* 01
    \c9"Myra, would you be willing to have a test tube baby?"
    \ca"Only if the test tube's at least eight inches long."
* 02
    \cbThings were getting snippy in the lounge at the male escort service when the boss rang for a lad to accompany the wrinkled but lascivious Mrs. Mortimer. The young stud called out, "Make sure she knows I don't do widows!"
* 03
    \ccThe assistant producer eyed the starlet and confided, "There's only one way to escape the sexual advances of the producer."
    \cd"How's that?" She asked.
    \ce"I'll tell you once you've undressed."
* 04
    \cfTwo older women were discussing their male escorts when one finally confided she'd had sex for $75.
    \c9"That's a lot," her friend suggested.
    \ca"Yes, he certainly drove a hard bargain."
* 05
    \cbThey were fucking under the boardwalk, just as the tide was coming in. She had her back against the piling as they reached climax.
    \cc"Ummmmmmmm," she murmured, "I never knew pier pressure could feel so good."
* 06
    \cd"You know they have these underpants now that make your crotch smell like flowers?"
    \ce"Oh, no, not for my girl. I like lobster thermidor," the man replied.
* 07
    \cf"Have you ever noticed that men have a fishy smell?"
    \c9"I don't mind the fishy, so much," said the young girl, adjusting the seam in her stocking. "It's when their shrimpy that I can't stand."
* 08
    \caDid you hear about the confused bride who took her marriage vows by answering the priest, "I did."
* 09
    \cb"Boy, that was some orgy last night. I don't remember who I fucked or how many times."
    \cc"Yeah," his roommate replied. "You got some great head on my shoulder."
* 10
    \cdDid you hear about the homeless man who fell asleep under his newspaper, woke up to find a girl, tearing through the paper to give him a blow job. Now he's telling everybody he got a job through The New York Times.
* 11
    \ceMoses to God:
    \cf"Let me get this straight. The Arabs get all the oil and we get to cut off the ends off our what?"
* 12
    \c9"You've heard of Alcoholics Anonymous, well now there's Sex Addicts Anonymous."
    \ca""No kidding, maybe I'll hang around those meetings and see if anybody wants to have a slip."
* 13
    \cbThey've put sperm in an aerosol and are marketing it as heir spray.
* 14
    \ccThe prostitute went for the job interview and told the personnel department she was between positions. When the man asked what her normal position was, she replied, "Horizontal."
* 15
    \cd"Ah, we were halfway home when I said something that made her mad, so she left in a snit."
    \ce"That didn't look like a snit," his friend replied, "it looked like Bob's BMW."
* 16
    \c9A salesman who's been on the road all week comes home and is too tired for sex. His wife's forlorn, so on Sunday he hops in bed with her.
    \ca"How I've missed you my darling," the wife says as they're fucking, then the neighbor yells, "Can't you at least give it a rest on Sunday, I've been hearing that banging all week long."
* 17
    \cbDid you hear about the Texas oil man who divorced his wife when he found out he didn't have exlusive drilling rights.
* 18
    \ccI knew a guy who was so poor if he had been born a girl he wouldn't have had anything to play with.
* 19
    \cdThe charge was indecent exposure, but on closer examination by the presiding judge, the case was dismissed for lack of evidence.
* 20
    \ceShe'd been teasing him all night, so by the time they got to the hotel room, they were both hot to trot. As they undressed, the tart looked glumly at the man's trousers and said, "And who do you expect to satisfy with that?"
    \cf"Me," he replied.
* 21
    \c9Did you hear about the prostitute who was so eager for work that she solicited a policeman. Her proposition ended with a sentence.
* 22
    \caA wealthy old duffer and his pal are sitting on a bench when their 80-year-old friend, Sal, drives by in his new Cadillac with his arm around a nubile young beauty.
    \cbThe old man gazes at them and sighs, "What do you think my chances are of getting a girl like that?"
    \cc"Where there's a will there's a way," the other man smiled.
* 23
    \cdAs King Arthur and his knights went off searching for the Holy Grail, Queen Guinevere made merry with the members of the royal guard, all the stable grooms and visiting princes. The serving wenches renamed the kingdom, Comealot.
* 24
    \ceDid you hear about the western porn movie called "Once More to the Saddles?" That's where all the good guys are hung.
* 25
    \cfA young woman looking for a job in the movie industry walked into a studio and said, "Hello, I'm a legal secretary."
    \c9The man with the cigar replied, "Does that mean you're over 18?"
* 26
    \caA gay guy walks into a deli, spies a big sausage hanging over the counter and tells the deli man, "I'd like that sausage, please."
    \cbThe deli man says, "Shall I slice it for you?"
    \ccThe gay guy replies, "What do I look like? A piggy bank?"
* 27
    \cd"Hey, Mary Sur, what are you doing back here in the bar. I thought you married that rancher who said he'd love you 'til the cows came home."
    \ce"I did, then the cows came home and now I know the true meaning of cowpoke."
* 28
    \cfIt was a protest and a consciousness raising session for gay women, but all of a sudden things got out of hand and the sit-in turned into a sit-on.
* 29
    \c9The frat brother had just finished screwing the coed when he started to walk out the door.
    \ca"How 'bout a contribution," she purred.
    \cb"What are you a call girl or a college girl?"
    \cc"A business major," she replied.
* 30
    \cdA woman was complaining over the phone that all her husband thought about was sex, sex, sex. The culprit, sitting in the next room called out, "Honey, I haven't thought about sex all day, I've been thinking about you."
* END