TITLE:HOW TO MASK GREETINGS AND FOOL READERS ONCE MORE PALETTE:0223 088a 0bb9 08a9 2 INTERNAL NEWS 3 By Macno You have found them in the Alternative news of the passed Scenarium, you still find them in the Alternative news of other mags. You never like them. They are the Internal News, the ones concerning friends and contacts of the main editors, the ones who make laugh only the guys involved and mentioned. In other words, the most limited and boring news you can fear to read. Here they are, then, the internal news for internal matters, a necessary part of every decent trash mag. An alternative and mostly spandimerda way to send out personal greets or just the excuse to spandimerda someone simulating a friendly tone. 2The Ripper1 is still having his military service in the italian army. This new life seems to show various exciting novelties to our worthy collaborator. Women, money, glory, health... well, er.... health... uhm... almost... Cavolo, Ivan, questa l'avevo scritta prima di sentire della rotula... per l'altra aspettiamo Abno 6? Un abbraccio. After six months of ripped beers and leeched disks, 2Chris1 has confided me: 3"Macno, I am really happy that you can go home and prepare a new issue of 3Abnormalia. I am looking forward to receive it but, PLEASE, send it by post, 3it's not necessary to visit me live..."1. 2Vyrzel1 has finally bought a good PC sound card and is currently composing various 16 voices songs. 3"I think that 4 channels were not enough to express my 3talent"1, he confided us, 3 "this new card is really great, it handles up to 16 3channels, it can sample directly all your instruments, it composes melodies for 3you and, most of all, is very fast. Yesterday for example I composed 36 songs 3in just a pair of hours. I think I am going to make a CD"1. After years of hard studies and deep meditations 2Peto1 has finally discovered why finns speak Finnish. 3"Perkele! It's just a matter of language!"1, he declared thoughtfully. He also wondered if his handle could have disagreable meanings in the italian language. After a fervid research he commented: 3 "Well, surely 3better than -Scoreggia-"1. 2Rokdazone1 of Infect, eminent scenologist, editor of RAW, 42 and Abnormalia, founder of Associate of Arts, wizard of The Magic Guild and owner of various odd lunatic balls is always at the center of everybody's attention. In the magazine PlayEd, whose cover boasts an artistic nude of our hero, a question was asked to all the female readers: 3"Is Rokdazone better as musician, writer or body 3builder?"1. The exciting answer on the next issue of PlayEd, the magazine that unveils your favourite mag editors. The sixth day 2Mop1 created ROM and wondered if it was good. The day after he created the scene and asked it an opinion. Voices around suggest that 2Pitagora1 is really a male! (Exaggerated!) 2Parsec1, with a strange vague look, has confirmed the disconcerting truth. 2Tatlin1 has promised a new CLI loaded slideshow! The 52 Tatlin Fans Clubs in Italy are already preparing a big party at the Meazza stadium of Milan to celebrate the event. The presence of Tatlin, though, is not certain. The master does not like mundane occasions. 2Maurizio1, incredibly happy to see a new issue of Abnormalia has declared to various italian press agencies that he is going to send Macno 1000 disks of pure stuff as a prize for the brilliant work. Italian newspapers, of course, have published the interesting news and have taken the opportunity to comment Abnormalia with a political eye. For half of them it is 3"a strong 3anti-governative production that expresses brilliantly the reasons of the 3opposition"1. For the other newspapers (and half of the TV channels) is a3 "clear 3example of the italian economy's rebirth and health"1. Nobody wrote that it's a diskmag. In a private discussion 2Billy the Kid1 told me: 3"You know, Macno, I regret the 3old Grace Italy times, when we made a porno movie for the other members, when I 3used to rule and Abnormalia wasn't born yet. You know, Macno, it's all so dead, 3the scene is dead, everything is dead, I don't receive letters anymore... You 3know, Macno, I don't switch on my computer since June 1993... by the way have 3you made that mag for our new intro?". 2DDT/HBT1 and 2 Phoenix1, ex co-editors of Abnormalia have started to work for professional newspapers. Even if they earn more and work less (possible?) they have both confided me that they miss the good old Abnormalia times, when the mag seemed to grow alone and articles were not strictly necessary. 2Demko, Barabba, Acid, Kitchaka, Lord Kada, Willow1 and 2Flash1 have decided to kick out the only member and WHQ of Skandal, Billy the Kid, and to form the3 New 3Skandal1. Expected the first intro in six months, a new intro, 3Tangentopoli - 3Second Republic1, in a pair of years and a scrolling declaring loudly that they are the best group of the country in a pair of days. 2Hydra, Net Jobber, Metalbasher, Bluelight1 and2 Evelyn1 have somehow to enter in these news. That's why I have decided now that they have founded a new group and they have decided to join it. The name? Sgamillus! 2Gurgle1, Giungle for friends, has changed handle 15 times in a day: Bubble, Giuggerellone, Giobbe, Juggle, Ciumble, Ciuppa, Gufo, Gongo, Stombo, Rurble, Mumble, Dundle, Sumbe, Annabella, Dongle. In the meantime he joined seven different groups and founded five new ones. Guggle is currently looking for a new group. The sysop of the only italian board left, 2Dr.J1, has decided to open a new node in Sicily. Despite the fact that nobody knows how he managed to make a 2 nodes BBS in two different towns, it remains almost a mystery the reason of such decision. 2Posdnuos, MASE1 and2 Rocketeer1, the real responsibles of RamJam's The Charts (don't tell me now that you don't know where to complain now) have been asked by Berlusconi to compile his beloved opinion pools. Even if the president offered them a lot of money and a night with Gullit, they refused. 3"The Charts are more 3important"1, the fools replied, still convinced that they are better than the Eurocharts. 2Virus 1 has infected his own hard disk. When he tried to run an antivirus he wasn't discovered, happy of being free and active he formatted all his data and spreaded himself to all his 74527 dropped contacts. If you receive a letter with a Virus alive inside (70 Kilos crouched on a diskette) don't hesitate to isolate the beast. Purify yourself, stop the Virus infection! The latest news reveal that the Virus menace has been stopped. All the letters he sent where rejected by the post. Humanity is safe. 2Executor1 is going to make the new code of Abnormalia. 2 Deus 1has promised to draw the graphics and 2ACBS1 has assured that he will choose the colors.2 Android1, the only scene musician whose musics have never been used in a scene production, is even supposed to prepare the soundtrack. If Abnormalia gets worse you know who are the responsibles. 2Case1 and2 Filippetto1, the most outrageous and silent members of RamJam, have recently discovered that, even if full of shit, the italian scene doesn't smell that bad. After the success of the first E.T., 2Nimrod1 has decided to write the storyboard for3 "E.T. 42 - Phone home with a fish"1. Nobody actually asked him to write anything, but he seems confident that it is all worth the effort. 3 "If nobody 3really wants my story I can always send it to Abnormalia"1, he has told me evilly,3 "and if you refuse to publish it, I will start a war between 42 and 3Abno!"1, he finished. You have no hope, aliens fucker! 2El Loco1, the first spandimerda in the world who has spandimerded the spandimerda movement (was he stoned?), has recently written a very interesting and funny article. In exclusive for Scenarium here is the COMPLETE text. 3"Did you know that... yesterday it was raining here?". After the success of "Our Little Kitchen", 2Blitter1 has decided to make a special CD book called3 "Bynary Recipes - More than simple hot dogs!"1. He has also announced a DIY section in the next The Jungle. Tips and tricks on how to paint a wall, repair a chair, adjust your radio, connect a new plug, make a wood library, isolate a window, handle water tubes.3 "This is a new marvellous idea 3that will interest every scener out there!"1, he commented boldly. 2Christine De La Queen1, not tired of asking to his contacts if they like games, if they are cool and what do they eat for dinner, has decided to start a new regular section for The Charts entitled 2"Zen and the art of moving chess 2pieces"1. She will discuss about sports, adventures and fashion in a way that can be understood also by sceners. 2Zinkfloid1, the most spandimerded spandimerda ever, has renamed to 2Uyanik1. He explained that he was bored of his old label of first class spandimerda. 3"I wanna change my life, I don't want to spandimerda again all those idiots who 3deserve it."1, he said. 2Colorbird1, who is going to review this issue of Scenarium and to consider it very good, is a LSD freak! We have discovered the sad truth after reading his review of Abnormalia 3.14. Considering what we read about him in Propaganda, 2Lionheart1 should prefer amphetamines, instead, or maybe simply cocaine. 2Wolfman1, simple hash smoker, has assured us that he is going to beat Colorbird also in drug use. 3 "I will be your hero!"1, he screamt loudly without apparent reason and he collapsed to the ground murmuring odd words about heroes in the dust, or dust in the hero. 2Lord Helmet1, who doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't use drugs but does RAW, once again hasn't commented in any way the previous news. 3 "Silence kills every 3enemy"1, he just whispered, checking the clock and wondering if it's the moment to make another RAW. 2Cyclon1 has decided to leave the scene! He said that he couldn't stand the idea of being mentioned in Scenarium. 3"My honour is lost"1, he commented sadly. We have received a fax from 2Saracen1. It said: 3 "Macno, you idiot! I have 3changed my name to Kristian, I am no more Saracen"1. We receive and we publish with our excuses to the person involved. Sorry Saracen, it was just a unforgiveable mistake. To change your handle, I mean. At the last hour, two months before the release date, ROM has told us, faster than faxes, that Kristian has renamed back to Saracen. What can I say, Kristian, you seem a bit confused. In exclusive for you we can reveal the contents of Oepir Risti 3. 2Puh1 confided us that 3"it will boast an enhanced section on scuba diving, with an exciting 3special on planctofagic sea fishes!!!"1. 3 "The scene part?"1, he continued, 3"oh... 3dunno. I presume we will find some news to publish..."1. The Heineken company has been bought by2 Rod1. After the difficult translation, our brave Rod has declared 3"Now that I own Heineken... I can drink all the beer 3I want FREE!"1. Memberlist of Sardonyx: 2Ultrasonic. Memberlist of Obsession: Ultrasonic. Now we know how to become meber of many groups. Found them. After years of fantasy scene, elves and wizards, Magic Guilds and spells, 2Merlyn has decided to change life. He renamed to Terminator and started to practice body building. 2Maxi Swapper, XIII, Prof Vandefrit1 (Alhazred for short)2, Olive, UFO 1(OVNI???!), 2Black Venom1 and2 Zhul1 when, after months of silence, have received this issue of Abnormalia have all declared, at exactly the same moment, 3"Merde, C'est Macno! 3Enfin!" 2House-A-Holic, Ultras Sur, Pearl, Rapper, Vic 1991, Melvin, Hijack1 and2 The 2Trendy Dealer1 have said exactly the same thing, possibly with more irritated tone, in their mother languages. In particular The Trendy Dealer was heard shouting: 3"hazzo, era ora, mi stavo shassando le palle!"1. 2Ben 1has not left the scene, he just doesn't like who doesn't like chip tunes. The last So-What? pearl news. Abnormalia 5 is out! Abnormalia 6 is not out yet, but maybe in the next internal news something might change.