From io.org!van-bc!news.mindlink.net!agate!howland.reston.ans.net!plug.news.pipex.net!pipex!dish.news.pipex.net!pipex!lade.news.pipex.net!pipex!bt!btnet!newsfeed.internetmci.com!solaris.cc.vt.edu!swiss.ans.net!newsjunkie.ans.net!news.ptd.net!cs1-05 Sat No v 4 05:53:46 1995 Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative Path: io.org!van-bc!news.mindlink.net!agate!howland.reston.ans.net!plug.news.pipex.net!pipex!dish.news.pipex.net!pipex!lade.news.pipex.net!pipex!bt!btnet!newsfeed.internetmci.com!solaris.cc.vt.edu!swiss.ans.net!newsjunkie.ans.net!news.ptd.net!cs1-05 From: foiler@postoffice.ptd.net (Jeff Long) Subject: The Federation Foil: Sept. 30, 2267 (7 of 7) Classifieds X-Nntp-Posting-Host: cs1-05.blo.ptd.net Message-ID: Sender: news@postoffice.ptd.net (News Master) Organization: PenTeleData-ProLog X-Newsreader: News Xpress Version 1.0 Beta #3 Date: Sat, 4 Nov 1995 09:05:58 GMT Lines: 103 I don't know who owns what any more. I think Paramount bought Babylon 5. Anyway, e-mail Foiler@postoffice.ptd.net about a cool 'zine called The Federation Foil. We're always looking for contributors...especially artists... ---------------------------------------- CLASSIFIEDS: ORGANIZATIONS Stop the violence!!! Contributions to GAG are now being accepted. Contact: Gorns Against Guns, Gorn Homeworld. WANTED TRANSCEIVER: In the shape of Andorian antenna. Must have before Babel Conference. Contact Orion High Command. WANTED: Unusual pets from different planets. Will trade. Mine need slight domesticating. Contact Khan, Ceti Alpha V. CRUISER: For trip to secret planet. Musical ability a plus. No Herberts. Contact Dr. Sevrin at Alpha Science Institute, acoustics department. REFEREES needed for continuing fight of the Millennium! Contact Lazarus-A or Lazarus-B at the inter-dimensional corridor. FIRESTICKS: Big ones. Maybe some cannons, too. Come to think of it, just send them, whaddycallem, torpedoes. Contact Nona, wife of Tyree, Mugato Hill. BRAIN: Needed to run underground complex. Also require prostate gland to operate sewer department. And lungs, too. The air conditioning keeps breaking down. Contact Sigma Draconis VI, ask for "the controller." No Morgs, please. BEER: Plain old beer. Getting pretty damn sick of tranya. Hail the First Fed Ship, Fesarius. Lt. Bailey. SERVICES Problems with clogged tunnels? Doing any underground landscaping? Call Horta-Rooter today. 1-800-EAT-ROCK. I can do magic tricks, like change hams to turkeys. And I promise, I won't make anyone else go away! Contact Charles Evans, Thasus. Looking for a good time???? Omi-Ceti, the galaxy's leading authority of legalized drugs is now selling spores. Just plant and sniff! Omicron Ceti III. Ancient Vulcan receipe for Plomeek soup. Send SASE to Christine Chapel, USS Enterprise. FOR SALE For Sale: "Mastering the Technique of the Vulcan Death Grip." Hardly used. Contact Subcommander Tal, Romulan Empire. For Sale: 500 Stellas. Complete with rolling pins. Free or Best offer. Contact H.F.M. Mudd's Planet. MEMOIRS: Capt. Robert April (ret.), previously unpublished volumes, very rare. Includes controversial chapter, "Kirk had nothing on me." GAG GIFTS: "Corbomite Device" shoots water in face, neural parasite creature from Deneva gives electric shock. Lots of fun at parties. Just in: Robert and Nancy Crater salt/pepper shakers. Call Crazy Tiberius, Starbase 6. TEXTS: Starfleet Academy student dropping out to join merchant marine. Must sell following text books: Garth of Izar: The Required Lectures; John Gill: Mein Kampf and Other Useful Advice; plus bootleg copy of "How I Beat The No-Win Scenario -- JTK." Contact Bob at The Andorian's Tooth, red light district, San Fran.