After  the  severe  (and completely unprovoked) ribbing that I received,
courtesy of Freak, last ish, your host,

|Aladdin Sane



has,  in attempting to piece together what is left of his shattered ego,
decided  to  defended  his  character  from  those who are jealous of my
god-like stature.  I had intended to sue Freak for Libel for the comment
about my being unable to pull, but my solicitor (who is a bit of a babe,
by  the  way)  said  it  was inadvisable (something about the comment in
question having to be a lie!).  In answer to Freak's cruel and malicious
jibes, I have now founded an organisation to defend my honour...


People Against Ribbing Aladdin, or;

|P. A. R. A.



originally,  the  title  was Viscious Unwarranted Learyness and Vehement
Abhorrence,  but I was none too keen to be part of a group called VULVA!
The Defensively Orientated National Group for Ego-Ribbing, was similarly
refused,  as  I did not want to be known as a DONGER!  The Confederation
for the Unsuitability of Nasty Terms was not even worth considering.



Freak seems to assume that because, unlike HIM, I do not frequently kiss
and  tell,  detailing  my  exploits  with  members of the fairer sex.  I
prefer  to  remain  silent,  like  a GENTLEMAN and simply retain my fond
memories of all the girls I've loved before, who've travelled in and out
my door, I'm glad they came along, I dedicate thi song, to all the girls
I've...

...oh, sorry, I just slipped into my Julio Inglesias mode...

Further,  when  I  do  meet  a young lady to whom I am attracted, unlike
Freak, I prefer to keep our relationship purely platonic (ie NO JIGGING)
until  we  both  feel that the act of love is a natural progression, and
mutually  beneficial.  Unlike Freak, I see the act of love as a precious
gift  to  be accepted gratefully and that I should reciprocate that gift
by  ensuring  my  partner's needs are fulfilled before my own.  Finally,
unlike  Freak,  Sex  lasts  alot  longer  than it takes to make a cup of
coffee...

  (HEY! You only put that one in because I take ages to make a cup of
  coffee, AND you have to drop loads of hints to get me started! - F)

...AND I don't roll over and fall asleep afterwards...

Now  Freak being editor-in-chief of this little disk-zine (what a lovely
word,  DISK-ZINE, ooh, makes me go all slushy when I say it, DISK-ZINE),
anyhow,  Freak  being editor, bugger all of this will be printed, so I'd
just like to say you're all a bunch of sad wankers !!!

By  the  way,  that ensuring my partner is satisfied bit was true, so if
there  are  any babes who are looking for a one-way ticket to the big-O,
then my number is;

                              01507 601192

Please  leave  your  name,  contact  number, age and bust size after the
tone.

As ever

|Aladdin Sane


                             (1974 - 199?)

Addendum: (Yes, the Rock-god sex-pot diva even knows LATIN)

Freak  has  now  had  the gall and bare-faced cheek to call me STERILE !
This  Freudian slip is quite ironic coming from a JAFFA like Dicky-poos.
Alexander the Great has more chance of producing offspring than a Eunuch
like FREAK !

          (Oh, purleeze!  I meant to say "Pure", honest! - F)