============================================================================ Dirty Jokes Database v3.5 README! File by Dotoran ============================================================================ Yes, another perverted file from my twisted mind. First, the Adult Chat P-Files SherriAnn and Andrew, and now my newest bit of vengeance! WHAT IS IT? ~~~~~~~~~~~ A new addition to your logon sequence that lists a different dirty joke for every day of the year, including leap day! HOW DOES IT WORK? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The joke for the day is automatically displayed no matter what. Beyond that, the user has the option of viewing yesterday's, tommorrow's, or any joke, given the month and date. HOW DO I SET IT UP? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1: Move the "DirtyJokes/" directory AND the "Dirty_Jokes" file to PFILES: 2: Add this line to your "systext:sys.welcome" file: {#0pfiles:Dirty_Jokes} ^ Control-Q 3: If you want, add "Dirty_Jokes" directly into your Pfiles List as a Multi Use ARexx Pfile. 4: You might also wish to create a JOKES command to add to your BBSMENU file by adding this line to Menu # 2 (Available Everywhere): JOKES `1- | {#0pfiles:Dirty_Jokes} ^ ^ Access Control-Q Levels 5: Now SAVE your BBSMENU file, then RELOAD it(using RAMIGA-T combo). You should now check the settings of various flags inside the main file... SETTING FLAGS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Near the beginning of the Dirty_Jokes file are some flags that let you setup the file the way you wish it to be run. The flags are described more fully below: F0 - This flag lets you determine which jokes to Skip Over the asking of. Possible values are: 0: Do not skip ANY jokes. Ask about them all. 1: Skip F1 Flag. Do NOT ask about Yesterday's joke. 2: Skip F2 Flag. Do NOT ask about Tommorrow's joke. 3: Skip BOTH F1 & F2 Flags. Display Today's joke, then ask about viewing Specific Jokes. 4: Skip ALL Jokes, including Today's. This skips right to the second Specific Jokes screen. Give the feel of a real Database using this value. F1 - By setting this to a value of 1, the program will ask the user if (s)he wishes to view Yesterday's joke after Todays joke has been displayed. Set it to 0 to skip Yesterday's joke entirely. By setting it to a value of 2, Yesterdays joke will be shown automatically, as if the user was asked and they answered YES. F2 - A value of 1 here will ask the user if (s)he wishes to view Tommorrow's joke, either after Today's, or Yesterday's joke has been displayed(dependent upon the F1 setting) Setting it to 0 skips Tommorrow's request completely. Set it to 2 to have Tommorrow's joke shown automatically, as if the user were asked and they answered YES. F3 - This is a powerful flag, for setting it to a value of 1 will allow the user to view ANY Dirty Joke throughout the entire year, by simply typing the number of the month and day. Set it to a 2 if you wish the user to be automatically asked if they wish to view an alternate joke. F4 - Because I do not allow my new users and unvalidated users to do much on my system, this flag lets you set the LOWEST Access Group that may view/use this file. F5 - Set with a value of "1", and any user that has the SysMaint flag in their account activated will be able to ByPass the F1-F3 restraints, just as the F7 flag does. F6 - Because of the nature and vocabulary used in these jokes, you may wish to restrict this file to persons of a certain age. This value is the YOUNGEST age POSSIBLE for a user to be able to view any of the jokes. Default value is 16 years old. F7 - As a way for SysOp's/Elites to bypass flags F1, F2, and F3, you can set this flag to the LOWEST Access Group that can indeed skip the first 3 flags. In other words, users of this Access Group(or higher) will ALWAYS be asked about Yesterday's, Tommorrow's, and Specific Jokes. F8 - For those who feel sexist, or believe a particular sex could be offended by these jokes, this flag is for you. Set at "M" and only Males can view the jokes, but "F" allows only the females on your bbs to view them. If your rather "normal", like the rest of us, you'll probably want to set it to "B" to allow Both sexes to enjoy the jokes. F9 - Allow viewing of the Leap Day Joke, if the current year is NOT a Leap Year. Set to 0, and a user may only view the Leap Joke during an actual Leap Year, but setting it to 1 will allow the user to view the Leap Joke anytime. NOTE that the Leap Joke will display as Yesterdays joke, Tommorrows joke, or if Feb 29 is entered in the Specific area. Proper precautions were taken with the DATE TEXT if the year isn't a real Leap Year. F10 - Should user birthdays also be included with the other "special" days? A separate file titled "Birthdays" will be created and stored in your "DirtyJokes/" directory if this variable is set to equal a 1 or a 2. The values you can use are: 0: Do NOT use the new Birthdays feature. 1: Scan the user data file for birthdays, but only use the birthday if it is marked as being PUBLIC information. If a user marked their birthday as being PRIVATE INFO, then the birthday will be skipped. 2: Scan the user data files for birthdays and use ALL of them, regardless of whether or not they are marked as being PRIVATE or not. F11 - This variable is used to determine how the birthdays should interact with the other "special" days you have defined in the main file, with two possible settings: 0: A birthday will be saved only if the day it occurs on is NOT also a date one of your "special" days occurs on. 1: If a birthday CAN be used, as set by the F10 variable above, then it WILL be used, regardless of whether or not a holiday(or other special day) happens to reside on the same day. NOTE: If two or more users have the same birthdate(month/day), they will ALL be added to the file, HOWEVER only the last one in the list will be displayed. You may want to look at the "Birthdays" file and delete birthdays you see that have the same date, but this is not neccessary. NOTE: If the "Birthdays" file can NOT be found in your "DirtyJokes/" directory, then your user data file will be rescanned and the "Birthdays" file will be recreated. Once created, the file will run as described above. It is for this reason that I suggest the SysOp be the first person to use this file, as I doubt you'd want one of your USERS to have to wait for the "setup" to finish. To reset the birthdays, simply delete the "Birthdays" file. If you change the value of the F10 or F11 variable AFTER the file has been created, you will need to recreate the file to insure it contains all the appropriate birthdays. The "Birthdays" file follows guidelines 1 and 2 of the "Special Days Format", which follows, but should NOT follow any other guidelines mentioned below. NOTES ON THE SPECIAL DAYS FEATURE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Near the end of the "Dirty_Jokes" file, you will see the information regarding the special days. You can modify this information, so long as you follow the guidelines below: 1: Each entry starts with "d.????", where the ???? is the month and day of your special day, for instance "1225" stands for December the 25th, or Christmas. 2: Following the "d.????" is an equals(=) sign and the name of your special day INSIDE of double quotation marks("). Using double quotes allows you to use the single quote(') where needed. 3: Special consideration should be given to special days that are longer than 38 characters in length. See how this is done using the IF / THEN / ELSE clause, and use whenever you add a day that would be too long when viewed by a 40-column user. The special day created for the 40-col user should be no longer than 38 characters. For a day that has no special day attached to it, the program will select a random "Normal Day" statement. To add or modify this info, follow these guidelines, in addition to numbers 1 thru 3 above: 4: The value stored in "d.1300" is the total number of random "Normal" statements which will follow. 5: Starting with "d.1301" and proceeding upwards by 1 each interval are the random "Normal" statements. 6: By inserting a SPACE before the first character AFTER the first double quote("), you will insure a random statement ALL the time, even if the same day is selected more than one time. Leaving the space out of the statement will select random statements, but will use the SAME statement for the same date when entered twice. 7: The word "return" MUST follow the highest numbered "d.13??". That's all there is to it. The dates given satisfy only the year stated. Add other dates, like your birthday, your BBS's birthday, special BBS Event dates, etc. to the list for a customized look. You can even add mini-ads as random special days, for instance the name and number of a bbs, etc. **** Dates have been UPDATED for 1995 **** THANK YOU'S AND OTHER DUMB STUFF! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thanks for taking time to download this file, and if you see any bugs in this version, please let me know. I've run this version(3.1) for a month, plus ran it under numerous current date scenarios, and was not able to find fault with it, but you never know! - Dotoran ============================================================================ Frontiers BBS (716)/823-9892! ============================================================================