TITLE:FULL DOSSIER ON THE CAMPAIGN AGAINST BRAISTORM PALETTE:0223 099b 09a9 0c99 3 THE SPANDIMERDA TREND AGAINST BRAINSTORM Nowadays the favourite targets for every good spandimerda are surely Brainstorm. We can call them the marthyrs of the moment, for the fact that one hell of people seem to find interesting to spread some shit on them. As it often happens in similar situations, we are already noticing articles DEFENDING Brainstorm from the massive spandimerding. The ground is therefore ready for another Mantronix and Tip alike scene-novela, with articles, comments, opinions, points of view and so on. All meat to put on diskmags' bones ready to be eaten and digested by blind readers. In the future months the whole discussion will live on rancid articles stating things already stated 15242 times and gradually, slowly, the interest for the matter will decrease and new exciting scene articles will be written about other things. Let's see anyway how this spandimerda campaign is started and how, before, we could already see the signs of the following storm. 3ZINE issue 11 News: "Patsy left Brainstorm and also the whole amiga scene. She became too inactive and when it was time to finish once more a ZINE issue she refused the job. She also quit her relationship with Axel/Brs. But anyway we wish her good luck for the rest of her life..." 2(It's a shock for half the scene, desperately in love with the tender girl of 2Zine, famous for her reply to a Playboy/Static Bytes' "horny and pervert" 2article (just statistics, according to him)) "Zine 12 comes out in January" 2(1992, It never happened but there are still, false, voices, that there'll be a 2come-back) 3RAW issue 1 News: "Brainstorm asked Andromeda to join but Andromeda said "NO WAY" Article BRAINSTORM SEARCHS FOR FAME by Unknown: "It looks like Brainstorm is quite desperate to get new productive members into their group. I ask myself: WHY? Is it because they want to be more famous? Or is it other purposes? ... So what is the aim of Brainstorm? To get ranked as high as possible on the Eurocharts? I begin to wonder if it was that which was the aim when Zine got started! ... So when Zine are saying that groups should not start a diskmag because of fame they have already did that themselves! I call it double dealing!" 2(This was RAW at its birth, its good spandimerda capabilities were already 2noticeable. The article ends with this note from Lord Helmet: "We got this 2article just some days before deadline, so we could not ask to Brainstorm to 2look through it...". It could be interesting to know WHO actually wrote the 2article. Somebody could say that it was written by Lord Helmet himself to start 2his campaign against the top mag of those times (and to start his own climbing 2on the charts). But we could never believe such a vicious lie, could we???) 3RAW issue 2 News: "Buddha/Spreadpoint and Rob Rose/Brainstorm are going to the same university. Can that be the reason why Rob Rose was so quick to copy the texture mapping idea used in Cube-o-matic? RAW thinks so!" 2(Very clever example of lateral and stylish spandimerding: slimy and subtle in 2the right way but quite direct the same) Statements: "CyberPirate on ICE: "What do we have to do in order to beat Zine?", RAW's comment: "It's look like the ONLY motivation for ICE at the moment is to beat ZINE"" 2(We wonder what was RAW's one...) 3RAW issue 3 Article "Zine: What will happen?": In a short interview with Chester Lord Helmet asks infos about Zine's future. Chester says: "We will not release the next Zine before we are sure that it's brilliant, fabulous, enormous, fantastic, great and absolutely stunning." Lord Helmet finishes the articles writing "Come on Brainstorm. Keep releasing Zine. We need your competition to improve even further!" 2(Just notice the first sign of Chester's arrogant speech which will enrage the 2whole scene in later declarations. What to say about LH's comment? Was it 2sincere or was it tremendously hypocrite?) The News about Brainstorm are surprisingly numerous and full of informations about future productions. It's also related that "Rob Rose was finished with his texture mapping before Buddha, but wouldn't release a demo with only one routine (but Buddha did!)." 2(No comments about the grammar) 2(Well, it seems that in RAW 3 the spirits towards Zine are calm and cooperative, 2even one of the musics of the mag was made by Axel/BRS. It's just the calmness 2before the storm of...) 3RAW issue 4 Article "Patsy never existed!", by an anonymous called Lord Helmet: "Patsy was invented to give Zine even more popularity. ALL YOU SCENE MEMBERS ARE FOOLED BY THE ZINE STAFF! Do you like being fooled?". 2(We have already had the occasion to comment this fact and this article (LH won 2a Spandimerda award also for that). It's a direct and powerful blow but the 2rest is made by the same Zine editors...) Article "Zine - The truth". It's an interview with Chester and Orlando. "All the diskmags at the moment probably wouldn't exist without Zine" ... "The only difference is that we really had new ideas and that we didn't copy already existing mags. Look at all the mags around these days, they are more or less cheap copies of Zine!" ... "Nowadays diskmags aren't something to look for. With Zine 11 the disk-mag-idea reached its climax" ... "The Zine magazine is without doubts DEAD!" ... "Zine had: The best articles, news, design, code, ideas, interviews (for the music they consider Stolen Data better...)" ... "We're not arrogant and neither self-centred, but if you take a look at the other mags and compare it with Zine, you must recognize that our opinion is a reflection of reality." ... "There is no fresh air in the stinking room (the disk-mag scene). Trying to repeat Zine is nothing to look out for" ... "RAW is like almost all mags a copy of Zine, without reaching its quality". 2(The interview has many other interesting parts and you already know what it has 2provoked in the scene public opinion. Just some notes about it. Chester and 2Orlando said what they thought, they tried to be also provocative (and they 2succeeded) and they wanted to establish the Zine superiority. They were right, 2for something, and they were blind for something else. To be blind of our own 2work is something very common in the scene, everyone thinks to be or do 2something special. Orlando and Chester didn't make anything worse than many 2other spandimerda scene declarations. The problem is that everybody took them 2seriously and, especially diskmag editors, felt offended. The rage of the 2following articles, therefore, is something that Orlando and Chester expected 2and, probably, wanted.) 3RAW issue 5 Is it WAR between RAW and BRAINSTORM? Lord Helmet, happy of the storm raised just stays at the window and comment ironically OLI's wonderful spandimerda scrolltext in BRS' Musicland (he gained a spandimerda award for that). The replies anyway come from Cybersonic/MC disk in his article "What the fuck is Zine?": "Zine was never THAT good in particular" ... "Zine 11 was actually the worst Zine issue ever, when looking at contents" ... "The design of RAW looks like Zine? Are Zine colous-blind, deaf and stupid?" ... "Brainstorm is just an average group with average coders, which got well-known because of the mag" ... "What the hell is this talk about Patsy? Should we really find it cool that she never existed? This is pathetic!" ... "I think Zine is AFRAID of starting the mag again because they KNOW they can NEVER repeat the `success'." ... "I feel a lot of people are FED UP with the arrogance of a dead mag" ... "ZINE is DEAD! and though it should not be forgotten (it after all was a good mag), there is NO point in saying that the currect magscene is dead." 2(Hard words but well argued. Cybersonic's rage is quite evident but the 2spandimerding never reach a climax because he tries to face the matter 2rationally (the most violent kind of spandimerding is something that comes from 2the animal rage repressed in everybody). Funny, anyway, the comment about the 2contents of Zine 11, surely not children of a detached analisys). 2Up to now we have seen how RAW, since the beginning, has tried the climbing to 2the charts taking care of the most dangerous competitor. We have seen how Lord 2Helmet prepared finally the ground for the final tempest, that had to wipe 2definitively out Zine and the ghost of its return from the scene. The reactions 2appeared in other mags, which hardly could believe to have such an hot affair to 2talk about. Just think about it, the leading mag of the past and of the present 2in open war, after a period of fair rivarly and even collaboration... 3TOP SECRET issue 13 Article "Brainstorm! A collection of utter twats" by Mud, main editor of the mag. After reporting parts of the interview in RAW4 (reported also here, it seems that in order to fill space we like to report what other mags have reported...) he writes: "Do you wanna get fooled once more? Forget them. Erase the word brainstorm from your vocabulary!!". 2(All in all the article seems the furious rection of a disillused fan. Zine 2succeeded in having some, RAW succeeded in making them angry. An example of 2direct and rough spandimerding, but not very satisfactory indeed, but still 2enjoyable) Article "Brainstormonitis, an awful desease!" by Twat/Cyprox (a guy who knows Casco): "I'm just here to inform you about a new and extremely dangerous desease called Brainstormonitis" ... "The first symptons are usually success" ... "The disease developes and other symptins pop up, like: changing of personality, ego-centric behaviour" ... "In this [the last] stage the personality changes into: extreme self-centered behaviour, total arrogance, and at this stage the patient is absolutely not trustworthy." ... "The two most known [cases] are two swiss guys called: Orlando Budelacci and Andre Shelker". 2(Optimum example of ironic spandimerding. A remarkable attempt to face the 2matter in a laterl, entertaining way. A real landmark of witty, ironic and soft 2spandimerding.) 3TOP SECRET issue 14 Article "Brainstormonitis - Not Spread!" by TFG co-main editor of Top Secret. "The two tragic cases on the scene, Orlando Budelacci and Andre Shelker, unfortunately haven't discovered that they are sick. And that means that the desease in the moment develops to unknown heights." ... "During the last couple of months we haven't noticed any new cases, just an aggravation of the two mentioned cases. But surely that's bad enough!" 2(Top Secret attacks again. They want to spread the new word and the article has 2to be meant in that way (and it always fills space, which is never a bad thing 2for a main-editor). This time the spandimerding is a bit more direct and less 2ironic. All in all a good attempt which lacks anyway the polish and the style 2of the original.) 3SUICID issue 6 Reply to a reader's letter by Zinkfloid, main editor of Suicid. "I'm ex main-ed of Zine, here is Chester on da keyz! But Chester and Orlando are saying that Suicid is a very good mag, much better than Zine! Chester must admit that he is too weak as Suicid ed. so he got the vacant job as shoe-cleaner in the Suicid team!" ... "Chester admits that he is too bad in english language to answer this letter, so he continues now to clean shoes from Zinkfloid while Oli and Orlando are making coffee for the hard working Suicid editors." 2(Uhm, a new kind of Spandimerding. Quite sarcastic and evil, with traces of 2megalomania. Quite rewarding, all in all) Article: "Sequences" anonymously by the main editor. "We deserve to be your slaves! (Chester and Orlando/Brainstorm)" Article: "Suicidal awards" (any resemblance with the Spandimrda awards? :-O) "The SUICID AWARD for being the best slaves in the scene goes to: Chester, Orlando and Oli/Brainstorm ex aequo for serving the Suicid staff warm coffee, cleaning their shoes and organizing them hot oyster and tuna pizza!" 2(The spandimerding continues, same kind, same style. It's quite interesting 2this new way of spandimerding but it could be quite dangerous also because it 2hasn't traces of self irony. A theory: Is every Spandimerda a guy particularly 2sensible to a Brainstomonitis attack?)