/*************************************************/ /* Fortune Cookie Program V2 */ /* by John Kennedy for Amiga Computing */ /* Written under Lattice C v 5.2 */ /* Compile with lc -L option */ /* NB this program needs to write a teensy-weeny */ /* file on your boot-up disc, so please let it. */ /* (Unless it has been compiled under North C!) */ /*************************************************/ /* Edited to work under NorthC by Steve Hawtin */ /* Indentation changed as well */ #include #include #include #ifdef NORTHC #include struct DateStamp date_now; #endif void main(argc) int argc; { FILE *fp; int number; if (argc!=1) {/* Print a welcome message if a parameter present */ printf("\nCookie V2.1\n"); printf("Written by Aj and Steven Hawtin, 1990.\n"); printf("Run this program early on from your\n"); printf("startup-sequence for a deep and meaningful\n"); printf("piece of advice to start your day with.\n"); printf("Try redirecting it to your Speech device.\n"); exit(0); } #ifdef NORTHC /* Read the datestamp, assumes you have a real time clock and that SetClock load has been done by now */ DateStamp(&date_now); number = date_now.ds_Tick % 50; #else if ((fp=fopen("cookie.file","r+"))==NULL) {/* File does not exist, so create it */ fp=fopen("cookie.file","w+"); number=0; fprintf(fp,"%d",number); fclose(fp); } else {/* File does exist, so get number from it */ fscanf(fp,"%d",&number); number++; if (number==32) number=0; rewind(fp); fprintf(fp,"%d",number); fclose(fp); } #endif printf("\nThought for the day:\n"); switch (number) {case 0:printf("\n\nFortune Cookie\nWritten by Aj in 1990\n\n'There ain't no dark side of the moon.'\n");break; case 1:printf("Meanwhile in Czechoslovakia...");break; case 2:printf("Whoops. Sorry about that, just re-formatted your drive.");break; case 3:printf("Live long and prosper, Earthling.");break; case 4:printf("Remember - it's all just plop.");break; case 5:printf("Don't worry, just blame it on Jeff.");break; case 6:printf("Beware of the flowers.");break; case 7:printf("You're never alone with a stone.");break; case 8:printf("Aren't you glad you don't have an ST.");break; case 9:printf("It could be worse - you could be bald. Oops, sorry Green.");break; case 10:printf("Oh no - I've just put some sugar in my Bovril.");break; case 11:printf("I was born under a wandering star.");break; case 12:printf("It must be a Thursday - I never could get the hang of Thursdays...");break; case 13:printf("Where is the nearest bar that sells Guinness?");break; case 14:printf("That was some party. Now what can I do for you?");break; case 15:printf("Now is this Wednesday or Thursday?");break; case 16:printf("Do not despise the snake because he has no horns, for who may say he will not turn into a dragon?");break; case 17:printf("Old programmers never die, they just branch to a new address.");break; case 18:printf("Hiya handsome? Watcha doin' after work?");break; case 19:printf("Of all the keyboards in all the world, you had to use mine.");break; case 20:printf("Do the Shake-and-Vac and put the freshness back.");break; case 21:printf("Moon Cresta? Moon-cresta? MOONCRESTA?");break; case 22:printf("Smoking is bad for you.");break; case 23:printf("Amiga Computing, the only Amiga magazine worth reading.");break; case 24:printf("Why is Green so stupid?");break; case 25:printf("Is that the phone ringing?");break; case 26:printf("Sorry - can't boot CP/M+ on this system.");break; case 27:printf("Stop biting your nails.");break; case 28:printf("I'm bored - do something interesting.");break; case 29:printf("Ok, Ploppypants - what's the news?");break; case 30:printf("Well I never! I thought I recognised you! What a coincidence!");break; case 31:printf("Uh-oh. Think I have heartburn.");break; #ifdef NORTHC /* Mostly from "Principia Discordia" the only true book */ case 32:printf("I will see it when I believe it.");break; case 33:printf("Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!");break; case 34:printf("Never take other peoples advice.");break; case 35:printf("No girdle ever cured a pregnancy.");break; case 36:printf("The opposite of a great truth is also true.");break; case 37:printf("'tis an ill wind that blows no minds");break; case 38:printf("\"The tide is turning...the enemy is suffering\n"); printf(" terrible losses...\" - Gen.Geo.A.Custer");break; case 39:printf("It is my firm belief that it is a mistake to\n"); printf("hold firm beliefs");break; case 40:printf("\"The State is the kind of organization which,\n"); printf("though it does big things badly, does small\n"); printf("things badly too.\" - J.K.Galbraith");break; case 41:printf("Remember: King Kong died for your sins"); break; case 42:printf("Heute die welt: Morgens das sonnensystem!");break; case 43:printf("Question 23: Have you now stopped molesting\n"); printf(" children. Yes [ ] No [ ]");break; case 44:printf("When in doubt, **** it.\n"); printf("When not in doubt...get in doubt!");break; case 45:printf("Hemlock? I never touch the stuff");break; case 46:printf("Convictions cause convicts");break; case 47:printf("Never write in pencil unless you are on a train\n"); printf("or sick in bed");break; case 48:printf("This is a chain letter...\n"); printf(" next month you will receive 1300 pounds of chains"); break; case 49:printf("Beware! The paranoids are watching you");break; #endif default:; } printf("\n\n"); }