TITLE:THE SCENE GUINNESS PALETTE:0223 099b 09a9 0d99 3 THE SCENE GUINNESS The scene, this funny bunch of assholes we all like so such to be part of, has its own records. Nobody has ever dared to collect them, nobody but us. We can deliver you the scene in its darkest face, stare it at your disgrace. Here are the Scene Guinnesses, if you think to be better, you are wrong. 2Speedy/Parasite1 has the record of the 3highest number of letters received in a 3day: 541. He replied to all of them in 46 minutes (included address on the envelope), he looked all the 125 included disks in two days, he found in 12 of them the latest issue of the eurochart (3 were damaged, he checked them all), in 7 the latest issue of The Charts, in 8 the latest issue of the European Top 20, in 3 the Eiffel charts, 2 were blank and 24 contained a BBS intro. In his 54 reply letters Speedy wrote a total of 512 words (for a remarkable average of 9,48 words per letter (signature exluded). The longest letter had 22 words (Hi friend! Thanks for your cool stuff! About our philosophic discussion: yes, life is great and it isn't made of electricity! Bye!), the shortest 0 (and a bad signature). 3The shortest article1 ever written on a scene diskmagazine has been signed by 2Mud/Majic 121 and appeared on Top Secret 14. The title was "Friendship", the text was "I saw many articles about friendship but none of them had exactly my same idea. Friendship is a cool thing, but there are also real friends. Write me if you have a different opinion". In the same mag there were other 4 articles which ranked in the Top 10 of the shortest articles ever. The total number of articles was 75. The total amount of Kbytes of text was 56. It hasn't been homologated 2Hex/Stack Prod.1's article called "How many members should a group have?" in the same magazine. The reason is that it wasn't considered a real article. The complete text: "10-15". 3The longest article1 ever appeared on a scene magazine is 2Rokdazone/Destiny1's "Complete review of every song ever released in an Amiga scene production + some inedits". He reviewed 1.273.274 published songs and just 123.282 inedit songs (he stated anyway that he was looking for the ones he missed). Every review contained the author's name (strangely enough), the date of composition, the list of instruments, a comment on the musical influences on the song, a personal mark and an introduction about the meaning of the song in the contest of the world scene. The final text was of unknown dimension and due to lack of space in any other mag it was released in a special issue of Grapevine (983 disks). An update of the article is expected for the end of the millenium. 3The most spreaded scene production1 ever is 2Mental Hangover by Scoopex1. It's existimated that 87 amiga users out of 100 have it. 9 of them have it in a double copy. It had been uploaded in EVERY BBS of the world, except Danse Macabre, for unknown reasons (maybe because everybody had thought that it was already uploaded). Among the 87 out of 100 lucky users an average of 3 of them has deleted or lost the disk. Surprisingly enough one of them is Reward/Scoopex, who has seen just once how his graphics looked. 3The most awaited scene production 1 ever is 2Sanity's Broken Promises1. It has already broken the balls of everybody but still there's no sign of it. Maybe it will be released for the end of the year. Whatever year, it just will be released at the end of it. 3The longest demo1 ever made is going to be the latest from 2Dan/Lemon1. It will last seven hours and it will show vectors for 4 hours and a half. 2 hours are dedicated to gfx showing (a total of 119 pictures of Facet, made in three weeks), 29 minutes are for credits and greetings and one minute is used to inform the audience that the routines used for this demo are one year old. 3The smallest intro1 ever is made by 2Melon Dezign1. It just shows a black screen, without any music, gfx or message. The black screen appears for three seconds and then goes away (without fading). The lenght of the crunched intro is 9 bytes. For a long time people have wondered who created such an award winning production, at the end everybody agreeded that the concept was so simple and original that only Seen/Melon Dezign could have thought it. Interrogated about the matter Seen revealed the truth. It was really a Melon Dezign prod. Code by Bannasoft, idea and design by Seen. Title: "Black fantasies". 3The longest scroll-text1 ever written is contained in a 2Parasite1 intro where Speedy and Pearl greet and send messages to all their 421 contacts and to 398 other known guys. The overall lenght of the intro is 143 K, the lenght of the scrolltext is 134 K. The scroll takes 10 hours to be shown entirely. 2Odyssey II1 is going to be the 3biggest demo1 ever. Not happy of his 45 minutes of 5 disks pure boredom, Alcatraz have planned a follow-up. The record is not yet ratified but nobody doubts that the sequel to Odyssey will come in 15 HD disks, it will run on AGA machines only and it will last not less than 3 hours. It will be dedicated to the girl-friends of the authors. The diskmagazine which has received the minor number of articles from readers is 2Abnormalia1. In three issues it has received nothing less (it would have been difficult) than 0 articles. No one of them was published, that's why Macno, Abnormalia's main editor, claims that he makes an hard selection on the articles to publish. 2Dolphin of Stone Arts1, main editor of the diskmag Headline holds a record that can't be broken. He has written ALL the articles of his diskmag's first issue. Interrogated by a whale he has declared that his task is to make the same record every issue. An evil tuna of the Scene Guinness Spandimerda Department wanted to prize him also for being the only reader of his diskmag. The Scene Guinness Divine Final Jury hasn't accepted the provocative proposal. 3The most famous party1 ever is the 2Hurricane1 one. No other party can claim to have gained an equal number of reports and comments on diskmags. The Guinness jury, anyway, hasn't still physically given the award. For unknown, but understandable, reasons there are no traces of any member of Hurricane. Who knows something about what has left of them is invited to send informations to the Scene Guinness Malaysia Department, specially organized for similar cases. The scene member who has managed to drink the biggest amount of alcoholic substances in a party is 2Irata/TRSI1. He succeeded in his attempt at the Semi '93 party in Austria. He also won, in the same occasion the following Scene Guinness awards: - 3Fattest scene member ever1 (he broke the record just thank to the liquid substances swallowed); - 3Best party destroyer ever; - 3Best balls destroyer ever; - 3Coolest howler ever; - 3Most damned guy ever; - 3Coolest party animal ever; - 3Best legend in the dust ever; - 3Asshole of the year. - 3Funniest guy ever. As you see the opinions about Irata are quite controversial. 2Travolta of Spaceballs1 is the only guy in the scene who managed to release three remixes of the same tune in three different scene productions. He probably is going to break his own records, presenting another remix of Condom Corruption, the State of the Art soundtrack, in the next Upstream intro. Someone wonders if he has ever made in his life a different module. 2Virtual Dreams1 have made the 3most powerful gfx crunch routine1 ever. They have managed to include in a single floppy disk the whole digitized "Marathon Man" movie. The compression rate is about 42198:1. The demo's name is 242 2. The previous record, held by the same Virtual Dreams/Fairlight in the demo 242, has been considered a lame powerpacked fake.