\* National Enquirer headlines in spew(6) format \* %SUBVERSIVE{s} Assassin{|s} Infiltrator{|s} Intelligence Operative{|s} Saboteur{|s} Sp{y|ies} %ACTIVITY{d} (8){Eating|Ate} \NUMBER \FRUIT/s Play{ing|ed} WIZ WAR %SPIRITUAL Clairvoyant Spiritual Telekinetic Telepathetic Telepathic %RELATIVE Aunt Brother Cousin Daughter Father Grandfather Grandmother Mother Nephew Niece Sister Son Uncle %WEAPON{a} \*{\FRUIT|\FRUIT/a} \FRUIT/& {|a }Chain Saw {|a }Feather on a Stick {|a }Hatchet {|a }LAW 80 {|a }Machete {|a }Machine Gun {|a }Meat Cleaver {|a }Phased Plasma Rifle {|a }Samurai Sword {|an }Anti-Tank Weapon {|an }Axe %GHOST Bogie Man Demon Evil Spirit Ghost Phantom Poltergeist Spook %RELIGION Atheist Baptist Bhuddist Catholic Islamic Methodist Muslim Roman Catholic Taoist %MONK{s} Druid{|s} Monk{|s} Priest{|s} %UFO Apollo Space Module Flying Saucer Galactic Space Cruiser Mother Ship Space Ship Space Cruiser UFO USS Enterprise %PLANET Jupiter Mars Mercury Neptune Pluto Saturn The Moon Uranus Venus %ET{s} Alien{|s} Being{|s} Cyborg{|s} E.T.{|'s} Extra-Terrestrial{|s} Humanoid{|s} Space Alien{|s} Space Being{|s} %DRUG Acid Amphetamines Angel Dust Cocaine Coke Crack Ecstasy Heroin LSD Quaaludes Vimto %FRUIT{as} {|a |}Banana{||s} {|a |}Cherr{y|y|ies} {|a |}Lemon{||s} {|a |}Lime{||s} {|a |}Mango{||es} {|a |}Pear{||s} {|a |}Plum{||s} {|a |}Tangerine{||s} {|a |}Tomato{||es} {|an |}Apple{||s} {|an |}Apricot{||s} {|an |}Orange{||s} %MADNESS Crazed Devoted Drug-Crazed Fanatical Insane Loony Manic Depressive Neurotic Pathological Psychopathic Psychotic Religious %FACTION{s} Environmentalist{|s} Fascist{|s} Feminist{|s} Leftie{|s} Liberal{|s} Marxist{|s} Socialist{|s} %KILLER{s} (2)\ANIMAL/& \MADNESS \ANIMAL/& \MADNESS \FACTION/& %ANIMAL{s} Bee{|s} Clam{|s} Crocodile{|s} Dolphin{|s} Elephant{|s} Ewok{|s} Great White Shark{|s} Gremlin{|s} Kitten{|s} Ladybird{|s} Leopard{|s} Lion{|s} Lobster{|s} Panda{|s} Shark{|s} Tiger{|s} Wasp{|s} Whale{|s} Wombat{|s} Worm{|s} %MCELEB Bill Clinton Bob Dylan Burt Reynolds George Bush George Lucas Jeremy Beadle John Major Michael Douglas Michael Jackson Michael Parkinson Mick Jagger Norman Lamont Norman Tebbit Paul Daniels Prince Prince Charles Richard Nixon Ronald Reagan Sylvester Stallone %FCELEB Anneka Rice Kate Bush Cher Cyndi Lauper Dolly Parton Hillary Clinton Jane Fonda Joan Rivers Kathleen Turner Linda Ronstadt Madonna Margaret Thatcher Nancy Reagan Princess Diana The Queen Tina Turner %BABY{s} Bab{y|ies} Child{|ren} Daughter{|s} Son{|s} %FDEAD\* female persons long dead Cleopatra Joan of Arc Lady Godiva Queen Victoria The Queen of Sheba %DFCELEB\* dead female 'celebrities' (4)\FDEAD Audrey Hepburn Janis Joplin Marilyn Monroe %MDEAD\* male persons long dead Abraham Lincoln Atilla the Hun George Washington King Henry VIII Moses %DMCELEB\* dead male celebs (3)Elvis Adolf Hitler Bing Crosby Charlie Chaplin Groucho Marx Herman Goering JFK Jim Morrison Jimi Hendrix John F. Kennedy John Lennon Kenneth Williams Martin Bormann Sid James Tony Hancock \MDEAD %DCELEB \DFCELEB \DMCELEB %DEAD \FDEAD \MDEAD %EAT{sd} Devour{|s|ed} Injure{|s|d} Kidnap{|s|ped} Kill{|s|ed} Maim{|s|ed} Molest{|s|ed} Rape{|s|d} {Eat|Eats|Ate} T{ake|akes|ook} %SAY{s} Claim{|s} Insist{|s} Reveal{|s} Say{|s} %DOCTOR{s} Dentist{|s} Doctor{|s} Neurologist{|s} Optician{|s} Pediatrician{|s} Physician{|s} Psychiatrist{|s} Psychologist{|s} Veterinarian{|s} %SCIENTIST{s} AI Expert{|s} Brain Boff{|s} Chemist{|s} Computer Scientist{|s} Engineer{|s} Mathematician{|s} Meta-physicist{|s} Pattern Recognition Researcher{|s} Physicist{|s} Professor{|s} Scientist{|s} Technician{|s} Whiz Kid{|s} \DOCTOR/& %NATIONALITY Albanian American Australian Belgian Canadian Chinese Dutch French German Japanese Mexican Polish Russian South American Soviet Spanish Swiss Ukranian %DISEASE AIDS Backache Cancer Chicken Pox Flu Headache Herpes Laryngitis Leprosy Malaria Nosebleed Tuberculosis VD %FICTCHAR Batman Bhudda Bigfoot Captain Kirk God James Bond Humpty Dumpty Kermit the Frog Mary Poppins Mr Spock Santa Claus Snow White Spiderman Superman The Loch Ness Monster The Tooth Fairy The Wicked Witch of the West The Wizard of Oz Yogi Bear %KILL{sd} Assassinate{|s|d} Kill{|s|ed} Maim{|s|ed} Mug{|s|ged} Murder{|s|ed} Mutilate{|s|d} Sho{ot|ots|t} Slaughter{|s|ed} %NUMBER \NUMBER1 (2)\NUMBER2 Twenty-\NUMBER1 Thirty-\NUMBER1 Forty-\NUMBER1 Fifty-\NUMBER1 Sixty-\NUMBER1 Seventy-\NUMBER1 Eighty-\NUMBER1 Ninety-\NUMBER1 %NUMBER1 Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine %NUMBER2 Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen Seventeen Eighteen Nineteen %FOOD{a} (5)\FRUIT/& {|a }Bowl of Custard {|a }Cadbury's Creme Egg {|a }Strawberry Cornetto {|a }Tapioca Pudding {|a }Tin of Baked Beans {|a }Watermelon %PROFESSION{s} Air Traffic Controller{|s} Bus Conductor{|s} Football Player{|s} Game Show Host{|s} Member{|s} of The \GROUP Pigeon Fancier{|s} Politician{|s} Sheep Farmer{|s} Student{|s} Sumo Wrestler{|s} TV Personalit{y|ies} \RELIGION \MONK/& %GROUP American Autoduel Association C.I.A. Discordian Society Eco-Guerrillas Evil Geniuses For A Better Tomorrow F.B.I. Flat Earthers Gnomes Of Zurich I.R.S. Illuminati International Cocaine Smugglers International Communist Conspiracy Iranian Moderates KGB Ku Klux Klan Mafia Moonies Nephews Of God Semiconscious Liberation Army Servants Of Cthulhu Society For Creative Anarchism Society Of Assassins South American Nazis %PERSON{s} (3)\PROFESSION/& Unemployed \PROFESSION/& Unemployed \SCIENTIST/& Unemployed \SUBVERSIVE/& \DOCTOR/& \ET/& \KILLER/& \NATIONALITY \DOCTOR/& \NATIONALITY \PROFESSION/& \NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/& \NATIONALITY \SUBVERSIVE/& %AIRCRAFT 747 Airplane Airship Concorde DC-10 Hang Glider Hawker Harrier Helicopter Helium Balloon Hot Air Balloon Jet Fighter %VEHICLE Bicycle Bus Car Taxicab Train Tram %TRANSPORT (7)\VEHICLE \AIRCRAFT %CELEB \FCELEB \MCELEB %FARAWAYPLACE{a} (6)\SPACE/& {|at }the South Pole {|in }the Fourth Dimension %SPACE{a} (8){|on }\PLANET {|in }the Crab Nebula %FICTPLACE Dr. Who's Tardis Magrathea Middle Earth Mordor Nirvana Planet Vulcan The Shire %PLACE Amsterdam Austin, Texas Australia BBC Television Centre Bangkok Beirut Disneyland Euro Disney France Hollywood Israel L.A. Lisbon London Majorca Manchester Memphis Milton Keynes Monte Carlo Moscow Nevada New York Orlando, Florida Outer Space Paris Red Square San Francisco Stalingrad The Kremlin Times Square Tokyo Transylvania \FICTPLACE \FARAWAYPLACE %DENIAL "I was framed by my \RELATIVE!" "I was in \PLACE at the time!" "It was \CELEB, not me!" "It wasn't me!" %MAIN Today's Headline:\!\!\CONST.\! %INVOLVED \! -- \CELEB May Be Involved \! -- \CELEB Reveals All %PROOF (2)\PHOTO \! -- \NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/s Offer Undeniable Proof %PHOTO \! -- Exclusive Pictures Inside \! -- National Enquirer Photo Exclusive \! -- Photographic Evidence Offers Proof %CONST "Does \FICTCHAR Exist?" \NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/s Offer New Evidence "I Am The Reincarnation of \FDEAD", \SAY/s \FCELEB "I Am The Reincarnation of \MDEAD", \SAY/s \MCELEB "I Chopped My \RELATIVE To Death With \WEAPON/a" -- \PERSON "I Saw \DCELEB Alive and Well in \PLACE" \SAY/s \PERSON "I \KILL/d My \BABY with a \WEAPON" \SAY/s \FCELEB\PHOTO "I \KILL/d My \BABY with a \WEAPON" \SAY/s \FCELEB\PHOTO "I spoke to \DCELEB through \FRUIT/a" \SAY/s \PERSON "Killer \KILLER/s From \SPACE \EAT/d My \BABY" \SAY/s \CELEB\PHOTO "\CELEB Is Addicted to \DRUG"\PROOF "\CELEB Is Really \ET From \SPACE" \SAY \NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/s "\CELEB Is Really \ET From \SPACE" \SAY/s \CELEB "\DCELEB Died From \ACTIVITY", \SAY/s \CELEB\PROOF "\ET/s From \SPACE Gave Me \DISEASE" \SAY/s \CELEB "\ET/s From \SPACE Landed In My Garden And \ACTIVITY/d" \SAY/s \CELEB "\FCELEB is really my mother", \SAY/s \CELEB "\FCELEB is the Mother Of My \BABY", \SAY/s \MCELEB\INVOLVED "\FICTCHAR \EAT/d My \BABY", \SAY/s \PERSON "\FICTCHAR is for real".\! -- \NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/s come up with undeniable proof "\MCELEB is really my father", \SAY/s \CELEB "\MCELEB is the Father Of My \BABY", \SAY/s \MADNESS \PERSON "\NATIONALITY \SUBVERSIVE/s \KILL/d My Pet \ANIMAL", \SAY/s \CELEB Amazing \MADNESS \ANIMAL from \PLACE Eating \FRUIT/s Can Give You \DISEASE, \SAY \NATIONALITY \DOCTOR/s In \MADNESS Rage, \PERSON \KILL/s \NUMBER, In \PLACE Jury Acquit Notorious \WEAPON Murderer From \PLACE Real Life Ghost Busters Exorcise \GHOST from \CELEB/ 's home in \PLACE Travelling To \PLACE In A Stolen \AIRCRAFT -- \CELEB Tells All\PHOTO \CELEB Falls \NUMBER thousand feet out of \AIRCRAFT ... and survives \CELEB Gets \DISEASE From Eating \FOOD/a \CELEB is a Secret Member of The \GROUP\PHOTO \CELEB Renounces All to become a \PROFESSION\PHOTO \CELEB \KILL/s \NUMBER \PERSON/s in Drunken Rampage \CELEB/ 's \BABY \KILL/d by Pet \ANIMAL\PHOTO \FCELEB Files Paternity Suit Against \FCELEB -- Claiming Sex Change \FCELEB Gives birth to \NUMBER \BABY/s\INVOLVED \FCELEB Tells Of Night Of Terror With \MCELEB. "He Threatened Me With \WEAPON/a" \FRUIT/s Have \SPIRITUAL Powers, \SAY \NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/s\PROOF \MCELEB Tells Of Night Of Terror With \FCELEB. "She Threatened Me With \WEAPON/a" \MCELEB and \FCELEB Secretly Wed in \PLACE, It's Official\PHOTO \MCELEB and \FCELEB Seen Together in \PLACE. "Is It Love?" \NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/s Produce \SPIRITUAL \ANIMAL Girl \NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/s discover lost city of \PLACE \NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/s resurrect \DCELEB\PROOF \NUMBER Years For Smuggling \DRUG into \PLACE. \DENIAL, \SAY/s \CELEB \NUMBER Years For \MADNESS \WEAPON Murderer. "I Would Do It Again" Says \CELEB \PERSON Goes Berserk And \KILL/s \NUMBER \PERSON/s With \WEAPON \PERSON Sees Face Of \FICTCHAR In \FOOD/a \PERSON Struck By Lightning -- \NUMBER Times \PERSON \KILL/s \NUMBER \PERSON/s With \WEAPON, Then Is Acquitted By Jury \PERSON, stoned on \DRUG, \KILL/s \NUMBER \PERSON/s \PERSON/ 's Bizarre Claim: "\NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/s Planted Mind Control Device In My Head" \RELIGION \MONK/s report \UFO Sighting in \PLACE -- "They Came From \SPACE!"\PROOF \SCIENTIST/s Discover \FCELEB Was Married to \MDEAD in Previous Life \TRANSPORT Found \FARAWAYPLACE/a\PROOF \VEHICLE Seen Levitating Over \PLACE\PHOTO %%