376 Don't panic. Count to ten - THEN panic. Burning cigarettes at 70 miles outside the car window. This place is a new place. Drinking kills brain cells, but only the weak ones! BBSing is a lifestyle, not a hobby... Windows NT, do I hear 4 megs? 5 megs, do I hear 6? Determination, Persistence, Assimilation, Infiltration Where does evil live? Is evil in the flesh? Don't kill the light. I feel nice in my sarcophague. No women allowed! Around the day in 80 worlds. Hiroshima '45, Tsjernobyl '86, Windows '95 I got nothing to say I ain't said before I bled all I can, I won't bleed no more You reap what you sow, put your face to the ground Time is a gypsy caravan, steals away in the night We are few, and far between Her eyes were cobald red, her voice was cobalt blue I see no purple light, crashing out of you Dreams flow across the heartland, feeding on the fire Dreams transport desires, drive you when you're down Dreams transport the ones who need to get out of town This moment may be brief, but it can be so bright Respond, vibrate, feed back, resonate Oh the light can carry, all the visions of the sea Oh the light can carry, all the images to me I'm not one to believe in magic The Spice extends Life. The Spice expands Consciousness. The Spice is vital to Space Travel. I'm standing, in a shadow, hating the world I keep a wall around me, block out the herd I'm glad I am crazy, it keeps me trying I despise the trendies, I know they're lying I'm on fire, and I can hardly breathe Time goes by, and all alone, my poor heart grieves Moment of terror is the beginning of life ...until later! Where's your revolution plan? Let me burn you, let me burn you, let me burn you down We're only at home when we're on the run Like lovers and heroes, lonely as the eagle's cry We will pay the price, but we will not count the cost Fate its just the weight of circumstances Just another day - in the life of a loaded gun I know your mother thinks I'm societies parasite. I'm crushed by the absence of you. Progress! Progress! Lets feed the felines. Fiberline. Shine. Enlight the globe. Realtime rendition thats what we live in. I dither. From left to right. Sozo ryoku hatarakasete. Shifting back and forth. Reality seems tracked. Inside the noise I see the future. Rock'n Roll died many years ago. So we dance, and fight in the streets as well And life went on while you were paralized I clutch the wire fence until my fingers bleed Seeking freedom beneath a lonely desert sun. Never run a changing system. Alzheimer is great. You always get to learn new people Are you man or slime? My fading is your victory. A victory that won't last. Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk? I can't be wrong. I use an error correcting modem Welcome to Hell! Here's your copy of Windows! In dark places we will be, forever beyond the light Computers are tools, but the Amiga is an instrument. I'm morphing objects in another window. My other computer is another Amiga. Why is Amiga better? No Intel inside, that's why. Friends don't let friends use MS-DOS. QWK: the MS-DOS of offline mail formats. MS-DOS: the McDonald's of operating systems. MS-DOS? Foutjuuuuh bedankt! Unix: the operating system of the future of the past. Single tasking? Just say no! If speed kills, then Windows users may live forever. VirusScan: MS Windows found. Delete? (Y/y) Single-tasking computers are a sign of low self esteem I admit it, I tried MS-DOS, but I didn't inhale. Crime has increased steadily with sales of MS-DOS. MS-DOS: the Dwight D. Eisenhower of operating systems. There were plagues of locusts, and frogs, and MS-DOS Joe McCarthy would have wanted everyone to use MS-DOS. If at first you don't succeed, create an "NT" version. Support group for survivors of MS-DOS now forming. Windws is ine for bckgroun comunicaions If MS Windows sucked it would be good for something. Momma don't 'low dat messydos garbage round here. - Macintosh: the etch-a-sketch you don't have to shake. Coming soon from Microsoft: EDLIN for Windows. Ever notice how fast Windows 3.1 runs? Neither have I. A better way to DoubleSpace your disk: DEL C:\WINDOWS I replaced Windows with a pack of playing cards. Windows 3.1 - The best $129 solitaire game you can buy House gets too cold in the winter? Buy a Pentium. My new Pentium is so fast it can bake a potato in 8s. At Intel, quality is job 0.99999528470361. Function call to load Windows/NT: Sooooeee_pig_pig Hackers do it till dawn. 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028...forgot the rest Hackers stay UP all night. Hackishness is next to Godliness. RTFM. Guru Meditation #8100000B.466F6F21 Insufficient memory: add 4 megs and retry Overflow on null device; please empty the bit bucket. What's worse, a part missing or a part left over? It takes a Real Man to sit indoors all day doing this. "[NR]"? Shame on you! It will be released in four weeks. They promised me. Press Ctrl-Alt-Del to continue. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. Remember: Always mount a scratch monkey. The Oracle has pondered your question deeply. You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike This tagline made from 100% recycled electrons. This tagline uses advanced Object Oriented technology. Job not found: (A)bort (R)etry (W)elfare Don't trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl mistaks Strike any user to continue. I have two computers. Can I breed them? KlingonDOS error: Command or filename without honor If it's on fire, it's a hardware problem. Wise man say don't buy computa from man who sell radio It said "insert disk #3" but only two would fit. Don't be hesitant. Digital electronics can smell fear. It works! Now, if only I could remember what I did... This version of reality will have certain limitations C:\DOS\SYSTEM\UTILS\DOCS\HELP\WHERE\THE\F$#%\AM\I?! My keyboard is broken. This O is upside-down. Confusion not only reigns, it pours. Shirley's Law: Most people deserve each other. DiSimoni's Rule of Cognition: Believing is seeing. If you can remember the '60s, then you weren't there. Those who can't teach, administrate. Sattinger's Law: It works better if you plug it in. Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage. "Next time buy the two-ply kind," said Tom roughly. "Careful with that power saw," said Tom disarmingly. "I'll have to convert to float," Tom realized. "We need a home run hitter," said Tom ruthlessly. "I enjoy making bicycle wheels," Tom spoke up. "Turn down the treble," Tom intoned. "My stereo's half fixed," said Tom monotonously. "I just love Chinese food", said Tom wantonly. "I think I'll end it all," Sue sighed. The solution to a problem changes the problem. Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses. There are Monkey Boys in the facility! Once, adv.: Enough. It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats. "What else floats?" -- "Very very small rocks?" Bank error in your favor. Collect $200. Your mother sent me up here to kill you. Rabbit au gratin de gelatine under tooled leather! Breathe, stupid! You forgot to breathe! I'm spending a year dead for tax purposes. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. Youth is about sex, drugs, pizza, and more sex. Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today. Nobody for President! Who balanced the budget? Nobody, yes! What is "obscenity"? Whatever gets the judge excited. A bureaucracy can outwait anything. Planet 98% full. Delete politicians? (Y/y) Stay away from flying saucers today. We're from the government. We're here to kill you. Sacred cows make the tastiest hamburger An avidity to punish is always dangerous to liberty. Headline: City Wants Dead To Pay For Cleanup. Headline: Coal Miners Refuse To Work After Death. Headline: Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case. Headline: Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant. Headline: Low Pay Reason For Poverty, Study Says. Headline: No Cause Of Death Determined For Beheading Headline: Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalker Headline: Prostitutes Appeal To Pope. Headline: Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim. Headline: Prisoners Escape From Prison Farm After Execution Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight. The average person has one ball and one tit. Half Moon tonight (at least its better than no Moon at all) I'm mooning you right now; you just can't see me. OK to meet girl in park, better to park meet in girl Fine day to throw a party. Throw him as far as you can. Good news. Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day. Does war decide who's right? Only who's left. Show respect for age. Drink good Scotch for a change. With freedom comes responsibility. Every tradition was once a heresy. Every valuable idea offends someone. Excellent day to have a rotten day. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn. Virtue is its own punishment. Today is the last day of your life... so far. Man Invented Alcohol, God Invented Grass. Who do you trust? Hypocrisy is the K-Y Jelly of social intercourse. Masturbation is to sex as philosophy is to real life. Darkness reigns at the foot of the lighthouse. Smokers: They're a dying breed. Think twice before you think. Don't lend people money. It causes amnesia. Don't argue with people stupider than you. Don't be sexist. Chicks hate it. Never trust anyone who says "trust me". People who have no vices have very few virtues. Housework, done properly, can kill you. Common sense is what tells you that the world is flat You are a completely unique individual, just like everyone. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. If you're not making waves, you're not rowing the boat. Happiness can't buy money. Life is a bitch, but some of the puppies are cute. If it happens, it must be possible. The Company loves misery. Hate your life? Don't worry, it will go away Caution: living too long may be fatal. Incoming fire has the right of way. Never eat anything bigger than your head. Math and alcohol don't mix. Don't drink and derive. Gravity is the chief cause of airplane crashes. Avoid that run down feeling. Stay on the sidewalk. Your reward for a job well done: more work. Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular. Monday is the root of all evil. A closed mouth gathers no food. Sometimes silence is not golden, it's yellow. If at first you don't succeed, give up, no use being a damn fool. A metaphor is like a simile. The best things in life aren't things. Where there's a will... there's a relative. First law of sociology: "Violence in, violence out." Women are like fires. They go out if left unattended! Dominate the perverted subadigm! Your mistakes are not behind you until you face them. An axiom of law enforcement: Action proves intent. bumper sticker: Mean people suck. Take my advice. I don't use it anyway. I think I just heard something hit a fan. Atheist: one with no invisible means of support. Removal of this tagline is prohibited by law. There is nothing like an ice cream cone in your armpit And the Lord said "Thou shalt not leave hairs unsplit" Christianity: Judaism for Windows. Do not adjust your mind -- the fault is within reality I can't walk on water, but I can stagger on alcohol. I just washed my brain and I can't do a thing with it. Aibohphobia: Fear of palindromes. Palindrome: Snug & raw was I ere I saw war & guns. I eat my coffee straight from the can. Why dilute it? Give your child mental blocks for Christmas. Whoever decided to limit these taglines down to sixty chara Judgin' by the taste, I'd say the other one's Shinola. It's clever, but is it art? I'll be normal when I'm dead! Be reasonable. Let's do it my way. You say money can't make me happy? Prove it to me! Looks like another case of Clue Deficit Disorder. Only an idiot actually READS taglines Could you please be a bit less specific? Mommy Mommy, there's a strange man in my head! Are dog biscuits made from Collie Flour? I am having an out of money experience. Artificial Reality Test Site Wasting time is an important part of living. Sheer SIZE! Farfignewton: a long way to the next cookie. It's tourist season? Then we can shoot them, right? A day for firm decisions! Or is it? Fine day to work off excess energy. Steal something heavy. "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." - "Then don't do that." You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old. Avoid reality at all costs. uh... uh... I forget. Contents may have settled during shipping. Objects in mirror are stupider than they appear. The moving cat sheds, and having shed, moves on. Instant human: just add coffee. I should have quit while I was not as far behind. Stay away from hurricanes for a while. You non-conformists are all alike. I think I think, therefore I think. (I think...) Help the environment. Recycle your boss. Dyslexics of the world, untie! If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws have in-laws. We are everywhere! Unfortunately, so are they. I tried to play my shoehorn but all I got was footnote Look at it sideways. You don't buy beer, you only rent it. You owe "Bob" a living. Dallas, July 5, 1998. Only Subgenii allowed on board. You can't have everything... where would you put it? Incontinence Hotline... can you hold? I am going to be assertive, if that is okay with you. What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health. Cease, in the name of everything that doesn't suck! Blow up your car. It's really fun. If I want your opinion, I'll read your entrails. "Onnngh Yannngh" (Barrington Hall Memorial Tagline) Remember, even if you win the rat race -- you're still a rat. Try this chicken. It tastes just like rattlesnake. Get thee down. Be thou funky. Kill your television. How to make your wife angry during sex: call her up. Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Life: sexually transmitted disease with fatal ending Frog philosophy: Time's fun when you're having flies. UFO's are for real: the Air Force doesn't exist. Scratch & Sniff [XXXXX] Smells like glass, doesn't it? I'm going to grow birds. I planted some birdseed! Drive defensively. Buy a tank. Life is a car wash and I'm on a bicycle. I embrace poverty! To annoy me, send money. My cat wasn't broke, but I had it fixed anyway. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. If a tree fell on a florist, would he make a sound? Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon. Keep your country tidy. Swallow your beer cans. Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings. Keep grandma off the streets -- legalize bingo. Acid -- better living through chemistry. You'll never be the man your mother was! Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. They're only trying to make me LOOK paranoid! Hail to the sun god, he sure is a fun god, Ra! Ra! Ra! Brain fried -- Core dumped Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. -- Salvor Hardin Reality is an obstacle to hallucination. Coward: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments. Death: to stop sinning suddenly. That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all. Pillage, rape, and loot and burn, but all in moderation. A.A.A.A.A.: An organization for drunks who drive Error. (A)bort (R)etry (D)o as if nothing had happened Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity. Clairvoyance meeting cancelled due to unforeseen events. He's got a magnet! Everybody BACKUP!!! File not found. Loading something similar. Zen Druids practice Transcendental Vegetation. The best things in life are for a fee. Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away! Sorry - the Cookie Monster got here first. If your feet smell and your nose runs - you're built upside down. Never hit a man with glasses; hit him with your fist. On all lasergrams: Don't forget the Zap code. Darth Vader sleeps with a Teddywookie. White dwarf seeks red giant for binary relationship. It's hard to be humble when you're perfect. In case of fire, yell "FIRE!" Do it today, tomorrow it will be illegal. Don't read this cookie! Do students of Zen Buddhism do Om-work? The moon may be smaller than Earth, but it's further away. LSD melts your mind, not in your hand. Grass is nature's way of saying "High!" Save Soviet Jews! Collect them or trade them with your friends. Neuroses are red, melancholia's blue. I'm schizophrenic, what are you? FUCK. Without this none of us would be here. - Dhm 'Would you kill your friends and then eat them?' - Karma 'URANUS. Ermm... see, it's your anus.' Der letzte macht den Server aus! Being death makes impotent. Now who's overreacting, you asshole?!? Me, indecisive? - I'm not so sure about that. Btw: did you know that zappeling to herbhoellentechno is rulu? - Cyclone 'i sTILL nEED pSYCIC cARE' - Fatal 'eNOUGH oF tHIS sELF-aSS-lIKING (cOS iT'S A bIT tRICKY!)' - Stylez 'nice moral support.. Makes you think you're something.' - Nup VirusScan: MS Windows found. Delete? (Y/y) If speed kills, then Windows users may live forever.