/* Quote File Auto Converted to Arexx by Zonkerz */
xx=random(1,101,time('s'))
select
when xx=1 then a="1 I have to floss my cat."
when xx=2 then a="2 I've dedicated my life to linguini."
when xx=3 then a="3 I want to spend more time with my blender."
when xx=4 then a="4 The President said he might drop in."
when xx=5 then a="5 The man on television told me to say tuned."
when xx=6 then a="6 I've been scheduled for a karma transplant."
when xx=7 then a="7 I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture."
when xx=8 then a="8 It's my parakeet's bowling night."
when xx=9 then a="9 It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People."
when xx=10 then a="10 I'm building a pig from a kit."
when xx=11 then a="11 I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it."
when xx=12 then a="12 I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy."
when xx=13 then a="13 There's a disturbance in the Force."
when xx=14 then a="14 I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling."
when xx=15 then a="15 I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted."
when xx=16 then a="16 I'm teaching my ferret to yodel."
when xx=17 then a="17 I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products."
when xx=18 then a="18 I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawl."
when xx=19 then a="19 I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves."
when xx=20 then a="20 My crayons all melted together."
when xx=21 then a="21 I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes."
when xx=22 then a="22 I'm in training to be a household pest."
when xx=23 then a="23 I'm getting my overalls overhauled."
when xx=24 then a="24 My patent is pending."
when xx=25 then a="25 I'm attending the opening of my garage door."
when xx=26 then a="26 I'm sandblasting my oven."
when xx=27 then a="27 I'm worried about my vertical hold."
when xx=28 then a="28 I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise."
when xx=29 then a="29 I'm being deported."
when xx=30 then a="30 The grunion are running."
when xx=31 then a="31 I'll be looking for a parking space."
when xx=32 then a="32 My Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then."
when xx=33 then a="33 The monsters haven't turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots."
when xx=34 then a="34 I'm taking punk totem pole carving."
when xx=35 then a="35 I have to fluff my shower cap."
when xx=36 then a="36 I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian."
when xx=37 then a="37 I've come down with a really horrible case of something or other."
when xx=38 then a="38 I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist."
when xx=39 then a="39 My plot to take over the world is thickening."
when xx=40 then a="40 I have to fulfill my potential."
when xx=41 then a="41 I don't want to leave my comfort zone."
when xx=42 then a="42 It's too close to the turn of the century."
when xx=43 then a="43 I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary."
when xx=44 then a="44 My subconscious says no."
when xx=45 then a="45 I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store."
when xx=46 then a="46 I left my body in my other clothes."
when xx=47 then a="47 The last time I went, I never came back."
when xx=48 then a="48 I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting."
when xx=49 then a="49 I have to answer all of my 'occupant' letters."
when xx=50 then a="50 None of my socks match."
when xx=51 then a="51 I have to be on the next train to Bermuda."
when xx=52 then a="52 I'm having all my plants neutered."
when xx=53 then a="53 People are blaming me for the Spanish-American War."
when xx=54 then a="54 I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out."
when xx=55 then a="55 I'm making a home movie called 'The Thing That Grew in My Refrigerator.'"
when xx=56 then a="56 I'm attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer."
when xx=57 then a="57 My yucca plant is feeling yucky."
when xx=58 then a="58 I'm touring China with a wok band."
when xx=59 then a="59 My chocolate-appreciation class meets that night."
when xx=60 then a="60 I never go out on days that end in 'Y.'"
when xx=61 then a="61 My mother would never let me hear the end of it."
when xx=62 then a="62 I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named Basil Metabolism."
when xx=63 then a="63 I just picked up a book called 'Glue in Many Lands' and I can't put it down."
when xx=64 then a="64 I'm too old/young for that stuff."
when xx=65 then a="65 I have to wash/condition/perm/curl/tease/torment my hair."
when xx=66 then a="66 I have too much guilt."
when xx=67 then a="67 There are important world issues that need worrying about."
when xx=68 then a="68 I have to draw 'Cubby' for an art scholarship."
when xx=69 then a="69 I'm uncomfortable when I'm alone or with others."
when xx=70 then a="70 I promised to help a friend fold road maps."
when xx=71 then a="71 I feel a song coming on."
when xx=72 then a="72 I'm trying to be less popular."
when xx=73 then a="73 My bathroom tiles need grouting."
when xx=74 then a="74 I have to bleach my hare."
when xx=75 then a="75 I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner."
when xx=76 then a="76 I'm writing a love letter to Richard Simmons."
when xx=77 then a="77 You know how we psychos are."
when xx=78 then a="78 My favorite commercial is on TV."
when xx=79 then a="79 I have to study for a blood test."
when xx=80 then a="80 I'm going to be old someday."
when xx=81 then a="81 I've been traded to Cincinnati."
when xx=82 then a="82 I'm observing National Apathy Week."
when xx=83 then a="83 I have to rotate my crops."
when xx=84 then a="84 My uncle escaped again."
when xx=85 then a="85 I'm up to my elbows in waxy buildup."
when xx=86 then a="86 I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar."
when xx=87 then a="87 I'm having my baby shoes bronzed."
when xx=88 then a="88 I have to go to court for kitty littering."
when xx=89 then a="89 I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush."
when xx=90 then a="90 I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner."
when xx=91 then a="91 Having fun gives me prickly heat."
when xx=92 then a="92 I'm going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me."
when xx=93 then a="93 I have to jog my memory."
when xx=94 then a="94 My palm reader advised against it."
when xx=95 then a="95 Dress For Obscurity class meets then."
when xx=96 then a="96 I have to stay home and see if I snore."
when xx=97 then a="97 I prefer to remain an enigma."
when xx=98 then a="98 I think you want the OTHER [your name]."
when xx=99 then a="99 I have to sit up with a sick ant."
when xx=100 then a="100 I'm trying to cut down."
when xx=101 then a="101 ... well, maybe."
end
'say 10 Lame Excuses:8' A
exit