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@t6@f02@c HOW TO BREAK THE ICE WITH NORWEGIANS 


@t5@f00And   again  'Hello  and  Welcome'  to
another  miserable  lesson of articles
you   never   wanted   to   read,  but
accidentaly  rushed  in!   Hey, just a
joke.   This  one is really not as bad
as  it  was  supposed to be, because I
have  NOT  written  it by myself!!!  I
took  this  small  one  from  an older
issue  of  'The  European' ( Must have
been  in  autumn 1991 ) and I think it
is    quite    entertaining   in   its
overstating  way  -  'Hope  you do not
mind...
@t6HOW TO BREAK THE ICE WITH NORWEGIANS 
@t3by Hege Duckert

@t5This   is  a  Norwegian  joke,  so  be
patient.   If  you  see  a  polar bear
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@t5
crossing  a  city street at night, say
"Good  evening".   If  the  polar bear
replies:"Shut   your  big  mouth",  it
either  hasn't  heared you properly or
you  are talking to a Norwegian on his
way  home  from  a  party.  As I said,
patience is required to understand the
Norwegian  sense  of humour just as it
is  needed  to understand the mores of
the  mysterious  inhabitants  of  this
remote  northern land.  As Scandinavia
draws  closer  to  Europe,  people who
until  now have not the faintest idea,
where  Norway  is,  are  going  to  be
meeting Norwegians for the first time.
They  could  be in for a shock.  
To   be  Norwegian  is  to  be,  well,
different.   Now  a  new book has been
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@t5published  in English in Oslo called "
How   to   understand  and  deal  with
Norwegian".   Written  by the humorist
Odd  Borretzen,  it  is meant to be an
aid for businessman and tourist alike,
especially   those  trying  to  get  a
Norwegian    to   sign   a   fisheries
agreement,  or  who  are  mystified by
their  first meeting with this curious
species.  A Norwegian, according to Mr
Borretzen,  is  just as outlandish and
incomprehensible  to  people  of other
nationalities as a compact disc system
is  to  most grandparents.  First, how
do  you recognise a Norwegian?  
In   the   old  days,  the  travelling
Norwegian always used to wear a woolen
cap  with  a  bobble, smell faintly of
fish and say very little.  For someone
who  for  8000  years lived in his own
cave on his very own mountain, silence
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@t5is   considered   a   virtue.   Today,
however,  Norwegians  dress in Italian
suits   and   Portuguese   shoes  like
everyone  else.  Thus, the best way to
tell  whether  he  is Norwegian, is to
ask him:  "Are you Swedish?" You won't
get  a  reply, but a gnarled hand will
immediately  seize  you by the throat.
Then  you'll know you've got your man,
or  rather,  he's  got  you.   But you
won't  get  a  word out of a Norwegian
whatever the provocation because he is
a  creature of few, if any, words.  In
a country where the winter climate may
drop as low as -20C, Norwegians do not
hang  out at pavement cafes discussing
The   Meaning   of   Life.    Instead,
Norwegians  are the world's last great
letter   writers.   If  they  want  to
complain  they  reach for a pen rather
than  a  phone.   
@#
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@t5Newspapers and radio stations get more
letters  per capita of population than
anywhere    else    in    the   world.
Norwegians  look  askance at events in
Sweden, Europe and the US.  They dream
of the time when their skiers won most
Winter  Olympic  medals,  and  corrupt
officials were something that occurred
in any country south of Svinesund.  If
you   are   a   European   businessman
visiting  Norway between now and Xmas,
you  will invariably be asked to taste
the    traditional   Christmas   dish,
Lutefisk,  a  fish  dipped in a strong
alkaline  solution  until  it  has the
consistency, smell and taste of a dead
penguin.     Mr   Borretzen   strongly
advises  the  foreigner not to eat the
dish   unless   he   really  wants  to
understand  the  inner workings of the
Norwegian  mind.   This truly horrible
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@t5fish  symbolises Norwegian philosophy.
If you can manage to swallow Lutefisk,
you  can  also  manage  to swallow The
Disappointments  of  Life.If  you pass
this   test,you   can   get   down  to
business. And if you are a businessman
trying to get a Norwegian to   sign  a  
fisheries  agreement,try looking up in
Mr Borretzen's guide.It will tell  you 
that if the Norwegian just  stares  at 
the wall,this may be because he thinks
you're  trying to swindle  him. WHICH,
OF COURSE, YOU ARE.
@t4POST SCRIPTUM:@t5
Gosh!   Nice  guys these Norwegians...
Well,  I  am really looking forward to
spent  next  winters  holidays in your
seemingly  lovely country, spending my
time skiing, letter writing and eating
Lutefisk.
@t3>>> RokDaZone <<<
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