Tuesday 14th March 1995
(C) JIPsoft


            Diary of a Young Rebel


    Saturday 6th April 2008
Hello, diary. I know I'm supposed to address you as "dear diary", but I won't.

    Sunday 7th April 2008
I'm a rebel, you see.

    Monday 8th April 2008
A young one.

    Tuesday 9th April 2008
You know it makes sense.

    Wednesday 10th April 2008
Why am I writing at such a slow pace?

    Thursday 11th April 2008
Now let me explain why I am a rebel. It's all about this system. It's rotten.
The system, that is.
  We are a fifty-three-person family (not you and me, you nut of a diary), but
the worst thing about it is that I am the only child! Yes, I do have got
twenty-six mothers and twenty-six fathers! It makes me mad. You know, there I
go shouting "Mummy!" and up pops thirteen mummies, which I tell "not you,
imbecile!" and so on.

    Friday 12th April 2008
Even the government is rotten. Why, oh why, are we governed by a fungus?
Charles Champignon, he is called. He just sits there, in his pot, and sends his
spores on any political errands. Revolting!
  And the ministers. They're fungi, too. How do I go about explaining my
educational matters to a sprout of mildew which earns a quintillion times more
money than I do? What does he do with all that money? Maybe he just buys loads
of bread for him to infest.

    Saturday 13th April 2008
I am just back from the main entrace of a restaurant. I wasn't let in because I
was wearing a tie! So I took it off and tried again. I wasn't let in because I
wasn't wearing a tie! I quickly left the area, just in case the ever-alert
amoeban police would discover the corpse of the waiter I had strangled with my
tie.

    Sunday 14th April 2008
I have taken rebellous action! Yes, I am proud to report I have just been seen
in class wearing just thirty-nine socks instead of forty. The teacher bulged
its eyes at me. I bulged mine back at it!
  Six of my mothers and six of my fathers have run off with each other. I am
left with only forty parents.

    Monday 15th April 2008
Today I have tried a different type of ice cream. It's called "Kiddie Special
#02794". The ice cream salesman assured me its mercury content was within
healthy boundaries. The portion I tasted only included half a gram of mercury!
A shame it only included a quarter of a gram of anything else.
  I think I am going to be a hermit.

    Tuesday 16th April 2008
I am a hermit. I live in one of the caves the Ancients had dwelt in. It's quite
cosy, and includes standard Ancient equipment. A shame the television only has
sixty-four channels, of which fifty-six dead. Don't ask me what a "dead"
channel is or was or will be.

    Wednesday 17th April 2008
I have noticed that I am not the only hermit in these caves. In fact, most of
my city's people are hermits.
  I have some friends, for the first time of my life. The man next door is
quite nice, except for when he thinks he is a cucumber. The lady next door to
him is also nice. She has two pairs of lovely giant squids. The person next
door to her would be nice, if I only could figure out his/her gender.

    Thursday 18th April 2008
I have run out of space in this diary, so I think I am going to end it now.