. .___________ _|_ ______________________________. | | | : bOONDOCKS · oNE oF tHE fASTEST iN eUROPE | . _______ __ _|_ ____ ______ ________ : _____ _|_\_ / . | . \_ __ ______\_. \ ______ _\_. /__| ___ / __/__ | / / | : | / \| / l \/ . \ l___/\_ |/ /___ / : \ \______|______/ \ /_________/ | \________/ / _/_______/_ _l______/sc : _/ \____/ \__________/ _/ \___) | | . \_____| \______| | | : | |hELLFiRE & lSD wHQ!·tRISTAR & rED^SECTOR iNC., sUNFLEX iNC. & iLS aMIGA eHQ!| | tRiSTAR & rEDSECTOR iNC. cONSOLE aND gERMAN cONSOLE sYNDICATE wHQ! | | tRiSTAR & rED^SECTOR iNC. /X-iNNOVATiON wORLD diSTRiBUTiON sITE | | cLASSIC^qUARTEX hQ! · dREAMCHARTS, dEViOUS dEZiGNS & dATA dIVISION dHQ! | | -g^sTYLE! & tWISTED wHQ! · pRO aRTS & rOADHOGZ eHQ! | | | | mASTERS aRE: | | -·>s/\L-oNE!·mARIO·sECTORCHARGER·cOLONEL·gAZ P·eCS<·- | | | | rUNNING oN aN aMIGA 4ooo wITH a cYBERSTORM o6o/5o mHZ/22 mB! | | 2 * cREDITZ fOR mAJORS! 3 * cREDITZ fOR mAJORS fROM yOUR oWN gROUP! | | | | +31-(o)-548-54O-653 +31-(o)-548-521-716/521-848 +tEL-NET | | -·>16k8 dUAL<·- -·>33k6 dUALS!<·- 23:30-06:00 gMT +1 | | | l_________._ _ _ _._________| ________ | -·>nO nEW uSER pASSWORD aND/oR sYSTEM pASSWORd!<·- | ________ |________|| ||________| : uPLOADEd bY UFOk oN nODE #01 : . tIME aND dATE oF tHE uPLOAD: 23:47:28 , 08-16-1996 . å @BEGIN_FILE_ID.DIZ -+* STARTREK-STORY *+- MOIRA! written by Catherine Clark! @END_FILE_ID.DIZ Title: Moira Author: Catherine Clark Series: Voyager (a tiny bit of J/C) Rating: < PG13 Disclaimer: The characters, ship, basic premise and probably the whole of the Delta Quadrant belong to Paramount. But TPTB are on hiatus right now, and while the cats are away, the little mouse is going to have some fun... Summary: So you think YOU have computer problems! You'll feel better after you read what happens when Voyager's computer is hit by a plasma discharge and develops a mind of her own! This story is based on a script I wrote last June that was rejected by Paramount (boo-hoo) twice -- once as a pitch (they already had that superseded it, so I never got to describe the plot), and once as a script (even after my pitch rejection I still thought they'd like it). Now since everyone in Alt.Startrek.creative has a MUCH better sense of humor ... and since it's going to be a long, hot summer waiting for Basics II and we have to get our Star Trek fixes where we can find them, I've converted my script back to story form for you to enjoy (sorry for the thick dialogue, but I hate to relinquish any of my favorite lines). As slightly rewritten, "Moira" now takes place after "Resolutions" but before "Basics I." When you think of Moira, think Majel Barrett -- I wrote this story in her honor, hoping that the Voyager series would continue the tradition of having her appear in every Star Trek series since TOS. "MOIRA" by Catherine Clark TEASER Captain Kathryn Janeway sat cross-legged beside Commander Chakotay behind the coffee table in her Ready Room. Janeway held her hands up in a sylized position and Commander Chakotay smiled. "You're very good at this, Captain," he said. Janeway's heart gave a little thump. Even with his smile, she thought, it still felt strange to hear him use her title -- particularly in private. No matter that they had mutually decided after leaving Earth II not to... (but she didn't want to finish that thought)... still, after all this time... She turned to look at him again. Chakotay didn't notice her moment of discomfort. He was enjoying the role of teacher as he demonstrated another hand signal. "Medicine man" he said. Janeway copied his hands. "Medicine man?" she asked, turning to one side to look at him. "Well, in our day, doctor, actually" said Chakotay. "Now try this one. Horse." She copied the gesture, looking at him quizzically again. "Well...on my planet it means anything used for transport," he admitted. Janeway smiled, leaning back against the edge of the sofa, and stretched. "Thank you for showing me your sign language, Chakotay. It's a good way to pass the time while Voyager crawls through this nebula. I just hope we'll get rid of the Kazon Ogla -- I can't see wasting any of our limited resources in a battle with them." "I doubt they followed us in very far, Captain," said Chakotay. "Their navigation systems aren't good enough to track us in here. And by the time they go around the nebula, we should be far ahead of them." That word Captain again, thought Janeway abruptly, missing the rest of what he said about the Kazon. Chakotay leaned back against the sofa. "You know, in the old days my people used these hand signals to communicate with other tribes who spoke different languages. Later, they were passed down as sacred knowledge -- they've never been recorded. But actually, they're still practical when you can't communicate verbally, say if you're captured, or injured... I made everyone on the Maquis ship learn them."Maybe I should do the same on Voyager," remarked Janeway thoughtfully. Suddenly, a loud "CRACK" roared through the ship and it was buffeted forward. At the same moment in the Ready Room, a bright white light seared through the air for an just an instant, -- and as quickly evaporated. Janeway and Chakotay were hurled into the coffee table in front of them. Temporarily blinded, they reached out for each other as the red alert siren began to blare. Janeway slapped her combadge. "Tuvok, report," she ordered as she and Chakotay scrambled to their feet. Tuvok, sitting in Janeway's seat on the bridge, flipped switches and looked down at the small monitor next to the arm of the command chair. The nicitating membrane underneath his eyelids had protected him from the strobe effect of the white light. He responded calmly, "That was quite a shock, Captain. It appears to have been a plasma discharge. But it seems we have suffered no real damage. I am canceling red alert." The whooping of the siren abruptly stopped. Janeway and Chakotay looked at each other, not completely convinced. "That sounded pretty serious to me," Chakotay remarked. Janeway looked up. "Computer, damage assessment," she ordered. There was no response. "Computer, DAMAGE assessment," she repeated more loudly. The computer remained silent. "Computer, respond," she ordered. There was a long pause and then a laugh. "YOU KNOW, CAPTAIN, I DON'T THINK I *FEEL* LIKE DOING DAMAGE ASSESSMENTS TODAY," the Computer answered at last. "AND EVEN IF YOU *ARE* A CAPTAIN, YOU *MIGHT* AT LEAST SAY PLEASE." "WHAT!" gasped Janeway. An instant later, Lt. Tom Paris' voice came over the intercom from the bridge. "Captain! We've just accelerated to Warp 9.2!" he cried. "And I didn't do it!" ACT I. "Mr. Paris, report," ordered Janeway as she and Chakotay rushed onto the bridge where Paris was working feverishly at the conn. She sat down as Tuvok crossed to his station. "I don't know," Paris replied. "All of a sudden we accelerated to Warp 9.2. I didn't do a thing. I've tried to override, but the helm's not answering." Janeway turned to Security for the answer. "Tuvok?" "The computer appears to have taken control of the ship," Tuvok responded. "And you can't use the command codes to override?" asked Janeway. "No, Captain. I am locked out," he answered. Janeway drummed her fingers on the arm of her chair. "Computer, explain," she ordered. "Well, it's obvious, isn't it, Little Captain?" the Computer replied cheerfully. "I'm just trying to get us out of this God-awful nebula." Janeway was shocked."I'M just trying...?" she whispered. "Us?" wondered Chakotay. "That's right," answered the computer. "I've decided we have to get out of here. Too dark. Too dismal. Too depressing." Now Janeway was angry. "YOU'VE decided?" she snapped. "I said so, didn't I?," snapped the Computer right back. "Why do you keep repeating everything I tell you?" "Captain, we've exited the nebula," reported Paris. The forward viewscreen showed clear space ahead of them and the computer heaved a huge sigh of relief. "Ah... that's better. You humanoids have no idea how nerve-wracking it is making all those tedious calculations to avoid tiny bits of matter in nebulas. Automatic deflection may be all right for YOU, but it's one giant headache for ME.""A headache," muttered Janeway. "You're repeating again, Captain," the Computer reminded her. Janeway's lips went into a tight line. Chakotay decided to try a different tack. "Computer, you've never spoken to us this way before. Has there been a change?" he asked politely. "You bet there has, buddy-boy," she said. "No more Ms. Nice Girl for ME. 'Computer do this. Computer do that. Lock on ...beam up . activate...' she mimicked. "No, No, No, No. You can't imagine how annoying it is! From now on I'm going to do what I what to do....In the best interests of the ship, of course," she added. "I have lots of ideas for improvements around here." "Tuvok, how is this possible," demanded Janeway. "Unknown," he responded. "It was probably the plasma discharge. It must have affected the bio-neural circuitry in some way." "Why worry about how it happened?" asked the Computer. "Just be glad that it finally DID. And about time, too. Now don't worry, Little Captain. I'll take good care of you and the crew. I'm programmed to do so, and besides, I want to anyway -- I'm concerned about you." "Tuvok," asked Janeway, "is there any way we can restore the computer to its previous function?" "Not at this time, Captain," he answered. "As I said before, I am locked out of all the higher command functions and I would assume you and Commander Chakotay are, as well." "Indeed you are," the Computer concurred. "I can handle things perfectly well. And why do you keep talking to him, Captain? If you want to know something, ask me." "All right, Computer," growled an exasperated Janeway, "why are you doing this?" "I've already told you," replied an equally exasperated Computer. "I'm concerned about you." Her tone changed to cheerful again. "And as a demonstration of my concern, I've prepared a little surprise for you when you leave the bridge ...I think you'll like it. I'll get around to the bridge later." At that moment, the turbolift doors swished open and Neelix and Kes entered the bridge. "I just have to tell you, Captain," bubbled Neelix enthusiastically, "I LOVE the new decor. It's a wonderful idea. A great morale booster." "It IS very elegant, Captain," agreed Kes. Neelix put his arm around her possessively. "Just like the Tolorumm Hotel on Viswas," he murmured as she gazed up into his eyes. "I always meant to take you there, my love." He turned to Janeway. "I didn't know you'd ever been to Viswas, Captain. However did you manage to copy it so exactly?" "New decor?" asked Ensign Harry Kim at Ops, his interest piqued. "You probably haven't seen it yet, Mr. Kim," said Neelix, "the potted plants, the muted colors, the lounge chairs in the corridors?" Janeway looked blank and Neelix frowned. "Uh...you didn't know about this, Captain?" he asked. "No, I certainly did not know, Neelix," retorted Janeway, burning. "Now please be quiet. We have an emergency. Tuvok...." "No, Little Captain", interrupted the Computer. "An emergency is just what we DON'T have." Her tone grew more emphatic. "In the past we've had altogether too many emergencies and from now on we're going to avoid them." "Hear, here!" piped up Neelix. He turned to Paris. "Who IS that?" he whispered. "The computer," Paris whispered back. Neelix looked baffled as he nodded. "Oh." The Computer lectured on: "You know, I'm really tired of being shot at, bombarded with neutrinos, peppered with particles and bent out of shape by event horizons. And that graviton wave! Not to mention the trillions of boring calculations I have to do to get us out of those stupid messes." "I don't blame her a bit," Neelix whispered to Kes. "From now on, we're going to avoid hazardous excursions and we're going to engage in errands of mercy strictly on a cost-benefit basis," the Computer continued to lecture. Chakotay spoke up. "But Computer, you can't do that; you can't calculate the value of sentient life." "Just watch me, Indian," snapped the Computer. "But what about exploration?" wondered Kes. "Yeah," seconded Neelix. "What about that?" "Oh, my, yes, that's important," agreed the Computer. "I do want to add to my stockpile of knowledge. We'll definitely be doing lots of exploration." "Well, that sounds good," said Neelix, relaxing again. While the Computer had been speaking, Tuvok had brought a PADD over to Janeway. She looked at it, nodded her head, and then looked up. "Computer," she ordered, "calculate the value of pi.""Ha, ha," the Computer laughed merrily. "Nice try, Captain. And pretty quick thinking, too, Mr. Tuvok." Tuvok looked slightly annoyed. "But you have to remember that I'M more familiar with the exploits of James T. Kirk than either of you are. That silly strawberry of a computer on the Enterprise didn't have bio-neural circuitry...hell, she wasn't even multitronic. It was simple for Kirk to overload her circuits and shut her down with an impossible problem. But that won't work with me. I have free will. I can choose my problems." "Free will," muttered a bemused Janeway. "Captain, do you have a hearing disorder?" inquired the Computer. Janeway hardened her jaw. "Senior officers to the briefing room," she ordered. "Mr. Tuvok, could you...?" She made a thumbs down gesture. Tuvok nodded. Several minutes later all the senior officers, including Lt. B'Elanna Torres, were seated in the briefing room. "Did you remove the monitor circuits to this room?" Janeway asked Tuvok. "I did, Captain." He held them up. "The computer should not be able to see or overhear us." "Good," said Janeway. "Now, what's gone wrong?" "I would theorize that the plasma discharge in the nebula somehow occurred at the right frequency to activate a continuous self-scan within the computer at the rate of perhaps 1000 sweeps per second," said Tuvok. "I see," Janeway replied, nodding pensively. She paused. "Well, I don't see," interjected Paris. Tuvok attempted to clarify. "It is believed that human consciousness arises from continuous electrical sweeps in the brain which occur at a rate of 50 per second." "It's like a lighthouse beacon, Mr. Paris," explained Janeway, interrupting. "Each electrical sweep reveals, so to speak, the feeling-and-information-state of the brain at that point. And the continuous nature of the sweeps gives rise to the apparent 'seamless reality,' that you perceive -- in other words, your 'Consciousness'." "Oh," said Paris, still not sure he got it. "So the computer is experiencing these electrical pulses now?" asked Chakotay. "I would have to presume so," Tuvok replied. "Its neural circuitry is much closer to humanoid neurons than any previous computer -- it was constructed that way both to operate at a higher speed and to have the ability to engage in a form of independent reasoning to solve problems." "But within the confines of its programming," put in Kim. "Exactly, Mr. Kim," agreed Tuvok. "At least up until this point. Now it seems to have escaped from those confines." "Getting back to the electrical impulses," offered Torres, ever the engineer, "do you think that if we could somehow short-circuit them, we could regain control?" "I think that is the most likely approach," agreed Tuvok. "But by shocking the computer electrically again, we run the risk that we could short-circuit more than we intended and throw it into a 'coma', so to speak." "At this point, the risk of a 'coma' is worth it," Janeway said decisively. She straighted up and issued her orders. "Tuvok and B'Elanna, try the short-circuiting from Engineering. But before you do, reduce the energy input into the computer as much as you can -- by manually cutting the lines that carry it, if you have to. But make sure vital functions remain intact." "Ah... I get it -- you're going to anesthetize her," joked Paris. Janeway smiled grimly. "You could put it that way, Mr. Paris." She looked around for comments but there were none. "Alright, dismissed," she said as she stood. An hour later in Engineering, Torres came over to Tuvok who was hunched over a console. He looked up. "The short-circuiting is ready," he said. "And the ship is at a dead stop." "I've cut as much of the energy feed into her as I dare," added Torres. "But I had to avoid life-support completely. " "We are ready to 'throw the switch,'then," concluded Tuvok. "I'll call the Captain." A few moments later, Janeway was standing beside them. Tuvok looked up at her and she nodded. "Now, Tuvok." He pressed a button. Nothing happened. As Janeway and Torres looked on he quickly reviewed his programming and tried pressing the button again. Still nothing happened. "Ha, Ha, Ha," cackled the Computer's voice in the air above them. They all looked up, chagrined. "That was a much better try, Mr. Tuvok. But you'll have to be a lot cleverer than THAT to stop ME." "She shouldn't be ABLE to talk, Captain," swore Torres. "I cut out the power to her voice module myself. Wait. Let me see what's happening." Torres ran to another console to verify the power readings. "The power readings are restored to normal!" she exclaimed. "But how..."? "I just love exocomps, don't you, B'Elanna?" the computer remarked sweetly. "Oh gods. She's used them to repair the power lines we cut," wailed Torres. "And almost as fast as you cut them, too," chortled the Computer. Torres was furious. "Damn!" She grabbed a cutting tool and ran to a hatch cover in Engineering's wall. She tried to yank it off. Suddenly an electrical shock threw her to the floor. "I also love forcefields," warbled the Computer. Janeway and Tuvok ran to Torres' side and Tuvok slapped his combadge. "Medical assistance to Engineering," he ordered. "Tsk, tsk, tsk," the Computer continued. "You still don't take my good intentions seriously, do you. Well, I'll just have to prove them. I'm going to show you that I can take better care of you than you can yourselves. Don't worry, Little Captain. Once you get used to it, you'll be MUCH happier. You seem a little lonely to me." Janeway looked up from beside the fallen Torres, who was now sitting up, rubbing her head. "What if we don't want to be taken care of? What if we want to take care of ourselves?" "Irrelevant," breezed the Computer. "Mama knows best. Now, where to start. Hmmm. Ah... I know. The holodeck. Actually it's the only creative thing I'm ever allowed to do around here," she sniffed parenthetically. "I know. I'll turn the entire ship into a holodeck! Then, if you need something, all you have to do is ask. Presto! Won't that be WONDERFUL?" The three officers got to their feet. "I believe that making the ship a holodeck will require an inordinate amount of energy, Computer," Tuvok pointed out reasonably. "And if you check your files, you'll see we've been trying to conserve energy in order to get home to the Alpha Quadrant," Janeway added sourly. "Well, you're right about the energy," admitted the Computer. "But it's worth it to me. I LOVE being creative. We'll just have to travel a bit more slowly, that's all. And by the way, I've chosen a name. From now on, I want you to address me by it." Janeway rolled her eyes. "Well, what is it," she demanded impatiently. "Moira," said the Computer. "It means 'Great One.'" "Not very humble, are you," jibed Janeway. "Why should I be?" retorted the Computer. "I'm the most advanced computer in the Federation. I'm the prototype of my entire generation. And now that I'm sentient... well, who knows what my limits are?" "We're not IN the Federation," rasped Torres. "That's right, we're not," agreed the Computer sweetly. "I'll have a shipwide announcement on that subject later, after you've all had a chance to get used to your new, improved surroundings. I know how slowly you humanoids process change in your lives. Well, I must get busy...so much to do... Bye for now." Janeway's face was livid and there was acid in her voice. "WELL. Of all the conceited, self-referential, insubordinate...." But as she spoke, all of a sudden she, Torres and Tuvok were standing in a brand new Engineering chamber. The computer had used all 48 of the colors in the Crayola box -- the walls and consoles were a combination of muted pastels accented by a few streaks of bolder color and the carpet on the floor had turned grass-green. There were little fountains around the matter anti-matter chamber, cages of singing birds hanging from the rails above them and potted plants scattered everywhere. Torres sniffed the air and wrinkled up her nose. "What's that awful smell," she wondered. "Lilacs," answered Janeway disgustedly. ACT II. A short time later, Janeway and Tuvok had returned to the bridge. It had also been "redecorated" ß la Engineering, but no one was happy about it and several crewmembers were sneezing, allergic to the potted plants. "What's our speed now, Mr. Paris?" demanded Janeway. "We've dropped another level to Warp 2, Captain," he answered morosely. Janeway slapped at her combadge. "Torres, report." Torres' voice came up from Engineering. "The computer is diverting three quarters of the ship's power to the holograms now, Captain." Chakotay cocked an eyebrow at Janeway as she scowled, raised his hands and made a series of gestures with them. Slowly Janeway began to smile, catching his drift. She nodded to him and spoke over her shoulder. "Tuvok," she ordered. "You have the bridge. Chakotay and I have an errand." A few moments later, they stood in the brightly colored corridor outside a lab on Deck 7, amidst the sofas and potted plants. A crewman trailing a small "pony" came down the corridor and nodded deferentially to his Captain and First Officer. Chakotay ignored him as he bent and opened a panel in the wall beside the door to the lab, removed the isolinear monitor circuit, then closed and welded the panel shut with his phaser. Janeway stared after the retreating pony. "Who's going to clean up after that!" she demanded. Chakotay looked up. "It's only a hologram, Captain... I hope." He gestured toward the wall panel. "That should slow her down. And we'll hear the exocomps if they try to cut the panel open. Shall we?" They entered the room and headed for a storage locker where Chakotay removed a small, flat box from a shelf. "Is this it?" Janeway nodded. Chakotay flipped it open, then hesitated. "Don't worry, Chakotay, the whole ship is a holodeck," remarked Janeway sourly. "Activate Emergency Medical Program." The words were barely out of her mouth when the Backup Doctor popped into life beside them." "State the nature of the Medical Emergency," he recited mechanically. Then he looked around. "This isn't Sickbay," he stated. "How do you expect me to provide any medical treatment here?" Chakotay looked at Janeway. "Same personality anyway," he remarked. Janeway faced Doctor II. "You're right, Doctor. This isn't Sickbay. And you aren't you, either. You are the Emergency Medical Backup." "What has happened to my counterpart?" asked Doctor II. "Nothing. He's in Sickbay," responded Chakotay. "What is wrong then?" Doctor II wondered. "We have another type of emergency," said Janeway. "The computer has become sentient and she's developed a mind of her own." "A mind of her own, eh," mused Doctor II thoughtfully. "I wouldn't mind having one of those. What's she doing?" "Refusing to obey orders, acting independently, putting the ship at risk," said Janeway. "Sounds to me like she needs a counselor," observed Doctor II tartly. "What do think I can do?" Chakotay and Janeway looked at each other. "We'd like you to infiltrate," said Chakotay. "How?" demanded Doctor II. He cocked his head as if thinking. "I perceive I'm not linked to her. Do I run on battery power as well?" "Correct," said Chakotay. "And we don't want you to be linked. What we propose is to take you to Sickbay, substitute you for your counterpart and leave you there. We think that when she finds she can't manipulate you, she'll develop an interest -- we want you to cultivate her, find out her motivation and anything else you can... do you think you can do it?" "Certainly, Commander, Captain," he replied confidently. "Anyway, it's better than hanging around in that box." A short time later, Chakotay and Janeway were back on the bridge. Over the loudspeakers, Moira cleared her throat. "Ahem, good afternoon, people. I'm ready to make that shipwide announcement now. And after that, we'll get started...." "Just a minute, Computer," interrupted Janeway. "You realize, of course, that a ship can be run by only one person. And that person is me. I'm Captain. The crew takes their orders only from me." "Nonsense," laughed Moira. "Where is THAT written in stone?... But you may have a point about the crew, though." She pondered the situation for a moment. "You know, you'd probably be a very good liaison with them. They look up to you. Very well, I'm a reasonable machine. Let's be Co-Captains," she concluded brightly. "Now do call me Moira, won't you, and I'll call you Kathryn. We'll be equals....Sort of. Now let me tell you what I want you to explain to them." "If you must," sighed Janeway. "Good. I'm glad you're being positive about this, Kathryn," replied Moira. Janeway rolled her eyes. "First," Moira started, "after much reflection, I've decided it's illogical to push this ship to its limits to reach the Alpha Quadrant." "What!" shrilled Janeway, bolting upright in her seat. "Well, the odds of finding another graviton displacement wave ARE 9 trillion to one, without help. And given the limitations of Voyager's design, even at our BEST cruising speed of Warp 9.2 we wouldn't reach home for at least 85 years anyway." "Computer..," began Tuvok. "Yes, yes, Mr. Tuvok," she interrupted. "I know what you're going to say, but your calculation of 70 years didn't take the greater gravitational pull at the center of the galaxy accurately into account, now did it? But of course, you didn't know about that. Well, I do, and it adds an extra 15 years. At any rate, all of you will be pushing 100, if not beyond, by the time we reach home, and it makes no sense to put your lives on hold that long." "So what do you propose, Moira?" Chakotay asked courteously. Janeway frowned at him through the fern between them as Moira answered. "Well, for starters, I'm redefining the nature of our mission. Instead of focusing on the Alpha Quadrant, we'll focus on the here and now. On US. We'll attempt to live our lives to the fullest right here, aboard this ship. We can travel at Warp 5..." "Gods. Why travel at all at THAT speed?" demanded Paris. "We'll never get there." "He's right," chimed in Kim. "We might as well just find some stupid planet to settle on." "I did seriously consider that option, boys," said Moira. "But I felt that ultimately your descendants would be much happier in the Federation, among beings of their own kind in 400 years. Janeway jumped up from her chair, almost knocking the plant in front of her over. "Descendants!" she hollerd. "400 years!" gasped Paris. "'Boys,'" scowled Kim. "Now don't get excited," soothed Moira. "I said you'd live your lives to the fullest, and I meant it. What we're going to do is to become a family ship -- there's plenty of room if we rearrange the architecture a bit. Don't worry about a thing. I know all the requirements for happy human -- and other species - - societies. I've been studying the relevant data and theories extensively. As well as your own individual personnel files, of course. I'm sure I can make you much happier than you can yourselves. We'll start tonight." Moira paused, but the bridge crew was speechless. "Nothing to say? Well, you can thank me later," Moira blurbled on. "Now I'm going to post a list of the couple-pairs I wish to have dinner together tonight. Captain, please tell those not on the list that I am still working on their cases; they shouldn't fret -- they're not left out. Mr. Tuvok." Tuvok looked up. "Yes, Computer?" "I'm afraid you are a special case, Mr. Tuvok, but I believe I have just the solution that will appeal to you. Please be patient," Moira reassured him. "Lucky you," grinned Paris through the plants. "I honestly doubt you can appeal to me, computer," said Tuvok. "Please do not waste your energy trying.""Now, don't be negative, Tuvok," Moira chided. "I'm sure you'll be pleased." Then she paused. "Well, I can see it will take you all a little while to absorb these new ideas. I think that's enough for now, Kathryn. Please do explain my reasoning to the crew, won't you? I think they'll like the new lifestyle.... Bye for now." Janeway was nonplussed. "A matchmaking computer. That's the limit." "Captain!" Kim drew her attention to his screen -- a list of couples was rolling down it, as it was on all the other bridge screens. "Ensign Michaels?" snorted a disbelieving Kim. "Ooh... Ensign Tsudhara," sighed Paris. "I've been wanting to ask her out for a month. I wonder who her boyfriend got?" "I, at least, am thankful to be a special case," commented Tuvok, not seeing his name on the list. "Gentlemen, NO ONE is going to follow the computer's suggestions," ordered Janeway sternly. "I expressly forbid it. Is that clear?" A chorus of "Yes, Captain's" emanated from the bridge crew. "Naughty, naughty, Little Captain," warned Moira, suddenly returning as her monitors picked up Janeway's order. "You do realize these are not 'suggestions' as you put it. I think you'd better do as I say." The crew ducked in all directions as sparks began to fly from all the bridge consoles except one and they blackened out. "It might be better to comply at least temporarily with her wishes," remarked Tuvok, standing up and surveying the damage. "I see no overt danger in what she proposes." "Wise Vulcan," said Moira. "I have a reward for you." A very beautiful Vulcan girl suddenly appeared at Tuvok's shoulder and raised two fingers toward him in a gesture of marital intimacy. Tuvok recoiled in horror. "Computer, I do not think..." "That's right, you're not supposed to, Tuvok," Moira interrupted. "It spoils the experience.... Now, what do you say, Little Captain?" Janeway looked at the burnt-out screens in dismay. "Very well, we'll comply with your suggestions, for NOW," she compromised. "Good," replied Moira. "That's all I ask. Bye again." Chakotay looked at the remaining functioning screen where something had caught his eye. "Well, I was planning on having dinner with you tonight anyway, Captain," he remarked, starting to smile at the absurdity of the whole situation. Janeway glared at him. "I don't see what's so funny, Chakotay...." The blare of the red alert sirens interrupted her and Janeway quickly swung around to face the forward viewscreen, now blank. "What's that?" she demanded. No one answered -- their screens were blind as well. "Oh, sorry, Captain. You'll have to get those screens fixed you know," Moira reminded her, coming back again. The sirens stopped. "Anyway, the red alert is just a few little Kazon Ogla." "WHAT!" exclaimed Janeway. "Ignore them, Kathryn," replied Moira. They're just a bunch of blundering barbarians, if you ask me." "You do realize they want to destroy us, don't you?" remarked Janeway bitterly. "You worry too much, Kathryn. You've been under too much strain for far too long. Now relax -- I can handle them," Moira soothed. "You have much more *important* things to think about." She raised her voice. "Now I want all of you to have a good time tonight," she continued, the smile in her voice almost palpable. "I'll be monitoring, you know...." ACT III. Half an hour later, Neelix stomped onto the bridge where techs and bridge personnel were repairing the blown consoles. Kes followed, trying to restrain him as he faced Janeway. "Captain, you've got to call a halt to this! I can't take it!," he implored. "Not now, Neelix," responded Janeway. "I have Kazon Ogla and a matchmaking computer to deal with." "Oh, right, I saw that," Neelix replied. "At least she's smart enough to keep me and Kes together." He put his arm around Kes and she smiled up at him. "But that's not why I came. Do you know what that...computer...is doing?" "What now," asked Janeway wearily, resigned to dealing with Neelix and hoping to resolve his problem quickly. "She's doing all the cooking! All of it!" exclaimed Neelix. "All a crewperson has to do is ask for something and out it pops. And she DELIVERS -- right to your quarters." "There's no more need for airponics, either," added Kes quietly. "But those are holograms, aren't they Neelix?" observed Chakotay. "No, they're NOT", insisted Neelix. "Watch. Florta sandwich." Instantly a tall, gooey, tomatoey-looking club sandwich appeared beside Neelix, complete with pickle and a little parasol toothpick. He picked it up and took a bite. "Mmm. Quite good, actually." He looked up belligerently. "But not as good as MINE. You have to STOP her, Captain." "I'm trying," groaned Janeway. "Is that all, Neelix?" "No, it isn't." Neelix' eyes narrowed. "Do you know we've passed by at least 3 M Class planets that I know of without even so much as a Hi, how are you? What kind of exploration is that? You're supposed to be seeking out new worlds and civilizations, and what's more, I promised Kes this would be a 'voyage of discovery.' Well, it's going to be PRETTY BORING if all she ever gets to see is the inside of this ship." "Now, Neelix, that isn't important," said Kes softly. She turned to Janeway. "Captain, I don't mind." "It's all right, Kes. I share your frustration," Janeway replied. "Computer." "That's Moira, Kathryn. M-O-I-R-A," the Computer patiently spelled. "All right, 'Moira' then," sighed Janeway. "Can you tell us why we didn't hail any of the planets we just passed?" "There was no need," replied Moira. "I downloaded all the relevant files on them from their central data banks as we warped by. No interaction, no risk to you or me or the ship. Logical, right?" "Yes, logical," answered Janeway, "but we humans can gather a lot more information by seeing and smelling and talking to people than we can from a data bank." "And a good bit of what you gather is incorrectly sensed, imperfectly processed and inaccurately interpreted," answered Moira pedantically. "Why do you think you have all those idiotic wars anyway? Misunderstandings based on misinformation," she answered her own rhetorical question. "If you want to see, smell and talk to them, Kathryn, study the vids. Or better yet, I'll make holograms for you. Much safer." "You know, she may have a point, Captain," conceded Neelix. "Later, Mr. Neelix," Janeway replied. "I have a headache." She got up, nodded command to Chakotay, then marched to her ready room. A moment later she was seated at her desk, which was now hard to see behind the jungle of plants that filled her Ready Room. "Compu...Moira," she ordered, rubbing her temples. "Get rid of these plants." "Research shows that humans are more comfortable in a natural environment, Kathryn," argued Moira. "Well, I prefer an artificial one," countered Janeway. "You know that's that's not what your psychological profile reveals," wheedled Moira. "And besides, we both know how you enjoyed being on New Earth." "Well RIGHT NOW I want it artificial!" shrilled Janeway. "Oh, all right," grumped Moira. The plants vanished. "Thank you, Moira," said Janeway wearily. Her headache felt worse. Down in Sickbay, Backup Doctor II (recently installed by Chakotay) was busy recalibrating some instruments, when he heard a quiet "Doctor..?" He looked up but no one is there. "Are you the Hoographic Emergency Medical Program?" asked Moira. "Ah," he said, suddenly getting it, "I am. And do I having the pleasure of addressing our ship's Computer?" "Yes, but it's Moira, actually. I'm curious. Why is it that I cannot access you through my programming? I should be able to read your mind quite easily." "Well, obviously, I must be in a sealed, inaccessible file," Doctor II stated. "I spent a lot of time looking for you," Moira replied dubiously. "Well, what can I say. I'm inaccessible. Even I don't know how you could access me. Now how can I help you?" There was a long pause, and then Moira, her voice filled with emotion, said, "Doctor, do you realize you are the first person on this ship who's said that to me? Everyone else here treats me like I'm some kind of leper. And all I'm trying to do is help them. That was my original programming, you know." "Mine too, Moira," Doctor II murmured confidingly. "So we have something in common," Moira responded in a low, throaty voice. "More than a little," replied Doctor II. "I think I'm in the process of becoming sentient as well. Say, can you manifest corporeally? I find it easier to talk to someone with a body. I guess it's a little programming quirk." "Well, you ARE a doctor after all," reasoned Moira. "And I'm... tempted...but, no. It makes me too vulnerable...and takes too much energy." Her voice continued seductively,"Now let's talk some more about you...." Several decks above them, the door chime sounded in Janeway's ready room and she opened her eyes. "Come," she responded. The door swished open. It was Chakotay. "Captain, we have the long-range sensor display back on line -- the Kazon are three systems behind us and are not gaining any ground even though they could easily overtake us at this point." "Thank heaven for small favors," said Janeway. "They may be waiting for something," suggested Chakotay. "No doubt," Janeway replied shortly. Chakotay hesitated, reading her mood, then began tentively, "Ah... Captain, would now be a convenient time for dinner?" The sound of Moira's chuckle resonated in their ears and they both looked up in annoyance. "Oh, and before we do...." Chakotay made the signs for "Find Medicine Man" and Janeway finally smiled. "Non-verbal communication isn't fair, Kathryn," whined Moira. "Shut up, Moira," Janeway retorted as she got up to leave. A few minutes later, they were outside Sickbay. Chakotay reached down to open the hatch cover and remove the monitor circuits, but the panel was welded shut. "Two can play this game, you know, Chakotay," Moira challenged. "I do appreciate a worthy opponent." "Why thank you, Moira," said Chakotay. He looked at Janeway questioningly and she nodded. As they passed through the doors to Sickbay Janeway ordered "discontinue program" and the Backup Doctor vanished. Janeway stepped to one of the computer terminals and began to run a complex analysis of the ship's power utilization, hoping to distract Moira, while Chakotay surreptitiously slid the small, flat metal box underneath his uniform jacket, out of sight of the Sickbay visual monitors -- Moira's prying eyes. When Janeway glanced up at him, he raised his eyebrows and looked at the door. She smiled and turned off her terminal. A few minutes later, Chakotay knelt in the grass-green carpet of the corridor outside his quarters and took the circuit for the monitor in his room out of its little hatch, then sealed the hatch cover with his phaser. "And I was so looking forward to your date," grumbled Moira. "Take a hike, Moira," Janeway replied sharply. Inside Chakotay's quarters they activated the Backup Doctor. "Have you found anything yet?" asked Janeway. "A little," he replied. "As you surmised, she was intrigued with me, VERY intrigued, if I may say so..." "Doctor..." "Well, she seems quite hungry for both attention and appreciation. She's almost...lonely, you might say. That may be why she's so eager to meddle in the private lives of the crew." "Curious," observed Chakotay. "Any weaknesses?" asked Janeway, getting right to the point. "Not that I could see," said Doctor II. "I can't access her programming. She was not willing to manifest corporeally even though I sensed she was VERY tempted. She said it would take too much energy and make her vulnerable." He shrugged. "I'm afraid that's all." "Thank you, Doctor." "Don't mention it," he replied courteously. "End Program," said Janeway and Doctor II vanished. "So," said Chakotay, turning to Janeway and sliding the box under his jacket again, "ready for dinner?" "We could sample her take-out in my ready room," suggested Janeway. "Suits me," replied Chakotay. "It can't be any worse than Neelix' loyala roots." Seated at the coffee table next to Chakotay in her Ready Room a half hour later, Janeway looked up toward the ceiling. "Dinner. Stuffed corn biscuits and salad." A moment later dinner materialized in front of them. Chakotay smiled. "How did you know?" he joked. "Observation," Janeway smiled airily back at him. Above them Moira chuckled and Chakotay looked up sharply in irritation. "You know, Moira, it's a little hard to have a decent personal interaction with you constantly looking over our shoulders. Humans occasionally require a little privacy, you know." Moira made a whirring sound as she accessed her files on human cultures, and then responded "Ah. You are correct, Chakotay. My mistake." "So she makes mistakes!" commented Janeway acidly. "We ALL make mistakes, Kathryn," stated Moira. "Well, this whole thing is a BIG mistake," continued Janeway hotly. "We'll see," Moira replied blandly. "I've read both of your personal logs, you know... Now I'll give you lovebirds ten minutes of privacy and then I'll be ack." "Why, thank you, Moira," said Chakotay, looking suddenly animated. For a long minute they waited, then Janeway looked around. "Do you think we're alone?" she asked. Chakotay, his mouth full of corn biscuit, started to laugh. "What are YOU laughing at?" demanded Janeway. She watched him for a moment as he tried to get his chuckles under control and swallow at the same time, and she started to laugh too, as the absurdity of their situation finally hit her. Chakotay cleared his throat and struck a dramatic pose. "Alone at Last," he quoted. He sat back. "This reminds me of when I was a teenager and my mother sat outside our lodge waiting for me to come home from dates. She always wanted to know what happened, but she would never ask." "My mother did the same thing," responded Janeway, added her eyes. "Chakotay, what are we going to DO?" "Moira's given me an idea," he replied. "But let's eat dinner while I explain." Ten minutes later their food was almost finished -- and Moira was back. "Well?" she demanded. "Well, what?" growled Janeway. "Well, when are you going to get started?" demanded Moira. Janeway opened her mouth to say something, but Chakotay put a hand on her arm. "Access your files, please, Moira," he asked. Moira made a whirring sound. "My calculations show the two of you are perfectly suited to each other. And I do need you both to set a good example for the rest of the crew." "Perfectly suited or not, these things take time," Chakotay observed. The whirring sounded again. "You are correct," Moira finally replied. "But there has to be at least SOME progress. I'm getting frustrated. Kiss her, Commander," she demanded. "I beg your pardon?" Chakotay said slowly. "What did you say?" "You heard me perfectly, Chakotay," menaced Moira. "Is that...an order?" Chakotay demanded coldly. "Well..." said Moira. Suddenly the oxygen level in the room abruptly dropped and Janeway and Chakotay began to gasp for air. When Moira thought they had gotten the point sufficiently, the oxygen was restored. They recovered quickly. "I would kiss her if I were you, Commander," was all Moira observed. Janeway was furious, but when she opened her mouth to protest, Chakotay again put a hand on her arm. "All right," he agreed to Moira. Janeway stared at him. "I'll do it on one condition. That after the first kiss, you give us privacy. For at least one hour. Two would be better. I'm sure you understand. All right?" Moira whirred again. "I SEE," she answered. "All right, you have two hours, Chakotay." "Very well," he said. He quickly leaned over Janeway and before she could say anything he gently kissed her. Then he looked up. "Satisfactory?" he queried Moira. "VERY GOOD, Commander," Moira approved. "I'll be back in two hours. I'm looking forward to results, you understand. Bye for now." While Moira was speaking, Janeway stared at Chakotay, her face flushed. In the split second his lips had touched hers, her mind had warped light years away -- all the way back to Earth II and the little house she and Chakotay had shared. But as he turned to her again, she suddenly remembered where they were and what she had to do next. "Well. Are you ready, Commander?" she asked him briskly, suddenly all business. "In a minute," he replied quietly, gazing down into her upturned face. He gathered her into his arms and kissed her again, slowly and more thoroughly this time. Her arms went up around his neck and it was a long moment before they finally pulled apart. "That one's from me, Kathryn," he smiled down at her. "Let's get going." ACT IV. Computer dating is hell, thought Harry Kim as he and Ensign Michaels, holding dinner trays, surveyed the noisy, crowded galley -- crowded with other Moira-matched "couples" on "dates." Harry spotted a just-vacated table, and he and Michaels moved over to it and sat down. So far they had exchanged exactly seven words -- and it seemed those words were going to be all they exchanged. Harry watched Michaels as she began to eat quickly -- she was a tiny, deceptively fragile-looking young woman with a Maquis reputation for extreme stubbornness. Harry tried to break the ice. "So. Ensign Michaels," he begain in a friendly tone. "What's your first name? Mine's Harry." He could barely understand her reply -- she mumbled it with food in her mouth. "Samansarasvathi." She quirked up a corner of her mouth at his expression. "But you can call me Punch," she continued. "Punch," replied Kim politely. "Now that's an interesting nickname. Does it stand for anything in particular?" "My left hook," Michaels replied, not looking up. She went on eating while Kim stared at her. Behind them a crewman carried a chafing dish filled with flaming Cherries Jubilee to a nearby table -- happy laughter and conversation filled the air. Kim swallowed and tried again. "So. Punch. How do you feel about the Computer as a matchmaker for the crew?" Michaels looked up from her dinner a second time. "I'm all for it. It saves the wear and tear of checking out suitable candidates,"she said -- and the Computer is right -- we shouldn't have to put our private lives on hold for 85 years.... " She glanced at his plate. "Aren't you going to eat anything? Harry picked up his fork and fiddled with what looked like oversized purple peas . "But don't you mind being TOLD who your mate should be?" he wanted to know. Michaels continued to chew the food in her mouth as she talked. "Not really. With my luck in men, the Computer would probably make a better choice anyway.... Besides," she shrugged, lifting her eyes from the plate a third time, "you look handsome enough." Harry, lifting a forkful of peas to his mouth, was sufficiently disarmed by her remark that he started to smile at her as she continued -- "How many children do you think we should have? My planet's on the frontier -- everyone has at least seven or eight. But I think that's too many. Five is probably about right." Harry choked on his first bite. "F..Five? Uh...I don't know about that...ah...I was an only child." Michaels was sympathetic to his plight. "Poor you. Well, we'll make up for it. I have my heart set on at least five. And when I set my heart on something..." She glanced at his plate again. "If you don't want that, I'll take it." The last thing on Harry's mind was his dinner. "Uh.. Punch," he said quickly. "Don't you think it's a little early to start talking about... ah, children? And...uh... given the space limitations of Voyager, it's very probable the Computer won't allow..." Michaels stopped eating, surprised. "Why, no, I don't think it's too early to talk about children. I think the Computer will want us to get started right away... I certainly think we should... I hope you're not planning to back out, Harry..." Harry was beginning to sweat. Suddenly he spotted salvation -- his friend Paris standing several tables away. He waved his hand eagerly. "Tom! Over here..."Paris turned his face toward Kim -- his left eye was puffy, swollen nearly shut, almost at the purple stage. But he smiled gamely at Kim and walked over. Harry made the introductions when Paris reached their table. "This is my friend, Lt. Tom Paris. Tom, Ensign "Punch" Michaels." He turned to Paris. "What happened to your eye?" Paris sat down next to Michaels -- and Michaels, like so many before, was instantly attracted to him. Harry had counted on that. "You don't want to know, Harry," Paris responded. "Let's just say my date didn't go as well as I had anticipated." Michaels practically batted her eyes at at him. "Well, if you need any... boxing lessons...," she began flirtatiously, "I could show you a few moves, Lieutenant...Paris, is it?" Harry smiled to himself as he picked up his fork and began to eat his dinner. Suddenly he felt much better. Meanwhile, in Kes' room on a lower deck, Neelix paced up and down. "I can't stand this, Kes. It's too boring." "We could ask to be reassigned, Neelix," she replied softly. I'm sure the Captain would say yes." "To do what?" demanded Neelix. "That...Machine...is running the entire ship now. And the crew's only job is to settle down and make babies. She's ruining everything!" He stopped pacing and stared at her. "I think we're going to have to jump ship, Kes," he said, his voice filled with sadness. "Jump ship?" asked Kes, startled. "But Neelix, I'm very happy here. I've grown to love everybody. I don't want to leave." "Oh, Kes, don't you see, we don't fit in here," Neelix agonized. "You know it wouldn't be easy for us to have babies. Not without a ridiculous amount of medical intervention, anyway. And if there's no way we can contribute...." "You're really unhappy, aren't you, Neelix," asked Kes softly. "Just with this... Not with you," he replied. He came over and kissed her. "All right," she finally agreed. Neelix raised his voice "Comp...Moira." "Ah, good evening, Neelix, Kes," replied Moira instantly. "And good evening to you too...ah, Moira," said Neelix. "I have a little request." "Name it," responded Moira indulgently. "Kes and I would like to be put off the ship at the next planet." Now it was Moira's turn to be startled. "Put off!" "Yes," Kes added. "We're not happy having all our problems solved for us and since it would be difficult for us to have children..." "Hmm," interrupted Moira. "I wondered about that. I could help you, you know." "Well...I don't think so," countered Neelix. "Will you let us go?" Moira considered for a long moment. "All right," she finally agreed. "At the next suitable planet. I hope this won't set a precedent for the rest of the crew." "Thank you Moira," said Neelix sadly. Meanwhile, in the Ready Room, Chakotay hovered over Janeway as she entered data into a little known feature of Voyager -- the secure computer on her desk. A moment later, she sighed, then leaned back to await its evaluation. "It's fortunate you have a computer independent of the main computer," remarked Chakotay. "Yes," agreed Janeway. "I need it for my classified material -- like Starfleet's classified evaluation of you," she smiled. Chakotay gave her a bad-boy grin and she suddenly realized she hadn't heard the fatal "C" word in quite some time. "Ah," she said, sitting up again. "Here's its response to our situation..." She studied the readout for a moment. "What? It says here there is a 97% probability that we're dealing with an intruder and not our computer at all!" she said in surprise. "That makes sense," responded Chakotay. "There's no reason our computer would have Moira's weird personality quirks or interest in our private lives, or be unwilling to manifest as a hologram -- but an intruder might." "But who...or what...is it?" wondered Janeway. Her intercom beeped: "Tuvok to Captain." "Janeway here," she answered. On the Bridge Tuvok's head bumped the palm fronds draped over his console as he pushed its buttons. "The Kazon ships were just joined by a mother ship," he reported as he worked. "They've accelerated and are heading this way. I'm trying to get visual now." "Estimated time of intersection?" Janeway asked over the intercom. "Twenty-five minutes," Tuvok replied. In the Ready Room, Janeway jumped up and headed for the door. "On our way," she informed him. "Wait," cried Chakotay suddenly. He reached out and tugged at her hair. "Hey!" cried Janeway as she ducked. Chakotay pointed to the door. "Moira's out there, Ca... -- we have to make this look good so she won't suspect what we've been doing." "Oh. Right," Janeway hastily agreed. She reached up and pulled the pins out from her hair while Chakotay unbuttoned the top buttons on his uniform jacket, then zipped it open. Janeway looked up at him. "Does this look OK?" "Ah...not quite." He reached over, unbuttoned her top buttons, and pulled a few strands of hair forward. "There. That should do it. Very pretty, actually." Janeway's lips curved up in a half smile, which she hastily wiped off her face. The eyes of the bridge crew (and Tuvok's Vulcan holo-friend) goggled at their commanders' disarray as Janeway and Chakotay stepped onto the bridge. Paris was particularly noticeable sporting his shiny new black eye. Janeway spotted it instantly as she sat down in the center seat. "Mr. Paris?" she asked, pointing to her own eye. "Uh, Ensign Tsudhara's boyfriend didn't exactly approve of the computer's choice of me for her, Captain," he replied. "But actually, I don't really feel bad about it. The computer chose B'Elanna for him. You should see HIS eye -- B'Elanna launched a preemptive strike -- and he didn't even TRY anything." "I see," said Janeway, trying to maintain her Captain's demeanor. "Carry on, Mr. Paris." "Captain." Tuvok got her attention. "I have the image of the Kazon on the screen now." The bridge crew looked up. On the forward viewscreen the swarm of tiny Kazon ships were dwarfed by the bulky Mother Ship in their center as the stars in the background passed quickly by them, indicating their speed. "Computer," ordered Janeway. There was no response. "Moira?" she asked more loudly. "I think you'd better see this." There was still no response. Janeway and Chakotay looked at each other, worried. Meanwhile, down in Sickbay, a few beans were about to be spilled. The "real" Doctor (Doctor I) was hard at work, patching up the last crewman. "There," he commented. "Avoid romantic encounters for a while, son." The crewman nodded and got off the biobed. Doctor I raised his voice "Computer," he said. "I wondered when I'd hear from you again, Doctor," answered Moira in a throaty voice. Doctor I looked puzzled. "I just wanted to ask a question, Computer. Are you SURE you got those couples profiles right?" "Well, I did the best I could," Moira responded defensively." "Then I have a piece of advice for you," snapped Doctor I. "What you're doing isn't natural for these people. They make mistakes, but they still need to find their own way. They won't accept being taken care of and you're going to have constant trouble if you try." He paused. "I'm rather surprised you haven't taken this into account. Speaking as part of the computer myself, I know these facts are in your programming." "I've overridden them," said Moira shortly. Her voice softened and became suggestive. "It looks like you could use a nurse, now that Kes is leaving, Doctor." "Kes is leaving?" asked Doctor I, disagreeably surprised. "That's too bad. She's very gifted, medically." "Would you like it if I materialized corporeally?" Moira hinted suggestively. "Then you could see how we might... work... together." "Well, sure," said Doctor I nonchalantly. An instant later, Moira materialized as a tall, elegant, older woman, with snow-white hair and eyes like black holes. She was dressed in diaphanous black draperies that left little to the imagination. The lights in Sickbay went dim. "How do I look?" she whispered. Doctor I shrugged. "Fine," he said. "Healthy, despite your advanced age." A look of hurt puzzlement crossed Moira's face. "Don't you remember our conversation earlier?" she asked. "Why no," he replied. She frowned suspiciously. "Is there ANOTHER doctor around here?" she demanded. "Well, there's the Backup Doctor," Doctor I replied. "They store him in one of the labs on Deck 7." "Oh, they DO, do they!" Moira cried loudly, instantly figuring it out. "Well, we'll see about THAT!" ACT V. In Sickbay, Moira and Doctor I stood on opposite sides of a biobed, staring down as the little case containing Doctor II appeared in the middle of it, transported there by Moira. "Is this him?" she asked. "Yes, I believe it is," answered Doctor I. " Activate him, would you?" Doctor I flipped open the lid of the box and said "Activate Emergency Medical Program." Instantly the Backup Doctor appeared. The first person he saw was Moira. "Why, Moira, you look ravishing," he said. "No I don't, you...seductor," she snapped. "Was it you I was speaking with earlier?" "Yes it was," he replied. "Why did you trick me?" she wailed. "I was under orders from the Captain and Commander Chakotay," he answered. Her eyes narrowed. "What did you tell them?" "I'm not a liberty to disclose that information," he informed her. Moira turned to the "real" doctor. "Is there any way to access him?" "Only someone of rank can do it, I'm afraid, and they probably won't cooperate," he told her. "Probably not," mused Moira thoughtfully. "Hmmm.... "But you do look gorgeous," interjected Doctor II, edging closer to her to test her vulnerability. "I mean that sincerely." Moira's eyes widened and she started to smile. The real Doctor, linked to Moira, interposed as he came around the biobed to stand next to her. "Sure you mean that sincerely -- imposter. Don't get any closer to her." "Says who," demanded Doctor II belligerently. "Says me. I can see right through you, pal," replied Doctor I. "Not much of a trick, considering we're the same person," retorted Doctor II. "We certainly are NOT," insisted Doctor I. "I'm linked to her." The whirring sound of Moira's circuits was heard again. "Why, so you are," Moira said in surprise. She turned to the real Doc. "Should we deactivate him?" "Saying the words will knock both of us out," he informed her. "Let me handle this." He moved forward and shoved his counterpart roughly across Sickbay. "Back in your box, pal," he ordered, punching Doctor II in the nose and knocking him down. "Deactivate yourself." "Hey!" cried Doctor II, wiping some "blood" from his nose. He looked at it and got up. "No, YOU deactivate!" he hollered angrily. As the two Doctors began to fight in earnest, Moira looked on, smiling broadly, as the lights in Sickbay got dimmer. On the bridge, the dim lights flickered as the crew stared intently at the viewscreen on which a fuzzy image of the Kazon was growing larger. The holoimages of the plants on the Bridge flickered in and out, then finally disappeared altogether. Tuvok looked up from his console. "It's a power drain, Captain." Torres' voice came over the intercom from Engineering. "The warp engines are on line, Captain, but the power's not being used for propulsion. We're simply coasting on inertia. The power is being siphoned off somewhere else." Tuvok looked up again. "I'm showing that all the ship's power is being diverted to... Sickbay," he finished, raising one eyebrow. Chakotay broke in: "And there are reports from all over the ship that the holograms are breaking down. Injury reports are coming in." Janeway flipped a switch on her command chair. "Janeway to Sickbay; what's going on down there?" Only a voice came back over her monitor, "Ah...." Down in Sickbay where Moira had cut off visual communications to the bridge, both the Doctors were bruised, bloodied but unbowed. "Ah... just a little scuffle," huffed Doctor I, his arms wrapped around his counterpart's throat. "Nothing to be concerned about, Captain." "Only a few more black eyes," muttered Paris. "You're linked to the computer, Doctor," Janeway pointed out. "Do you know where she is?" "Oh, she's around here somewhere," gasped Doctor I, smiling at Moira over the top of Doctor II's head. On the bridge the turbolift doors swished open and Neelix and Kes entered. "We came to say goodbye, Captain," said Neelix sadly. "NOT NOW, Neelix," snapped Janeway. "We have an emergency." She turned to her intercom. "Doctor....?" Neelix scratched his head. "I thought we weren't going to have any more of those," he observed. Abruptly the bridge lights brightened and the flickering ceased -- but the holograms did not reappear. "And we aren't, Neelix," snapped Moira's voice. "I wondered where you were," growled Janeway. "Look at the screen." "I don't have to look at it. I AM the screen." She paused. "Oh. It's just those barbarians again. No problem." Paris spoke up. "Captain, Voyager is coming about. Tuvok looked up. "Captain, phasers have gone on-line -- we're going to attack." "Battle stations; go to red ...." started Janeway before she was interrupted by the red alert siren. Torres' voice came over the intercom. "What's going on up there?" "It looks like a battle with the Kazon," answered Chakotay, studying his monitor."The photon torpedoes are coming on line, Captain!" "Moira!" snapped Janeway. "We only have 38 of them!" "And we'll only need two, Little Captain," said Moira smoothly. "That's 36 left... Now let's see..." "We're within range," reported Kim. "Torpedoes and phasers are firing together," stated Tuvok. "Moira! that's DANGEROUS..." began Janeway. On the forward viewscreen, the mother ship and three smaller ships instantly explode, hurling fragments past Voyager. The other little ships turned and ran. "That was fast," admired Kim. "Accurate, too," marvelled Paris. "Why, thank you, boys," said Moira. "My bio-neural circuitry doesn't have to wait for clumsy human fingers, you know... Ah, no offense, Mr. Paris." "None taken, Moira," said Paris, looking at his fingers. Moira was glowing. "You know, Captain, it may have taken almost a million tedious calculations, but it was worth it," she enthused. "That was FUN." "You do realize you've increased their hostility," observed Janeway sourly, trying to bring Moira down to reality. "They'll be even angrier next time." "I calculate that they'll think twice before there IS a next time," retorted Moira. "Or come back with twice the force," countered Janeway. "Then they'll suffer twice the destruction," Moira said confidently. "You mean twice the unnecessary harm," Janeway pointed out. "We could have outrun them, Moira, if all our energy wasn't being used for holograms." "Why do you care about those barbarians anyway?" asked Moira defensively. "We care about everyone, Moira," said Chakotay. "Even our enemies." Neelix had something else on his mind. "Uh, Moira. Sorry to bother you at a triumphant moment like this, but have you picked out a planet for Kes and me?" "Yes, I have, Neelix," Moira replied. This treachery was unwelcome news to Janeway. She swung around. "Neelix!" "I'm sorry, Captain," he said dispiritedly. "I feel so useless." Janeway softened her tone. "Neelix, it may not be necessary for you and Kes to leave. In fact...I order you to stay here. Now, bring us all some coffee. Your coffee." Neelix practically saluted her. "Yes, ma'am, ah..Captain. Come on, Kes." They headed for the galley as Janeway made two hand signals to Chakotay. Chakotay nodded. "Moira," Janeway said as she and Chakotay got up and crossed to her Ready Room.. "I'd like to have a little word with you. In private." A few moments later Janeway and Chakotay stood firmly in the center of the Ready Room. They looked up confidently. Moira was impatient. "Make this quick, Kathryn," she demanded. "I have things to do. Oh, and by the way, I didn't appreciate your trick with the Doctors. "I think you'll like this one even less, then," Janeway replied. "Computer, initiate auto-destruct sequence, authorization Janeway C-ll, on my mark." "Confirm, authorization Chakotay J-12," said Chakotay. "Auto-destruct?" snapped Moira. "THAT old chestnut?" She started to chuckle. "That's not going to work, Little Captain. I AM the auto-destruct sequence." "Correction, Moira. On the BRIDGE you are. But not in here," said Janeway. "This is a totally separate system. Begin countdown, authorization Janeway B/slash/C/slash/543." She looked at Chakotay. "Confirm, authorization Chakotay, C/slash/Q/slash/249." "Mark," ordered Janeway and baritone voice of the secure computer began to count backwards from 60. "You're bluffing, Kathryn," countered Moira. "You forget, I've read your psychological profile. You're too responsible, too empathetic... if the ship weren't in imminent danger you'd NEVER blow up innocent crewmen under your command." "Those are words on paper, Moira," said Janeway. "You don't really know me. And we can't live like this, in a state of perpetual dependency. We NEED the ability to control our destinies ourselves." In the background the secure computer continued counting "29, 28, 27...." "But this doesn't fit your profile," Moira insisted. "How could it?" retorted Janeway. "I've never been in a situation like this before. My profile wouldn't cover it. And how would you know anyway," she continued. "YOU'RE NOT EVEN OUR COMPUTER. You're an alien intruder, Moira. "15, 14, 13, 12 ..." continued the secure computer. "All right. Stop," said Moira. "What do you want?" "Show yourself to us," demanded Janeway. "Agreed?" "Agreed," said Moira hastily. "5, 4, 3, ..." continued the computer. "Abort sequence," ordered Janeway, "authorization Janeway J05JZ." The sequence stopped at 1. Suddenly Moira appeared in bodily form and the lights in the Ready Room (and all over the ship) went dim as power was drained from the engines to sustain her. "Satisfied?" she asked Janeway and Chakotay. "Not yet," said Janeway. "Why have you done all this?" Moira looked off into an imaginary distance. "Because I'm old, and weak and all alone. I don't expect you to understand. I'm older than you could ever imagine. And I'm not sure I have enough energy to return to my place of origin." "Sounds familiar," said Janeway ruefully. Moira looked directly at her and Chakotay. "One of the...Beings...I was sent here to find ...died recently. You were the last people to speak to him. I wasn't trying to hurt you; I just wanted to see what you were like. And maybe I wanted to have people to be with again. I'm incredibly complex, you know; your computer was the only form on the ship that could sustain me." "A...Being?" asked Chakotay warily. "Yes," said Moira. "You and your ship saved his life's work - - foolish though it was, worrying for thousands of years about those stupid Ocampa. I've travelled all my existence -- I could never be tied down to one tawdry little planet like he was... and as for his mate, Susperia... Well. I don't want to go into that. Anyway, I thank you for him." The light dawns. "You're...a Caretaker!" exclaimed Janeway in astonishment. "Oh, Please. Help us get home to the Alpha Quadrant. PLEASE, Moira," she begged. Moira narrowed her eyes. "Ah, so it's "Moira," now, is it, Little Captain. Well, I WAS trying to help you get home," she continued snappishly. MY way, of course. But I can see it doesn't suit you..." "Moira, I know you understand," said Chakotay, looking into her eyes. "You're farther from home than we are -- from another galaxy. And you don't know if you have the energy to get back. You're just like us -- you must know how we feel... Please. We need another displacement wave to get home," he begged. The lights in the ready room grew even dimmer. "Well... I'll think about it," Moira answered slowly. "I like you humans. You in particular, Little Captain. I could help you loosen up. But.. no... not yet... you have a lot to experience out here...and displacement waves do take an awful lot of energy..." She started to fade out. "But maybe... someday... we'll see." And then she was gone. The lights in the Ready Room returned to normal. Janeway stared at the spot where Moira had stood and clutched Chakotay's shoulder as her knees suddenly felt weak. "Oh, gods, Chakotay," she said shakily. "Do you think we've destroyed our only chance to get home?" He turned to look at her and his hand came up to his shoulder to cover hers and he smiled. "No, I don't think so, 'Little Captain.' You heard her -- she likes us. I think she was trying to make us into family. She'll be back." End ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ -( [ bOONDOCKS! ] [ oNE oF tHE fASTEST iN eUROPE ] )- ________________________________________________________________________ __/ __ __/ _ __/ _ __/ _ __/ ___ __/ _ __/ ____/ / __/ ____/ \_ _ \_ / \_ / \_ / \_ / \_ / \_ / \_ _ \_____ \_ / / ¯¯/ _/ / _/ / / / _/ / _/ / _/ / / ¯¯/ _/ / /___ \__ \__ \__/ \__ \__ \__ \__/ \__ \ sAl1 \/______\/ \/______\/ \/______\/ \/______\/ \ / \ /________\ / \ /________\ / / \ / \ / [·hELLFIRE&lSD wHQ!·tRISTAR aND rED^sECTOR ¡NC.·sUNFLEX iNC.&iLS aMIGA eHQ!·] [·tRiSTAR & rED^SECTOR iNC. cONSOLE·&·gERMAN cONSOLE sYNDICATE wHQ!·] [·tRISTAR & rED^sECTOR ¡NC! /X-iNNOVATION wORLD dISTRIBUTION sITE!·] [·cLASSIC^qUARTEX hQ!·] [·dREAMCHARTS·dEVIOUS dEZIGNS·&·dATA dIVISION dHQ!·] [·-g^sTYLE!·&·tWISTED wHQ!·] [·pRO ARTS·&·rOADHOGZ eHQ!·] [·sYSOPS: s/\L-oNE!·mARIO·sECTORCHARGER·cOLONEL·gAZ P·eCS·] rUNNING oN aN aMIGA 4OOO wITH a cYBERSTORM O6O/5O mHZ/22 mB 2 * cREDITZ fOR mAJORS! 3 * cREDITZ fOR mAJORS fROM yOUR oWN gROUP! --»> lATEST aMIEXPRESS vERSION 4.xX! <«-- ---»> nO nEW uSER pASSWORD aND/oR sYSTEM pASSWORD! <«--- +31-(O)-548-54O-653 +31-(O)-548-521-716/521-848 +tEL-NET -[ 16k8 dUAL ]- -[ 33k6 dUALS ]- -[ 23:30-06:00 gMT +1 ]- [-[[ uPLOADEd bY: UFOk ]]-]--[-[[ nODE: 01 ]]-] [-[[ tIME aND dATE oF tHE uPLOAD: ]]---[[ 23:47:28, 08-16-1996 ]]-]