Use the Force, Luke, Don't give in to the DOS side.- ObiWan Kenobi Bald spot? No -- solar panel for brain power Planet 98% full. Delete PC-users (Y/Y) ? Life is just one BIG beta test cycle INTEL INSIDE = IDIOT OUTSIDE Blessed be the pessimist for he hath made backups. A single fact can spoil a good argument. If you hear an Onion ring, please answer it! Two most common elements: Hydrogen and Stupidity That's not a bug, it's a Free Enhanced Feature! I am NOT Paranoid! And why are you always watching me?? Only a dead fascist is a good one DESTROY FASCISM ! FUN IS FUN NAZI'S ARE A PLAGUE Format drive UN0: name Universe FFS Pretend to spank me - I'm a pseudo-masochist! Only Amiga makes it possible. OS/2 = Half an Operating System The magic of Windows - turn a 486-50 into a 4MHz XT... 50MHz 486 + Microsoft Windows = 4.77MHz 8088. Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch! I am NOT Paranoid! And why are you always watching me?? 0x2B | ~0x2B -Hamlet Not tonight dear, I have a Modem!!! DANGER! DANGER! Computer store ahead...hide wallet. I understand the answers, the questions throw me. Modesty Becomes You. Try It More Often. Nietzsche is pietzsche, Goethe is murder. He who hesitates is last. A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. A man's best friend is his dogma. Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses. A mouse is an elephant built by the Japanese. Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way! Neutrinos have bad breadth. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. Schizophrenia beats being alone. To err is human, to forgive is against company policy. If you have nothing to do, don't do it here. Life is just one BIG beta test cycle If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice? Your program is sick! Shoot it and put it out of its memory. People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues. GIVE: Support the helpless victims of computer error. Reality is for people who can't face science fiction. Me? FAT? No, just horizontially disproportionate... My wallet's cache is disabled. A day without sunshine is like night. Depart in pieces.... i.e., Split. Computer programmers never die, they just get lost in the processing. Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax. Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives. Chemistry professors never die, they just fail to react. If it works, Don't fix it. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. He who laughs last didn't get the joke. I'm schizophrenic, What are you? "Computer, End program." - Barkley This line is SHAREWARE, send 5$ On a clear disk you can seek forever. Programming Department: Mistakes made while you wait. Microbiology Lab: Staph Only! Entropy isn't what it used to be. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicap zone Read the docs? What a RADICAL concept! When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults. Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? I don't eat snails. I prefer fast food. Microwaves frizz your heir. An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support. Every time I lose weight, It finds me again! Can you do the Picard Maneuver in a Grand Am? Spock, I though you were dead!" "I rebooted, Captain." "...And it's 'WORF', not 'Woof'". * Worf If your feet smell and your nose runs - you're built upside down. Psychiatrists stay on your mind. Things worth having are worth cheating for. Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long. Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first! Small programs are for small minds. Going the speed of light is bad for your age. Heard on Noahs' ark: Sailing is fun, but scrubbing the decks is aardvark. Whatever you say about pornography, sex is here to stray. White dwarf seeks red giant for binary relationship. Polymer physicists are into chains. There's no future in time travel. Darth Vader sleeps with a Teddywookie. Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery. Take an astronaut to launch. Jealousy is all the fun you think they have. Two is company, three is an orgy. Life is not too short, it's just that You are dead for so long. Remember, the paper is always strongest at the perforations. To every rule there is an exception, and vice versa. If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary form. Poverty is the root of all evil. Winning isn't everything, but then losing is nothing. No amount of careful planning will ever replace dumb luck. Astronauts are out to launch. Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot. People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses. Let us remember that ours is a nation of lawyers and order. He who is flogged by fate and laughs the louder is a masochist. How many priests are needed for a Boston Mass? The best things in life are for a fee. Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots. A friend in need is a pest indeed. Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know. If this is timesharing, give me my share right now. Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career. Confucious say too damn much! Reality does not exist - yet. Fire at will... NO WORF! Not Commander Riker! COBOL programs are an exercise in Artificial Inelegance. Computers Unite! You have nothing to lose but your operators. Teamwork is vital! (It gives you someone to blame.) Old frogs never die, But they do croak! Locutous for Pontiac: Excitment is irrelivent. Please Captain, not in front of the Klingons. * Spock The moon may be smaller than Earth, but it's further away. We secretly replaced the dilithium with Folgers Crystals Captain, I sense millions of minds focused on my cleavage. "What is about L'waxana Troi that makes me melt." * Odo Whip me! Beat me! Make me run Windows on an XT! For Sale: Positronic Brain-Found near S.F.-Needs Work "I do not fear computers, I fear the lack of them" - Asimov I've seen the procedure hundreds of times. - Qwark Cardassian Cable : 4 channels? No! We have *5* channels! "I yam Popeye o'de Borg. Preparez ta be askimiligrated." Sects, sects, sects, is that all you monks think about? "Take my Worf--please." -Data KPLA Klingon Radio : All glory, all the time! I'm not broke, I'm `finacially challenged'. The devil is using Windows. Still wanna go to hell ? Windows isn't CrippleWare -- it's "Functionally Challenged". Open WINDOWS and you let BUGS in . . . . And all the Borg left was this darn Macintosh... And all the Borg left was this darn PC Clone... And all the Borg left was this copy of Windows... And all the Borg left was this copy of OS/2... And all the Borg left was this copy of System 7... Scotty! I've fallen and I can't beam up!! Windows NT. Nice Try or Not There? i *DId* rEaD tHE DoCS; ThaT'S WHy I'm conFuSeD! M` ¤`w m`dīm wrks j`sē ``¤­ * <-Tribble # <-Tribble after Borg assimilation. Virus detected, delete Windows? (Y/n). BORG spreadsheet program: Locutus 1-2-3. 640K should be enough for anyone. -Bill Gates Friends don't let friends use Windows. To whom the gods destroy, they first teach Windows... MASOCHIST: Windows SDK programmer with a smile! Feature : BUG with seniority. In an atomic war, all men will be cremated equal. If at first you don't succeed, call it Windows NT. Crime doesn't pay? Does that mean my job is illegal? Speed Kills - Use Windows! If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft. Me, indecisive? I'm not so sure about that. A phaser is the universal communicator. ž Worf Keep the country green, FUCK A FROG The little finger says: "It's time for Rock'n'Roll" Life starts at '030, impotence at '86 Windows is kewl, it's just missin' a panic button The inquisitors are back, this time with Windows NO CARRIER This line was released today