TITLE:ROKDAZONE & MACNO UNDER A SEVERE ATTACK OF LUNATIC(!) PROTAGONISM PALETTE:0223 09bb 09d9 0dd8 Spotlights cutting the dark of the studio, moving over the colourful decoration restlessly, seemingly searching for something. Suddenly rolling, blasting timpanis crash into the silence. As the fanfares set in, the spotlights concentrate on one central point, at which nearly by a miracle the lunatic himself appeared from one second to the other. The light is almost reflected by his teeth shown by his widened smile as the full light is switched on. The audience roars. "It's saturday evening 8.15 p.m. after the commercials. It's the time for... 3 T H E M A R V E L L O U S ( ! ) L U N A T I C S B A L L - S H O W1 " The echo of the words remains in the air for the friction of a second. The cheers hold on, but the themes already is faded out. Simply the appearance on the stage keeps the audience half-mad with ecstasy. The dude widens his "I'm gonna sell ye an insurance, sweetie!"-grin and shouts out: "This, ladies and gentlemen, is the very first issue of THE MARVELLOUS(!) LUNATICS BALL-SHOW and I'll be your host for the next hour. Only interrupted by the commercials, that is." (Laughter from the audience. The applauders seem to be well chosen) "Please let me introduce myself. I'm RokDaZone and for this is called THE MARVELLOUS(!) LUNATICS BALL, you may guess that I'm the lunatic here. Forget about JR, DAME EDNA, BENNY HILL and BILL CLINTON. The GOLDEN GIRLS are bad - I'm their grandpa!" (Rolling laughters now. This audience seems moreover to be paid real well). "As this is my very first time on TV," RokDaZone the marvellous (!) entertainer continues, "I'd like to say something very important and quite ignorable." He steps closer to a camera behind which a small thin guy with long blond hair hides his face by gazing into the lense... "HELLO MUMMY I'M ON TELE!!!" While the obligatory laughters still brand around the charismatic(!) person on stage, the cameraman starts to move and with a zoom on his face the astounded audience recognizes that this is DANA GARVEY better known as GARTH and he shouts out: "Party on, ROK!" The reply is immediate: "Party on, GARTH!" (it seems not only the audience is paid well here) "But we're not here to celebrate my first TV-appearance, we're here to get to know more about somebody, who is the leader of a quite wellknown organisation, that everyone - including the dudes of SCEMOLOGY and 42 - know well and fear quite much. It's the leader of a pseudo-serious triangle of monitor wizards. Lamies and animals, it's the MARVELLOUS(!) LUNATICS BALL so cheer out for... >>> 2M A C N O O F T H E S C E N O L O G Y C O M M I T T E E1 <<<" A new charismatic person appears, this time on a scaffold connected by a small staircase. MACNO is a slim guy of about 1.838 m size and - well - let's say 74.53 kg. Tonight, he is wearing a trendy shabby shirt and trendy squalid pants, looks worse than expected. Brown-coloured eyes dazzle under a dark brown mob of hair. For a second he stays still up there, he casts a shy smile to the camera, he waves nervously his hands and then, slowly and routinised, he walks down the stairs. The crowd cramming the studio still roars. A feverish sea of humanity awaits the poor victim. Lusting for terror. Yes, it seems the full yellowpress of the scene is present: 42 as the official sponsors of course, ROM, UPSTREAM, THE CHARTS, THE EUROCHARTS, the remains of R.A.W., some dudes pretending to be the official successors of STOLEN DATA and somebody unknown cheering continously that all this is ripped off ZINE... "Hello, MACNO. It's quite an honour to have you as guest this evening. Especially after HYDRA/ANDROMEDA and DOPE/SPACEBALLS said they won't have the time to attend." 2"I am really proud and honoured of being here! I am also rather scared because 2it's my first time on television but I have really to say that..... er.... 2that... uh? Erm.... that..." RokDazone, as a skilled show man, interrupts him with a wide and expert smile. "It has been quite silent around ABNORMALIA after the 3.14 release. Does this silence conclude from the fact that you haven't anything more to say?" 2"Well, yes... I mean, No! I mean... I wanted to say that... that... er... 2that Abnormalia is not dead! I still have much to say... I still have to 2surprise and shock the scene... I... I still... I still have much... to say?" "How have you escaped your prison in Paris in which we from the MARVELLOUS(!) LUNATICS BALL trapped you so wittily?" The guest's eyes cast a wicked flash towards RokDaZone. He now seems to win emotion and fear, his voice sounds louder, his manners more decise. 2"Paris? Prison? I do not know what you are talking about. I surely do not 2fear the concurrence of lunatic balls... I mean, the only thing I use to do 2with balls is... to break them! Ahaha." Macno stops to laugh realizing than nobody in the audience has moved a lip. They are really paid well, he thinks, or RokDaZone knows how to handle them all. "The list of what you are going to do might sound impressive, but this is the same with the table of the contents of a multifruit snack package - in fact the main attraction of that snack is sugar. The sugar of ABNORMALIA is and has always been SCENARIUM. Nowadays tendencies show that you are going to boast your scenish ego by only relying on scenish satire - are you such an ignorant slab or have you finally understood that shortstories and poems are too high for you?" 2"You know, beloved RockMeBabe, when I saw the kind of short stories you used to 2trash in Abnormalia I came to the conclusion that nobody could bear them 2anymore. You have probably driven to suicide the few serious readers left. I 2therefore decided it was sager to dedicate myself to more popular topics, the 2sponsors have helped me in this tricky professional decision..." "The star of ABNORMALIA rised fast but stagnation came soon and it seems the decline is not too far. Your magconcept has been severly attacked by people like EL LOCO/TALENT and others. What therefore do you think of... a) The attacks of EL LOCO? 2Professional, direct and effective. I like them. b) 42? 2It would be funnier without your Lunatic Balls. :-> c) UPSTREAM? 2Upstream is Upstream... what is there to think in particular? d) The new D.I.S.C.? 2Er... A blast from the past? e) My tie? 2Ouch... let's say... colorful? "Why we are at it: The scene faces the obligatory battle between UPSTREAM and R.A.W. What do you think about it? Who will - in your opinion finally win? Would UPSTREAM a legitimate nr.one follower if R.A.W. shall be dead afterall?" 2"I have followed carefully the whole MagWars development and still I haven't 2understood who is winning and who is not. Whatever all the words written, the 2debates organized, the interviews made, I somehow have the impression that RAW 2still easily tops every chart. Maybe there has not been a serious war at all, 2so far. Disgusting eh?" "Many mags have died, others just fade away. In case, ABNORMALIA would loose ground more and more, would you quit releasing it or would you push on through? In case you'd stop ABNO, would this mean the end of your scenish career?" 2"Gimme a crystal ball and I will reply you. Hehe." With a surprising theatrical move, RokDaZone grabs from nowhere a round and glossy crystal ball and hands it to Macno. "Here you are", he smiles. 2"Er... uhm... let's see... Well, about the future of Abno and me you asked? 2Err... ugh, the crystal ball seems quite confused today... are you sure it's 2an original one? Ehi, look here! It's made in Singapore! I have my doubts on 2its efficency... sorry I still can't reply to your intriguing question..." 3Advertising break: 342424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242 342424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242 342424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242 342424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242 After all idiots in front of the tele are thinking they have faced a joke and still giggle stupid, the studio is once again on focus it time for the LUNATICS GUN! "Ok, MACNO. Now I'll give you several expressions and you have maximal ten words per phrase to answer. Ok?" 2"Well, not exactly... how does it work?" "Here we go... RAW - 2I mean have I something to say about something else? Latin - 2Oh, I understand... I gotta give a fast comment. Latin you said? Scene - 2Well, the one you have here is nice... lotsa lights... friendly audi... Scenology - 2Err... a Jungle recipe? Scemology - 2Ugh... if you only knew what SCEMO means in italian! Commodore - 2The only company that doesn't like its customers. Urbaniyak/TRSI (ex-Zinkfloid) - 2Urbaniyak??? Wasn't he called Uyanik? Design-fuzz in mags - 2Very important. A mag without design is not a real mag. Mega parties - 2Dangerous assemblies where you can meet sly characters. Scenish-Rumours - 2To create them is an art, to eat them is life. Alcohol - 2I never drink it. Women - 2Nice to see that they exist. My tie - 2A remarkable example of cubist art with traces of surrealism, those 2green, blue, purple, yellow and pink squares build patterns of 2neuromantic atmosphere, perfectly coupled with the yellow background 2and the nicely drawn icecream. All in all a tie with style. The straightened face of MACNO relaxes. The leader of ABNO sits back and takes a deep sip off the glass of beer - his favourite drink. RokDaZone our almighty(!) entertainer, uses the time to do some further wouldbe witty jokes about the audience and again the "PARTY ON, ROK!" from the already heavily boozed GARTH is recognizable. Then RokDaZone turns for the last time to his guest star. "MACNO, our time is almost over, but please tell us. Why the heck do you bore the hole scene with your pseudo-interlectualism (Scenology)? Any neuroses?" 2"If you happen to be 24, to feel a child and to want to grow, you have somehow 2to demostrate that you are older than the average scener... I mean, the 2alternative is to break lunatic balls or to play the SCEMO! Ahaha. Ah? Cheers!" "I'd like to thank you for your appearance in this show, please get your bananas at the garderobe and climb back into your tree!" They both shake hands and grin into the camera, the audience gets off their seats in a last infernalic applaude, the credits run over the screen. The first issue of THE MARVELLOUS(!) LUNATICS BALL-SHOW was a mere success. RokDaZone will be extremely famous and even more rich. It's 21:15 directly before the advertisements. It's time for the kids to go to bed.