NEWS QUOTES                                                                                                     Repairs to the Town Clerk are           by....THE WANDERER                      completed and the Borough Surveyor                                              reported that the fitters would be      The following are all newspaper         assembling the parts this week.         quotes that were actually printed       Cambrian News                           in various papers.                                                                                                      But the Yorkshire men stuck to          His lordship said that the              their gins with great determination     consumption by fire of the mortal       and kept themselves well in the         remains of homo sapiens was not the     game.Huddersfield Weekly Examiner       subjection of goods and materials                                               to a process within section 271 (I)     Completing an impressive cermony,       (C) of the income tax act,1952.The      the Admiral`s lovely daughter           Times                                   smashed a bottle of champagne over                                              her stern as she slid gracefully        Padded bras,Wigs and false              down the slipways.Provincial            eyelashes are to be included under      Magazine                                a Flordia law as goods that `alter                                              the apperance of any package to         Batteries,no deposit;tyres,small        decieve one as to the actual            deposit,six months to repent.           contents`.The People                    Evening News (Bolton)                                                                                                                                                                                                                           old man thought when a mini-skirted     The Judge will have the power to        girl sat next to him on the bus.He      order off any dog that commits a        bit her thigh.And was jailed for        fragrant error.Growerton & District     three days at Belo Horizonte,Brazil.    Annual Show Schedule                    His Comment:"The Pope was right.                                                Mini skirts are dangerous".Weekly       All this is being investigated          paper                                   today by the Scottish Society for                                               the Prevention of Cruelty to            Her soft,lilting Irish vioce            Animals and Glasgow Police.Glasgow      conjured up the misty mountains of      Evening Times                           Mourne and the tumbling waters of                                               the Liffey.Unmarried mother,90,with     Young lady required to work in          an 8 year old daughter.London           accounts office,previous experience     Weekly Advertiser                       not essential bust must be able to                                              type.Provincial Paper                   Fifteen-foot travel trailer.Boat                                                rack built on top and wench for         In an everton attack Royle was          loading.Kern Valley Sun                 injured and lay writing in the                                                  centre of the field.Middlesex Paper     Mr George Dobbs,of Chertsey,is very                                             proud of the fact that he walked 50     IRRESISTIBLE.That is what a 63 year     miles on a sausage sandwich at the                                                                                                                                                                      weekend.Staines and Egham News          Magistrates yersterday after he had                                             admitted stealing 3 bicycles,a          Hammers:Bulk purchase.Suit home         record player,31 records,a national     handymen with claw heads.Advert in      insurance card,and two cases of         Lancashire Evening Post                 false pretences.Portsmouth Evening                                              News                                    Presumably any person on a bicycle                                              who charges into an old lady is         Strangest blaze in a Dorset fire        neither passing or overtaking her       brigade report:A man stubbed his        but merely striking her and would       cigarette out on his plastic false      not be guilty of an offence.Mr          teeth and started a blaze in his        Robin Turton on the Countryside Bill    bedroom.The People                                                                                                      It is with regret we learn of the       Two fish tanks for sale,one fish        sudden death of Donald Everett,of       tank with stand,complete with fish,     Durris,and we wish him an early and     one box of fish knives and forks.       complete return to full health.         Leicester Mercury                       Aberdeen Evening Express                                                                                                While trying to become a                A 17 year old Copnor youth was          stockbroker he developed the            remanded in custody to portsmouth       unfortunate tendency of wanting to      Quarter Sessions by Portsmouth          dress as a woman.News of the World                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      WILSON - Treasured memories of a        NO WATER - SO FIREMEN IMPROVISED.       dear mother and grandma,who passed      Liverpool Daily Post                    away August 3rd,1967.In God`s                                                   garden of heavenly rest,lies one of     The bus came to rest with its front     the dearest,and one of the best.        two feet in the air.Sheffield Star      Jack and Emma and all at Asplin                                                 garage.3,100 or near offer.             KEEPING DRIER IN THE RAIN               Scunthorpe Star                         Mathematical rules have now been                                                devised to allow pedestrians to         In a bitterly cold wind,the queen,      remain as dry as possible when          wearing a warm sage-green tweed         caught in a shower of rain.The          coat with a beaver lamb collar and      calculations were reported in           a green mitre-installation of           Nature yesterday by Mr M.Scott,a        turbo-alternators and boilers.Essex     mathematician at Durham University.     Paper                                   When walking into the rain one                                                  should lower the head and walk as       The committee expressed the view        fast as possible.When the rain is       that the school-crossing patrolman      comming from behind one should          could best assist the children if       either walk forward leaning             he were dead outside the school         backwards,of backwards leaning          entrance.Public Service                 forwards,at a deliberate pace.These                                                                                                                                                                     methods guarantee a moist rather        A fixture that has brought nothing      than wet walk.Sunday Telegraph          but defeat since 1949 was won at                                                last by the shooting of two             The day was slightly marred by a        football league fowards.Daily Mail      hold up caused by a serious                                                     accident and later fine rain with       Said Christine,a librarian:"They        sausages.Hampshire Parish Magazine      were quite polite about it all.The                                              leader of the gang saw that I was       DIAMOND LIL DEAD Claremont,             sacred".Daily Express                   California.Diamond Lil,once famous                                              show-girl who had nine husbands and     Sexi-detached Bungalows and Houses,     diamonds set in her front teeth,        new,3,500.Dalton`s Weekly               died aged 89.Daily Mail                                                                                                 SERVICE HAND.Mon-Fri.10.30-3.30.7       I wish he wouldnt wear his old          pounds to serve waitresses from the     sports jacket - it makes him look a     hot plate.Tel:MIN 9999.Evening          freak,said Mrs Omi,wife of Brighton     Standard                                ex-officer showman who wears a 3                                                inch ivory ring in his nose,5 inch      K---`s Bridal Hire.Brides from 5        daggers in his ears,and is dyed         pounds,with all accessories.Also        blue all over.Daily Express             Bridesmaids any style made to                                                   measure.Leyton and Leytonstone                                                                                                                                                                          Guardian                                A thief went to work in the                                                     changing room at Burtonwood Rugby       A basement flat comprising three        Club.Honey was taken from the           rooms,kitchen,bathroom,outside WC       pockets of five players.Haydock         (at present occupied by owner).         reporter                                House Agens Leaflet                                                                                                     Silk ?Tweed ?Hopsack ?Worsted ?No       WANTED by a reputed electrial firm      matter what your topcoat is made of,    a liverwire sales representative on     this spray will make it really          a salary cum commission basis in        repellent.Advert in Ohio Newspaper      Coimbatore city.Attractive terms                                                offered for the right person having     Roman Catholic morality is not          very good contacts.Apply Box 5231.      opposed to heart transplants as         Indian Express                          long as there is absolute                                                       `certainty of conscience` that the      Enjoy our large airy rooms for          doctor is dead.The Times                small families.Home type food,diets                                             catered for Scandinavian pastry,        THE WANDERER.                           home made muffins,country fresh                                                 eggs.Hospital is the aim here.From                                              a Travel Leaflet