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A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without
 providing you with company.
A chicken doesn't stop scratching just because the worms are scarce.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything.
A conservative is a worshipper of dead radicals.
A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
A fail-safe circuit will destroy all others.
A fool and his money are soon parted.
A fool must now and then be right by chance.
A fool plunges ahead with great confidence.
A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.
A liberal is someone too poor to be conservative,
 and too rich to be a communist.
A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.
A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.
A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.
A sharp tongue and a dull mind are usually found in the same head.
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
A statistician is a person who draws a mathematically precise line
 from an unwarranted assumption to a forgone conclusion.
A transistor protected by a fast acting fuse will
 protect the fuse by blowing first.
A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
A wise man has something to say, a fool has to say something.
A wish is a desire without an attempt.
According to the latest official figures,
 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.
Acting on a good idea is better than just having a good idea.
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.
After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.
Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
All animals are created equal, but some animals
 are created more equal than others.
All general statements are false.
All great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time.
All in all, you're just another brick in the wall....
All's fair in Love and War
 (Is there a difference?)
Always remember that strength is obtained by meeting resistance.
An easily understood workable falsehood is more useful
 than a complex incomprehensible truth
An experiment may be considered successful if no more than half the data
 must be discarded to agree with the theory.
An optimist believes that we live in the best of all possible worlds,
 the pessimist FEARS it's true.
An optimist is one who makes the best of it,
 when he gets the worst of it.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Any government that is strong enough to give the people everything they 
 want is a government that's strong enough to take it away.
Any program will expand to fill available memory.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
 Arthur C. Clarke
Any system that depends on human reliability is unreliable.
Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.
Apathy is the worlds fastest growing disease.
 But who cares?
Attitude determines your altitude.
Average is as close to the bottom as to the top.
Attitude determines your altitude.
Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.
Beauty may only be skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Beauty times brains equals a constant.
Being born was just the first of my crimes.
Better a pebble given out of love, than a diamond given out of duty.
Beware of altruism.  It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.
Big Brother is Watching!
 George Orwell
Boycott Jane Fonda.
 (everyone hates Jane Fonda, don't they?)
By perseverance, the snail reached the ark.
Calculation never made a hero.
Change is certain, progress is not.
Character is what you know you are, not what others think you are.
Coles Law:  Thinly Sliced Cabbage
Confession is good for the soul, but bad for the career.
Confusion creates jobs!
Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
Delusions are often functional.
Democracy is based on the assumption that a million
 men are wiser than one.
Desperate men do desperate things.
Digital circuits are made from analog parts.
Do someone a favor and it becomes your job.
Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
Eliminate government waste no matter how much it costs.
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Established technology tends to persist in spite of new technology.
Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
Every dog has his day.
Every man has the right to be wrong in his opinions,
 but no man has the right to be wrong in his facts.
Every man must row with the oars he has.
Every purchase has its price.
Every solution breeds new problems.
Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.
Everything is worth what its purchaser will pay for it.
Expenditures rise to meet available income.
Experience enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Expert advice is a great comfort, even when it's wrong.
Facts are stubborn things.
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
For whatever reason, be it historical, or oppression, or what have you,
 there are an awful lot of not too bright women.
Forgive and Remember.
Form never follows function.
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Friends don't let their friends drive drunk.
Get yours while there's still some left.
Goals are dreams with deadlines.
God does not play dice.
God made the integers, all else is the work of man.
God may be subtle, but he isn't plain mean.
Good fences make good neighbors.
Government can't change the course of the ship,
 it merely adjusts the compass.
Government isn't the solution, it's the problem.
 Ronald Reagan
Government is an association of men who do violence to the rest of us.
Gun control is being able to hit your target.
Habit is stronger than reason.
He that would first govern others, first should be a master of himself.
He who dies with the most toys, wins!
He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
He who has the gold makes the rules.
He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
He who is ignorant of the past, is condemned to repeat it.
He who loses his head is usually the last one to miss it.
He who pays the piper calls the tune.
He who rows the boat generally doesn't have time to rock it.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Help Stamp Out and Eliminate Redundancy
 Help Stamp Out and Eliminate Redundancy
Hindsight is an exact science.
History repeats itself.
How much dirt must you shovel on something that's already dead?
Human beings are consistently inconsistent.
Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
I already came, so stop jerking me off.
I don't know, I don't care and it doesn't make any difference.
I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I
 am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
If at first you don't succeed, try someone else.
If god didn't exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
If it can't be expressed in figures, it is not science; it's opinion.
If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
If rats are experimented on, they will develop cancer.
If she's Snow White, then I must be Grumpy.
If tempted by something that feels "altruistic",
 examine your motives and root out the self-deception.
If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
If the opposite of pro is con, what is the opposite of Progress?
If there is an opinion, facts will be found to support it.
If things were left to chance, they'd be better.
It works better if you plug it in.
If you can't get the answer in the usual manner,
 start at the answer and derive the question.
If you can't measure it, I'm not interested.
If you can't win, make the one in front of you break the record.
If you consult enough experts, you can confirm any opinion.
If you do something right once, someone will ask you to do it again.
If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.
If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't
 actually live longer, it just seems that way.
If you want to get along, go along.
If you're coasting, you're going downhill.
If you've got 'em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
If you're strong enough, there are no precedents.
Ignorance is Bliss!
 George Orwell
In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct,
 beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.
In the act of loving someone, you arm them against you.
Indecision is the basis of flexibility.
Individualists Unite!
Inflation is one form of taxation that can be imposed without legislation.
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
Instead of putting others in their place, put yourself in their place.
Integrity has no need of rules.
Interchangeable parts won't.
It is better to risk saving a guilty man,
 than to condemn an innocent one.
It is the loose ends with which men hang themselves.
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
It's better to be a lion for a day, than a sheep all your life.
It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid,
 than to open it and remove all doubt.
It's fascinating how memory diffuses fact.
It's hard to detect good luck, it looks so much like
 something you've earned.
It's not easy taking problems one at a time,
 when they refuse to get in line.
It's pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious.
Law, without force is impotent.
Life is tough, life is tougher when you're stupid.
Man created god in his own image.
Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours.
Men get mad and get it over with, women hold grudges forever.
More people have died in Ted Kennedy's car than from nuclear power.
Most men who run down women are usually running down only one woman.
Most problems partially defined are problems partially solved.
Murphy was an optimist.
Murphy's Law:  If anything can go wrong, it will.
Negative expectations yield negative results,
 Positive expectations yield negative results.
Never forget what a man says to you when he's angry.
Never let hold of what you've got until you've got hold of something else.
Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
Never look behind you, something may be gaining on you.
Never program and drink beer at the same time.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
Never trust anyone that volunteers to assume authority.
Never try and teach a pig to sing,
 it wastes your time and annoys the pig.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
New Jersey?  What exit....
No action is without side effects.
No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.
No good deed goes unpunished.
No man can truly grow up while his father is still alive.
No man's life, liberty or possessions are safe while the
 legislature is in session.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
No one really knows enough to be a pessimist.
Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere in your organization.
Not all men are fools, some are bachelors.
Nothing is certain except death and taxes.
Nothing will be attempted if all possible objections
 must first be overcome.
Of all the forces acting on man, change is the most
 beneficial and the most cruel.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.
Once you eliminate the impossible, what remains is the solution,
 no matter improbable it may seem.
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can 
 them is to use a bigger can.
One man's wage rise is another man's price increase.
Only God can make a random selection.
 (Even though the computer randomly chose this message)
One of the few rules of evolution is that extreme specialization
 results in eventual extinction.
Optimization hinders evolution.
Paper is always strongest at the perforations.
Parkinson's Axioms:  Officials want to multiply subordinates.
 Officials make work for each other.
Passwords are implemented as a result of insecurity.
People are divided into two groups, the righteous and the un-righteous,
 and the righteous do the dividing.
People don't plan to fail, they fail to plan.
People who say they're willing to meet you halfway are often
 poor judges of distance.
Possessions increase to fill available space.
Power means not having to respond.
Pray for the success of atheism.
Problems are only Opportunities in Disguise.
Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the
 programmer who must maintain it.
Reading is sometimes an ingenious device for avoiding thought.
Reality is for those people who can't cope with drugs.
Reality is the illusion produced by an alcohol deficiency.
Reality is the leading cause of stress,
 among those that are in touch with reality.
Religions revolve madly around sexual questions.
Remember the turtle, he never makes any progress until
 he sticks his neck out.
Reputation is character minus what you've been caught doing.
Rust Never Sleeps.
Sacred cows make great hamburgers.
Say no, then negotiate.
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.
Shirley's Law:  Most people deserve each other.
Social legislation cannot repeal physical laws.
Software stands between man and his machine.
Sometimes you just gotta say "What the HELL!"
Sometimes you step in it, and sometimes you don't.
Sooner or later you must pay for your sins.
Statistical analysis has often meant the mainpulation of ambiguous data
 by means of dubious methods to solve a problem that has not been defined.
Stupid people shouldn't breed.
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
Technological man can't believe in anything that can't be measured,
 taped or put into a computer.
Thank God, we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
The best laid plans of mice and men are usually equal.
The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him your friend.
The best way to succeed in politics is to find a crowd that's 
 going somewhere and get in front of them.
The field of probability is too important to be left to chance.
The final test of a gentleman is his respect for those who can be
 of no possible use to him.
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
The first myth of management is that it exists.
The future isn't what it used to be.
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
The government that governs least governs best.
The greatest American superstition is the belief in facts.
The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.
The greatest masterpiece of literature is only a dictionary out of order.
The greatest productive force is human selfishness.
The hidden flaw never remains hidden.
The knowledge that a secret exists is half the secret.
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
The liberal paranoids (if that's not redundant) are at it again.
The man who invented the guillotine died under its knife.
The most dangerous of untruths, are truths moderately distorted.
The number of people in any working group tends to increase
 regardless of the amount of work to be done.
The other line moves faster.
The person who knows everything has a lot to learn.
The pessimist complains about the wind, the optimist expects it to change,
 the realist adjusts the sails.
The price of greatness is responsibility.
The probability of being watched is proportional
 to the stupidity of your actions.
The probability of failure is directly proportional to the
 anxiety of the programmer.
The real world is a special case.
The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body.
 This means that only left handed people are in their right mind.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
The secret of success is sincerity,
 learn to fake it and you've got it made.
The solution to the problem, changes the problem.
The solving of a problem lies in finding the solvers.
The sum of intelligence on the planet is constant,
 the population is growing.
The supply of government exceeds the demand.
The ten most feared words in the English language are:
 "Hello, I'm from the government and I'm here to help...."
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win,
 you're still a rat.
There is no limit to how bad things can get.
There is no such thing as a fail-safe design.
There is no such thing as a "free lunch".
 (only a choice of restaurants)
There is no such thing as a little garlic.
There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice,
 but there must never be a time when we fail to protest it.
There's three sides to every story, yours, mine
 and the cold hard truth.
Those who don't study the past will repeat its errors.
They never remember when I'm right and never forget when I'm wrong.
Time is natures way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.
Time rarely proceeds at a pace perceived by the individual as appropriate.
To love is to be vulnerable.
To make an enemy, do someone a favor.
To think is easy and to act is hard, but the hardest thing in the
 world is to act in accordance with your thinking.
Today is the day you worried about yesterday.
Tolerances will accumulate uni-directionally toward
 maximum difficultly to assemble.
Total paranoia is perfect awareness.
Trust everyone, then cut the cards.
Two farmers, each claimed to own a certain cow.  While one pulled on 
 its head and the other on the tail, the cow was milked by a lawyer.
Unity is a polite word for control.
Unless you're the lead mule, the scenery is always the same.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Walk softly and carry a big stick.
Watch out where the huskies go and don't you eat that yellow snow.
We, the willing , led by the unknowing
 are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.
We cannot imagine how our lives could be more frustrating or complex,
 but congress can...
We have met the enemy and he is us.
Wear the right costume and the part plays itself.
What's the difference between Dan Quayle and Jane Fonda?
 -- She went to Vietnam --
What men learn from history, is that men do not learn from history.
What's the difference between marriage and a gun? --- The gun is faster.
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
When all else fails, lower your standards.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
When does a system administrator do the first backup?
 The first day on the job after the system adminsitrator who never did.
When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.
When it gets to be your turn, they change the rules.
When people are free to do as they choose, 
 they usually imitate each other.
When regard for the truth has been broken down or even slightly weakened,
 all things remain doubtful.
When two men in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary.
When two people meet to decide how to spend a third person's money,
 fraud will result.
When working toward the solution of a problem,
 it always helps if you already know the answer.
When your opponent is down, kick him.
Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.
Why do divorces cost so much?
 -- Because they're worth it! --
What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.
Wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences.
Xerox never comes up with anything original.
You are better off not knowing how sausages and laws are made.
You aren't drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
You can achieve more by patience than talent.
You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories.
You can go wrong by being too skeptical
 as readily as by being too trusting.
You can have peace or you can have freedom.
 Don't ever count on having both at once.
You can observe alot just by watching.
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
You cannot successfully determine beforehand which
 side of the bread to butter.
You can't antagonize and influence at the same time.
You can't become a martyr every time you get ticked off.
You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put
 a few nickels in the machine.
You can't fix it if it ain't broke.
You can't fall off the floor.
You can't win, you can't break even, you can't even quit.
You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they
 could and should do for themselves.
You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot lift up the wage-earner up by pulling down the wage-payer.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.
You have taken yourself too seriously.
You know you're in trouble when you can't stand folks who are intolerant.
Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes, keep this is mind.
You're never alone with a schizophrenic.
A computer's attention span is only as long as its power cord.
Everything needs a little oil now and then.
You can't gaurd against the arbitrary.
No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
Love stinks.
Never try to outstubborn a cat.
What most people commonly call fate is mostly their own stupidities.
All religions issue Bibles against Satan, and say the most injurious
 things against him, but we never hear his side.
Nothing happens to you that hasn't happened to someone else.
Do not remove a fly from your friend's forehead with a hatchet.
It is only the shallow people who do not judge by appearance.
When in doubt, tell the truth.
You never know what is enough until you know what is more than enough.
The more advanced the civilization, the less powerful the individual.
When in doubt, power down.
A system tends to grow in terms of complexity rather than of 
 simplification, until the resulting unreliability is intolerable.
The error-detection and correction capabilites of any system will serve
 as the key to understanding the type of errors which they cannot handle.
Everything you know is wrong.
Always draw your curves, then plot the data.
Appearances often are deceiving.
Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.
Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
Bigamy is having one spouse too many.  Monogamy is the same.
Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
Colorless green odors gravitate furiously.
Create the impression that you have already reached
 your level of incompetence.
Do not count your chickens before they are hatched.
Do not tell big lies.  Small ones can be just as effective.
Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.
Don't ever slam a door, you might want to go back.
If you push something hard enough, it will fall over.
If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
Replace repetitive expressions by calls to a common function.
Sooner or later, the worst possible set of circumstances is bound to occur.
When in doubt, take all the defaults.
Who is John Galt?
The most useful program will be continually improved until it is useless.
California has its faults.
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
Ambition a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Anarchy is better than no government at all.
Of the choice of two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
Computer modelers simulate it first.
Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit.
Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.
Computers are not intelligent.  They only think they are.
Jury -- Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
Mediocrity thrives on standardization.
Reality's the only obstacle to happiness.
The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
TRAPEZOID - A device for catching zoids.
Wasting time is an important part of life.
When in doubt, don't bother.
Computer hackers do it all night long. 
Bureaucracy is the art of making the possible impossible.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority,
 it's time to pause and reflect --- Mark Twain
Good advice usually works best when preceded by a bad scare.
Statistics are no substitute for judgement.
Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous,
 you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides.
It is important for our friends to believe that we are unreservedly
 frank with them, and important to friendship that we are not.
Storms make trees take deeper roots.
He who praises everybody, praises nobody.
Sometimes the fool who rushes in gets the job done.
How can you be in two places at once, when you're nowhere at all?
Old age = you + 20 years.
Sudden prayers make God jump.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac,
A seven day honeymoon makes one weak.
Familiarity breeds.
To every exception there is a rule.
Design flaws travel in groups.
Variables won't; constants aren't.
The cycle will repeat itself.
There's always one more bug.
Winners never quit and quitters never win.
Postmen never die, they just lose their zip.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
If you leave the room, you're elected.
May you live in interesting times.
If nobody uses it, there's a reason.
A man's house is his hassle.
May all your wishes be granted.
Swallow your pride, it is non-fattening.
Dyslexia rules KO.
When in doubt, mumble.
Laughter lubes lifes engine.
A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
Chicken Little only has to be right once.
There are truths which can kill a nation.
Take an astronaut to launch.
External Storage - Wastebasket.
The population is growing.
Every solution breeds new problems.
Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Chicken - the egg's way of making more eggs.
What's worth doing is worth doing for money.
If you wait, it will go away.
If you want your name spelt wrong, die.
If at first you don't succeed, give up.
If you want to cheer up, cheer up someone.
There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
The biggest mistake that you can make
Lose weight - eat stuff you hate.
There's a sucker born every minute.
A rolling stone gathers momentum.
A man's best friend is his dogma.
Respect must be earned, not commanded.
The greatest ability is dependability.
Insomnia isn't anything to lose sleep over.
!retupmoc siht edisni deppart ma I !pleH
Pop up, push down, Byte, Byte, Byte!
Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
You can observe a lot just by watching.
Leakproof seals ... don't.
Draw your salary before spending it.
If it works, Don't fix it.
If it looks tough, it's impossible.
Laetrile is the pits.
Idleness is the holiday of fools.
Experiments should be reproducable,
Programmers get overlaid!
Raise ducks for a quack profit.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
If it looks easy, it's tough...
Friction is a drag.
A father is a banker provided by nature.
Celibacy is NOT hereditary.
Jesus Saves - not on my salary he doesn't.
Behind every successful woman - herself.
Windows Error: 002 No error . . . yet.
The best prophet of the future is the past.
Lawyers work in their briefs.
Have you tried on your smile today?
Can't underestimate the power of fear.
Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
Why does bread always fall butter side down?
She's a bird in a gilded cage.
It's easier to do good then be good.
Mad at your neighbor?  Buy his kid a drum!
The rooster may crow, but the hen delivers.
Reduce your i.o.u. to i.r.s with an i.r.a.
Biology grows on you.
Why stop now, just when I'm hating it?
Always remove the last screw first.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
The more you say, the less people remember.
To be or not to be - Shakespeare
The only rose without thorns is friendship.
A good memory does not equal pale ink.
The real world is a special case.
It won't work.
Drilling for oil is boring.
Unknown: soon to be grunged, somewhere.
The telephone will ring when you are outside
Constipation is the thief of time.
Organization is the enemy of improvisation.
Conversation enriches the understanding,
Wanna do something big?  Pick up a boulder.
Take it from me - he's got the goods.
Without fools there would be no wisdom.
I ain't broke, but I'm badly bent.
How you look depends on where you go.
Arsonists of the world, ignite!
Dyslexics of the world untie !
Anarchy, No rules - OK?
Too busy to laugh?  Then you are too busy.
To be is to do.
To do is to be.
If it is to be, it is up to me.
Expert - anyone from out of town.
That does not compute.
Silence cannot be misquoted.
What's tennis without a racket?
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
When talking nonsense try not to be serious.
Old frogs never die...but they do croak.
Loan someone a sympathetic ear.
If it doesn't work, it's physics.
Success isn't how far you got.
A stitch in time saves nine.
A friend in need is a pain in the ass.
100,000 lemmings can't be wrong.
Blow your mind - smoke gunpowder.
If nobody measures up, check your yardstick.
Don't ask me; I was hired for my looks.
Lord give me patience......But Hurry!
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Love is a matter of chemistry.
Cutting remarks don't cut any ice.
Don't get mad, get even.
When all else fails, read the manual.
The other line moves faster.
Amnesia rules - O
Tell a child he got 1 right, not 99 wrong.
Unwritten laws can not be erased.
Negative slack tends to increase.
Xerox...all they ever do is copy.
All general statements are false.
If it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
Alas poor kiroY, I knew him backwards.
Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.
Don't drink water, fish breed in it.
Things work better if you plug them in.
He who hesitates is last.
Individualists unite!
Happiness is wanting what you have.
Knowledge is knowing that you don't know.
Well done is better then well said.
Happiness is a BIG hard drive!
"I hate quotations."   Ralph Waldo Emerson
"The tide is turning ... the enemy is suffering 
 terrible losses..." - Gen. Geo.A.Custer
'tis an ill wind that blows no minds
...and sometimes a piercer drops by.
10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.
99.87% of the solar system's weight is in the sun.
A bad compromise is better than a good battle.
A bird in the bush can't relieve itself in your hand.
A bird in the hand does it on your wrist.
A clove of garlic a day keeps your best friends away.
A corophagist eats dung.
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind 
 and won't change the subject.
A flashback is a man with his raincoat on backwards.
A great empire, like a great cake, 
 is most easily diminished at the edges.
A hen is an egg's way of making another egg.
A hermit is a deserter from the army of humanity.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
A kiss on the hand might feel very good, 
 but a diamond tiara lasts forever.
A liberal is someone too poor to be a 
 capitalist and too rich to be a communist.
A little coitus never hoitus.
A man forgives only when he is in the wrong.
A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
A man's tie should never be louder than his wife.
A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs.
A Puritan is someone who is afraid that 
 someone somewhere is having fun.
A rumour has it that rumours are just rumours.
A Smith and Weston beats four aces.
A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.
A sword sometimes misses its mark -- a bouquet never.
A thing not worth doing is worth not doing well.
A volcano is a mountain with hiccups.
A winner never quits. A quitter never wins.
A wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
About the only thing on a farm that has an easy time is the dog.
Actors will happen in the best-regulated families.
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
Air hostesses have the lowest divorce rate amoung working women.
Alienation can be fun.
All heiresses are beautiful.
All in all, it's just another brick in the wall ...
All monsters are created evil, but some are more evil than others.
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
All the wild camels in the world live in Australia.
Always attack a floating Eye from behind!
Always be aware of the phase of the moon!
Always do right.  This will gratify 
 some people, and astonish the rest.
An expert is a person who avoids the small 
 errors as he sweeps on to the grand fallacy.
An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
Anticipated events never live up to expectations.
Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to sell it.
Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there.
Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?
As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
Australia: where men are men and sheep are nervous.
Avoid rape, dress sensibly.
Balrogs only appear on the deeper levels.
Batman loves Robin.
Be careful when the moon is in its last quarter.
Be careful when throwing a boomerang - 
 you might hit the back of your head.
Be friends with the wolf, but keep one hand on your ax.
Beauty is skin deep, ugliness goes all the way through.
Become a gynacologist, look up a friend today.
Begin in the beginning and go on 
 till you come to the end; then stop.
Better go home and play with your 
 kids. They are just little monsters!
Better latent than never.
Better living a beggar than buried an emperor.
Better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.
Better turn back than lose your way.
Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.
Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.
Beware of the Jewish Maffia, Kosher Nostra.
Beware of the leopard!
Beware of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.
Blame it on Croesus.  It's all his vault!
Blessed are they that run around in circles, 
 for they shall be known as wheels.
Blessed is he that expects nothing, 
 for he shall not be disappointed.
Break rules OK.
Bring back futility.
British Airways: We take more fares off you.
Bullets don't respect uniforms.
Cancer cures smoking.
Cannibalize legalis.
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
Charity: A thing that begins at home and usually stays there.
Chinese saying: He who speak with 
 forked tongue, not need chopsticks.
Cleanliness is next to godliness.
Close cover before striking.
Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
Come back Godot, all is forgiven.
Common sense is not very common.
Conscience doth make cowards of us all.
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Cookery books outsell sex books in the USA by three to one.
Could acne be the work of a sane God?
Courage is grace under pressure.
Creditors have much better memories than debtors.
Culture is the habit of being 
 pleased with the best and knowing why.
Death before dishonour, drugs before lunch.
Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
Death is the price of evolution.
Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than 
 half of the people are right more than half of the time.
Depression is merely anger without the enthusiasm.
Depressive neurosis is nothing to laugh about.
Discretion is the better part of valor.
Do not merely believe in miracles, rely on them.
Do not take life too seriously: 
 you will never get out of it alive.
Do not underestimate the power of the Force.
Do something big today: lift a boulder.
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
Do you ever get the feeling that the story's too dam real?
Dogs do not eat when the moon is full.
Don't be humble, you're not that great.
Don't comment bad code -- rewrite it.
Don't despair -- your ideal lover is 
 waiting for you around the corner.
Don't eat yellow snow.
Don't force it, use a bigger hammer.
Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out.
Don't hit the keys so hard, it hurts.
Don't make yourself too comfortable.
 You'll be leaving soon.
Don't quit now, we might just as well 
 lock the door and throw away the key.
Don't stop at one bug.
Don't tell a soul you found a secret door, 
 otherwise it isn't secret anymore.
Donald Duck isn't all he's quacked up to be.
Drive defensively - buy a tank.
Drugs are for people who can't handle reality.
Due to lack of interest, today has been cancelled.
Education helps earning capacity.  Ask any college professor.
Eschatology's days are numbered.
Eschew obfuscation.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you're dressed for it.
Euclid was square.
Even an abstract virtue needs an occasional break.
Even dirty old men need love.
Even great wizards turn pale at the 
 mere mention of the name Yog Sothoth.
Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
Ever tried to put a Troll into a large box?
Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
Every creature has within itself 
 the wild, uncontrollable urge to punt.
Every man has a scheme that will not work.
Every nation has the government it deserves.
Every silver lining has a cloud inside it.
Everybody needs a little love sometime.
Everybody ought to have a friend.
Everyone is enthusiastic about your work.
Everything begins with E.
Everything should be built top-down, except the first time.
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
Everything you know is wrong!
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
Fear has big eyes.
Feel the force Luke.
Feudalism: Its your count that votes.
Fidelity: A virtue peculiar to 
 those who are about to be betrayed.
Fight for apathy.
Finagle's Law: The perversity of 
 the universe tends toward a maximum.
Flee at once, all is discovered.
Florists are just petal pushers.
For any remedy there is a misery.
Forgive your enemies and they will return a hundredfold.
Free speech has no limits, for those who can afford the fines.
Friends may come and friends may go, enemies accumulate.
George Orwell was an optimist.
George Washington grew marijuana.
Give me Librium or give me death.
Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
Go directly to jail.  Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
Goat's milk is udder joy.
God does not play dice.
God helps them that help themselves.
God is alive, she just doesn't want to get involved.
God made the integers; all else is the work of Man.
God may be subtle, but She isn't mean.
God must love the common man: They are so common.
Gold is a heavy metal.
Good day for overcoming obstacles.  Try a steeplechase.
Good intentions randomize behavior.
Gossip is the opiate of the depressed.
Hackers do it with bugs.
Hail Eris!  All hail Discordia!
Half Moon tonight.  
 (At least it's better than no Moon at all.)
He who comes latest, is always the greatest.
He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
He who hesitates looses the parking spot.
He who laughs, lasts.
He who lives without folly is less wise than he believes.
He who spends a storm beneath a 
 tree, takes life with a grain of TNT.
Hell is a good place to visit, 
 but you wouldn't want to live there.
Hell is empty and all the devils are here.  [The Tempest]
Heute die welt: Morgens das sonnensystem!
Hire the morally handicapped.
Honi soit la vache qui rit.
How many weeks are there in a light year?
How sharper than a hound's 
 tooth it is to have a thankless serpent.
How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.
How you look depends on where you go.
Hugh Hefner is a virgin.
I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop.
I didn't believe in reincarnation the last time either.
I don't want to be worshipped, I want to be loved.
I like work; it fascinates me; 
 I can sit and watch it for hours.
I smell a maze of twisty little passages all alike.
I was a victim of a series of 
 accidents, as are we all.
I was an athiest until I realised I was God.
I will see it when I believe it.
I wish you humans would leave me alone.
I'm empty and aching and I don't know why.
If a group of N persons implements a COBOL compiler, there 
 will be N-1 passes: Someone in the group has to be the manager.
If a listener nods his head when you are 
 explaining your program, wake him up.
If at first you don't succeed, get new batteries.
If at first you don't succeed, quit; don't be a nut about success.
If everyone was locked up it would be safe on the streets.
If God had wanted you to go around nude, 
 She would have given you bigger hands.
If it doesn't feel good, don't do it.
If its worth doing, its worth doing for money.
If the human brain was simple enough to 
 understand, we'd be so stupid we couldn't.
If ther's anything worse than a woman living 
 alone, it's a woman saying she likes it.
If voting could change things it would be illegal.
If we knew where we were going to fall, 
 we could have put a cushion there.
If you ask how much it is, you can't afford it.
If you can't learn to do it well, 
 learn to enjoy doing it badly.
If you don't know what the program will do,
 you'd better not start writing it.
If you have to ask you're not entilted to know.
If you sleep under the bed you must be a little potty.
If you think before you speak 
 the other guy gets his joke in first.
If you tickle yourself, you can laugh when you please.
If you want a fortune cookie, go to a Chinese restaurant.
If you want to know how old 
 a man is, ask his brother-in-law.
If you're beatiful, admit it.
Ignorance is a lack of knowledge.  
 Stupidity is ignorance with pride.
Ignorance is bliss.
Ignorance is when you don't know 
 anything and somebody finds it out.
In the fight between you and the world, back the world.
In this world, truth can wait; she's used to it.
In unanimity there is cowardice and uncritical thinking.
In wickedness there is a strong strain toward rationality.
Incest - en lek for hele familien.
Inside every large program is a 
 small program struggling to get out.
Integrity has no need for rules.
It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.
It is an offence to slam a car door in Switzerland.
It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
It is better to have loved 
 and lost than just to have lost.
It is easier to change the specification 
 to fit the program than vice versa.
It is easier to fight for one's 
 principles than to live up to them.
It is easier to write an incorrect 
 program than to understand a correct one.
It is easy to get lost on a twisting path.
It is my firm belief that it 
 is a mistake to hold firm beliefs.
It's a poor workman who blames his tools.
It's all in the mind, ya know.
It's better to burn out than to fade away.
It's gotta be rock roll music, 
 If you wanna dance with me...
It's late, you should go home.
It's later than you think.
Its not the men in your life 
 that count, its the life in your men.
Jog - and die healthy.
Kilroy is dead.
King Kong died for your sins.
Kings rule men, wise men rule kings.
Kiwis are the only bird to hunt by smell.
Large cats can be dangerous, 
 a little pussy never hurt anyone.
Lassie kills chickens.
Last guys don't finish nice.
Laugh, and the world ignores you.  
 Crying doesn't help either.
Leda loves swans.
Lesbians - when only the brest will do.
Less is more.
Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Let sleeping dogs lie.
Let the machine do the dirty work.
Let your conscience be your guide.
Let's face it: this time you're not going to win.
Liar: One who tells an unpleasant truth.
Life as we know it doesn't exist.
Life is a hereditary disease.
Life is full of little 
 surprises, and you are one of them.
Life is like a sewer, what you get out of 
 it depends on what you put into it.
Life is like an analogy.
Like winter snow on summer 
 lawn, time past is time gone.
Linda Lovelace's mother went down on the Titanic.
Lisp programmers know the value 
 of everything and the cost of nothing.
Live a clean, healthy life 
 and you will soon die of boredom.
Live within your income, 
 even if you have to borrow to do so.
Loatians measure distance in terms 
 of the time it takes to cook rice.
Long computations that yield 
 zero are probably all for naught.
Long life is in store for you.
Look before you leap.
Look both ways before crossing the steet.
Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
Love conquers all things.
Love is a many-gendered thing.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Love means never having to say you're sorry.
Love thy neighbour - but don't get caught.
Make it right before you make it faster.
Man who falls in blast furnace 
 is certain to feel overwrought.
Man who falls in vat of molten 
 optical glass makes spectacle of self.
Man's horizons are bounded by his vision.
Many are called, few volunteer.
Many pages make a thick book.
Many pages make a tree.
Many receive advice, few profit from it.
Marriage is like a dull meal, 
 with the dessert at the beginning.
Mary Popins shouldn't fly without underware.
Masturbation is sex with someone you love.
Masturbation is the art of coming unscrewed.
Might as well be frank, Monsieur.  It 
 would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca.
Mind your own business, Spock.  
 I'm sick of your half-breed interference.
Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure.
Moderation is a fatal thing.  
 Nothing succeeds like excess.
Modesty is a vastly overrated virtue.
Money can`t buy me love.
Money is the root of all evil.
More than half the men on Corfu are called Spiro.
Morse code rules ... ---
Most fortunes are just as misleading as this one.
Murder is an excellent way of 
 dealing with a hostility problem.
My karma has just run over my dogma.
Never believe what a computer tells you.
Never eat anything larger than your head.
Never insult an alligator 
 until you have crossed the river.
Never kick a sleeping dog.
Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
Never meddle in the affairs of Wizards: 
 it makes them soggy and hard to light.
Never settle with words what you 
 can accomplish with a flame thrower.
Never take advice from a computer.
Never take other peoples advice.
Never try to teach a pig to sing: 
 it wastes your time and annoys the pig.
Never vomit on a door mat.
No amount of genius can 
 overcome a preoccupation with detail.
No arms for the Venus de Milo.
No civilized person ever goes 
 to bed the same day he gets up.
No girdle ever cured a pregnancy.
No one can feel as helpless 
 as the owner of a sick goldfish.
No one ever became a big success 
 through listening to his mother.
No one throws a stone at a barren tree.
No part of this fortune may be 
 reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, ...
No problem is insoluble 
 in all conceivable circumstances.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Nostalgien er ikke som den en gang var.
Nothing astonishes men so 
 much as common sense and plain dealing.
Nothing endures like change.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Nothing will dispel 
 enthusiasm like a small admission fee.
Odipus - ring mor.
Of all forms of caution, 
 caution in love is the most fatal.
Oh, Aunty Em, it's so good to be home!
Oh, what a tangled web we weave 
 when first we practice to conceive.
Old soldiers never die.  Young ones do.
On a hot summer night would you offer your 
 throat to the wolf with the red roses?
Once you understand how to write a program, 
 get someone else to write it.
One in every 2000 babies is born with teeth.
One legged girls are a pushover.
One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true.
One man's constant is another man's variable.
Only those who attempt the absurd achieve the impossible.
Opportunity knocks but once.
Optimization hinders evolution.
Pay attention or you will miss all the best jokes.
People oppose things because they are ignorant of them.
People who hate the light usually hate the truth.
People who take cat naps don't 
 usually sleep in a cat's cradle.
Perry mason bribes judges.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
Phone your mother, maybe she 
 hasn't had any problems lately.
PLEASE ignore previous fortune.
Posh glue sniffers are stuck up.
Power is poison.
Pray to God, but keep rowing to shore.
Promptness is its own reward, if one 
 lives by the clock instead of the sword.
Punishment is a blessing in disguise.
Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust.
Pythagoras can't do the cube.
Quantity is no substitute for 
 quality, but it's the only one we've got.
Que sera sera.
Quentin Crisp is strait.
Question 23: Have you now stopped molesting children?
                 Yes [ ]   No [ ]
Quit work and play for once!
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.
Ravenous Bugblatter Beasts frequently make 
 a delightful meal for visiting Tourists.
Read the fine print.
Reading is thinking with someone 
 else's head instead of one's own.
Reading this fortune confuses you.
Reading Tolkien might help you.
Reality is for people who can't handle drugs.
Recursion is the root of computation 
 since it trades description for time.
Repent today...you might be too busy tomorrow.
Return to sender, address unknown 
 No such number, no such zone...
Rotten wood can not be carved.
Satisfy your cravings.  Contact the nearest drug ring.
Scissors cut paper...
Screw up your courage!  
 You've screwed up everything else.
Sibling rivalry is for children.
Silence those that oppose free speech.
Sin against God is one thing; 
 sinning against man is worse.
Sleep with the rememberance of death, 
 rise with the thought that you will not live long.
Smile!  someone may have a hidden camera.
Smile, it makes the world wonder what you are up to.
Snails can sleep for four years at a time.
Snoopy has fleas.
Snow Day -- stay home.
Some days the bear will eat you, 
 Some days you eat the bear.
Some men are discovered; others are found out.
Someone is enthusiastic about your work.
Someone is unenthusiastic about your work.
Something tells me it's all happening at the zoo...
Sooner will men hold fire in 
 their mouths than keep a secret.
Sorry, no fortune this time. Better luck next time!
Spar energi.  Bli kremert med en venn.
Speed Kills (The Doors)
St Peter's Rome would fit inside the 
 Grotto dei Giganti a cave near Trieste.
St Vincent, patron saint of wine, was a teetotaller.
Stability itself is nothing 
 else than a more sluggish motion.
Standing on head makes smile of frown, 
 but rest of face also upside down.
Start the day with a smile - get it over with.
Stop searching forever: happiness is just next to you.
Stop searching forever: happiness is unattainable.
Sturgeon's Law: Ninety percent of everything is crud.
Success is a journey, not a destination.
Sudden prayers make God jump.
Sweet voiced birds are imprisoned, 
 Owls are not kept in cages.
Sydney Opera House is off-Quay.
Tact is the art of making a 
 point without making an enemy.
Take care of the luxuries and the 
 necessities will take care of themselves.
Tarantulas can live for two and a half years without food.
Taste is the feminine of genius.
That which is not good for the swarm, 
 neither is it good for the bee.
The alchemist dies in pain and frustration -
 while the fool finds treasure in a ruin.
The attacker must vanquish; 
 the defender need only survive.
The Berlin-Bagdad railway was started 
 in 1888 and finished in 1940.
The best prophet of the future is the past.
The cow may be black, but the milk comes out white.
The days of good English has went.
The degree of civilization in a society 
 can be judged by entering its prisons.
The door is the key.
The early worm gets the bird.
The earth shall inherit the meek.
The electric blanket was invented in 1949.
The end justifies the jeans.
The ends justify the means.
The faster the plane, the narrower the seats.
The finest eloquence is that which gets things done.
The Fonz is cool - but Elvis is cold.
The future is his who knows how to wait.
The future isn't what it used to be.  It never was.
The gate is gateless.
The Golden Rule: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
The law of the excluded middle 
 either rules or does not rule OK.
The life that is unexamined is not worth living.
The lion and the calf shall lie down together, 
 but the calf won't get much sleep.
The man who can smile when things go 
 wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
The man who makes no mistakes 
 does not usually make anything.
The Marquis de Sade sure knew how to hurt a guy.
The Mona Lisa was framed.
The more things change, the more they remain the same.
The octopus has three hearts.
The only difference between 
 a rut and a grave is their size.
The only way to amuse some people 
 is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
The plural of spouse is spice.
The postman always rings twice.
The price of greatness is responsibility.
The shortage will be divided among the poor.
The slower you drive, the farther you get.
The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
The sun never set on the British Empire 
 because the British were scared of the dark.
The time is right to make new friends.
The Tree of Learning bears the noblest 
 fruit, but noble fruit tastes bad.
The universe is laughing behind your back.
The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.
There are better information sources than fortune cookies.
There are more old drunkards than old doctors.
There are no gains without pains, 
 but often there are pains without gains.
There are seven million lamp posts in Britain.
There is no proverb that is not true.
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
There is no sin but ignorance.
There never was a good war or a bad peace.
There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold.
There's a place for us, you know the movie song.
There's more to life than meets the mind.
There's no room in the drug world for amateurs.
Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
This fortune intentionally left blank.
This fortune is inoperative.  
 Please try another.
This fortune is intended for 
 the private use of our audience.
This is a good time to punt work.
This is a paid political announcement!
This is not a fortune.
Those of you who think you know 
 everything are annoying to us who do.
Though this be madness, yet there is method in 't.
Thunder bolts and lightning very very frightning, Galelio.
Time and tide wait for no man.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a bannana.
Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.
Time is nature's way of making sure 
 that everything doesn't happen at once.
Timothy Leary is an alcoholic.
To be great is to be misunderstood.
To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.
To know thyself is the ultimate form of aggression.
To teach is to learn.
Today is a good day to 
 bribe a high-ranking public official.
Tolkein is Hobbit forming.
Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas any more!
Troubles are like babies; they only grow by nursing.
Trust in Allah, but tie your camel anyway.
Try not to think of Maud -- 
 it will only make you maudlin.
Try to divide your time 
 evenly to keep others happy.
Try to get paid in advance.
Steady is all right, slow is useless.
Turn the other cheek.
Two men look out through the same bars; 
 one sees mud, and one the stars.
Uneasy lies the head, but only at 
 first.  The lying gets easier.
Unicorns do it for the money.
Variables don't, constants aren't.
Vests are to suits as seat-belts are to cars.
Vote Anarchrist.
Voyeurs Drool, OK.
Walk softly and carry a big stick.
We all know that no one 
 understands anything that isn't funny.
We are all related: the same sun dries our rags.
We are always the same age inside.
We give advice, 
 but we cannot give the wisdom to profit by it.
Whales cannot swim backwards.
What can the tiger catch in the 
 dark recesses of his own lair?
What did morons do before CB was invented?
What do you mean Flash Gordon approaching?
What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
What sin has not been committed in the name of efficiency?
When a monkey examines a mirror no wise man looks out.
When choosing between two evils, 
 always try the one you have never tried before.
When in charge, ponder; 
 when in doubt, mumble; 
 when in trouble, delegate.
When in doubt, lead trump.
When in doubt, worry.
When it gomes to dying for your country,
 its better not to die at all.
When the sheath is broken, you can't hide the sword.
When we write programs that "learn," 
 it turns out that we do and they don't.
When you're in it up to your nose, keep your mouth shut.
When your opponent is down - kick him.
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Who was that masked man?
Why does free love cost so much?
With clothes the new are best, 
 with friends the old are best.
With friends like yours who needs enemas?
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
You are in a maze of twisty 
 little passages, all alike.
You can do more with a kind word and a gun 
 than you can with only a kind word.
You can never do merely one thing.
You can observe a lot by watching.
You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
You cannot trust fortunes.
You don't have to rehearse to be yourself.
You don't know what you've got till its gone.
You feel like someone is pulling your leg.
You fill a much-needed gap.
You have a deep interest in all that is artistic.
You have a tendency to feel 
 you are superior to most computers.
You have an ambitious nature 
 and may make a name for yourself.
You have the right to remain silent.
You never get a hangover from other people's vodka.
You should suffer for your wickedness!
You shoulda toined left at Albequoique!
You will attract cultured 
 and artistic people to your home.
You will be surprised by a loud noise.
You will feel hungry again in another hour.
You will step on the night soil of many countries.
You won't get away this time, Baggins!
You'll never be the man your mother was.
You're never alone with schizophrenia.