: So am I...
@
#NARROW MARGIN (1990)
{Flying through Canadian mountains}
Deputy District Attorney: How come we're flying so low.
Cop: We're not low, it's the ground that's high.
@
#NATIONAL LAMPOON'S ANIMAL HOUSE (1978)
Boon: Now, she should be good-looking, but we're willing to trade
 looks for a certain... morally casual attitude.

Robert Hoover: We're in trouble. I just checked with the guys at the
 Jewish house and they said that every one of our answers on the
 Psych test was wrong.

Dean Vernon Wormer: The time has come for someone to put his foot
 down. And that foot is me.
@
#NATURAL BORN KILLERS (1994)
Mickey: The whole world's comin' to an end, Mal!
Mallory: I see angels, Mickey. They're comin' down for us from
 heaven. And I see you ridin' a big red horse ...

{On a TV interview}
Boy #1: Mickey and Mallory are the best thing to happen to mass murder
 since Manson.
Boy #2: Yeah! But ... they're way cooler!

Prisonboss: I'll tell you something Scagnetti, in all of my days in
 the people business...... and that ain't no small amount of days,
 right boys?
Boys: Oh, no!
Prisonboss: ......Mickey and Mallory Knox are about the most twisted
 decrapped pair of shit fucked there's ever been my displeasure to
 lay my god damn eyes on, I'm telling you, these two motherfuckers
 are a walking reminder of just how fucked up this system really is!

Prisonboss: Love makes the world go round, heh heh heh.

Scagnetti: I was born and spent the first part of my life in Texas.
Prisonboss: That's funny, you don't have the accent.
Scagnetti: I don't wanna talk like those assholes.
Prisonboss: My mother was from Texas!
Scagnetti: I meant those other assholes.
@
#NECROMANIA (1971)
Shirley: You nearly made me wet my nightgown, old boy. It's new, too.
@
#NETWORK (1976)
Howard Beale: Television is not the truth! Television is a goddamned
 amusement park!
@
#NEVER GIVE A SUCKER AN EVEN BREAK (1941)
The Great Man: You're about to fall heir to a kitten's stocking.
Heckler: What's a kitten's stocking?
The Great Man: A sock on the puss.

The Great Man: How'd you like to hide the egg and gurgitate a few
 saucers of mocha java?

Waitress: And another thing. Don't be so free with your hands.
The Great Man: Listen, honey. I was only trying to guess your
 weight. You take things too seriously.

Receptionist: Some day you'll drown in a vat of whiskey!
The Great Man: Drown in a vat of whiskey. Death, where is thy sting?

Stewardess: Can I get you a bromo?
The Great Man: No, I couldn't stand the noise.

His Niece: Why didn't you ever marry?
The Great Man: I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She
 drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

The Producer: This script is an insult to a man's intelligence. Even
 mine.

The Great Man: Suffering sciatica!
@
#NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN (1983)
{A nurse stands on the other side of the room, James Bond just had a
 medical examination}
Nurse: Mr. Bond. I need a urine sample. If you could fill this
 beaker for me?
James Bond: From here?

{Fatima Blush lands in James Bond's arms when she water-skis up the
 ramp to the bar}
Fatima Blush: Oh, how reckless of me. I made you all wet.
James Bond: Yes, but my martini is still dry. My name is James.

{Last lines}
{Small-Fawcett is thrown into the pool by James Bond}
Small-Fawcett: I'm sorry Mr. Bond. I obviously caught you in a bad
 moment.
James Bond: M sent you!
Small-Fawcett: Only to plead for your return, Sir. M says that
 without you in the service, he fears for the security of the
 civilized world.
James Bond: Never again.
Domino Petachi: Never?
@
#NIGHT AND THE CITY (1992)
Harry Fabian: A toast. To all of you... to hell with you, to all of
 me!
@
#NIGHT AT THE OPERA, A (1935)
Otis B. Driftwood: It's all right, tha-that's in every contract.
 Tha-that's what they call a sanity clause.
Fiorello: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ... you can't fool me. There is no sanity
 clause.
@
#NIGHT OF THE COMET (1984)
Younger Sister: You were born with an asshole, Doris, you don't need
 Chuck.

{When her MAC-10 jams while target shooting}
Samantha: Daddy would have gotten us Uzis.
@
#NIGHT OF THE HUNTER, THE (1955)
Rev. Harry Powell when he notices John staring at the words "love" and
 "hate" tattooed across his knuckles: Ah, little lad, you're staring
 at my fingers. Would you like me to tell you the little story of
 right-hand/left-hand? The story of good and evil? H-A-T-E! It was
 with this left hand that old brother Cain struck the blow that laid
 his brother low. L-O-V-E! You see these fingers, dear hearts?
 These fingers has veins that run straight to the soul of man. The
 right hand, friends, the hand of love. Now watch, and I'll show you
 the story of life. Those fingers, dear hearts, is always a-warring
 and a-tugging, one agin t'other. Now watch 'em! Old brother left
 hand, left hand he's a fighting, and it looks like love's a goner.
 But wait a minute! Hot dog, love's a winning! Yessirree! It's
 love that's won, and old left hand hate is down for the count!
@
#NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968)
Johnny: They're coming to get you, Barbra!
@
#NO ESCAPE (1994)
Marek: Now, anyone who would like to disagree with me, would you
 please raise your right hand. {Looks around.} If you've got one.

Marek: First prize is a chance to live, second prize... you really
 don't want to hear what the second prize is.
@
#NO MAN'S LAND (1987)
{The car phone in the Porsche rings}
Benjy Taylor: Hello? No, Rick is not here. Who am I? The guy
 stealing Rick's car...
@
#NORTH BY NORTHWEST (1959)
Roger O. Thornhill: Now you listen to me, I'm an advertising man, not
 a red herring.

Roger O. Thornhill: I didn't realize you were an art collector. I
 thought you only collected corpses.

Roger O. Thornhill: The only performance that will satisfy you is when
 I play dead.
Phillip Vandamm: Your very next role. You'll be quite convincing, I
 assure you.

Roger O. Thornhill: Now, what can a man do for twenty minutes with his
 clothes off? Couldn't we have made it an hour?
Eve Kendall: You could take a cold shower.
@
#NOTHING BUT TROUBLE (1991)
Chris Thorne: ...their Brazillianaires they have breakfast at 2pm in
 the afternoon.
@
#NOTORIOUS (1946)
Alexander Sebastian: I'm married to an American agent.

{Last line}
Eric Mathis: Alex, will you come in, please. I wish to talk to you.
@
#NOWHERE TO RUN (1993)
Clydie: Where'd you learn to fight like that?
Sam Gillen: Law school!
@
#NUDIST COLONY OF THE DEAD (1991)
Reverend Ritz: Remember, the children can't praise the Lord if they've
 got genitals in their mouths.
@
#ODESSA FILE, THE (1974)
{Miller is trying to sell his editor on a story based on the diary}
Editor: No one wants to read about Jews.
Miller: They were GERMANS!
Editor: They were German Jews.
@
#OFTEN AN ORPHAN (1949)
{Porky doubts Charlie is a Labrador retriever}
Charlie Dog: If you doubt my word, get me a Labrador and I'll retrieve
 it for you.
@
#OH, MR PORTER! (1937)
Postman: You're wasting your time.
Porter: Well, what are you doing?
Postman: Just watching you wasting your time.
@
#OLIVER! (1968)
Boy: Fagin, this sausage is moldy!
Fagin: Shut up and drink your gin.
@
#ON DEADLY GROUND (1994)
McGruder: Who the fuck is he?
Michael Jennings: You wanna know who he is? Try this: delve down into
 the deepest bowels of your soul. Try to imagine the ultimate fucking
 nightmare. And that wont come close to that son of a bitch when he
 gets pissed.
Mercenary: Hes the kind of guy who would drink a gallon of gasoline so
 that he can piss into your campfire!
@
#ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE (1969)
Bond: This never happened to the other fella.

Draco: But today is the thirteenth, Commander Bond.
Bond: I'm superstitious.
@
#ONCE BITTEN (1985)
Robin Pierce: I'm the owner of the pants you've been trying to get
 into for the past four years.
@
#ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST (1969)
{Harmonica meets three bad guys at the station}
Harmonica: And Frank?
Bad guy: Frank sent us.
Harmonica: Did you bring a horse for me?
Bad guy: Err... looks like we're short of one horse...
Harmonica: No. You brought two too many!

{Cheyenne to Jill}
Cheyenne: Do you know anything about a guy going around playing the
 harmonica? He's someone you'd remember. Instead of talking, he
 plays. And when he better play, he talks.

Cheyanne: Hey, you could make thousands of dollars... Hundreds of
 thousands of dollars... Even thousands of thousands of dollars...
Harmonica: They call 'em millions.

{Harmonica to Cheyenne}
Harmonica: I saw three of these dusters today. Inside the dusters
 there were three men. Inside the men there were three bullets.

{Cheyenne to Jill}
Cheyenne: You know Jill, you remind me of my mother. She was the
 biggest whore in Alameda but the finest woman in the world. Whoever
 was my father for an hour or for a night ...... he must have been a
 happy man.

{Jill looking out the window at Harmonica}
Jill: What's he doing out there?
Cheyenne: He's cutting a piece of wood. And I have a feeling that
 when he stops cutting ..... something's gonna happen.

{Frank and Harmonica before the final duel - Harmonica stops
 cutting...}
Harmonica: So Frank, you found out you're not a business man after
 all.
Frank: No, just a man.
@
#ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST (1975)
{McMurphy, getting Chief into the basketball game}
McMurphy: Hit me, Chief, I got the moves!
@
#ONE GOOD TURN (1931)
Ollie: We haven't tasted food for three whole days.
Old lady: Three whole days!
Stan: Yes ma'am. Yesterday, today and tomorrow.
@
#OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY (1991)
Larry "the Liquidator" Garfield: Lawyers are like nuclear warheads. I
 have them because the other guy has them, but the first time you use
 them it fucks everything up.
@
#OUR GANG FOLLIES OF 1938 (1937)
Alfalfa: I'm the Barber of Seville!!!
@
#OUTBREAK (1995)
General McClintock: With all due respect,colonel, if you don't follow
 us to Travis Air Force base, we'll blow you out of the sky.
Daniels: With all due respect, general, fuck you, sir.

{George isn't cooperating with Daniels}
Colonel Sam Daniels: George, you've heard abouth this virus?... Shall
 I cough on you, George?
@
#PAINT YOUR WAGON (1969)
Ben Rumson: There's two kinds of people, them goin' somewhere and them
 goin' nowhere. And's that what's true.
@
#PALEFACE, THE (1948)
Potter: Brave men run in my family.
@
#PALM BEACH STORY, THE (1942)
"Weenie King": I'm the Weenie King! Invented the Texas Weenie! Lay
 off 'em, you'll live longer.

John D. Hackensacker III: That's one of the greatest tragedies of this
 life -- that the men who are most in need of a beating up are always
 enormous.
@
#PAPER CHASE, THE (1973)
Professor Kingsfield: You come in here with a head full of mush and
 you leave thinking like a lawyer.
@
#PARADINE CASE, THE (1947)
Gay Keane: Well, nice people don't go murdering other nice people.
@
#PARALLAX VIEW, THE (1974)
Cocktail waitress: A martini is like a woman's breast. One ain't
 enough and three is too many.
@
#PAT AND MIKE (1952)
{Last lines}
Pat Pemberton: What would happen if I ever dropped you?
Mike Conovan: I'd go right down the drain.
Pat Pemberton: And?
Mike Conovan: I'd take you right down with me shorty.
@
#PATTON (1970)
General George S. Patton Jr.: Patriotism means making the other poor
 damned bastard die for his country before he can make you die for
 yours.
@
#PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS, THE (1992)
Fool: That X-ray lady's back, she's out back right now by the van...
 She's got a man with her the size of Detroit.

Fool: Your father's one sick mother... Actually your mother is one
 sick mother too.

Woman: Never shoot your gun outside.
Man: He got away!
@
#PERFECT WORLD, A (1993)
Terry Pugh on seeing the gun has no bullets: Son of a bitch! Hells
 bells - no shells.
@
#PETER'S FRIENDS (1992)
Andrew: I think adults are just children who owe money.
@
#PINK CADILLAC (1989)
Tommy Nowak: I have strong feelings about gun control. If there's a
 gun around, I want to be controlling it.
@
#PINK PANTHER STRIKES AGAIN, THE (1976)
Francois: Do you know what kind of a bomb it was?
Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau: The exploding kind.

{Suddenly the American football game is interrupted just before the
 end by Charles Dreyfus' transmission}
The President: Call the FBI, the CIA and the Pentagon. Find out who
 won that game!

Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Does your dog bite?
Hotel Clerk: No.
Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau bowing down to pet the dog: Nice
 doggie.
{Dog barks and bites Clouseau in the hand}
Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I thought you said your dog did not
 bite!
Hotel Clerk: That is not my dog.

{Last line}
Jacques Clouseau: Cato! You imbecile! Not now!
@
#PINK PANTHER, THE (1964)
{Having made her tipsy with champagne, Sir Charles Lytton kisses
 Princess Dala}
Princess Dala: If I were my father, I'd have you tortured.
Sir Charles Lytton: No. If you were your father, I doubt very much if
 I would have kissed you.

{At a costume ball, a police sergeant costumed as a zebra drinks from
 the punch bowl}
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Any more behaviour like this and I'll have
 your stripes!

{Inspector Jacques Clouseau bumps into a woman dressed as Cleopatra.
 He hands back her rubber snake}
Woman: Take your filthy hands off my asp!
@
#PIT AND THE PENDULUM, THE (1990) (V)
Francisco: I'm sorry, mistress, that you weren't properly able to
 confess. There just wasn't enough time to torture you.
Esmeralda: Thanks anyway.
@
#PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1958)
Eros: Because all of you of Earth are idiots!

Eros: You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!
@
#PLANES, TRAINS & AUTOMOBILES (1987)
Neal Page: Eh, look, I don't want to be rude, but I'm not much of a
 conversationalist, and I really want to finish this article, a
 friend of mine wrote it, so...
Del Griffith: Don't let me stand in your way, please don't let me
 stand in your way. The last thing I want to be remembered as is an
 annoying blabbermouth... You know, nothing grinds my gears worse
 than some chowderhead that doesn't know when to keep his big trap
 shut... If you catch me running off with my mouth, just give me a
 poke on the chubbs...

{Waking up after sharing the same bed on the motel}
Neal Page: Del... Why did you kiss my ear?
Del Griffith: Why are you holding my hand?
Neal Page: Where are your other hand?
Del Griffith: Between two pillows...
Neal Page: Those AREN'T PILLOWS!!!

{Driving on the wrong side of the highway}
Neal Page: He says we're going the wrong way...
Del Griffith: Oh, he's drunk. How would he know where we're going?

Police Officer: What the hell are you driving here?
Del Griffith: We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in a
 nick of time.
Police Officer: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
Del Griffith: Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about
 that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to
 see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.
@
#PLANET OF THE APES (1968)
{The first words ever spoken by a human to the apes}
George Taylor: Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!
@
#PLATOON (1986)
Sgt Barnes: What's the matter boy? He ain't gonna bite you. That's a
 good gook; good and dead.

Sgt Barnes: Death? What you all know about death?

Sgt. Elias: Police up your spare rounds and frags. Don't leave
 nothin' for the dinks.
@
#PLAYER, THE (1992)
Delivery Boy: Hey, you're Martin Scorsese!
Pitch Man: No, but I know Harvey Keitel.
Delivery Boy: Of course you do! Hey, I loved Cape Fear!

Griffin Mill: This is a red wine glass. Can I have my water in a
 water glass?

Larry Levy: I'll be there right after my AA meeting.
Griffin Mill: Oh Larry, I didn't realise you had a drinking problem.
Larry Levy: Well I don't really, but that's where all the deals are
 being made these days.

Andy Civelli: Griffin, you move in mysterious ways, but I like it! I
 like it!
@
#POCKETFUL OF MIRACLES
Junior: She's like a cockroach what turned into a butterfly!

Joy Boy: Does it still kinda get you right here?

Joy Boy: What's with her?
Dave the Dude: Aah, she just wants a bunch of kids.
Joy Boy: Kids? Aw, they're mean when they get on that kick.

Spanish Consul: Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to be
 proven an imbecile.

Butler: Nobody arrives first, sir. They all arrive last.
@
#POINT BREAK (1991)
Ben Harp: You're a real blue flame special, aren't you, son? Young,
 dumb and full of come, I know. What I don't know is how you got
 assigned here. Guess we must just have ourselves an asshole
 shortage, huh?
Johhny Utah quietly: Not so far.

Angelo Pappas: Reagan usually does the driving. Stolen switch car.
 They leave it running ... on the curb. It look sparked from the
 distance. When they run they dump the vehicle and they vanish
 ... like a virgin on prom night. I mean they vanish, swishh...

Angelo Pappas: 22 years. Man, L.A. has changed alot during that time.
 The air got dirty and the sex got clean.

Ben Harp: Special agent Utah! This is not some job, flipping burgers
 at the local drive-in! Yes! - your surf board bothers me! Yes! -
 your approach to this whole damn case bothers me! And yes! - YOU
 BOTHER ME! And Pappas! Oh, for the love of Christ. How the hell
 did I even let you talk me into this whole bone-headed idea to begin
 with.
Angelo Pappas: Harp! We are working under-cover. It takes time.
 We've produced a few...
Ben Harp: NO! No no no no no no NO! Let me tell you what you've
 produced... Over the last two weeks, you two have produced exactly
 squat! SQUAT! During which time the ex-presidents have robbed two
 more banks. Now for Christ's sake, does either one of you have
 anything even remotely interesting to tell me?
{brief pause}
Johnny Utah: I caught my first tube today... Sir.

Angelo Pappas: ...last time you had a feeling I had to kill a guy, and
 I hate that... It looks bad on my report.

{Johnny Utah and Bodhi just beat the hell out of 4 surfers}
Bodhi: This is stimulating, but we're out of here.

{Angelo Pappas is aiming the gun at a surfer}
Angelo Pappas: Speak into the microphone, squid brain!

{After a long discussion about which parachute Johnny Utah should use}
Johnny Utah: You gonna jump or jerk off?

Bodhi: Life sure has a sick sense of humor, doesn't it?
@
#POPEYE THE SAILOR MEETS ALI BABA'S FORTY THIEVES (1937)
{Under his breath while crossing the endless desert wastes}
Popeye: If I had some bread I'd make a sandwich if I had a which.

{After pulling off Abu Hassan's long johns}

Popeye: Abu Hassan got 'em anymore!
Abu Hassan: You want to make fool from me?
Popeye: Aah, nature beat me to it.
@
#POPEYE THE SAILOR MEETS SINDBAD THE SAILOR (1936)
{Under his breath, as his boat is sinking}
Popeye: That was a nice ship we had once.
@
#PREDATOR (1987)
Dutch: Did you find Hawkins?
Poncho: I can't tell.

{After Dutch has nailed a guy to the wall with his knife}
Dutch: Stick around.

{They've just mowed down a football field's worth of jungle shooting
 at the Predator; all they find is a few drops of glow-in-the-dark
 alien blood.}
Dutch: If it bleeds, we can kill it.

Dutch: I'll be back!
@
#PREMATURE BURIAL, THE (1962)
Guy Carrell: Can you possibly conceive it. The unendurable oppression
 of the lungs, the stifling fumes of the earth, the rigid embrace of
 the coffin, the blackness of absolute night and the silence, like an
 overwhelming sea.
@
#PRICK UP YOUR EARS (1987)
Joe Orton: I always wanted to be an orphan. I could have, if it
 wasn't for my parents.
@
#PRINCESS BRIDE, THE (1987)
{The Grandson, interrupting the story in a kissing-scene}
The Grandson: Hold it, hold it! What is this? Are you trying to
 trick me? Where's the sports? Is this a kissing-book???

Vizzini: A word, my lady. We are but poor, lost circus performers.
 Is there a village nearby?
Buttercup: There is nothing nearby... Not for miles.
Vizzini: Then there will be no one to hear you scream!

Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can *fuss*.
Fezzik: Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at *us*.
Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no *harm*.
Fezzik: He's really very short on *charm*.
Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that!
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead!
Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it!
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
Vizzini: DYEEAAHHHHHH!!

{In the boat in the morning}
Inigo Montoya: He's right on top of us. I wonder if he is using the
 same wind we are using.

{Vizzini has just cut the rope The Dread Pirate Roberts is climbing
 up}
Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE!
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what
 you think it means.

Inigo Montoya: I donna suppose you coulda speed things up??
Westley: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree
 branch or find something useful to do.
Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do
 not think you would accept my help, since I am only only waiting
 around to kill you.
Westley: That does put a damper on our relationship.

Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance
 happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
Westley: Do you always begin conversations this way?

Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you.
Westley: You seem a decent fellow, I hate to die.

Westley: You are amazing.
Inigo Montoya: Well I ought to be, after twenty years.

Inigo Montoya: You are wonderful.
Westley: I've worked hard to become so.

Inigo Montoya: Who are you?
Westley: No one of consequence.
Inigo Montoya: I must know...
Westley: Get used to disappointment.
Inigo Montoya: 'kay.

Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for
 my brains.
Westley: You're that smart?
Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato,
 Aristotle, Socrates?
Westley: Yes.
Vizzini: Morons.

Vizzini: Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet,
 because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he
 was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the
 wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great
 fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the
 wine in front of me...

Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong -- that's what's so funny! I
 switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha-ha, you fool! You
 fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which
 is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia", but only slightly
 less famous is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian, when *death*
 is on the line!". Hahahahahah!
{Vizzini falls over dead}

Buttercup: You mock my pain!
Westley: Life is pain! Anyone who says different is trying to sell
 you something.

Buttercup: We'll never survive!
Westley: Nonsense! you're only saying that because no one ever has.

Prince Humperdinck: Surrender!
Westley: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept...

Count Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, you
 haven't got anything.

Inigo Montoya: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all
 those years?
Miracle Max: The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much
 for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why
 don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it?
 We're closed!

Miracle Max: Get back, witch!
Valerie: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife! And after what you just
 said, I'm not even sure I want to be that any more!

Westley: Give us the gate key.
Yellin: I have no gate key.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, tear his arms off.
Yellin: Oh, you mean *this* gate key.

Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my
 father. Prepare to die.

{As Buttercup prepares to commit suicide with a dagger}
Westley: There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It
 would be a pity to damage yours.

{Repeated line, including the last}
The Grandfather: As you wish.
@
#PRIZZI'S HONOR (1985)
Charley Partana: What kind of a person wouldn't catch a baby.
Mrs. Partana: He wasn't paid to protect the baby.
@
#PRODUCERS, THE (1968)
Leo Bloom: Actors are not animals! They're human beings!
Max Bialystock: They are? Have you ever eaten with one?

Franz Leibkind: Hitler..there was a painter! He could paint an entire
 apartment in ONE afternoon! TWO coats!!

Max Bialystock: You're an accountant! You're in a noble profession!
 The word "count" is part of your title!

Max Bialystock: You have exactly ten seconds to change that look of
 disgusting pity into one of enormous respect!

Leo Bloom: I'm in pain and I'm wet and I'm still hysterical!!
@
#PROFESSIONAL, THE (1994)
Mathilda: Leon, what exactly do you do for a living?
Leon: I'm a cleaner.
Mathilda: You mean you're a hitman.
Leon: Yeah.
Mathilda: Cool.

Stansfield: Do you like life, sweetheart?
Mathilda: Yes.
Stansfield: That's good, because I take no pleasure in taking a life
 if it's from a person who doesn't care about it.

Tony: One thing has got nothing to do with the other. Remember that,
 Leon.
@
#PROFESSIONALS, THE (1966)
{Last lines}
J.W. Grant: You bastard.
Rico: Yes sir. In my case an accident of birth. But you... You're a
 self-made man.
@
#PSYCHO (1960)
Norman Bates: I think I must have one of those faces you can't help
 believing.

Norman Bates: She just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a
 little mad sometimes. Haven't you?

Norman Bates: I'm not capable of being fooled! Not even by a woman.

Norman Bates: Uh-uh, Mother-m-mother, uh, what is the phrase? She
 isn't quite herself today.

Norman Bates: She might have fooled me, but she didn't fool my mother.

Norman Bates: Well, a son is a poor substitute for a lover.

Norman Bates: She's as harmless as one of those stuffed birds.

Norman Bates: A boy's best friend is his mother.
@
#PULP FICTION (1994)
Vincent Vega: And you know what they call a ... a ... a Quarter
 Pounder with cheese in Paris?
Jules: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?
Vincent Vega: No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know
 what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is.
Jules: Then what do they call it?
Vincent Vega: They call it a "Royale" with cheese.
Jules: A "Royale" with cheese! What do they call a Big Mac?
Vincent Vega: A Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it "le Big-Mac".
Jules: "Le Big-Mac"! Ha ha ha ha! What do they call a Whopper?
Vincent Vega: I dunno, I didn't go into Burger King.

Jules: Check out the big brain on Brett!

{Jules shoots the guy on the couch during Brett's interrogation}
Jules: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?

{Ezekiel 25:17 among others}
Jules: The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the
 inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is
 he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak
 through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper
 and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee
 with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to
 poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the
 Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

{Vincent Vega goes up to Butch at the bar}
Butch: What're you looking at, friend?
Vincent Vega: I ain't your friend, Palooka.
Butch: What did you say?
Vincent Vega: I think you heard me just fine, Punchy.

{After a long pause in their conversation}
Mia Wallace: Don't you hate that?
Vincent Vega: Hate what?
Mia Wallace: Uncomfortable silences.

{Vincent Vega says goodnight to Mia Wallace after her overdose almost
 turned their night out into a disaster}
Vincent Vega: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go home and have a
 heart attack.

Butch: I think I have a broken rib.
Fabienne: From giving me oral pleasure?

Fabienne: Whose motorcycle is this?
Butch: It's a chopper, baby.
Fabienne: Whose chopper is this?
Butch: It's Zed's.
Fabienne: Who's Zed?
Butch: Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead.

{Butch, the boxer, is asked his name by the cabdriver taking him on
 his getaway}
Esmerelda Villalobos: What is your name?
Butch: Butch.
Esmerelda Villalobos: What does it mean?
Butch: I'm American, honey, our names don't mean shit.

{Jules and Vinnie take Marvin with them in their car and Vinnie's gun
 goes off and blows Marvin's head off}
Jules: Oh! Fuck's happening!
Vincent Vega: Man, I shot Marvin in the face.
Jules: Why the fuck did you do that! Oh man I've seen some crazy ass
 shit in my time!
Vincent Vega: Chill out, man. I told you it was an accident. You
 probably went over a bump or something.
Jules: Hey, the car didn't hit no motherfucking bump.
Vincent Vega: Hey, look man, I didn't mean to shoot the son of a
 bitch! The gun went off. I don't know why.
Jules: Well look at this fucking mess, man. We're on a city street in
 broad daylight.
Vincent Vega: I don't believe it.
Jules: Well believe it now, motherfucker! We gotta get this car off
 the road. You know cops tend to notice shit like your driving a car
 drenched in fucking blood.
Vincent Vega: Take it to a friendly place, that's all.
Jules: We're in the Valley, Vincent! Marsellus ain't got no friendly
 places in the Valley.
Vincent Vega: Well Jules this ain't my fucking town! Shit! What you
 doin'?
{Jules dials a number on his cellular phone}
Jules: I'm calling my partner in Taluka Lake.
Vincent Vega: Where's Taluka Lake?
Jules: Just over the hill here over by Burbank Studios. If Jimmy's
 ass ain't home, I don't what the fuck we're going to do, man. 'Cause
 I ain't got no other partners in 8-1-8. Hey Jimmy, yo, how you
 doin'? It's Jules. Listen up man. Me and my homeboy are in
 serious fucking shit. We're in a car and we gotta get off the road,
 pronto. I need to use your garage for a couple of hours.

{Winston Wolf takes exception to Vincent's taking exception to his
 brusque manner}
Winston Wolf: So, pretty please - with sugar on top ... clean the
 fuckin' car!

Vincent Vega: Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops tastes gooood.

Jules: I'm a mushroom cloud laying motherfucker, motherfucker.

{Vincent Vega trains his gun on Pumpkin, the failed diner robber, who
 is getting generously treated by Jules}
Vincent Vega: Jules, if you give that fuckin' nimrod fifteen hundred
 dollars, I'm gonna shoot him on general principles!
@
#PUMP UP THE VOLUME (1991)
Mark Hunter: Feeling screwed up at a screwed up time in a screwed up
 place does not necessarily make you screwed up.

Hard Harry: Sometimes being a teenager is worse than being dead.

Marla Hunter: We think you should see a psychiatrist.
Mark Hunter: Is it that obvious?
@
#PYRATES (1991)
Ari: Would you like...
Sam: To fuck?
Ari: No, a drink.
@
#RACE FOR THE DOUBLE HELIX, THE (TV)
Watson: A humiliated Linus is a dangerous Linus.
Crick: A Linus cheated of his prey.
@
#RAGING BULL (1980)
{Sugar Ray Robinson has just battered Jake La Motta half to death, but
 Jake has stayed on his feet}
Jake La Motta: You didn't get me down, Ray.

Joey LaMotta to Jake LaMotta: If you win, you win. If you lose, you
 still win!
@
#RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981)
Indiana Jones: There's a big snake in the plane, Jock!
Jock: Oh, that's just my pet snake Reggie.
Indiana Jones: I hate snakes, Jock! I hate 'em!
Jock: C'mon, show a little backbone, will ya?

Marion Ravenwood: Well, Jones, at least you haven't forgotten how to
 show a lady a good time!
Indiana Jones: Boy, you're something!
Marion Ravenwood: Yeah? I'll tell you what. Until I get back my five
 thousand dollars, you're gonna get more than you bargained for. I'm
 your goddamn partner!

Marion Ravenwood: You're not the same man I knew ten years ago.
Indiana Jones: It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage.

{Army Intelligence officer describing Indiana Jones}
Officer: Professor of archeology, expert on the occult, and how does
 one say it? Obtainer of rare antiquities.

Sallah: Indy, there is something that troubles me.
Indiana Jones: What is it?
Sallah: The Ark. If it is there, at Tanis, then it is something that
 man was not meant to disturb. Death has always surrounded it. It
 is not of this earth.

Indiana Jones: You want to talk to God? Let's go see him together,
 I've got nothing better to do!

Rene Belloq: You and I are very much alike. Archeology is our
 religion, yet we have both fallen from the pure faith. Our methods
 have not differed as much as you pretend. I am but a shadowy
 reflection of you. It would take only a nudge to make you like me.
 To push you out of the light.
Indiana Jones: Now you're getting nasty.

Sallah: Indy, why does the floor move?
Indiana Jones: Snakes ... why'd it hafta be snakes?
Sallah: Asps ... very dangerous. You go first.

Indiana Jones: This site also demonstrates one of the great dangers of
 archeology, not to life and limb, although that does sometimes take
 place, I'm talking about folklore.

Sallah: Indy, you have no time. If you still want the ark, it is
 being loaded onto a truck for Cairo.
Indiana Jones: Truck? What truck?

Belloq: Dr. Jones. Again we see there is nothing you can possess
 which I cannot take away.

Belloq: So once again, Jones, what was briefly yours is now mine.

Belloq: What a fitting end to your life's pursuits. You're about to
 become a permanent addition to this archaeological find. Who knows?
 In a thousand years, even you may be worth something.
@
#RAINMAKER, THE (1956)
H.C. Curry: I don't believe in rainmakers.
Bill Starbuck: What DO ya believe in mistah? Dyin' cattle?
@
#RAMBLING ROSE (1991)
Rose: I am only a human being person!

Daddy: Put your damn tit back in your dress ... replace that tit!
@
#RAW DEAL (1986)
Kaminski: You should not drink and bake!
@
#RE-ANIMATOR (1985)
Herbert West: Who's going to believe a talking head? Get a job in a
 sideshow.

{Visiting the morgue}
Dan Cain: What if we get caught?
Herbert West: What'll they do? Embalm us?

{Re-re-animating the dead cat in the basement}
Herbert West: Don't expect it to tango; it has a broken back.

Herbert West: I must say, Dr. Hill, I'm VERY disappointed in you. You
 steal the secret of life and death, and here you are trysting with a
 bubble-headed coed. You're not even a second-rate scientist!
@
#REAL GENIUS (1985)
Old Lady: Tell me, what's Einstein really like?
Professor Hathaway: Dead.

Chris Knight: This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when
 it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to
 people when they get too sexually frustrated.

{Mitch Taylor speaking through the microphone so that Kent hears
 voices in his head}
Mitch Taylor: And from now on, stop playing with yourself!
Kent: It is God!

Mitch Taylor: The weirdest thing just happened to me.
Chris Knight: Was it a dream where you were standing in sort of
 sun-god robes on top of a pyramid, and there were hundreds of naked
 women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Mitch Taylor: No...
Chris Knight: Why, am I the only one who has that dream?

Chris Knight: If you think that by threatening me you can get me to do
 what you want... Well, that's where you're right. But -- and I am
 only saying that because I care -- there's a lot of decaffeinated
 brands on the market that are just as tasty as the real thing.

Chris Knight: Would you be prepared if gravity reversed itself?

Professor Hathaway: What are you looking at? You're laborers; you
 should be laboring. That's what you get for not having an
 education.

Professor Hathaway: Mitch, will you miss your friends?
Mitch Taylor: Uh, no sir, I think I intimidated most of them.

{Chris Knight is trying to hit on Cynthia, a beautiful woman he finds
 in Professor Hathaway's house}
Chris Knight: So, if there's anything I can do for you, or, more to
 the point, to you, you just let me know.
Cynthia: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your
 penis?
Chris Knight: Not right now.
Cynthia: A girl's gotta have her standards.
{She walks out}

Kent: You're all a bunch of degenerates!
Chris Knight: Oh, really? Well, what about that time I found you
 naked with that bowl of jello?
Kent: You did not!
Chris Knight: This is true.
Kent: Yeah, well I was hot and I was hungry!

Mitch Taylor: Did you know there's a guy living in our closet?
Chris Knight: You've seen him too?
Mitch Taylor: Who is he?
Chris Knight: Hollyfeld.
Mitch Taylor: Why does he keep going into our closet?
Chris Knight: Why do you keep going into our closet?
Mitch Taylor: To get my clothes - but that's not why he goes in there!
Chris Knight: Of course not, he's twice your size - your clothes would
 never fit him!
Mitch Taylor: Yeah...
Chris Knight: Think before you ask these questions, Mitch! Twenty
 points higher than me? Thinks a big guy like that can wear his
 clothes?

Chris Knight: Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words
 of Socrates, when he said, "I drank what?"
@
#REAL MCCOY, THE (1993)
{J.T. Barker comes out of the bank and is questioned what he was doing
 in there. He said he was closing up his account}
Bad Guy: What the hell are you gonna do with a 152 dollars? We're
 taking 18 God damn million dollars out of here on Thursday!
J.T. Barker: I know that. I just don't wanna split *my* 152 dollars 4
 ways...

{Karen McCoy tries to fire the gun in a gunfight}
Karen McCoy: You didn't load the gun?
J.T. Barker: You told me to buy it, not to load it.

J.T. Barker: Do you think that jerk Roy do a better job raising your
 boy than you?
Karen McCoy: At least Roy is his father. At least he has a chance of
 a normal life with him...
J.T. Barker: Normal??? What's not normal about getting on an airplane
 with your mam and go down to Rio with 3 million bucks?

J.T. Barker: How many of these creeps have you got in your life?
@
#REALITY BITES (1994)
Troy Dyer: I am not under any orders to make the world a better place.

Lelaina Pierce: So, uh, what religion are you?
Michael Grates: I'm kind of a non-practicing Jew.
Lelaina Pierce: That's okay. I'm a non-practicing virgin.

Vickie Miner: And I think about dying of AIDS all the time. I even
 dream about it. Only in my dreams, I'm not me: I'm a character on
 "Melrose Place". I'm the HIV/AIDS character. I move into the
 building and teach everyone that it's okay to be close to me. And
 then I die, and everyone shows up at my funeral, and they're all
 wearing halter tops and chokers.
{Vickie Miner starts to cry}
Lelaina Pierce: Vicki, you do not have AIDS and you are *not* alone.
 Besides... "Melrose Place" is a really good show!
@
#REAR WINDOW (1954)
Stella: A murderer would never parade his crime in front of an open
 window.
@
#REBECCA (1940)
Maxim De Winter: I knew where Rebecca's body was, lying on that cabin
 floor at the bottom of the sea.
Mrs. de Winter: How did you know, Max?
Maxim De Winter: Because I put it there.
@
#RED DUST (1932)
{After being slapped by Vantine}
Dennis Carson: All right. If that makes you feel any better.
@
#RED RIVER (1948)
Tom Dunson: Take 'em to Missouri, Matt!
@
#REF, THE (1994)
Rose: You're a "Wang"?
Gus: Well, my mother was Irish.
Rose: And your father?
Gus: Wasn't.

Lloyd to Rose: You know what I'm going to get you next Christmas, Mom?
 A big wooden cross, so that every time you feel unappreciated for
 your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it.

Gus to Rose: Your husband ain't dead, lady; he's hidin'.
@
#REMAINS OF THE DAY, THE (1993)
James Stevens: I don't believe a man can consider himself fully
 content until he has done all he can to be of service to his
 employer.
@
#REMO WILLIAMS: THE ADVENTURE BEGINS... (1985)
Chiun: Watches are a confidence trick invented by the Swiss.

Chiun: It would be better for you to eat this can than what's in it.

Remo Williams: There are times when I really like you.
Chiun: 'Course! I am Chiun!
Remo Williams: ... and there are times when I want to kill you.
Chiun: Good! We will practice that after dinner...

Remo Williams: You know, Chiun, you can be a real pain in the ass!
Chiun: That is because it is the shortest route to your brain.
@
#REPO MAN (1984)
Bud: A repo man spends his life getting into tense situations.

Miller: The life of a repo man is always intense.

Bud: Look at 'em, ordinary fucking people, I hate 'em.

Miller: The more you drive, the less intelligent you are.

Miller: It happens sometimes. People just explode. Natural causes.

Reverend Larry: I DO want your money, because god wants your money!

Mrs. Maddox: Put it on a plate, son. You'll enjoy it more.
Otto Maddox: Couldn't enjoy it any more, Mom. Mm, mm, mmm.

Miller: John Wayne was a fag.
All: The hell he was!
Miller: He was, too, you boys. I installed two-way mirrors in his pad
 in Brentwood, and he come to the door in a dress.
@
#RESERVOIR DOGS (1992)
{Mr. Pink comes and sees that Mr. Orange is shot in the stomach}
Mr. Pink: Is it bad?
Mr. White: As opposed to good?

{Mr. White and Mr. Pink are washing up after the robbery went sour,
 trying to figure out what happened}
Mr. Pink: You kill anybody?
Mr. White: A few cops.
Mr. Pink: No real people?
Mr. White: Just cops.

Mr. Pink: Somebody's shoved a red-hot poker up our ass, and I want to
 know who's name is on the handle!

Mr. Blonde: If you're talking like a bitch, I'm gonna slap you like a
 bitch!

Mr. Blonde: Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna
 bite?

Mr. Blonde: Gee, that was really exciting. I bet you're a big Lee
 Marvin fan, aren't you?

Mr. White: You shoot me in a dream, you'd better wake up and
 apologize.

Joe Cabot: Let's go to work.

Mr. White: The choice between doing ten years and taking out some
 stupid motherfucker, ain't no choice at all. But I ain't no madman.

{Nice Guy Eddie asks if anyone knows what happened to Mr. Blue}
Mr. Blonde: Either he's alive or he's dead, or the cops got him ... or
 they don't.

Mr. Blonde to Marvin's severed ear: Hey, what's goin' on?
Mr. Blonde to Marvin Nash: Did you hear that?
@
#RETURN OF SWAMP THING, THE (1989)
Swamp Thing: Me? Your Boyfriend?
Abby Arcane: Why not?
Swamp Thing: You said it yourself: I'm a plant.
Abby Arcane: That's okay, I'm a vegetarian.
@
#RETURN OF THE JEDI (1983)
Emperor Palpatine: Everything that has transpired has done so
 according to my design.

Emperor Palpatine: Soon the Rebellion will be crushed and young
 Skywalker will be one of us!

Jabba the Hutt: This bounty hunter is my kind of scum: fearless and
 inventive.

Jabba the Hutt: Bring me Solo and the Wookiee! They will all suffer
 for this outrage.

Han Solo: I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of a big dark
 blur I see a big light blur.
Luke Skywalker: There's nothing to see. I used to live here you know.
Han Solo: You're gonna die here you know. Convenient.

C-3PO: I do believe they think I am some kind of god.
Han Solo: Well, why don't you use your divine influence and get us out
 of this?
C-3PO: I beg your pardon General Solo, but that just wouldn't be
 proper.
Han Solo: Proper???
C-3PO: It's against my programming to impersonate a deity.

Luke Skywalker: If I don't make it back, you're the only hope for the
 Alliance.
Princess Leia: Luke, don't talk that way. You have a power I don't
 understand and could never have.
Luke Skywalker: You're wrong, Leia. You have that power too. In time
 you'll learn to use it as I have. The Force runs strong in my
 family. My father has it. I have it. And... my sister has it.
 Yes. It's you, Leia.
Princess Leia: I know. Somehow, I've always known.

Luke Skywalker: Your overconfidence is your weakness.
Emperor Palpatine: Your faith in your friends is yours.

Han Solo: I love you.
Princess Leia Organa: I know.
@
#REVENGE OF THE NERDS (1984)
Lewis Scholnic: Cause all jocks ever think about is sports, all we
 ever think about is sex.
@
#REVENGE OF THE PINK PANTHER (1978)
{Philippe Douvier just set up a trap for Chief Inspector Jacques
 Clouseau and "invited" him to it with a phone call}
Simone Le Gree: That's so obvious, he's bound to think it's a trap...
Philippe Douvier: Yes, or it's so obvious that he's bound to think it
 can't be a trap.
Cato: It's so obvious, it's bound to be a trap.
Jacques Clouseau: That is why you'll never be a great detective, Cato.
 It's so obvious that it could not possibly be a trap.

Jacques Clouseau: Now, this time *I'm* going to stand on *your*
 shoulders!
Cato: What good will that do?
Jacques Clouseau: Because I'm taller than you are, you fool!
@
#RIDE THE HIGH COUNTRY (1962)
Steve Judd: All I want is to enter my house justified.
@
#RIFFRAFF (1947)
{Hammer, annoyed with a bar hustler, sends him crashing into a table}
Bar proprietor: You shouldn't do that, Mr. Hammer. It gives the place
 a bad reputation.
Dan Hammer: You mean a worse reputation.

Dan Hammer: Guys around bars talk. Anything you can find out will be
 worth fifty.
Maxine Manning: No thanks. That wouldn't keep me in aspirin.
@
#RIGHT STUFF, THE (1983)
{opening line}
Ridley (narrating): There was a demon that lived in the air. They
 said whoever challenged him would die. His controls would freeze
 up, his plane would buffet wildly, and he would disintegrate. The
 demon lived at Mach 1 on the meter, seven hundred and fifty miles an
 hour, where the air could no longer move out of the way. He lived
 behind a barrier through which they said no man would ever pass.
 They called it the sound barrier.

Chuck Yeager: Hey Ridley, you got any Beeman's?
Ridley: Yeah, I got me a stick.
Chuck Yeager: Well loan me some, will you? I'll pay you back later.
Ridley: Fair enough.

Alan Shepard: Request permission to relieve bladder.

Gordon Cooper: Who was the best pilot I ever saw? You're lookin' at
 'im.
@
#RISING SUN (1993)
Web Smith: Where are you from, "sempai"? Scotland Yard?
John Connor: Scotland Backyard.
@
#RISKY BUSINESS (1983)
{Joel Goodson's parents are away for the weekend}
Miles: Joel, you wanna know something? Every now and then say, "What
 the fuck." "What the fuck" gives you freedom. Freedom brings
 opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.

Miles: Say "what the fuck." ...If you can't say it, you can't do it.

{Lana is the prostitute Joel has hired using an alias}
Lana: Are you ready for me ... Ralph?

Joel's Mother: Please Joel, do what they say, just get off the
 babysitter.

Joel Goodson: It seems to me that if there were any logic to our
 language, trust would be a four letter word.

{last line}
Joel Goodson: My name is Joel Goodson. I deal in human fulfillment.
 I grossed over $8000 in one night. Time of your life, huh kid?
@
#ROAD TO UTOPIA (1945)
Chester Hooton: I'll have a lemonade. {sees looks of surprise,
 snarls} In a dirty glass.
@
#ROAD HOUSE (1948)
Lily: Well, I'm Lil Stevens, the new entertainer from Chicago. Right
 now I'd like to sleep.
Pete: Oh. The new equipment.

Sam: Hey, Susie! What do you think of this one? She's somethin', isn't
 she?
Susie: If you like the sound of gravel.

Susie: She does more without a voice than anybody I've ever heard!
@
#ROADIE (1980)
Travis Redfish: Better a Redfish than a Deadfish.

Various persons: Everything will work out, if you let it.

B. B. Muldoone: Uh oh. Travis has a brainlock.
@
#ROARING TWENTIES, THE (1939)
{last line}
Cop: Who is he?
Panama Smith: He used to be a bigshot.
@
#ROBERT A. HEINLEIN'S THE PUPPET MASTERS (1994)
{After Sam rescues Andrew by shooting him}
Andrew musingly: I can't believe you shot me.
Sam: Well, what would you have done?
Andrew nonchalant: Oh, I'd have shot you, of course.
@
#ROBIN AND MARIAN (1976)
{Robin Hood comes back from the Crusades}
Maid Marian: You never wrote.
Robin Hood: I don't know how.
@
#ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES (1991)
Azeem: The hospitality in this country is as warm as the weather.

Sheriff of Nottingham: Locksley, I'm gonna cut your heart out with a
 spoon.

Sheriff of Nottingham: ...cancel the kitchen scraps for lepers and
 orphans, no more merciful beheadings... And call off Christmas.

Sheriff of Nottingham to a wench: You! My room. 10:30 tonight.
Sheriff of Nottingham to another wench: You! 10:45... And bring a
 friend.

{Talking about how many men that are about to be ambushed}
Robin of Locksley: How many?
Azeem: 20.
Robin of Locksley: 20?
Bull further away: How many?
Robin of Locksley: 5!
Robin of Locksley to Azeem: He can't count anyway.

Friar Tuck: This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the
 Lord intended a more divine means of consumption. Let us give
 praise to our maker and glory to his bounty by learning about...
 BEER!

Mortianna: ...recruit the beasts that share our god.
Sheriff of Nottingham: Animals?
Mortianna: From the North!
Sheriff of Nottingham: You mean.. CELTS! They drink the blood of
 their dead.
Mortianna: Yoke their strength.
Sheriff of Nottingham: Hired thugs... Ahh brilliant.
@
#ROBOCOP (1987)
Clarence: Bitches leave!
@
#ROBOCOP 2 (1990)
{Robocop shoots at man with cigarette}
Robocop: Thank you for not smoking.
@
#ROCKETEER, THE (1991)
Jenny: The Rocke-who?
@
#ROCKY (1976)
Adrian: Why do you wanta fight?
Rocky Balboa: Because I can't sing or dance.
@
#ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW, THE (1975)
Doctor Frank-N-Furter: How do you do? I see you've met my faithful
 handyman.

Doctor Frank-N-Furter: Don't dream it, Be it.

Doctor Frank-N-Furter: Give yourself over to absolute pleasure...

Doctor Frank-N-Furter: Because I've seen blue skies, through the tears
 in my eyes. And I realize, I'm going home.

Doctor Frank-N-Furter: It's not easy having a good time! ... Even
 smiling makes my face ache!
@
#ROPE (1948)
Brandon: The good Americans usually die young on the battlefield,
 don't they? Well, the Davids of the world merely occupy space,
 which is why he was the perfect victim for the perfect crime.

Brandon: We killed for the sake of danger and for the sake of killing.

Brandon: Nobody commits murder just for the experience of committing
 it. Nobody except us.
@
#ROXANNE (1987)
{Roxanne Kowalski is walking behind a hedge because she is nude}
Roxanne Kowalski: Nobody had a coat?
C.D. Bayles: You said you didn't want a coat...
Roxanne Kowalski: Why would I not want a coat?
C.D. Bayles: You said you didn't want a coat...
Roxanne Kowalski: I was being ironic.
C.D. Bayles: Oh, irony! Oh no no, we don't get that here. See,
 people are skiing topless while smoking dope, so irony is not really
 a high priority... We haven't had any irony here since about 83
 when I was the only practitioner of it. Was nice, but I was tired
 of being stared at.

C.D. Bayles: Well, every job has its perfect tool... Eh, this lock
 doesn't accept Master Card.

C.D. Bayles: Fashionable: You know you could de-emphasize your nose if
 you wore something larger... like Wyoming!

C.D. Bayles: Polite: Would you mind not bobbing your head; the
 orchestra keeps changing the tempo.

Dixie: Want anything? A drink?
C.D. Bayles: Yeah, but if I ask for another one, give it to me.
@
#RUNESTONE, THE (1992)
Fanducci: What's your name, officer?
Strange: It's Strange, Sir.
Fanducci: I don't care how f***ing strange it is.
Strange: No Sir, it's officer Strange.
@
#RUNNING MAN, THE (1987)
Ben Richards: I'm not into politics. I'm into survival.

{Damon Killian is talking to the operator on the telephone}
Damon Killian: Hello, this is Killian. Give me the Justice
 Department, Entertainment Division.

Damon Killian: This is television! It isn't about people, it's about
 ratings! So what do we do? We give 'em what they want!

Ben Richards: Now I'm gonna untie you, and then you're gonna get
 dressed, and then you're gonna come with me.
Amber: Oh yeah? But why should I?
Ben Richards: Because I'm gonna say "please"...
{Arnold tears up the bench Amber is tied to from the floor it was
 bolted to}
Amber: Well, why didn't you say so?

Ben Richards: Killian! I'll be back!
Damon Killian: Only in a rerun.

Damon Killian: You bastard! Drop dead!
Ben Richards: I don't do requests.
@
#S.O.B. (1981)
Miles, Sally: I am going to show my boobies. Are you here to see my
 boobies?
@
#SAINT OF FORT WASHINGTON, THE (1993)
{Glover, Danny}: Maybe you ain't schizophrenic. Maybe you're just
 insane.
@
#SAMSON AND DELILAH (1949)
Samson: The oldest trick in the world. Silk trap, baited with a woman.
Delilah: You know a better bait, Samson? Men *always* respond.

Saran of Gaza: He was not captured by force of arms, but by their
 softness.
@
#SAPS AT SEA (1940)
Oliver: Where is the basement?
Desk clerk: Downstairs.
Stan: Which way is the alley?
Desk clerk: Out in the street.
@
#SCENT OF A WOMAN (1992)
Colonel Roy Slade: Don't shrug you imbecile, I'm blind! Save the body
 language for the bimbae.
@
#SCHOOL FOR SCOUNDRELS (1960)
{last line. Mr S. Potter to the camera}
Mr S. Potter: I do apologize ladies and gentlemen, events do seem to
 have taken a most unfortunate turn. This sort of calamity we cannot
 always guard against, even amongst our best students. You see once,
 once sincerity rears its ugly head, well lifemanship is
 powerless... {an orchestra starts to play} stop that music...
 orchestra!... orchestra... stop that infernal din. Please, no,
 I... look at me, I must get back to Yeovil.
@
#SCROOGED (1988)
Frank "Lumpy" Cross: I can't get these antlers attached to the mice.
Props man: Try staples.
@
#SERIAL MOM (1994)
Rosemary Ackerman: I tell you I saw blood on the bottom of her shoes,
 not exactly blood, it was gore, hanging there like a runny nose.
@
#SET-UP, THE (1949)
Stoker: Yeah, top spot. And I'm just one punch away.
Julie: I remember the first time you told me that. You were just one
 punch away from the title shot then. Don't you see, Bill, you'll
 always be just one punch away.

Stoker: Well, that's the way it is. You're a fighter, you gotta fight.

Red: I tell you, Tiny, you gotta let him in on it.
Tiny: How many times I gotta say it? There's no percentage in
 smartenin' up a chump.
@
#SEVEN SINNERS (1940)
District Officer: There've been a half a dozen complaints since you
 came to that cafe.
Bijou: A half-dozen! Why not fifty? I'm surprised.

Lt. Dan Brent: Imagine finding you here.
Bijou: I'm the type of girl you're liable to find anywhere.
@
#SEX WITH A SMILE (1976)
"One For The Money" male: One million in each envelope. Twenty
 envelopes, that's twenty million! Uh, Italian lire, but that's
 better than nothing...
@
#SHADOW OF A DOUBT (1993)
Charlie Oakley: The whole world is a joke to me.
@
#SHADOWLANDS (1993)
Harry: Christopher can scoff, Jack, but I know how hard you've been
 praying; and now God is answering your prayers.
C. S. Lewis: That's not why I pray, Harry. I pray because I can't
 help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need
 flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn't
 change God, it changes me.

Joy Gresham: We can't have the happiness of yesterday without the pain
 of today. That's the deal.

C. S. Lewis: Pain is God's megaphone to rouse a deaf world.
@
#SHALL WE DANCE? (1937)
Peter P. Peters: I told you, I haven't even met her. But I'd kinda
 like to marry her. ...I think I will.
@
#SHANGHAI GESTURE, THE
Poppy: You said Doctor Omar. Doctor of what?
Omar: Doctor of nothing, Miss Smith. It sounds important and hurts no
 one. Unlike most doctors.
@
#SHE'S GOTTA HAVE IT (1986)
Dog 7: Baby, you're so fine, I'd drink a tub of your bath water.

Mars Blackmon begging Nola not to dump him: Please baby, pleasebaby,
 please baby, baby baby please!

Nola Darling: It's really about control, my body, my mind. Who was
 going to own it? Them? Or me? I'm not a one-man woman. Bottom line.
@
#SHINING, THE (1980)
Jack Torrance: Wendy, darling, light of my life, I'm not going to hurt
 you. I'm gonna kill you.

Jack Torrance To Wendy Torrance: Here's Johnny!
@
#SHOPPING (1994)
Billy: I know my rights. I watch L.A.Law.
Police Inspector: Is that supposed to be funny?
Billy: No, more like comedy-drama.

Billy to Jo: Oh shit, the police brought a fucking transit van to a
 car chase.

Billy to Jo: This is the 90s. Sex isn't safe any more.
@
#SHOT IN THE DARK, A (1964)
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Facts, Hercule, ... facts! Nothing
 matters but the facts. Without them the science of criminal
 investigation is nothing more than a guessing game.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You are forgetting the most important fact
 ... motive.

Hercule LaJoy: He beat her.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: He was Spanish!
Hercule LaJoy: He tore her dress off.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Oh, don't be ridiculous .... Would you
 kill someone who tore your dress off?

Maria Gambrelli: Tell me ... why do so many men smoke afterwards? No
 wonder tobacco companies get rich.

{Accusing a suspect, millionaire Benjamin Ballon}
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: And I submit, Inspector Ballon, that you
 arrived home, found Miguel with Maria Gambrelli, and killed him in a
 rit of fealous jage!

Commissioner Charles Dreyfus: Give me ten men like Clouseau and I
 could destroy the world.

{Arriving at Camp Sunshine}
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I am here on official business and I am
 looking for someone in the recreation area.
Turk Thrust: Not unless you take off your clothes ...
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You, sir, are under arrest.
Turk Thrust: Arrest? What for?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: For making lewd and suggestive remarks to
 an official of the French government.
Turk Thrust: Lewd and suggestive remarks?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Also for indecent exposure ... doesn't
 anyone wear any clothes around here?
Turk Thrust: No.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: What!
Turk Thrust: This is a nudist colony.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: There is something ... personal ... in
 this?
Commissioner Charles Dreyfus: Yes ... deeply personal ... I hate you
 ... every little bit of you .... Now get out!
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You want me to leave?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well ... that just goes to prove what I
 have said all along.
Commissioner Charles Dreyfus: What you've said, Clouseau, qualifies
 you as the greatest prophet since Custer said he was going to
 surround all those Indians!

Commissioner Charles Dreyfus: What about the maid?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: The maid?
Commissioner Charles Dreyfus: Was he jealous of her too? He strangled
 her.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: It is possible that his intended victim
 was a man and that he made a mistake.
Commissioner Charles Dreyfus: Mistake? ... in a nudist camp?
@
#SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, THE (1991)
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: A census taker once tried to test me... I ate
 his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

Dr. Hannibal Lecter: I do wish we could chat longer, but I'm having an
 old friend for dinner.
@
#SILVERADO (1985)
{Emmett saves Paden's life with a sip of water from his canteen after
 discovering him abandoned and baking in the desert.}
Paden: Pleased to meet you.

Paden: They just jumped you out of the blue?
Emmett: I had to get up anyway.

{Paden has gotten his horse back and they're "kissing" each other.}
Marshall: How do I know this is your horse?
Paden: Can't you see this horse loves me?
Marshall: I had a gal do that to me. It didn't make her my wife.

Hobart: Baxter! Hawley! Where the hell've you been? You're late and
 I tell you, I don't like it. It's a bad start, boys. I got my
 people down there throwin' snowballs and rarin' to go.
Emmett: I'm afraid it is a bad start, friend, 'cause my name ain't
 Baxter, he ain't Hawley.
Hobart: You're not Baxter?
Emmett: Name's Emmett.
Hobart: You're not Baxter either?
Paden: No, I'm not *Hawley*.

Sheriff Langston: What's all this, then?

Mal: Mister, you got a lot to learn about people.

Hannah: I want to build something. Make things grow. That takes hard
 work. A lifetime of it. That's not why a man comes to a pretty
 woman. After a while I won't be so pretty. But this land will be.

Mal: Now I don't wanna kill you, and you don't wanna be dead.
@
#SINGAPORE (1947)
Linda: So let me ruin you fast.
Matt Gordon: How many have you ruined?
Linda: You're my last victim, darling.
@
#SINGIN' IN THE RAIN (1952)
Cosmo: Talking pictures, that means, that i'm out of a job. At last I
 can start suffering and write out that symphony.
Simpson: You're not out of job, we're putting you in as head of our
 new music department.
Cosmo: Oh, thanks. At last I can stop suffering and write that
 symphony.

Lena Lamont: Why, I make more money than Calvin Coolidge, put
 together!

Lena Lamont: I am a shimmering, glowing star in the cinema firmament.
@
#SIXTEEN CANDLES (1984)
Long Duk Dong: No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food.

Geek: Can I borrow your underpants for 10 minutes?

Grandmother: And they are so perky.
Samantha: I can't believe my grandmother actually felt me up.
@
#SLEEPER (1973)
{A 22nd century historian is showing Miles some artifacts from the
 late twentieth century to get more info on them. The last item is a
 videotape of Howard Cosell describing a boxing match}
Historian: We weren't sure at first what to make of this, but we
 developed a theory: When people committed great crimes against the
 state, they were forced to watch this.
Miles Monroe: Yes. That's exactly what it was.
@
#SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE (1993)
Jonah Baldwin: Talk to her dad. She's a doctor.
Samuel Baldwin: Of what? Her first name could be Doctor...

{The Taxi Driver takes Jonah to the Empire State Building}
Taxi Driver: There it is. What are you gonna do when you get up
 there? Spit off the top?
@
#SNEAKERS (1992)
{Abbott asks them what they want in return for the decryption chip}
Whistler: I want peace on earth and good will toward man.
Bernard Abbott: Oh this is ridiculous.
Martin Bishop: He's serious.
Whistler: I want peace on earth and good will toward man.
Bernard Abbott: We are the United States Government. We don't do that
 sort of thing.
Martin Bishop: You're just gonna have to try.
Bernard Abbott: Ok, I'll see what I can do.
Whistler: Thank you very much. That's all I ask.

Cosmo: I cannot kill my friend. {to his henchman} Kill my friend.
@
#SNOWED UNDER (1936)
Pat Quinn: Last summer you wouldn't have turned me out in the snow.
Alan Tanner: Last summer there wasn't any snow.

Pat Quinn: With me by his side, he wouldn't get into jams!
Alice Merritt: When I was married to him, it was jam for breakfast,
 jam for lunch, and jam for dinner.
@
#SO I MARRIED AN AXE MURDERER (1993)
Charlie Mackenzie: I think I'm dating Mrs. X!

Harriet Michaels: What do you look for in a girl on your date?
Charlie Mackenzie: I know everyone always say a sense of humour, but I
 really have to go with breast size...

Charlie Mackenzie: Didn't I order the LARGE capuccino?

Stuart Mackenzie: Would ya look at the size of that kid's head!!!
 It's the size of a planetoid and it has it's own weather system!!!
 Look's like an orange on a toothpick!!!

Stuart Mackenzie: I think I've been a bit hard on the lad, he's going
 to cry himself to bed tonight, on his HUGE pillow.

Stuart Mackenzie: Let's get Pissed!!!

May Mackenzie: You're a wee sexy little bastard, aren't ya!!!

Tony Giardino: Excuse me sir, I'm with the San Francisco police
 department, this is official police business. I would like to
 commandeer this vehicle!
Commandeered Driver: ... no.
Tony Giardino: What do you mean "no"?
Commandeered Driver: I happen to know for a fact that you have no
 right to commandeer my vehicle.
Tony Giardino: Please... Can I commandeer this vehicle?
Commandeered Driver: ... no.
Tony Giardino: You're just not going to bend on this commandeering
 thing are you?
Commandeered Driver: ... no.
@
#SOLDIER IN THE RAIN (1963)
Slaughter: The machine prefers cash.

Clay: Stay off my mattresses.

Slaughter: Let me tell you something, my friend: being a fat
 narcissist isn't easy.
@
#SOLDIER OF ORANGE (1977)
{English officer gives Gus a cyanide pill}
English officer: Should anything go wrong, cyanide.
Gus: What flavor? Orange or lemon?
@
#SOME GIRLS (1989)
{After the telephone interrupts Michael and Gabriella's foreplay,
 Michael starts talking to his penis}
Michael: I don't believe this. Do you believe this?
@
#SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL (1987)
Keith Nelson: You can't judge a book by its cover.
Watts: Yeah, but you can tell how much it's gonna cost.

{In the locker room}
Girl: I've just never seen a girl wearing boys underpants before.
Watts: Have you ever seen a girl with a drumstick shoved up her nose?
Girl: Oh, is that some kind of a threat?
Watts: It's some kind of a warning.

Keith Nelson: I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was so hard on you.
Watts: Me too.
Keith Nelson: You always hurt the ones you love.
Watts: So when are you beating the shit out of Amanda Jones?

Watts to Amanda Jones: Break his heart, I'll break your face.

Laura Nelson: Any fool can get into college. Only a select few can
 say the same about Amanda Jones.
@
#SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT (1995)
Wyly King: I may have fooled around a little bit, but I've never
 cheated.
@
#SOMETHING WILD (1986)
Charlie Driggs: What are you doing?
Audrey "Lulu" Hankel: I'm setting you free.
Charlie Driggs: Maybe I don't want to be free.
Audrey "Lulu" Hankel: Maybe you're not.
@
#SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA (1988)
Spider: It's too bad we had to kill her. I really liked the outfit
 she had on.
@
#SORROWFUL JONES (1949)
Once Over Sam: He makes a monkey out of me? Well I'll make an omelet
 outta him!
@
#SOUL MAN (1986)
Mark Watson: Mom! Dad! There's something I got to tell you... I'm
 black.

Mark Watson: She told me they have support for people who's parents
 are poor, but not for those who's parents are assholes.
@
#SPACEBALLS (1987)
Dark Helmet: I hope it's a long ceremony, 'cause it's gonna be a short
 honeymoon.

Barf: I know we need the money, but...
Lone Star: Listen! We're not just doing this for money... We're
 doing it for a SHIT LOAD of money!
Barf: Oh, you're right. And when you're right, you're right. And you
 - you're always right.

Dark Helmet: What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? CHICKEN???

{Colonel Sandurz, Dark Helmet and the Video Operator are watching
 _Spaceballs_ (qv), the movie}
Colonel Sandurz: That's too early. Prepare to fast-forward!
Video Operator: Preparing to fast-forward!
Colonel Sandurz: Fast-forward!
Video Operator: Fast-forwarding, Sir!

Lone Star: What the hell was that noise?
Dot Matrix: That was my virgin-alarm. It's programmed to go off
 before you do!

President Skroob: Why didn't anyone tell me my ass was so big???

{After the self-destruction mechanism has been activated}
President Skroob: Sandurz, Sandurz. You got to help me. I don't know
 what to do. I can't make decisions. I'm a president!

{When Lone Star and Barf stops on the outer space gas-station}
Waitress: Ready to order?
Woman in Diner: Yeah, we'll both have the lunafish.

{Princess Vespa has been given a gun}
Princess Vespa: No, I don't like guns.
{Her hair gets singed by a laser}
Princess Vespa: My hair, he shot my hair. Son of a BITCH!! {begins
 blasting}

{See _Alien (1979)_ (qv)}
Kane: Oh no. Not again!

Yogurt: And may the schwartz be with you!
@
#SPEED (1994)
Swat Cop:Anything else that'll keep this elevator from falling?
Jack Traven: The basement.

Jack Traven: Tell me again Harry, why did I take this job?
Harry Temple: Oh come on, thirty more years you get a tiny pension and
 a cheap gold watch.
Jack Traven: Cool.

Jack Travern: Shoot the hostage.

Howard Payne: There will come a time, boy, when you wish you never met
 me.
Jack Traven: Mister, I'm already there.

Jack Traven: You're crazy.
Howard Payne: Poor people are crazy. I'm eccentric.

{Traven spots the explosive device (it's huge); Stephens is relaying
 his observations by cel-phone.}
Jack Traven: Fuck me!!
Stephens: "Oh, darn."

Helen: Are they going to help us?
Stephens: Sure they are, they're the police. Hey, your taxes are
 paying their salaries. We die, they gotta take a pay cut.

{Jack is helped onto the bus after trying to defuse bomb}
Stephens: Did you have any luck with the bomb?
Jack Traven: Yeah, it didn't go off.
@
#SPELLBOUND (1945)
Dr. Alex Brulov: Women make the best psychoanalysts until they fall in
 love. After that they make the best patients.
@
#SPENCER: CEREMONY (1993) (TV)
April: He has a gun...
Spenser: ...but is he pure of heart?
@
#SPIES LIKE US (1985)
{Emmett Fritz-Hume and Austin Millbarge are surrounded by Ninja
 warriors}
Austin Millbarge: Show some balls, man!
Emmett Fritz-Hume: I think it's too late to try and impress them.
@
#SPLASH (1984)
Freddie Bauer: What you looking at? You never seen a guy who slept
 with a fish before?
@
#SPLIT SECOND (1953)
Larry Fleming: Well, Colonel, when you've seen one atom bomb, you've
 seen them all.

Larry Fleming: You don't think very much of people, do you?
Sam Hurley: I don't think very much of anything.

Sam Hurley: You ever been locked up? Some people can stand it and some
 people can't. The ones who can't would kill themselves and anybody
 else just to get out for five minutes.
@
#SPLITTING HEIRS (1993)
Tommy Patel: You don't have to worry about me, dear. I'm "bi"-sexual.
 Whenever I want to have sex, I have to buy it.

Brittle: Congratulations, Sir.
Henry Martin: Eh, you can kiss ass later, Brittle.
Brittle: Thank you, Sir.

Butler: Drunk again, sir?
Henry Martin: That's okay, butler. So are we.

Adoption Agent: She insisted that you were adopted by a member of the
 working class to save you from the curse of money.
Tommy Patel: How very thoughtful...

Duchess Lucinda: "Stop"? You can't just arouse a woman and then yell
 "stop", even if you are English...

Police Officer: We believe foul play was involved.
Tommy Patel: Surely you don't think I...
Police Officer: I don't think anything, sir. I'm a police officer.

{After the moose-head falls down from the wall over Henry Martin}
Henry Martin: Get me out of this moose!

Shadgrind: So many of you orphans. Unwanted children all over the
 place. People were sex-mad in the 60s, seemed to do it just for
 fun... Weird.

Kitty: That's Henry's mother, the black sheep in the family. She took
 so many strokes in the 60s they called her the U.S. open.
@
#STAGE FRIGHT (1950)
Charlotte Inwood: He was an abominable man. Why do women marry
 abominable men?
@
#STAKEOUT (1987)
{Reading the police profile on Maria McGuire}
Bill Reimers: And, the moment we've all been waiting for... 300
 pounds.
Chris Lecce: Three hundred pounds??!?
Bill Reimers: I would imagine that's fully clothed.
Chris Lecce: Oh my God, she could be the house! I hate this job!

{After watching the svelte Maria McGuire undress}
Bill Reimers: To protect and to serve.
Chris Lecce: Ooo, I love my job, I love it so much!
Bill Reimers: But I would appreciate it if you would not act like a
 walking hard-on while we're on the job.
Chris Lecce: Succinctly put.
@
#STAND AND DELIVER (1987)
Jaime Escalante: Tough guys don't do math. Tough guys fry chicken for
 a living!
@
#STAND BY ME (1986)
Vern Tessio: One food for the rest of my life? That's easy. Cherry
 Pez. Cherry-flavored Pez. There's no doubt about it.

Vern Tessio: Mighty Mouse versus Superman? That's a tough one.
@
#STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN (1982)
Khan Noonian Singh: I'll chase him 'round the moons of Nibia and
 'round the Antares Maelstrom and 'round perdition's flames before I
 give him up!

Dr. McCoy: Logic? My God! The man's talking about logic! We're
 talking about universal armageddon!

Admiral James T. Kirk: You've managed to kill just about everyone
 else, but like a poor marksman you keep missing the target.

Admiral James T. Kirk: I don't believe in a no-win scenario.

Admiral James T. Kirk: Stand by to receive our transmission. {sotto
 voce} Mr. Sulu, lock phasers on target.

Lt. Saavik: Humor. It is a difficult concept. It is not logical.
Admiral James T. Kirk: We learn by doing.
@
#STAR TREK III: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK (1984)
Captain James Tiberius Kirk: Sorry about your ship, but as we say on
 Earth, c'est la vie.
@
#STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME (1986)
{After landing and cloaking a Klingon spaceship in Golden Gate Park}
Captain James T. Kirk: Everybody remember where we parked.

Gillian: So you're from outer space?
Captain James T. Kirk: No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in outer space.
@
#STAR TREK VI: THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY (1991)
Spock: Mr. Scott, I understand you are experiencing difficulties with
 the warp engines?
Scott: There's nothing wrong with the bloody---
Spock: Mr. Scott, if the Enterprise responds to hails and returns to
 Starbase, there is a good chance that we will never see Captain Kirk
 or Doctor McCoy alive again.
Scott: Could take weeks, sir...
@
#STAR TREK: GENERATIONS (1994)
James T. Kirk: You left port without a tractor beam?
Captain Harriman: It doesn't arrive until Tuesday.

Dr. Soran: They say time is a fire in which we burn; right now I'm
 running out of time.

Dr. Soran: Now if you'll excuse me Captain. I have an appointment
 with eternity and I don't want to be late.

James T. Kirk to Jean-Luc Picard: I was out saving the galaxy while
 your grandfather was in diapers.
@
#STAR WARS (1977)
Princess Leia Organa: Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: The Force can have a strong influence on a weak mind.

Han Solo: Han Solo. I'm captain of the Millennium Falcon. Chewie
 here tells me you're lookin' for passage to the Alderaan system?
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Yes indeed, if it's a fast ship.
Han Solo: Fast ship? You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?

Luke Skywalker: What a piece of junk!
Han Solo: She'll make point five past lightspeed. She may not look
 like much but she's got it where it counts, kid. I've made a lot of
 special modifications myself.

Darth Vader: I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Darth Vader: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've
 constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next
 to the power of the Force.

Princess Leia: The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star
 systems will slip through your fingers.

C-3PO: Listen to them, they're dying, R2! Curse my metal body! I
 wasn't fast enough! It's all my fault! My poor master!

Darth Vader: I sense something. A presence I haven't felt since...

Obi-Wan Kenobi: You must learn the ways of the Force if you are to
 come with me to Alderaan.

C-3PO: Don't call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of
 grease!

C-3PO: We're doomed!

Han Solo: Wonderful girl! Either I'm going to kill her or I'm
 beginning to like her.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Who's the more foolish? The fool or the fool who
 follows him?

Han Solo: Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, boy.

Leia: Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?

Han Solo: Get in there you big furry oaf! I don't care what you
 smell!

Han: This is not going to work.
Luke: Why didn't you say so before?
Han: I did say so before!

Luke Skywalker: Got 'im! I got 'im!
Han Solo: Great, kid! Don't get cocky!

Darth Vader: The Force is strong with this one.

Darth Vader: Commander, tear this ship apart until you've found those
 plans. And bring me the passengers, I want them alive!

Princess Leia: Darth Vader, only you could be so bold.

Luke Skywalker: Why would Imperial troops want to slaughter Jawas?

Han Solo: Over my dead body!
Greedo: That's the idea. I've been looking forward to this for a long
 time.
Han Solo shoots Greedo under the table: Yes, I BET you have.

{R2-D2 and Chewbacca are playing the holographic game on Millennium
 Falcon}
Chewbacca: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh
C-3PO: He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help you.
Han Solo: Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookiee.
C-3PO: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid.
Han Solo: That's 'cause droids don't pull people's arms out of their
 sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that.
Chewbacca: Grrf.
C-3PO: I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2: let the
 Wookiee win.

Darth Vader: When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the
 master.

Han Solo: Not a bad bit of rescuing. You know, sometimes I amaze even
 myself.
Princess Leia Organa: That doesn't sound too hard.

Ben (Obi-Wan) Kenobi: The Force will be with you, always.

Luke Skywalker: I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home.
 They're not much bigger than two meters.

Officer: We've analyzed their attack, sir, and there is a danger.
 Should I have your ship standing by?
Governor Tarkin: Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you
 overestimate their chances.

Ben (Obi-Wan) Kenobi: Use the Force, Luke!
@
#STILL NOT QUITE HUMAN (1992) (TV)
Bonus: Those men are pointing explosive projectiles at us.
@
#STING, THE (1973)
{last lines}
Henry Gondorff: Are you gonna stick around for your share?
Johnny Hooker: Nah. I'd just blow it.
@
#STONE (1974)
{at the funeral of Go Down}
Undertaker: OK, Go Down, you got it; but believe me, whoever got you
 is goin' ta get got to; and that's a promise.

Undertaker: We'll do what we fuckin like. We're not going to hang
 round getting knocked off one by one while you smartarse bastards do
 your investigation routine.
@
#STRANGER ON THE THIRD FLOOR (1940)
Michael Ward: Did you ever want to kill a man?
Martin: My son, there's murder in every intelligent man's heart.

The Stranger: I want a couple of hamburgers...and I'd like them raw.
@
#STRANGERS ON A TRAIN (1951)
{First Line}
Bruno Anthony: I beg your pardon, but aren't you Guy Haines?

Bruno Anthony: Don't worry, I'm not going to shoot you, Mr. Haines.
 It might disturb mother.

Bruno Anthony: I have a theory that you should do everything before
 you die.

Guy Haines: I may be old-fashioned, but I thought murder was against
 the law.

Bruno Anthony: Everyone has somebody that they want to put out of the
 way. Oh now, surely Madam, you're not going to tell me that there
 hasn't been a time that you didn't want to dispose of someone. Your
 husband, for instance.
@
#STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE, A (1951)
Blanche DuBois: I have always depended on the kindess of strangers.
@
#STRIPES (1981)
John Winger: It's not the speed that's important, I just wish I hadn't
 drunk all that cough syrup this morning.

General Barnicke: Where is your drill sergeant, men?
John Winger: Blown up sir.

John Winger: Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear and when I
 do it's usually something interesting.
@
#SUDDEN IMPACT (1983)
{Callahan's got the drop on a crook who's considering going for his
 gun}
Harry Callahan: Go ahead, make my day.
@
#SULLIVAN'S TRAVELS (1941)
The Girl: I liked you better as a bum.
John Lloyd Sullivan: I can't help what kind of people you like.

John Lloyd Sullivan: There's a lot to be said for making people laugh.
 Did you know that that's all some people have?
@
#SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950)
Norma Desmond: We didn't need dialogue. We had *faces*.

Narrator: The poor dope - he always wanted a pool, and, in the end, he
 got himself a pool.

Joe: You're Norma Desmond. You used to be in silent pictures. You
 used to be big.
Norma: I am big! It's the pictures that got small!

Norma: They took the idols and smashed them, the Fairbankses, the
 Gilberts, the Valentinos! Who've we got now - just some nobodies!

Joe: I didn't know you were making a comeback.
Norma: I hate that word - it's a return, a return of the millions of
 people who have never forgiven me for deserting the screen.

Max: She was the greatest of them all. In one week she received
 17,000 fan letters. There was a maharaja who came all the way from
 India to beg for one of her silk stockings. Later he strangled
 himself with it!

Joe: Audiences don't know that a writer writes the script; they think
 the actors make it up as they go along.

Norma: I can afford it. I'm rich. I have $10 million...oil wells in
 Bakersfield...pumping, pumping.

{After Norma tells him she's going to kill herself}
Joe: You'd be killing yourself for an empty house. The audience left
 20 years ago.

Joe sarcastically: They'll love it in Pomona.
Norma: They'll love it everywhere.

Norma: And I promise you I'll never desert you again because after
 'Salome' we'll make another picture and another. You see, this is
 my life! It always will be! Nothing else! Just us, the cameras,
 and those wonderful people out there in the dark!
Joe: Well, this is where you came in, back at that pool again, the one
 I always wanted. It's dawn now and they must have photographed me a
 thousand times. And they got a couple of pruning hooks from the
 garden and fished me out...ever so gently. Funny, how gentle people
 get with you once you're dead.
@
#SUPERMAN (1978)
Young Clark Kent: All those things I can do. All those powers. And I
 couldn't even save him.

Clark Kent: Mr. White, I was wondering if you could arrange for half
 my salary to be sent to this address on a weekly basis.
Lois Lane: Your bookie, right?
Clark Kent: My what?
Lois Lane: Don't tell me: he sends a check every week to his sweet,
 grey-haired old mother.
Clark Kent: Actually, she's silver-haired.

Clark Kent: Really, Lois, supposing that man had shot you? Is it
 worth risking your life over ten dollars, two credit cards, a
 hairbrush, and a lipstick?
Lois Lane: How did you know that?
Clark Kent: Know what?
Lois Lane: You just described the exact contents of my purse.
Clark Kent: Hmm. Lucky guess.

Superman: Easy, miss. I've got you.
Lois Lane: You've got me? Who's got you?

{Superman gets a cat out of a tree.}
Superman: Here you go, miss.
Little girl: Gee, thanks, mister.
Superman: Well, so long, Frisky. Good night, miss.
Little girl: Good night. {runs inside} Mommy! Mommy! Frisky was
 caught in a tree! This man swooped down out of the sky and gave him
 to me!
Mommy: Haven't I told you to stop telling lies?

Perry White: Now look. The Post: "It Flies." The News: "Look, Ma, No
 Wires." The Times: "Blue Bomb Buzzes Metropolis." The Planet. I
 want the name of this flying whatchamacallit to go with the Daily
 Planet like bacon and eggs, franks and beans, death and taxes,
 politics and corruption.

{Superman and Lois are standing on opposite sides of a large planter.}
Lois Lane: What color underwear am I wearing?
Superman {looking}: Hmmm...
Lois Lane: Oh, gee, I embarrassed you, didn't I?
Superman: Oh, no, no, not at all, it's just that this planter must be
 made of lead.
Lois Lane: Yeah, it is. So?
Superman: Well, I sort of have a problem seeing through lead.
Lois Lane: Oh, that's interesting. {writes} Problem seeing through
 lead. Do you have a first name?
Superman: You mean, like, Ralph or something?
Lois Lane {walks away from the planter}: No, I mean like---
Superman: Pink.
Lois Lane: Hm?
Superman: Pink. {Lois walks back to the planter.} Sorry, Miss Lane,
 I didn't mean to embarrass *you*.

Lex Luthor to Otis: Do you know why the number two hundred is so
 vitally descriptive of both you and me? It's your weight and my
 I.Q.

{Miss Teschmacher is posing as the victim of a car wreck.}
Sergeant: She's having trouble breathing sir. What do you suggest?
Major: Um, I suggest a vigorous chest massage, and if that doesn't
 work, uh, mouth-to-mouth.
Sergeant {enthusiastically}: Yes, sir! {bends to the task}
Major {pulls him to his feet}: Sergeant, I wouldn't have one of my men
 do something I wouldn't be prepared to do myself.
Sergeant {disappointed}: Yeah, but sir!

Superman: Is that how a warped brain like yours gets its kicks? By
 planning the deaths of innocent people?
Lex Luthor: No, by causing the deaths of innocent people.
@
#SUPERMAN II (1980)
Lex Luthor: He {Superman} is but one, while you are three!
Non: {growls menacingly}
Lex Luthor: Four, if you count him twice.
@
#SUPERMAN III (1983)
Vera Webster: I ask you to kill Superman, and you can't do that one,
 simple thing.
@
#SURE THING, THE (1985)
Alison Bradbury: Spontaneity has its time and place.
@
#SURVIVORS, THE (1983)
Donald Quinelle: What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees.
@
#SUSPICION (1941)
{First line}
Johnnie Aysgarth: Oh, I beg your pardon. Was that your leg? I had no
 idea we were going into a tunnel. I thought the compartment was
 empty.

Johnnie Aysgarth: If you're going to kill someone, do it simply.

Isobel Sedbusk: I always think of my murderers as my heroes.
@
#TAKE A LETTER, DARLING (1942)
Tom Verney: You're a beautiful brain and beautiful clothes. No
 temperature, no pulse. That's all.
A.M. MacGregor: Where did you learn about women, Verney?
Tom Verney: It isn't a matter of learning. It's instinct.
A.M. MacGregor: I'm a brain with no pulse, eh? I'm a woman, Verney,
 more woman than you'll ever know.
@
#TALE OF TWO KITTIES, A (1942)
{Urging Catstello to grab Tweety}
Babbit: Give me the bird!
Catstello: If the Hayes Office would only let me, I'd give him the
 bird all right!
@
#TAPEHEADS (1988)
Ivan: You, you've got no ambition! You're content just existing! You
 need what I've got.
Josh: Herpes?

{Ivan & Josh explain their tardiness to their security boss}
Ivan: Anybody else who'd save Pablo Casales - perhaps the greatest
 cellist in the world with the possible exception of Yo-Yo Ma - from
 a fiery car wreck on Sunset Boulevard would be bragging about it,
 but not Josh. He didn't want to spoil the 11 o'clock news for you.
Norton: Don't bullshit me. I'm a big cello fan! Casales died years
 ago!

Norman Mart: Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Russians have
 satellite laser weapons. Why can't we, too?

Mo Fuzz: This group is hotter than hot. They've sold more records in
 Sweden than Abba.
@
#TAXI DRIVER (1976)
Travis Bickle: You talkin' to me?
@
#TEMPTATION (1946)
Ruby: Men are just begging to be lied to... so I lie. They don't fall
 in love with me; they never trouble to know me; they just fall in
 love. And they're cheated by their own imaginations.
Isaacson: Interesting viewpoint.
Ruby: It's the truth! If I can have everything I want, money,
 pleasure, admiration, just by a little harmless lying, I'd be a fool
 not to lie, wouldn't I?
@
#TEN COMMANDMENTS, THE (1956)
Nefretiri: Oh Moses, Moses, you adorable, stubborn fool!
@
#TEQUILA SUNRISE (1988)
Carlos: Don't worry, buddy. I won't kill her unless you approve.
McKussic: And if I don't approve?
Carlos: Then we'll talk until you do...
@
#TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY (1991)
John Connor: We've got company.
Miles Dyson: Police?
Sarah Connor: How many?
John Connor: Uh, all of them, I think.

The Terminator: I need your clothes, boots and your motorcycle!
Cigar Biker: You forgot to say please...

Dr. Silberman: I'm sure it feels very real to you.
Sarah Connor: On August 29th 1997 it's gonna feel pretty fucking real
 to you too. Anybody not wearing 2 million sunblock is gonna have a
 real bad day... Get it?

John Connor to The Terminator: Now don't take this the wrong way, but
 you're a terminator, right?

John Connor: You're not here to kill me - I figured out that for
 myself. So what's the deal?
Terminator: My mission is to protect you.
John Connor: Yeah? Who sent you?
Terminator: You did. 35 years from now you reprogrammed me to be your
 protector here - in this time.
John Connor: This is deep...

{John Connor is by a telephone booth, wanting to call home}
John Connor to Terminator: You got a quarter?

John Connor: Did you call *moi* a dipshit?

{Lewis, the Guard buys a cup of coffee, just before he is introduced
 to the T-1000 (As Lewis)}
Lewis, the Guard: Hey, I got a full house!
Gwen: That's good Lewis.
Lewis, the Guard: Must be my lucky day...

{The Terminator has promised not to kill anybody, but to get into the
 hospital he shoots the guard in the legs}
Terminator: He'll live.

Dr. Silbermann: You broke my arm!
Sarah Connor: There's 215 bones in the human body. That's one.

{Just like in _The Terminator_ (qv)}
The Terminator: Come with me if you want to live!

Sarah Connor to The Terminator: So, what's your story?

The Terminator: Stay here, I'll be back!

T-1000: Say... That's a nice bike...

The Terminator: Hasta la vista, baby!
@
#TERMINATOR, THE (1984)
{The Terminator is loading a rifle in the shop}
Pawn Shop Clerk: You can't do that!
The Terminator shooting him: Wrong!

Nat to The Terminator: Wow! Don't make me bust you up, man!

{Also in _Terminator 2: Judgment Day_ (qv)}
Kyle Reese: Come with me if you want to live!

Kyle Reese: Cyborgs don't feel pain... I do. Don't do that again.

Dr. Silbermann: How are you supposed to get back?
Kyle Reese: I can't. Nobody gets home. Nobody else comes through.
 It's just him - and me.

The Terminator: I'll be back!

{The Terminator is choosing from a list of programmed responses to get
 rid of someone knocking on his door}
Terminator: Fuck you, asshole.

{Talking to the Tiki Motel on the phone}
The Terminator: Give me your address there.
@
#TERROR OF MECHAGODZILLA (1975)
She: Please kill me... Mecha-Godzilla's brain is installed in my
 stomach.
He: You may be a cyborg, but I still love you...
@
#TEXASVILLE (1991)
Duane Jackson: It must be ten years since I've seen you wear anything
 I didn't have to read.
@
#THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS (1943)
Eddie Cantor: Dinah, Please tell them that I'm Cantor and I'll double
 your salary.
Dinah Shore: I don't know who you are, but if you'll double my salary,
 you're certainly not Cantor!
@
#THELMA & LOUISE (1991)
J.D. Tech: You got an amazing story to tell your friends, if not you
 got a tag on your toe.

J.D. Tech: Well now, I've always believed if done properly, armed
 robbery doesn't have to be a totally unpleasant experience.

Louise Sawyer: You get what you settle for.

Louise Sawyer about husband Darryl: You could park a car in the shadow
 if his ass.
@
#THEY CAME FROM WITHIN (1975)
Forsythe: He tells me that even old flesh is erotic flesh, that
 disease is the love of two alien kinds of creatures for each other,
 that even dying is an act of eroticism.
@
#THEY DIED WITH THEIR BOOTS ON (1941)
George Armstrong Custer: We ride ... to hell. Or to glory. It
 depends on your point of view.
@
#THEY LIVE (1988)
Nada: I'm here to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and I'm all out of
 bubble gum.
@
#THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD, THE (1951)
Scotty: An intellectual carrot. The mind boggles.

Professor Carrington: There are no enemies in science, only phenomena
 to be studied.

Professor Carrington: Knowledge is more important than life.

Professor Carrington about the carrot: Its development was not
 handicapped by emotional or sexual factors.

{Last line}
Scotty: Watch the skies, everywhere! Keep looking. Keep watching the
 skies!
@
#THING, THE (1982)
Clark: I dunno what the hell's in there, but it's big and pissed off
 whatever it is.

{Last line}
MacReady: Why don't we just wait here for a while ... see what
 happens.
@
#THIRD MAN, THE (1949)
Harry Lime: In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare,
 terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo,
 Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had
 brotherly love -- they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and
 what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.
@
#THIS IS SPINAL TAP (1984)
Davis St. Hubbins: There is such a fine line between genius and
 stupidity.

David St. Hubbins: I'd probably feel a lot worse if I wasn't under
 such heavy sedation.

David St. Hubbins: Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year -
 it's just not widely reported.

{Nigel Tufnel is proudly showing off the dials on his amp}
Nigel Tufnel: These go to 11.
Marty DiBergi: Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder isn't it? It's not ten.

{Nigel Tufnel is showing Marty DiBergi one of his favorite guitars}
Nigel Tufnel: The sustain, listen to it.
Marty DiBergi: I don't hear anything.
Nigel Tufnel: Well you would though, if it were playing.

{Derek Smalls sets off a metal detector at the airport}
Airport Security Officer: Do you have any artificial plates or limbs?
Derek Smalls: Er, not really.
@
#THREE AMIGOS! (1986)
{Dusty Bottoms and Lucky Day thinks Ned Nederlander is saying "mail"
 plane}
Dusty Bottoms: What is it doing here?
Ned Nederlander: I think it's a male plane.
Dusty Bottoms: How can you tell?
Ned Nederlander: Didn't you notice its little balls?
@
#THREE MUSKETEERS, THE (1993)
{The three musketeers and D'Artagnan are escaping from the Cardinals
 men in his own coach}
Porthos: Champagne?
Aramis: We're in the middle of a chase, Porthos.
Porthos: You're right -- something red.
{Chase continues. Porthos ducks down and emerges}
Porthos: For a chase, the Cardinal recommends his excellent '24
 Cabernet.
Porthos to D'Artagnan: You can't have any, you're too young.
Aramis: Take the reins, boy.

Porthos: The picnic was delicious, the wine was excellent, remind me
 to send the Cardinal a note.
@
#TIME AFTER TIME (1979)
H.G. Wells: The first man to raise a fist is the man who's run out of
 ideas.
Amy Robbins: I love you.

H.G. Wells: Every age is the same. It's only love that makes any of
 them bearable.

H.G. Wells: My name is H.G. Wells. I came here in a time machine of
 my own construction. I am pursuing Jack the Ripper, who escaped
 into the future in my machine.
@
#TIME BANDITS (1980)
Evil: Oh Benson, dear Benson, you are so mercifully free of the
 ravages of intelligence.

Kevin: Mom! Dad! Don't touch it! It's evil!
@
#TO CATCH A THIEF (1955)
Frances Stevens: I've never caught a jewel thief before. It's very
 stimulating.

John Robie: You don't have to spend every day of your life proving
 your honesty, but I do.

{Last line}
Frances Stevens: So this is where you live? Oh, Mother will love it
 up here!
@
#TOMBSTONE (1993)
{Doc Holliday is drunkenly playing a somber piece on the saloon piano,
 and a drunken Cowboy is harassing him to play something by Stephen
 Foster}
Cowboy: Stephen Foster. "Oh, Susannah", "Camptown Races". Stephen
 stinking Foster.
Doc Holliday: Ah, yes. Well, this happens to be a nocturne.
Cowboy: A which?
Doc Holliday: You know, Frederic fucking Chopin.

Cowboy: Why, it's the drunk piano player. You're so drunk, you can't
 hit nothin'. In fact, you're probably seeing double.
{Cowboy draws a knife, and Doc Holliday takes out a second gun}
Doc Holliday: I have two guns, one for each of ya.

Doc Holliday: It seems poker's just not your game, Ike. I know...
 Let's have a spelling contest! {cracks up laughing}

Wyatt Earp: Are you gonna do something, or just stand there and bleed?

Wyatt Earp: You tell him I'm coming! And hell's coming with me!

Doc Holliday to Johnny Ringo: Why Johnny Ringo, you look like someone
 just walked over your grave.

John Ringo: I want your blood. And I want your soul. And I want them
 both right now!

Doc Holliday: I'm your huckleberry.

{Wyatt Earp has just found out that the devil in a play was performed
 by a woman}
Wyatt Earp: Well, I'll be damned.
Doc Holliday: You may indeed, if you get lucky.

Doc Holliday: I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Doc Holliday: It's true, you are a good woman. Then again, you may be
 the antichrist.
@
#TOOTSIE (1982)
{Michael Dorsey as Dorothy Michaels}
Dorothy Michaels: What kind of mother would I be if I didn't give my
 girls tits ... tips?
@
#TOP GUN (1986)
Maverick: She's lost that loving feeling.
Goose: No, no she hasn't.
Maverick: Oh, yes she has.
Goose: I hate it when she does that.
@
#TOP HAT (1935)
Dale Tremont: I dropped up from the room below where I've been trying
 to get some sleep!
Jerry Travers: Oh, I'm sorry- I didn't realize I was disturbing
 you. You see, every once in a while I suddenly find
 myself... dancing.
Dale Tremont: Oh. I suppose it's some kind of an affliction.
@
#TOP SECRET! (1984)
German Officer on the telephone: ...well, let me know if his condition
 improves.
German Officer to the people in the room: ...he's dead.
@
#TORCH SONG TRILOGY (1988)
Arnold to the unconscious Alan: If you have an I.Q. above 30, then
 there is no God.
@
#TOTAL RECALL (1990)
Douglas Quaid: I'll be back!

Douglas Quaid after shooting his "wife": Consider that a divorce!

{Douglas Quaid seeing his real personality on the screen}
Douglas Quaid: Now get your ass to Mars.
@
#TOUCH OF EVIL (1958)
{Last lines}
Tanya: Isn't somebody gonna come and take him away?
Schwartz: Yeah, in just a few minutes. You really liked him didn't
 you?
Tanya: The cop did ... the one who killed him ... he loved him.
Schwartz: Well, Hank was a great detective alright.
Tanya: and a lousy cop.
Schwartz: Is that all you have to say for him?
Tanya: He was some kind of a man... What does it matter what you say
 about people?
Schwartz: Goodbye Tanya
Tanya: Adios
@
#TOYS (1992)
Leslie Zevo: We're gonna fight fire with marshmallows.
@
#TRANCERS (1985)
Jack Deth: Dry hair's for squids.
@
#TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE, THE (1948)
Gold Hat: Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges.
 I don't have to show you any stinking badges.
@
#TREMORS (1990)
Valentine McKee: You see, we plan ahead, that way we don't do anything
 right now.

Earl Bass: Damn it Valentine, you never plan ahead, you never take the
 long view, I mean here it is Monday and I'm already thinking of
 Wednesday.... It is Monday right?

{Earl Bass and Valentine McKee are about to meet Rhonda LeBeck.
 Valentine McKee pictures her}
Valentine McKee: You will have; long blonde hair, big green eyes,
 world class breasts, ass that won't quit and legs that go all the
 way up.

{Earl Bass and Valentine McKee have just been chased by a 30 feet long
 monster}
Rhonda LeBeck: Did you notice anything weird a minute ago?

Valentine McKee: This valley is just one long smorgasbord.

Earl Bass: Damn it and listen to me, I'm older and I'm wiser.
Valentine McKee: Yeah, well you're half right.

{Burt Gummer looks at the monster fought off with his "toys"}
Burt Gummer: Guess you broke into the wrong God damn rec room, didn't
 ya!

{Burt Gummer looks at his bomb shelter for perhaps the last time}
Burt Gummer: Food for five years, a thousand gallons of gas, air
 filtration, water filtration, Geiger counter. Bomb shelter!
 Underground... God damn monsters.
@
#TROUBLE WITH HARRY, THE (1955)
{Upon finding the Captain dragging a body along the ground}
Miss Graveley: What seems to be the trouble, Captain?

{The Captain and Miss Graveley have afternoon tea together}
Captain: A real handsome man's cup.
Miss Graveley: It's been in the family for years. My father always
 used it ... until he died.
Captain: I trust he died peacefully. Slipped away in the night?
Miss Graveley: He was caught in a threshing machine.

{Referring to Harry Worp}
Jennifer Rogers: He looked exactly the same when he was alive, only he
 was vertical.

Captain: Marriage is a good way to spend the winter.
@
#TRUE LIES (1994)
Mrs. Tasker: Have you ever killed anyone?
Harry Tasker: Yeah, but they were all bad.

{While launching a Harrier missile, from which Salim Abu Aziz is
 hanging}
Harry Tasker: You're fired!

Harry Tasker: There *is* no us, you psychotic bitch!

Gib: Women. Can't live with 'em. Can't kill 'em!
@
#TRUE ROMANCE (1993)
Clarence Worley: If I had to fuck any man, I mean if my life depended
 on it, then it'd be Elvis.

Clarence Worley: Something this last week has taught me; it's better
 to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it.

Clifford Worley: Who are you?
Vincenzo Coccotti: I'm the Anti-Christ. You get me in a vendetta kind
 of mood, you will tell the angels in heaven that you had never seen
 evil so singularly personified as you did in the face of the man who
 killed you. My name is Vincenzo Coccotti.

{Don Vincenzo is complaining about how lousy Clifford Worley is to
 lie}
Vincenzo Coccotti: Now, what we have got here is a little game of show
 and tell, and you don't wanna show me nothing and tell me
 everything.

Clifford Worley: You're Sicilian, ha?
Vincenzo Coccotti: Yeah, Sicilian.
Clifford Worley: I read a lot. Especially about things... about
 history. I find that shit fascinating. I don't know whether you know
 or not. Sicilians were spawned by niggers.
Vincenzo Coccotti: Come again?
Clifford Worley: It's a fact. See, Sicilians have black blood pumpin'
 through their hearts. If you don't believe me you can look it
 up. Hundreds and hundreds of years ago the moors conquered Sicily
 and the moors are niggers.
Vincenzo Coccotti: Yes...
Clifford Worley: Sicilians were like wops from northern Italy. They
 all had blonde hair and blue eyes but when the moors moved in there,
 well they changed the whole country. They did so much fuckin' with
 Sicilian women that they changed the whole bloodline forever. That's
 why blonde hair and blue eyes became black hair and dark skin. It's
 absolutely amazing to me to think that to this day, hundreds of
 years later, that Sicilians still carry that nigger gene. Now
 this...
Vincenzo Coccotti: Hahahahahahahaha...
Clifford Worley: No, I'm quoting. It's written, it's a fact, it's
 written.
Vincenzo Coccotti: Hahahahahahahaha... I love this guy.
Clifford Worley: Your ancestors were niggers and your
 great-great-great-great grandmother fucked a nigger and she had a
 half nigger kid. If that's a fact, tell me, am I lying?

{In the Night Club after Drexl has beaten Clarence}
Drexl Spivey: He must have thought it is white boy day. It ain't
 white boy day, is it?
Monty: No man, It ain't white boy day.
@
#TUNE IN TOMORROW... (1990)
Pedro Carmichael: Life is a shitstorm, and when it's raining shit the
 best umbrella is art.

Pedro Carmichael: Eat - or be eaten!
@
#TURNER & HOOCH (1989)
Amos Reed: Let him go, Hooch! I'm sorry, Scott. I don't have the
 hand-strength I used to. You're OK, aren't you?
Scott Turner: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I was looking forward to a nice
 quiet cup of coffee, BUT NOW I'M AWAKE!

Emily Carson: Well, it's a nice night, and I have to walk Camille. Do
 you want to take a walk with me?
Scott Turner: No. No. Well, you see, I'm starting to like you, and
 if we're going to walk I'm just going to like you even more, and
 then one day we might even end up in love and everything will go on
 fine for a while, but-but then one day *bang* you're gonna call me a
 selfish compulsive bachelor. You gonna pull your hair, you gonna
 scream and you gonna say you never want to see me again because I
 drive you crazy, and I'm a lousy shot. Now, who needs that? Good
 night.
@
#TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME (1992)
Cooper: Lately I've been filled with the knowledge that the killer
 will strike again.
Albert: Alright, let's test it for the record. Will the next victim
 be a man or a woman?
Cooper: A woman.
Albert: What color hair will she have?
Cooper: Blonde.
Albert: Tell me some other things about her.
Cooper: She's young, she's in high school, she's sexually active,
 she's taking drugs, she's crying out for help.
Albert: Well damn Cooper, that really narrows it down, you're talking
 about half the high school girls in America!
@
#TWINS (1988)
Julius Benedict: If you're lying, I'll be back!
@
#UHF (1989)
{George and Bob just got fired again}
Bob: How could you do this to me? I knew this was gonna happen!
George Newman: You're right, Bob. I'm sorry. What can I say? I-I'm
 a miserable worthless hunk of slime. Here, I want you to take this
 crowbar and just bash my head right in. Go ahead. Really! Just
 BASH my head right in!
Bob: George, you know I can't do that. You still owe me 5 bucks.

Bob: I don't know about this, George. We don't know the first thing
 about what goes on in a television station.
George Newman: Don't worry, Bob. It's just like working in a
 fish-market. Except you don't have to clean and gut fish all day.

{In the "Spatula City" advertising commercial}
Sy Greenblum: Hello, this is Sy Greenblum, president of Spatula City.
 I like the spatulas so much, I bought the company.

Stanley Spadowski: George, you know I was wondering, like if you were
 traveling through outer space, I mean like you're going real fast,
 like the speed of light, you know ...hoooohhhhh... and all of a
 sudden you started screaming ...aaaahhhhh aaaaahhhhh... Do you
 think your brain would blow up?
Bob: Guys, I'm trying to work... Do you mind?
Stanley Spadowski: I don't mind. Go right ahead... Do you mind,
 George?

Stanley Spadowski: "These floors are dirty as hell, and I'm not gonna
 take it any more!"

{See _The Treasure of the Sierra Madre_ (qv)}
Raul Hernandez: Badgers? Badgers? We don't need no stinking badgers!

R.J. Fletcher: This is an embarrassment. A disgrace. What do you
 think R.J. Fletcher Senior would be saying if he were alive today?
Richard Fletcher: "Help me out of this box, I can't breathe in here!
 Help, let me out!"

Stanley Spadowski: George? What's the matter?
George Newman: Stanley, you don't want to know.
Stanley Spadowski: Huh? Why did I ask?
@
#UNCLE BUCK (1989)
{Buck Russell inquires about the health of Bob's father-in-law}
Buck Russell: Her dad?
Bob Russell: Hard to say.
Buck Russell: Oh, those medical terms eh?
@
#UNDER SIEGE (1992)
William Strannix: Damn, I'm good.

Admiral Bates: This is Admiral Bates speaking. I am trying to get a
 hold of Chief Ryback. Is he about?
Jordan Tate: He is in a gunfight right now. I'm gonna have to take a
 message.

William Strannix: Porky Pig - little red fucker with a mustache.

William Strannix: All my life, Saturday morning cartoons... The best!
@
#UNFORGIVEN (1992)
William Munny: Hell of a thing, killin' a man. Take away all he's got
 and all he's ever gonna have.
Kid: Yeah, well, I guess he had it comin'.
William Munny: We all got it comin', kid.

William Munny: I've killed women and children. I've killed just about
 every thing that walks or crawls. And I'm here to kill you, Little
 Bill, for what you done to Ned.

{Little Bill Daggett is lying on the floor helpless as William Munny
 points Ned Logan's rifle at him}
Little Bill Daggett: I don't deserve to die like this! I was building
 a house!
William Munny shooting: Deserve's got nothin' to do with it.
@
#UNTAMED HEART (1993)
Cindy: You are like sand in my underwear.
Jim: Ouch.
@
#UNTOUCHABLES, THE (1987)
Malone: Why do you want to be a police officer?
Cadet: To protect the...people and the...p...
Malone: I'm not looking for the textbook answer. Why do you want to
 join the force.
Cadet: The force?
Malone: Yeah, why do you want to join the force.
Cadet: Because...I...
Malone: Yeah?
Cadet: ...think I could help.
Malone: You think you could help.
Cadet: ...with the force.
Malone: Thank you very much, you've been most helpful. {The cadet
 leaves.} There goes the next chief of police.

Malone: Why do you want to be a cop?
George Stone: To protect the people and the citizenry of the state
 of...
Malone: Oh, don't give me any of that bullshit! Stone...George Stone.
 That's your name. What's your real name?
George Stone: That is my real name.
Malone: Nah! Before you changed it.
George Stone: Giuseppe Petri.
Malone: Ah! I knew it! {To Ness} That's all we need is one thievin'
 wop on the team!
George Stone: What's that you said?
Malone: I said, that you're a lyin' member of a no good race.
{They tussle. Stone pushes a silver revolver into Malone's neck.}
George Stone: Much better than you, you stinkin' Irish shitbag.
Malone to Ness: Oh, I like 'im.
Ness (out of breath): Yeah, I like him too.

Capone: Somebody messes with me, I'm gonna mess with him.

{after blowing away a crook who wouldn't "Freeze!"}
Eliot Ness: Didn't you hear what I said? What are you, deaf? What is
 this, a game?

Jim Malone: You wanna get Capone? Here's how you get him. He pulls a
 knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you
 send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way. And that's
 how you get Capone!

Jim Malone: Just like a Wop to bring a knife to a gunfight.

{Last lines}
Reporter: Word is they're going to repeal Prohibition. What'll you do
 then?
Eliot Ness: I think I'll have a drink.
@
#UP IN SMOKE (1978)
Mr. Stoner: Why don't you go out and get a job, like that God damn
 Finkelstein shit kid!
@
#UP THE CREEK (1984)
Bob McGraw to Heather Merriweather: No, thanks, I've been dressing
 myself for years. And when this is over, and someone has won this
 damn thing, I'd like to think I can jump on you again sometime.

Bob McGraw: I like a woman who's not afraid to play hard to get.
{Jennifer Runyon}: I like a man who's not afraid to play hard. You
 know something, Bob McGraw, you look a little warm. Why don't you
 slip into something more comfortable.
@
#VERTIGO (1958)
{First Line}
Cop: Give me your hand. Give me your hand.

John 'Scottie' Ferguson: You shouldn't keep souvenirs of a killing.
 You shouldn't have been that sentimental.

John 'Scottie' Ferguson: Midge, who do you know that's an authority on
 San Francisco history?
Marjorie 'Midge' Wood: That's the kind of greeting a girl likes! Not
 this 'Hello-you-look-wonderful'-stuff, just a good straight 'Who do
 you know that's an authority on San Francisco his...' {interrupted}
@
#VOYAGE (1993) (TV)
{Talking about the Freeland couple they just met}
Catherine "Kit" Norvell: You think she is attractive, don't you?
Morgan Norvell: You think he is?
Catherine "Kit" Norvell: Why do we always answer questions with
 questions?
Morgan Norvell: How do you mean?
@
#WALK, DON'T RUN (1966)
Chris: I don't know why you wanted a room, you spend all of your time
 outside!
@
#WALL STREET (1987)
Bud Fox: Why do you need to wreck this company?
Gordon Gecco: Because it's wreckable, all right?

Gordon Gekko: Greed, for want of a better word, is good. Greed is
 right. Greed works!
@
#WAR OF THE ROSES, THE (1989)
{Finding out that they are going to get a divorce}
Oliver Rose: And you better get yourself a damn good lawyer!
Barbara Rose: Best your money can buy!

Gavin D'Amato: Oliver, my father used to say that a man can never
 out-do a woman when it comes to love and revenge.

{Oliver Rose pees on the fish Barbara Rose had prepared for the
 guests}
Barbara Rose: I would never humiliate you like this!
Oliver Rose: You're not equipped to, honey.
@
#WAYNE'S WORLD (1992)
Mikita's Manager, Glen to the camera: I'd never done a crazy thing in
 my life before that night. Why is it that if a man kills another
 man in battle it's called heroic, yet if he kills a man in the heat
 of passion it's called murder.

Garth Algar: That is a babe! She makes me feel kinda funny, like when
 we used to climb the rope in gym-class.

{Talking about Claudia Schiffer}
Wayne Campbell: She's a babe.
Garth Algar: She's magically babelicious.
Wayne Campbell: She tested very high on the stroke-ability scale.

Benjamin: First let me get this out of the way; I'm a big fan.
Garth Algar: You are?
Benjamin: The way I see it; your show is capable of so much more.
Garth Algar: Well, we'll try harder, OK? Just give us a second
 chance. Just don't go and cancel us without giving us a second
 chance!

{Instead of saying "Excuse me, I beg your pardon?" (also in _Wayne's
 World 2_ (qv))}
Wayne Campbell: Exsqueeze me? Baking powder?

Benjamin: Do you have a lawyer?
Wayne Campbell: Yes! Ahm, no. We're between lawyers right now. You
 see, our first lawyer screwed our affairs so bad.
Garth Algar: That's right. I walked right to that office - that's
 what I did - and I reached across that desk and I grabbed him by his
 fat head and I said "Listen man! I'm not going to jail for YOU or
 for anybody!".

Terry: Wayne! Wayne! Garth told me about the show, man. I love you
 man.
Wayne Campbell: Yea, and I love you too, Terry.
Terry: No no no, I mean it man. I LOVE you!
Wayne Campbell: No, I-I mean it. I love you.
Terry: No you don't, man. I love you.
Wayne Campbell being hugged by Terry: Garth! Hey, come over here, I
 think Terry has something he wants to say to you.
Terry: I love you, man.
Garth Algar: Thank you!

Russel: It will be Terry's job to give the actors their hand cue.
Wayne Campbell: Excuse me, Russel, but I believe I requested the hand
 job...

Benjamin Oliver: So Garth, how do you like being in a studio?
Garth Algar: Ahm, it's like a new pair of underwear, you know... At
 first it's constrictive, but after a while it becomes a part of you.

{Suggesting ordering Chinese food}
Wayne Campbell: I like the cream of some young man.

{Wayne and Garth are lying on the hood of the mirth-mobile, staring at
 the starlit sky}
Garth Algar: Sometimes I wish I could boldly go where no man has gone
 before ... but I'll probably stay in Aurora. What are you thinking
 about?
Wayne Campbell: Cassandra. She's a fox. In French she would be
 called "la renarde" and she would be hunted with only her cunning to
 protect her.
Garth Algar: She's a babe.
Wayne Campbell: She's a robo-babe. In Latin she would be called
 "babia majora".
Garth Algar: If she were a president she would be Baberaham Lincoln.
{A brief pause}
Garth Algar: Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a
 dress and played girl bunny?
Wayne Campbell cracks up laughing: No... No!
Garth Algar: Neither did I. I was just asking.

Mikita's Manager, Glen: Anything wrong, Davy?
Davy: Yeah, I got paid today.
Mikita's Manager, Glen: Yeah, I know what that's like.
Davy: No. You don't understand. They laid me off. I got one of
 these.
Mikita's Manager, Glen: Yeah, I know how that feels.
Davy: Know what I'd like to do?
Mikita's Manager, Glen: Yeah I know what you'd like to do. You'd like
 to find the guy who did it, rip his still beating heart out of his
 chest and hold it in front of his face so he can see how black it is
 before he dies.
Davy: Actually, I was thinking of filing a disagreement with the
 union.
Mikita's Manager, Glen: Well, the world's a twisted place.

Mikita's Manager, Glen: You know, if you stab a man in the dead of
 winter, steam will rise up from the wounds. Indians believed it was
 his soul escaping from his body.

Garth Algar: OK ... First I'll access the secret military spy satelite
 that is in geosynchronous orbit over the midwest. Then I'll ID the
 limo by the vanity plate "MR. BIGGG" and get his approximate
 position. Then I'll reposition the transmission dish on the remote
 truck to 17.32 degrees east, hit WESTAR 4 over the Atlantic, bounce
 the signal back into the aerosphere up to COMSAT 6, beam it back to
 SATCOM 2 transmitter number 137 and down on the dish on the back of
 Mr. Big's limo... It's almost too easy.

{See _Terminator 2: Judgment Day_ (qv)}
{Wayne Campbell is stopped by a traffic cop}
Wayne Campbell: Yes, officer, is there a problem?
T-1000: Have you seen this boy?

Cassandra: I don't believe I've ever had French champagne before...
Benjamin Kane: Oh, actually all champagne is French, it's named after
 the region. Otherwise it's sparkling white wine. Americans of
 course don't recognize the convention so it becomes that thing of
 calling all of their sparkling white champagne, even though by
 definition they're not.

Wayne Campbell: Ah yes, it's a lot like _"Star Trek: The Next
 Generation"_ (qv). In many ways it's superior but will never be as
 recognized as the original.

Wayne and Garth to Alice Cooper: We're not worthy! We're not worthy!

Wayne Campbell: I know I don't have his looks. I know I don't have
 his money. I know I don't have his connections, his knowledge of
 fine wines. I know sometimes when I eat I get this clicking sound
 in my jaw...

{See also the crazy-credits for quotes}
@
#WAYNE'S WORLD 2 (1993)
{Pickup-line}
Honey Horne: So, would you like to have dinner one night?
Garth Algar: Oh, I like to have dinner every night.

Honey Horne: I bet you like to be in control...
Garth Algar: Yes, like when I was 17, my sister wanted to loan my Def
 Leppard. I said "No way!".

Honey Horne: Take me, Garth!
Garth Algar: Where?

{Instead of saying "Excuse me, I beg your pardon?" (also in _Wayne's
 World_ (qv))}
Wayne Campbell: Exsqueeze me? A baking-powder?
@
#WE'RE NO ANGELS (1955)
Albert: I think he looks like a glass of milk.

O'Hara: Time. Time. What is time? Swiss manufacture it. French
 horde it. Italians want it. Americans say it is money. Hindus say
 it does not exist. Do you know what I say? I say time is a crook.
@
#WEB, THE (1947)
Bob Regan: When I'm worth forty million dollars, I'm going to have a
 secretary looks exactly like you.
Noel Faraday: Oh, my tastes are fairly simple. Twenty million would be
 quite enough.

Bob Regan: France fell in eighteen days, and you're not as tough as
 France.
@
#WEIRD SCIENCE
Chet: You two donkey-dicks couldn't get laid in a morgue.
@
#WELCOME HOME, ROXY CARMICHAEL (1990)
Dinky Bossetti: Who understands ANYONE these days... who WANTS to?
Gerald Howells: Gosh, I want to kiss you so bad, Dinky...
Dinky Bossetti: It's good to want things...
@
#WHAT'S UP, DOC? (1972)
Eunice: What if it's in the bathroom?
Fritz: Impossible, madam. Snakes, as you know, live in mortal fear
 of... tile.
@
#WHEN HARRY MET SALLY... (1989)
Harry Burns: No man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive.
 He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So you are saying that a man can be friends with a
 woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No, you pretty much want to nail them too.

Jess: You made a woman meow?

Harry Burns: The fact that you're not answering leads me to believe
 that (a) You're not home, (b) You're home but you don't want to talk
 to me, or (c) You're home, desperately want to talk to me, but
 you're trapped under something heavy. If it's either (a) or (c),
 please give me a call.
@
#WHEN LADIES MEET (1933)
Mary: What do you think I am?! He's a married man!
Bridgie: Of course he is--the good ones always are. Someone has always
 beaten you to it.
@
#WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING (1995)
Lucy: If you fit into my pants I think I'll kill myself.
@
#WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT (1988)
Jessica: I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.

Jessica: I love you more than any woman's ever loved a rabbit.

Marilyn: Is he always this funny, or only on days when he's wanted for
 murder?
@
#WHY ME? (1990)
Gus Cardinale: Bruno, that's the stupidest idea I've ever heard.
Bruno: Don't worry, there's plenty of more where that came from...

Francis Mahoney: What's the matter? Did you get your face caught in a
 zipper?

{Gus Cardinale is hanging in a wire outside a skyscraper when two CIA
 agents appear at the roof}
CIA Agent: Hey, don't try anything stupid down there.
Gus Cardinale: What could be fucking stupider than this?
@
#WILD AT HEART (1990)
Lula: This whole world's wild at heart and weird on top.

OO Spool: My dog barks some. Mentally, you picture my dog, even
 though you don't know the type dog I have. Maybe you even picture
 Toto from The Wizard of Oz. But I can tell you my dog is always
 with me. WOOF!!!!!!

Lula: Uh oh. Baby, you'd better get me back to that hotel. You got
 me hotter than Georgia asphalt.
@
#WILD MAN OF BORNEO, THE (1941)
Francine Diamond: There ain't no flies on me!
J. Daniel Thompson: You can't blame the flies, Francine.
@
#WILD ONE, THE (1954)
Girl in a bar: So Johnny, what're you rebelling against?
Johnny: What've you got?
@
#WILL SUCCESS SPOIL ROCK HUNTER? (1957)
Rita Marlowe: I picked him up, I can pick him down.
@
#WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY (1971)
Willy Wonka: No other factory in the world mixes its chocolate by
 waterfall.

Willy Wonka: There's no earthly way of knowing / Which direction we
 are going / There's no knowing where we're rowing / Or which way the
 river's flowing / Is it raining? / Is it snowing? / Is a hurricane
 a-blowing? / Not a speck of light is showing / So the danger must be
 growing / Are the fires of hell a-glowing? / Is the grisly reaper
 mowing? / Yes, the danger must be growing / 'Cause the rowers keep
 on rowing / And they're certainly not showing / Any signs that they
 are slowing!

Willy Wonka: Bubbles, bubbles everywhere, and not a drop to drink!

Willy Wonka: If the good Lord had intended us to walk he wouldn't have
 invented roller-skates.

Willy Wonka: Everything inside is eatable, I mean edible, I mean you
 can eat everything.

Willy Wonka: So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike
 that. Reverse it.

Willy Wonka: The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
@
#WINGS OF DESIRE (1988)
Nick Cave: From here to eternity...
@
#WITCH HUNT (1994) (TV)
Kim Hudson: What about our marriage?
Gottileb: That wasn't a marriage, that was a license to shop.
@
#WITNESS (1985)
Rachel Lapp: I just don't like my son spending all his time with a man
 who carries a gun and goes around whacking people.
John Book: Whacking? Whacking?

John Book: Whacking, I'm hell at whacking.

John Book: How do I look - I mean, do I look Amish?

John Book: If we'd made love last night I would have had to stay. Or
 you would have had to leave.
@
#WITNESS FOR THE PROSECUTION (1957)
Sir Wilfrid: Be prepared for hysterics and even a fainting spell.
 Better have smelling salts handy and a nip of brandy.
Christine Vole: I do not think that will be necessary. I never faint
 because I am not sure that I will fall gracefully and I never use
 smelling salts because they puff up the eyes. I am Christine Vole.

Leonard Vole: But this is England, where I thought you never arrest,
 let alone convict, people for crimes they have not committed.
Sir Wilfrid: We try not to make a habit of it.
@
#WOLF MAN, THE (1941)
Maleva: The way you walk was thorny through no fault of your own, but
 as the rain enters the soil the river enters the sea, so tears run
 to a predestined end. Your suffering is over. Now you will find
 peace for eternity.
@
#WOMAN OF THE YEAR (1942)
{Last Line}
Sam Craig: I've just launched Gerald.
@
#WOMAN'S VENGEANCE, A (1947)
Dr. Libbard: Some women cry as easily as a pig grunts. And enjoy it
 very nearly as much.
@
#WOMEN, THE (1939)
Crystal: There's a word for you ladies, but it is seldom used in high
 society, outside of a kennel.
@
#WORKING GIRL (1988)
{When Cyn and Tess McGill are looking through Katherine Parker's
 wardrobe for a dress}
Cyn: Six thousand dollars? It's not even leather!

Cyn: Sometimes I dance around the living room in my underwear, that
 don't make me Madonna!

{In the bar}
Tess McGill: I have a head for business and a body for sin. Is there
 anything wrong with that?
Jack Trainer: Uh, no. No.

{In front of the elevator}
Tess McGill: You know, maybe I just don't like you.
Jack Trainer: Me? Naaah!
@
#WRONG MAN, THE (1957)
Lt. Bowers: An innocent man has nothing to fear, remember that.
@
#WRONG TROUSERS, THE (1993)
Wallace: Cracking toast Gromit!

Wallace: It's the wrong trousers Gromit, and they've gone wrong!
@
#YANKEE DOODLE DANDY (1942)
George M. Cohan: My mother thanks you, my father thanks you, my sister
 thanks you, and I thank you.

{George M. Cohan comes into apartment and smells somthing cooking}
George M. Cohan: Mmmmm.....ham or bacon?
Mary: Bacon.
George M. Cohan: Good. Ham makes me self-conscious.
@
#YELLOW SUBMARINE (1968)
Chief Meanie: Pepperland is a tickle of joy on the blue belly of the
 universe. It must be scratched. Right, Max?
Max: Yes, Your Blueness.
Chief Meanie: WHAT?! We Meanies only take "no" for an answer! Is
 that understood, Max?
Max: No, Your Blueness!
Chief Meanie: That's better.

Chief Meanie: A thing of beauty; destroy it forever!

Old Fred: Help! Help! Help!
Ringo: No thanks, don't need any.
Old Fred: Won't you please, please help me!

Ringo: Hey, I wonder what'll happen if I pull this lever.
Old Fred: Oh, you mustn't do that now.
Ringo: Can't help it. I'm a born lever-puller.

John: Hey Ringo, I just had the strangest dream.
Ringo: I warned you not to eat on an empty stomach.

Jeremy: Ad hoc, ad loc, and quid pro quo! So little time! So much to
 know!

{Jeremy is writing with his foot.}
Jeremy: These are the footnotes for my nineteenth book. This is my
 standard procedure for doing it. And while I compose it, I'm also
 reviewing it!
John: ...Were your notices good?
Jeremy: It's my policy never to read my reviews.

Chief Blue Meanie: It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where can we go?
Max: Argentina?
@
#YOU BELONG TO ME (1941)
Peter Kirk: Are there many lady doctors?
Helen Hunt: A few.
Peter Kirk: As beautiful as you?
Helen Hunt: No doubt.
Peter Kirk: The time I've wasted being well.
@
#YOU CAN'T CHEAT AN HONEST MAN (1939)
Larson E. Whipsnade: I'm taking on the personality of a Mexican
 jumping bean. First the contortionist gets rheumatism. Then the
 sword-swallower gets tonsilitis. Hope nothing happens to that fan
 dancer... not 'til I get rid of this cold, anyway.

Larson E. Whipsnade: You kids are disgusting! Standing around all day,
 reeking of popcorn and lollipops.

Larson E. Whipsnade sings in shower: I'd rather have two girls / At
 twenty-one each / Than one girl at forty-two!

Man: There's been a mistake in my change.
Larson E. Whipsnade: Ah, at long last, an honest man. Want to return
 some money?
Man: No, I'm short!
Larson E. Whipsnade: Don't brag about it. I'm only five-feet-eight
 myself.

Larson E. Whipsnade: As my dear old grandfather Litvak said (just
 before they swung the trap), he said "You can't cheat an honest
 man. Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump."
@
#YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN (1974)
Dr. Frankenstein: Damn your eyes!
Igor to camera: Too late.
@
#YOUNG GIRLS OF ROCHEFORT, THE (1968)
Maxence: Je vais en perm' a Nantes.
@
#YOUNG GUNS (1988)
Richard Brewer: Papers can't do anything right.

"Dirty Steve" Stephens: Did you guys see the size of that chicken?

Charley Bowdre: Hey, Chavez, how come they ain't killing us?
"Dirty Steve" Stephens: Because we're in the spirit world, asshole.
 They can't see us.

William H. Bonney: Reap the whirlwind, Brady! Reap it!

William H. Bonney: Trying to make it to Mexico, that's the test of all
 tests. I'm in.
Josiah G. Scurlock: I'm really not liking him.

William H. Bonney: If we're caught, we're gonna hang... But there's
 many a slip twixt the cup and the lip.

William H. Bonney: You know, Sir, I do admire you, and I sure would
 like to touch the gun that's gonna kill Billy the Kid.

William H. Bonney: "Dear Governor Axtell. I've heard that you will
 give 200 dollars for my head. Perhaps we should meet and talk. I
 am at the Juarez village at the border. Send 3 men, and instruct
 them not to shoot, as I am unarmed. In short, Sir; I surrender.
 Your obedient servant William H. Bonney. PS: I changed my mind.
 Kiss my ass!"

Alex McSween: I'm not leaving my house.
William H. Bonney: Alex, if you stay they're gonna kill you. And then
 I'm gonna have to to go around and kill all the guys who killed you.
 That's a lot of killing.

{The "Regulators" are surrounded by 20-30 men in Alex McSween's house}
Josiah G. "Doc" Scurlock: Billy, what are we gonna do now?
William H. Bonney: We're gonna show these guys they've finally met
 their match!

{When the cavalry arrives}
Josiah G. "Doc" Scurlock: Billy, we're good, but this is getting
 ridiculous.
William H. Bonney: I like these odds...

"Dirty Steve" Stephens: Damn good riding with you, Chavez.
Jose Chavez Y Chavez: Many nights, my friend... Many nights I've put
 a blade to your throat while you were sleeping. Glad I never killed
 you, Steve. You're all right...
@
#YOUNG GUNS II (1990)
Charles Phalen: William H. Bonney, heh? Billy the Kid was shot and
 killed by Pat Garret. Everybody knows that, it's common knowledge.
William H. Bonney (the Old): There are other lawyers around, you piece
 of chicken shit. Get back in the vehicle and drive before I make it
 22 just for the hell of it.

{William Shakespeare}
Jose Chavez Y Chavez: When troubles come, they come not single spies
 but in battalions.

{Last line a lot of people heard}
William H. Bonney: Yoohoo. I'll make you famous!

Doc Scurlock: You son of a bitch! You're starting to believe what
 they're writing about you, aren't you? Let me tell you what you
 really are! You rode a 14 year old boy straight to his grave, ant
 the rest of us straight to hell... Straight to hell! William
 H. Bonney! You are NOT a god!
William H. Bonney: Why don't you pull the trigger and find out?

Judge Bristol: ...and there be hanged by the neck till he be dead,
 dead, dead. Now, do you have anything to say, young man?
William H. Bonney: Yes I do, your Honor. You can go to hell, hell,
 hell.

William H. Bonney: "Buckshot George", that's your name. You wanted a
 name, that's it. "Buckshot George". It's a good name.
Hendry French: My name is Hendry William French.
William H. Bonney: That's a good name too.

Tom O'Tolliard: What's scum?
William H. Bonney: Well Tom, that's bad types. Politicians, bankers,
 cattle-kings... Scum...
@
#ZANDALEE (1990)
Johnny: I wanna shake you naked and eat you alive...

Zandalee to Thierry while having sex for the first time in months:
 See, all our parts work.
@
#ZELIG (1983)
{Leonard Zelig is apologizing on radio to all the people he
 misrepresented himself to}
Leonard Zelig: I especially want to apologize to the Trochman family
 in Detroit..... I never delivered a baby before, and I just thought
 that ice tongs were the way to do it.
@
#ZULU (1964)
Private: Why us? Why does it have to be us?
Sergeant: Because we're here lad.

Reverend Otto Witt: 1,000 British soldiers have been massacred. While
 I stood here talking peace, a war has started.

Private Henry Hook: Rourke's Drift... It'd take an Irishman to give
 his name to a rotten stinking middle o' nowhere hole like this.

Lieutenant John Chard: What's our strength?
Lieutenant Gonville Bromhead: 7 officers including surgeon,
 commercaries and so on, Ardndorff now I suppose, wounded and sick
 36, fit for duty 97 and about 40 native levies. Not much of an army
 for you.

Reverend Otto Witt: There are 4,000 Zulus coming against you, you must
 abandon this mission.
Lieutenant Gonville Bromhead: Damn the levies man... Cowardly blacks!
Ardndorff: What the hell do you mean "cowardly blacks"? They died on
 your side didn't they? And who the hell do you think is coming to
 wipe out your little command? The Grenadier Guards?

Lieutenant Gonville Bromhead: 60!, we got at least 60 wouldn't you
 say?
Ardndorff: That leaves only 3,940.

Colour Sergeant Bourne: It's a miracle.
Lieutenant John Chard: If it's a miracle Colour Sergeant, it's a short
 chamber Boxer Henry, point 4-5 caliber miracle.
Colour Sergeant Bourne: And a bayonet sir, with some guts behind.
@