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                            THE LEGENDARY MYTHS
                            ===================

by COON-O of MANITOU

These  are  myths from hundreds and thousands of years old scrolls on pergament,
which were found in a cavern near Lambach/Austria by some boys who played there.
These  scrolls  were  a  scientific sensation, because they opened a totally new
sight  of  the world.  It is as yet uncertain when exactly they were written and
who  did  it.   The  myths  on  the pergament scrolls were written in Kracillian
language  and translated into English by DDr.Kuno Ygrene.  Ofcourse the way they
are  written  sounds  a  bit strange in the direct translation, but I think that
doesn't make it less interesting.  See youself...


Chapter One - In The Beginning


In  the beginning there was DRAGOS.  (Oh yes, the beginning was in the year 90!)
And  DRAGOS  said  (Yeah,  he  really talked to himself!) "I'm so pissed, I must
create  something.   Something awesome, mighty, wonderful!" But as the AMIGA was
already  invented,  he  created  GRACE instead.  And DRAGOS looked at it.  And I
think  he  thought  it  was  good.  And as there was no one who told him that it
wasn't,  he  was satisfied and said (to himself again) "Aah, that was hard work,
I'm  gonna  get  some beers now and then fall asleep in front of the TV set!" As
DRAGOS watched ORF, he suddenly fell asleep.  And as he slept, millions of years
(or at least some months) passed, and WILD RAGE, a hero from far over the Alpes,
where the Barbarians live, took over the crown of GRACE.


Chapter Two - The Growing Forces


As WILD RAGE ruled very wisely (slime slime), the forces of GRACE increased like
the  bunnies  and conquered many countries.  Sometimes one or another colony was
carried  off  by  the  plague  or wild markomanic tribes, but it was also a time
where  milk  and  honey  flew (also known as the "Cornflakes-Period").  But also
other  other  empires  appeared  and forces were raised in the state of love and
trust, the historical Austria.


Chapter Three - The Awakening


"Booiiiing!"  and  DRAGOS  awoke  from his sleep, because WILD RAGE had used his
favourite  program, X-COPY.  He looked and thought that it wasn't good.  "Should
I make a new version of this?" he asked himself, but then he thought "No, I want
to  create  something  good,  lovely,  something that makes people smile at each
other!".   Well,  he  created  MEGATRON.  Probably it wasn't lovely, and it made
people hate each other, but it was really good!


Chapter Four - Times Of Tools


And  in  these  days  X-COPY V91.65 appeared, which had a better GFX-design, and
much  prettier points and questionmarks than Version 90.76, and, most important,
a digitized "Booiiiing!" in three voices with a slow-fading-effect.  But that is
another story...


Chapter Five - Times Of Tales


And in these days tales were spon.  And as every sponner spunned a span until he
was spinning spuns over spens, only nonsense came out in the end.  (If you think
that  was  a  good  tongue-twister,  please  vote  for it!!!) And now follow the
Chapters of tales...


Chapter Six - The Nebel-Lungs


Once upon a slime there was a young warrior called COON-O.  And COON-O came over
the mountains and came over the sea and took the 12:30 bus to Worms.  But as the
driver  had  his first day of work, he lost his way somewhere in the swamp.  And
COON-O decided to go on foot.  After some time of walking he met two guys.  They
were  the  NEBELLUNG-BROTHERS,  FAG and FOG, who were famous Rockstars and heavy
smokers.   Well,  FAG  was  a bit different from normal men, and FOG was an even
heavier  smoker  (He got a medal from the Austria Tabak Company!) than FAG.  The
two  were  fighting over a collection of three gold records, and now they wanted
COON-O to divide them up equally.  First he gave FOG one, but FAG said "Oh dear,
that's  no justice sweetheart, is it, nice boy?".  But when COON-O gave him also
a  gold  record, FOG rattled "Cough cough, that's unfair, harumph, you're a damn
bast-cough  coughahoumph!".   When  COON-O divided the third gold record with an
original  Swiss knive (TradeMark "MacGyver"), and gave both of them a half, they
still  weren't  satisfied.  So he gave everyone a Joystick, put them in front of
an AMIGA, and let them play MEGATRON.  After that they killed each other, and he
could  take  their  gold records.  Then he continued his way for new adventures,
with a new experience in his mind.

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