$dff|1-I HATE... $df0 by Dan Wood $ff1 Since most people have done these "I Hate" lists at sometime, I reckoned I'd give it a go. It just seems a bit ironic that most people do these when they first start with diskmags, but I've been in the 'biz' for years, but never got around to doing this, so here goes! 1. pEOPLE wHO tYPE lIKE tHIS ARGHHH! Don't they realise how difficult it is on the eye to read that? The only time I ever type like that is when I accidently do it using a PC, because if you have CAPS LOCK on a PC, and you press Shift you get lower case letters for some dumb reason. Best way is to just not use them, and PCs as well while you're at it. $ff0[It was a phase started by ascii artists to my knowledge. Boring standard text is just that, boring. So we livened it up a bit but people got carried away and wrote CLI programs like "cool" which converts text files to this format. These days ascii artists tend to use symbols to represent characters rather than case. Kei] $ff1 2. BBC Radio Boy this sucks. Does any one still actually listen to this? I heard Radio 2 the other day, the 'announcers' ('cos they're not presenters) sound half asleep, and probably are, the shit they produce. Get rid of it all, commercial radio is the best. $ff0[Check out the BIG BYTE on sundays at noon on Radio 5. Kei] $ff1 3. Older people who go out with teenagers What's up with these people? What's the attraction if you're 35 with a 15 year old? I'm just out of my teens, and I wouldn't go out with any one younger than 17 (actually I prefer women slightly older). Why can't they find some one their own age, and stop picking on kids? I know of a woman who is !!43!! and going out with a 15 year old boy! It started out with the boy going out with the ladies daughter (who's 17) and they split up and the mother started going out with him, and whats the betting what this woman's after... hmmn. But I'm only a few years older than 15, but I don't find 15 year olds attractive. 4. Rab C Nesbitt I'm sure it's a very good show, but I need Teletext page 888 (subtitles) to understand the fat git! 5. Blur Beetlebum... 'nuf said. 6. Oasis Why are these idiots so popular? Heard what happened when they went to America? They had a fight so they had to come home? No way, they didn't sell enough tickets to make it worth their while doing a concert. But would they admit that? Would they hell as like (that expression should be number 7 :) The American 'fans' wouldn't take them sticking two fingers up, and telling them to f' off and still pay their livings. 7. Digitiser, Channel 4 TText Page 170 What have they got against the Amiga? They have news sections and the Gateway 2000 purchase didn't get a mention, it's my betting they actually fear the Amiga 'cos they know what it could do when it returns. So as ever, they put down what they fear and don't understand. They spout off crap about the machine with out even looking into it or researching their comments. Such as "people compare $3000 PowerPC processed PCs to a 512K A500 with 1.3 because thats the only Amigas you can find". Well sorry to dissapoint boys and girls, but the A1200 outweighs the current numbers of Amigas by about 85%. And a lot are heavily expanded. And Stewart Campbell... didn't he used to edit Amiga Power, or was that another Mr Campbell? 8. PC Users that say "You've got an Amiga?... FNARRR" I say "Sod off dickhead". :) 7. Playstation owners Most (not all, but most) Playstation users think to be under the impression that, if a game doesn't have full 3-D graphics and 256 colours on screen, with full scrolling animation, then it's a shit game. I get more fun out of Pac-Land than any Playstation game I have played, and Tomb Raider? What a sack of cack, and why are the females on these games always... so well endowed? It makes them look stupid if ya ask me. $ff0[I'm buying a PSX just so I can play Tomb Taider 1 and 2 so there. Kei] $ff1 9. Idiots who say "you middle class git" Which I don't think I am. But the majority of people who have said this to me have lived on council estates, have skin-heads, 3 kids and a wife, and no job. And just 'cos I got off my arse and made a nice living for myself and got a nice car and a nice house, they see fit to 'take the piss'. Don't get me wrong about council estates, I know there are some very nice people on them, but the ones like in the case above REALLY piss me off. 10. Classical Music Most of this is sooo boring, but I've heard some 'ok' tunes, but it lacks any 'feel' to it. 11. Country music Loads of bearded old men sitting in barns with guitars singing about 'the county bar'... yeah... right. [Sorry to keep commenting your article Dan but I can't help it. You are probably boiling the blood in the veins of people reading this and they probably want to reply to you right now (get typing!) and as I can, I will. Watch CMT and you will see that C&W music is no longer like this with women like Shania Twain singing modern C&W tracks with her cute figure. Kei] $ff1 12. Cassette Tapes Crap quality, fragile, look stupid, and whats with all that background hiss? Why couldn't the designers (Phillips) make it of a thicker and better quality tape? Minidisc is the way forward. But I guess cassette tapes have their advantages, in that EVERY ONE has a player, and they're cheap and portable. 13. Men and women that 'go out on the pull'. (to get laid) What is that? Very sad. When did sex become cheap? I dunno, maybe I'm just an old fashioned git? :) 14. Jane Butterworth At 'the other place' we have a conference every issue, and one of my friends (Mr Arnie Finen) seems to read this woman's column every week in The News of The World (which is a comic, not a paper, people). And he often re-types (illegaly of course :) letters she gets and the advice she gives for us all to see what we think. And she is CRAP! Sexist (she reckons ALL men use women, by her views) she seems to think a boy being attracted to his 2 year younger sister is 'perfectly natural stage of growing up, talk to her about it'. WHAT?!! It's sick! Definately not normal, never happened to me, and if it did, I wouldn't DARE tell her, I'd never be able to face her again. But suffice to say Jane Butterworth and that other feminist from the News of the World magazine who does the Family section sucks as well, which leads nicely to the next one... 15. Feminists What is it with these? Albeit most of them are women in comfortable shoes, from the planet lesbos (lesbians for the uneducated). But if they don't like men, then fine! Keep away from us, 'cos we certainly don't like you. And what's all this 'we fight for equal rights'?!! You got that in the 60s! Women have MUCH more rights than men these days, they have it much better and the whinging farts still harper on about it. I can honestly see a time when men start to stand up for equal rights, seriously can see it coming. 16. People with dress sense totally different to them. Alright, it's summer, it's warm. People tend to walk around half-naked. You see women in those silly crop top things and mini-skirts, and men with those skimpy cycling shorts... but if you're fat, don't wear stuff like that boys and girls! It's not nice to see! 17. Windows Did Bill Gates and the team have to work hard to get it to be that bad? How the hell did it become so popular, when it's so bad?! I *hate* Windows. $ff0[Microsoft were given the license to produce the OS for IBM's PC's as at the time, IBM figured the personal computer market would never take off. They had to kick themselves in the butt for that one. Their reply was OS/2 which as we know, came out to late and Microsoft remains the industry standard with the most support from 3rd party manafacturers. Kei] $ff1 18. The word "Bloke" What the hell is that?! What a stupid word, please BAN it from THE WORD. It's banned from my mag from now on, it's only recently I've realised how stupid it sounds! And it was a bit wierd to end at number 18, but I couldn't think of anymore. So until next time. That's all I guess! $ff0[If there was ever an article to inspire replies then this is it. I promised myself recently that I would cut down on the amount of comments I made per issue as my viewpoints are not the same as everyone elses. So even though I wanted to reply to every line you wrote here, I haven't. I think I'll leave that to the other readers. I think I can hear BootBlock's text editor booting up right now.. Kei] $f9f end