\nuovoarticolo{Daniel J. Barrett}{Top Secret\,---\,announcing the latest Fred
Fish CD!}{%
Daniel J. Barrett \\
Department of Computer Science \\
University of Massachusetts \\
Amherst, MA 01003 \\
USA
}{%
Internet:~barrett@cs.umass.edu
}{english}
{%
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?  In that case, I
definitely overpaid for my carpet.}
{Woody Allen}

%\section*{Top Secret - announcing the latest Fred Fish CD!}

	I'll bet you were surprised to see how many cool \amiga{} CD's that
Fred Fish is distributing these days:  {\it FreshFish, FrozenFish, GoldFish,
OldFish, PrehistoricFish, ShavedFish,} etc.~etc.  Well, I have some {\em amazing
news\/} about Fred's most recent, upcoming CD that will make \amiga{} history!!
Thanks to BLAZEMONGER INCORPORATED's ``Industrial Espionage" Department, the
following top-secret, {\em insider information\/} can now be revealed.  (Sorry,
Fred, but this is just {\em too\/} exciting to keep secret!!)

 	Presenting...

\sez{Fish Styx!}

	What is ``Fish Styx?"  Here's the story.  It's a little known fact
that Fred Fish has an excellent singing voice.  He has one of the finest
bass voices around and has quite a reputation in the highly selective
``computer jingle" industry.  A loyal Amigan even in song, Fred was recently
approached by IBM to do a commercial for their latest Pentium-based machine,
and he turned them down on principle.  Way to go, Fred!

Anyway, Fred's fans have finally persuaded him to release his first
full-length audio CD, ``Fish Styx!"  It features these soon-to-be {\em number one
hits\/}:

\begin{itemize}
\item {\it Oooh, Baby I Love Your Toaster} (with Kiki Stockhammer)

Thrill to Fred and Kiki's soulful rendition of this classic
ballad about love and multimedia.

\item {\it What's The Frequency, Irvin?}

Alternative music at its best!!  This song reveals, for the
first time ever, just how many \CD{}'s {\em really\/} were produced
per week at Commodore's Phillippines plant.

\item {\it Can You Feel The Load Tonight?}

A beautiful, sensitive ballad about network slowdown on
IRC.  From the soundtrack of the little-known Disney movie,
{\em The Linelink King}.

\item {\it Free Ware}

A southern-rockin' love song about the lonely life of
a public domain software author:

\begin{verse}
If I code this tomorrow$\dots$ \\
Will you still remember me? \\
For I must be hacking on, now$\ldots$ \\
'Cause there's too many addresses I've got to see$\ldots$
\end{verse}

This red-hot rocker features a 10-minute-long, scorching
guitar solo played by the famous Dave Haynie!!
(Ex-Commodore engineer, now CEO of Columbia Records.)

\item {\it Born To Run}

 		A complex, yet tender, high-energy tune about how Commodore
 		moved the ¶{Run} command out of the ¶{C:} directory and into the
 		Shell.

\item {\it For Those About To Hack, We Salute You}

 		Hear Fred rock out on this heavy-metal headbanger in honor
 		of demo coders everywhere.

\item {\it Ooooh, I Heard It From the Grapevine}

 		A soulful testament to the problems of buying \amiga{} hardware
 		by mailorder.  The lyrics consist entirely of excuses like,
 		``it's on backorder," ``we shipped it yesterday," and
 		``at the sound of the beep, please leave a message, and a
 		representative will return your call."

\item {\it Eleanor Mehdi}

A 1960's style song with a haunting cello accompaniment.
 		The lyrics say it all:

\begin{verse}
Eleanor Mehdi \\
Picks up her check at the desk where the factory has been$\ldots$ \\
Lives in a dream. \\
Look at her working, \\
Making commercials and adverts that no one will see, \\
Till bankruptcy. \\
All the lonely people, too few \amiga{} hacks. \\
All the lonely people, why do they all buy Macs?
\end{verse}

\end{itemize}

 	Similar to the recent Meeting Pearls and Aminet Share CD's, ``Fish
 Styx" will be distributed as shareware.  If you enjoy the music, you are
 obligated to make a contribution to Fred, either in cash or by singing your
 favorite song to him over the phone.

 	``Fish Styx" is available from \amiga{} dealers and Sam Goody, and is
 available on CD, data cassette, and in MOD format.  Check it out, fin fans!

%\begin{verbatim}
%Copyright 1994 Daniel J. Barrett
%\end{verbatim}


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