TITLE:NEWS FOR EVERY BAD TASTE PALETTE:0223 099b 09a9 0c99 3 THE ULTIMATE AND FIRST ALTERNATIVE NEWS in other words 3 WHATEVER YOU HAVE ALWAYS SUSPECTED ABOUT THE SCENE WHICH NOBODY HAS DARED TO 3 TELL YOU! Funnily enough lately "Fun News" or "Alternative News" have started to appear in some diskmags, like mushrooms are going to appear in Kris/Eternal keyboard. Well, we made them first and if you think that RAW made them before us you were wrong, for the simple fact that WE wrote them for RAW. But this, as usual, could be seen like a joke, as all the other jokes that feed Scenarium... Ever wondered where stops finction and starts reality in this mag? Start to do it now, because there's more truth in these pages than in the Bible. Just read these news, for a powerful evidence. The 11th of August 1993 2Rapper of ISCH crew1 has had his 18th birthday! Contrary to popular belief 2Melon Dezign1's average age is not 12. Proof: Slammer attends university. Funnily enough Slammer has recently left the group. It's the second year that the Assembly demo compo is won by an unknown group. For the next edition 2Nightfall1 could have good hopes. Ignoring thousands of articles stating that there are too many diskmags in the scene 2Stone Arts1 and 2Dual 4mat1 have decided to make each a new diskmag. The results are two poorer clones of RAW and Grapevine. A Scene Analyst has commented that this is not such a bad thing, he has said at our microphones: "Thanks God they weren't an Eternal's bad clone" How to make an award winning demo without fatigue. - Take a camera and follow from behind a guy who walks around without task. - Digitilize the nice walk. - Crunch a bit the pictures and add a pair of graphical effects. - Compose a suitable music. - Assemble it all. For more informations dial 242 and ask for 2Virtual Dreams1. After the success of Interference, 2Chaos/Sanity1 has kicked out from the group Microforce, coder of the demo. Interrogated by the press, the chaotic minded One has declared: "I don't want Sanity's demos to have good DESIGN!". 2Daryl1 joined Tarkus Team. Daryl joined Eremation. Daryl was kicked out of Tarkus Team. Daryl rejoined Eremation to be more sure. Daryl was kicked out of Eremation. Daryl decided to join Melon Dezign. Melon Dezign didn't agree. Daryl joined Anarchy. Anarchy died. Daryl founded a new group called Beppe. Daryl kicked himself out of Beppe. Daryl is currently looking for a group to be kicked out of. Maybe Daryl doesn't exist. Zine is dead... Grapevine is fat... Hack Mag is dust... Stolen Data is injured... MC disk is sleeping... ICE is lost... People begin to understand why 2RAW1 tops the charts. INCREDIBLE! 2Spaceballs1 are NOT dead! Even if Perplex joined them from PMC the group somehow has managed to survive! External commenters have .... commented .... that there are not intelligible reasons for such a attitude. Interrogated by a martian reporter in mission on Earth, 2Wolfman/Balance1, main editor of Upstream, has declared (in a bad english): "I don't envy Lord Helmet! I just would like to have a mag like his own one". At the 2Party III1 - The Final Until The Next One, some new kind of compos will be held. Here is an exclusive, hot, sexy list: - 40 bytes intro compo. - 16.7 Kbytes Gfx compo. - 3 voices music compo. - Best SPANDIMERDA demo compo. - Soccer without feet compo. - 3M disks throwing compo. - Melon Dezign's logo imitation compo. - Spitting compo. - Compo. And of course there will be the usual and wellknown: - Bribe the organizers compo. - Greet the organizers compo. - Buy something at the kiosk compo. - Count for yourself the votes compo. 2Andromeda1 has lately announced the release of Mirror III. It boasts 1659 K of graphics, 198 K of code and a chip tune. If you have missed Mirror II don't desperate, it had 159 K of graphics, 18 K of code and 76 musics. 2Suicid1, the diskmagazine for desperate readers, has annouced a jubilee issue (the fact that they just reached the 6th issue doesn't seem so important). Zinkfloid, lovely main editor of the mag, has decided to celebrate the birthday starting the most spandimerda mag that human man can conceive. 2Kefrens1 and 2Melon Dezign1 have entered in stable cooperation and formed a new group called "Bimbo Arts". Their leaders had found that they could be the only group with internal wars and internal anti-demos. The Silents have asked to 2Ram Jam1 to join them and form the italian division. After musicdisks that make the diskmags, demos that make the message centers, diskmags that make you puke, slideshows that make nothing, charts that make the slideshows and demopacks that make everything, 2Grapevine1 makes the miracle: more disks than good articles. 2Scene Lyrics1 hasn't had the time to come back with its 4th issue that it's already dead. Wild Rage, main editor of the mag, has declared to the millions of readers that it was impossible to mantain the incredible quality of his mag. The frog's picture in 2Upstream1 6's intro features a new effect in the scene: The Badly Coded Interlace Which Seems Made On Purpose. After having discovered that no more than 57 guys have seen the diskmag 2Abnormalia1, the editors of the unlucky mag for unlucky readers have started to wonder if the 24 Official Spreaders have actually ever done their work. The previous news, due to "the necessity of having good relations with the Spreaders" have been censured by Abnormalia's PR department, whose powers influence Scenarium's freedom of speech. Therefore those news have never been written and you have never read them, especially if you are an HOS (Holy Official Spreader). Abnormalia's HOS syndicate has decided to go on strike. The Spreaders claim more money for their service and bigger credits. Macno, main editor of the Very Unlucky Mag For Desperate Readers, has accepted all their requests. Kill the crisis, join the HOS forces! Blackmail Macno with every kind of request, he is ready to send you his sister or his brother, he has dogs, cats, rats, everything for every kind of sexual taste and perversion. "2Sledgehammer1's news are false!", has confided us a quite entrusted informer (Mud/Majic12).