Now what are you doing here then? Lets be honest for just a few brief moments, and just forget the wider perspective of the eternal quest for self knowledge. Why are you reading the docs? 1) You're unbelievably bored. 2) You want to find out more about the full, controversial, and just plain awesome version of Blimey. If so good for you. 3) You got confused and selected to load this by accident. What are you? Stupid or somthing. Thank- you and Goodnight. Plot: Oh dear. These are always embarassing.... It's a hard life being a highly reactive, sub atomic particle. One minute you're flying around the ether, hanging out with y' mates, down the pub every night, hopping off to clubs to dance the small hours away and generally having a laugh riot. The next you've collided with a bloody electrophile and you're stuck in a long term covalent bond, with 700,000 decaying Isotopes to support. Life's a Bitch. So you play one of a multitude of particles who have suceeded in their desperate bid to maintain independence in the face of a lovingly chaotic universe, and eventually gained the moral maturity to realise that there's more to life than hanging around getting a few laughs, so set out on a spirtual journey to confront every aspect of humanity and share in every single emotion. Like you do, y'know. Instructions: These are the guidelines for using something. Instructions for Blimey: Right, If you're reading this it means that you've loaded the game, and just don't understand what the F*** it's all about, and need my help. So, at the most intrinsic level I can be as facetious and abusive as I want. But, being a self confessed nice guy, I won't. (p.s. That is a lie. See Team 4.5 Commandment#2..) Basic Gameplay: You control one of up to four highly reactive, experience hungry particles looking to survive in a highly hostile (read fatal) universe. Also you don't "like" each other, so spend your time in the morally unjustifiable pastime of ramming into each other, to attempt to force each other into either the death zones or the viciously electronegative white particles. If you succeed then your opposition number will loose a "Life" in traditional, conventional and utterly unforgivably conformist manner. When all your opponents have lost all their "lives" then you've won a "point". First one to 3 wins is the victor, and has Team 4.5's express permission to gloat, sneer and generally be obnoxious to all your fellow gamers (in the world). Each ball has a limited ammount of "Shield", which is activated by holding down the fire button. When in use the particle is completely intangible, which succeeds in defying all physicians knowledge of sub attomic collisons, allowing your particle to progress uninhibited through Death zones, Other players and just about everything else.Hurrah. Considerable entertainment can be gained from this social interaction. Various Tactics are discussed at the end of doc for achieving Total Overkill of all opponents. Feel Free to read these, and then not reveal this information to your Opponents, and so annihilate them. "We're here to devour each other Alive",as Hobbesso nobly stated. Press "P" to Pause. Press "Q" to quit levels. 4-Play is only available to those with a 4-play adaption. And There is no One player version. For justification see later. (And observe Team 4.5 Commandment #1) The Menu: O.K. I'll take this slowly.... 1) You move the pointer around with your "Joystick". You know. JOY-STICK. JOY-STICK. Arghhhhh. I Don't know why I bother. If you don't get this bit how on earth are you going to grasp the full-on amphetamine charged action of the game. Stupid, Stupid,Stupid. 2) Now this bit is a little Unusual. To Change anything, You hold down fire and move the Stick left and right to modify it. Cool,huh. 3) To Start the game press Fire on the Second players stick. Or the Mouse. If you want to. You could just go outside and get some "Mates" round for some male bonding action, or somthing. Unless you're female. Then you can't be male obviously. Not even if you have a sex change, according to Her Majesties courts anyway.Stupid? You decide. 4) If You want to save your Preferences press "s". They will now load in every time you load up Blimey. Hurrah. And that's it. Except a few of the more obscure options, namely "Ram Pause". When this is on your joystick goes dead for about a half-second, leading to a more intresting game. Oh, you can still activate your shield to protect yourself. Team 4.5 recommend not turning this off, but We thought we'll give you the choice. We're nice like that you see. Big fans of "Turnoffonability", if you know what we're saying. Full Version of Blimey: Now this is Good. We hate shareware at Team 4.5. so this offer isn't shareware. You've got a completely valid game in your possession already. Keep it, Give it to your Friends or throw it out. We don't care. However we're in the position to offer you somthing better. Much Better. Including all of the following. * 70 Levels including 21 backgrounds. * A "sort of" 1 player mode. * 3 Sorts of competitions: Best of, First to and Tournament * Select different levels for each round of competition * And vary the number of balls and their speed on every level too. * Animated Bobs (They squish entertainingly) * Animated explosions * Several different sets of sprites * Death Zones with 7 different patterns (with each set ofsprites!) * New wrap round function * Save up to 10 different sets of Preferences, for speedy selection * 3 Pieces of Music by the most talented musician working today. * 4 sets of Sound Effects * Intelligent Loading system * Hard Drive install * Vary sound levels of music and FX * Or turn then off individually * Vary the lengthof the Ram Pause * Vary Friction levels for each player individually * Higher levels of shields are able to be set * Maybe some secret stuff * Level Designer * Picture converter (Use your own DPaint backgrounds) * Sprite converter (Ditto) * Attitude * Swearing (but not gratuitously) * OR a censored version with nasty bits removed! * Relevence to real life * All spread accross two action packed disks (cliche?) * All the code for Blimey * All for a mere £4.50- P+P included Come on. You know you want to. Send cheques (or postal orders( or inflatable penguins for that matter*)) payable to "Team Four and a Half" to:- Team 4.5 5,the Brandons School lane Stafford ST17 9EZ * But with some money as well. Thankyou. And now for some Wibble. Team 4.5. Why?: I'm sorry. I think we've used this joke in a previous doc. So I won't bother. The Team 4.5 Commandments: Shamelessly aping fairly good NWONW-punksters These Animal Men, and furthering our ideal of being a band rather than a coding team, we've made 4 and a half commandments we're going live our lives by. They are 1) Four-Play is Important. 2) All men are bastards*. 3) We're secretly Ironic. 4) Never admit your inadequacies 4.5) Thou shalt not place.... Rock 'n' Roll! Why is there no one player mode in Blimey? We don't believe there would be any real point to it. If you want to play Blimey, a game dedicated to aiding multi-person recreation by yourself it makes you, oh so very slightly sad. It's like playing SFII against the machine: You could do it but it's just an incredibly naff (ooooh good word that) thing to do. So get your mates round now! Why is there no Keyboard control? Alot of thought went into this one: We decided against it. It makes us angry that people are willing to sink Hundreds of pounds into graphics chips and faster processors to make a game look better but are not even willing to pay a fiver to make a game more fun. And by making the higher multi levels of play available only to the people who have invested in the future of their amiga we're trying to encourage you to buy a Four way adaptor. It's worth it, it really is. Just play Dynablaster to find out why. Software Artisans? Programmers who sneer basically. And have full artistic control over their products, rather than merely obeying some corparate suited accountant or market-trend (This means everyone who made a Football management game). A Programmer sees programing as a job. A Software Artisan sees it as a way to Express himself. Thats the difference. I hope you understand what I'm saying. And I hope you join us. That'll do for now. Thanks for reading, Love C-Monster, Software Artisan. "Most Governments, Religions, Institutions, Weapons of war and general STUPID ideas Were made by a man. But not me I was made by a woman." :S*M*A*S*H