{7>4}4Home & Away, Revisit:- }3 Home and Awaaaaaaaay, with you eaaach daaaaayy!!! >2 }2 {0 }1 Curtess: It was you wasn't it Jack?!! Jack: No! Honest! I swear it! Curtess: It was, who else would murder an innocent young lad?? Jack: It wasn't me!! Curtess: O.K, smart arse, who else was hanging round here? Jack: Erm, I dunno, but it wasn't me Curtess: Was to! Jack: Was not! Curtess: Was to! Jack: Was not! Curtess: Oh, alright then, I believe you. (faint sound of police siren in the background) Jack: Shit! It's the cops! Curtess: Let's get out of here! (Jack and Curtess TM make a sharp exit) (meanwhile, back in town) Pippa: I hope that kids alright. Michael: Yeah, maybe we were a bit tough on the lad, after all it's not his fault that he's called Kylie. (the phone rings) Michael: I'll get it...... Hello?...... Yes. Pippa: Who is it? Michael: It's sergant Pepper from the local cop shop. Pippa: Why what's happened? Michael: (on the phone) You've found what? Michael: A dead body on the beach?? Pippa: Oh my god. Michael: O.K, we're on our way... (he hangs up) Come on Pipp, we've gotta get to the beach. Pippa: Why what's happened? Michael: I'll tell you on the way luv... (at the beach) Sergeant Pepper: Hi Michael.... can you identify this body? Pippa: Oh my god!! It's the little lad who ran away from home!! Michael: Geez! So it is! How did he die? Sergeat Pepper: It appears that he slept out on the beach! And drowned later when the tide came in. Tut, what kind of people would let a kid sleep on the beach anyway? Pippa: Erm, yes, it's disgusting isn't it. (Over to Alf's store) Alf: Hello young Shane, and what can I get you? Shane: Erm, just the usual please. AlF: O.K, just step into the stock room & I'll be right with you. (Shane & Alf are both in the stock cupboard) Screams can be heard from outside the stock room: AlF:`Ahhh, Up a bit.... Ohhh, that's gud, down a bit ooohh yes. (Marilyn walks into the store) Marilyn: Hello? Mr Alf?!! Coooeeeyy!! Is anybody in here? Alf: Erm, shit, hang on a minute Marilyn! Marilyn: Erm, it's alright I'll be back later... (outside the store, Marilyn bumps into Don Fisher) Marilyn: Hi! Hello Donald Donald: Quack Quack! Marilyn: Eh? Donald: Sorry, I don't quite know what came over me. Marilyn: Oh Donald, you're so funny, Erm, I was wondering Donald: Yes? Marilyn: I was wondering if you could help me with my English assignment? Donald: Erm, yes sure, I hope you've been reading your Oxford dictionary. Marilyn: Ohh, yes of course I have. Donald: Good, O.K, what time then? Marilyn: Six 'O clock at your place? Donald: Yes, yes, err, that would be great. (Back over to Curtess & Jack, where they bump into Shannon) Jack: Hi Shannon! Shannon: Hi Jack!....... hah hah haaah!!! Hijack! That's a good'n! Jack: Right that's it! I've had enuff of the piss take, I'll get even with summer bay, just you see!! (Jack runs off in a paddy) Curtess: Wow! What's up with him Shannon: I don't know, he's been acting kinda weird all day. (Jack runs to his bedroom) Jack: (he says thinking to himself) I'll get even with everyone. Consequently, he pulls out a rather lethal looking gun and a bag of hand grenades from under his bed. Right summer bay, it's even time! (At the diner) Irene: Hey Marilyn, have you heard about Shane and Alf? Marilyn: why what? Irene: Damo reckons that they're having an affair! Ailsa: What did you just say? Irene: Erm, hi Ails, I didn't see you there, I was just erm, err, telling Marilyn that Shane and Alf thought errm, yes that's it, I was telling Marilyn that Shane & Alf were talking about the disgraceful price of bus fares these days. Ails: You wouldn't lie to me would you? Irene: Erm, no of course not...... honestly. Ails: That does it, I'm off over to that store of his to find out what is going on. Irene: Oh, oh! Marilyn: Look what you've done now! Irene: Oh my, it could be the end of Alf & Ailsa's marriage, not to mention Shane and Angels! Marilyn: Oh, dear (she says in hysterics) what are we going to do!! (Marilyn bursts into tears) SOB! When Donald finds out he'll never read War & Peace with me again, (Sob!) Come to think of it, he'll never lend me his dictionary to read again! Waaah!! Jack: (enters the diner) O.K, you guys, put yer hands up!! Marilyn: Jack, whatever are you doing with that gun?!! Jack: Duuuh!! What does it look like? Marilyn: A magnum? Jack: Right!!! That's it, everyone, down on the floor!! Irene: Jack, stop it or I'll call Sergeant Pepper! Jack: You make one move for that phone & I'll shoot! Irene: Right, you little shit, Jack: Shoots Irene (BAAaang!!) Irene: arrrrrghhhh, I'm dead, noo, don't help me Marilyn, I'm dying, going to that lovely ale house in the sky, uuhh. Jack: If anybody else moves I'll shoot them too!.... second thoughts, sod it, I'll just blow the place up... (Jack runs out of the diner and lobs a grenade at it) Boooom!!!! That'll teach them to give me a burger with no relish. Donald: Good heavens!! Jack, what've you done!! Jack: You can sod off as well! BANG!! Bang!! Donald: UHhhh, arghh, I'm dying!! NOOooo, aahh, make sure you do your homework and read War & Peace twice a day, good bye cruel world. Jack: hah haaaah!! Summer Bay, is mine! All mine Sergeant Pepper: Alright Jack, that's enough, put yer hands up! Jack: Shiiit! It's the whole Summer Bay police force! Sergeant Pepper: You're surrounded Jack, give it up! Jack: Never! Sergeant Pepper: O.K, we'll have to do this the hard way, RIGHT LADS, water pistols out...... (the whole police force draw their water pistols) You knooooowwwwww weeeeee belong toooogeeeeeetheeeeerrr Woooooooooooo OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! >4 What will happen to Jack? Will he get soaked? or will he be able to out gun 30 police officers?!! Is Shane & Alf going to get away with their foul deed, or will Ailsa catch them at it? Will Curtess ever buy a pair of trainers from Curtess'? Stay tuned to the thrilling, A.F Home & Away......