Random (Bard) Using JavaScript

Title Text
First Text
Second Text
Third Text

" , thou art nought but a "

(William Shakespeare).

" Bill Gates, thou art nought but a "

(Every PC owner!).

Quick Display of Source
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<SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript">
    var titlenum = 21 ;
    var titlerand = Math.random() ;
    var ttrand = Math.round( (titlenum-1) * titlerand) + 1 ;
    title = new Array
    title[1] = "Sire"
    title[2] = "Knave"
    title[3] = "Sir"
    title[4] = "Squire"
    title[5] = "My Liege"
    title[6] = "Your Majesty"
    title[7] = "Fop"
    title[8] = "Woman"
    title[9] = "Old Man"
    title[10] = "Lord"
    title[11] = "Peasant"
    title[12] = "Serf"
    title[13] = "Get thee gone"
    title[14] = "Fie"
    title[15] = "Begone"
    title[16] = "From thy visage I presume"
    title[17] = "I faith"
    title[18] = "Tis said that"
    title[19] = "Tis plain to mine eye"
    title[20] = "Fool"
    title[21] = "Bill Gates"
    var titletext = title[ttrand]
   </SCRIPT>

<SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript">
    var firstnum = 50 ;
    var firstrand = Math.random() ;
    var frand = Math.round( (firstnum-1) * firstrand) + 1 ;
    first = new Array
    first[1] = "artless"
    first[2] = "bawdy"
    first[3] = "beslubbering"
    first[4] = "bootless"
    first[5] = "churlish"
    first[6] = "cockered"
    first[7] = "clouted"
    first[8] = "craven"
    first[9] = "currish"
    first[10] = "dankish"
    first[11] = "dissembling"
    first[12] = "droning"
    first[13] = "errant"
    first[14] = "fawning"
    first[15] = "fobbing"
    first[16] = "froward"
    first[17] = "frothy"
    first[18] = "gleeking"
    first[19] = "goatish"
    first[20] = "gorbellied"
    first[21] = "impertinent"
    first[22] = "infectious"
    first[23] = "jarring"
    first[24] = "loggerheaded"
    first[25] = "lumpish"
    first[26] = "mammering"
    first[27] = "mangled"
    first[28] = "mewling"
    first[29] = "paunchy"
    first[30] = "pribbling"
    first[31] = "puking"
    first[32] = "puny"
    first[33] = "quailing"
    first[34] = "rank"
    first[35] = "reeky"
    first[36] = "roguish"
    first[37] = "ruttish"
    first[38] = "saucy"
    first[39] = "spleeny"
    first[40] = "spongy"
    first[41] = "surly"
    first[42] = "tottering"
    first[43] = "unmuzzled"
    first[44] = "vain"
    first[45] = "venomed"
    first[46] = "villainous"
    first[47] = "warped"
    first[48] = "wayward"
    first[49] = "weedy"
    first[50] = "yeasty"
    var firsttext = first[frand]
    </SCRIPT>

<SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript">
    var secondnum = 50 ;
    var secondrand = Math.random() ;
    var srand = Math.round( (secondnum-1) * secondrand) + 1 ;
    second = new Array
    second[1] = "base-court"
    second[2] = "bat-fowling"
    second[3] = "beef-witted"
    second[4] = "beetle-headed"
    second[5] = "boil-brained"
    second[6] = "clapper-clawed"
    second[7] = "clay-brained"
    second[8] = "common-kissing"
    second[9] = "crook-pated"
    second[10] = "dismal-dreaming"
    second[11] = "dizzy-eyed"
    second[12] = "doghearted"
    second[13] = "dread-bolted"
    second[14] = "earth-vexing"
    second[15] = "elf-skinned"
    second[16] = "fat-kidneyed"
    second[17] = "fen-sucked"
    second[18] = "flap-mouthed"
    second[19] = "fly-bitten"
    second[20] = "folly-fallen"
    second[21] = "fool-born"
    second[22] = "full-gorged"
    second[23] = "guts-griping"
    second[24] = "half-faced"
    second[25] = "hasty-witted"
    second[26] = "hedge-born"
    second[27] = "hell-hated"
    second[28] = "idle-headed"
    second[29] = "ill-breeding"
    second[30] = "ill-nurtured"
    second[31] = "knotty-pated"
    second[32] = "milk-livered"
    second[33] = "motley-minded"
    second[34] = "onion-eyed"
    second[35] = "plume-plucked"
    second[36] = "pottle-deep"
    second[37] = "pox-marked"
    second[38] = "reeling-ripe"
    second[39] = "rough-hewn"
    second[40] = "rude-growing"
    second[41] = "rump-fed"
    second[42] = "shard-borne"
    second[43] = "sheep-biting"
    second[44] = "spur-galled"
    second[45] = "swag-bellied"
    second[46] = "tardy-gaited"
    second[47] = "tickle-brained"
    second[48] = "toad-spotted"
    second[49] = "urchin-snouted"
    second[50] = "weather-bitten"
    var secondtext = second[srand]
    </SCRIPT>

<SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript">
    var thirdnum = 50 ;
    var thirdrand = Math.random() ;
    var trand = Math.round( (thirdnum-1) * thirdrand) + 1 ;
    third = new Array
    third[1] = "apple-john"
    third[2] = "baggage"
    third[3] = "barnacle"
    third[4] = "bladder"
    third[5] = "boar-pig"
    third[6] = "bugbear"
    third[7] = "bum-bailey"
    third[8] = "canker-blossom"
    third[9] = "clack-dish"
    third[10] = "clotpole"
    third[11] = "coxcomb"
    third[12] = "codpiece"
    third[13] = "death-token"
    third[14] = "dewberry"
    third[15] = "flap-dragon"
    third[16] = "flax-wench"
    third[17] = "flirt-gill"
    third[18] = "foot-licker"
    third[19] = "fustilarian"
    third[20] = "giglet"
    third[21] = "gudgeon"
    third[22] = "haggard"
    third[23] = "harpy"
    third[24] = "hedge-pig"
    third[25] = "horn-beast"
    third[26] = "hugger-mugger"
    third[27] = "jolthead"
    third[28] = "lewdster"
    third[29] = "lout"
    third[30] = "maggot-pie"
    third[31] = "malt-worm"
    third[32] = "mammet"
    third[33] = "measle"
    third[34] = "minnow"
    third[35] = "miscreant"
    third[36] = "moldwarp"
    third[37] = "mumble-news"
    third[38] = "nut-hook"
    third[39] = "pigeon-egg"
    third[40] = "pignut"
    third[41] = "puttock"
    third[42] = "pumpion"
    third[43] = "ratsbane"
    third[44] = "scut"
    third[45] = "skainsmate"
    third[46] = "strumpet"
    third[47] = "varlet"
    third[48] = "vassal"
    third[49] = "whey-face"
    third[50] = "wagtail"
    var thirdtext = third[trand]
    </SCRIPT>

</head>
 <body bgcolor="#000000">

<font color="#0000FF">Random (Bard) Using JavaScript</font><br><br>

<font color="#FFFF00">"
   <script language="JavaScript">document.write(titletext)</script>
    , thou art nought but a
   <script language="JavaScript">document.write(firsttext)</script>
   <script language="JavaScript">document.write(secondtext)</script>
   <script language="JavaScript">document.write(thirdtext)</script>
   "<br><br>
   </font>
   <font color="#00aa00"> (William Shakespeare).</font><br>
  </body>
  </html>

Quick Display of Bard C Source
(some browsers may remove html tags)

/* (the immortal) bard */

#include <stdio.h>
#include <time.h>
#include <stdlib.h>

char *title[] =
{
  "Sire","Knave","Sir","Squire","My Liege","Your Majesty","Fop",
  "Woman","Old Man","Lord","Peasant","Serf","Get thee gone","Fie",
  "Begone","From thy visage I presume","I faith, nuncle","Tis said that",
  "Tis plain to mine eye","Fool","Marry, I faith",""
};

char *first[] =
{
  "artless","bawdy","beslubbering","bootless","churlish",
  "cockered","clouted","craven","currish","dankish","dissembling",
  "droning","errant","fawning","fobbing","froward","frothy","gleeking",
  "goatish","gorbellied","impertinent","infectious","jarring",
  "loggerheaded","lumpish","mammering","mangled","mewling","paunchy",
  "pribbling","puking","puny","quailing","rank","reeky","roguish","ruttish",
  "saucy","spleeny","spongy","surly","tottering","unmuzzled","vain",
  "venomed","villainous","warped","wayward","weedy","yeasty",""
};

char *second[] =
{
  "base-court","bat-fowling","beef-witted","beetle-headed",
  "boil-brained","clapper-clawed","clay-brained","common-kissing",
  "crook-pated","dismal-dreaming","dizzy-eyed","doghearted",
  "dread-bolted","earth-vexing","elf-skinned","fat-kidneyed",
  "fen-sucked","flap-mouthed","fly-bitten","folly-fallen","fool-born",
  "full-gorged","guts-griping","half-faced","hasty-witted","hedge-born",
  "hell-hated","idle-headed","ill-breeding","ill-nurtured","knotty-pated",
  "milk-livered","motley-minded","onion-eyed","plume-plucked","pottle-deep",
  "pox-marked","reeling-ripe","rough-hewn","rude-growing","rump-fed",
  "shard-borne","sheep-biting","spur-galled","swag-bellied","tardy-gaited",
  "tickle-brained","toad-spotted","urchin-snouted","weather-bitten",""
};

char *third[] =
{
  "apple-john","baggage","barnacle","bladder","boar-pig",
  "bugbear","bum-bailey","canker-blossom","clack-dish","clotpole",
  "coxcomb","codpiece","death-token","dewberry","flap-dragon",
  "flax-wench","flirt-gill","foot-licker","fustilarian","giglet",
  "gudgeon","haggard","harpy","hedge-pig","horn-beast","hugger-mugger",
  "jolthead","lewdster","lout","maggot-pie","malt-worm","mammet","measle",
  "minnow","miscreant","moldwarp","mumble-news","nut-hook","pigeon-egg",
  "pignut","puttock","pumpion","ratsbane","scut","skainsmate","strumpet",
  "varlet","vassal","whey-face","wagtail",""
};

void main()
{
  int titlelen = 0,firstlen = 0,secondlen = 0,thirdlen = 0;
  int titlernd, firstrnd, secondrnd, thirdrnd;
  char vowel[2];
  char x;

srand(time(NULL));

while (title[titlelen][0] != '\0')
    titlelen++;
  titlernd = (int)rand() % titlelen;

while (first[firstlen][0] != '\0')
    firstlen++;
  firstrnd = (int)rand() % firstlen;

while (second[secondlen][0] != '\0')
    secondlen++;
  secondrnd = (int)rand() % secondlen;

while (third[thirdlen][0] != '\0')
    thirdlen++;
  thirdrnd = (int)rand() % thirdlen;

strcpy(vowel,"");
  x = first[firstrnd][0];
  if (x=='a'||x=='e'||x=='i'||x=='o'||x=='u')
    strcpy(vowel,"n");

printf("\n"
         "\"%s, thou art nought but a%s %s,\n"
         "    %s %s.\"\n\n"
         "       (William Shakespeare).\n\n",
         title[titlernd],vowel,
         first[firstrnd],second[secondrnd],third[thirdrnd]);
  exit(0);
}

by Mark Weller 2000