Radio 4 young writers competition.


    "Just Confused?"          by Stephen Maughan, late 1994.


Scene - a public school headmasters office. The headmaster is a balding,
well educated man in his late 40's. He is sitting at his desk talking on
the telephone.

Head "Yes....I agree...It is a very serious matter. And I cant see any other
alternative open to us....Yes, he has been warned on numerous occasions....
I worry about his state of mind. I dont think that(there is a loud knock
at the door). No doubt that will be him now...Yes...Ok, I'll let you know."
(he puts the phone down, and sighs before changing his tone of voice into
a quite serious manner) "Come."
  A boy enters, who is about 16 years of age. He has a scruffy appearance,
but he is quite intelligent, and speaks as if he doesint have a care in the
world, which in actual fact is true.

Nick "Hay John, what seems to be the problem?"

Head (firm)"Mr Ricahrds! How many times do I..."

Nick "Only you interupted me from a most enjoyable Mathmatics lesson!"
  Nick laughs....and takes a sit, putting his feet on the headmasters desk.

Head (loses his temper for a moment) "How dare you! Remove your feet this
instant"

Nick smiles. "Ok, Johnny boy" Nick tries to pull his feet off his legs
"Errr, I cant. They're stuck on my legs im afraid"

Head (angry) "Thats it Nicolas, I've had enough...."

Nick "Nick, please."

Head(in a deeply serious and firm voice) "Nicolas...I have ran out of 
patience with you"

Nick removes his feet from the desk "Oh. Is this about what happend in
Biology? Beacuse that wasint my fault. But, I couldint let all thouse mice
die now could I?"

Head "No...no. It's everything. We have tried to be nice to you, without
success, we have tried being firm with you. You act as if you own this
school."

Nick smiles "Do I?"

Head "There really is no alternative, dont you agree?"

Nick "Yeah. ok. Can I go now?"

Head "Dont you feel that you don't really belong in a school like ours?"

Nick gets worried, he allmost shouts out "No! Not at all"

Head "This is very hard for me...As you know, we dont like expelling our
pupils...."

Nick realises for the first time he's being expelled. He becomes worried. He
starts speaking fast.

 "Wha...what do you mean? You cant expell me! Jesus, look, I'll change."

Head realises Nick is at his mercy for the first time ever. "If I honestly
thought you would change, then maybe things would be difficult. But you
wont ever change will you?"

Nick "Shit...sorry...Look, cant you just give me a break, huh? I'll do
anything you say! Come on, huh?"

Head "Not quite the same when theres no-one to impress, are you Nick?"

Nick sighs. "Look, what about my exams?"

Head "I was under the impression that you didint care about exams? Certainlly
you don't seem to care when you DO attend the lessons. Your teachers call
you a constant trouble maker, and prefer it when you DONT go to the lessons.
They say you have no intrest in the subject, and prefer to disrtact other
members of the class who do have a chance at gainning a good grade. Isint
this true?"

NIck (surprised) "Who said that? Geez. It's not JUST me you know?"

Head "Oh but it is. Now I've called your parents, they will be arriving
shortly."

Nick slowly says "Oh shieeep." (telephone rings)

Head "Excuse me for one second.(he picks up the phone)...Richards....Yes...
Right, im on my way now"
  Nick laughs at this remark "What a hero" he says to himself.

Head "Now, dont move. I'll be gone for 2 minutes maxium." (he leaves)

Nick "Gone for a smoke more like....Bloody idiot....Yes, it is my school!"
(laughs to himself) "Oh no...my parents....oh forget it" (he gets up, and
walks around the room. He opens a few drawers, and comes accross a wallet,
he opens it and takes the credit cards and 50 pounds) "American Express
huh? And 50 quid!" (he then notices a pair of car keys from the
desk which he picks up)
"Whats this? Porsche huh? Yeah, that will do me allright." (he puts the keys
in his pocket and leaves, mumberling to himself "This is my school, Johnny
boy"



We next see Nick outside a door, a school classroom. He knocks

Voice "Come in"

Nick opens the door, but does not enter the room. "Hello sir!"

Voice "Yes? Can I help you Nick?"

Nick "Hi everybody! Hay Chris!"
  (laughter from room)
Nick speaks in a over-friendly voice "Christopher. I said Hello. Now, dont
you know it's polite to say..."

Voice "Look, you have interupted my lesson. Is there something you wanted?"

Nick "Yeah. Yeah! (pause) The headmaster wants to see Louise"

Louise "What?"
(voices of "What have you done?", etc. can be heard)

Voice "Ok, settle down...Right, Louise, you better go."

Louise leaves and Nick closes the door

Louise nervouslly asks "Whats going on Nick? I havint done anything?"

Nick gestures Louise to be quiet, and they walk a few steps down the corridor

Nick "Listen, Louise, they've chucked me out!"

Louise "What! I knew you would push it too far one day! For what?"

Nick "For going to their school, apparantlly"

Louise "Oh, im sorry Nick, I really am"

Nick "Yeah, yeah...Look, do you wanna go on an adventure?"

Louise "Oh no! I've had enough of your so called adventures." (pauses) "What
kind of adventure?"

Nick (happily) "I've got a Porsche!"

Louise "What are you going on about?"

Nick "Lets get out of this damn place." (becomes excited)  We'll go wherever
we like, whenever, and we wont have anyone telling us what to do. We wont
have to be home by a certain time, we wont have to worry about anything,
we'll do just what we like. So, what do you say?"

Louise "I say you should grow up!"

Nick is offended. "What do you mean I should grow up!!"

Louise "Look, you have to be realistc, Nick." (there is a pause)

Nick is slighly frustrated.
Nick "Dont tell me what I can and cant do, ok? I thought you were different."

Louise "Anyway, we couldint just leave! What about our exams. Our parents.
Our friends"

Nick "who cares about some crummy exams that dont mean a damn thing"

Louise "I do! And I know you do too"

Nick "I dont! Im not going to be treated like a number. Im an individual you
know?"

Louise laughs "Yeah, sure Nick"

Nick "So...you comming with me then? Im serious you know. Im not comming
back."

Louise "Where are you going?

Nick "I'll go to...go to...go to America!"(becomes excited) " Yeah thats it"

Louise "Look, Nick. I know you're upset about getting expelled and everything
, but dont do anything stuiped"

Nick (sadily) "Oh, dont worry about me. It's obvious you dont anyway."

Louise "of course I care about you!"

Nick "Ok, prove it...Come with me. Look, ok, maybe we cant go to America.
Lets just go away for a few days or something. My parents will send me off
to another school. I just want a few days to be free. Come on...please?"

(pause) Louise "I dont know, Nick. And whats this about a Porsche anyway? 
Richards has a BMW doesint he?"

(pause) Nick "Yeah...it's....it's nothing. Dont worry about it. Im just
fooling around thats all. So you in or not? I've got plenty of money. We'll
get on a train, we can sleep in hotel rooms for a few nights. It'll be
cool. Come on? This is the last time you're see me if they're kicking me
out?"

Louise "I dont know...ohhhh ok. I'll go!"

Nick jumps in the air "Excellent! I knew you would!"

Louise "Not so loud!"

Nick "Ok, lets blow this joint!" 

Louise laughs "only for a few days though? I'll be in enough trouble as it
is. I dont know what I'll say when I come back!"

Nick "Dont worry about it. Say you felt ill and went home or something. I'll
write you a letter before you go back from your parents....Better still,
I'll phone up later on and pretend to be your father saying you're ill!"

Louise "My father!"

(nick does an impression of Louise's father)
Nick "Lou-isee is such a good little girl. She's going to be a housewife to
some rich millianare. Just like her mother!"

(they both laugh)

Louise "Thats just what he thinks as well!"

Nick "Anyway...we have to go. Are you comming?"

Louise "Shouldint we wait untill school is over?"

Nick "No, I'll call up in about an hour saying you felt ill and came home.
Dont worry about it. Let's go."


Part 2 - London, Liverpool Street railway station. Nick jumps off the train
and shouts out
"London!" he notices there is no raection so he shouts "London is so cool!
I love this place"

 A stranger walks by, and says to Nick "Yeah, I love it too. Here, take this"
, and hands Nick some change

Louise laughs.

Nick (shocked) "No! I dont need this!"

Man "Hay, it's ok. I want to help. Really" he walks off

Nick "Isint this just the coolest place?"

Louise (firm) "No way. You can't keep that money!"

Nick "Hay, chill out would you? I'll give it to someone else. Come on, let's
check this place out!"

Louise "I've never been to London before."

Nick "Me too. So, what now?"

Louise "Guess we should find a youth hostel or something."

Nick "A what? No, let's book into a first class hotel. I can afford it. 
Really. My parents just sent me my allowance for the year. Come on lets go"

Louise "Errr, where the hell are we?"

Nick "I have no idea. Let's ask this guy. Errr, excuse me buddy, is there a
hotel around here?"

no reply

Nick "Hay, im talking to you....Jesus, whats his problem?"

Louise "Shouldint we get a taxi or something like that?"

Nick "Yeah...I've allways wanted to do this. HAY TAXI!", he clicks his 
fingers. A taxi drives up. "This is so damn cool"

driver "Where to, gov?"

Nick (proudly) "The best hotel in London."

driver "hahaha, y'what? You dont look like you have enough money for a taxi
, let alone a hotel."

Nick produces 50 pounds "I said, the best hotel in London. Now, step on it."

Driver (freindly) "look sir, most hotels wont let you in dressed like that.
No offence, it's just..."

Louise "Ok, just to take us to any hotel."

Nick (upset) "No. What is wrong with the way I look? Just take us to an
expensive hotel. We'll  smarten up."

Louise "There's nothing wrong with my clothes. It's your clothes that are
the problem, Nick!"

Driver "She's right. Now, how are you for money?"

Nick "Money's no problem."

Driver "First time in London?"

Nick suspescisoly "Yeah. So?"

Driver "Well, I'll take you to Regent street. Get you smartend up."

Nick "There's nothing wrong with my clothes!"

Louise "They're crap, Nick. They wont let you in unless you look smart.
Really, you should have washed your hair as well."

Nick loses his temper for a second "What the....I didint know I was going to
get expelled when I woke up this morning, did I? Oh I give in. Ok, do it
driver!"


Part 3 - Regent street. Nick has just left a clothes shop, he is wearing
an expensive dark suit, a long black coat, a 1930's "gangster" hat, and a
pair of sunglasses.

Louise "You look like....I dont know what you look like!"

Nick "A gangster. I got it all now, the suit, the coat, the 30's hat. James
Cageny. Thats me. See, I even got my coat collar up, and my hat worn in the
same way." (he pretends to prouduce a gun, and speaks with a 1930's New
York accent) "Stick 'em up, wise guy!"

Louise "I didint know you had a damn American express card? I thought you had
to be over 18 to get one?"

Nick "No, no, it's 16. Anyway, like I said it's my allowance for the whole
year. Come on, the driver will be waiting for us."

Louise "It's really cool here isint it?"

Nick "Yeah, look at the people. We'll certainlly come back here. But we gotta
get to a hotel first. That driver said we're right near one. Hay, this is
gonna be so cool!"



part 4 - an expensive hotel room. 

Louise "Hay, they even have MTV! I didint know boring business people watched
MTV?"

Nick (excited) "Check out the beds! See, I told you there were 2 singles!"
 
Louise "Hay, look at the mini-bar? Pitty you don't drink, huh?"

Nick "Wow! They've even got chocolate on the beds? Here, catch!"

Louise "No thanks."

Nick "Why? It looks real expensive!"

Louise "No, im on a diet!"

Nick is surprised. "You what?"

Louise "Im on a diet."

Nick "No. You're joking? Why?"

Louise "Im getting fat!"

Nick "Hahaha. Stuiped more like! Geez, not fat!"

Louise (becoming upset)"I dont want to get fat!"

Nick sighs. "Shit. You're just like everyone else. I allways thought you
were different."

Louise "What are you going on about?"

Nick "Soon you're be drinking slimfast."

Louise "Well, actually..."

Nick "You do don't you! I bet you drink things like 'diet-coke', thinking it
really makes a difference, and you walk around the supermarket and buy the
things with the lowest calories in." does impression of Louise "well, these
biscuits have 200 caliroes in, and they have 170. But you get more in the
200. What should I have?"

Louise (allmost crying) "I dont speak like that. And I don't do that!"

Nick is really getting into Louise not eating the chocolate. He speaks
faster and faster "Not yet maybe. Any you're end up been 40 years old, and
doing bloody aerobics, and going to damn keep fit clubs. With all your sad,
loser friends, you will buy all thouse diet magazines, and write in saying
"I am 1.246 pounds overweight. What should I do?". And, you're get so
boring, and...."

Louise "Ok! I'll eat the damn chocolate!

Nick "No, no. You have to WATCH YOUR WEIGHT, dont you? I'll eat it. Im not
fat, and if I was, I wouldint give a shit."

Louise "Ok! Im not on a diet! Happy?"

pause

Nick "Yeah...sorry."

Louise "Jesus Nick, when are you going to grow up and get a life?"

Nick is deeply offened. He speaks with real anger for the first time.
"Who the fuck are you bitch? Fuck you, ok. FUCK YOU. Who the hell do you
think you are. I do what the fuck I like, ok?"

Louise is quite scared "Jesus Nick, calm down...."

Nick "No...look, do what the fuck you like, ok? You think I give a shit? I
dont. Ok?" he leaves, slamming the door.

Louise shouts out "Nick" but he's gone. She sighs. "Im sorry." she whispers.
We hear her opening the mini-bar fridge and her taking some bottles "this
will do." she says to herself.


END OF PART ONE!

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