%MAIN

\!... Whilst \SYSTEM , \SPACEDOG \PERSON of the \DESC \MODEL , \SHIP \NUM , \ENCOUNTER \PERSON \LEAD \RESULT. \! 

%SYSTEM

at Deep Space
near some Black-Hole
in the outer reaches of the Galaxy
drinking at Quarks Bar
trading with Quark
doing a spell in Jail
cruising the fringes of known space
testing his opponants defences
refitting his ship for battle
at a space concert
in the middle of a frank exchange of views
exchanging Exawatt for Exawatt
absorbed in a deadly space dog-fight
chatting with the engineers at Deep Space
fitting some new hardware
perusing new ships on offer
orbiting a unknown sun
the mythical planet of Magrathea
over Tooting Bec common
in the middle of a barbrawl in Quark's
arm wrestling in Quark's
sweeping the galley
engaged in a intense communion with nature
washing the dishes in the galley
scraping paint from the exterior of Deep Space
torturing his latest conquest
in the middle of servicing his concubine

%SPACEDOG
space dog
captain
ships captain
the infamous pirate
the Evil Lord
do-gooder
all round nice guy
the mean and horrible
the fetid breath
the yellow fanged
the gimlet-eyed
terrorist
freedom fighter
multiple rapist
racist
treatcherous
bounty hunter
lowly technician
soup nozzle cleaner
cargobay sweeper
Quark's Barman
admiral
drug lord
empiror
the Omnipotent
cook hand
Quark's stripper
Mr
Sir
Master
Doctor
Duke
King
Prince

%PERSON
Warmaster
Lagartija Nick
Lord Thermopyle
Cannon Fodder
Teckie
Moth
Darkman
Morpheus

%SHIP
Aardvark
Cyberstorm
Point Killer
Satori
The Machine
Boloxia
Searcher
Abandon
Celestial Harmony
Toaster
Liberator
Enterprise
Heart of Gold
Eliminator
Afterburner
Death Wish
Kill-O-Zap
Headbutt
Victory
Black-Knob
Discovery
Voyager
Zeus
Xenolink
Excelsior
Excalibur
Revenge
Retribution
Space Tub
Red Dwarf
Fat Mother
Beetle
Destroyer of Worlds
Necrophile

%NUM
II
III
IV
V
VI
VII
2
3


%DESC
battle weary
laser scarred
shiny new
sleek black
poxy
newly purchased
pock-marked
newly redecorated
grafitti covered
newly painted
baubled
squeeky clean
spanking brand new
shot to shit
unbearably technologically advanced
painfully slow
hidiously expensive
chronically jinxed
hopelessly hexed
obscenely phallic
unobtrusive
garish neon

%MODEL
life pod
shuttle
cruiser
carrier
mercinary
snip ship
condore
Klingon -Bird of Prey-
Romulan -War Bird-
Protruder
Federation Battleship
Federation Class A
Holden Kingswood

%ENCOUNTER
ran into
fought a vicious space battle with
argued over \PRODUCT  prices with
dealt \PRODUCT  with
bribed
joined forces with
forged a corporation with
made love to
fiendishly plotted with
formed an unholy alliance with
performed bizarre birth rites with
exchanged supplies of \PRODUCT  with
consumed the ships supplies of \PRODUCT  with
encountered
vomited on
bought a beer for

%PRODUCT
isotropic crystals
replicators
Guiness bitter
slaves
cerium metal
contraband
coffee
vodka
sperm
replacement body parts
condoms
arsenic
marijuana
2000AD comics
coke
widgets
hard drugs
pirate software
amiga hardware

%LEAD
which resulted in
and ended up causing
which lead to
which brought on
causing
having the spectacular effect of
the end product being
the outcome of which was

%RESULT
mutual death
the involved parties becoming very drunk
multiple orgasms
Deep Space turning into a free-love zone
an increase in embarrasing body odour
severe hair loss
many planets being destroyed
several species of small furry animal becomming extinct
a new wormhole being discovered
Quark shouting, 'On the house!'
both ships turning into a bowl of petunias and a small sperm whale
the SysOp increasing the turn ratio
dropping carrier and hanging the BBS
many changes of underwear
a massive drop in the price of \PRODUCT 
a surge in the price of \PRODUCT
the destruction of the universe as we know it
a very bad television series to come into being
not very much
bugger all
beers all round
much Evil Cackling
several small deities having a cocktail party
raucous laughter
jammed traffic for lightyears
Deep Space banning \PRODUCT 
universal free trading of \PRODUCT
stunned silence
embarrassed looks
Quark going out of business
Quark doing special black market deals on \PRODUCT
everyone staying in on Saturday night
no-one getting up for work in the morning
the Darksides Gig drive failing
everyone registering Deep Space
bad modem connects across the universe
everyone giving up and playing Global War instead
the mother of all parties
a small nuclear exchange and mutal destruction