Children On The Enterprise ---------------------------- by Edwin Yau -------------- Yes, this is probably a very touchy subject for many Trek fans, the most common fear being a "kids-run-rampant-on-the-Enterprise" scenario/sub-plot. Thankfully, this has never surfaced (yet)! There have been arguments for and against kids on the Enterprise-D. When arguing for kids on the Enterprise, the main reason for parents is to, naturally, be with their kids and give them more experience in life. Also, who'd want to be away from their kids for the next 10/15 year voyage? That's a long time to be away - your kid could have become anything from a teenager to a young adult with perhaps kids of his/her own by then! They wouldn't be the same person you left behind. All parents want what's best for their kids. They want to see them grow up, mould them, nurture them, make them successful in life, prepare them for the reality of life, and share their happiness and their pain. The main argument against kids seems to be the danger involved in these voyages. I mean, the kids don't get to choose if they want to go or not - they don't fully appreciate the dangers in space exploration, especially if you live aboard the Enterprise-D! It's mostly a case of the parents saying:- "Come on kids, we're going to move to a new home in space. We're going to live in a starship!" "Wow, mom! Wait until my friends hear about this!" When you consider all the TNG episodes to date, only a few have focused on kids or on family life. (Perhaps this is good, otherwise you might as well watch "The Cosby Show", "Roseanne" or "The Simpsons"). This made me think. What happens to the kids in the majority of episodes? You never get to see them! From the 1st season TNG, I can only remember seeing them in "Encounter At Farpoint", "When The Bough Breaks" and a couple of others. Then they vanish! Here's a simple question. "Just how many times has the Enterprise really been exploring space with relative safety?"... The answer? On average, just a couple of times per season. Can you imagine the terror the kids must be in for most of their childhood? Let's look into a typical 24th century version of a (star) diary of a 13½ year old kid (Adrian Mole?) on the Enterprise-D. Dear Diary... Stardate: 43198.7 ("The Bonding") Today my best friend, Jeremy Aster, lost his mum in an Away Team mission led by that Klingon Chief Of Security, Lt. Worf. I feel real sorry for Jeremy. Stardate: 43205.6 ("Booby Trap") The Enterprise was caught in some sort of booby trap in an asteroid belt, and the ship's energy was being converted into lethal levels of radiation. Luckily we all survived. Stardate: 43349.2 ("The Enemy") Apparently Lieutenant Commander Geordi LaForge was stuck on Galordon Core with a Romulan! This Romulan Warbird crossed over the Neutral Zone and we were nearly attacked! Luckily we all survived, but it's getting a bit dangerous on the ship. Living on a starship isn't all it's cracked up to be. Stardate: 43385.6 ("The Price") A peaceful week at last - there's a conference. Someone's selling a worm-hole. Maybe things are looking up? Stardate: 43462.5 ("The Defector") We met the "Rommys" again. A Romulan defector convinced the Enterprise to enter the Neutral Zone to stop a supposed massing Romulan attack on the Federation. It was a trap and the Enterprise was fired upon by two Romulan Warbirds. Luckily we all survived, but I'm getting really scared. Stardate: 43489.2 ("The Hunted") A trained soldier escaped from a penal colony and ran loose aboard the Enterprise killing the odd "yellow-shirt" security guard. One of them was my dad's best friend. He's feeling really sad and we may be leaving soon. Stardate: 43510.7 ("The High Ground") Dr. Crusher was abduced, and these terrorists killed a load of people on the Enterprise and nearly blew us up. My dad has requested a transfer - he says me and my sister come first and that living here is too dangerous. We're moving to a space station called "Deep Space Nine". How safe do you feel? Would you want your kid to live like that? "Gee, mom, I know you wanted me to live with you and dad, and experience the galaxy, but this is ridiculous!" And that's just for starters! What else is there? Well, there's another showdown with the Romulans and a strange organic being ("Tin Man"), people all around you start to get violent with each other ("Sarek") and to top it all off, the Borg return and start to cut up the Enterprise. The Enterprise hides in a nebula but gets "electrified" out, the Borg cuts up the Enterprise again, take Picard and "Borgify" him, Riker assumes command, separates the saucer section (the bit with the families on) and uses it AS A DECOY. (I'm sure the families appreciated that). They get Picard back, but it looks like all is lost, so Riker orders Wes to RAM THE BORG SHIP! Well, don't bother asking the kids aboard if they want to die to save Earth. I'm sure their parents would agree instantly - "Oh sure, we've got 3 other kids on Alpha Centurai III. It's fine by me". I think you get the general idea and that the 24th century families are having second thoughts! "Come on kids, we're going to move to a new home in space. We're going to live in a starship!" "Wow, mom! That's great news, but if it's all the same to you I'd rather live long enough to puberty."