_ __ ________________________________________________________________ __ _ ___ .,,,, .---._ Oo .::::. .::::. ::: ::: __\__\ ( oo)__ (¯oo) /..\ :: :: :: :: ::: ::: \ / Oo\o (\(\ /\_ \__) /\_ \/\_,/ :: .. ::..:: ::' ::' _\\`--_/ o/oO \ \__)_/ _\__)_/_/ :::::: :::::: ::....::.... \_ \ \ \.--'/ /_/_/ \ /_/_// `::::' :: :: `:::::`:::::: /_/__/ /¯\ \___ _(__)_)_, (__)_/ .::::. ;:: |_|_ \_/_/\_/\ o o (__)) ,:' `::::::::::::::::::::::::::' (__)_)___(_(_) ¯¯ ________ ____________________ __ _/\ ___ \____ \/ / ___/ /_ _/ \/ / \ \/ \/ \ \ \ / /__^ / / // ^ / \___ \ / ___ __o /_______//\___/__/ /_/ \_/\_/\_____/ / \_ ___ _-\<,_ DREAM MACHINE WorLD DHQ CenTer © /__/\___'97 ___ (_)/ (_) PaRaDiSe : wORLD iNNOVATION wORLD dISTRIBUTION sITE! NirVaNa : wORLD iNNOVATION wORLD dISTRIBUTION sITE! Node [1] +31-570-637050 Node [2] +31-570-636468 Node [3] +31-570-677702 Amiexpress V4.20 Registered On An Amiga 2000 GVP-Tekmagic 68060 32MB KS3.1 Pioneer Changer DRM-604X + Toshiba Cd-Rom 4 HD's 7110MB Space Total... 2 * cREDITZ fOR mAJORS! 3 * cREDITZ fOR mAJORS fROM yOUR oWN gROUP! pROVIDING yOU: Amiga ECS/AGA, PC, AmiExpress, Sex Pic, Sex Stories ---»> nO nEW uSER pASSWORD aND/oR sYSTEM pASSWORD! <«--- - -- ---------------------------------------------------------------- -- - @BEGIN_FILE_ID.DIZSOURCE CODE 2 WINDOWS READ IT AND MAYBE YOU WILL ENJOY YOUR AMIGA [33K6] CALL FOR FREE ACCESS DIGITAL-X [33K6] @END_FILE_ID.DIZ . .___________ _|_ ______________________________. | | | : bOONDOCKS · oNE oF tHE fASTEST iN eUROPE | . _______ __ _|_ ____ ______ ________ : _____ _|_\_ / . | . \_ __ ______\_. \ ______ _\_. /__| ___ / __/__ | / / | : | / \| / l \/ . \ l___/\_ |/ /___ / : \ \______|______/ \ /_________/ | \________/ / _/_______/_ _l______/sc : _/ \____/ \__________/ _/ \___) | | . \_____| \______| | | : | |hELLFiRE & lSD wHQ!·tRISTAR & rED^SECTOR iNC., sUNFLEX iNC. & lFC aMIGA eHQ!| | tRiSTAR & rEDSECTOR iNC. cONSOLE aND gERMAN cONSOLE sYNDICATE wHQ! | | sNEAKERS eUROPEAN hQ | | tRiSTAR & rED^SECTOR iNC. /X-iNNOVATiON wORLD diSTRiBUTiON sITE | | cLASSIC^qUARTEX hQ! · dREAMCHARTS, dEViOUS dEZiGNS & dATA dIVISION dHQ! | | -g^sTYLE! & tWISTED wHQ! · pRO aRTS & rOADHOGZ eHQ! | | | | mASTERS aRE: | | -·>s/\L-oNE!·mARIO·sECTORCHARGER·cOLONEL·gAZ P·eCS<·- | | | | rUNNING oN aN aMIGA 4ooo wITH a cYBERSTORM o6o/5o mHZ/22 mB! | | 2 * cREDITZ fOR mAJORS! 3 * cREDITZ fOR mAJORS fROM yOUR oWN gROUP! | | | | +31-(o)-548-54O-653 +31-(o)-548-521-716/521-848 +tEL-NET | | -·>16k8 dUAL<·- -·>33k6 dUALS!<·- 23:30-06:00 gMT +1 | | | l_________._ _ _ _._________| ________ | -·>nO nEW uSER pASSWORD aND/oR sYSTEM pASSWORd!<·- | ________ |________|| ||________| : uPLOADEd bY UFOk oN nODE #01 : . tIME aND dATE oF tHE uPLOAD: 04:20:09 , 01-13-1997 . å *** Area: JOKE_R23.PUB Date: 9 Jan 96 3:22:42 *** From: Flemming Steffensen (2:238/28.13) *** To : all *** Subj: Microsoft marketing strategy (MARKET.E Reply-To: fsteff@dannug.dk (fsteff) Jeg faldt lige over lidt interesant og oplysende microsoft source kode: #include #include #include /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */ #include /* For the court of law */ #define say(x) lie(x) #define computeruser ALL_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE #define next_year soon #define the_product_is_ready_to_ship another_beta_version void main() { if (latest_window_version>one_month_old) { if (there_are_still_bugs) market(bugfix); if (sales_drop_below_certain_point) raise(RUMOURS_ABOUT_A_NEW_BUGLESS_VERSION); } while(everyone_chats_about_new_version) { make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking); /* Standard Call, in lie.h */ if (rumours_grow_wilder) make_false_promise(it_will_be_plug_n_play); if (rumours_grow_even_wilder) { market_time=ripe; say("It will be ready in one month); order(programmers, stop_fixing_bugs_in_old_version); order(programmers, start_brainstorm_about_new_version); order(marketingstaff, permission_to_spread_nonsense); vapourware=TRUE; break; } } switch (nasty_questions_of_the_worldpress) { case WHEN_WILL_IT_BE_READY: say("It will be ready in", today+30_days," we're just testing"); break; case WILL_THIS_PLUG_AND_PLAY_THING_WORK: say("Yes it will work"); ask(programmers, why_does_it_not_work); pretend(there_is_no_problem); break; case WHAT_ARE_MINIMAL_HARDWARE_REQUIREMENTS: say("It will run on a 8086 with lightning speed due to" " the 32 bits architecture"); inform(INTEL, "Pentium sales will rise skyhigh"); inform(SAMSUNG, "Start a new memorychip plant" "'cos all those customers will need at least 32 megs"); inform(QUANTUM, "Thanks to our fatware your sales will triple"); get_big_bonus(INTEL, SAMSUNG, QUANTUM); break; case DOES_MICROSOFT_GET_TOO_MUCH_INFLUENCE: say("Oh no, we are just here to make a better world for everyone"); register(journalist, Big_Bill_Book); when(time_is_ripe) { arrest(journalist); brainwash(journalist); when(journalist_says_windows95_is_bugfree) { order(journalist, "write a nice objective article"); release (journalist); } } break; } while (vapourware) { introduction_date++; /* Delay */ if (no_one_believes_anymore_there_will_be_a_release) break; say("It will be ready in",today+ONE_MONTH); } release(beta_version) while (everyone_is_dumb_enough_to_buy_our_bugware) { bills_bank_account += 150*megabucks; release(new_and_even_better_beta_version); introduce(more_memory_requirements); if (customers_report_installation_problems) { say("that is a hardware problem, not a software problem"); if (smart_customer_says_but_you_promised_plug_and_play) { ignore(customer); order(microsoft_intelligence_agency, "Keep an eye on this bastard"); } } if (there_is_another_company) { steal(their_ideas); accuse(compagny, stealing_our_ideas); hire(a_lot_of_lawyers); /* in process.h */ wait(until_other_company_cannot_afford_another_lawsuit); buy_out(other_company); } } /* Now everyone realizes that we sell bugware and they are all angry at us */ order(plastic_surgeon, make_bill_look_like_poor_bastard); buy(nice_little_island); hire(harem); laugh_at(everyone, for_having_the_patience_year_after_year_for_another_unfinished_version); } void bugfix(void) { charge (a_lot_of_money); if (customer_says_he_does_not_want_to_pay_for_bugfix) say("It is not a bugfix but a new version"); if (still_complaints) { ignore(customer); register(customer, Big_Bill_Book); /* We'll get him when everyone uses Billware!!*/ } } ---Flemming Steffensen FIDO-NET: 2:238/28.13 | INTERNET: fsteff@dannug.dk AMIGANET: 39:140/109.13 | ADSP-NET: flemming@firstpf.adsp.sub.org --- * Origin: Can't live without Intuition! AMIGA Rulez! (2:238/28.13) ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ -( [ bOONDOCKS! ] [ oNE oF tHE fASTEST iN eUROPE ] )- ________________________________________________________________________ __/ __ __/ _ __/ _ __/ _ __/ ___ __/ _ __/ ____/ / __/ ____/ \_ _ \_ / \_ / \_ / \_ / \_ / \_ / \_ _ \_____ \_ / / ¯¯/ _/ / _/ / / / _/ / _/ / _/ / / ¯¯/ _/ / /___ \__ \__ \__/ \__ \__ \__ \__/ \__ \ sAl1 \/______\/ \/______\/ \/______\/ \/______\/ \ / \ /________\ / \ /________\ / / \ / \ / [·hELLFIRE&lSD wHQ!·tRISTAR aND rED^sECTOR ¡NC.·sUNFLEX iNC.&lFC aMIGA eHQ!·] [·tRiSTAR & rED^SECTOR iNC. cONSOLE·&·gERMAN cONSOLE sYNDICATE wHQ!·] [·tRISTAR & rED^sECTOR ¡NC! /X-iNNOVATION wORLD dISTRIBUTION sITE!·] [·cLASSIC^qUARTEX hQ!·] [·dREAMCHARTS·dEVIOUS dEZIGNS·&·dATA dIVISION dHQ!·] [·-g^sTYLE!·&·tWISTED wHQ!·] [·pRO ARTS·&·rOADHOGZ eHQ!·] [·sYSOPS: s/\L-oNE!·mARIO·sECTORCHARGER·cOLONEL·gAZ P·eCS·] rUNNING oN aN aMIGA 4OOO wITH a cYBERSTORM O6O/5O mHZ/22 mB 2 * cREDITZ fOR mAJORS! 3 * cREDITZ fOR mAJORS fROM yOUR oWN gROUP! --»> lATEST aMIEXPRESS vERSION 4.xX! <«-- ---»> nO nEW uSER pASSWORD aND/oR sYSTEM pASSWORD! <«--- +31-(O)-548-54O-653 +31-(O)-548-521-716/521-848 +tEL-NET -[ 16k8 dUAL ]- -[ 33k6 dUALS ]- -[ 23:30-06:00 gMT +1 ]- [-[[ uPLOADEd bY: UFOk ]]-]--[-[[ nODE: 01 ]]-] [-[[ tIME aND dATE oF tHE uPLOAD: ]]---[[ 04:20:09, 01-13-1997 ]]-] ========================================================================== Uploaded on 15-Mar-97 at 00:07:02 on line # 0 Done by BalTiMorA Who called from DiGiTaL-X ParaDise/D ========================================================================== [A¡RaDDer v3.5 By A¡Rcø]