TITLE:THE USUAL SET OF ALTERNATIVE NEWS... REAL ONES ARE FUNNIER PALETTE:0223 088a 08a9 0bb9 3 THE ORIGINAL ALTERNATIVE NEWS 3 (Nothing to be that proud of) 2 By Macno After the polemics about porno movies at parties, leaded by men of high and pure morality as 2Rokdazone/Infect1, the exclusive party group 3The Pornos1 has renamed to 2Moral Clerics1. A spokesman from the group has announced a big campaign of funds collection for the poorest sceners. If you see a stand of the Moral Clerics in a party, don't forget to remember them too. If you have also this copy of Scenarium you can ask for a 10% discount on your donation. 2Lord Helmet1 has finished it, 2Wolfman1 has just started it, 2The Ripper1 too. After months of growth Upstream is losing some points, RAW, after various sofferences, is ready to strike back and The Ripper's mag remains an utopia. What affects so deeply the diskmags world dynamics? 3Military service1, of course. Somebody has started to collect signatures to free editors from military duties. Scenarium strongly supports the inititive. Sign today, don't leave your editors to the hands of the WarLords! 3Alcatraz1 are dead!? Some members have left, others are inactive, nobody has seen their Odyssey 2, the majority just doesn't feel the urge to inform diskmags of what they are doing... is another historic group of the scene going to disappear? On 2Upstream1 and 2Propaganda1 the answer would be YES, it would take at least one article for comments and debates and it would be a perfect example of scene journalism. The readers of 3Grapevine1 still don't know that 2Lemon.1, 2Kefrens1 and 2Alcatraz are dead. After 17 months of non-stop attempts and several head-aches 3Phantom of Applause has discovered the 2password to get into the hidden text of Abnormalia1. In a press conference with journalists and scenologists from the whole planet he declared excited: 2"NO! When it asks if you have the password you have to write 2NO!"1. We haven't tested yet if the answer is right but congratulations are due the same to the brave explorer, who, maybe euphoric for the discovery, has left the scene. In an informal occasion 3Lord Helmet1 has recently confided to a friend: 2"You know what is the difference between RAW and the other mags? RAW talks 2about the scene, the others talk about RAW". 3Rokdazone1 hits the spot again. In a press conference held half a year ago he has screamt: 2"No more racism in the scene! Let's destroy the idiot nazis! People like 2Mistersmith who divulges nazist ideology and Wolfman who lets him talk should 2be compelled to silence! It's a scandal, their anti-democratic opinions cannot 2be allowed in a democratic society! We have to eliminate these nazis from the 2Earth's surface!". Other sceners, tremendously excited for this speech, have warned the community of new nazi propaganda flooding the scene, under many unexpected means. An alternative hyphotesis: 1- More you talk about something, in whatever way, more you publicize it. 2- Rokdazone probably knows well this "information law". A fantasious thesis: -- Does Rokdazone want to divulge the nazist ideology??? After the victory at the Assembly '94 3Dalmak1 has surprisingly left2 Stellar1! Questioned on the weird decision he replied: 2 "I thought that Stellar was an 2intro group, this changement of tasks and programs is unacceptable!". Rumours say that Dalmak has joined 2Stone Arts1. 3Virtual Dreams1 have splitted up! After years of high quality productions that never won compo, all the VD members have decided to join other groups. Some of them are now in 2Sanity1, others in 2Complex1, few in 2Andromeda1, the majority in 2Spaceballs1. They are all working on ray traced animations, hoping that sceners will keep on considering them demos. It all started when 3Fester 1revealed that in those mysterious and esoteric hungarian parties they used to have original compos like 2Beethoven compo (composers have to make a module without listening to how it sounds) and 2Voice 2music compo1 (all instruments of a module must be sampled from the voice of the author). Now the scene is going to be invaded by innovative and terrific competitions. Disquieting things like: - 2Rack compo1; graphicians have to draw a portrait of Rack/Absolute! using a black and white monitor. - 2Filler compo1; editors have to write the most pointless text possible in 15 minutes. - 2Mystery compo1; competitors don't know what they are competing for. - 2So-What? compo1; some swappers discuss about various scene topics, who says the most obvious and conventional thing wins. - 2Compo compo1; competitors have to invent new original competitions. The organizers of 3The Party IV1, whoever they are, have sent us a fax with al the details on the party compos. There will 25 or 26 competitions with "big prizes and lotsa fun". The number is uncertain because they aren't sure if it is the case to make a boring, normal, conventional, standard demo compo. 2"But if we manage to plan one1 (demo compo)2"1, they told us, 2"the MINIMUM lenght 2of a demo must be 4Mb, shorter entries won't be accepted". 3Poko1 and 3 Atya1, the hungarian myths whose drinking abilities are unrivalled in the scene, the trouble duo who never attended a computer meeting in sober conditions, the extravagant couple who once drunk more than half a liter of beer in just three minutes, have joined 2Absolute! 1They will handle public relations, play the mascottes and maybe even write articles for 2Sledge Hammer1. Many have tried before, but 3Iris1 has been the first group to succeed in that. They have the first extraterrestrial section! Some russian astronauts lost in an old orbital space station have joined Iris (who already counts 154 members and 57 divisions). 2 "Their handles are still unknown"1, 3Chris1, Iris WHQ, has told us, 2"but their function is sure: swappers"1. Irritated by the previous news, 3ACBS1, leader of2 Ram Jam1, has decided to let animals of whatever kind join his group. Dogs, cats, zebras but also flies and protozoa can write a letter to Acbs and ask to join. Usually he agrees. 3Gurgle1 has been kicked out of 2Ram Jam1. Envious and jealous of the 3Disc1 comeback, the zombie editors of various mags of the past have promised their rebirth. Sceners from all over Lappland are awaiting the revenge of2 MC disk1,2 ICE1, 2HackMag1, 2Cracker Journal1 and 2The Bad Tongue1. Silence instead remains from the editors of 2Playbyte1. Witty commenters have suggested that they want to break Disc's delay record: 3 years. 2"Compared to such a perfomance, the poor attempts of Eternal and RAW are 2ridiculous"1, claimed one of the editors. 3Dator Skuli1, 3Dator Seta1 and 3Dator Allu1 of Dators of Virtual Dreams of Fairlight have decided to form a sub division of Dators. It's called 2Sub Design1. Voices about Fairlight joining 2Calibra1 as sub division should therefore not be impossible. Our Skuli, Seta and Allu would finally become members of: Sub Design of Dators of Virtual Dreams of Fairlight of Calibra. And if Calibra dies? 3Chris Huelsbeck (musician) joined Isch Crew from Infect. 2"So What?"1, I hear you wondering, 2"do you call this a funny alternative news?" Well, first of all I have never said that Alternative news are supposed to be funny, second this news has been published for 3real1 in the 2IT pack by TRSI1. That is the funny thing. More alternative than the alternative thing.