TITLE:THE BOOK THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE by DAN BARRETT PALETTE:0223 099b 09a9 0b99 3Copyright 1992 by Daniel J. Barrett. 3All Rights reserved. 3Reprinted by permission. 3This article may be freely distributed as long as it is distributed in its 3entirety. It may not be included in any pubblication without the written 3permission of the author. 2The BOOK that will CHANGE YOUR LIFE 3Written by Daniel J. Barrett - barrett@cs.umass.edu Summary: buy it buy it buy it buy it buy it buy it buy it buy it buy it Keywords: book, paper, wood biproducts, gerbils AT LAST! THE BOOK THAT EVERYBODY HAS BEEN WAITING FOR!! (And just in time for Christmas, 1992!) [sounds of rocks being thrown] Hello, comp.sys.amiga.advocacy readers! I don't want to sound like a braggart, but this could be the most important posting you have read all year! I want to tell you about a new book. This book is guaranteed to be more influential than The Bible! Longer than "Gone With The Wind!" And easier to read than "Dick and Jane go to the Bathroom!" I know that people are not supposed to post commercial announcements on USENET, but this information is just TOO IMPORTANT to keep to myself! I can't imagine any comp.sys.amiga.advocacy reader living without it!! Why?? Well, wouldn't you LOVE the answers to the following questions? o What is the single best personal computer for all purposes? o Which chip architecture is superior: Intel or Motorola? o How to write a Device-Independent Graphics system in only 6 hours! o Simple political tactics to get Lotus 1-2-3 ported to your favorite computer! o 100 suggestions for cool c.s.a.advocacy subject lines like "Imminent death of the Amiga predicted"! o How to connect multiple TARGA boards to your Amiga! o 10 simple methods to force Irving Gould to retire! o How to win at BLAZEMONGER and lose only 2 limbs! These are just SOME of the questions that are answered in this INCREDIBLE book. What book can possibly offer such lasting and timeless information? The only answer is: UNKNOWN HIDDEN SECRETS OF THE ADVOCACY MASTERS. Yes! UNKNOWN HIDDEN SECRETS OF THE ADVOCACY MASTERS is the only book that can promise to change you from a TIMID, NON-POSTING LOSER into a VIRILE MASS OF DIGITAL TESTOSTERONE with only minor surgical after-effects. IMAGINE how WONDERFUL things will be after you have read UNKNOWN HIDDEN SECRETS OF THE ADVOCACY MASTERS. When some snot-nosed goober dweeb posts a LIE in c.s.a.advocacy, all you need to do is refer to the appropriate page in the book, read the SECRET INFORMATION, and then EFFORTLESSLY DESTROY your opponent with a stream of WORDS OF POWER. NEVER AGAIN will you lose an argument. NEVER AGAIN will you have silicon kicked in your face by the supposed BIG FLAMERS of this newsgroup. NEVER AGAIN will you have a big bank account after you buy this book. NEVER AGAIN will this offer be repeated. NEVER AGAIN will this offer be repeated. UNKNOWN HIDDEN SECRETS OF THE ADVOCACY MASTERS. The list of names on our panel of writers reads like a "Who's Who" of Amiga flamage. Guess who they are? HA! I'll NEVER tell. (But if you really want to know this UNKNOWN HIDDEN SECRET, then BUY THE BOOK and find out how to MAKE me tell you!!) Yes, this book HAS IT ALL! Here are some more examples: ? Want to learn how to win ANY argument in c.s.a.advocacy? [See page 978.] ? Need inside information on the latest Commodore hardware developments? [Look on page 34!] ? Did you hear a rumor that you want to verify or dispel? [Page 77 tells you who knows the truth, and how to contact her.] ? Can't break the copy protection on your favorite game? [See pages 545-602 for a complete table of how to break every game on the market!] ? Is your USENET addiction preventing you from having a normal social life? [Page 188 provides free dance lessons!] ? Can't win at BLAZEMONGER? [See page 3,719 to learn why it's not possible!] Now, when this book hits the stores, it's going to sell for a VERY large amount of money. So... how much would you pay for such a book? $500? $1000? Trade in your computer for it? Well, there's good news! I am extending a SPECIAL OFFER to the readers of comp.sys.amiga.advocacy. Yes, because you are all so dear to my heart, you can own your very own copy of UNKNOWN HIDDEN SECRETS OF THE ADVOCACY MASTERS for a very inexpensive price!! Yes... VERY VERY inexpensive!! "What IS this price?" I hear you cry. Silly mortals. Just like every spine-tingling fact in this book, the true price is an UNKNOWN HIDDEN SECRET. But it is VERY low. Oh, yes. So to take advantage of the SPECIAL OFFER, simply send us the EXACT AMOUNT, plus $78.29 (US) for postage and handling, and UNKNOWN HIDDEN SECRETS OF THE ADVOCACY MASTERS will soon be speeding toward your mailbox. If you accidentally send us the wrong amount of money, don't worry! We will simply keep the money, and tell you to try again. Once you finally send us the correct amount, we will refund all your previously submitted money and return it with the book. If we haven't spent it. Send your money (cash only) to: UNKNOWN HIDDEN SECRETS OF THE ADVOCACY MASTERS 99 Unknown Secret Hidden Lane ________________, _____ _________ What are the blank lines? Well... like the price, the rest of the address is an UNKNOWN HIDDEN SECRET. (It's on page 3!) But we are confident that you'll be able to find us. At least before the Better Business Bureau does.... ps: Believe it or not, there really *is* an "unknown hidden secret" in the above article. The first person to figure it out will receive special recognition in an upcoming BLAZEMONGER INCORPORATED article. Send your guesses via e-mail.