TITLE:THE CONSPIRACY OF THE SECONDS - A SCENE SHORT STORY PALETTE:0223 088a 0868 08ba 3 THE CONSPIRACY OF THE SECONDS 3 An alternative 2S3cene 2S3hort 2S3tory 3 Not necessarily a good one 2 By Macno Party hall, the atmosphere of excitement grasps everyone's movements. You can see people running around mindless, sceners walking and discussing, looking for contacts and members, trying to learn how to use X-copy. Computers are singing their chaotic melody of binary visions, hardcore techno sounds scream from huge loud-speakers fighting a very personal war of decibels. In one corner, sitting thoughtfully, a bunch of black hairs & sun glasses observes with a malignant smile the party happenings. A very famous scener is hindered behind the lenses. A mysterious guy, not exactly thin, approaches him. - Hallo. - Salut. - Are the others arrived? - Not yet. - Am I wrong or you haven't changed your hairstyle since the last party, 2Moby1? The long haired Moby removes his glasses, stares at his interlocutor with calm cold eyes and speaks with low deep voice. - You are not wrong, 2Fairfax1. Few seconds die in an embarrassed silence, a third character steps in. German, packer, swapper, 2Mr King1. He greets the mute duo and he looks nervously around. - Hallo. - Hallo. - Salut. - Where are 2Laxity1 and 2Wolfman1? Smiling loud, jumping high, dancing a twist, the multi-talent man jumps into the scene and hugs the surprised trio. He behaves like a leader, he greets and he starts to talk. - Hallo! - Hallo. - Hallo. - Salut. - Here I am, here you are. We are four, we are tough and we are always second. We also miss Wolfman, where is he? - He comes later. - Fuck! Always late this silly dane... Well we can start without him, I hope you all remember our plans... Moby, do you remember your role? - Bien sur. - King, do you know what to do? - Ja. - Nicefax? - Of course Laxity, I know what to do, how to do it, when to do it and most of all how to be happy of the result! - Great, let's go then. The four seconds walk resolutely towards the entrance hall, their faces cold, their will strong, their intentions decisively evil, their plan terrible and painful. A young scener looks surprised at them, he follows them, he asks with a low shy voice if they are really the famous eternal seconds, the ones who never top the charts, condemned to be happy of their secondary position, well aware that something has to be done. - Listen little piece of hat. We are Very Important Sceners you are lame, don't break our elite golden balls! - But I always vote for you in every chart! I am so bored to see always the same names at the top. You are the best! I am a loyal fan! - Uhm... you can be useful then... what's your handle? - 2E-Noz1 of Kraze! - Never heard of you. - No matter! - Follow us. You can be useful. The four VIS and the kraze continue boldly their adventure, they cross tables and seats, sacks and monitors, sleeping bags and sceners bodies, nothing can prevent them from reaching the organizers at the entrance. Human life is a bizarre kid, it likes to play with the unknown, to cheat the known and to make a fool of its physical body. The mission of the four seconds was difficult but not impossible. To cross half party hall and reach the entrance would be difficult for everybody, especially in a party with more visitors than square metres, but it can become impossible if there is a televisor showing a porno movie. In front of the five crusaders, in fact, there gathers an enormous bunch of human meat, looking intently at the fantasious exhibitions of two porno stars in a monitor. There is no passage, a wall of horny sceners is enough to block all the way. - Merde! - How can we bypass all this? - I can't believe that! - Don't they realize that it's just a movie?!? - Nerds! - Idiots! - Frustrated lamers! - Dickless heads! - Wankers! - Ehi look at that! Never seen such tits! Four surprised heads turned slowly towards Fairfax, evidently interested in the porno movie shown behind hundreds of long and wet tongues. - Are you interested in that stuff, Fairfax? Moby with a calm voice which hardly covers irritation. - Well Moby, err... I need them for inspiration... RAW's pictures must have a source after all. - RAW? RAW?? RAAAAAAAAW!!!? A furious being reaches the four seconds and the unknown screaming loud and wearing a curious yellow T-shirt. This T-shirt needs further observations, as it seems one of the most interesting things of this story. It's really yellow, that kind of fluorescent yellow that seems to be able to shine also in the dark, even if it never succeeds. A green writing on the front declares: "Do we need more RAWs?". A pink writing on the back replies: "No, I rather prefer Upstream, it's more journalistic, it has better articles, it's more regular and I am Wolfman". - Wolfman! Son of a broken PC, you are late again! - Err... sorry Laxity but I had to make some military service... - Uhm tell me Wolf... when have you JOINT this military service? - Hihihi. Really good this one! Hehe. - Ok, no matter, it must have been five minutes ago. Well, we are trying to reach the entrance and begin our plan but, as you see... maybe... this bunch of nerds is watching at that porno movie and block all the passage! - Uhm, what about going to the other corridor, after those tables, there doesn't seem to be obstacles there. We can trip there! - Uh! You are right Wolfie! We didn't think about that! Your mind seems rather expanded, after all. The five VIS continue their walk, E-Noz remains to watch the movie wondering it if is real time calculated and discussing with a nearby horny scener the poor quality of the soundtrack. At the entrance our five nasty heroes check the list of the party visitors. With joy and satisfaction they notice that the only Static Bytes members present are 2Estrup1 and 2Playboy1. The plan can take place. Fairfax and Mr King remain at the entrance, ready to intercept every new member of Static Bytes that can eventually appear, their role is difficult and hard, they have to stop every eurocharter letting him believe that he has reached the wrong party. Wolfman, mumbling and trying to recall all the phases of the plan, walks resolutely towards Estrup, he sits at his side. The main responsible of the Eurocharts is putting the last touches to the new issue, he is writing, in other words, the whole mag part and the spandimerda editorial. Wolfman looks interested at the monitor, suggests a pair of good spandimerda sentences, looks hideously at Estrup, smiles widely when he turns toward him, picks a cigarette from his pocket and offers it to the unaware Mr charts. - I didn't know that you used to smoke, Wolfman... Cigarettes I mean. - Well, it's never too late to begin. Estrup lights the cigarette and puffs it. It is going to be the last sensible thing of his day. Wolfman indeed has added SOMETHING to the tobacco. Something that obviously cannot be mentioned but Colorbird can easily imagine. While Estrup is starting his wonderful voyage in the world of canz, Moby approaches Playboy, he is reading the mail section of an erotic paper mag, seemingly not much interested in the developments of the new Eurocharts. - Ehi Playboy, guess what? I saw two nice chicks just out of the party building! - Who? How? Where? Let's go there! Playboy screams excited and immediately rushes outside the party hall. Moby follows him, ready to control him and keep him afar for a while. The plan is working incredibly well, everything is ready for the last steps. Laxity approaches the Amiga where Estrup is supposed to work. Estrup is actually laughing helplessly and discussing about the importance of Scene Press Photographers with Wolfman, his grasp of reality and time is rather feeble. With the editor in these conditions, somebody could even manage to use his computer without the fear of being noticed. Someone could even attempt to perform the filthiest of the scene cheats. Someone could try to change the Eurocharts' top positions. That is what Laxity is doing. Strong of his typing speed and coding abilities Laxity manages to load from Estrup's hard disk the big file containing all the infamous charts rankings. He studies it, he realizes that it's just a text file, he edits it with unrivalled skill and, breathing in relief, he prepares himself to save it. Almost easier than coding Desert Dream. The plan is almost fulfilled, but something gets wrong. Something has always to get wrong in stories, especially in idiot ones, otherwise there could not be a story. Seeing Laxity busy in pseudo coding activities, E-Noz, obviously excited for the porno movie just seen, and miracolously escaped from the wrath and the disgust of a lunatic scenologist, hugs and kisses from behind the polka brother. - What the fucking hell are you doing??!?! - Me? No, nothing! I just wanted to show you all my admiration for you! - Uhm... that's not exactly the most normal way to perform your intentions... - Well, er... I just wanted to say... - Well? - I have loved you since the first time you told me I am a lamer... Laxity stares suspiciously the newcomer. He has never seen him in other parties, but there is something in him that raises his interested. This E-Noz is so tender, nice, juvenile, lovely, tender, nice, tender, juvenile. A well-known feeling starts to raise in the hard heart of the multi talented Laxity. - You are not bad you know... - Do you really think that? - Well, yes, I mean... What do you do in the scene? - I am a friend of a musician! - Really? Me too! - I know! The friendly discussion continues with unnecessary details, Laxity and E-Noz head towards a safe and quiet place, leaving the Eurocharts hack unfinished. The whole plan is collapsing due to Laxity's very personal sense of philanthropy. A file needs just to be saved. Who can perform the difficult operation? Wolfman, realizing that Laxity is gone for another of his personal tours, tries to reach the computer where the secrets of the scene are held. He studies the menus of the Cygnus editor, he says that he has never seen something similar before, he tries with some commands and finally he falls asleep down to the ground, not sure if he has saved the faked charts or formatted Estrup's hard disk. Unexpectedly a new character breaks in. That's what I would call a breath taking surprise. From a dark corner appears a mysterious man dressed in black. His face is half covered by a black scarf, his eyes are flaming red under the sunglasses, he wears a long black coat and a grey hat. On the back of his coat a large blood red writing says: 2"Master of the Scene"1. All in all a rather mimetic dress. He slowly approaches Estrup's computer. Nobody is there, the secrets of the Eurocharts are open to every stranger eye. Unnoticed among three thousands of sceners he quickly puts his fingers on the keyboard. He looks the screen, he smiles surprised, as if some unexpected but welcomed thing has already taken place, and he just saves a file. With calm steps The Master of the Scene leaves the crime place, satisfied of his deed. Playboy comes back to see how Estrup is working, evidently disappointed by the absence of the girls outside ("They must have gone away with someone else", Moby had suggested, raising Playboy's utter desperation and envy). Estrup has finished to talk with Wolfman, who, after a short sleep, is holding a monologue about the essence of journalists' ethic, and has started to assemble the new doomed issue of Static Bytes' only reason to exist. Playboy seems to notice that Estrup behaves in an odd way, exactly like a stoned guy that pretends to be serious. - Is it all okay, Estrup? - Sure. Everything is fine here, the new issue is almost ready. - Uhm... shouldn't we check if it has some bugs? - Bugs? Bugs? Bugs? No way, no bugs. I have checked everything... I think. - Oh... well, better so. Aren't the others arrived yet? - Dunno... Wolfman had told me that Mr King and Fairfax are intercepting them at the entrance... - Really? Why? - Oh, well, he has told me that they wanted to fake the Eurocharts... - Ahaha! Is he still stoned? - As usual. 2Lord Helmet1,2 Facet1,2 Steffen1, 2 Chaos 1and2 Jester1 are no more the Eurocharts toppers. A revolution has taken place, the scene has finally understood, the best mag is obviously Upstream, the best coder (with a remarkable 78% of votes) is Laxity, the best graphician Fairfax, the best musician Moby, the best swapper Mr King. 3Scene-fiction becomes reality. The Eurocharts 27 were published and spread, every scener watched them (without actually realizing that something was changed, since nobody, except the mentioned sceners, reads the charts standings) and everything passed unnoticed for some weeks. To their utter despair our five ex-seconds life didn't change. They were at the top of the Eurocharts and nobody had started to offer them food, money or girls. Few months later, various diskmags were published. Here are their headlines. 2UPSTREAM: 3THE NEW SCENE IS HERE!1 A revolution in the charts has taken place, production and sceners of the past have finally been surpassed by the new forces of the scene! We feature in this issue an interview with all the new charts toppers! They are all surprised of their achievement! 2ROM1: 3WHAT HAS HAPPENED AT THE PARTY 4?1 We have sent one of our reporters to the party 4 where it has been published the most revolutionary issue of the Eurocharts. What has happened? Why RAW has lost seven positions in two months? Are there the Masters of the Scene behind that? Can we trust the Eurocharts? 2THE CHARTS1: 3WE WERE NOT THERE!1 We have not seen anything, we have not done anything, we have nothing to do with the Master of the Scene. 2PROPAGANDA1: 3WHO HAS FRAMED LORD HELMET?1 Why Chaos, Speedy, Facet and Jester have lost their first place in the charts? Just because they haven't done anything for almost a year??? Are charts faked??? 2421: 3DID YOU KNOW THAT... 1 Speedy, Chaos, Facet, Lord Helmet and Jester have lost their top positions in the charts? 2THE JUNGLE1: 3HOW TO REPAIR YOUR BROKEN BIKE!1 Whatever you have always wanted to know about bikes' repairing and nobody had the skill to teach you. 2ABNORMALIA1: 3THE CONSPIRACY OF THE SECONDS1 - The true story.