. .___________ _|_ ______________________________. | | | : bOONDOCKS · oNE oF tHE fASTEST iN eUROPE | . _______ __ _|_ ____ ______ ________ : _____ _|_\_ / . | . \_ __ ______\_. \ ______ _\_. /__| ___ / __/__ | / / | : | / \| / l \/ . \ l___/\_ |/ /___ / : \ \______|______/ \ /_________/ | \________/ / _/_______/_ _l______/sc : _/ \____/ \__________/ _/ \___) | | . \_____| \______| | | : | |hELLFiRE & lSD wHQ!·tRISTAR & rED^SECTOR iNC., sUNFLEX iNC. & iLS aMIGA eHQ!| | tRiSTAR & rEDSECTOR iNC. cONSOLE aND gERMAN cONSOLE sYNDICATE wHQ! | | tRiSTAR & rED^SECTOR iNC. /X-iNNOVATiON wORLD diSTRiBUTiON sITE | | cLASSIC^qUARTEX hQ! · dREAMCHARTS, dEViOUS dEZiGNS & dATA dIVISION dHQ! | | -g^sTYLE! & tWISTED wHQ! · pRO aRTS & rOADHOGZ eHQ! | | | | mASTERS aRE: | | -·>s/\L-oNE!·mARIO·sECTORCHARGER·cOLONEL·gAZ P·eCS<·- | | | | rUNNING oN aN aMIGA 4ooo wITH a cYBERSTORM o6o/5o mHZ/22 mB! | | 2 * cREDITZ fOR mAJORS! 3 * cREDITZ fOR mAJORS fROM yOUR oWN gROUP! | | | | +31-(o)-548-54O-653 +31-(o)-548-521-716/521-848 +tEL-NET | | -·>16k8 dUAL<·- -·>33k6 dUALS!<·- 23:30-06:00 gMT +1 | | | l_________._ _ _ _._________| ________ | -·>nO nEW uSER pASSWORD aND/oR sYSTEM pASSWORd!<·- | ________ |________|| ||________| : uPLOADEd bY ZiuTek oN nODE #03 : . tIME aND dATE oF tHE uPLOAD: 20:40:16 , 08-16-1996 . å @BEGIN_FILE_ID.DIZ -+* STARTREK-STORY *+- The Left Hand of Madness 4 written by Jennifer Pelland (Siubhan) @END_FILE_ID.DIZ All characters in this story are copyrighted by Paramount Studios. What is done to them is copyright 1996 by Jennifer Pelland. You may not reprint this story without my express permission. However, you may distribute this to friends provided that you keep this disclaimer at the top. The Left Hand of Madness 4 by Jennifer Pelland (Siubhan) Part 1 Babies were busting out all over on Voyager. It was a regular baby-o-rama. First it had been little Spike Wildman, then the babies that Kes and Neelix had with Tuvok's help. Geron died four months before Rebecca Kirby had their baby, but she was a strong little half-Bajoran girl who at three weeks old had already captured the hearts of all the crew. And now Donna Henley was pregnant with B'Elanna's baby. It was a regular little population explosion, and they were all girls. Chakotay and I were babysitting little Spraxa and Kalla so Kes and Neelix could have an evening to themselves on the holodeck. The two little pointy-eared girls were running around, squealing, "Chase me! Chase me!" so I did my best to oblige. "Having fun?" Chakotay asked from his leisurely seat on the sofa. Snagging Spraxa and holding her wiggly body under my arm, I said, "Oh, gobs of it. You're working hard." "I'm supervising." Kalla clung to my leg, squealing, "Gotcha!" "Oh really?" I asked and started walking over to the sofa with her still clinging on for dear life. The two of them resumed squealing until I plopped down on the sofa and handed Spraxa to Chakotay. Kalla clambered into my lap and they started begging for a story. "All right," Chakotay said. "Do you want to hear the story about the Trickster Coyote?" "No, I wanna hear Unca Tom tell the story about the Sarcathian Swamp Rhino!" Kalla chimed. "Yeah! The Sarcathian Swamp Rhino and the Denebian Slime Devil!" Spraxa squealed. Chakotay looked over at me in mock disgust. "You told them that story? It's got to be one of the grossest things I've ever heard." "They're at the age for gross," I replied with an impish smile. "They're only a year old." "But they're the equivalent of three Human years. Ready for the story?" "Yeah!" "One day the Sarcathian Swamp Rhino noticed that he had a huge pimple on his butt, but he couldn't reach around to pop it by himself..." "I'm so glad they're asleep," Chakotay whispered as we snuggled together exhaustedly on the sofa. "They're a real handful." "Imagine if Kes had carried all three to term. That would have been a logistical nightmare. I always say, you shouldn't have more babies than you have arms." "That's a good philosophy. You like those two, don't you?" "Hmm? Yeah, I do." "You also like Spike, and she adores you. You're the only person besides her mother that she doesn't try to head-butt with those spikes." "What can I say? I'm popular with toddlers," I shrugged. "We're about the same level of maturity..." "Ah, you beat me to the punch." "Yes I did." "You don't want any of your own some day?" "Well, maybe. I don't know. If we get home, I guess it'll be an issue, but right now I don't think it's gonna happen." "You're right," Chakotay sighed. "You just look like a natural with children." "You think? I don't know. I like the ability to give them back when I'm done." "That is nice, isn't it?" Kes and Neelix walked in looking very happy and very relaxed. "How were they?" she whispered. "They were just fine," Chakotay replied. "We'll let you two go now. Thanks so much!" Neelix quietly enthused. "You're welcome. Any time," I whispered with a wave as we headed out the door. Babysitting those two always wiped us out. Within moments of getting back to our quarters, we were in bed, asleep. Well, I wasn't quite asleep. I was thinking back over the past year. Neelix finally looked happy, but it had been so hard for him when Kes and Tuvok mated. I took him off on a six day food gathering mission when Kes and Tuvok "did it", and I'm positive that those were the six most agonizing days of Neelix's life. He raged about his inadequate genetics and then berated himself for being so selfish as to wish that Kes would refuse Tuvok, thus signing Tuvok's death warrant. One moment he did want to help Kes raise the children Tuvok fathered, the next he didn't. And the entire time, he was insanely jealous of Tuvok for being the one to be there with Kes during her elogium. The poor guy really went through the emotional wringer on this one, but he was strong enough to make it through. When Kes miscarried one of the babies, he was as strong as a rock for her. And during the difficult birth, he was the best birthing coach anyone could hope for. This according to the Doctor, of all people, who had never been much of a Neelix fan. Still though, I would see how he would look at the little beige babies when Kes wasn't watching him. Their dark skin, sharp ears, curly hair, and lack of spots were a constant reminder that another man had fathered his wife's children. Well, she hadn't been his wife at the time, but once she gave birth, she was his wife by Ocampan law. It didn't matter that he wasn't the biological father of her children, just that she identified him as the father and that he agreed. And once the babies were a month old, the Captain led a little Talaxian marriage ceremony and declared them legally married in the ship's logs. Tuvok kept a discrete distance from the children, only visiting when Neelix was not around, which was how they agreed to work things out at first. "Uncle Tuvok" was a special uncle to them because he was the only other person who could touch their little minds the way their mother could, even though he had agreed not to mind meld with them until they reached adulthood. They still hadn't been told the story of their parentage, but I think Kes wanted to do it soon. They'd soon be old enough to figure it out on their own. I think Neelix stopped thinking of them as an example of his own failure to procreate successfully with Kes about the time they started calling him "Daddy". Talia Geron-Kirby didn't have anyone to call "Daddy". Maybe Rebecca would find someone else. I hoped so, because Rebecca was a real sweetheart who deserved better than to have the man she loved die after such a short amount of time together. And Talia was a little doll. Of course, Donna and B'Elanna's baby wouldn't have anyone to call "Daddy" either, but that was different. They're still trying to figure out what to have their daughter call them. They figure they'd better have it hammered out before Donna gives birth in three months. I think they've already discarded "Mama Donna and Mama B'Elanna" due to the goofy rhyming problem. I told them just to have her use their names, but B'Elanna isn't too keen on that. B'Elanna's been pretty funny throughout this whole thing. When Donna asked her if she wanted to have kids, all the blood drained from B'Elanna's face and she started stuttering something about pregnancy and "no way in hell". Donna had to give her a little shake to snap her out of it, then told her that she wanted to be the one to carry it. From that moment on, B'Elanna became a gung-ho supporter of the idea of having kids. They got married and with the Doctor's help, Donna was pregnant within days of the ceremony. I think B'Elanna likes the "dad" role better than "mom". I can't say I blame her. Some guys are supposed to have womb envy, but even before I had one for a few months, the idea of carrying a living thing inside my body and then having food squirt out of me gave me the creeps. Wonder what Chakotay and I will do if we ever have kids? Ah, that won't happen for a long time. With any luck, we'll spend the rest of our lives on Voyager and never get back home. With a yawn, I spooned up behind Chakotay and drifted off to sleep. "Hi Samantha, hi Spike!" I waved as I entered the mess hall. "Hi Tom!" Spike yelled, waving her chubby little three year old arm wildly. *Almost* three years old, as she was fond of reminding everyone. "Lookit the baby!" she hollered, pointing at Rebecca and Talia who were sitting at the table with them. "All right, but just because you said so," I countered as I headed over to join them. "Where's Chakotay?" Samantha asked. "Oh, he's on duty already. The Captain had a medical issue to discuss with the Doctor or something, so he's on the bridge in her place. Hi Talia," I said, peering at her tiny face. "Still as pretty as ever." "Like me!" Spike squealed. "Can you hold her for me? I want more toast," Rebecca asked. "Sure." I took the little infant in my arms and smiled down at her. "Hey little one, how are you doing?" "Aren't her nose ridges precious?" Samantha asked. "They're great. They really are. Not as fearsome as your spikes, though, Spike," I grinned as I winked at her daughter. Spike roared like a lion in reply. "You know," Samantha said as she turned to her rambunctious child, "you have a perfectly nice name. Why don't you ever use it?" "Don't like being Melissa," she pouted. "What's wrong with Melissa?" Spike just roared again. "All right," Samantha laughed, tousling her daughter's hair. "Spike it is. You know, that nickname is your fault." "Me? Just because you took forever to name her and she has these spikes sticking out of her forehead that were just *screaming* for a nickname!" Spike roared again, then said, "I'm a Spike-o-saur!" "You sure are!" I laughed. Damn, that kid was precocious. 'Course, that could be due to her father's Kitarian genes, but she had a *huge* vocabulary for a three year old Human. "Where's Rebecca?" Samantha asked. "I don't see her?" "She probably went into the kitchen." "No...hmmm. I'm going to go look for her. Spike, stay with Tom." "Okay." Talia fussed slightly, so I tossed a napkin over my shoulder, propped her up, and started gently patting her on the back. "She gonna burp?" Spike asked. "Maybe. Let's see. So, who are you staying with today -- Mom or Kes?" "Kes today! We're gonna help her with the plants. I like Spraxa and Kalla, but sometimes they're mean." "No they're not," I chided. "Yes they are. They say my spikes are ugly." "They're just jealous. You have great spikes, just like they have great ears." "They have ears like Tuvok!" Smart kid. "Kes also has pointy ears, but you can't see them under her hair. It used to be shorter, you know." "Really?" "Ask her to show you." "Okay!" At that moment, Talia let out a monster burp, accompanied by enough of a splatter that I was glad I thought to put the napkin down first. "Good girl," I crooned. Spike just laughed uproariously. Burping's really funny when you're *almost* three. An ashen-faced Samantha walked back to the table. "Rebecca's in sickbay now," she whispered. "I found her lying on the floor in the back of the kitchen. I don't think she was breathing." "Oh gods," I gasped, clutching Talia even closer to me. "I'd better get down there." "Yeah." She plucked the napkin off my shoulder and then turned to her daughter. "Let's go." "Mommy, what's wrong?" Spike asked. "Rebecca's sick, honey. Come on, let's go." I blew down to sickbay with the baby in my arms and nearly crashed into the Captain. "There's the baby," she gasped in relief. "What's going on? What's wrong?" She shook her head. "I don't know. They've been trying to revive her ever since they brought her here, but I don't think anything's working." "It's no use," we heard the Doctor say. "Computer, record time of death as 0712 hours. I'm sorry, Captain, it was a spontaneous brain hemorrhage, and she had been dead too long by the time she got here." She nodded sadly, then turned to me and asked, "Tom, as a personal favor, could you take care of the baby until we decide what to do with her permanently? Rebecca trusted you with her." "Of course." "Thank you. You've got the rest of the day off. I'll tell Chakotay. Oh, and computer? Change the access code on Rebecca Kirby's quarters to match the access code of Thomas Paris." "Thanks, Captain." She squeezed my shoulder, looked sadly at the baby, and then left. "Tom?" Kes asked. "Do you want any help?" "Um..." My throat was dry. "No, I should be all right. You have daycare duty today." "All right, but you stop by if you need anything." "Yeah." With a heavy heart, I headed for Rebecca's quarters. My mind was numb. By the time I got there, thoughts were starting to trickle in slowly like hot wax, but I pushed them aside, focusing instead on the reality of the situation. The baby was asleep, so I tucked her into her little crib and started looking around the room for supplies. The diapers were there, no bottles...she was still being breast fed. We'd need bottles and formula. Of course, if she'd never taken a bottle before, this would be a struggle. There are her little clothes... My eyes fell on a row of pictures. Geron and Rebecca. Rebecca and Talia. My knees gave out and I came crashing down on the sofa. Little Talia was all alone. So much pain for such a tiny little body. How was she going to feel when she cried for her mother and she never came? When she screamed for love and nourishment and all she got was a sterile bottle? When she looked for comfort and familiarity, and a stranger's embrace was all that there was? There was no way that this tiny baby could understand what had just happened to her life. Gods, we're all so fragile. Geron died in an accident on an away mission, but Rebecca just fell down dead. Any one of us could just up and die, couldn't we? Maybe we were starting to have babies, but that wasn't enough to stem the tide of deaths that had been slowly and surely nibbling away at the population of this ship. Spying the stuffed rabbit I had given Talia as a gift, I picked it up and tucked it in with her in her crib. "I'm sorry, sweetie," I whispered. "We won't let you be alone. I promise." Part 2 The door chimed. "Come in." Chakotay walked in and saw me struggling to feed little Talia. "Problems?" he asked. "I don't think she's ever taken a bottle before. Come on, sweetie. Just latch on." "Is that the right kind of nipple to use on a baby that small?" "It's what the Doctor said to use. He said I should just keep trying and eventually she'd get hungry enough that she'd try it." "She'd probably be more willing to try if her mother were holding her," Chakotay said sadly as he sat down beside me. "Yeah, I know. Come on Talia, open your mouth. I'm gonna see if I can't get a little squirt of the stuff in her mouth so she'll know what it is." "Good idea." "You think it will work?" "I have no idea." I managed to get a little squirt of the warm formula in her mouth, and she seemed to recognize it as food, because she stopped struggling and started sucking tentatively on the nipple. "That's a girl," I cooed. "So, do you want to spend the night here with her?" Chakotay asked. "I think so. She should probably stay in familiar surroundings for now, I guess. What's the Captain going to do with her?" "She's still trying to figure that out. Tom?" "Hmm?" "What about us?" "Us?" "Yes. We'd make good parents. Hell, we're everyone's favorite babysitters." "You're serious, aren't you?" "Yes I am. Look at her, Tom. She needs parents, and I think we'd be good for her. We're a stable couple, we have no other children to take up our attention, and we're not about to have children of our own any time soon. I think we're probably the best people on the ship for her." "It's going to change 'us' big time." "We've survived other changes, and they've always made us stronger in the end." "It's just so sudden." "I know. Tom, you know I've always wanted to have a child, and I know that you're terrified of the idea, but you really are good with children." "Chakotay, this is a twenty-year commitment we're talking about here. If we take her, she's *ours* and we can't just give her back if it doesn't work out. Never mind that she might spend the rest of her life on this ship. If we screw this up, she can't exactly move away from us like I did when I took off for the Maquis to get away from my dad." "I know we won't screw this up. I know we're capable of raising her right. We've both got a strong sense of morals and ethics, and we both have a lot of love and knowledge to share." "We'll be responsible for her education." "There are enough children on the ship that we'll have to set up a school anyway." "Never mind sex talks and the big puberty talk. I may have been a woman for a few months, but I'm not about to give the 'this is your period' talk." "We can get B'Elanna or the Captain to help with that." "And what if she doesn't have any friends?" "That's out of our control," he replied, "but it's not like we're debating whether or not to bring her into the world. She's already here, and she needs parents." "She does, doesn't she?" I looked back down at the baby in my arms and wondered what would happen if we didn't take her. Would she get bounced from person to person every few months? Would the Captain have to order someone to raise her? That didn't seem like a good way to grow up, frankly. Chakotay was right: we *could* do this. And somehow the idea wasn't *as* terrifying as I thought it would be. "What do you think, Talia? Think we can pull this off without screwing up and hating each other?" She sucked happily on her bottle, looking up at me with those guileless brown eyes of hers, and that's when I realized that I didn't want to hand her to someone else. I couldn't. If someone was going to raise her, it would be me -- us. "If the Captain will let us," I replied with more than a hint of trepidation. Chakotay wrapped his arm around me and gazed down at little Talia. "Feels like family already." The Captain, needless to say, was overjoyed. "You want to raise her? Oh, that's wonderful!" she gushed. "I had no idea what to do with her, and I certainly didn't want to force her on anybody. You two will be perfect." "Thank you so much," Chakotay beamed. "Where is she now?" Janeway asked. "She's sleeping in her crib in her mother's room," Chakotay replied as he pointed off in the appropriate direction. "Well, I'll make sure that there are no objections and then I'll appoint you her legal custodians. Unfortunately, I can't make you her legal parents. Starfleet doesn't have that kind of power. As soon as that's set, you can move her into your quarters." "Wonderful. Thank you." "No, thank *you*. Both of you," she smiled. With a happy sigh, she walked out the door. "Think anyone'll object?" I asked. "I doubt it," Chakotay replied as he wrapped his arms around me. "So, how does 'daddy' sound to you?" I snickered. "Sounds great." "Seriously, though. What do we want her to call us? She can't call us both daddy." "Maybe she should just use our names." "Maybe. We've got a little time to figure it out." Chakotay led me over to the sofa and we sat down together. "This was pretty sudden," he said. "Yeah. It was. But it's the right thing to do." "You're sure you're all right with this, Tom?" "Sure as I can be, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I was nervous as all hell." "I think all parents are nervous at first." "I'm sure you're right." Talia's hiccupping cry interrupted us. "My turn," Chakotay said as he got up to comfort our new baby. Don't think of her like that, Tom. Not yet. Don't get too attached until the paperwork goes through. Anything could happen between now and then, and someone might take her away. "Where are the diapers?" "To the left of the crib." "Thanks." Gods, that felt natural. That evening, we brought Talia with us to the memorial service. It was brief, but very poignant. Talia was silent through the entire ceremony, fussing only after people started to mill about and talk. B'Elanna and Donna headed over and B'Elanna said, "I heard that you two are going to take Talia." "We'd like to," I replied as I gently rocked her to quiet her down. She just smiled. "You two will be great with her." "Well, I can't wait for you two to become parents. Three months left?" "Three months left," Donna grinned as she ran her hand over her curving belly. "If for any reason something happens to me and B'Elanna..." "Don't worry. Your daughter will be taken care of," Chakotay reassured her. "It's just so scary," B'Elanna said as she wrapped her arms protectively around her pregnant wife. "I don't want my daughter to grow up without us. I mean, I was angry when Geron died on the away mission, because that was theoretically avoidable, but Rebecca just *died*." "It happens," Chakotay sighed. "Death is part of life." "That doesn't mean I have to like it." Samantha joined our little group, a teary Spike in her arms. "I heard the news," Samantha said. "If you need any help or advice, just let me know." "Thanks," I said. "I'm sure we'll take you up on it. Is Spike all right?" "Rebecca's death spooked her. I think it spooked us all, especially us parents." "You keeping the baby?" Spike asked in a tiny voice. "Chakotay and I are going to take care of her." "Poor little baby," she said before clinging tightly to her mother and starting to cry again. "Honey, watch the spikes...that's a girl. Everything's going to be all right," Samantha cooed reassuringly through the tears welling up in her own eyes. Talia's own fussing got louder, and Chakotay put his hand on my shoulder and said, "We'd better get back. She's probably hungry." I cradled her in the crook of my arm and put my finger on her lips. She started sucking on it avidly, and I said, "Yep, she's hungry. We'll see you later." "Man, I'm tired," I said as I handed the bottle of warm formula over to Chakotay. "Well, you've been with her all day," he replied. "All she does is eat, shit, and wiggle. I don't know why it's so exhausting." "Because you're worried about her and focusing a lot of attention and energy on her. Come on sweetie, take the bottle." "You've got the nipple upside down." "These things are directional?" "Mmm hmm." "Women's nipples aren't directional." "Maybe they are for feeding purposes. I mean, I was weaned when I was eight months old. I haven't exactly tried feeding from one since." "Neither have I. Ah, good girl. She's latched on now." I sank down on the sofa next to Chakotay and leaned my head on his shoulder. "I still can't believe it." "What made you accept my proposal to adopt her?" I put my finger in one of her tiny hands and said, "Just something about her." "I know what you mean." "Besides, you're right. We can pull this off, and I really do love being around her." "Children really do seem to bring out the best in you." "Chakotay, I don't want to sleep in Rebecca's bed tonight." "No, it seems wrong to me as well." "Want to camp out on the floor?" "That sounds like a good idea." "Right. Lemme lay out some blankets." After retrieving my finger, I pulled all the blankets I could find out of the closet and then went to our quarters to grab a few more and our pillows. By the time I got back, Chakotay was burping Talia. "Damn, you look like a natural too," I smiled. "Thanks." "People are going to think that she's your biological child. She's got your coloring." "Tom, there's a lot we need to discuss about raising her." "I know." Talia let out a gurgling burp, and Chakotay brought her to the other room to change her before bed. I followed and leaned against the wall to watch. "What about her name?" Chakotay asked. "She should keep it. After all, it's not like you and I have compatible naming customs. You're still Chakotay, and I'm still Tom Paris." "I could take your last name..." "Oh no you don't! Hell, if you had a last name, I'd ditch mine and take yours. The Paris name is nothing to be proud of, so there's no way in hell I'm saddling you or Talia with it." "What about your mother's family name?" "What's wrong with letting her stay Talia Geron-Kirby?" "I want us to feel like a family." "But I don't want to erase Rebecca and Geron." Chakotay paused for a moment, visibly sobered, then said, "Good point." Talia chose that moment to start crying; a painful, lonely sounding cry. Chakotay picked her up and held her against him, crooning a soft song, but she wouldn't be calmed. "She misses her mom," I said sadly. "Let's let her sleep with us tonight." "Sure." We headed back to the living room and settled her down on the blankets. Changing quickly out of our uniforms, we snuggled in on either side of her. Her crying continued, but got softer and softer until she tired herself out and fell asleep. "Wonder how many nights of that we'll have to deal with?" I asked in a quiet voice, unwilling to risk waking her back up. "Poor little thing," Chakotay murmured as he stroked her fuzzy cap of dark hair. "She's too little to have to go through this." "Maybe it's better this way. She won't remember Rebecca in a few weeks." "If the paperwork goes through, I'd like to have a little ritual for her to welcome her into the family." "Sure. I think I'd better start studying up on Bajoran culture so I can teach her about it when she's older. Do we still have Geron's earring?" "B'Elanna has it." "We should give it to her when she's older." "Too bad Geron was the only Bajoran on board," Chakotay sighed. "I'll teach her about my people's traditions, we can both study up on Bajoran culture, and you can teach her about yours." "What traditions? My family's Starfleet." "What about your aunts?" I shook my head. "I don't really know much about them. My dad was pretty good at keeping us cut off from them." Chakotay reached over and cupped my cheek in his broad brown hand. "I know you're going to be a much better father than your own father was." "Damn right," I whispered back. I looked down at little Talia, and her eyes opened and looked right at me, hooded with sleepiness but clearly alert. Putting my hand on her tiny chest, I said, "Okay Talia, here's the deal. I promise never to hit you, ever. I won't take my anger or frustrations out on you. I'll only yell if you're in danger. I won't ever try to belittle you or make you feel bad. And if I screw up and do any of those things..." "You won't," Chakotay softly replied. "I might. It's pretty deeply ingrained." "But you won't." The conviction and trust in his deep brown eyes nearly took my breath away. No one had ever trusted me like this man had. No one. If he thought I could do it, then I could. Of that, I was sure. "You're right, I won't." Chakotay just smiled, kissed me, and said, "Let's get some sleep. You too, Talia." "Good night." "Good night." Part 3 The next morning, Janeway called us into her office. We sat down, baby in my lap, and she smiled that overjoyed smile of hers from across her desk. "She's yours." "Thank you, Captain," Chakotay gushed. "Hear that, Talia? You're stuck with us," I cooed. The Captain leaned back in her chair and said, "You have the next two days off to get her moved into your quarters and do a little bonding, then I'm putting you both on half-time duty until she's old enough for day care. You'll never both be on duty at the same time. I wish I could give you both three months off..." "But we're understaffed and you need us," Chakotay cut in. "We understand, and we agree with you completely." Janeway sighed and rocked back slightly in her chair. "You know, I envy you. That medical issue I was discussing with the Doctor yesterday? I'd been thinking of getting pregnant." "Pregnant?" I blurted. "Um, sorry, but with who?" "I have a lock of Mark's hair tucked away in my quarters, and I was asking the Doctor if he could use that DNA to impregnate me." "Can he?" "Yes, but I'm not going to." "Why not?" Chakotay gently asked. "It just wouldn't be proper. For starters, it would be grossly unethical to use Mark's DNA without his permission. Plus, I can't be a single parent *and* a starship captain. Oh, I had been entertaining turning command over to you for a few months, Chakotay, but you've got your own little girl to take care of now. And even if Talia hadn't fallen into your family, I don't think I would have done it. It's just...well, I've always wanted children, and I'm starting to worry that it might not happen." "Captain...maybe in a few years..." Chakotay started. "Maybe. Maybe not. I think I can lead a perfectly happy and fulfilled life without children, especially considering that I'm not quite sure why I want them. It's just a feeling I've always had. For all I know, I'd regret it the first moment my child-care responsibilities took me away from my command, and you both know how much I love being captain. Besides, I'm the godmother of every child living on this ship," she said with a smile. "That's quite a responsibility already." "Speaking of which," I said as I shifted Talia in my lap, "I was talking to B'Elanna, Donna, and Samantha yesterday at the memorial service, and they both expressed concern over the level of danger we all face on this ship. A lot of people have died since we started this crazy voyage, but now some of them are parents of children living on this ship. More and more of us are going to be having children, and I don't want there to be any more orphans." "If you're suggesting that I remove parents from dangerous duty..." "No, not just parents. *All* of us. Captain, we can't afford to lose any more crew members, parents or not. I think it's time Voyager made a policy of minimizing our voluntary involvement in hazardous situations." "Captain," Chakotay gently added, "I think he's right. We're barely able to run the ship with our current staffing levels, and we're in no position to add large numbers of additional crewmembers like we could be if we were in the Alpha Quadrant and near Starfleet. Even if there weren't children on board the ship, it would be time to start thinking about this." Janeway sighed and leaned forward on her desk. "It certainly is something to consider. But I will not abandon basic Starfleet principles just to keep this little ship afloat." "Of course not," Chakotay agreed. With a little laugh, he added, "We know better than to ask you to do that." "I'd hope so by now. Well, I'll take that under advisement and talk it over with the rest of the senior officers. Anyhow, you three are dismissed. Go move her things into your quarters, and when you're done, I'll have someone pack the rest of Rebecca's things away." "Thanks," we both replied together as we rose and headed out. "Hey Harry, it's official!" I waved as we passed his station. "Really? Man, that's great news," he gushed. It wasn't the most sincere gush in the universe. Harry'd become a very bitter man after our last failed attempt to get home. Actually, it wasn't just that. I think he would have survived that if B'Elanna had taken him back. But she was so far over him that she was married to someone else and having a baby with her. That was the final blow to Harry's cheeriness. From that point on, he lost hope. "See you later, Harry. We're off to move her stuff." "See you." The doors closed behind us on the turbolift, and Chakotay held his arms out to take Talia. I handed her over, and he hugged her and said, "I still can't believe this." "Yeah. I think things are too calm to seem real." "Don't most new parents panic all the time?" "I guess so. But I don't feel panicked." "Neither do I. I am nervous, though, but that's different." "Very different," I agreed. "Maybe we're still in shock." "Maybe. If it wears off, then I guess we were." We walked off the turbolift when it hit our floor and headed for Rebecca's quarters. "How do you want to do this?" I asked. "We put Talia in the crib, pack everything up, then take turns carrying things to our quarters." "Sounds sensible." It was. It only took two hours to move her. We set her things up in the spare room. All we had to move out of there were a few exercise mats. We got the computer to make copies of the photos of Talia and her parents, and then put the copies in an album. We thought it best to have the originals packed away with the rest of Rebecca's things. This was it. She was living with us now. Now what? "Chakotay, should we start moving the knick knacks?" "Why?" "Well, she'll eventually be crawling around and sticking her fingers into things and knocking other things over." "Not for many months." "I know, but that move felt too easy, and I can't shake the feeling that there's got to be something more to do." He nodded. "I know how you feel." From her new bedroom, Talia started to cry. "See?" I said. "That should freak us out, right? I mean, Samantha told me that for months she panicked every time Spike cried. I'm not panicked. Are you?" He shrugged. "No, I don't think so." "Shock. That's gotta be it. We're in shock. Either that or we're both missing a crucial parenting gene." "Or both," he grinned as he wandered off to pick up the fussing infant. From the other room, he called out, "Well, my keen sense of smell tells me what the problem most likely is." "That doesn't take a keen sense of smell, Chakotay," I called back. "Right now, I wish it wasn't quite so keen," he retorted. "Talia, this is a whole lot of stink for such a small baby." "Don't mind me if I just stay out here and catalog which knick knacks are going to have to go away in a few months." "Of course not. Wouldn't want you to strain yourself...oh Talia, now this is just plain disgusting. I'm not quite sure how you produced this color..." "Thanks for the running commentary!" "You're welcome." Sarcasm is lost on that man. Lunch came and went, followed by dinner. We spent the day holed up in our quarters watching Talia sleep, napping together, planning, and dreaming about the future. It was all fairly inane, really. But both of us were concerned with what the future offered her if we spent the rest of our lives on Voyager. Chakotay and I *might* live to see Earth again, providing it only took seventy five years to get back. But considering how we kept poking around and looking at everything along the way, seventy five years was a pretty optimistic estimate. Like it or not, unless by some miracle we managed to get home soon, all the children on board Voyager would probably spend most of their lives on the ship. "I want to put together a ritual to welcome her to our family," Chakotay mused, his head pillowed on my stomach as we lazed in bed. "Why don't you work out the details? I don't know much about stuff like that." "I'd like your input." "Put together an outline and I'll help fill in the details. Is this just for us or for all of our friends?" "I was thinking us." "Well, the whole ship is really a family for her, so I'd like it to be more than just the two of us. Maybe two ceremonies?" "Hmmm...I like that idea of the ship being her family." Uh oh. I could see the gears turning behind his obsidian eyes. "Nothing *too* big, though," I cautioned. "Don't get carried away." "Oh, I won't. I want to put a dream catcher over her bed. I think I still have some wood and twine." "I've got those feathers we found on our last shore leave." "Good idea. I'll attach those." Talia started fussing in the next room. "Hmmm." "What is it, Tom?" "Well, I'm feeling a little panicky, but I don't know if it's good." "What do you mean?" "Well, I don't know if I'm panicked about not panicking, or panicked because she's crying." Chakotay just shot me a weird look. "Right, I'll go get her," I sighed as I slid out from under him and trotted off to the next room. "Oh my *god*!" "What?" Chakotay thundered to my side. "Look at her eye. I think she poked it. It's all bloodshot and bruised." "Are you sure she didn't poke it on something in the crib?" "There's nothing pointy in here." "We should take her to sickbay." "Lemme change her first. She smells." "The Doctor doesn't care." "Well, I do. I don't think her eye is so bad that she can't wait through a changing." "She's crying." "Not loud enough to be in serious pain, I don't think. Shit, Chakotay. Now I'm definitely feeling panicky." "So am I." "I'm almost done changing her...done. Right, off to sickbay we go. That's a girl," I crooned as I held her against me. "You go on ahead. I'll stay here and get her a bottle. It's her mealtime and she's going to want to eat as soon as the Doctor's done with her. I'll meet you there in a minute." Cradling my crying infant against me, I headed to sickbay. "That's all right, Talia," I crooned as I bounced her gently to try and soothe her. My stomach was alternately in my feet and fluttering in my throat, and I was pretty sure I was gonna have to throw up once this was all over. After what felt like the longest turbolift trip I've ever taken, I was finally in sickbay. "Doc?" "Yes, Mr. Paris? What seems to be the problem?" "I think she poked her eye." "Please put her down on a diagnostic bed. Ah, I see what you mean. Are you sure she did this to herself?" "We were really careful to only put soft things in her crib." The Doctor gave her a quick scan with his tricorder, then snapped it shut saying, "You're right. It does appear to be self-inflicted. This will only take a minute to fix." "Great." I felt a *lot* better knowing this would all be over in a minute. Chakotay showed up with the bottle and asked, "Is she okay?" "She will be. The Doctor agrees that she probably poked herself." Mere moments later, the Doctor pronounced her cured. "Some hybrid babies have coordination problems," he noted. "You may want to keep an eye out for further signs of coordination difficulties. This may just be an isolated occurrence, or it may be a sign of a problematic future." "What exactly would that problematic future entail?" I asked as Chakotay scooped Talia up and started feeding her. "Difficulty with hand/eye coordination, problems learning to walk, things like that. It's probably nothing. It's most common with Human/Klingon children. There's not a lot of data about Human/Bajoran children, but these problems are also not unknown among Bajoran/Cardassian children. Most often, if the problem is present, it will work itself out and go away by adulthood." "And there's nothing you can do about it?" "No." "Great. Um, is anyone using the sickbay bathroom right now?" "No." "Be right back." Now that the crisis was over, I needed to throw up. There was no way around it. I'm a puker. So I stepped into the bathroom, threw everything up in a couple of heaves, and immediately felt fine. Practice makes perfect. After rinsing my mouth out with water, I stepped back out. "Are you all right?" the Doctor asked. "You're white as a sheet." "I'll be fine." Chakotay just shot me an understanding look. He'd seen it enough times to know exactly what was going on. "How's she feeling?" I asked. "Eating like a pig," my husband replied. "Great. Thanks again, Doc." "You're welcome." The Doctor headed to his office, and Chakotay sat down on a biobed. "I don't want to walk and feed her at the same time." "Makes sense. Hey, do we have any plans tonight?" "No. Why?" "Because there's someone who has to meet the baby." "Who?" "Sandrine, this is Talia." "Ooh! Thomas, you naughty boy. You did not tell me you were having a baby. And she is so adorable!" "Well, Chakotay and I just adopted her a couple of days ago, so I thought you two should be formally introduced." "Hello little one," Sandrine cooed, tickling at Talia's tummy with her nails. "Oh, you have eyes just like Chakotay, and little dimples just like him too. Are you sure Chakotay played no part in this little girl?" "Actually, Geron was her father. You met Geron, right?" "Yes, I remember him. Poor man. But what a sweet little baby." Chakotay just smiled indulgently from a nearby table. Sandrine clucked her tongue and wiggled one of Talia's feet. "Such a cute little thing. I wish I could hold her." "Why don't you?" Chakotay asked. "That would not be wise!" she replied. "What if the power to the holodeck got cut off? The little one would go crashing to the ground." "Tom," Chakotay replied, "you're a better holoprogrammer than I realized." "I know." "Well Thomas, I give you my congratulations. Let me get you two some champagne. It is only synthehol, I am afraid, but it is the best that this hologram can offer." "Sandrine, you're a doll," I twinkled. Part 4 "Ahkoocheemoya..." We'd decided on a private ceremony after all. At least for now. The bigger, public ceremony would take place after B'Elanna and Donna's baby was born, and it would be for all the children on the ship. Three months didn't seem like too long to wait. Chakotay continued saying the sacred words and then fanned the smoke from the smudge stick across the room. Talia sneezed. With a sheepish look, Chakotay put the smudge stick in a bowl, checking to make sure the air currents in the room were blowing the smoke away from Talia's sensitive little nasal passages. "We are far from the bones of our ancestors, but invite them to join us in welcoming this new addition to the family that Tom and I have formed out here in the stars." Tickling Talia's nose ridges as she wiggled on her back on the floor, I said, "And we want to ask Rebecca and Geron, wherever they are, to know that we'll remember and honor them always. Talia is as much theirs as she is ours, if not more so." Chakotay picked up the jewelry piled in the middle of the room: Geron's earring and Rebecca's Star of David. Placing them on Talia's stomach, he said, "These are yours. The earring is Bajoran, from your father's culture. It is worn over your pah to honor the Prophets. The necklace is Jewish, from your mother's culture. It is a symbol of her ancestral religion, worn in pride to show their refusal to be stamped out of history. When you're older, we'll give them to you again so you'll always know where you came from. In honor of my culture, I give you this." He placed the dreamcatcher at her head. "This will help keep the bad dreams away. When you're older, I'll help you build a medicine bundle." "And this is from my family," I said as I put a silver pendant at her feet. "It's a four-spoked wheel. The wheel of the year. The spokes represent the four Earth seasons. It's an old symbol of my mother's family's religion. When you're older -- a lot older -- I'll help you pick out a ceremonial knife. No running with sharp knives, young lady," I chided. Talia just wiggled happily, enjoying being the center of attention and too young to get more exuberant about it than that. "Know always that we love you," Chakotay continued, being much better at this poetic stuff than me. "And know that you walk not only in the two worlds of your birth parents and the two worlds of your adoptive parents, but that you also walk in all the worlds of all the people on this ship. Your place is here, with us, and we love you." "We love you to pieces," I added, wiggling her little foot. Chakotay thanked and dismissed the spirits, we put away the jewelry, and he solemnly hung the dreamcatcher over her crib. Then, as a family, we headed for our bedroom and all three hunkered down on the bed for a nap. Donna went into labor early. Not too early, mind you. Just a couple of weeks. And not a moment too soon, if you asked her. She was *huge*. The whole ship waited on eggshells to hear how the delivery went. We weren't going to go to sickbay. We really weren't. But Talia managed to hurt herself again. She had a talent for really whacking herself hard in the face. Seems the Doctor's predictions of poor motor coordination were coming true. This time it was a doozy. Chakotay had been feeding her, and she had her hands on the bottle as well, and somehow she managed to rip it out of his hands and whack herself on the chin *hard*. She had a huge bruise, and her one little tooth had pierced right through her lip. So off we went to sickbay, screaming, bleeding baby in hand, only to hear Donna yelling at the top of her lungs from the other side of the privacy partition, obviously in the last stages of giving birth. Moments later we heard a baby cry, and B'Elanna gasped in joy. I thought I was going to cry. At that moment, I really envied them. Chakotay started to head for the partition, but I stopped him. "I can take care of this," I said. "I updated my medic training a few months ago, remember?" "Right." Kes headed out from behind the partition anyway. "I heard Talia crying. Is she all right...oh no! She's bleeding!" "Bit through her lip," I said sheepishly. "Poor little thing. Let me fix that right up, sweetie," she cooed as she grabbed some medical equipment and started treating the wounds with more efficiency and care than I could have mustered up. "How's the new arrival?" Chakotay asked excitedly. "Oh, she's a healthy baby girl. She's strong, and she's big, and she's got a thick patch of black hair and the most delicate little forehead ridges. They're practically a whisper of lines." "You make it sound poetic," I noted. "Babies are poetic," she replied. "Sometimes I envy you other species. I'd love to have children more than once. I guess there's just not enough time when you only live nine years." I looked at Kes's face, really looked at it, and it hit me that she looked so much older than when I'd met her three years ago. She was four. That was middle aged for her species. Fine creases fanned out from the corners of her eyes, and permanent lines were etched around her mouth in the pattern her face fell into when she smiled. Kes was getting old. "Don't worry about me, Tom," she said, sensing what I was thinking. "This is just the way I am. I have no regrets. There you go, Talia. All better." Chakotay picked the baby up and cradled her against him to comfort her. She was still a little shaken up, but started calming down as soon as she was in his familiar embrace. "Tom, Chakotay, is that you?" B'Elanna called out. "Yes," I replied. "Talia just hurt herself a little." "Want to see the baby?" she asked. We didn't need to be asked twice. Donna looked wiped, but exuberant. It was hard to think of the teeny form in her arms as a "big" anything, but I suppose she was big for a newborn. After all, she had to squeeze it out of her body. "Say hello to Chakotay and Tom," Donna crooned to her infant. We leaned forward and peeked at the teeny form in the blanket. Kes's description was right on the money. Faint Klingon lines danced across her Human-sized forehead, and a thick mop of black hair covered the top of her head. She was pink and blotchy and looked cranky as hell, but somehow she was still adorable. B'Elanna proudly stroked her daughter's cheek and said, "Everybody, I want you to meet Pandora." "Pandora. That's strangely appropriate," I noted. "That's why we picked it," B'Elanna beamed. "Is Talia okay?" "Oh, she's fine," Chakotay replied reassuringly. "Just another one of her self-induced injuries." "She really flails," I added. "Well, we should be leaving you three alone. Thank you for letting us see her," Chakotay added. "Chakotay?" "Yes Donna?" "Thanks for holding your public ceremony until Pandora was born. I'm really looking forward to it." "Just let me know when you're ready, and I'll do it." "We will." Three days later, B'Elanna flagged me down in the hall. "Tom, I need to talk to you." "Sure." "In private." "Private private?" "Yes." "Well, I'm heading back to my quarters, and Chakotay's about to go on duty, so I guess they'll be private in a minute." "Thanks." We headed through the doors just to see Chakotay finishing changing Talia. "Good timing!" I quipped. "You don't know the half of it," Chakotay groaned. B'Elanna shook her head hopelessly. "Is this what I have to look forward to? Bonding over diaper loads?" We just nodded, an air of resignation hanging over both of our heads. "Here you go," Chakotay said, handing a fresh and clean Talia over to me. "I'm on duty in a couple of minutes. See you later, B'Elanna." "Bye." I headed for the sofa and sat down, Talia sitting in my lap. B'Elanna looked over and asked, "She's sitting up on her own already?" "No, I'm holding her up. Watch." I let go, and she plunked backwards against my chest with an indignant squawk. Scooping a plush toy up off the floor, I handed it to Talia who grabbed it in her pudgy fingers and started chewing on it. "How old is she now?" "About four months. Not quite. B'Elanna, what's wrong? You're pacing." "I am? Oh. Right." She forced herself to sit down next to me and said, "I'm scared." "Scared?" "Tom, you know I had a nasty childhood. My father abandoned me and my mother didn't treat me so well. Well, she treated me like a Klingon mother, but I was too young to understand. I'm just scared that I'm going to turn out just like them. You had a bad childhood. How are you coping?" I let out a long breath. "Um, I'm just coping, I guess. I promised Talia that I wouldn't act like my dad and so far I haven't felt the urge. But she's still a baby. I don't know how I'm going to react once she starts moving around and talking. Trust me, I'm scared too." "I'm really afraid that my first instinct will be to yell at Pandora, or worse, to hit her." "I know exactly what you mean. Dad also had some weird mental games that he'd play with me to keep me afraid, and I'll hate myself if I catch myself doing it too." B'Elanna sighed and wrung her hands. "I know. I guess we'll see how we're really coping as soon as they learn to say 'no'." "Yeah." "Tell you what," she said, purpose lighting her eyes. "Let's always be available to each other to blow off steam. If you get really angry at Talia and feel like blowing up, find me, drag me to the holodeck, and scream bloody murder. I'll do the same." "You won't scream bloody murder, you'll hit things." "Same principle, different technique. Think it'll work?" "It sure as hell can't hurt." Talia started to cry. I looked down, afraid that she'd hurt herself again, and saw that she'd just dropped her toy. B'Elanna scooped it up and handed it back to her, and she promptly stuck it in her mouth again. "Shouldn't she have something a little harder to chew on for teething?" B'Elanna asked. I shook my head. "We tried giving her a soft plastic toy and she just managed to poke herself in the eye with it. She's a total klutz. Hopefully Pandora doesn't go through this." "I hope not too. I used to be really bad when I was little. I'd walk into walls, fall down stairs, stuff like that." "When did you grow out of it?" "Sometimes it feels like I haven't," she joked, "but seriously, at about age five or six." "Five more years of this," I muttered. "Can't wait for you to learn how to walk." "Wrap her in cotton." "I wish." "Well, I'd better get back to Donna and Pandora. Thanks for listening." "Hey, any time. You know that." "Yeah, I do." She leaned forward, kissed me, and headed back to her own little family. The day of the ceremony had arrived. Chakotay had gone ahead to the holodeck to set things up with B'Elanna, and I was hanging out in Donna's quarters with Talia. Pandora was eight days old and completely adorable. She was a *big* baby. Right now she was wearing the clothes that Talia was wearing when we adopted her, only they looked totally different on her. Talia was a fairly delicate-looking baby, but Pandora was a tiny tank. And when she cried, she really cut loose. I don't think I've ever heard such a loud baby in my life. In other words, she was definitely a product of Donna and B'Elanna's genetics. Pandora was happily snoozing in her mom's arms, and I was busy entertaining Talia by lifting up her little white dress and blowing raspberries against her stomach. It was the cutest little dress -- a hand-me-down from Spraxa and Kalla. Kes had made a pair of them, one in pale yellow, one in white. Right now, the yellow dress was folded away somewhere in these quarters, waiting for Pandora to grow into it. At the rate she was growing, she'd be wearing it in a couple of weeks. "She has such a cute giggle," Donna said. "I love watching her face when you do that." "There's just something irresistible about the feel of baby belly on your lips," I grinned as I went in for another phoot. "I can't wait for Pandora to get old enough to react to things. Right now she just cries and makes faces when she's gassy." "Yeah, but she'll hang on to your finger, right?" "Yeah, there's that," Donna said with a blissfully happy look on her face. "I don't know why I like that so much, but I do." "They've brainwashed us," I deadpanned. "Why else would we put up with all those diapers?" "Don't you wish you could just beam it out of their little butts before they had a chance to squeeze it into a diaper? I know there's probably some developmental reason why that's a bad idea, but still, it's really appealing." "Hell, I wish I could beam it out of *my* big butt..." A pillow collided with my head before I could finish the sentence. "New topic!" Donna announced. "All right, all right." "Hey, shouldn't we be leaving soon? It's just a few minutes until it starts." "Yep. Let's get this baby caravan on the road." With a last phoot, I scooped Talia up into my arms and we headed for the holodeck. Just about everyone was there when we arrived. The people that had to stay on duty would soon be listening in over a ship- wide comm channel. Chakotay had been thinking of holding the ritual in the messhall, but B'Elanna overruled that so the Doctor could attend. The setting was a grassy meadow on a sunny day, and everyone was sitting on the grass in a roughly circular formation. I looked around and saw just about all of my good friends, Harry being the only one missing. He'd volunteered to stay on the bridge. Harry Harry Harry...he'd really closed himself off. Someday someone would have to get through to him again. I headed over to where Chakotay was sitting, pausing for safety when the thundering feet of Kalla, Spraxa, and Spike went tearing by as they chased each other around the circle. "They're at a dangerous age," I said as I sat down crosslegged next to him. He just laughed and kissed me, then reached out to take Talia and wrap her in a big hug. "Here, take her back. I think everyone's here, and I want to start." "Got her." I balanced her on my knee, hands wrapped around her torso, and let her flail like a thing possessed. She was wide awake and in full wiggle-mode, so I felt it best to just let her rip. Chakotay looked around the holodeck and said, "Everybody's here, so we're going to start. When Tom and I became Talia's guardians, I asked Tom if he wanted to do a ritual to welcome her to the family. He then made the mistake of mentioning that the whole ship was really a family." Laughter rippled through the crowd. "So that's why we're all here. Voyager has become a giant family, and like any family, we have our ups and downs, our good days, and our raging family feud days, and like a family we have deaths and births. We've all come together to honor the dead, and now it's time to make sure we come together to welcome the new arrivals. I only wish we'd thought to do this sooner." He sat down, and B'Elanna stood up and took his place. "We weren't sure what kind of ritual to put together at first. We all come from so many different places and cultures that it would be impossible to do something to honor all of those without offending anyone. So we decided to leave it up to you. All the new arrivals will go around the circle, and you can welcome them however you see fit. Captain?" Janeway stood up, her long hair cascading down her back, and turned to Spike. "Melissa?" "Spike!" she yelled back as she proudly walked over to the Captain. "All right, Spike, then." Janeway knelt down in front of the little girl to get closer to her eye level. "You were our first new addition to the crew. We all vividly remember the day when you first joined us. It was a momentous day, in more ways than one, but when it was over, Voyager had its first baby." "That's me!" "Yes," Janeway laughed. "That's you. We're very glad to have you here, Spike. Can I have a hug?" Spike smiled and flung her arms around Janeway's neck. "Watch your spikes," Samantha chided. Janeway gave her a big squeeze and said, "She's being very careful. What a good girl." Spike let her go and then headed over to her mother again. Janeway turned to her left and said, "Spraxa? Kalla?" They walked together to the Captain, hand in hand. "You two came to Voyager two years after Spike, but that day was just as exciting for all of us." "We remember," Spraxa solemnly said. "You do?" They both nodded. "That's extraordinary. You both continue to amaze all of us, and we're so very glad you're here with us." She squeezed the two girls, and then sent them back to their parents. Turning to me, she asked, "May I?" "Of course." I handed my wiggly baby over. "My, you're energetic," Janeway smiled. "Talia, the early parts of your life were marked with such sadness. First your father died before you were born, and then your mother died suddenly when you were only a few weeks old. But you were lucky enough to have two good people who loved you and wanted to take care of you. We're so very glad you found them, and we're so very glad you're here." She gave her a little squeeze and then handed her back to Chakotay. Finally, Donna handed Pandora over to the Captain. "Pandora, you're our newest arrival. Just a few days old, and you're already bringing joy to your parents and to everyone who comes in contact with you. We can't wait to watch you grow up. Welcome aboard." The children were then passed around the circle, the older ones walking from person to person, and the babies being passed from one set of arms to the next. Each person said a few words, gave the child a hug, sang a short song -- whatever felt appropriate to welcome them into the Voyager family. The older three were positively basking in the attention, and the babies were surprisingly well behaved the entire trip through the circle. People were good about not monopolizing any one child for too long, so the entire ritual only took about half an hour. "Hey Spike!" I said when she got to me, ruffling her hair affectionately. "Hi Uncle Tom." "Welcome to the family, kiddo." As I was hugging her, I was jumped by Spraxa and Kalla, bowling me over onto the grass. "Watch it!" Spike thundered as she valiantly tried to keep from scratching me with her forehead. "I got sharp spikes!" "Sorry," the other two sing-songed guiltily. "Are you okay?" Spike asked as she put a chubby hand on either of my cheeks. "I scratched your face." "I'm okay. It just stings a little," I lied. It stung like a son of a bitch, but I wasn't going to tell her that. She'd gotten me across the bridge of my nose and my cheek, and I was pretty sure my nose was bleeding. Kalla dashed off to get a tissue from her mom while Spraxa peered at the cut on my nose. "Not too bad," she pronounced. "You should see the Doctor so you don't get infected." "You sound like your mother." "Thanks!" Kalla ran back and held a tissue to the cut on my nose. "I can do it," I protested gently. "No, it was our fault. We'll fix it, Unca Tom." "It's no big deal. Why don't you go see Chakotay now?" The trio thundered over to assault my husband. A couple minutes later, Talia was back. "Hi sweetie. Have you seen B'Elanna and Donna yet?" I handed her to Chakotay who handed her to them. "How's your nose?" he asked, peering at it intently. "Feels better." "You've clotted." "Good. I'll head to sickbay when we're done. Oh, here's Pandora. Hi sweetie. You're a big girl, you know that?" She just blew bubbles out of the side of her mouth and flailed aimlessly. "Well, welcome aboard. In about six or eight months, you and Talia will be the best of friends. Here you go, Chakotay." "Hi little one," he cooed. "Welcome to the big Voyager family." Now that all the children had made the rounds, Chakotay stood again and said, "Thank you all for coming. We'll do this again every time we add a new child to the Voyager family." The circle slowly started dispersing. "Okay Talia, time for your bottle," I said as I headed for the door. "No, time for sickbay," Chakotay reminded me. "Right...sickbay." Part 5 *Thud*. "Ow!" "Talia's awake," Chakotay murmured groggily in my ear. "You okay?" I called out. "Yes!" Seconds later, she clambered onto the bed between the two of us, clutching the toy shuttlecraft she'd gotten from B'Elanna yesterday at her fifth birthday party. She waved it around in the air making "vroom" sounds. "That's a great toy," Chakotay noted. "Yeah! B'Elanna's great." "Did you like your party?" I asked. "Yeah, it was fun. Can I go visit Pandora?" I squinted at the chronometer, which read 0637 hours. Ugh. "It's early. I don't know if she's awake yet," I protested. The door chimed and Talia dashed for it. "Who is it?" she hollered. "Pandora." Chakotay and I just looked at each other and shook our heads. "Can Pandora come in?" Talia yelled. "Of course," Chakotay replied as he sat up and groggily rubbed his face. The door opened and Pandora thundered into our quarters. "Hi Talia. Wanna get breakfast?" Chakotay wandered out of the bedroom in his rumpled pajamas and asked, "You're planning on going alone?" "No, BiBi is going with us." It still made me laugh every time I heard her call B'Elanna "BiBi". Somehow, Donna had become "Mommy" and B'Elanna had become "BiBi". Talia called us by our given names when she wanted to deal with us individually, but collectively we were "Daddy". "Where is she?" Chakotay asked. "She's getting dressed." "Okay then. Talia, why don't you go get dressed." "Hooray!" I heard two sets of feet run into Talia's bedroom, where the animated chatter between the two girls continued at a frenzied pace. Five years. I can't believe she's five years old already. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday that I was holding her in the mess hall while her mother went off to get some toast. We told her the whole story on her fourth birthday and showed her the jewelry. She took it pretty well, and every now and then she asks us questions about her birth parents and their cultures. Right now she seems more interested in getting a tattoo like Chakotay's. We told her she had to wait until her eighteenth birthday. The Doctor's predictions of clumsiness had definitely come true all right. She had the hardest time learning to walk without careening into things, and she seemed to have an endless progression of broken bones when she was three, but in the past year she'd been growing out of it, which was fortunate, because I didn't know how many more emergency trips to sickbay my stomach could stand. A lot happened in these past five years. Right after Talia's first birthday, Harry left. He met someone on an away mission and decided to spend the rest of his life with her. She was a true telepath, so they got to know each other intimately within a span of two days. She was the only person who had been able to really make him smile in years. Before Harry could go, the Doctor had to genetically alter him so that his new planet's atmosphere wouldn't be lethal to him -- five or six days' exposure was enough to kill a human -- so when he left, he was really gone. I missed him, but I honestly know he did the right thing. His picture has a permanent place in our gallery. I think Harry was the only person we'd lost since we adopted Talia. The Captain had decided to go the safe route: no more involvement in dangerous away missions or space battles unless there was literally no way around it. Sure, people continued to get injured, and two crewmates came awfully close to death, but other than Harry, no one was missing from Voyager. About a year after he left, we added the Dal-ei to the crew. Twenty three Dal-ei to be exact. Our crew shortage problems vanished immediately. We'd rescued them from their failed attempt at a lunar colony, and in gratitude they had pledged to spend their lives on Voyager assisting us in any way possible. Man, they were a godsend. They actually *liked* to do gruntwork. They *insisted* on doing it. In their spare time, they indulged in all sorts of artistic ventures, and the ship was now covered in beautiful tapestries and paintings and all sorts of other artsy things. We did have to make some modifications to the ship to accommodate them, though. They had trouble seeing the lower end of our visual spectrum, but saw really well in the infrared, so anything important that was marked in colors between deep blue and violet had to have an infrared component added to it so they could see it. Somehow, it made sense that a race of bright red people would see best on the red end of things. They were *literally* bright red, from the tips of their toes to the ends of their long red hair. We're talking true red. Bright true red. It hurt to look at them before you were fully awake. Chell pretty quickly fell in love with one of the Dal-ei, Meeka Tahl, and they married and had a baby. Yep, you guessed it -- red and blue make purple. Their little boy Lallo was bright purple with short fluffy red hair. Oh, and last year the Doctor triggered a false elogium for Kes so she could share it with Neelix. Man...six days. I didn't know if I should envy them or fear them. What a life. I sat up and scratched at the stubble on my chin. For once, it would be nice if Talia didn't wake up before our alarm went off. I stumbled out to the main room and plunked down on the sofa, listening to the frenzied chatter coming from my daughter's room and wondering just what the hell those two still had left to talk about. They were like that all the time. Someday soon they had to run out of things to say, right? The door chimed again, and Chakotay answered it. "Hi B'Elanna." B'Elanna walked in, her face a carefully controlled mask, but I could see the storm clouds brewing. "Hi Chakotay. Tom, got a second?" "Yeah, this way." I led her back into the bedroom and closed the door. She wheeled around and seethed, "If I hear Tonantzin say 'no' one more time..." Tonantzin was her two year old daughter, and she was giving new meaning to the phrase "terrible twos". "You got through it with Pandora, you'll get through it with Tonantzin." "Pandora was easier." "Consider her practice for Tonantzin." "And they never let me get any sleep!" "Us neither. Talia woke us up before Pandora stopped by." "How are you doing?" "I'm too tired to know. Feeling any better?" "Yeah, thanks for letting me vent. And if Donna asks me if I want a third kid, remind me that I'll have to live through the terrible twos again." "No problem. You really don't mind taking Talia to breakfast?" "No, not at all. I'd rather listen to those two chatter than be cooped up with a cranky two year old. Donna handles it way better than me." "Yeah, Chakotay coped with Talia's twos much better than I did." "I remember. It seems like you and I spent all our spare time breaking things in the holodeck." "It worked though," I countered. "Neither of us ever did anything we later seriously regretted." She laughed. "And the funny thing is, it rubbed off on Pandora. Now when she gets angry or frustrated, she'll just announce, 'I'm going to yell now!' and head to her bedroom to scream and rant and punch her stuffed animals until she walks back out, the utter picture of calm, saying, 'All better!' That kid cracks me up some times." "Let's go!" Pandora hollered from the next room. "The walking stomach has spoken," B'Elanna deadpanned. "I must obey." "Thanks for taking her," I laughed as we headed back into the main room. "Okay you piggies. Let's go," B'Elanna said as she herded them out of the room. As the doors opened, we saw a streak of purple squeal past the door, followed by Chell in hot pursuit. Lallo was running around naked...again. The girls giggled, then dashed for the turbolift. "We're alone," Chakotay said with an impish smile. "Don't give me that look!" I joked. He walked over, wrapped his arms around me and asked, "What look?" as he pressed his body against mine. "The one you're wearing now. You know, the one that implies that the bed isn't just for sleeping." "But it has a thousand and one uses," he teased as he led me backwards into the bedroom until the backs of my legs were touching the mattress. "Five years ago, I would have agreed with you completely. But now I barely see it enough to sleep, never mind any of those other thousand uses. I'm afraid that if I try to use if for other things, it'll take time away from my meager sleeping allowance." "I'm second in command. I can extend your allowance," he grinned as he pushed me back onto the bed. "Aw, kiss me, ya big lug," I gushed as I lay back on the pillows and pulled him down on top of me. We kissed slowly and luxuriously, not wanting to rush through our precious time together. Ever since Talia got old enough to climb out of her crib, we'd only been able to have sex if we foisted her off on a babysitter. Even our old lunchtime quickies had gone the way of the dodo, because we were usually so damn tired that we didn't have the energy to pull it off anymore. I used to take sex for granted before Talia. Now I recognized it as a gift of both time and energy. Chakotay slowly unbuttoned my pajama top. That was another thing that had changed since Talia came on the scene. No more sleeping in the nude. Some nights we just slept in shorts, but usually it was a full set of pajamas. Somehow it just felt more appropriate. Now his broad brown hands were roaming across my chest, lingering in all those spots I loved, hooking the waistband of my pajama bottoms and easing them over my hips. I rolled him onto his back and similarly divested him of his pajamas, and we gently kissed, our naked bodies entwined. I ran my fingers through his salt and pepper hair -- now more salt than pepper -- then smoothed my hand across the broad planes of his face. After all these years, I knew him so well that he even *felt* beautiful to me. Our lovemaking continued its gentle, unhurried pace, culminating not in a frenzy, but in a delicious glow, and when it was over we lay together, listening to the silence of each other's breathing. It was a nice kind of quiet, one we didn't get very often anymore. Grudgingly, I looked at the chronometer and said, "She'll be back soon." "We should get dressed." "I need a shower." "Okay, you first." 0750 hours. Time to drop Talia off at daycare. I waved at Kalla as we passed her in the hallway, and she waved and smiled back. She and her sister were the human equivalent of about seventeen, and they were both drop dead gorgeous. No one could keep a coherent thought when talking to them. I'd even seen the Captain's eyes glaze over when they were around. Their mother...well, Kes wasn't going to be with us much longer. Damn. Nine years in this life and that's all she gets. Neelix was completely devastated, but he'd been careful not to let it show around her. He was doing his best to be strong so her last memories would be pleasant ones. "Hey Carey, hi Donna. Your turn today?" I asked as we wandered in to the daycare center. Carey beamed. "I love doing this. Makes me miss my own kids a little less." "My turn comes up in two days, I think," Chakotay noted. "I have to check my calendar." Talia dashed past us and headed straight for the pile of blocks. She'd spend the morning here, and the afternoon in the "school". Tuvok and Spraxa ran that, and so far the only students were Melissa, who started classes at 0800, and Talia and Pandora, who were doing half-days for another year. Daycare duty wasn't too bad. There weren't too many children. A few too many two year olds, but one was too many in my opinion. Tonantzin and Lallo were two, plus there were a couple of little red kids who were almost two. Enrique was four -- he was Samantha's second child. She and Ayala had arranged to become co-parents because she had her hands full as a single mom and he missed his sons back home. Their arrangement had been working so well that they decided to have more children together, even though they weren't lovers. Enrique was the first, and there was a second boy on the way in a few months. "See you tonight," I called to Talia. She just waved absent-mindedly as she rooted through the blocks. The Captain, as usual, was already on the bridge. "There you are, gentlemen. Exactly on time and not a moment sooner." Chakotay just smirked at her and took his place by her side. "How's the mission going?" "Well, I think we've determined the cause of the seismic instability. There's a fairly ancient weapon buried below the crust of that planet, far older than should exist based on the technological level of sophistication of the inhabitants. It must be a relic left over from the race that conquered them a thousand years ago, and somehow, it's come back to life." "So there's hard evidence that the 'demons from the sky' legend is true?" I asked. "Oh yes. Actually, they provided other evidence about seven hours ago. It's not just legend. A thousand years ago, this planet was conquered by aliens from who knows where, and nine hundred years ago the native inhabitants of the planet rose up and slaughtered the conquerors. They've got all sorts of archeological evidence, including skeletons, wreckage, technology. It's quite clear that it's no myth. I've got Tuvok and Torres working on a solution to their seismic dilemma right now. I think Tuvok was disappointed to be torn away from his teaching duties," she noted with a wry smile. "Tuvok to Janeway." "Janeway here. What's the news?" "We have deduced a way to use the ship's phasers to deactivate the device without triggering a core explosion in its power source." "Do it. I'll tell the minister." Four hours later, we were being showered in gratitude. "Thank you so much, Captain Janeway," gushed the foreign minister. "We owe you our lives." "It was the least we could do," Janeway replied diplomatically. "I have spoken with the council, and we would like to give you a gift. It's right here on my desk," he said with a flourish. "You can use your transporter to take it now, if you wish." We all stared at the strange device sitting on his desk. I had *no* clue what it could be, but by the look on his face, he certainly thought it was something special. "Minister, what is it?" Janeway asked. "It is a space folder. The conquerors used it to cross a vast amount of space to arrive at this planet. Legend says that it can only be used twice. They used it once. We would like to give it to you so that you may use it to get home." Gasps broke out all over the bridge. Home? Did he say home? Gods, no... "Thank you, Minister," a rather shaken Janeway said. "I'll transport it right over and have my engineers take a look at it. It's a very generous offer. Are you sure you don't want it?" "No. We don't. We don't like to use the machinery that the conquerors left behind. And it is the best way we have to thank you for saving our planet. Please, accept it with our sincere gratitude." "Thank you. Wildman, lock on and beam it aboard." "This will work!" B'Elanna gushed as she looked up from her scans. "One shot only, he's right, but it has a range of 100 million light years. And it looks like it'll tie in really easily with our navigational controls, so we'll be able to determine exactly where we want to end up." Janeway looked excited enough to burst. "We'll use it tomorrow. I'll make a ship-wide announcement, same as the last time. I'll ask for amnesty for the Maquis and for Tom. Tom, you've been out here long enough for time served. I don't think there'll be any problem. Since we have no idea where the Federation's borders will be, I think the safest bet is to aim for Bajor and then take it from there." Chakotay put a steadying hand on my shoulder. "Are you all right?" Shit. I'm hyperventillating. "Um, yeah. I'll be fine. We need to talk to Talia and tell her *everything*." "I think there are a lot of parents who need to have that talk," Janeway mused. "You're all off duty. I'll call up replacements immediately and then make the announcement." A flock of parents descended on the daycare all at once. When we got Talia back to our quarters, we sat her down between us on the sofa, and Chakotay said, "We need to have a serious talk." "Am I in trouble?" "No, not at all. But something important is about to happen, and there are some things you should know." "Is this about the announcement? We're going back to the Alpha Quadrant?" "It looks like we are," I said. "If everything goes well, then we'll be there tomorrow. But if it does work, there might be some problems." Taking a deep breath, and looking to Chakotay for support, I said, "Before I was on Voyager, I was in jail." "Jail?" Talia squeaked incredulously. "Why?" Chakotay said, "You've heard of the Maquis." "Yeah. They're the people with the long pip, like you." "Yes, they are. But there's more to it than that. Back in the Alpha Quadrant, the Maquis were a group of people that were fighting to protect their home worlds from a government that was treating them badly. The Federation, the government of Starfleet, didn't like the Maquis and what they were doing, so they tried to stop us. I was one of the people fighting, and so was Tom, but Tom got caught and went to jail." "Are you both going to jail when we go home?" she asked fearfully. "Maybe," I said. "We don't know. I hope not, and the Captain is going to do everything she can to keep that from happening, but we wanted you to know now so you wouldn't be surprised." "If we do have to go away," Chakotay added, "someone will take care of you until we're back. If Tom goes back to jail, he'll be out again in another few months." "I don't want you to go to jail!" she cried tearfully as she wrapped her arms around my neck. "Oh Talia, I don't either," I said as soothingly as possible. "But if I do, it won't be long." Chakotay wrapped his arms around both of us and said, "We'll be together, no matter what it takes. Don't worry, Talia. We'll stay together." The next morning, Talia sat beside me on the bridge as we waited for the go-ahead from B'Elanna, whose elder daughter was also at work with her. No one wanted to be doing daycare duty right now. "Torres to the bridge. The device is on line. Ready when you are." "Mr. Paris, set a course for Bajor." "Course set in." "Ms. Torres, activate space folder." "Activated." "Mr. Paris, take us home." With a supreme effort of will, my hands keyed the commands into my console. The image on the viewscreen wavered, puckered, and then we felt the ship fling itself forward at incredible speeds. Talia clung to my arm for support, but it was over as quickly as it began. Double-checking the coordinates on my console, I said, "Approaching Bajor." "Ms. Wildman, open a channel to their main government." "Working. Channel open." "This is the Federation liaison office of the Bajoran government. Please identify yourself." "I am Captain Kathryn Janeway of the U.S.S. Voyager. We have been lost in the Delta Quadrant for eight years and just now managed to make it back." "I've heard of your ship. The Romulan government delivered some messages from you several years back. Welcome home. How can we be of assistance?" "Is Bajor currently part of the Federation?" "No, we've remained neutral." A smile flooded the Captain's face. "Wonderful. There's a lot I need to discuss with you before crossing back into Federation space, most of which has to deal with the Maquis." "The Maquis? But they disbanded when the colonies gained independence from Cardassia." Chakotay made a choked sound of elation, but did his best to keep it contained. "Has Starfleet made a policy of hunting down members of the Maquis to bring them to trial?" Janeway continued. "No, not that I know of." "I'd like to beam down and catch up with the last eight years of politics, then contact Starfleet. Is that acceptable?" "Perfectly. I'll make the arrangements and contact you when we're ready. It should take roughly an hour." "Thank you. Janeway out." Cheers erupted all across the bridge. Talia turned to me and asked, "No jail?" "Not for Chakotay, it seems. We still have to see about me." "Not to worry, Tom," Janeway beamed. "I'm sure it won't be a problem." Part 6 The Captain's optimism over my future was noticeably dampened by the time she and an ashen-faced Chakotay got back from Bajor. "Tom, sit down," she said gently as we entered her ready room. I sat across from her as she settled behind her desk, Chakotay sitting by my side. "Yes?" I asked, stomach already plummeting to my feet in anticipation of the bad news. "The Federation judiciary office has agreed to hold a parole hearing for you, but you're going to have to go back to prison for a few days until they have time to convene a committee. I offered to stay out of Federation space until it was time for your trial, but they ordered me to return to Earth immediately. I'm so terribly sorry." "It's not your fault. I'm sure you did all you could." "They assure me that if your record is as exemplary as I've told them it is, you'll definitely pass your outmate review. Still, I wish you didn't have to go back there at all." "I know. It's...it's all right. What about the Maquis?" "The Federation have dropped charges against all of them, and Starfleet is willing to consider confirming the commissions of some of the Maquis officers," Chakotay replied. "But there's something else." "What?" He swallowed hard and said, "Talia. She's part Bajoran, and the Bajoran government wants to find her family and see if they want to raise her. We aren't her legal parents..." "No, Chakotay, they can't do that!" I exploded. "Dammit, not her. I'd rather be in prison another year than have them take her away. Shit...I'm sorry." I struggled to bite back the tears, but it just hurt too much. She and Chakotay were everything to me. They were my family. Dammit, they had no right! Chakotay took me into his arms, and the Captain discretely excused herself from her ready room. As soon as she was gone, I really lost it. "Not Talia," I sobbed into his chest. "Goddammit, not her." "With any luck, the family will let us keep her," Chakotay murmured as he gently stroked my hair. "I'm just as scared as you are. I even cried on the Captain's shoulder back on Bajor as soon as the minister left her office. But with any luck, we'll get to keep her. I think this will turn out all right." "And we'll just go through the same thing again when we get to Earth." "Most likely, but we've had her for five years. I don't think the Federation courts will allow her to be taken from us. There's a long precedent for keeping non-biological family units together, so if we make it past this hurdle, we should be fine." "I'm sorry," I said as I struggled to collect my wits again. "I...damn, I shouldn't be falling apart that easily." "Yes you should," Chakotay said. "Talia's important." "Yeah. Oh gods, what a day. Prison and possibly losing my daughter," I said with a fatalistic laugh. "I never wanted to go home." "I know. But if we make it out of orbit with Talia still with us, the rest will be much easier to deal with." "You're forgetting my father." "Maybe, but still, I think Talia's much more important." "You're right. Chakotay, if they do want her back, will you stay with her? Unless I go AWOL, I have to head back to prison immediately." "Definitely. I won't leave her alone with strangers." "Good." The rest of my shift ticked by in agonizing slowness. All I could think about was how devastated I'd be if they took Talia away. For the first time in a very long time, I felt my self- destructive urge rear its ugly head. We had to have her leave the bridge and go hang around with B'Elanna and Pandora because every time we looked at her, we wanted to cry. Samantha broke my depressed reverie by announcing, "Captain, we have an incoming message from Bajor regarding Talia Geron- Kirby." "Put it through to my ready room. Gentlemen, come with me. Tuvok, you have the bridge." This was it. My heart was hammering in my throat so loud that I could barely hear anything. Chakotay tightened his arm around me, and we stood behind the Captain's chair, staring over her head at the screen on her desk. She activated the monitor, and a familiar looking Bajoran face filled the screen. "I'm Geron Irya, Geron Tobar's sister. He has a daughter?" "Yes, but he died before she was born," the Captain replied. "His Human wife died three weeks after she gave birth, and these two men have been raising her for the past five years." "So my brother never met her?" "No." "How did you know my brother?" Irya asked. "I was the captain of his Maquis cell." "You're Chakotay! He always spoke highly of you," she gushed. "And you?" "I knew him a little from the Maquis, but mostly he was my friend here on Voyager." Irya smiled and said, "Chakotay from the Maquis. And you've had her for five years?" "Five years." "Have you been teaching her about her Bajoran heritage?" "We've taught her as much as we can," Chakotay replied. "She's learned Bajoran history and as much of the religion as we know, and she has her father's earring. If you allow us to keep her, we'll be sure to bring her to Bajor to learn more." Irya sat back in thought for a moment, and I thought the acid would eat right through the walls of my stomach. Shit shit shit shit shit...if she doesn't say something soon I'm going to puke. Please don't take Talia. Please don't take her away from me. I can't live without her. Finally, she sat forward and said, "From what my brother told me of you, Chakotay, I know you're an honorable and trustworthy man. And my brother never met his daughter, so we have no right to take her from you after five years. It would just be cruel to you and to her. On behalf of my family, I officially relinquish any claims to her." I thought I was going to cry all over again. Chakotay wrapped me in a big bear hug, and I gasped, "Thank you." "Could I meet Talia?" Irya asked. "Now would be a bad time," Janeway replied. "We have to return to Earth immediately, but I'm sure Chakotay and Tom would be more than happy to return to Bajor with Talia once we clear up some issues there, including Talia's legal adoption." "I understand. I'm transmitting my official authorization to let the adoption go through, along with my address. Let me know when you're ready to come to Bajor, and the whole family will be waiting for you." "We will," Chakotay beamed. "And as soon as we get settled somewhere, we'll send you our address." "Thank you again," Janeway nodded. "Janeway out." She turned to us and said, "I'm so glad that went the way I hoped it would." "You're not the only one," I gushed. "Now all we have to deal with is a parole board," Janeway sighed. "Oh Tom, I'm sorry this trip back home is such a trial for you." "I'll survive. Just a few days in prison, an outmate review, and the inevitable confrontation with my father and I'll be home free." "In the meantime, I'm going to send the paperwork for your formal adoption through to Starfleet *ahead* of our arrival so it will have that much more time to be processed properly. You've had enough trials to wait through. Let's get this over with as quickly as possible so you can get back to your lives." Before leaving Bajor, we dropped a few people off both on the planet and on Deep Space Nine, and then Voyager took a side trip to the no-longer-Demilitarized Zone, an area now independent of both Cardassia and the Federation, but heavily populated by Federation citizens. A lot of people got off there, including most of the Maquis. B'Elanna and Donna were among them. Talia and Pandora said their tearful goodbyes, and then their little family beamed away to try and find their own families, promising to get in touch with us as soon as they were settled down anywhere. With them, they carried a message for Chakotay's family that contained a promise that he'd be back to see them soon. Ayala said his goodbyes to Samantha and their little brood, and promised to contact her as soon as he determined his own current family status. He hadn't given up hope of seeing his sons again, but wasn't sure if his wife had moved on to another lover in his absence. Then we set sail for Earth. Everyone was busy packing up their things, sending messages off to their families, and generally celebrating for all they were worth, but our little family wasn't quite so cheery. We explained to Talia that I'd be in prison for a few days, but then they'd let me out. What we didn't explain was that there was a chance I would have to stay longer if I didn't get parole, and that there was an even smaller chance that she'd be taken away from us. There's only so much a five year old should have to worry about, and we decided that it would be best to spare her that. If either became a reality, then we'd deal with it then. Earth was fast approaching. As much as I wanted to be the one to pilot us back home and into space dock, I knew that this time would probably be better spent with my family, and so did Janeway. She carefully chose non-parents for Voyager's final shift so that those of us with young children would be able to be with them and talk to them as we made the final approach to Earth, the destination that would change their lives completely. Chakotay, Talia and I walked into the observation lounge to watch the approach to Earth. I felt the ship drop out of warp, and knew that we were entering our solar system. Kes, Neelix, Kalla, and Spraxa were already there. Kes looked so old...it still shocked me every time I saw her. Neelix had his arm around her, helping her stand, and their daughters were staring out the viewports in rapt attention. "It's so beautiful!" Kes exclaimed as we passed Neptune. "That's Neptune, sweetie," Chakotay pointed out to Talia. Kes turned and smiled at us. "Your solar system is so beautiful." "There's Jupiter," Chakotay noted. "Oh, it's just amazing," Kes gushed. "I'm so glad I was able to see this." "So are we," I replied softly. "So are we." "We're getting closer," Chakotay said. Talia had her face smooshed against the port, straining to see it just a fraction of a second sooner than anyone else. "Why are we going so slow?" she asked. "It's not safe to travel quickly with all these planets around," Chakotay replied. "There it is -- Earth." I watched with trepidation as the blue globe got closer and closer, a trepidation mixed with an odd exhilaration. There was something about Earth that made all Humans feel like they were home, even if they had never set foot on the planet. It's where we all came from, and nothing seemed to be able to wipe that feeling of safety from our collective unconscious. "Pretty," Talia whispered. "It certainly is," Kes smiled. "I can't wait to actually visit it." You'll probably die here, I thought. Voyager crept closer and closer, and then established orbit. Looking down, I saw the familiar shape of New Zealand and realized that it was time to go. "Paris to Janeway, I'm on my way to the transporter room." "Understood. We'll see you soon, Tom. That's a promise. Janeway out." "Sickbay to Mr. Paris." Huh? "Paris here." "Please turn to your emergency medical holographic channel." With a shrug, I crossed the room and activated a monitor. "Thank you. Mr. Paris...Tom. I don't know what's going to happen to me now that we're back on Earth, so before you leave, I just wanted to say goodbye and good luck." "Thanks Doc. Good luck to you too. I'm sure you'll be fine." "I'm glad someone's sure of that. Frankly, I see no reason for them not to just wipe my program and be done with me." "The Captain won't let them. Trust her." "She won't, will she? Hm. That is reassuring. Well, goodbye. I'm sure you'll be free soon." "Thanks. See you around." Earth. We were home. And now I had to go to jail. They said it was only for three days, but it was still jail. I had to leave my uniform behind, but at least they weren't making me wear prison gray. I got to stay in the isolation wing for those three days so I wouldn't have to worry about the rest of the prison population. Other prisoners liked to make VIPs and other quick stays feel "welcome", so they thought I'd be safer there. Putting down my duffel bag of clothes and padds -- all of which had to be approved by the warden, of course -- I knelt down and gave Talia a big hug. "I'm gonna miss you, Daddy," she sniffed. "Just three days, sweetie, and you get to visit me every day." "I'll be there." Picking her up, I reached out with my free arm to hug Chakotay. The three of us clenched tightly to each other for a long moment, and then I handed Talia to him. "Three days," I promised as I stepped onto the transporter pad and back into hell. I materialized right outside the main gate. The entire complex had an anti-beaming field around it to prevent prisoners from being "rescued". Four guards, all with phasers drawn, awaited me. One removed my comm badge, then the warden stepped forward and said, "All right, put the phasers down." "Warden Riordan? You're still here?" I asked incredulously. "Yes I am," she replied. "And don't take this the wrong way, but welcome back. From what I hear, you'll only be a temporary guest. Give the sergeant your bag and let's head in." We progressed to the main prisoner processing area, chatting all the way. "You've certainly changed, Mr. Paris." "How can you tell?" "Just by the way you carry yourself. A warden gets good at telling when someone has truly reformed. You don't seem at all angry or defensive anymore. Seems that eight years lost in space has done you a world of good." "Actually, yeah. It has. It was probably the best thing that's ever happened to me." "Well, a lot of very high ranking people seem to think you have a good chance of getting out of here in just a few days. The outmate review is pretty much a formality, but a necessary one. We've bent the rules a little bit and are treating you like a prisoner awaiting trial rather than a sentenced felon. You get one hour every day for visitors starting tomorrow, and you don't have to mingle with the rest of the prison population." We entered the offices, and another sergeant stepped forward and started scanning my body for illegal items. Another one scanned my duffel bag. Opening it up, she pulled out several padds and handed them to the warden. "These need to be checked, ma'am." "I know that. Is he clean otherwise?" "Yes." "Right. Wait outside." The guards left, and Warden Riordan turned to me and said, "So, what's on the padds?" "The history of the Alpha Quadrant for the past eight years, a bunch of novels that I haven't read in a while, family pictures, and I think some surprise messages from my daughter." "You have a daughter?" "Adopted...not formally yet. My husband and I became her legal guardians five years ago when her parents died." "Tom Paris, responsible family man," she grinned wryly. "Can I see the pictures?" "Sure." I grabbed the appropriate padd and called up a family picture of the three of us taken on shore leave two years ago. "Here." Riordan smiled at the picture. "You all look so happy. What are their names?" "My husband is named Chakotay. He's from Dorvan V. And she's Talia. Talia Geron-Kirby. We wanted her to keep her birth parents' names." "Is he Chakotay Paris?" "No, just Chakotay." She smiled and handed the padd back to me. "You've got a lot waiting for you on the outside. You'll be back out there soon. These padds are fine. I trust you. Let me show you to your room. It will be locked, but that can't be avoided. You'll be on the isolation wing, but we'll provide you with a communication device to my office, just in case of an emergency, plus you'll be in control of your own lights out. Isolation can be hard." "Yeah, but I've handled it before, and I've got stuff to keep me busy." "I know, but you've had the galaxy as your playground for eight years. Isolation will only be that much harder to bear after all that freedom." "I'll cope." Cope. That's about all I could do. As soon as the door clanged shut, all the smells and echoes of the place brought a flood of memories back to me. It was as if I'd only been away for a couple of days. Suppressing a shudder, I sat down on the bed and pulled out the padds. It wasn't really such a bad room. Pretty big, as far as isolation rooms went, and the toilet and sink were behind a partition, so I didn't have to look at them all the time. As I was about to close the bag, my eye was caught by a flash of pink. Reaching in, I pulled out Talia's old stuffed bunny. She must have put it in there when I wasn't looking. With a grin, I carefully set the bunny down on the bed and turned my attention back to the padds. Talia had recorded a message for me for all three days. It was actually going to be more like four, but today was almost over. I decided to watch the first message now. Picking up the padd she'd given me, I switched it on and scrolled to entry marked "first day". Talia's face filled the screen, and it suddenly hit me hard how much I missed her already. "Hi Daddy," she said cheerfully. "So you feel like you're home, I'm gonna sing my favorite song. Ready? Okay. Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts..." I laughed as I watched her bounce around and sing at the top of her lungs. Of all the songs...Talia learned it from Melissa, who learned it from me, and she thought it was the greatest thing. She'd run around our quarters singing it again and again and again, sometimes with Pandora singing along just as loud but in a different key. Chakotay and I would just grit our teeth and smile and say how lovely it was and could they sing something else, and after one round of "The Laughing Vulcan and His Dog," they'd be singing the gopher guts song again. I never realized how much I'd miss that song. "All done!" she cried. "I miss you, Daddy. See you soon. I love you." The program ended and shut off. I kissed my fingers, pressed them to the screen, and whispered, "I love you too." Morning. It had been a hard night. Not only was I not used to sleeping alone, but all the smells and sounds of prison brought back a host of old nightmares. Even the scent and feeling of the sheets and the mattress caused me to panic. Just two more nights. I could survive two more nights. After eating a breakfast just like all the prison breakfasts I'd eaten in the past, I rewatched Talia's song, then picked up the history padds and caught up on what we'd missed when we were lost in space. The Dominion...Changelings...Klingons...it had been a turbulent eight years. Things were calm again for now, but relations were tense with nearly all our former allies. Relations with the Romulans were pretty good, comparatively speaking, and they'd delivered our messages to the Federation six years ago. Time for the gopher guts song again. Lunch made me long for Neelix's food. It wasn't so much that it was bad food, but that it was prison food, another reminder that I was locked up like the criminal I was. No, had been. Just two more nights, three more days. I can handle it. I've handled worse. The warden peered through the window of my door. "Paris? You've got a visitor." "Just one?" "Just one." Shit. It was probably my father. This wasn't how I wanted to meet him again. Standing up, I brushed my hands over the wrinkles in my clothes and then ran them through my hair. If I had to see him like this, I wasn't going to look sloppy or defeated. Following the warden, I tried my best to push back the feeling of impending doom that got bigger and bigger with every step I took. We finally got to the door marked "Visitors", and the warden indicated that I go in there alone. Steeling my shoulders, I braced myself for the inevitable. Looking at the slight figure in the middle of the room, I gasped, "Mom?" "Tom..." she said tentatively. "Oh Mom." I rushed forward to hug her, and the two of us squeezed together desperately. "Mom, I missed you," I whispered through my tears. "I missed you too, son," she whispered back. "I hear you've done well for yourself." Letting go, I took a good look at her. She was older, but looked really well. Other than the massive cloud of guilt hovering over her, she'd never looked better. "How are you doing, Mom?" "I'm fine, dear, but first I want to hear about you." We sat down on one of the long benches, still holding hands. "Well, I'm married, and I have a daughter." "That's wonderful," Mom gushed. "Tell me more about them." "Well, my husband's name is Chakotay, and he's an ex-Maquis from Dorvan V." "He's the one whose cell you joined and were sent to track down, wasn't he? Quite a handsome catch," she twinkled. "Oh Mom," I blushed. "And our daughter is adopted. Not legally yet. We're her legal guardians. Her father was Bajoran, and his family has consented to let us legally adopt her. Now we just have to clear things with the Federation. Her name is Talia, and she's five years old." "I can't wait to meet them," Mom gushed. "Are they Parises?" "No, I couldn't do that. Chakotay is just Chakotay, and Talia still has her parents' last names -- Geron-Kirby." "Well, I'm not sure how you'll feel about this, but I'm not a Paris anymore." "Really? You left Dad? That's great!" "I'm so glad you see it that way. You always had such a hero complex about him, despite how he treated you. When your messages were delivered by the Romulans, I felt more hope than I had in years and finally had the courage to leave him. Tom, I should have done it when you were little. But I was so scared of him. I'm so sorry I didn't get you out of there. I can't help but feel responsible for everything that's happened..." "Mom, don't blame yourself. I don't blame you. Maybe when I was little, but when I got older, I saw how he terrorized you too. I'm only sorry I didn't get you out of there when I was old enough to do something." "Oh Tom..." She struggled to compose herself, then said, "Well, like I said, I'm not a Paris anymore. I'm a Maguire again and I'm living with my aunt Kathy." "How is Aunt Kathy?" "Oh, she's doing great. So is Aunt Martha. They still live next door to each other and go off drumming in the woods on weekends. When you get out of here, you and your family are welcome to stay with us. They can't wait to see you again, but they said they didn't want to see you in this setting. They want to see you when you're free. I think they're casting spells to aid your outmate review as we speak." "Then getting out should be a breeze," I laughed. "Um, what's up with Dad, anyway?" "Well, he was a fairly high-ranking admiral at the time I asked for the divorce. He fought it, but my aunts backed me up every step of the way. When my testimony of his abuse was made public, his career was effectively over. They haven't kicked him out or stripped him of his rank, but politically, his career is over." "Good. His career was the only thing he really cared about. Serves him right." "I don't want to talk about bad things, dear. I haven't seen you in a very long time, and I want to spend this time catching up." The warden poked her head in. "More visitors." Chakotay and Talia walked in, and Talia squealed, "Daddy!" and zoomed forward to give me a big hug. "Oof...I missed you sweetie," I said as she attempted to squeeze all the life out of me. "Sorry we're late," Chakotay said as he came forward and planted a kiss on my lips. "Starfleet has been picking my brain ever since we got back, and I had to weasel my way out of a pretty big meeting to get here." "Did you read my first message?" Talia asked. "Three times," I replied. "And I'll read the second one tonight before bed." "Okay." "Thanks for the bunny, sweetie." "I thought you might get lonely, so I put her in there for you." "Talia, Chakotay, I want you to meet my mother, Charlotte Maguire, no longer of the Paris clan." She beamed at Chakotay. "So, you're my son's husband. That makes you my son-in-law. Welcome to the family." She gave him a big squeeze. "Tom's told me all about you," Chakotay beamed back. "I'm glad I finally get to meet you." "And Talia, I'm Tom's mother. Do you know what else that makes me?" "Um...my grandmother?" "Yes, I'm your grandmother. Can I have a hug?" "Okay!" she cried as she launched herself at her. "My, you're an enthusiastic hugger," Mom exclaimed. "I've never had a grandmother before," Talia gushed. "No one on Voyager had a grandmother." "Well now you do. Now you have a big family who loves you." "Neat." The visit was over far too quickly. An hour really sped along when it was all that you had. I could tell that my mother absolutely adored Chakotay and Talia, and they seemed to like her as well. Chakotay and Talia promised to be there on time the next day, and we all hugged and said our goodbyes. Then it was back to my cell for dinner and more padds. I played the gopher guts song again, then opened the second message. "Hi Daddy. I'm gonna tell you a story." Chakotay was big on storytelling, and seemed to have passed the bug on to Talia. "One day, there was a family living on a ship that was travelling all over space. All the adults on the ship were always talking about going home, but all the kids were already home because the ship was their home and they really liked it there and all their friends were there. Then one day, the ship got home and everything got sad for all the children because their friends went away and one of them had her daddy go to jail. He wasn't a bad man, but maybe he had done something bad a long time ago and got into trouble. The little girl missed her daddy very much, and was glad that her other daddy got to stay with her. She waited three long days and thought about her daddy in jail all the time. And when the three days were over, he was set free and they lived happily ever after. She still missed her friends, but she had her daddies. Love you, Daddy." Cuddling her stuffed bunny, I shut off the lights and went to sleep. Day three. Still didn't sleep well, but at least my stay was now half-way over. Talia and Chakotay were on time, this time accompanied by Janeway. So with Talia on my lap, they filled me in on all the details of what had been happening. Starfleet was poring over every inch of Voyager and her records, compiling a map of the Delta Quadrant and cataloging all the technological advances we'd made. B'Elanna was being hailed by Starfleet Engineering as some sort of hero, and they were desperately trying to get her to come back to Starfleet to teach them some new tricks. Not only were they intrigued by the space folder, which had unfortunately destroyed itself during the trip back, but they were also looking into practical development of warp ten technology using ships that automatically irradiated the crew at the end of each successful trip. The Doctor had been declared sentient by Starfleet, and they had a team of engineers, lead by none other than Data, working to create a mobile holographic system for him. But that was probably months away from completion. And the records definitely confirmed what Janeway had been telling them about my service record. She was convinced that the outmate review would go smoothly. "What about Mark?" I asked. "Oh, he waited for me," Janeway replied with a frown. "That's bad news?" "I really hoped he hadn't. I've changed so much, and going back to him would be a giant step backwards. You know I don't like to go backwards. But I've got Bear back," she said with a smile. "Damn, I missed that dog." "I met Bear," Talia proudly announced. "He's big, but I wasn't very scared." "Bear adores children," Janeway noted. "Oh, and I saw your father." "Um...how's he doing?" "He's looking old. Chakotay told me about the divorce. I don't think divorced life is agreeing with him." "It's certainly agreeing with your mother," Chakotay noted. "Yeah, I'm really glad she did it," I added. Janeway just cast me a puzzled glance. "I thought your parents were a charming couple." "Let's just say that Dad was good at insuring compliance," I said. I saw comprehension dawn across her face, and could feel the fury building up in her like a terrible wave. "I never knew," she said through clenched teeth. "I respected him." "I know. That's why I never told you." With a snort, she handed me a padd. "He gave me this. Do you want it?" "Um...yeah. Thanks." Turning it on, I saw it contained only one small file. When I opened it, all it said was, "Welcome home." I shrugged and showed it to the other two. Janeway read it and snarled, "He's got a lot of nerve." "What?" Talia asked. Chakotay quickly changed the subject. "The adoption looks like it'll be final as soon as you're out of here and can sign a few papers. Rebecca's immediate family all seem to be dead. She didn't have any siblings, and her parents died in an accident a few years back. They're still trying to locate any aunts or uncles or cousins but without much luck. Seems she had a very small family. But even if they do find some distant relative, they can't stop the adoption. So now it's just a matter of getting the paperwork through the bureaucracy." "Tomorrow is your last day?" Talia asked hopefully. "Yes, tomorrow is my last day in here. Tomorrow morning there'll be a meeting, and when it's over, I get to leave. I liked the story you put in the padd for me. I read it right before I went to bed." "I'm glad. Oh, Pandora called! We're gonna visit them after you get out of jail!" "I was thinking it might be nice to settle down near them," Chakotay added. "We can talk about it more later, but it sounds like a great place to live." "I didn't even think about that yet..." "No rush." Janeway put her hand on my knee and said, "When you get out of here, I'm going to ask that Starfleet accept your field commission. I don't think they'll argue. If you want to come back to Starfleet, you're more than welcome. I'd love to have both of you on my crew again." "They accepted your promotion?" I asked my husband. "Yes. They even promoted me to full commander. I don't know if I'm keeping it, but it certainly feels nice." "Captain, I'd only want to stay in Starfleet if I could get posted to a family ship. I don't ever want to leave these two again." "I understand. There's always space station postings. Just keep it in mind, Tom. It's an option that will be open for you, if you want to take it." "Thanks." The warden opened the door. "Hour's up. Sorry." "That's all right." I stood up and gave Chakotay and Talia a big squeeze. "See you tomorrow at the review." "Until tomorrow." "Love you, Daddy." "I love you too." One last night and then it would be all over. I played the gopher guts song a couple more times, and then I started the final message. "Hi, Tom." It was Chakotay. "One last night and then we'll be together again. I never thought my life would be like this. I never thought I'd be sending a letter to my jailed husband while trying to keep our adopted daughter from wallowing in despair. You know how I always envisioned my future. I'm glad it didn't turn out the way I planned. I just wish things had been easier for the two of us. But we've gotten through worse, and we'll get through this. Hang in there. Tomorrow we'll be a family again. I love you." Talia climbed onto his lap and said, "I love you too, Daddy. See you tomorrow." With tears streaking down my face, I deactivated the padd and turned out the lights. Part 7 Morning. Time for the parole review. Damn, I was nervous. Everyone had assured me that the hearing would go smoothly and I'd be a free man in a few hours, but I wasn't 100% convinced. Anything could go wrong. And then I'd be back in confinement, away from the family I'd so painstakingly built over these past eight years. I don't know if I could survive another year in here. Not when I had so much to lose. Right, got to look good. I pulled out the conservative outfit I'd brought for this day and put it on. Dark blue shirt, black pants -- respectable, not flashy. Had to look reformed, like a responsible family man with a distinguished Starfleet career. When breakfast came, I gulped down my coffee and didn't touch anything else. I was too damn nervous to actually eat anything. Then I packed everything back into my duffel bag and waited for the warden. She was there at 0755 hours, sharp. "You packed?" she asked. "Yeah, but I wasn't going to bring my duffel bag with me. I don't want to look too cocky for the parole board." "Minelli, take his bag," she said, gesturing to the guard that accompanied her. "Minelli will hold it for you and give it to you once the hearing is over. Come on, let's go." "Right." "Nervous?" "Yeah." "Don't be. You're home free." "I can't let myself believe it until it's certain." "I can't say I blame you. Well, here you go. Good luck, Mr. Paris." She reached out and shook my hand. "Thanks." Taking a deep breath, I was ushered through the door to the room where the parole board awaited me. The warden showed me to my seat, and I sat down nervously. Janeway and Tuvok were sitting in front of the board, waiting to testify, and Chakotay and Talia were waiting on the far side of the room. Talia waved silently, and I gave her a little wave and a smile back. Time to look confident for my daughter. Confident, not cocky. Damn, I was nervous. I wiped the sweat from my palms and concentrated on breathing evenly. "Let the outmate review begin," the woman at the center of the table intoned. "This hearing is to determine whether Thomas Eugene Paris, who was sentenced to eighteen months in prison for treason, should be allowed to leave, having served only seven months of his sentence. I understand it is the contention of Starfleet that his service aboard the U.S.S. Voyager should serve to show that Mr. Paris has rehabilitated himself and thus should count as time served?" "Yes it is," Janeway replied with that comforting air of authority she carried so well. "The board has examined the records from the U.S.S. Voyager pertaining to Mr. Paris. The first two years of his service were fairly spotty, but the last six show marked improvement. Are these records accurate, Captain Janeway?" "Yes, they are." "Lieutenant Commander Tuvok..." Whoa, he'd been promoted too. "...do you also agree that these records are accurate?" "Yes, I do." "And do you feel that these records indicate that Mr. Paris is fit to be released into society?" "Yes, I do. Mr. Paris is indeed a responsible citizen, a good parent, and above all, a fine officer. I most wholeheartedly assert that he does not belong in prison." Oh Tuvok...thank you so much. Coming from a Vulcan, those words are bound to impress the parole board. Renewed hope surged through me. I had to force myself not to look at Talia and Chakotay, because I thought I might cry. The three members of the board spent a few moments speaking quietly to each other, then said, "Mr. Paris?" "Yes?" "The review board has looked over your service records for the past eight years, and have decided that we agree with Starfleet's assessment of your case. We hereby commute your sentence to time served. You are a free man." Free man... I lowered my head down into my hands and started to cry. Chakotay and Talia were at my side mere moments later and wrapped me up in a huge hug. "I knew you'd be freed," Chakotay murmured. "I knew it." "Don't cry, Daddy." "I'm sorry sweetie. I'm just so happy." "It's okay, Tom," Chakotay crooned. "I don't think there's a dry eye in the house, except maybe Tuvok's." I looked up at his teary eyes, then over to Janeway, who was smiling proudly through a sheen of tears. "Congratulations, Tom." "Thanks." "Don't thank us. It was your hard work and dedication that won you this release." "Come on, Tom. Let's get out of here," Chakotay murmured. "Your mother's waiting for you." The three of us exited the room flanked by Janeway and Tuvok, and were immediately greeted by more than just my mother. Kes, Neelix, Kalla and Spraxa were there -- Kes looked even older than she did three days ago. And Samantha, Spike, and Enrique were also waiting for me. Mom ran forward and wrapped me in a big hug. "I knew you'd be free, son. I knew it." "That was so quick!" Samantha noted. "Are outmate reviews always that quick?" "I don't know. I've never been to one before." Janeway clapped a hand on my arm and said, "Something tells me that they'd already made up their minds *before* the hearing." My mother squeezed my other arm and said, "Come on, son, let's go home. Your aunts have planned a big party for your and your friends. I've got an aircar waiting." Tuvok stepped forward and said, "I regret I cannot attend the festivities. My wife T'Pel has just arrived on Earth, and it is imperative that we spend time together immediately to see if our marital bond can be salvaged." "Tuvok, if I can help..." Kes offered. "Thank you, but that will not be necessary." "I just feel responsible somehow." "If it were not for you, I would not be alive today to see my wife again. I thank you for giving me that opportunity, and I thank you, Neelix, for allowing it." Kalla and Spraxa turned to him, and Spraxa said, "If everything works out, we'd very much like to visit you on Vulcan and learn more about that part of us." Tuvok turned to Neelix, who nodded. "I look forward to that opportunity. Mr. Paris, if you would excuse me?" "Tuvok, thanks so much for everything. I hope things go well between you and T'Pel." "As do I. Good day." "Mr. Chakotay? Mr. Paris?" We turned to see a young woman with a collection of legal padds standing just outside the gaggle of friends. "That's us," Chakotay replied. "Sorry to intrude on your gathering, but I'm here from the Federation Adoption Board. I have some documents for you to sign." "Trust me, you're no intrusion," Chakotay said with a huge smile. "Are these the final papers?" "Yes they are." "Just show us where to sign." She handed us five padds, each with about four places to put our signature and thumbprint. "That's it," she said. "It's official. This is your copy." Bending over, she asked, "Are you Talia?" "Yes." "Congratulations, honey." She looked up at us and said, "I'm really adopted now?" "Yes you are," I replied. "Oh yeay!" She squeezed her arms around both of our waists. The woman discretely slipped away. "That's such great news!" Samantha gushed. "Today's really just been your day, hasn't it?" "One of the best in my life, I'd say." "Well, let's go," Mom said. "Your aunts are waiting, and you know how you mustn't leave them to wait." With a laugh, I started to follow her, but stopped when I caught a figure out of the corner of my eye. Dad? I turned around and there he was, standing alone in the distance, looking very very old. I just stared incredulously for a moment, not knowing what the hell to do, until without a word, he turned and slowly walked away. Right, I wasn't going to let him ruin my day. After an hour in the air, we finally arrived at my great- aunts' places in Georgia. They'd lived next door to each other all their adult lives in the houses left to them by their great-aunts. The houses stood in front of the Maguire family grove, a grove that the women of the Maguire family had supposedly tended for centuries. Neither of them had ever married, instead preferring to have a seemingly endless series of lovers come and go from their lives. I remember asking them about that when I was at the Academy, and they just smiled and said they valued their freedom more than any lover. Man, I missed them. When we landed, there they were out on the front lawn -- Great Aunt Kathy with her wiry frame and long silver mane, and Great Aunt Martha with her tall, stout body and close-cropped hair. They hadn't changed a bit. They were still two old battle axes who knew how to have a great time. For women pushing ninety years old, they looked absolutely amazing. "There you are!" Aunt Kathy gushed as she ran forward to hug me. "I knew you'd make it! My sister and I have been casting spells in the grove for the past three days. The timing was perfect. We had a full moon and everything." "Come here and give your Aunt Martha a kiss," my other aunt said as she wrapped me up in her huge frame. She was as tall as I was, and had shoulders that put mine to shame. "We're so glad you're back." "I missed you both. I really did." "And is this the handsome husband we've heard so much about from your mother?" Kathy asked. "I'm Chakotay," he smiled. "Which means you must be Talia," Kathy added. "That's me." "Well, we're your great, great aunts. Do you know what that means?" "No." "It means that we're the sisters of your grandmother's mother." "Wow." "Oh, she's adorable," Martha said with a huge grin. "Come on everybody, let's go out back and eat and we'll continue the introductions back there." My aunts quickly fell in love with Chakotay. In him they sensed a kindred spirit. Not only did he also talk to the dead and walk in the spirit world, but he had a wicked sense of humor. Talia also quickly wormed her way into their hearts. They were fascinated with the amazing mix of traditions contained in this one little girl, and congratulated us for managing to raise her to understand and honor all of them. But their thoughts quickly turned to Kes. Kathy took me aside and said, "I'd like to talk to you privately." "Sure." We walked off into the woods, passing Kes as she sat in awe in the middle of the sacred grove where my aunts and their ancestors before them had worked magic for generations. When we had gotten sufficiently far away from Kes, Kathy turned to me and said, "Your friend Kes fascinates and worries me. She's had such a short life." "She's Ocampa. They only live nine years. She's nine years old." "She's not doing well, is she?" "No." That came out more ragged than I realized. "She's been holding on for too long, Tom. She needs to let go. Her soul is all worn out." "What are you suggesting?" "I want to talk to her and see why she's still hanging on. I can tell that her heart's not in it, that she's doing it for other people and not for herself. Do you think I can talk to her husband?" "How can you tell all this?" "You know I've always been somewhat empathic for a Human, and my guess is that Kes is a telepath." "Yeah, she is." "Well, she's broadcasting loud and clear on all frequencies. It's time for her to die, and if she'll let us, my sister and I would like to be there for her." "What do you mean?" "A death ritual, Tom. Tomorrow night, if she wants to. She'll die as soon as she gets permission, I'm sure of it." "This is...this is just..." "Weird? Just say it, Tom. It is weird. But I think it's what she needs. She has a really beautiful soul, and I want to be there for her if she wants us." "Um, sure, talk to Neelix. He's kinda overemotional, so break it to him slowly." "Oh, I think he knows. You'll know too if you're ever in that situation with Chakotay, but Fates willing, you won't have to face that for decades to come." Suddenly, from the house, we heard Aunt Martha start swearing up a blue streak. "You've got a lot of goddamn nerve calling this house, you good for nothing dick head!" "What the hell?" Kathy said as she headed for the house with me at her heels. "I just want to talk to my son." "Why the hell do you think he'd want to talk to you?" she hollered back. "After the way you treated him all these years, I wouldn't be surprised if he'd rather take a baseball bat to you. Hell, I'll *give* him the damn bat!" "Martha, no," I said. "Let me handle this." "Are you sure? Don't let this fucker dare you into talking to him." "I'm sure. I have to do get this over with." "Well, all right. Kathy and I will be outside. Just yell if things get nasty. And I'm recording the call, just in case you want to report this to the authorities." She and Kathy slowly moved away, and I nodded to let them know that I would be all right. Positioning myself in front of the screen, I said, "Make it quick." "Son, I hear you got out of prison." "Yep." "Sorry I never visited." "I wouldn't have wanted you to," I snapped tersely. "Look, son, I realize we had a rocky past..." "Rocky? You call child abuse rocky?" "Let's not exaggerate now, son..." "Stop calling me that! You have no right! What the hell did you ever do for me except terrorize me? Huh? What? Why the hell should I forgive you?" "I did what I thought was right. Seems the court disagreed with me when you mother was asking for that divorce. But son, I was just trying to teach you discipline, to make sure you grew up right." "Well tough shit. I grew up right *despite* you. If it weren't for Janeway and my husband..." He winced. "Yeah Dad, *husband*. I married a guy. I think you're the last person alive who thinks that's disgusting. You know something, I almost feel sorry for you. Get the hell out of my life." With that, I reached over and broke the connection. Wrapping my arms around myself, I tried to stop shaking. I'd finally done it. I'd finally told my old man off. I think I'm gonna be sick. "Tom?" Chakotay said as he stepped into the room. "Are you all right? Your Aunt Kathy told me that he called." "I think so. At least that's over with. I don't think I resolved anything, though. Damn." He took me in his arms and held me quietly until my pulse stopped racing. "You're not obligated to resolve anything. You never have to see him again if you don't want to." "I don't want to." "That's that, then. Come on, let's go back outside. Everybody's worried about you." "I'll be fine." The rest of the party was more upbeat. Well, except for the news that Samantha's husband had remarried a year ago. She seemed to be okay about it. He still wanted to meet his daughter and be a part of her life, so Samantha and Melissa were going to head out to see him and his new wife in a few days. Since Ayala was still out in the former DMZ, Enrique would be going along for the ride as well. I saw my aunts take Neelix aside and walk with him in the woods, knowing what the conversation entailed and hoping he took it well. Kes was sitting with her daughters, staring at the fire burning in the fire pit, and I headed over to talk to her. "Hi." "Hello Tom." She smiled sweetly. Even though her face had aged, her smile had never changed. "Your aunts are really wonderful women, and their grove is the most magical thing I've ever felt. You're really very lucky to have them." "I know." "A lot of people are worried about me tonight. I can tell." "We care about you, Kes." "I know. Everything will be all right. Things always work out in the end." "Mom, are you cold?" Spraxa asked. "No darling. I'm fine." Kalla looked up at me sadly, and I just smiled as best I could. Neelix and my aunts headed back, and I could see the look of clear purpose on his face. The next night, we gathered to help Kes die. Neelix, Kes, and my aunts had sat down together to talk last night, and Kes was in agreement with them 100%. She'd been thinking about letting go for a while now, but then the trip back to the Alpha Quadrant happened. She wanted to live long enough to see Earth. Then she found out about my prison stay, and wanted to live long enough to see me freed. Then she wanted to hang on just a little longer so my day of celebration wouldn't be tainted with the memory of her passing. She was ready to die, and was honored that my aunts wanted to dedicate their time and their grove to her final moments. She spent the afternoon with her immediate family and talking to the Holodoc at Starfleet Medical over the vidphone while the rest of us moved quietly around the house. Janeway had gone back to her home to spend the day with her dog, and promised to return that evening with Bear and Tuvok. Samantha and her brood went off to spend the day with family, but Samantha would be returning alone that evening. Now we just had to tell Talia what was going on. "Talia," I said. "We need to talk to you." "It's about Kes, right?" "Right, sweetie. Kes is very old for someone of her species. She's nine, and no Ocampa lives longer than nine years." Chakotay put his hand on her back and said, "Tonight, Kes is going to die." "I don't want her to die." "Neither do we," my husband said, "but there's nothing we can do about it. She's very old, and it's time for her to die." "You're not going to die, are you?" "No, sweetie. Humans live much longer than that. We usually live about a hundred years." "What about me? I'm part Bajoran. Am I going to die?" "Not for a long time," I said. "Bajorans live as long as Humans." "What about Melissa? She's eight. That's almost nine, just like Kes. I'm scared." "Oh honey," I said reassuringly, "Kes is very unusual. Most species live a long, long time. No one's going to die any time soon unless there's an accident." "My birth parents both had accidents." Shit. Chakotay picked up the ball on this one. "Talia, we're going to make sure that from now on, we stay out of as much danger as we can. We're not going back on another ship like Voyager. We're going to live safely on a planet or a space station and have nice, safe jobs so we can live to see you grow up. We're not going anywhere." "Okay," she sniffed. "Can I be with Kes tonight?" "Are you sure you want to?" "She's my friend. I wanna say goodbye." I looked over at Chakotay, who nodded. "All right," I said. "You can be there." We gathered in the grove once the sun was fully down. Kes was already starting to let go, and couldn't walk there without her husband's help. She lay down in the center of a ring of trees, head on Neelix's lap, children on either side of her, each holding a hand. The rest of us sat in a ring around them -- Janeway, Bear, Tuvok, Samantha, Kathy, Martha, Chakotay, Talia and myself. Talia had asked to wear her parent's jewelry, so every time she moved her head, her earcuff flashed in the moonlight. Neelix looked up at us and smiled. "Kes just wanted something simple, just a time to say goodbye to all her friends in this special place." He looked down at Kes and nodded. Her voice was tiny, but determined. "I just wanted to thank you all. My life has been so extraordinary...thanks to you... I couldn't have...asked...for a better group...of...friends." In the smallest whisper, she said, "Goodbye." As her eyes closed and her breathing stopped, Bear let out a howl. We all just sat there, silently, tears running down our faces, being together with her and her family, as the moon continued to climb in the sky. Talia climbed into my lap and squeezed me hard, and I hugged her back as hard as I dared. Just before Neelix broke the circle, I noticed that Kes had died wearing the locket I gave her on her second birthday. Two days later, her cremated body was buried under a sapling in the grove. Part 8 What a difference three months makes. Chakotay, B'Elanna and I climbed onto the shuttle at the end of the day to head from our jobs on Utopia Planetia II to New Berkshire, a planet in the League of Aligned Planets, formerly the DMZ. As part of the peace treaty with the LAP (who the hell came up with that acronym anyway?), Starfleet built Utopia Planetia II right near the border of their space as a show of goodwill, plus as a way to provide jobs for their citizenry. Seems that Voyager had come home just in time. UP II was commissioned a couple of weeks after we arrived, and they were still looking for engineers, test pilots, and as Chakotay put it, "petty bureaucrats." B'Elanna was working as a civilian, but Chakotay and I had accepted our commissions, as well as promotions to full lieutenant and commander, making it clear to Starfleet that if they tried to station us elsewhere, we'd resign our commissions rather than break up the family or put it in harm's way. Samantha was also working on getting a transfer to UP II so she could be closer to Ayala and his family. She had just given birth to their son Richard, and was on maternity leave with her family back on Earth. Neelix and his daughters were currently living on Deep Space Nine, which was a short shuttle trip from here. He'd opened a restaurant, of all things, and business was apparently booming. Bajorans adored his food. Go figure. The shuttle to New Berkshire was a 15 minute ride, time enough to blow off work-related steam before going home to our families. Donna was working at home, writing a novel about our adventures in the Delta Quadrant, so she watched Talia for the half hour between when school got out and when we got home. "I think I'm going to kill the chief engineer and get it over with," B'Elanna groused. "He has no clue what real-world conditions are really like. He keeps designing for the ideal, but space isn't ideal most of the time." "As resident petty bureaucrat in charge of civilian/Starfleet interaction, I cannot allow that," Chakotay intoned in mock seriousness. "Ah, blow me!" B'Elanna laughed. "Damn, it felt good to say that. I can't swear in front of the stuffed shirt 'Fleet engineers, and I can't swear in front of my kids. If it weren't for this commute, my brain would turn to baby mush." "Glad to be of service," Chakotay replied, a grin threatening to crack his poker face. "So, dinner at our place tonight?" I asked. "We're counting on it. Spaghetti, right?" "Of course. It's the only thing all the kids will eat." "Do you ever eat a tiny amount of dinner, then wait for your kid to go to bed and replicate something really good?" B'Elanna asked with a hungry gleam in her eyes. Chakotay and I laughed. "Yeah, last night!" I replied. "Me too. Donna and I do it all the time. I'd go crazy if all I ate were peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and spaghetti." "Not both at the same time?" Chakotay asked with mock disgust. "Oh, shut up!" she hollered playfully. "Okay kids," the shuttle pilot joked. "Time to go home." "See you tomorrow, Ben." "See you tomorrow." We headed for the transport station and transported directly to our neighborhood. B'Elanna and company lived just down the street from us, so we followed her home, picked up Talia, and headed back to our humble abode. The furnishings were eclectic, just like our lives had been -- old European style sofas, Native American wall hangings, even a few Vulcan pieces. It definitely felt like home. We'd put out all the stuff we'd collected when stranded together on that planet all those years ago, only telling Talia the being stranded and falling in love part. The whole changing gender part could wait -- maybe forever. It was just too bizarre a concept to throw at your kid, especially at such a young age. "Gotta feed the kitties!" Talia announced as the kittens started swarming around her ankles, meowing pitifully. We'd gotten a couple of siamese kittens from a neighbor last month, and they'd quickly become part of the family. Talia named them Martha and Kathy, and their namesakes couldn't be happier. "So how was school?" "Good." We heard the clatter of kibbles hitting the bowl coming from the kitchen, and the pathetic mewing stopped. "Any messages?" I asked Chakotay as he sat down at the vidphone. "One from my sister. We're still visiting her this weekend, right?" "Yep." "I'll play it later. And there's another one from your mother." "Later." "Look...there's one from Janeway." "Really? Let's see it." Chakotay hit the play button, and her face winked on the screen. "Sorry I didn't catch you at home, but I wanted you to know that they've decided to recommission Voyager. Tuvok will be serving as my first officer, and the Doctor will be back on board with his new mobile holographic unit. It only works on the ship, but soon they hope to make it completely mobile so he can go anywhere. They toyed with giving him an android body to live in, but he didn't want that. A fair amount of the old crew will be on board, both Starfleet and Maquis, but we'll definitely miss you. We really did make a family, didn't we? "Anyhow, we're planning on taking much shorter journeys than the one we all took together, so I'll be stopping by to visit every chance I get. Voyager sets sail on her first mission in a couple of days, so I'm going to be insanely busy until then. I'll look you up as soon as I have a spare moment. Give my love to Talia. Bye." "She really looks happy," I mused. "All she ever wanted was to command," Chakotay replied. "I think it's hardwired in her system." "Damn, our guests are going to be here in twenty minutes. We'd better start cooking." "You're right." We headed for the kitchen, dodging the dashing kittens who had decided they'd had enough to eat, and started collecting the ingredients for dinner. Chakotay was trying to convince me that cooking was a lost art. At times like this, I wished it had stayed lost. "Can I help?" Talia asked. "Why don't you go play with the kittens to keep them out of the kitchen," I offered. "That would be helpful." "Okay." She grabbed the feather-on-a-stick toy and started waving it around the living room, kittens leaping wildly in an effort to catch it. I just watched her for a moment and smiled. Chakotay put his arm around me and said, "Looks good, doesn't it." "Yeah," I sighed as I leaned on his shoulder. "I don't think my life has ever looked better." END ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ -( [ bOONDOCKS! ] [ oNE oF tHE fASTEST iN eUROPE ] )- ________________________________________________________________________ __/ __ __/ _ __/ _ __/ _ __/ ___ __/ _ __/ ____/ / __/ ____/ \_ _ \_ / \_ / \_ / \_ / \_ / \_ / \_ _ \_____ \_ / / ¯¯/ _/ / _/ / / / _/ / _/ / _/ / / ¯¯/ _/ / /___ \__ \__ \__/ \__ \__ \__ \__/ \__ \ sAl1 \/______\/ \/______\/ \/______\/ \/______\/ \ / \ /________\ / \ /________\ / / \ / \ / [·hELLFIRE&lSD wHQ!·tRISTAR aND rED^sECTOR ¡NC.·sUNFLEX iNC.&iLS aMIGA eHQ!·] [·tRiSTAR & rED^SECTOR iNC. cONSOLE·&·gERMAN cONSOLE sYNDICATE wHQ!·] [·tRISTAR & rED^sECTOR ¡NC! /X-iNNOVATION wORLD dISTRIBUTION sITE!·] [·cLASSIC^qUARTEX hQ!·] [·dREAMCHARTS·dEVIOUS dEZIGNS·&·dATA dIVISION dHQ!·] [·-g^sTYLE!·&·tWISTED wHQ!·] [·pRO ARTS·&·rOADHOGZ eHQ!·] [·sYSOPS: s/\L-oNE!·mARIO·sECTORCHARGER·cOLONEL·gAZ P·eCS·] rUNNING oN aN aMIGA 4OOO wITH a cYBERSTORM O6O/5O mHZ/22 mB 2 * cREDITZ fOR mAJORS! 3 * cREDITZ fOR mAJORS fROM yOUR oWN gROUP! --»> lATEST aMIEXPRESS vERSION 4.xX! <«-- ---»> nO nEW uSER pASSWORD aND/oR sYSTEM pASSWORD! <«--- +31-(O)-548-54O-653 +31-(O)-548-521-716/521-848 +tEL-NET -[ 16k8 dUAL ]- -[ 33k6 dUALS ]- -[ 23:30-06:00 gMT +1 ]- [-[[ uPLOADEd bY: ZiuTek ]]-]--[-[[ nODE: 03 ]]-] [-[[ tIME aND dATE oF tHE uPLOAD: ]]---[[ 20:40:16, 08-16-1996 ]]-]