17861
"Pieces of Nine! Pieces of Nine!" Another parroty error!
$ not found:  A)bort, R)efinance, D)eclare bankruptcy.
(1) Ignore (2) Retry (3) Abort (4) MeltDown
(A)bhor, (R)etch, (F)lail, (I)gnite *
(A)bort (F)ail (R)etry (C)reate a holigraphic image
(A)bort (F)ail (T)oss computer across room
(A)bort (R)etry (I)gnore (O)verthrow System
(A)bort (R)etry (I)nfluence with large hammer
(A)bort (R)etry (K)ick the friggin thing
(A)bort (R)etry (S)ay Kaddish
(A)bort (R)etry (S)cream your lungs out
(A)bort (R)etry (S)hoot the SOB!
(A)bort (R)etry (S)mack the frigging thing...
(A)bort (R)etry (S)ue
(A)bort (R)etry (W)hackitonthesideofthemonitor
(A)bort, (F)ail, (T)oss computer across room
(A)bort, (I)gnore, (R)etry, (S)ay Kaddish
(A)bort, (I)gnore, (R)etry, (S)elfDestruct 30 SEC
(A)bort, (Q)uit,  (E)nd,  (T)erminate,  (P)erot
(A)bort, (R)aise, (G)ive up for adoption?
(A)bort, (R)epent, (I)gnorant?
(A)bort, (R)etry (S)wear?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (*)*** it?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (B)arf up a bug.
(A)bort, (R)etry, (B)lat...
(A)bort, (R)etry, (B)omb
(A)bort, (R)etry, (D)on't even think of it!
(A)bort, (R)etry, (D)ynamite
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)*** it?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (G)o fix the coffee
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (G)rab_Hammer
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (S)lam fist on desk?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (S)mash forehead on keyboard ?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ormatting C???  AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!
(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a bigger hammer.
(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et gun and blow away computer
(a)bort, (r)etry, (G)et out the bloody axe!
(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et The Sledge Hammer
(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)rab a stick and kill it
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (C)rash?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (F)ail, (N)uke...
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (F)ornicate it!!
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (K)ick system?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (N)uke It!
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (O)h Poop.....
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (O)verthrow System?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (S)elf-Destruct
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (S)ell it!
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (S)ell it! (A)bort,
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (S)orry I Asked!
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (V)alium?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (K)ill Innocent Bystanders.
(A)bort, (R)etry, (K)ill Noah?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (O)h sh**....
(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)anic
(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened...
(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)ull Tights?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (S)crew it?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (S)ell it
(A)bort, (R)etry, (S)hoot the SOB!
(A)bort, (R)etry, (S)mack the @#$&*~ thing!
(A)bort, (R)etry, (S)mack the friggin thing
(A)bort, (R)etry, (S)mack the frigging thing
(A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (U)se a better tagline.
(a)bort, (r)etry, (W)hack the friggin thing.
(A)bort, (R)etry, (W)hat the f**k happened?
(A)bort, (R)etry, or (I)nfluence with hammer.
(Beeeep) Syntax Error! - My reality check just cleared.
(C)ontrol (A)lt (B)ye
(D)inner not ready:  (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
(W)indows,(I)cons,(M)ice,(P)ointers,(S)heesh!
** ERROR ** Unable to insert witty tagline.
65536 bytes in 8 lost chains - Convert to taglines (Y/N)?
<f1> Exit    <f2> Talk to me HAL !!
A)bort R)etry G)et a gun and kill it.
A)bort, R)etry, S)wear?
Abort, Retry, Fail ?
Abort, Retry, Find another line of work.......
Abort, Retry, Forget it!
Abort, Retry, Ignore, hold Requiem Mass?
Abort, Retry, Ignore, plan a Funeral Service?
Abort, Retry, Ignore, Valium?
Abort, Retry, Ignore? An optomist picks Retry.
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
ALT1.BBS: Fatal error at FYAH:DEAD, dropping...(click)
An ERROR? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
Anything that can go wr . # ^% Bus Error -- Core Dumped
Anything that can go wro... #@^% Bus ERROR -- Core Dumped
Apathy ERROR: Don't Bother Striking Any Key.
Apathy ERROR: Strike any key, or none. Who cares?!
Are you sure (Y/Y)?
At the prompt, remove the disk, spit on it, and retry.
Backup no encontrado ! : (R)eintento, (P)�nico ?
Backup not found....(A)bort (R)etry (S)oil pants
Backup not found: (A)bort (P)anic (D)iarrhea.
Backup not found: (a)bort (r)etire (p)eefirst
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (C)ry
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (D)etonate
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (F)reak Out!
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
Backup not found: (a)bort (r)etry (p)anic (c)ryalot
Backup not found: (a)bort (r)etry (p)anic (s)uicide
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)unish Slave
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (S)ell Computer
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (S)hrug (P)anic
Backup not found: (P) Panic (Any Other Key) Panic.
Backup Not Found: A)bort, R)etry, C)ry
Backup not found: Abort, Retry, Massive heart failure?
Backup not found: I might as well kill myself now...
Bad command or file name.  Go stand in the corner.
Bad command or file name..STUPID!
Bad command or filename - get it right you dope!
Bad Command or Filename.  Or maybe you screwed up.
Bad command. Bad, bad command. Sit! Staaay....
Bad command: (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)lace fist in screen.
Bad CRC. BAD CRC! Go up to your room and wait until I call for you!
Bad or missing sysop
BEER.KEG empty!  OVERFLOW ERROR DETECTED!
BTREE ERROR -> Access not possible, undefined error.
C Error #003: You're joking... right?
C Error #007: Irrational concept!
C Error #008: It'll never work, really!
C Error #009: FATAL! Portable code found
C Error #011: First C Program, huh?
C Error #012: printf("Hello world\n");
C Error #013: That's Mr. C to you bub!
C Error #022: Missing period eh? Core dump...
C Error #026: Sorry, gone fishing...
C Error #029: Well! I'm impressed
C Error #030: tisk, tisk, tisk
C Error #031: May I suggest delivering pizza?
C Error #034: !!! R�A�I�D !!!
C: Drive failure. Oh no, it must be a Monday.. again.
C:drive...C:drive run...C:drive crash...File not found.
C:\> Police Not Found: Try Donut shop [Y/N]?
C:\COFFEE.POT missing: (A)bort (R)etry (F)all asleep
C:\DAMSEL.EXE x-linked with DISTRESS.COM. RESCUE? (Y/n?)
Cana-DOS: "Yer sure, eh?" [O]k, eh!   [N]o way!   [B]eauty!  ?
Cause of Death: CRC ERROR.
COFFEE.COM not found: A)dd more, R)eheat F)reak out.
COFFEE.POT not found; kill (E)verybody (S)elected bodies (Y)ou?
Coffin not available. Press F10 to cremate
Command Interpreter Bad or Missing...
Command Not Understood. . . Now erasing Hard Drive
Command.com not found.  Please sit there and wait.
Computer missing, notify SysOp!
Computer not found.. (A)bort (R)etry (F)^&K IT!
Computer... Smoke... Uhh Ohh
Computer: a million morons working at the speed of light.
Continuity ERROR: (A)bort, (R)ewrite, (I)gnore?
Core error -- bus dumped.
CPAV Warning:(S)top (C)ontinue (B)urn infected disk
Cranial Input Error: Line Status Register 02
Critical error: (S)hout, (S)mash, (B)uy a mac.
Daddy, what does "FORMATTING DRIVE C:" mean?
Dinner Not Ready...(A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
Disc write ERROR, please drop dead...
Disk Crash:Abort,Retry,Kill innocent bystandards
Disk Error - Press ANY Boot To ReLace
Disk Error on C: - (A)bort, (R)etry, (D)estruct
Disk error: (A)bort (R)etry (N)egotiate release of disk?
Disk Full Error.  Enter 'DELETE *.*' to recover.
Disk write error, please drop dead...
Dos Error #012 - Human error, Human error...
DOS Error - Can't drive to that write.
DOS ERROR: Please remove cat from drive A:
DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename"...
Drive A: not responding.. .Formating C: instead
Drive C: ERROR, (A)bort (R)etry
Drive C: Error,(A)bort (R)etry (I)gnore (K)ick (S)cream
Drive not ready E: (R)etry (G)o to Impulse (C)all Geordi
Duplicate file name or file not found - Not sure which
Dynamic linking ERROR. The mistake is now in every file.
Dynamic linking error: Your mistake is now everywhere.
ERROR # 76 - Check nut on keyboard
Error #0001: COSMOS.CFG Corrupt. Reboot Universe (Y/N):
ERROR #0001: Windows/NT loaded. Hoo-boy, is your system in danger now.
ERROR #0006: Bad or Missing SysOp. "Hey, everybody...FREE files here!"
ERROR #0032: KEYBOARD NOT RESPONDING! Use Hammer? (Y/N)
ERROR #0056: Nut loose on keyboard (is it necessary to explain this?).
ERROR #0069: FILE NOT FOUND (I'M LOADING SOMETHING THAT LOOKS SIMILAR)
ERROR #0076: Check nut on keyboard
ERROR #0099: Dead mouse in hard drive.
ERROR #00: CPU TOO *TIRED* TO CONTINUE
ERROR #0110: TIT.COM|TAT.DAT NOT FOUND. DATAFILE EXCHANGE SYS ABORTED.
ERROR #0141: Too many errors.
ERROR #0216: Tagline out of paper
ERROR #0326: TAGLINES nearing empty. "GET... ME... MORE... TAGLINES!!"
ERROR #0666: Computer posessed. "So it believes it's a MAC...So what!"
ERROR #06: Bad or missing Sysop - FREE files in all areas.
ERROR #1111: VIRUS DISCOVERED IN C:\..DRIVE BEING FORMATTED       NOT!
ERROR #1234:  A)bort, R)etry, I)gnore, H)ey... like I'm sorry I asked!
ERROR #1250: FILE NOT FOUND... S)TAY IN JAIL, R)ETURN CAKE, B)ANG CUP.
ERROR #1278: UNABLE TO INSERT WITTY TAGLINE. RUN SONG.COM + DANCE.DAT?
ERROR #1456: COMPUTER NOT LOCATED OR ON-LINE.  YOU'VE BEEN RIPPED-OFF!
ERROR #1511: Brain Offline
ERROR #1511: Brain Offline. "He runs, doesn't he?  Where's the error?"
ERROR #1965: (your 80286 didn't exist when this program was produced).
ERROR #2256:  A)bort, R)etry, I)gnore, O)verthrow your computer's CPU?
ERROR #2345: QWK-MAIL NOT LOCATED: PERMISSION TO BEGIN WHINE SEQUENCE?
ERROR #2790:  A)bort, R)etry, P)retend this situation never occured...
ERROR #3214: Operator out of patience!
ERROR #326 = TAGLINES nearing empty. STEAL MORE. . . .
ERROR #34BB: Thought not found: Reformat Brain (Y/N)?
ERROR #4444: FLOPPYS NOT RESPONDING: FORMAT THOSE HARD DRIVES INSTEAD?
ERROR #4817: CPU not found
Error #56: Nut loose on keyboard.
ERROR #5716: Unable to come up with a new tagline
ERROR #6060: TagLines aren't funny.  Operator taken out back and shot.
ERROR #6543: WITTY TAGLINE.TXT NOT FOUND: F)AKE, P)LUG, S)TEAL...WHAT?
Error #666:  Computer posessed!
ERROR #6800: SYSTEM MOUSE NOT FUNCTIONING...CLICK LEFT BUTTON TO EXIT.
ERROR #7979:  A)bort, F)ail, T)oss your computer system across street?
ERROR #8643:  A)bort, R)etry, I)gnore, L)eave, K)ick up a little fuss?
ERROR #8686: Your keyboard's not attached...Press any key to continue.
ERROR #8696: Dead rat in found in hard drive (where's that *&#@ cat?).
ERROR #8765: BACKUP NOT LOADED: A)BORT, R)ETRY, P)ANIC, C)RY OUT LOUD?
ERROR #8901: PC KEYBOARD DISCONNECTED: PRESS [ F1 ] TO RE-BOOT SYSTEM.
ERROR #9022:  (A)bort (R)etry (F)ake like it's working
Error (11): Fax Modem Not Responding, Check Hardware
ERROR **  Unable to insert witty tagline.
Error - Operator out of memory!
Error - This message was rejected by MY Mail Reader.
Error - This message was rejected by Ray's Mail Reader
Error - [A]bort, [R]etry, [F]ake like it's working...
ERROR 0032: KEYBOARD NOT RESPONDING! Use Hammer? (Y/N)
Error 005: Windows loading. Come back tomorrow.
ERROR 0076: Check nut on keyboard
Error 015:  Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
ERROR 0301: Keyboard not found - Press F1 to continue.
ERROR 103: Dead mouse in hard drive.
Error 141: Too many errors.
Error 144: Bit bucket overflow.
ERROR 1701 - Your hard drive croaked!!
Error 216: Tagline out of paper.
Error 2469: Tagline outta paper.
Error 256: Programmer Deleted.
Error 27: Program MAY be infected with a virus.
ERROR 301 Keyboard can't be found - Press F1 to continue.
ERROR 301 Keyboard Not found: Press F1 to continue.
ERROR 3F2C: Replace nut behind keyboard.
ERROR 407: Program too idiotic.
ERROR 4387:HA HA HA. Your data has been lunched!
Error 45.61  Documentation is missing.
Error 6  Tagline not funny. Operator deleted.
Error 99: Dead mouse in hard drive.
ERROR 9: Disk Full Error / Formatting Drive C: to make space
Error : (A)bort (R)etry (S)ell it
ERROR D3F2: Replace user and press any key to continue.
Error executing WACO.EXE -- -- Davidian by Zero
Error failed! Press any key to resume error.
Error finding REALITY.SYS  -  Universe halted.
ERROR IN APATHY CIRCUIT: HONESTLY, DON'T EVEN BOTHER HITTING ANY KEYS.
ERROR IN BIOS - Press any key to reboot...
Error in program: (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)anic?
Error in QWK packet. (D)elete, (R)etry, (G)o Figure...
Error in REALITY.SYS, Abort Universe (Y/N)?
Error in REALITY.SYS, Run BIG_BANG.EXE (Y/N)?
ERROR IN ROM - Press any key to self-destruct...
Error loading GOD.com <A>bort or <U>nzip BIGBANG.zip?
Error loading GOD.SYS (A)bort or (U)nzip BIGBANG.ZIP.
Error locating MAFIA.EXE - program not executed.
ERROR LOCATING MAFIA.EXE: SELECTED PROGRAM RELEASED WITHOUT EXECUTION.
ERROR LPT1 not found.. use backup - PENCIL & PAPER
Error message: Like, dude, something went wrong
ERROR MESSAGE: Master Chris, you have run out of taglines!
ERROR OPENING CLINTON.LIE, CANNOT RECOVER COUNTRY.USA
Error opening COLDBEER.CAN  Glass not ready.
ERROR OPENING COLDBEER.CAN: GLASS.DAT OR MUG.DAT NOT LOCATED OR READY.
Error opening Tagline file.
Error propagates faster than truth.
ERROR READING C: (A)bort (R)etry (I)mmolate?
Error reading CUT.INJ! A)bort R)etry S)ue
Error reading device: /dev/tagline
Error Reading Drive C: (A)bort (R)etry (S)ledgehammer
Error reading FAT Table...Try Skinny one ? (Y/N)
Error reading fixed disk. Use (H)ammer (P)istol (N)uke?
Error reading REALITY.SYS - Universe halted.
Error reading user's mind (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)ntuit
Error with breakfast. No cereal port!
ERROR!  Caught pirating software.....LOADING TAPS.MOD!
ERROR!  KITTY.CAT Virus Scan has exterminated the MOUSE driver.
ERROR!  VIRUS found!  C: drive formated.............NOT!
Error- REALITY.SYS not found, install TREK.SYS? (Y/n)
Error..... Brain offline....
ERROR:  COLDBEER.CAN Not Found -- Operator Not Loaded
ERROR:  CPU not found
Error:  Msg is Twit. (D)elete, (S)kip, (F)lame
ERROR:  Must execute LIPS.COM before ORGASM.EXE
Error: (A)bort (R)etry (F)ind 12 year old and ask.
Error: (A)dmit inferiority (R)eparse command line (F)ill hd with glue
ERROR: - (A)bort (R)etry (F)ake like it's working
ERROR: Abort, Retry, Fail, or Ignore?
Error: ALLWORK.EXE -- Jack is dull boy.
ERROR: AUDIT.COM ... Abort, Retry, Kiss ASCII goodbye?
Error: Brain not attached - Press F1 to continue
ERROR: BRAIN not found. Continue?  (Y/N)
ERROR: Cannot open CATFOOD.CAN - Eat logitech mouse instead (Y/n)? ___
ERROR: COLDBEER.CAN not found! USER.SYS not loaded.
ERROR: COMPUTER POSSESSED. LOAD EXOR.SYS? (Y/N)
ERROR: CPU not found
ERROR: Current directory is totally irrational
ERROR: D3F2: Replace user and press any key to continue.
ERROR: Device LEGS: Not open for entry.
ERROR: Drive C: not ready.
ERROR: Drive C: open.
ERROR: ERROR: ERROR: ERROR: ERROR: ERROR: {SMACK} C:\>
ERROR: FAILED! Press any key to resume error.
ERROR: finding COLDBEER.CAN Sysop not loaded!
ERROR: finding REALITY.SYS - Universe halted.
ERROR: Fingers Not Ready. Bang Head On Keyboard To Continue.
ERROR: General Protection Fault. Do Not Go To Next Message.
ERROR: in REALITY.SYS. Run BIGBANG.EXE? (Y/N)
ERROR: Incompatible File Format
ERROR: Incompatible File Format Etc., etc., etc.
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press any key to continue.
ERROR: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
ERROR: LPT1 not found... use backup - PENCIL & PAPER
ERROR: NO DISK SPACE...REWRITING OVER PREVIOUSLY USED SECTORS!
Error: No Keyboard: Press F1 to Continue.
ERROR: Off topic. Commit sepukku? (Y/y)
ERROR: opening COLDBEER.CAN Glass not ready.
ERROR: propagates faster than truth.
Error: RAM address without valid Zip Code.
ERROR: reading FAT Table... Try Skinny one? (Y/N)
ERROR: REALITY.SYS Corrupted -- Universe unrecoverable
ERROR: REALITY.SYS corrupted. Reboot Universe [Y][N]
ERROR: RUM&COKE.DRK unexpected EOF... Operator Loaded.
Error: Run XLAX.COM to correct impacted data.
Error: SALARY.COM system interrupted. Get a job.
ERROR: Smash face against keyboard to continue..
ERROR: TAGLINE NOT FOUND: F)AKE, P)LUG, S)TEAL *** WHAT?
ERROR: This message was rejected by DOS.
ERROR: this problem will only be solved by lots of money.
ERROR: Thought not found: Reformat Brain (Y/N)?
ERROR: TIT.COM tat.dat not found. Data exchange aborted.
ERROR: Unable to come up with a new tagline
ERROR: USER CORRUPT. TERMINATING...
ERROR: Your baud rate has been dropped to 300 bps.
ERROR: Your machine didn't exist when this was written
Error:014 - Nonexistent error.  This cannot really be happening.
Error:014-Nonexistent Error.
Error:015 - Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
ERRORS show up in the duplicate while the Boss reads it.
ESCHATON.SYS Found. Immanentize? (Yes/No/Quit/Fnord)
Every day is the dawn of a new error.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
Exhaustion error: DOS is too tired to boot.
F1[Panic] F2[Passout] F3[Smash keyboard] F4[Cry]
Fatal Database ERROR: Sysop late for work
Fatal error stealing tagline! Call Technique Computers
Fatal ERROR Using Mouse. Please bury/replace.
Fatal Error Using Mouse. Replace and Bury Operator.
Fatal Error! - (A)bort (Retry) (E)xplode
Fatal error: SysOp out of environment space.
FATAL ERROR: User Executed
Fatal Error: You're dead.
FATAL LOGIC ERROR - Engage Brain and (R)etry
Fatal System ERROR - please insert a quarter to fix it
Fatal System Error: (A)bort (R)etry (G)et OS/2
FILE ALLOCATION TABLE BAD:  One leg fell off
File COLDBEER.CAN not found - Operator not loaded!
File not found, but if you'll hum a few bars...
File not found, I'll load something *I* think is cool!
File not found, I'll load something *I* think is interesting.
File not found, Loading something *I* find interesting.
File Not Found.  Backup Not Found.  Sure you don't want a drink?!
File not found.  Delete *.* and change directory? (Y/N)_
File not found.  S)tay in jail, R)eturn cake, B)ang cup.
File Not Found. Backup Not Found. Sure you don't want a drink?
File not found. Delete *.* and change directory? (Y/N)_
File not found. Haha, you're stuffed now, aren't you?
File Not Found. Loading something that looks similar.
File not found. Nobody leave the room!
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
File Not Found. Want me to Fake it? (Y/N)
File Not Found.....Loading something that looks similar.
File not found....Now you're in the DEEP doodoo!
File Not Found...Delete User instead? (Y/y)
File Not Found:  Guess You F***ed Up Big-Time, Eh Ace????
File Not Found: (a)bort, (r)etry, (K)ill innocent bystanders
File not found: <A>bort <R>etry <F>lingOutAWindow
File not found: <A>bort <R>etry <T>hreaten with gun
File not found: Loading something that looked similar.
File not found: Look behind refrigerator? (Y/n)
File to fit, hammer to suit, paint to hide.
Files not found:  Delete user instead? (Y/y)?
FILES=1  BUFFERS=0  FCBS=SAYWHAT  BREAK=GIMME
Floppy not responding, Format HARD DRIVE instead? Y/N ?
Floppy not responding--formatting HDD!
Floppy not responding. Can I kiss it and make it well?
Floppy not responding.Can you kiss it and make it well?
Format C:<CR>......OOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPSSSS!
Freedom of Choice not found: <A>bort Cancelled
General Brain Failure.  (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (O)h, sheesh!
General Brain Failure.  (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (O)h.
General Failure reading drive A:  Please remove your fist.
General stupidity error reading drive C:
Grade not found: <F>ail <F>ail <F>ail
Guess����� retain files, or any other key to reformat C:
HD Recovery: see online documentation....
Hello World!  17 Errors, 31 Warnings....
hiGhEr bRAiN FUnCtiON ERROr... inSERt COFfEe.
Human ERROR - It's all ***YOUR*** Fault.
Illegal error.  Do not get this error.
Inane tagline found.  Abort, Retry, Swipe a better one.
Insert diskette in Drive C. Press [ENTER] to continue.
Insufficient Memory Error ... Remove that stupid BUFFERS=2037463 line.
Insufficient resourses : insert Wallet into drive A: ...
Invalid COMMAND.COM, System disobeying.
Invalid path:  try the one not taken
IRS ERROR, TRW screwed, credit destroyed, foreclosure...
Keyboard error : Please do not press that button again.
Keyboard error: Press [F1] to continue [F2] to Abort!
Keyboard not connected, press <F1> to continue.
Keyboard not found.. think F1 to continue.
Mars Probe ERROR: A)bort R)etry T)ell 'em where I am?
Memory allocation error: Reboot System!
Memory ERROR on Brain1 - (R)eboot (S)mack upside the head
Memory Overload ERROR ... Meltdown Evident.
Memory overload error noted ... Meltdown now evident.
Memory parity ERROR - Turn computer on and off 12 times
Misspelled? Impossible. My modem is error correcting.
Moderator ERROR: Moderator deleted.
MulNtOitPaRsOkBiLnEgM?S-abort,retry,fail?
Never test for an error you don't know how to handle.
No device ERROR attempting to read user's mind....
No Errors Found - Hmmmmm, that can't be right.
Not Ready Error reading user's mind.
Notice!! Executive Error,  Starting Sysop Erasure
Oat bran can cause cereal output errors.
Op Code: EOI - Execute Operator Immediate
OPERATER ERROR.. (A)bort, (R)etry, (S)hoot...
Operating system overwritten.  Terribly sorry!
OPERATOR ERROR: Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah!
Over-tensioned the toaster-eject again?
PARODY ERROR: Can't Find File WEIRD_AL.EXE
PCBackup: 1 of 1362 disks.
Pieces of eight, pieces of nine...Awk parrotty error!
Polly want a Ham on Rye - Another parroty error
Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue ...
Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to store all new data:
Press any key to initiate auto-destruct sequence.
Pro-Choice, because "(R)etry, (I)gnore" doesn't cut it...
Pro-Lifer's DOS: Can't A)bort or DELete. Continue? (Y/y)
PROGRAM (n.) Organized sequence of counteracting errors.
Program ERROR: Unable to read user's mind!
Program too small to fit into memory.
READ ERROR: Remove cat from drive A:
REALITY.SYS Corrupted:  Re-Boot universe? (Y/N/Q)
Restore: disk read error (i)gnore (r)etry (f)ail (a)bort.
Sanity not found.  Abort, Ignore, Retry, Fail?
Sector not found: did you look under the sofa?
SEEK Error Reading Drive C:
Seek error reading drive Z:, reboot system!
Severe Error 102: Insufficient Coffee, Operator Halted.
Software Error: Programmer Held. Finish all activities
Stack Overflow. Press Any Key To Rebooty
STRING space corrupt?  But I always use TAPE!
Sysop not found! Please notify computer
System Crash  (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup
SYSTEM ERROR 1303: POWER NOT ON
SYSTEM ERROR. Press F13 to continue.
SYSTEM ERROR:  Place sacrifice at keyboard to continue.
SYSTEM ERROR:  press F13 to continue...
System Failure.  Push (B)ullshit  (W)hine  (S)urrender.
System halted -- Press any key to do nothing
Terminate botch job? [Y/N]
The number you have reached is not in service !
Throw the keyboard out the window to continue.
To err is human.  And stupid.
To err is human; to forgive, infrequent.
Toto, look, no resending errors in Windoze - NOT!
Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Processor Halted!
Unable to open LEVI.ZIP. Continue job? Y/N
Undetectable errors are always infinite in variety.
UNKNOWN WARNING... Contact your local dealer
Unrecoverable Application ERROR - Detonation follows.
Unrecoverable ERROR: File POLITICS.SYS is corrupt. Reformat? (Y/N)
Unrecoverable system error at 417A:32CF. Incompetent user
User error: Hit user with keyboard to continue.
User Error: Replace user, hit any key to continue.
Virus detected on your HD. .transfer aborted
Virus in the HD? who you gonna call? WORMBUSTERS
BMW             Babbling Mechanical Wench
BMW             Beastly Monsterous Wonder
BMW             Beautiful Masterpeices on Wheels
BMW             Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
BMW             Big Money Waste
BMW             Big Money Works
BMW             Blastphemous Motorized Wreck
BMW             Born Moderately Wealthy.
BMW             Break My Windows
BMW             Broken Money Waster
BMW             Broken Monsterous Wonder
BMW             Brutal Money Waster
BMW             Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
BUICK           Big Ugly Import Car Killer
Buick           Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Chevrolet       Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.
Chevrolet       Climbs Hills Even Valleys, Runs Over Logs Even Trees.
Chevy           Charged Heavily
Chevy           Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
Clinton         Caught Lieing In Nine Times Out of Nine
Clinton         Compulsive Liar In Nations Top Office Now
Clinton         Compulsive Liar Is Nations Top Official Now
D.A.M.N.        Naked Mothers Against Dyslexia
DELTA           Don't Even Leave The Airport
DELTA           Don't Even Let Them Arrive.
DELTA           Don't Expect Loved-one To Arrive
DLTBGYD!        Don't Let The Bastards Grind You Down
Dodge           Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
DODGE           Dead Or Dying Gerbil Engine
DODGE           Dirty Old Disgusting Greasy Engine
DODGE           Drips Oil, Drips Grease Everywhere
Dodge           Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere
Fiat            F**king Italian Attempt (at) Transportation.
Fiat            Failure In Automotive Technology
Fiat            Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
Fiat            Fix It Again Tony?
FORD            F***ed Over Rebuilt Dodge
Ford            F**ked On Race Day
Ford            F**ked Over Rebuilt Dodge
Ford            F**ker Only Runs Downhill
FORD            Figure On Repairs Daily
FORD            First On Race Day
Ford            First On Recall Day
FORD            Fix Or Repair Daily
FORD            Found On Road Dead
FORD            Found On Road Disabled
Ford            Found On Road, Dead
Ford            Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto's
Fuck            Franklin University of Cultural Knowledge
GMC             Garage Man's Companion
GMC             Gay Mens Car
GMC             Generally Mediocre Cars
GMC             Get More Chicks
GMC             Got More Crap
GMC             Gotta Nechanic comming...
HONDA           Help Our National Debt Accumulate.
IBM             I Bought McIntosh
IBM             I Bring Manuals
IBM             I've Been Moved
IBM             Idolized By Management
IBM             Impenetrable Brain Matter
IBM             Imperialism By Marketing
IBM             Incest Begets Madness
IBM             Incorrigible Boisterous Mammoth
IBM             Incredibly Bastardized Multitasking...
IBM             Inertia Breeds Mediocrity
IBM             Ingenuity Becomes Mysterious
IBM             Ingrained Batch Mentality
IBM             Innovation By Management
IBM             Insipid Belligerent Mossbacks
IBM             Insipidly Bankrolling Millions
IBM             Inspect Before Multiusing
IBM             Install Bigger Memory
IBM             Institution By Machiavelli
IBM             Insultingly Boring Merchandisers
IBM             Intellectuals Being Moronized
IBM             Intelligence Belittling Meaning
IBM             Intimidated, Buffaloed Management
IBM             Into Building Money
IBM             Intolerant of Beards & Moustaches
IBM             Invest Before Multi-tasking
IBM             Investigate Baffling Malodor
IBM             Irresponsible Behave Multinational
IBM             It Beats Mattel
IBM             It's a Big Mess
IBM             It's Better Manually
IBM             Itty Bitty Machine
JASSLA          Just Another Stupid Six-Letter Acronym
Jeep            Junk Each Eagle Produced
Jeep            Just Excrement Expensively Priced
MODEM           Monumentally Overpriced Data Eating Machine.
Mopar           Most Often Passed At Races
Mopar           Mostly Old Paint And Rust
Mopar           Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Plymouth        Please Leave Your Motor On Unless There's Help
Plymouth        Please Let Your Mother Out <from> Under The Hood!
Pontiac         Poor Old N***** Thinks It's A Cadillac
ROFL            Rolling On the Floor Laughing
RTFM            Read The Friggin' Manual
SAAB            Same As A Buick
SAAB            Stupid, Arrogant Asshole Babies
SAAB            Such An Arrogant Bastard!
SAAB            Swedish Automobile - Always Broken
SATURN          Sexy Alternative To Ugly Regurgative Nipponese.
SHIT            Sam Houston Institute of Technology
Toyota          Too Often Yankes Overprice This Auto
TWA             The Wrong Airline.
US-AIR          UnSafe and In the Red.
!{]  I must be brief, I'm going to explode soon..
!{] When the land cooled, there were many taglines..
"Hey Charlie - is it lunch time yet!" - Nigel Mansell.
"HORSEHOCKEY !"..... Sherman Potter.
"I see", said the blind man to his deaf wife...
"Tell me I won guys. Just tell me I won." - Nigel Mansell..
"This'll never stand up in court." - Peewee Herman..
"We're getting there ... bug by bug   :)" - Ron Janorkar.
"Windows NT Performance", on the next "In Search Of"
&^*$%#@!?>(&anks for hanging up the phone, dear!.
* SLAP! * Wake up, you're dreaming again!.
A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste..
A great many family trees were started by grafting..
A hungry man is not a free man. - Adlai Stevenson
A lesbian is just another woman trying to do a man's job..
A man is as young as the women he feels!
A man is not complete until he marries. Then he is finished.
A man with holes in pockets feels nuts.
A man with no destination is never lost.
A naked man fears no pickpocket..
A penny saved is an error of the tax man!.
A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it..
A woman drove me to drink. I never properly thanked her.
A woman, like music, should have a good end.
AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! MY Aching head!.
Adamant ignorance beats rational logic every time..
After God created woman, He atoned by creating beer.
Ah, a man after my own tart..
Alimony: the fee a woman charges for name-dropping.
All rising to a great place is by a winding stair..
An armed man: citizen.  An unarmed man: subject..
And... she was wearing this sexy freudian slip....
Are you coming quietly or do I need earplugs?.
Are you telling me there's a Donatello virus too?.
Bachelor: A guy who has cheated a woman out of a divorce.
Barfingnewgen: German Car Sickness.
Barfingnugen:  Getting car sick in a Volkswagen..
Be vewy, vewy quiet....I am hunting tagwines!.
Beatings will continue until morale improves..
Beef up your life.... Have a cow, Man!.
Behind every satisfied woman is an exhausted man.
Behind every successful man is woman with nothing to wear.
Believe in the Bible?  Hell, man, I've **seen** one.
Belly button: for salt when eating celery in bed..
Bigamy: one wife too many.  Monogamy: same idea..
Bureau of Natural Disasters - Planning Division..
But it worked in Beta testing!.
Canadians don't take kindly to being mistaken for Yanks!
Captain! Sensors are picking up a line eater!.
Captain! Sensors have detected a TagLine Thief!
Chipmunks roasting on an open fire...
Clink. That was just my $.02 being thrown in....
Committing suicide in Port Alberni is redundant.
Computers can never replace human stupidity.
Continue the petty bickering... it intrigues me..
Corrupted during download eh?!  ahahhaha.....
CURSES the humans have found me out!.
DANGER! Human at keyboard!.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular..
Did you say MNP means -  Modem Needs Petting!.
Do NOT look into laser with remaining eye!.
Doing nothing is tiring because you can't take a rest..
Don't humans just drive you nuts?
Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.
Don't take life too seriously, it's not permanent..
Don't waste time responding to your critics..
DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename"....
DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something....
DOUBLESPEAK ALERT! Man the battle stations! DOUBLESPEAK ALERT!
eh <=====learning to speak canadian.
Embarassment is grabbing the wrong buns by mistake!
EMBARASSMENT: Spitting out the car window when it isn't open..
Every abortion stops a beating heart....
Explaining the Unkown by means of the Unobservable!.
Faith is believing what you know ain't so..
Farfignewton: German for "ergonomic cookie."
Feminine of word "manager":  assistant manager..
Fight? We're not having a fight! We're just mad!
Fill out your Income Tax forms using Roman Numerals..
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your taglines!.
General Failure !  Why is he reading my disk?.
German Army Motto:  "Third Time Lucky"
German for bra: Haltsemfromfloppen!.
German for Constipation: 'Farfrompoopin'..
German virgin: Gutentight..
German word for constipation: Nichtkrappen!
Give a woman an inch and she thinks she is a ruler..
God, in creating woman, overestimated his ability
God: What one human uses to persecute another.
Gonads: The Real Man's Tools.
Got arrested going 14400 in a 2400 zone..
Got real close to seeing Elvis, but my shovel broke..
Guts: Putting "Moderator" in your twit filter.....
Guts: Putting the name "SYSOP" in your twit filter..
Hand-me-down clothing -- also known as sharewear..
He told you what it is for?.... amazing...
He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.
He's trying to jerk a chain that isn't connected.
Here's To The Man Who Has Loved Wisely...  The Bachelor..
Hey Kelli! Wanna see my PeeWee Herman impression?
His mind is like concrete - mixed up and permanently set!.
Hole drilled in ladies' room wall; police looking into it.
Holy bat, Mackerelman . . . ? ? ?  I mean, . . .
Holy mackarel, Batman! The fish thread is back!
How do you cure a woman of Nymphomania? Marry her!
How many babies can a motherboard have?.
How many licks DOES it take to get to the center?.
How many people get eaten while hand feeding alligators?
How many Windows jokes are there?   None!  It's all true.
How often do these things grow anyway?.
Human Error - It's all ***YOUR*** Fault.
Humans are such easy prey...
I am not young enough to know everything anymore..
I didn't get the documentation for the manuals!
I enjoyed dreaming that up
I love Standards, there are so many of them!
I really like women  -  Every man should own one.
I want a smart woman in a real short skirt.
I wish you humans would leave me alone.
I'll drink two of what the man on the floor is having..
I'm not biased, I just don't like certain things..
I'm not bored... I've just got nothing to do!.
I'm NOT making this up, you know!.
If clothes make a man, then what is a nudist?.
If love is blind, lingerie makes great braille!.
If money talks, Being a SysOp is pretty quiet!.
If you're looking for me, I just left..
If you're trying to drive me crazy, you're too late!.
Insomnia is not worth losing any sleep over..
Instant Human:  Just add coffee.
Is this the "perverse" side of you emerging? <G>...
It is human nature to think wisely and act foolishly..
It's a family thing.  It comes and goes..
It's a man's world?   So let him think so.
It's all just so darn frightening sometimes....
It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is...dead
King of all the Holodeck!.
KLEPTOMANIA!  Take something for it!.
Lorena Bobbit in Germany: Choppenderwienerhoffen.
Macho: A man who jogs home from a vasectomy.
Man and mouse alike,  both end up in pussy.
Man has his will,  but woman has her way!
Man the battlestations - someone wants to reason with us!
Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding bag.
Man who go to bed with itchy bum wake up with brown finger
Man who suck nipples make clean breast of things.
Manuel Labor...The Mexican Bandit
Masturbation: the human version of AUTOEXEC.BAT
Mating Call Of The Mail Duck:  "QWK! QWK! QWK!.
MicroSoft...Making tomorrow's mistakes today!.
Moderators hate ON-topic messages, nothing for them to do..
Mother Nature didn't plan on Human nature..
Moving parts require lubrication..
MS WINDOWS: Something the mouse dragged in..
MS-DOS Multitasking: Crashing both hard-drives at once..
MultiTask- Make twice the mistakes in half the time
Multitask: screw up several things at once!.
Multitasking?  Been doing it for years.. I'm a dad..
My friend.. you suffer from disorganized thinking.
My Hispanic/Chinese houseboy, Manuel Tai'ping does my taglines.
My mistakes are purely erroneous..
Never argue with a man carrying a water-buffalo.
Never Argue With a Mule, Woman or Kelli Williams.
Never eat anything bigger than your head..
Never Judge a man by his TAGLINE!.
Never judge a man by the Taglines he has stolen..
Never make love to a woman who's wearing spurs!
Next time you wave at me, use ALL your fingers!.
No amount of planning will replace dumb luck..
No man ever shot a woman while her mouth was shut..
No such thing as an incorrect tagline, man.
No woman has ever shot a man while he's doing the dishes..
Number One, please remove Wesley from the Bridge..
Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken..
One express elevator to hell ....going down!!.
One man's folly is another man's wife.
One man's signal is another man's noise..
One man's upload is another man's download..
Optimist: MS-DOS salesman with a pager.
Pardon my driving, I'm re-loading..
Poly(many)+tics (blood sucking parasites). Hmm...
Practice safe eating.  Use condiments..
Pro-Child, Pro-Family, Pro-Woman, Pro-Life.
Quit playin' with that thing.
Reality seems to be such a slippery thing..
Reality: an interesting hypothesis..
Sad fact about windows bashing is it's all true..
Seriousness is the very next step to being dull..
Show me a sane man.  I'll cure him for you.
Sit down, you're rocking the boat!.
So Many Toys. So little Money!
Sorry!  I was wiping the tears from my keyboard!.
Spiderman, spiderman! Does whatever a spider can...
Standards are wonderful.  So many to choose from!
Still miss my ex wife, but my aim is getting better..
Stupidity is defined only by the limits of humanity
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!!!.
TAGLINE: A line that does the work of many (lines) !
Take my advice.  I'm not using it..
Take two taglines and call me in the morning..
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand..
Teenage Hell:  A parent who's into BBSing..
The Blonde Sex Manual:  IN - OUT.  Repeat if necessary..
The Borg are coming! Quick! Try and look useless!!.
The LAPD ----- Treats ya like a KING ..........
The manual is kind of unclear on this.
The woman cries before the wedding; the man afterward..
There are many ways to handle women.   I don't know any.
They are crazy these humans..
They aren't called Mickeysoft for nothing !.
They called me a madman!    I'm not mad at anyone!
Thieves demand your money or your life... women want both
This is starting to get boring...
This place is turning devilish and scary!.
This should get interesting. Don't you agree?
This Tagline is especially for kleptomaniacs!
Those who can't write, write manuals..
To err is human, to forgive is... unlikely.
To err is human, to really mess, buy an IBM
To find a legless woman, follow the slime trail...
Too many people confuse free speech with loose talk.
Typical Bill Gates reprimand:  "That code is ORIGINAL!"
Ultimate memory manager; Windows, it manages to use it all..
Want lots of personal messages?   Just make a little mistake.
WARNING!  This Tagline is guarded by a killer dog..
We now return to our scheduled flame-throwing..
Weird but practicing to be eccentric.
What came first: the woman or the credit card..?
What is it like to make a mistake?
What Was The Greatest Thing Before Sliced Bread?.
When a man lies he murders part of the world.
Where does Avon find so many women willing to take orders
Why do so many blonds dye their roots black?
Why experiment on animals? There are many lawyers!.
Windows is NOT a virus. Viruses do something..
Wisdom begins by understanding the depth of one's ignorance..
With parts made in Japan, I am the modern man!
WOMAN.ZIP     Great Program, No Documentation!.
WOMAN.ZIP-Great Program. No docs, but fun to unZIP..
Women are great! Every man should own one!!!!!
WordPervert 6.9: for obscene writing!.
Would a pouting German be called a sour Kraut?
You pick a cold night to visit our planet, Earthman...
You presume far too much, little human.
You start having fun, they send in the lawyers.
You've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a shirt..
Your Yin and Yang are no longer on speaking terms..
"A crime against god is a demonstrated impossibility." [Ingersoll]
"A cult is a religion with no political power"  [Tom Wolfe]
"A dogma is the hand of the dead on the throat of the living." [Washburn]
"A dogma will thrive in soil where the truth could not get root."
"A handsome bonnet covers a multitude of sins."
"A miracle is not an explanation of what we cannot comprehend."
"A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes."
"A theologian is a person who uses the word "God" to hide his ignorance."
"A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it." [Oscar Wilde]
"All Bibles are man-made." --[Thomas Edison]
"All religions die of one disease - that of being found out." [Morley]
"An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support."
"And it is in his own image, let us remember, that Man creates God."
"Being unable to reason is not a positive character trait outside religion."
"Belief means not wanting to know what is true." [Nietzche]
"Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan in America." --[Jerry Falwell]
"Blasphemy is an epithet bestowed by superstition upon common sense."
"Blessings on the man who first dared to doubt." [Washburn]
"Call on God, but row away from the rocks." --[Indian proverb]
"Christianity is a black spot on the page of civilization."
"Christianity is like a slow clock -- always being moved ahead."
"Christianity is the enemy of liberty & civilization" --[August Bebel]
"Christianity is the most perverted system that ever shone on man."
"Civilization has come about by going to school more than to church."
"Common people do not pray, my lord: they only beg." [George Bernard Shaw]
"Do not thank God for what man does." [Washburn]
"Don't you know there ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk."
"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd."
"Every man thinks God is on his side.  The rich and powerful know he is."
"Every religion in the world that has destroyed people is based on love."
"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence." [Carl Sagan]
"Faith is often the boast of the man who is too lazy to investigate."
"Fascism is a religious concept." --[Benito Mussolini]
"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." [Mark Twain]
"God does not play dice with the universe." --[Albert Einstein]
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
"God is a concept by which we measure our pain." [John Lennon (1940-80)]
"God is usually on the side of big squadrons and against little ones."
"God is, as it were, the sewer into which all contradictions flow."
"God never helps those who need the help of men and women."
"God will forgive me; thats his business." --[Heinrich Heine]
"God's only excuse is that he does not exist." [Stendhal]
"Hell is where cowards have sent heroes." [Washburn]
"Heresy is a cradle; orthodoxy a coffin." --[Robert Ingersoll]
"Heresy is only another word for freedom of thought." --[Graham Greene]
"Honesty is never seen sitting astride the fence."
"I call him free who is led solely by reason." [Spinoza]
"I could prove God statistically." --[George Gallup]
"I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature." [Jefferson]
"I do not need the idea of God to explain the world I live in."
"I don't believe in god because I don't believe in Mother Goose." --[Darrow]
"I don't really miss god, but I sure miss santa claus!" --[Courtney Love]
"I have not the slightest confidence in 'spiritual manifestations.'"
"I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty"
"I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just." [Jefferson]
"I was at Bible camp, learning how to be more judgmental." [Mrs. Flanders]
"I'm a born-again atheist." --[Gore Vidal]
"I'm looking for loopholes." [W.C. Fields, when caught reading the Bible]
"If atheism is a religion, then bald is a hair color."
"If Atheism is a religion, then health is a disease!" --[Clark Adams]
"If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him." [Voltaire]
"If god doesn't like the way I live, Let him tell me, not you."
"If God exists, what objection can he have to saying so?" [Washburn]
"If God made us in His image we have certianly returned the compliment."
"If god really existed, it would be necessary to abolish him." --Bakunin
"If god wanted people to believe in him, why'd he invent logic then?"
"If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?" --[Bill Maher]
"If religion cannot restrain evil, it cannot claim effective power for good."
"If there is a God, he is a malign thug." [Mark Twain]
"If you love god, burn a church" --[Jello Biafra]
"In God we rust." --[Gordon Charrick]
"In the brain of every religious person there is a god shaped vacuum."
"Increasing knowledge lessens the sphere of the supernatural..."
"Is man one of God's blunders, or is God one of man's blunders?"
"It does not pay a prophet to be too specific." --[L. Sprague de Camp]
"It is best to read the weather forcast before praying for rain." [Twain]
"Jesus died to take our wibbles away, so now we can go to zonk."
"Jesus is just a word I use to swear with" --[Richard Harris]
"Kill them all and God will know his own." --[St. Dominic?]
"Let Bhagwans be Bhagwans." [Washington Post]
"Lighthouses are more helpful than churches." [Benjamin Franklin]
"Man is a dog's ideal of what God should be." [Andre Malraux]
"Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly upon our own point of view."
"Many people would rather die than think; in fact, most do."
"Moral indignation - jealousy with a halo." --[H.G. Wells]
"Most men would kill the truth if truth would kill their religion."
"Never join a religion that has a water slide."
"No kingdom has shed more blood than the kingdom of Christ." [Montiesque]
"No man ever yet tore down his altar and found a God behind it."
"No man was ever yet canonized for minding his own business."
"Not only is God dead, but just try to find a plumber on weekends." -WA
"One Galileo in two thousand years is enough." [Pope Pius XII]
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." --[Robert Heinlein]
"Orthodoxy cannot afford to put out the fires of hell." [Ingersoll]
"Our duty to the god of christianity is to bury him." [Washburn]
"People who rely most on God rely least on themselves."
"Piety could do nothing better than imitate morality." [Washburn]
"Prayer is begging from a pauper." [Washburn]
"Priest and God have formed some of the worst combinations in history."
"Priests will pardon thieves but not philosophers." [Washburn]
"Puritanism- The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".
"Reason should be destroyed in all Christians." [Martin Luther]
"Religion is a monumental chapter in the history of human egotism."
"Religion is comparable to a childhood neurosis." --[Sigmund Freud]
"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich." [Napoleon]
"Religion: just say `no'." --[Tim Smith]
"Religions are like farts.   Yours is good, but everyone else's stinks."
"Religions change; beer and wine remain" --[Harvey Allen]
"Religions tend to disappear with man's good fortune."
"Religious Cult:  The church down the street from yours." [_B.C._ cartoon]
"Sacred cows make the tastiest hamburger." --[Abbie Hoffman]
"Saints fly only in the eyes of their disciples." --[Hindu proverb]
"Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proven innocent."
"Same religion that saves - Damns You" --[Sepultura]
"The best defense against Christianity is a good Christian Education"
"The Bible is "a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology."
"The Bible is one of the most genocidal books in history" --[Noam Chomsky]
"The conquering of fear is the beginning of wisdom" [Bertrand Russell]
"The convent is opposed to all that is sacred in human nature."
"The cross everywhere is a dagger in the heart of liberty."
"The cross people carry to-day is made of gold or set with diamonds."
"The day of the Bible is passed. Books have taken its place." [Washburn]
"The egg of prayer never yet became a chicken." [Washburn]
"The feet of progress have always been shod by doubt."
"The hands that help are better far than the lips that pray."
"The happy do not believe in miracles." --[Goethe]
"The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike." [Delo McKown]
"The man who gets on his knees has not learned the right use of his legs."
"The man who wants to be an angel is never in a hurry to begin."
"The noble soul has reverence for itself" [Nietzsche]
"The truth cannot be asserted without denouncing the falsehood."
"The unnatural, that too is natural." --[Goethe]
"The way to make money is to start your own religion." --[L. Ron Hubbard]
"The whole of religion has been one uniform curse to the human race..."
"The word heretic ought to be a term of honour..." --[Charles Bradlaugh]
"The world is in need of less religion and more common sense."
"Theology is but the ignorance of natural causes reduced to a system."
"There are no saints, only unrecognized villains."
"There are ten church members by inheritance for every one by conviction."
"There can be no peaceful coexistence with homosexuals" [Kevin Tebedo]
"There is a God, but He drinks" --[Blore]
"There is greater argument in one fact than in all the creeds."
"There is no justifiable Christianity in this age." [Washburn]
"To hate man and worship god seems to be the sum of all the creeds."
"To hell with the U.S. Constitution." --[Father Bernard Leeming]
"To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition." --[Woody Allen]
"Truth in matters of religion, is simply opinion that has survived."
"We are god because only we can create his existence within our minds."
"We are not accountable for the sins of "Adam" --[Robert G. Ingersoll]
"We are then to conclude that Christianity is held only by the ignorant."
"We don't have to protect the environment, the Second Coming is at hand."
"What Christian love cannot do is effected by a common hatred."
"What has God revealed to man that has ever helped him get a living?"
"When belief in a god dies, the god dies." --[Harlan Ellison]
"When religion comes in at the door common sense goes out at the window."
"When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers." [Oscar Wilde]
"Where are you homosexuals going to go when we win?" [Kevin Tebedo]
"Where the cross has been planted only superstitions have grown."
"Who is more godless than I, that I may rejoice in his teachings?"
"Who made who?" --[AC/DC]
"With soap, baptism is a good thing." --[Robert G. Ingersoll]
"You who hate the Jews so, why did you adopt their religion?" [Nietzsche]
"Your soul will be dead even before your body: fear nothing further."
A zealot's stones will break my bones, but gods will never hurt me.
Any belief worth having must survive doubt.
Atheism makes sense for America.
Bend over for the rod and staff of Jesus!
Blasphemy is a blast for me.
Evolution is both fact and theory. Creationism is neither.
God is real, unless declared integer.
Humanity's first sin was faith; the first virtue was doubt.
I love Jesus, Yes I do.  Baked or broiled or in a stew...
If God is perfect, why did He create discontinuous functions?
If you ask the wrong questions you get answers like '42' or 'God'.
Jesus -- The other white meat!
Jesus Christ: Imaginary Playmate to Millions of Adults!
Jesus is coming!  Wear your rubbers!
Jesus was adopted.
Keep Christ out of Christmas.
Nine out of ten priests who have tried Camels, prefer young boys.
Obey Psalms 137:9!
Religious reasons do not excuse violence: they accuse religion.
Saint:  A dead sinner revised and edited. --[Ambrose Bierce]
They found Noah's ark, but there was a sign on it: 'Made in Hong Kong'
Trinity -- a three for one sale on deities.
What a f iend we have in Jesus!
Why be born again, when you can just grow up?
"Always remember that it takes two to start a flamewar."
"Brilliant... Genius... Best message of 1993!" -- N.Y. Times
"Misunderstanding is very easy in Echo life." -- Mayhew
"REP..  REP..  REP.." - Frog with a QWK packet stuck in his throat
*WARNING* Message explodes when deleted!
2 x 4 bbs - a basic board.
4 of 5 Sysops prefer donuts; one prefers men...but he's strange.
<- Grains Of Salt.  Take As Needed With Above Message.
<CTRL><ALT><DEL> to read the next message.
A bad day: "Transfer completed (5720468 bytes, 1 CPS)"
A fool and his money are SysOp material.
A message from the depths of Hell!
A QWK a day means you're offline!
A social life?  What board do I download THAT from?
Aaaahhhhh-CHU!  Not Virus, BBS Fever.
Ahh! Come on Mr SysOp, just this one last little feature!
All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.
All rational thought goes out the window when you start a bbs:)
And another message from the young upstart.
And I've got 4,567 archived messages to prove it.
And now for some feedback:  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
And now we return you to your (ir)regular conference.
And on the 8th day, God created echo mail.
Annual shots will protect FIDO from Disease !
Are You Kidding?  I NEVER Lurk!
As flames run rampant on the net, I state my disclaimer:
As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code.
Asking whether a message is off-topic is itself off-topic.
AT&GETMAIL&READMAIL&REPLY&STEALTAG
Aw, Honey... Just one more message, honest...
Back off, pardner! I have a twit filter and I'm not afraid to use it.
BBS 'till you drop - carrier
BBS busy.  (C)all back later  (T)hrow tantrum?
BBS Not Ready.  Error Reading User's Mind.  Start Again.
BBS Tip #45: ALT-H gives you SysOp access!
BBS: a method to triple your phone bill.
BBS: When hive insects start telling tales.
BBS=Busted Broke SysOp. Now you know what it *REALLY* means!!
BBS?  But where do the thumbtacks go?
BBSers do it and watch it on the monitor.
BBSers do it with .ZIP.
BBSing - all the social dynamics of pre-school!
BBSing ... time's blackhole.
BBSing is a fun, relaxing hobby after a hard days work
BBSing's like sex, except for not wanting to get off.
BBSing: Files, folks and fun
Birdmodem: ZRCHRP Received. Sending SEEDS.LZH
Bored of insulting ya friends ? Join FIDO and insult 'em before they come
Boy Am I Tired! It Must Be The NET-LAG!
Broadcast Message AT 4:45pm   Brain going down immediately.
But I wanna get my mail packet, I wanna, I wanna,I wanna!
Call Waiting may cause your security level to drop!
Can you believe it?  This message really does end?
Can you teach an old SysOp new tricks?
Cap'n!  The twit filter canna take much a more a 'dis.
Catch the wave.�����..�����..�����..�����..�����..�����
Caution, Student BBS'er at the Wheel...
CAUTION--The Users Bite
Chit chat and drivel unwelcome here
Common BBS talk:  FUWOTD - Fed up with off-topic discussion.
Confidence is telling someone how to use his Twit Filter.
CONFLICT: Answering the E-mail..vs.. Doing the housework
CONFLICT: Answering the mail...Doing the housework
Confuse People: Quote from the wrong message
Congratulations!  You are the one--millionth user to log into our system.
Congratulations!  You have now used up another 250 hours of CPU time.
Current Protocol: None Selected
Cut the abusers....cut the abusers...! Leave the thread!
Definition of a SysGod : Lord of the Files
Did you really understand that message?
Disatisfied with BBS performance?  Hit <CTRL><ALT><DEL> to improve it.
DISK CRASH BBS - 360K ONLINE
Do not bother to reply.  You have been twitted.
Do your good deed for the day, Bribe a sysop. ;)
Don't argue with he who uploades REPs by the megabyte.
Don't point at me, get your own damn BBS.
Don't stop posting, a good laugh breaks up my day nicely
Drop a conference??? are you kidding or what?
Eat when hungry, drink when thirsty, hack whenever
Echo Mail is my life... Oh ghod, somebody shoot me!
EchoMindlesslyViolentSociopath.
EchoNetics:  The power of electronic brain control.
EchoVisciousSociopath.
Email - in one eye, out the other...
Error finding COLDBEER.CAN  Sysop not loaded!
Every thread needs a needle
EZ come ... EZ go SLMR come... SLMR stays!
Fido has been a good dog.  He's been bringing me messages.
Fido hungry.  Fido eat messages.  Bad Fido...
Fido must be sick. Its nodes are stopped up!
Fido!  Get off the furniture!  How many times...
Fido's been a bad doggy again... Naughty Fido..
FIDO: Frequently Intermittent Dog Offerings
Fidonet Flamers have uncontrolled vowel movements...
FidoNet....Have message, will eat..
Fidonet:  Those dogs howling at each other in 101 Dalmations.
Fold and tear here. Tape closed before mailing. ---
For next message hold ALT and CTL and "." on number pad...
For sincere personal advice, page your SysOp at 3 A.M.
For those who choose to BBS with the very best.
Friends don't let friends drink and post.
Friends don't let friends use Discovery 80.
Friends don't let friends use XMODEM!
GETTING BEHIND? OFF Top... oh, yes, I see what you mean...
Go ahead, make my day, Just touch my MODEM!
Going where no reader has ever gone before!
GROWL the SNORT GRUMBLE possessed GRRRRRR bbs ROOAARRR!
Guard! Guard! Get this hacker off my board.
Guts:  Putting the name "SYSOP" in your twit filter.
Guts: Putting "Sysop" in your twit filter.....
Hack, hack, hack, hack, eat, sleep.  Hack, Hack...
Happy nodes to you ... till we echo again.
Hark!  What email from yonder modem breaks?
Hark! What mail from yonder modem breaks?
Has this conference been sprinkled?????
He's got Blue Wave fever and it's spreading through the message bases!
Help reduce junk mail. Send personal messages
Here I sit in a tizzy; all my favorite Boards are busy!
High message: 943432.  Message you last read: 59.
Homework time limit exceeded.  Auto logon in effect.
HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS A NEW USER?
How's hacking, chiphead?
Huh?  What?  Am I on-line?
I am the terror that posts in the night.
I BBS because no one can read my handwriting.
I can't hear you over all this line noise!
I compacted my editor but my messages are no smaller?
I Don't do drugs - Echos are my escape from reality
I Don't have a life, I have a BBS...
I don't have a REAL life - I'm a BBS addict!
I dont know how your stupid message got past my twit filter.
I hAtE wHeN pEoPlE tYpE lIkE tHiS... iT gIvEs Me A HeAdAcHe!!!
I keep sending messages to all, but all never answers.
I know this is off-topic, but...
I now have time for a QWKie
I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
I only started a BBS to save on the phone bill
I put "ALL" in my twit filter.  Nobody sends me mail anymore.
I should have BBSed all night...
I sure do love those BBS's.
I think we're supposed to *read* the messages... heh heh heh.
I twitted everyone when I went MO.
I twitted myself, keeps things impersonal.
I twitted myself, so all my mail is addressed to All or Occupant.
I use Kermit for file transfers but my files end up green.
I used to have money in the bank, now I have a BBS
I wanted a manly mail reader... I got a silly one <sigh>
I was BSer long before I became a BBSer!
I'd rather ride the Wave than wallow in QWKsand!
I'll put you in my twit filter if you'll put me in yours.
I'm a modemer and I'm OK, I post all night and I sleep all day.
I'm coming Dear, I only have 437 more messages to read!
I'm NOT addicted.  I just use the modem all the time.
I'm not off-topic, I'm just on a different topic!
I'm not off-topic. I'm on a different topic.
I've dialed and I can't hang up!
if (line[0] == 0x01) twit(insert your name here);
if exist STTNG.TAG twitflt (insert your name here);
If I had a twit filter, how could I read messages from me?
If I used the twit filter, I'd be the only one posting here.
If I'm in your twit filter then you haven't read this.
If there ain't no BBS in Heaven, I ain't going!!
If there are no BBS's in Heaven, then it isn't Heaven!
If this is an echo, how come we don't hear it?
If you can read this you have a modem.
If you can't beat the message, beat the messenger.
Imagine no BBS's.  I wonder if you can?
In a minute, Honey... Just one more message! ...  Honey??
In a VERY weak moment, I started a BBS.
In Case of Fire, Log off Promptly
In search for the perfect comm program...
Insufficient time remaining to download.  Pull hair (Y/N)
Is FIDO a dog?
Is it magic...? No, it's Silly Little Mail Reader!
Is that my phone bill or the national debt!?
Isn't this the "Lesbian mercernary pro-life biker nuns on acid" conference?
It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a
Just about Anything is considered to be "on topic" on This Board!<G>
Just say NO to single-menu BBS software!
Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the Taglines echo,
Let me know right away if you don't get this message.
Let's Play Mail Tag......You're it.
Life is too short to learn Z-Modem !
Line noise provided by ASIO's BBS monitoring service.
Line noise?  What fh=.hElL is.LinS nfise?
Lizzie Borden.... America's FIRST hacker!
LUCIFERnet raising HEll coast to coast!
Mail junkie and offline reader pimp!
Mail packet: Dehydrated letters, just add computer!
Mama's Don't let your babies grow up to be Sysop's
Message 1 of 1653489.
Message Base Of The Living Dead.
Message contents may settle during mailing\:...:/
Message Flamers have uncontrolled vowel movements...
MODEM? I've been calling this BBS with a Tarot deck and a spoon!
Mom said:"If you can't post something smart, post lots."
More stuff that's older than any computer getting this conference...
My epitaph:  Sysop not buried here.  Leave feedback instead?
My husband says either he goes or my echo mail goes-I'm gonna miss him
My life is starting to interfere with my mail reading!
My message above.  Your response here ____________.
My twit file runneth over.
My twit filter just twitted me!
My Twit filter just twitted You.
Neither rain or snow or l?ne noise..
Net mail, now where did my opener go..
Netmail spanking is not fun...
Never argue with a dragon, or a sysop.
New Mail not found.  Start whine-pout sequence? (Y/N)
Next time, when all else fails, read the ENTIRE message, dimwit.
No abusive language in this message, so a reply is expected.
No mail?  Give fido a laxitive.
No tag: user twitted.
No!  Some people collect mail packets?  Really?
Not enough mail??? Here, let me help.
Note:  Virus in message has been passed to your system.
Now this is a Serious Topic Of Discussion!  Any Takers???
Of COURSE I'm on topic. (Which echo is this?)
Off by CRASHING COMPUTER. Time Logged: ߔ�ܽ$׃Ð���
Off-topic and DAMN PROUD
Officila BbS of peo ple whocant' type alll that wlel/
Offline 135 ... is offline, the Wave killed it!
Oh where oh where has that FIDO dog gone, oh where oh where...
OK Dear, I'll turn it off 'IN JUST A MINUTE' [sigh]
Okay - right after this one we're BACK to the TOPIC!
Okay, the message is over.  Why are you still here?
Old BBSers don't die, they just drop their carrier.
On this BBS, we recycle all of our bytes, bit by bit.
One of the few BBSes with a subwoofer.
Online again? When do you sleep?...
ONLINE? Hit <ALT+H> for a quick I.Q. Test!
Open mouth, insert foot, echo internationally.
Please leave your message after the the dial tone.
Please return sysop to original upright position.
Please Tell Me if you Don't Get This Message
Portions of this message have been pre-recorded.
Press ALT-H to post disagreement with this message...
Prodigal - Wasteful. Worthless. Prodigy - Hmmm!
Quote everything! There are people out there that HATE that!
QWaK! QWak! SPLASH!  Another QWaKer washed out by the Wave.
QWK? I don't need no stinkin' QWK packet!
RC> SF> GP> WD> KF> JP> MM> BG> JH> MF> stop quoting this
Real hackers never make typso.
Real hackers' method: COPY CON: PROGRAM.EXE
Really, honey, just one more message.
Remain seated until this message comes to a complete stop.
Remind me never to put you in my twit filter!
Replies to off topic messages are off topic as well.
Ride the Wave!
ROBONAP- sleeps for you while you are online.
Running a BBS is best left to those committed..to an asylum!
Rush Limbaugh is an obnoxious twit. I know, he's at all the meetings.
Save trees - do everything online
Skeptical?  Eat this message now.
So many BBSs, so little time!
So many bytes, so few cps.
So many echos, so little time!
Stamp out QUOTERS' DISEASE!
Start a download. Get a beer. Multitasking.
Stop picking your nose and go to the next message.
Stop scratching your ass and go to the next message.
Sysop Justification No.1: Because I'm the Sysop; that's why!
SysOp:  (n) One who constantly reconfigures.
Take a minute to delete a twit or two.
Take a minute to delete a twit user or two.
That is why my phone bill was $978.37! My wife is BBS hunting again!
The BBS in English.
The BBS of the Stars!
The BBS on a mission from God.
The BBS that 'Rocks Philadelphia'.
The BBS that asks the question, but doesn't care about the answer.
The BBS that boldly goes.  We haven't figured out where yet.
The BBS that cares enough to send the very best.
The BBS that dares to ask the question: 'Huh?'
The BBS that gives your modem an April fresh smell.
The BBS that glows in the dark.
The BBS that looks GREAT in silk stockings.
The BBS that never repeats repeats itself itself...
The BBS that never sleeps.
The BBS that promises an orgasm on each call... SO, we lied.
The BBS that they invented autodial for.
The BBS to have when you're having only one.
The BBS with a hint of musk.
The BBS with Take-out.
The BBS with the best g-spots...er...g-files around.
The BBS you wrote home about...
The BBS your mother warned you about.
The Blue Wave echo, were suggestions are taken seriously!
The d/l ain't over 'til the fat table dings.....
The drama!  The suspense!  The phone bills!
The first stereophonic BBS.
The fully interchangeable BBS.
The Industrial Strength BBS.
The official BBS of Nothing.
The only BBS with its number scrawled on bathroom walls.
The PARITY CHECK is in the E-MAIL!
The person that posted the message has been sacked.
There are Satanic messages in the preceding message.
There seems to be an ECHO in here!
There's more to BBSing than meets the modem.
They don't call it Fight-O-Net (tm) for nothing!
This is a CONFERENCE - not a podium.
This is great, bugger the phone bill...
This message base has become a rhetorical dumping ground.
This message has been skipped for lack of naughty bits.
This message is from Hooterville.  I climbed a pole with laptop.
This message is made from 100% recycled electrons.
This message is not supposed to be here!
This message released to public domain.  Use at your own risk.
This message was posted on America's Least Wanted!
This message was prerecorded.
This message was typed on recycled phosphorus.
This message will self destruct in 9 seconds. Press "N" to abort.
This MSG written by pouring warm tea on an Ouiji board.
This never happens on other systems I call.
This transfer via DSZ ver...say, what day is it anyhow?
To err is human, to forgive is against FidoNet policy!
To leave a message, press *7123#85621, or wait for the beep.
Too many boards, not enough phone lines.�
Top Secret Message:  Please Read, Print, and Eat.
Try the RELIGION echo...They profess to have all the answers anyways!!
TWIT.DAT = 16 Megs? No wonder I never get any mail!
Twitting is futile. I will just post under an assumed name!
Type unto others as you would have them type unto you.
U.S. Robotics HST DS - Go broke saving money!
Ultra Top Secret Message:  Burn before reading!
Unauthorized System Access.  User Terminated.
UNRECOVERABLE USER ERROR - Terminating current user
User - A term used by sysops.   See "idiots"
Users do it off-topic
Users: Keep them dry and don't feed them after midnight.
V42bs:Cmprsn'sWrkngFne
Ve have vays of makink you obey zee rules on zia board!
W*&t?  I th^%k w% h@$% s%m# l&n$ n*&se.
Wanna give Fido fits?  Address your message to "SYSOP!"
Wanna REALY enjoy your mail?  Be .QWK about it!
Warning BBS under construction!
Warning, Message Truncated!
Warning, This message may cause drowsiness.
Warning: not responsible for contents of posts made after midnight ;-}
We do NOT accept Collect Calls on BBS!...
We just kidnapped this BBS.  Send 100 dollars, or else !
We now return you to...The Thread That Would Not Die
Well, I'm off to D/L a file...Wish me luck.
Well, Ok, but just a QWKie...
What are you doing?!? The message is over, GO AWAY!
What do you mean this isn't the teenage lesbian nazi hookers echo?
What?  You mean this *isn't* the Mindless Chatter echo?
What?!? This isn't the Files section?!?
Where Great Grandmother posted her bulletins.
Where nothing is simple, except for some of the users.
Where the message base is in 3D.
Who *was* that masked mailer?
Who needs drugs?  Just read this Echo....
Who WAS that masked mailer?
Who...Me? Just as soon as I check the BBS
Why am I picking up this echo on my VCR?
Why do I run a BBS?  Because I'm an IDIOT!!!!
Why not REPLY and make this person happy!!
Why use anything but Telix for communications
Without BBSes, life itself would be impossible.
WWhhaatt   ddooeess   dduupplleexx    mmeeaann??
Yea, yea..once a hobby, now an expensive addiction!
Yes my son, long ago mail was read 1 packet at a time.
Yes, I know I'm off-topic.  Thank you for your concern.
You are in a maze of twisty messages, all alike.
You Are This BBS's Most Appreciated Caller.
You can stop reading now, I've finished my message
You can't MobyTurbo with an internal Z!
You have 60 mins a day, BUT you cannot d/l unless you
you know you're hooked when:  you answer people in chat out loud
you know you're hooked when:  you are in chat by yourself and like it
you know you're hooked when:  you Blue Wave EVERY conference
you know you're hooked when:  you can understand your taglines
you know you're hooked when:  you can't get away from the screen
you know you're hooked when:  you consider BBS subs the ultimate gift
you know you're hooked when:  you consider BBSing better than chocolate
you know you're hooked when:  you consider BBSing better than ice cream
you know you're hooked when:  you consider BBSing better than sex
you know you're hooked when:  you consider file listing serious research
you know you're hooked when:  you copy every tagline you can find
you know you're hooked when:  you don't care if you never get phone calls
you know you're hooked when:  you don't eat supper until breakfast time
you know you're hooked when:  you dream of new Trade Wars moves
you know you're hooked when:  you experience "screen vision"
you know you're hooked when:  you feel depressed when you can't log on
you know you're hooked when:  you flame yourself to watch the action
you know you're hooked when:  you forget how to leave your screen
you know you're hooked when:  you get excited by the time bank balance
you know you're hooked when:  you get nervous when away from the BBS
you know you're hooked when:  you have treads on your fingertips
you know you're hooked when:  you hold the world's record for posting
you know you're hooked when:  you know all the local BBS files by heart
you know you're hooked when:  you laugh out loud at the taglines
you know you're hooked when:  you log on right at midnight after reset
you know you're hooked when:  you post a test to yourself every day
you know you're hooked when:  you post messages to see your name in print
you know you're hooked when:  you realize you never sleep anymore
you know you're hooked when:  you refuse to pry your fingers from the keys
you know you're hooked when:  you sign your handle to your checks
you know you're hooked when:  you spend all night making up taglines
you know you're hooked when:  you talk BBS instead of soaps
You mean there are BBS's that AREN'T run by drunks?
You mean, we have ANOTHER modem to feed?
You must have had your messages WINTER IZED!
You want something to worship? Try your SysGoddess.
You'd have to put it in reverse to become a twit.
You're about forty miles south of being a twit.
Your E-Mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage
Zippy the pinhead is a twit.
ZMODEM has bigger bits, softer blocks and tighter ASCII
 Whoa! We're there dude! -- Butthead
"*Come* to Butt-Head...." - Butt-Head, to attractive women
"*Now* we're getting somewhere." - Beavis
"....then it would RULE!" - Butt-Head
"2400 baud sucks.  Huh-huh huh." - V.Bis & Baudhead
"A Marine can stand ANYTHING!" - Buzzcut
"And what's more, I don't *give* a rat's ass." - Butt-Head
"Are you threatening me?" - Beavis
"Beavis - he's got the Playboy Channel!" - Butt-Head
"Beavis has a magic Johnson; it disappears into his hand." - Butt-Head
"Beavis is not dog food... Huh uh huh... He's worm food!" - Butt-Head
"BEAVIS!  What is your major malfunction?" - Buzzcut
"Beavis, are you sure you're ready for this?" - Butt-Head
"Beavis, don't ever take that tone with me!" - Butt-Head
"Beavis, don't you *ever* tell me to shut up." - Butt-Head
"Beavis, I'm a little disappointed in you." - Butt-Head
"Beavis, we need to start a band.  TODAY." - Butt-Head
"Beavis, you gotta get a whiff of this!" - Butt-Head
"Breakin' the Law, Breakin' the Law!" - Beavis & Butt-Head
"BURGER WAR!!!" - Beavis & Butt-Head
"But Mrs. Dickie, Beavis & Butt-Head are complete imbeciles." - Daria
"But under these circumstances, it sucks." - Beavis
"Butt-Head, Butt-Head! Come quick! Bare ass on TV!" - Beavis
"Can I get some nachos?" "No!" "Are you sure this is heaven?" - Beavis
"Can we be in your will?" - Butt-Head
"Cartoons now just suck!" - Beavis
"Change it, Butt-Head!! This sucks!! This Sucks!!!" - Beavis
"Check it out.  There's something cool coming up." - Butt-Head
"Check out my butt!" - Beavis
"Choking is cool man, heh uh huh huh..." - Beavis
"Come out with your pants down!" - Beavis
"Could you like shut up and give us some money?" - Butt-Head
"Dammit, Beavis!  Pull your pants up!" - Butt-Head
"Dammit, Beavis, if there's one thing I know, it's chicks." Butt-Head
"Dammit, Beavis, you are messed up!" - Butt-Head
"Damn, we're smooth!" - Beavis
"Depeche Mode is French for `We're wussies.'" - Butt-Head
"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrhea cha cha cha...." - Beavis & Butt-Head
"Did it, like, get quiet?" - Butt-Head
"Disguise your voice!" - Beavis  "Shut up, Beavis..." - Butt-Head
"Does not your scrotum need kicking?" - Beavis
"Does this mean that Beavis'll hafta shave his butt?" - Butt-Head
"Don't bogart my log, dude" - Butt-Head
"Don't make me kick your ass again, - Butt-Head
"Drums, guitars, death.  They finally got it right." - Butt-Head
"Dude, if you don't know, I'm not gonna tell you!" - Butt-Head
"Dude, you should start wearing a cup!" - Butt-Head
"Dude...we have the power supreme!" - Butt-Head
"Even the old dude is cool." - Butt-Head
"Excuse me, Beavis.  I have to go spank my monkey." - Butt-Head
"Excuse me, sir, are you dead?" - Beavis
"Fire!  Fire!  Fire!" - Beavis
"Get a haircut, hippy!" - Butt-Head
"Get the kite, Beavis." - Butt-Head
"Getting kicked in the nads by a cow sucks!" - Beavis
"Go on with your bad self, Beavis!"
"Go to hell, Beavis." - Butt-Head
"Good catch, Butt-Head." - Buzzcut
"Good thinking, Beavis." - Butt-Head
"He said penal!" - Beavis
"He's dressed up like that dude on the dollar." - Butt-Head
"He's, like, communicating telepathetically." - Butt-Head
"Heh, heh...Hey Beavis, rock stalking is cool!" - Butt-Head
"Here's a little tale from my nut sack!" - Cryptkeeper Beavis
"Hey Beavis, he's fallen and he can't get it up!" - Butt-Head
"Hey Beavis, I hear disco is making a comeback!" - Butt-Head
"Hey Beavis, you know we could like, go to jail for this?" - Butt-Head
"Hey Butt-Head!  These things cost money!" - Beavis
"Hey Butt-Head, change it or kill me." - Beavis
"Hey Butt-Head, does this suck?" - Beavis
"Hey Butt-Head, have you noticed this video sucks?" - Beavis
"Hey Butt-Head, I can sing like this guy." - Beavis
"Hey Butt-Head, this guy has the same last name as you." - Beavis
"Hey Butt-Head, what were we born to do?" - Beavis
"Hey!  It was free, asswipe!" - Butt-Head
"Hey, Beavis - she's thinking about our weiners." - Butt-Head
"Hey, Butt-Head, I think I understood something he said!" - Beavis
"HOSPITAL, Butt-Head!  HOSPITAL!" - Buzzcut
"How 'bout that one: The Grunge That Stole Christmas?" - Butt-Head
"How do you forget something like that?" - Principal McVickers
"How old are you, Beavis?" - Butt-Head
"Huh huh huh - Settle down, Beavis!" - Butt-Head
"I AM CORNHOLIO!  I need TP for my bunghole!" - Beavis/Cornholio
"I didn't know something could kick this much ass!" - Butt-Head
"I don't get it.  It's supposed to pack an awesome buzz." - Butt-Head
"I don't like stuff that sucks!" - Butt-Head
"I don't think we should go back in there, dude." - Butt-Head
"I have a stiffy." - Beavis
"I have seen the way." - Butt-Head  "Yeah - *that* way." - Beavis
"I just made my pants dirtier." - Butt-Head, "Washin' the Dog"
"I like to burn stuff." - Beavis
"I order you to undress and show me your thingies." - Capt. Butt-Head
"I oughta hit you more often, Beavis!" Butt-Head  "You hit me?" Beavis
"I see the beauty." - Butt-Head
"I wish I had a face on my butt." - Butt-Head.
"I'd like a 1/4 Pounder & 2 dozen chicks in tight shorts." - Butt-Head
"I'll wound your inner child.  Then I'll kick your ass!" - Beavis
"I'm just gonna shut my mouth and watch." - Beavis
"I'm Lolita, and this here's Tanka Rae...."
"I'm no Don Johnson ya know...." - Butt-Head
"I'm pretty cool, Beavis, but I can't change the future." - Butt-Head
"I've never seen a puppet with hooters like that!" - Butt-Head
"If I had boobs like that, I'd never leave the house!" - Butt-Head
"If I wanted to read, I'd go to school." - Butt-Head
"If I was Madonna, I would like, fondle my boobs constantly." - Beavis
"If only all videos could be like this." - Butt-Head
"If she was a real punk rock girl she'd eat him alive." - Butt-Head
"Is Pokey gonna get his own video too?" - Butt-Head
"It doesn't get any better than this, dude." - Butt-head
"It doesn't just suck, it...it, like, REALLY sucks!" - Beavis
"It's a poodle - set it on 'Delicate.'" - Beavis
"It's high noon on my sundial!" - Butt-Head
"It's my turn to be the judge, asswipe!" Butt-Head
"It's not fair! we're not gonna score!" - Beavis
"It's over my head." - Beavis  "It's under my butt." - Butt-Head
"LEAK! LEAK! LEAK!!!" - Buzzcut
"Let's go get some nachos!" - Beavis
"Look!  Mouseburger and french flies!" - Beavis
"Manly yes, but Beavis likes it too!" - Butt-Head
"Money just for getting hurt?  That's cool!" - Butt-Head
"Monster face and wuss music do not go together." - Butt-Head
"My dentist always looks at my nads.  I have full coverage." - Beavis
"My Three Son-of-a-bitches...." - Beavis, on Classic TV
"Nachos rule." - Butt-Head
"Naughty naughty...very naughty naughty...naughty!" - Beavis
"No wonder you're such a wuss." - Butt-Head
"No, I'm sorry, sir, we're not offering the butt tattoo promotion."
"No, no, Butt-Head, no, I can't settle down!" - Beavis
"No, that's not it.  Change it."  - Butt-Head
"Not everyone can be as cool as us!" - Butt-Head
"Not tonight, boys, call me when you get some pubes, OK?" - Babes-R-Us
"Now he's gifted." - Beavis
"Now see, that's what I'm talking about, right there!" - Butt-Head
"Now, for the last and most intense move..." - Butt-Head
"Oh - I see you brought some friends." - Butt-Head
"Oh yeah?  How old are you Beavis?" - Butt-Head
"Okay, Beavis, that's enough about poop." - Butt-Head
"Okay, we've got chicks, we've got computer stuff...." - Butt-Head
"On the count of one, unzip your pants!" - Buzzcut
"On the count of three, start leaking!" - Buzzcut
"On the count of two, take out your penises!" - Buzzcut
"On your WHAT!?" - Butt-Head
"One gallon of gas please." - Butt-Head
"PBS is pretty cool." - Butt-Head
"Polly wanna Alka-Seltzer?" - Beavis
"Right on dude!" - Butt-Head
"Saw off his tweeter!" - Butt-Head
"Score one for the secret cervix!" - Butt-Head
"Sea monkeys are cool.  Can you spank a sea monkey?" - Butt-Head
"Settle down, Beavis!  You're gonna soil your drawers!" - Butt-Head
"Shut up Beavis.  Don't make me kick your ass again." - Butt-Head
"Shut up!  You probably score!  And you're a dork!" - Beavis
"Shut up, or I will KILL you!  Do you understand?" - Buzzcut
"Smells like... teen spirit." - Butt-Head
"Stop in the name of all that which does not suck."  -  Butt-Head
"Suffer, dude!" - Butt-Head
"Take that, dumbass." - Beavis
"Tell us again about the end of the world, Socko!" - Beavis
"Testes, Testes.  1... 2... 3?" - Butt-Head
"Thank you, drive through." - Beavis
"Thanks for the mammaries..." - Beavis
"That answer was incorrect.  The penalty is death." - Butt-Head
"That was beyond the limits of good taste." - Beavis
"That was NOT cool." - Butt-Head
"That white smoke is starting to piss me off!" - Butt-Head
"That would be cool.  I'll go get the pliers." - Butt-Head
"That's pretty smooth, Beavis." - Butt-Head
"That's right, SEX-ED week!!" - Buzzcut
"THE CHAIR! THE CHAIR! THE CHAIR!  GIVE 'EM THE CHAIR!!!" - Beavis
"The fatter they are, the fatter they fall." - Butt-Head
"The forecast is partially cool..." - Butt-Head
"The future sucks; change it!" - Beavis
"The more things change the more they suck." - Beavis
"Then he said 'masturbation'!" - Beavis
"Then he said 'penis'!" - Butt-Head
"Then he said 'vagina'!  That was cool!" - Butt-Head
"There's always been TV.  There's just more channels now." - Butt-Head
"These chicks would not talk to us." - Butt-Head
"These effects aren't very special." - Butt-Head
"These guys are pretty cool for a bunch of mimes." - Butt-Head
"These guys have no future!" - Butt-Head
"These guys live on the edge." - Butt-Head
"These guys understand the importance of a good butt." - Butt-Head
"They're gonna spend an eternity in Hell." - Butt-Head
"Thinking sucks!" -Beavis
"This guy seems pretty cool." - Butt-Head
"This is COOL!" - Butt-Head
"This is gonna be cool." - Butt-Head
"This is irritating." - Butt-Head
"This is like all wimpy and stuff." - Beavis
"This is musical masturbation!" - Butt-Head
"This rules!  It rules!  Yeah!  Yeah!" - Beavis
"This sucks!  No medicine, no buzz." - Butt-Head
"This sucks.  Let's burn something." - Butt-Head
"This sucks.  Let's get outta here." - Butt-Head
"This video needs more explosions and close-ups of butts." - Butt-Head
"Thou shalt not suck." - Butt-Head
"Uh-oh, Butt-head...I feel a seizure coming on."
"Uh-oh.  Wait a minute.  What's this?  This sucks!" - Butt-Head
"Uh... that was pretty cool.. now what?" - Butt-Head
"Uhh, that isn't chocolate, Beavis." - Butt-Head
"Uhhh, do you use that language at home?" - Butt-Head
"Uhhh, we think you're like, cool. Huh-huh...." - Beavis & Butt-Head
"Uhhhhhh, No." - Butt-Head
"Use the choke-hold!  The choke-hold!" - Beavis
"UUhhh, no thanks.  That won't be necessary." - Butt-Head
"UUhhhhhh, OK." - Butt-Head
"Wait a minute.  What's this?  This sucks." - Butt-Head
"Washin' the dog!  Washin' the dog!" - Beavis and Butt-Head
"Watch your back, homie." - Beavis
"We're done."  "Of course you are, boys, of course you are." - Buzzcut
"We're gonna be wussies forever!  It's gonna suck!" - Beavis
"We're old enough to smell bad." - Butt-Head
"We're, like, closed or something..." - Butt-Head
"Well, whatever it was, it gave *me* a stiffy!" - Butt-Head
"What a dork!" - Butt-Head
"What are you, some kind of butt ventriloquist?" - Butt-Head
"What do you know, asswipe?" - Beavis
"What the hell is this crap?" - Butt-Head
"What the hell is this guy saying?" - Butt-Head
"What's this butt-munch doing on the stage?" - Butt-Head
"When your wiener's happy, you're happy." - Beavis
"Where did this guy come from?" - Butt-Head
"Whoa!  It's Hammer time!" - Butt-Head
"Whoa!  It's that dude!  The Grim Rapper!" - Butt-Head
"Whoa!  Preach on, Brother Beavis!" - Butt-Head
"Whoa!  We're there, dude!" - Butt-Head
"Whoa!  You look REAL cool now!" - Beavis
"Whoa! Is this the weather channel?" - Butt-Head
"Whoa! She just had sex? Why don't they show that?" - Butt-Head
"Whoa!"  "Yeah!"  "Whoa!"  "Yeah!" - Beavis & Butt-Head on nude babes
"Whoa, head rush!  Hey, Butt-Head, do my ears look funny?" - Beavis
"Whoa...it's you! - Butt-Head
"WHOOMP, there's my butt!" - Butt-Head
"Would you like to SEE my bunghole?" - Beavis
"YES!  It's about time they played something cool." - Butt-Head
"YES!  Now we're getting somewhere!" - Butt-Head
"You asked for it, dude...." - Butt-Head
"You asswipe!  I was about to have a wet dream!" - Butt-Head
"You butt...uh, head...." - Butt-Head
"You can't polish a turd, Beavis..." - Butt-Head
"You do not want to face the wrath of my bunghole!" - Cornholio
"You guys are never gonna get any." - Daria
"You have awakened my bunghole, and now you must pay!" - Cornholio
"You idiots!  That's a live grenade!" - Army recruiter, B&B
"You just made a fatal mistake, Mr. Candy-ass!" - Buzzcut
"You know what else sucks?" - Butt-Head
"You know what sucks, Beavis?" - Butt-Head
"You need stuff that sucks to have stuff that's cool." - Butt-Head
"You sound really stupid most of the time." - Butt-Head (to Beavis)
"YOU STINK OF DEATH!" - Buzzcut
"You watch Oprah? What a wuss!" - Butt-Head, to Beavis
"You're a butt-monkey, Beavis!" - Butt-Head
"You're a dumbass, Beavis." - Butt-Head
"You're a little too good at that, Beavis...." - Butt-Head
"You're a man?  NO WAY!  Huh huh huh...." - Butt-Head on Boy George
"You're a prevert, Beavis!" - Butt-Head
"You're disgusting, Beavis!" - Butt-Head
"You're full of good ideas today, Beavis!" - Butt-Head
"You're gonna soil your drawers!" - Butt-Head
"You're pretty stupid, Beavis." - Butt-Head
"You've gotta have the right tool for the job, Beavis." - Butt-Head
"Your dentist inspects your nads?" - Butt-Head
"Your skin is purple, man - I don't dig you!" - van Driessen
30 seconds of Beavis & Butthead is like 30 hours of the 3 Stooges.
A Butthead virus would be annoying! uh huh huh uh Your system sucks!
A Marine can stand ANYTHING! - Buzzcut
After these messages, Beavis & Butthead play nice.
America's Beavis & Butthead: clinton and gore.
Are you Beavis or Butthead??
Are you threatening me? - Beavis
Beavis and Butthead are not role models....
Beavis and Butthead: MST3K for morons.
Beavis has a magic Johnson- It disappears into his hand -Butthead
Beavis is not dog food! .. huh uh huh He's worm food!
Beavis lied for your SIMMS....
BEAVIS! What is your major malfunction? - Buzzcut
Beavis, are you sure you're ready for this? - Butthead
Beavis, don't ever take that tone with me! - Butthead
Beavis, you gotta get a whiff of this! - Butthead
BEVIS and BUTTHEAD are actually based on most of MTV's viewers.
Blame Beavis and Butthead, they made me do it...
Borgus & Butthead: Huh huh huh assimilation is cool!
Borgus & Butthead: Huh huh You said assimilation!
Breakin the Law, Breakin the Law, huh huhh - Beavis & Butthead
Brother, said Pooh, as Beavis and Butthead roasted Piglet.
BURGER WAR!!! - Beavis & Butthead
Bush/Quayle disappear from public view, & Beavis & Butthead appear...
But Mrs. Dickie, Beavis & Butthead are complete imbeciles.
Butthead! Butthead! Come here quick. Bare ass on TV!
Butthead, Butthead! Come here quick! SQUID baseball on tv! huh huh
Butthead, Butthead! Come quick! Bare ass on TV!
C'mon Butthead, change it. Change Butthead. This sucks!
Can I get some nachos? No! Are you sure this is heaven? -Beavis
Change it! Change it, Butthead!! This sucks!! This Sucks!!!
Check it out Beavis, it's one of those laboratory retrievers!
Check it out. There's something cool coming up. -- Butthead
Check out my butt! - Beavis
Clinton and Gore - The Bevis and Butthead of politics
Clinton and Gore: Beavis and Butthead do DC...
Clinton/Gore - DC's version of Beavis and Butthead!
Clinton/Gore elected then Beavis & Butthead appear. Coincidence?
Clinton/Gore elected; Beavis & Butthead appear. Coincidence?
Clinton/Gore is to the presidency as Beavis & Butthead are to cartoons.
Close only counts in horseshoes and lemonade or something... -Butthead
Come out with your pants down! -Beavis
COOL! THIS RULES!!! -Beavis and Butthead on the Invid Invasion
COOL!! THIS RULES! - Beavis and Butthead on Urotsukidoji
Could you like shut up and give us some money? -Butthead
Damn, we're smooth! -Beavis
Damnit Beavis! Pull your pants up! -Butthead
Death by..uh Saw off his tweeter!- Butthead 'n Lorena Bobbit...
Depeche Mode is French for we're wussies. -- Butthead
Diareaha cha cha chaa, Dirareaha cha cha cha....-Beavis & Butthead
Did you know that BBS stood for Beavis and ButtheadS ?
Disguise your voice Shut up, Beavis...
Does not your scrotum need kicking? - Beavis
Don't bogart my log, dude -Butthead
Don't make me kick your ass again, %UN! -Butthead
Dude, if you don't know, I'm not gonna tell you! -Butthead
Dude...we have the power supreme! - Butthead
Even the old dude is cool. -- Butthead
Excuse me, Beavis. I have to go spank my monkey. -Butthead
Filmmaker: "What is your 'raison d'�tre?'" Beavis: "It's in my pants!"
Fire! Fire! Fire! - Beavis They can't ban that from my tagline!
Getting kicked in the nads by a cow sucks! - Beavis
Go on with your bad self, Beavis!
Good catch Butthead. -- Mr. Buzzcut
Guitars, drums, and death..they finally got it right -Butthead
He said penal! -Beavis
He's dressed up like that dude on the dollar. -- Butthead
HEADLINE: President & VP change names back to Bill Beavis & Al Butthead.
heh heh..He said HARD DRIVE..heh heh -(Beevis & Butthead)
Hehe hehe hehe... That was cool... Hehe Hehe. -- Butthead
Hey Beavis, he's fallen and he can't get it up!
Hey Beavis, I hear disco is making a comeback! -Butthead
Hey Beavis, you know we could like, go to jail for this? - Butthead
Hey Butthead! These things cost money! - Beavis
Hey Butthead, change it or kill me. -- Beavis
Hey Butthead, I can sing like this guy.
Hey Butthead, pull my finger. NO WAY, pull my leg. huh huh huh
Hey Butthead, what were we born to do?
Hey Butthead. Change it or kill me. -- Beavis
Hey Butthead. Does this suck? -- Beavis
Hey Butthead. Have you noticed this video sucks? -- Beavis
Hey Butthead. This guy has the same last name as you. -- Beavis
Hey! It was free a**wipe! -- Butthead
HOSPITAL, Butthead! HOSPITAL! - Buzzcut
How 'bout that one: The Grunge That Stole Christmas? -Butthead
How old are you, Bevis? -- Butthead
huh huh huh Settle down, Beavis! - Butthead
Huh huh. Barney sucks. Heh heh heh. Shut up Butthead.
Huh huh...uh...huh huh...Minmei Sucks! -Beavis and Butthead
Huh uh huh uh, You said .WAD! -Butthead
huhh, ..he said RAM!, hehh, uhhh... (Beevis & Butthead Reply)
I am Beavis of Borg. Umm-umm-mmm Yeah-right-cool Butthead.
I am Butthead of Borg. Assimilation is...uh...cool! he he.
I am Butthead of Borg. Uh-huh-huh-huh Assimilation's cool...
I am Butthead of Borg: Prepare to be, uh, ass imilated.
I am ButtHead, a Borg. Duh-Uh, Resistance sucks.
I AM CORNHOLIO! I need TP for my bunghole!
I am the Great Cornholio! I need T.P. T.P for my bunghole! -Beavis
I can't remember names so I'll just call you Butthead.
I confess that I love Pooh and have never seen Beavis and Butthead.
I don't get it. It's supposed to pack an awesome buzz. -- Butthead
I don't like stuff that sucks! -Butthead
I have a stiffy. -Beavis
I just made my pants dirtier. -Butthead in Washin' the Dog
I know Butthead it might be cool but it's going to give me a seizure.
I like it too.. but you don't have to slobber all over me, Beavis!
I order you to undress and show me your thingies. - Capt. Butthead
I sure get a kick outta that Beavis & Butthead show! -Primus
I wish I had a face on my butt - Butthead.
I'd like a 1/4 Pounder & 2 dozen chicks in tight shorts. - Butthead
I'll wound your inner child. Then I'll kick your ass! -Beavis
I'm Lolita, and this here's Tanka Rae....
I'm no Don Johnson ya know.... -- Butthead
If I wanted to read I'd go to school. -- Butthead
If only all videos could be like this. -- Butthead
If she was a real punk rock girl she'd eat him alive. -- Butthead
Is Pokey gonna get his own video too? -- Butthead
It doesn't get any better than this, dude. -Butthead
It doesn't just suck, it...it, like, REALLY sucks! - Beavis
It's a poodle... set it on delicate. -- Butthead
It's high noon on my sundial! -Butthead
It's my turn to be the judge, asswipe! Butthead
It's not fair! we're not gonna score! - Beavis
It's over my head. -- Beavis It's under my butt. -- Butthead
Knight Sabers Baseball!!! -Beavis & Butthead as Boomers.
Let's go Crevis..and remember we're not from here! - Butthead
Let's go get some nachos! -Beavis
Located next door to the Beavis & Butt-Head School of Social Graces.
Manly yes, but Beavis likes it too! -- Butthead
Monster face and wuss music do not go together. - Butthead
My dentist always looks at my nads. I have full coverage. - Beavis
Nachos rule. -- Butthead
Naughty naughty... very naughty naughty.. naughty! -Beavis
No, I'm sorry, sir, we're not offering the butt tattoo promotion.
No, no butthead no I can't settle down! - Beavis
No, that's not it. Change it. -- Butthead
Not everyone can be as cool as us! -Butthead
Not tonight, boys, call me when you get some pubes, OK? - Babes-R-Us
Now he's gifted. -Beavis
Now which one does Bill Clinton play in the show, Beavis or Butthead?
Now, for the last and most intense move - Butthead.
Oh Bother! said Pooh, Beavis and Butthead are roasting Piglet!
Oh oh. Wait a minute. What's this? This sucks.... -- Butthead
Oh yeah? How old are you Beavis? -- Butthead
Oh, Bevis! And I thought you were so rugged!
Oh, let it be done. -- Butthead
Old people suck! huh uh huh Butthead
On your WHAT!? -- Butthead
One gallon of gas please. -Butthead
Our polls are rising! huh uh huh huh -Butthead
PBS is pretty cool. -- Butthead
Polly wanna Alka-Seltzer? - Beavis
Right on dude! -- Butthead
Saw off his tweeter! -Butthead
Score one for the secret cervix! -Butthead
Sea monkeys are cool.Can you spank a sea monkey?-Butthead
See, you need stuff that sucks to have stuff that's cool -Butthead
Senor Butthead, Como es Juan? Uh, burritos! huh huh huh
Settle down Beavis. You're gonna soil your drawers! - Butthead
She's only 17.. - This is Joey Butta-fuko's theme song. -- Butthead
SHUT UP asswipe! you probably score! heh! and you're a DORK!-Beavis
Shut up! You probably score! And you're a dork! - Beavis
Shut up, Beavis! Oh, sorry man!
Shut up, or I will KILL you! Do you understand? - Buzzcut
Slow down! Yeah! Slow down or shut up! -Beavis & Butthead
Smells like... teen spirit. -- Butthead
Stay tuned as Beavis wounds Butthead's inner child.
Stay tuned as Butthead moons Beavis' inner child.
Suffer, dude! -Butthead
Testes, Testes 1... 2... 3? -Butthead
Thank you everybody, we're Nine Inch Nails. -Butthead
Thank you, drive through. -Beavis
Thanks for the mammaries... -Beavis
That was NOT cool. - Butthead
That white smoke is starting to piss me off! -Butthead
The forecast is partially cool... -Butthead
The future sucks... change it... -Beavis
The Problem with Bevis & Butthead is which one is clinton???
Then it would RULE! -- Butthead
These effects aren't very special. -Butthead
These guys are pretty cool for a bunch of mimes. -- Butthead
These guys have no future! Butthead
These guys live on the edge. -- Butthead
These guys played at the state fair last year - Butthead on Loverboy.
These special effects aren't very special. -- Butthead
Thinking sucks! -Beavis
This guy seems pretty cool. -Butthead
This is COOL! -- Butthead
This is irritating. -- Butthead
This is musical masturbation! -Butthead
This post is over my head. Yeah, it's under my butt. -Butthead
This sucks! No medicine. No buzz - Butthead.
This sucks. Let's burn something. -- Butthead
This sucks. Let's get outta here. - Butthead
This video needs more explosions and close-ups of butts - Butthead.
Thou shalt not suck. - Butthead
Uh-oh, Butthead.. I feel a seizure coming on.
Uh... huh huh here's like one we just wrote.... -Butthead
Uh... that was pretty cool.. now what? -Butthead
Uhh.. we're like closed or something... -Butthead
Uhhh, do you use that language at home? - Butthead
Uhhh, we think you're like...cool. Huh-huh.... Beavis & Butthead
Uhhhhhh, No. -- Butthead
Use the choke hold! ...the choke hold! -Beavis
UUhhh, no thanks. That won't be neccessary. -- Butthead
UUhhhhhh, OK. -- Butthead
Wait a minute. What's this? This sucks. - Butthead
Wash'in the dog! Wash'in the dog! --Beavis and Butthead.
We should start a band and call it Butthead Butthead.
We're done. Of course you are, boys, of course you are. - Buzzcut
We're gonna be wussies forever it's gonna suck! - Beavis
We're old enough to smell bad. -Butthead
We're we're we're gonna like never score! - Beavis
What a dork! -Butthead
What are you, some kind of butt ventriloquist? - Butthead
What do you know, asswipe? -Beavis
What the hell is this crap? - Butthead
What's this butt-munch doing on the stage? -- Butthead
When your wiener's happy, you're happy. - Beavis
Where did this guy come from? -- Butthead
Whoa! Is this the weather channel? -Butthead
Whoa! It's Hammer time! -- Butthead
Whoa! It's that dude! The Grim Rapper! -- Butthead
Whoa! You look REAL cool now! - Beavis
Whoa...it's you! - Butthead
Whoomp, there's my butt! -Butthead
Why is it whenever I tell Butthead to change it, he never does it?
Would you like to see my bunghole? -Beavis
Yeah I've been injured. I've got a big crack in my butt - Butthead.
YES! It's about time they played something cool. -- Butthead
YES! Now we're getting somewhere! -- Butthead
Yes, it is a very manly soap. Manly, yes, but Beavis likes it too!
You asked for it dude. . . . . - Butthead
You asswipe! I was about to have a wet dream! -Butthead
You butt.. uh head.... -Butthead
You can't polish a turd, Beavis but I bet it was pretty cool to try!
You could have Butthead sit on a glass jar and fart.
You stink of death! - Buzzcut
You watch Oprah? What a wuss! Butthead on Beavis.
You're a man? NO WAY! huh huh huh - Butthead on Boy George.
You're pretty smart, Butthead - Beavis
You're pretty stupid, Beavis. -Butthead
You've gotta have the right tool for the job, Beavis. - Butthead
Your dentist inspects your nads? - Butthead
YYYOOUU...Got what I neeeeed... -- Butthead
Bimbabble - noise coming from a table full of blondes.
Bimbae - more than one bimbo
Bimbait - perfume worn by blondes in a bar.
Bimbarf - what bimbai do after a session in the bar.
Bimbastard - child of a bimbo.
Bimbastic Surgeon - specialist in breast enhancements for blondes
Bimbattle-axe - blonde mother-in-law
Bimbeeper - homing device for lost bimbos
Bimbessence - aura created when a bimbo enters a room.
Bimbette - a small bimbo.
Bimbezzle - a blonde bank teller.
Bimbi - blonde with the traditional bimbo name Bamby.
Bimbino - a baby bimbo.
Bimbitude - state of being a bimbo.
Bimblaze - result of bimbo trying to cook.
Bimblur - vision created by blonde in a red sports car on the freeway.
Bimbob - a bimbo's boyfriend.
Bimbobble - a blonde playing catch.
Bimboo - an oriental bimbo.
Bimbooboo - mistake made by a bimbo.
Bimbooze - well drinks.
Bimboozle - to defraud a bimbo.
Bimbore - blonde who uses the word "like" more than 5 times in a sentence.
Bimbosity - degree of being a bimbo.
Bimbouy - a blonde in the water.
Bimboy - a male homosexual bimbo.
Bimburger - bimbo surrounded by 2 guys.
Bimp - The Goodyear Bimbo.
Bimple - a bimbo with acne.
Bumbo  - a jumbo bimbo.
Bymnasium - a health club for bimbos.
                                  " - Lao Tzu
                                  " - Marcel Marceau
                                  -- CLOSED FOR TAGLINE DEVELOPMENT --
                                  <- *Generic Tagline*
                                  <- CENSORED BY THE TAGLINE POLICE
                                  <- Cloaked Tagline
                                  <- Don't procrastina
                                  <- Empty tagline
                                  <- Generic All-Purpose Tagline
                                  <- I Forgot To Add A Tagline
                                  <- Invisible Tagline
                                  <- Nope, I'm over here!
                                  <- out of Order
                                  <- Place Tagline here
                                  <- Politically Correct statement.
                                  <- Right-wing tagline
                                  <- Space reserved for tagline
                                  <- Spaced out tagline
                                  <- Stealth Tagline
                                  <- Tagline abducted by aliens!
                                  <- Tagline with a cloaking device.
                                  <- This is a Cloaked T     e -*
                                  <- This is off-center
                                  <- This space intentionally left blank
                                  <- This Tagline Thinks It's Invisible
                                  <<< Tagline prohibited by law >>>
             [ insert witty, yet poignant tagline ]
             [ OUT OF TAGLINES, PLEASE ORDER MORE ]
             [ Tagline has been cleared to prevent burn-in]
             [ This Tagline has been removed by U.S. Customs]
!                              <- Tagpunctuationwithexclamationaryintent
... None of you exist; my Sysop types all this in!
      Acute.................... Opposite of an ugly.
      Adnoid................... Domino's Pizza character.
      Advil.................... Used to hammer things on.
      AIDS..................... Helpers or Assistants.
      Anally................... Occurring yearly.
      Anus..................... Latin word for Hillary.
      Aphrodisiac.............. An African disc jockey.
      Artery................... study of fine paintings.
      Aspirin.................. Having great ambitions.
      Bacteria................. Back door to a cafeteria.
      Barium................... What doctors do when treatment fails.
      Benign................... What you are after you be eight.
      Blood.................... A type of Gang.
      Bowel.................... A letter like A, E, I, O, or U.
      Bruise................... A six-pack.
      Caesarean Section........ A district in Rome.
      Capsule.................. A space ship.
      Cat Scan................. Searching for kitty.
      Catarrh.................. Stringed instrument.
      Catheter................. String instruments.
      Cauterize................ Made eye contact with her.
      Cerebral Palsy........... Hands playing in the Cereal.
      Clitoris................. A type of flower.
      Colic.................... A sheep dog.
      Coma..................... A punctuation mark.
      Concussion............... A prisoner's sofa pillow.
      Condom................... Apartment complex.
      Congenital............... Friendly.
      Constipation............. An important U.S. document.
      D&C...................... Where Washington is.
      Diaphram................. A drawing in geometry.
      Diarrhea................. Journal of daily events.
      Dilate................... To live long.
      Dildo.................... Variety of sweet pickle.
      Douche................... Italian word for "12."
      Enema.................... Not a friend.
      Erection................. When the Japanese vote.
      Feces.................... What Bill Clinton sees in the Mirror.
      Femur.................... Not a Male.
      Fester................... Quicker.
      Fibula................... Small lie.
      Fracture................. A number less than one.
      G.I. Series.............. Baseball series for soldiers.
      Genital.................. Non-Jewish.
      Grippe................... Suit case.
      Hair..................... Rodent with long ears.
      Hangnail................. Coat hook.
      Heart.................... Bow & Arrow target.
      High Colonic............. Jewish religious holiday.
      Hospital................. An unknown person ejecting saliva.
      Immune................... Congressional perk.
      Impotent................. Distinguished; well known.
      Infection................ russians coming to the U.S.
      Intense pain............. Torture in a teepee.
      Intestines............... Beta version of forks.
      Jaundice................. To include in a group.
      Jaw...................... A shark without as much teeth.
      Joint.................... A location or place.
      Kinesthetics............. A relationship towards relatives.
      Labor Pain............... Getting hurt at work.
      Laceration............... Dainty material allotment.
      Leper.................... A wild cat.
      Lesbian.................. person from the Middle East.
      Lesion................... A unit of Roman Army.
      Loin..................... Not fat.
      Lymph Node............... Where special Fairy lives.
      Lymph.................... A special Fairy.
      Major Operation.......... A job for the Major.
      Malaria.................. Several shopping Stores.
      Mamogram................. A telegram to Mom.
      Manic Depressive......... A man pressed down to the floor.
      Medical Staff............ Doctor's cane.
      Medicare................. A partial care.
      Meningitis............... Getting a Man.
      Menstrual cycle.......... Bloody vehicle for men.
      Menstruation............. Male Model display.
      Midwife.................. Second wife in three marriages.
      Migraine................. Not your wheat.
      Minor Operation.......... Coal digging.
      Miscarriage.............. Firing a Rifle and missing a target.
      Morbid................... Higher offer.
      Mucus.................... Not quite in focus.
      Nitrate.................. Cheaper than a day rate.
      Node..................... Was aware of.
      Organic.................. Musical.
      Orgasm................... Person who accompanies the church choir.
      Outpatient............... person who has fainted.
      Ovaries.................. French egg dish made with cheese.
      Papsmear................. Fatherhood test.
      Pelvis................... Cousin of Elvis.
      Peter Pan................ Small wash basin in a whore house.
      Pornography.............. Business of making record albums.
      Post-operative........... Letter carrier.
      Prostate................. Flat on your back.
      Protein.................. In favor of young people.
      Pubic Hair............... Wild rabbit.
      PWA...................... Airline Service.
      Recovery Room............ Place to do upholstery.
      Rectum................... Dang near killed him.
      Rheumatic................ Amorous.
      Scalpel.................. What Indians used to do.
      Scar..................... Rolled tobacco leaf.
      Scrotum.................. Small planet near Uranus.
      Secretion................ Hiding something.
      Seizure.................. Roman Emperor.
      Semen.................... A sailor.
      Serology................. Study of knighthood.
      Sex...................... What comes after five.
      Smoke.................... What comes after sex.
      Sodomy................... special kind of fast growing grass.
      Sonogram................. A telegram from your son.
      Stat..................... Info on baseball cards.
      Stimulant................ Wad of hundred dollar bills.
      Tablet................... A small table.
      Terminal Illness......... Getting sick at the airport.
      Testicles................ Sucking sacks found on an octopus.
      Tibia.................... Country in North Africa.
      Tumor.................... More than one.
      Ultrasound............... A loud noise.
      Umbilical Cord........... Part of a parachute.
      Urine.................... Opposite of "You're Out."
      Vagina................... Heart trouble.
      Varicose Veins........... Veins very close to each other.
      Varicose................. Near by.
      Vein..................... Conceited.
      Weak..................... seven days.
      Zit...................... Dog Command.
"(WHACK!) That was a bookcase--do you feel better?"  --Pirate Jenny
"3 Million years!  I've still got that library book!" * Lister
"A Bestiary of Plant Eaters" - by Herb Avore.
"A Long Walk" - by Miss DeBus
"A Trip to the Outhouse - by Willie Makeit
"Acrophobia Explained" - by Alfredo Heights
"Advertisments" - by Bill Board
"All About Kissing" - by Miss L. Toe
"All Alone" - by Saul E. Terry
"Allegiance To The King" - by Neil Downe
"Animal Scents" - by Farrah Mones
"Antlers in the Treetops" - by Hugh Goos deMoos
"Archery Made Simple" - by Beau N. Arrow
"Artificial People" - by Frank N. Stein
"Artificial Weightlessness" - by Andy Gravity
"Bad Cow Jokes" - by Terry Bull
"Bad Money" - by Count R. Fitz
"Baker's Man" - by Patty Cake
"Battle Axes" - by Tom A. Hawk
"Birds" - by C. Gull
"Books will speak plain when counsellors blanch." -- Bacon
"Brown Spots on the Wall" - by Who Flung Doo
"Burglary" - by Jimmy Delox
"Care For A Chop?" - by Marsha Larts.
"Cats" - by Ann Gora
"Cloning" - by Ima Dubble
"Cosmetology" - by Rosie Cheeks
"Crime Does Not Pay" - by Laura Norder
"Crowd Control" - by General Panic
"Day in the Life of a Dentist" - by Phil McAvity
"Dealing With Mistakes" - by E. Ray Sur
"Deep Secrets" - by Kent Tellem
"Desert Crossing" - by I. Rhoda Camel
"Did you read it in one of your books?" -- Harley Stone
"Discipline in the Home" - by Wilma Child Begood
"Don't judge a book by its cover!" -- Frank N. Furter
"Don't Tread On Me" - by Amanda B. Reckonwith
"Don't Wake The Baby" - by Elsie Cries
"East Coast Resorts" - by Nan Tuckett.
"Eat any good books lately?" Q
"Ecclesiastical Infractions" - by Cardinal Sin
"Errors and Accidents - by Miss Takes and Miss Haps
"Everything Explained" - by Kitt N. Caboodle
"Explosives Made Easy - VOL II" - by Click N. Boom
"Explosives Made Easy" - by Stan Wellback
"Fade Away" - by Peter Out
"Falling off a Cliff" - by Eileen Dover
"Fill in the Box" - by Mark Detest
"Fly By Night Gift Distribution" - by S. Claus
"Foot Coverings" - by Sue Sansox.
"French Cousine" - by Sue Flay
"Fun Times in the Sleeping Bag" - by Nap Sack
"Guide To Mixology" - by Bart Ender
"Halloween Activities" - by Bob N. Forapples
"Handel's Messiah" - by Ollie Luyah
"Head of Security" - by Barb Dwyer
"Hit Below the Belt" - by Lord Howitt Hertz
"Home, Sweet Home" - by A. Bachelor
"How I Won The Marathon" - by Randy Hoelway
"How Radio Works" - by Anne Tenna
"How to Annoy" - by Aunt Agonize
"How to be a Lumberjack" - by Tim Burr
"How To Fix A TV Set" - by Yul B. Sorry.
"How to Get Rich Quick" - by Robin Banks, Jack Potts, & Kermit Grimes
"How to keep your conference on topic" - by Mod R. Ator
"How to Lose Weight" - by X. R. Sizemore
"How to Relieve pain" - by Ann L. Gesick
"How to Tell the Future" - by Chris Taball
"How To Tune Up Your Auto" - by Carl Humm.
"How to Write a Will" - by Ben E. Factor
"How to Write Letters" - by Adiline Moore
"How We Got to Bethlehem" - by Don Keys
"I am Hopelessly Lost" - by Wareham I. Now
"I Didn't Do It" - by Ivan Alibi
"I Hate Housework" - by I. M. Laizee
"I Hate the Sun" - by Gladys Knight
"I Like Fish" - by Ann Chovie
"I Like Liquor" - by Ethyl Alcohol
"I Love Mathematics" - by Adam Up
"I Say So!" - by Frank O'Pinion
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose." s.w.
"I'm Someone Else" - by Ima Nonymous
"I'm Tired" - by Anita Rest
"I'm writing a book.  I've got the page numbers done." s.w.
"I'm writing and unauthorized auto-biography." s.w.
"In my book, food should be nutrition and entertainment." * Calvin
"Inflammation" - by Arthur Itis
"Irish Dentistry" - by Perry O'Dontal
"It Won't Work!" - by Mel Function
"It's All In Your Head" - by Madge Ination
"It's Commander Book."  "He's read, Jim."
"IT'S IN THE BOOK!"
"Kidnapped" - by Caesar Quick
"Late Again" - by Misty Buss
"Lawrence Welk in China" - by Anna Wong, Anna Tieu
"Leo Tolstoy" - by Warren Peace.
"Little Fishes" - by Anne Chovey
"Many Are Cold, But Few Are Frozen" - by Minnie Sota
"Medically Soothing Beverages" - by Dr. Pepper
"Miss Demeaner" - by Park Flasher
"My Desert Crossing" - by I. Rhoda Camel
"My Happiest Day" - by Trudy Light
"Never read any book that is not a year old."-Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Oh, very clever Worf.  Eat any good books lately?" -- Q
"Pain and Sorrow" - by Anne Guish
"PC Board Repairman" - by Solder Medic
"Play It Safe" - by Justin Case
"Polar Exploration"        - by U.R. Cole and I.M Freezin
"Popping the BIG One" - by Mary Mepleeze
"Preparing Leather" - by Tanya Hyde
"Professional Boxing" - by I. C. Stars
"Red Vegetables - Vol II" - by B. Troot
"Red Vegetables" - by Tom A. Toe
"Salad Dressings" - by Myra Culwhip
"School Reader" - by C. Dick & Jane Run
"Sharing Indian Beverages" - by T. Fatto
"Songs For Children" - by Barbara Blacksheep
"Split Personalities" - by Jacqueline Hyde
"Spring" - by April N. May
"Star Spangled Barrio" - by Jose Canusee.
"Stop Arguing" - by Xavier Breath
"Sunday Service" - by Neil Downe
"Take This Job And Shove It" - by Ike Witt
"Talking about books is never a waste of space....IMHO." - Mycroft
"Ten Pins" - by Mr. Strike
"The Adventures of WIN.INI the Pooh" - by W. Gates
"The Arctic Ocean" - by I. C. Waters
"The Art of Secret Dating" - by Rhonda Voo
"The Art of Shoplifting" - by Phil Mypockets
"The Big Snitch" - by Ima Telling
"The Credit Card" - by Wright N. Bills
"The Diamond Robbery" - by Jules Argon
"The Gangsters" - by Robin Steele
"The Great Fabrication" - by Paul E. Ester
"The Human Brain" - by Sarah Bellum
"The Incompetent Bullfighter" - by Gordon Bloody
"The Japanese way of Death" - by Harri Kari
"The LA Lakers' Breakfast" - by Kareem O'Wheat
"The Monkey Cage" - by Jim Panzee
"The Pirate" - by Peg Legg
"The Scent Of A Man" - by Jim Nasium
"The Solar System" - by P. Lanets & Son
"There's a Bobcat Under the Outhouse!" - by Claude Balls
"Tiping the Outhouse" - by John Turner
"Tipping the Outhouse" - by John Turner
"Traveling Insects" - by Bugs Oliver Windshield
"Tropical Paradise" - by Kumon Iwannaghuqya
"Upstream" - by Sam N. Fishing
"What's another word for Thesaurus?" s.w.
"When I want to read a book, I write one."  --Benjamin Disraeli
"When is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?"- H.W. Beecher
"Whenever books are burned, men, also, are burned." -- Heine
"Wind Instruments" - by Clara Net
"Your book ate your homework, hmm? That's a new one." - Mrs. Wormwood
"Yours Forever" - by Tillie N. DeTeim
101 ways to play with yourself,  by Mr bater
250 Wongs listed in NYC Phone Book...Lottsa WONG Numbers!
50 Yards to the Outhouse - By Willie Makeit
50 Yards to the Outhouse - Distributed By Buddy Madeit
50 Yards to the Outhouse - Edited By Doris Locked
50 Yards to the Outhouse - Illustrated By Betty Wont
50 Yards to the Outhouse - Published By Andy Didnt
50 Yards to the Outhouse by Willie Makeit and Betty Dont
50 Yards to the Outhouse,      by Willie Makit,
50 years of progress: Warsaw to Waco 1943-1993
5000 Miles in the Saddle by Major Assburn
A Bestiary of Plant Eaters: Herb Avore*
A book a day keeps the doldrums at bay.
A book is a present you can open again and again.
A book is the only immortality.
A Book of Verses underneath the Bough.
A book worth banning is a book worth reading.
A book, a duck, a song, some wine....perfection!
A Boxing Cornerman's Story: Dawson DeTowel.
A classic is a book that is praised but not read.
A dirty book is seldom dusty.
A good book is the purest essence of a human soul.
A Great Plenty: by  E. Nuff
A house without books is like a room without windows.
A library serves no purpose unless someone is using it.
A lich, huh? No problem - I steal his spellbook.
A Magic Book that sticks with you: The VELCRONOMICON.
A Magick Book that sticks with you:  The VELCRONOMICON
A newspaper is to a book as a whore is to a lady.
a page short of a book
A real book is not one that is read, but one that reads us.
A room without books is like a body without a soul.
A signature short of a book.
A Stuntman To The End: Kenny Doitt*
A Trip to the Dentist: Yin Pain
A Whole Lot of Cats: Kitt N. Caboodle
A wicked book cannot repent.
A winner: Don't judge a book by its movie.
Accountant: A person who uses your books to figure his profit.
Acrophobia Explained: Alfredo Heights*
After The Corned Beef And Cabbage: Kay O'Pectate*
Ahhh, lets turn to the habble do gee handbook.
Ain't no law! It's voluntary! It says so in the 1040 book!
Allegiance To The King: Neil Downe*
Almost Missed the Bus:  by Justin Time
Ambulance Driving: Adam Muhway*
Amnesia: You've read the book now read the book.
And *any* book on Michelangelo's life.
And the Other People:   by Allan Sundry
And y'all don't ferget the book burnin' party at the church Satiddy.
Animal Illnesses:  by Ann Thrax
Animal Scents: Farrah Mones*
Another book 'how to make it big'. I got ripped off, it was about money.
Antlers in the Tree by Whogoosed The Moose
Anyway, what did the books know? Here was the real thing.
April Fool!:  by Sue Prize
Archery :  by  Beau N. Arrow
Arkansas: Bubble-gum cards are in the Great Books series.
Armed Heists: Robin Banks
Artificial Clothing: Polly Ester
Artificial Weightlessness: Andy Gravity
As Solid as...: Rocco Gibraltar(b)
As the good book says...
Assault with Battery:  by Eva Ready
Assimilate me...tender...--Elvis of Borg
At The Bottom Of The Can: Hazel Nutt*
Authored Computer Widow's Hand Book.
Authors do it by the book.
Baby In the Gas Tank:  by Who Pumped Ethel
Back Row Of The Orchestra: Clara Nett*
Bad Cow Jokes: Terry Bull(8)
Bad Gardeners: Wilt Plant
Banquet at McDonalds: Tommy Ayk*
Battle Axes: Tom A. Hawk(a)
BBS Lingo: ISBAB; I Should have Bought A Book
Be careful when reading health books ... you might die of a misprint.
Beekeeping:  by A. P. Arry
Been reading those Illuminati conspiracy books again, huh?
Best selling books: "Rusty Bedsprings", by I. P. Nightly.
Better Mental Health:  by Cy Kosis
Big Fart!:  by Hugh Jass
Blech, green eggs and Spam. Mom used the Dr. Suess cookbook again.
Blood In the Saddle by The Kotex Kid
Book lovers never go to bed alone.
Book never written: Dog training. by Wille Bite.
Book Never Written: Programming The Female Operating System.
Book: bWhat you see is what you think.
Bookies are rarely found inside the library.
Bookkeepers do it with double entry.
Bookowordies=Another word for Thesaurus
Books are better than TV; they exercise your imagination.
Books are better. No commercial interruptions.
Books are not men and yet they stay alive.
Books are our friends.
Books are patient. Page 17 will still be on p. 17 tomorrow, or next week.
Books are the portals to new worlds.
Books on claustrophobia? In that little room over there.
Books will speak plain when counsellors blanch. -- Bacon
Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.
Books: the alternative to television.
Books: They're what's for dinner.
Books?  Aren't those the things with words on 'em?
Books? I'd rather lend you my dog...he knows his way home!
Bookstores: the financial black hole of my wallet.
Bookworms only read about it.
BORE: Person who is an open book you don't want to read.
Boring Midwestern Cities: Cole Lumbus*
Boy Scout's Handbook:  by Casey Needzit
Brane Surjery Maid Simpel: Sarah Bellum*
BRAZEL: The scratch plate on a matchbook.
Breaking the Law:  by Kermit A. Krime
Bring to the Grocer's:  by R. List
Brown Spots on the Wal: by Who Flungdung.
Buy my new book: 1001 Ways to Wok Your Dog.
C:\> Police Not Found: Try Adult Bookstore [Y/N]?
Cab Calloway's Garden:  by Heidi Ho
Can't stand the heat? Stop burning the books!
Candle-Vaulting:  by Jack B. Nimble
Cannibal's recipe book: How to Serve Your Fellow Man.
Car Capital Of The World: Mitch Egan*
Car pooling - By Sharif d'Ride
Car Repairs: Axel Grease*
Care For A Chop?:  by Marsha Larts
Celebrate Freedom:  Read a 'banned' book!
Celebrate your freedom: Read a banned book.
CHEAPER THAN IBM: P.C. CLONE(l)
Cheating on His Wife:  by Izzy Backyet*
Check book: a book with a unhappy ending.
Chicago Gangs Of The '30's: Tommy Gunn*
Children's Songbook:  by Skip Tumalu*
Chinese cookbook... 1001 ways to wok your dog!
Chirpin' and Jumpin':  by  Katie Didd*
Choking on your spellbook? Apply the Heim the Lich maneuver.
Christmas for Baldies:  by Yule Brynner
Circle Perimiter: Sir Cumference(h)
CLASSIC GROCERIES: CHOPIN LISZT(l)
Classic: A book which people praise and don't read.
Cloning: Irma Dubble II
Clothes for Germ Kings:  by Mike Robes
College Athletics:  by Nancy Dubblelay
Colonel Powell, alittle overqualified to work here at the Book Depository!?
Columbus, Vespucci, And Me: Enzo DiUrth*
Come on in!:  by Doris Open
Computer Memories:  by  Meg Abight(7)
Condense soup, not books!
Confucius say, "Don't judge book by cover, but by how thick it is "
Constipation - By Sid Ondapott
Consult the Book of Armaments, Chapter 2, Verses 9 to 21.
Cookbook on preparing our K9 friends. Woking the Dog!
Cooking Spaghetti:  by  Al Dente
Cosmetology: Rosie Cheeks*
Covered Walkways:  by  R. Kade(6)
Crackdown: Lauren Order*
Creativity - Not referencing your sources.
Critters eating books, leaving behind crittercisms.
Crocodile Dundee:  by  Ali Gator
Cry Wolf:  by  Al Armist
Cures For Impotence - By Hugh G. Rection
Cut the Grass!: Moses Lawn(b)
Daddy are We There Yet?:  by  Miles Away
Daily Retention by Peter Knight.
Dan Quayle library burned! Both books destroyed!
DANGER! DANGER! Computer Book Store Ahead, Hide Wallet.
Danger!:  by  Luke Out
David Coperfield with one P?
Death and comic books----AKA oil and water.
DECORATING YOUR MOUSEHOLE: MINNIE BLINDS(l)
Defeat of a Lion Tamer by Claud Bottom.
Defeat of a Lion Tamer by Claude Bottom
Defunct Nations:  by  Sophie Etunion
Descriptions of Heaven - By Pearly Gates
Desert Crossing:  by I. Rhoda Camel
Did I read a different driving manual than everyone else?
Did you read it in one of your books?
Dieting Made Easy - By Ann O'Rexic
DIGITAL NOTEPAD: A notebook that needs batteries.
Dino-netics: The Science of Selling Books.
Disengaged... We turn the page...
DM ADVICE: The rule book you want is at the bottom of the stack.
Do not judge a book by its movie.
Does a medical book have an appendix?
Does Jimmy Swaggart read Repenthouse?
Don't Do Anything Rash: Jacques Itch*
Don't forget to close your eyes when reading a scary book.
Don't judge a book by it's movie...
Don't Tread On Me:  by  Amanda B. Reckonwith
Don't worry: The answer's at the back of the book.
Down the Flagpole - By Dick Burns
Downpour!:  by Wayne Dwops
Dr. Seuss is dead. He's dead I said.
Drafted!: Abel Boddeed*
DRAGON.OD not found. Write a new book? Y/n [_]?
Drummed to Death - By Dee Bugit
East Coast Resorts:                Nan Tuckett*
EAST COAST UNIVERSITIES: CORA NELL(l)
Eat any good books lately? --Q.
Eating Disorders: by Anna Rexia
Ecclesiastical Infractions: by Cardinal Sin
Employment Handbook: Ernie Living.
En Garde!: by Drew Blood
Enough Television - Go Read a Book.
Equine Leg Cramps: Charlie Horse
Er, how about 'A Sale of Two Titties'?
Errors and Accidents: Miss Takes and Miss Haps
ESTOY LlSTO: Santa Claus's notebook.
Ethel the Aardvark goes Quantity Surveying:
Every age hath its book.
Every burned book enlightens the world.
Ex-Presidential Retreat: by Kenny Bunkport
Exercise on Wheels: by Cy Kling
Exotic Irish Plants: by Phil O'Dendron
Explaining it Better: by Clara Fie
Exploring The Dutch Frontier: by Will Der Ness
EXTRA: Mindreader arrested for leaving bookmarks.
Fallen Underwear: by Lucy Lastic
Falling Trees: by Tim Burr
Famous Last Words: Let's go to the Bookstore. --JFK.
Fastest Gun In The West: by Everett DeReady
Fat Lady In The Sideshow: by Ellie Funt
FBI man to another: Have you booked any good reds lately?
Federal Law: 100,000 books explaining the 10 Commandments.
Feed Your Need To Read:
Feelings: by Cara Lott
Feelings: Cara Lott*
Fifty Yards to the Outhouse.       Willy Makit and Betty Won't
Fish Story: by Rod Enreel
Fistfights: by Donny Brooke
Fixing Computer Programs: by Dee Bugger
Flinky: Ink mark made when flipping thru a book with a pen.
FLIPS AND TUMBLES: by JIM NASTICS
Flogging in the Army.              Corporal Punishment
Flogging in the Army. by Corporal Punishment
Fondly dedicated to Book-Burner B*rry M*cha.
Foo Mail * Don't worry: The answer's at the back of the book.
Foot Problems of Big Lumberjacks: by Paul Bunion
For the best vacations money can buy - Read Books!
For Used Book Saviors?... nah.
Fortune Telling: by Crystal Ball
Fred Can Philosophize!: by Immanuel Kant
French Cars: Myra Neault(k)
French Overpopulation: by Francis Crowded
Friends: People who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.
FUBS. We're looking for a few good bookworms.
FUBS: A book in the mail is a WONDERFUL way to change :( to :).
Full Moon: by Seymour Buns
Full Moon: Seymour Buns
Fundamentalist libraries only need shelf space for ONE book.
Gambling: by Monty Carlos
Gardening With The Ex-President: by Rose Bush
Geez, It's Hot!: Mike Hammeldyed(j)
Get gun. Shoot computer. Find corner chair. Read book.
Get Moving!: by Sheik Aleg
Get Out There!: Sally Forth
Getting books in the mail makes my day a little brighter.
Girl On a Budget: by Penny Pincher
Go Away!: by Ron Onhome
Go Away!: Ron Onhome*
Go to a bookstore and ask for the self-help section.
Golly Gosh!: by G. Whiz
Gone Fishing: by Rod Annette
Gone With The Wind: by George Uh
Good Housekeeping: by Lottie Dust
Good one, Worf! Ate any good books lately? --Q.
Good Steak!: by T. Bone
Good things come to those who wait: Windows User Handbook.
Good Works: by Ben Evolent
Gotta go read.  My books are calling me.
Grave Mistakes: by Paul Bearer
Great Tennis Matches: by Davis Skupp
Green Lawn Chairs: by Patty O'Furniture
Greeting Sheep Strangers: by Hugh R. Ewe
GUARDING THE DOOR: by SERGEANT ATARMS
Guide To Mixology: by Bart Ender
Gunslingers with Gas: by Wyatt Urp
Handel's Messiah: by Ollie Luyah
Happy New Year!: by Mary Christmas
Harvesting Wild Plants: by Dudley Nightshade
Have you ever seen a book mark?
He Disappeared!:                   Otto Sight
He has more angles than a geometry book.
He has more chins than a Chinese phonebook!
He who dies with the most books...is still dead.
He who reads is never alone.
He's Contagious!: Lucas Measles
Head of Security: Barb Dwyer(9)
Held Hostage by Italian Terrorists!: Aldo Anything*
Herbalist: Female 'Little Black Book.'
Here's Pus In Your Eye: Lance Boyle*
Here's some more stuff from that 50 year old book I've got...
Here's your spellbook back. Now prepare to die.
Hertz, Don't It?: Lisa Carr*
Hey, Worf! Eat any good books lately?
Highway Travel:                    Dusty Rhodes
His cousin booking fare cuts, he's got Billy Clinton's eyes!
History books get it right on the second edit.
History books which contain no lies are extremely dull.
Hiya Fella: Gladys Eeya*
Hole In the Bed by Mr. Completely
Hole in the Mattress, by Mr. Completely
Hollywood Gossip:                  Phyllis Zinn*
Holmes Does It Again: Scott Linyard*
Home Alone III, The Sequel: Annie Buddyhome*
Honest officer, it was justifiable. SHE SOLD MY BOOKS!
Hot Dog!: Frank Furter
Hot tips don't come with reference books attached.
House Construction: Bill Jerome Holme(6)
Housework,                     by Dustin Cook
How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries? She has a checkbook.
How I Won The Marathon: Randy Hoelway*
How to Annoy: Aunt Agonize
How To Beat A Murder Rap: Scott Free*
How to Break In: Jimmy De Lock*
How to Cook a Steak,           by Porter House
How to Cut Grass,              by Lon Moore
How to Draw,                   by Ellis Strait
How To Make Cornmeal Pancakes: Johnny Cake*
How to Overcome Stress: R.E. Lachs(k)
How to Party American Style,    by Al Cohol
How to Read a Book,            by Paige Turner
How to Succeed in School,      by Rita Book
How to Tour the Prison:            Robin Steele
How To Tune Up Your Auto: Carl Humm*
How_To_Serve_Man_ ... a recipe book from the Twilight Zone.
Humor section? In a feminist bookstore? Only a man...
Hunger In America: Heywood Jafeedme*
Hypnotism:                         N. Tranced
I Beat Bobby Fischer: Jess Player*
I bought a book. Now I just have to learn how to read.
I can't be home, I'm not done with my book! --Mistopheles.
I Didn't Do It!: Ivan Alibi
I don't know how big this thing gets:
I feel the Need... The need to READ!
I go up to the lich and steal his spellbook.
I got lots of free books. They say Public Library on the cover.
I guess so...it's been a LONG time since I read that book.
I guess you CAN'T judge a cover by its book!.....
I Hate Fighting: Boris Hell
I Hate Monday Mornings: Gaetan Oop
I Hate the Sun: Gladys Knight
I have read your book and much like it.
I Hit the Wall:                    Isadore There
I just finished my first book; now I'm going to read another one!
I just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and I can't put it down!
I Like Fish: Ann Chovie
I Like Liquor: Ethyl Alcohol
I like reading books, but I LOVE reading Tarot!
I Like Weeding Gardens: Manuel Labour
I Lived in Detroit: Helen Earth
I Lost My Balance: Eileen Dover and Phil Down
I Love Bullfighting: Matt Adore*
I Love Crowds: Morris Merrier
I Love Fractions: Lois C. Denominator
I love getting books in the mail.
I Love Mathematics:                Adam Up
I Love Wills: Benny Fishery
I Love You!: Alma Hart
I multi-task... I read in the bathroom.
I Must Fix the Car!: Otto Doit
I Need Insurance: Justin Case
I need more time for books
I never knew a girl who was ruined by a good book.
I never punched a guy in the brain before! --1963 (comic book).
I read banned books and messages.
I read banned books!
I Read You Like A Book: Claire Voyant.
I rush the lich and steal his spell book.
I Say So!: Frank O. Pinion(2)
I try to leave out the parts that people skip. -Elmore Leonard
I used to read books, now I read .QWK packets.
I used to read books.  Now I read *.DOC
I used to read books. Now I read Taglines!
I used to read books...before offline readers came along...
I Was a Cloakroom Attendant: Mahatma Coate(1)
I Was A Son Of A Buccaneer: Rich Kidd*
I was in a speed reading accident: I hit a bookmark......
I will share with you any tagline that has BOOK in it, stand back,
I Win!: U. Lose
I Work with Diamonds:              Jules Sparkle
I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
I wrote several children's books -- not on purpose.
I Wuz Robbed!: Alma Money*
I'll note you in my book of memories.
I'M AN ATHEIST: NOEL NOHEAVEN
I'm Scared!: Emma Fraid*
I'm Someone Else: Ima Nonymous
I'm waiting for the notebook to come out in paperback.
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
I'm writing a telephone book. May I have your number?
I've always wanted to read,... <thoughtful pause> ... a book.
I've given up reading books. It takes my mind off myself.
I've got a little black book with my poems in.
I've read all the books about heroes and crooks...
I've read almost all the books about heroes and crooks.
I've read SEVEN MILLION books!
I've seen the book.
I've written several children's books, not on purpose.
If a large book kills time..some prefer War and Peace.
If at first you don't succeed.. read the book!
If I Invited Him...: Woody Kum(3)
If it's going in, it's going on!
If we were to go by the book, hours would seem like days.
If you brag about the fact that you haven't read a book since high school.
If you don't read books, you are no better off then someone who can't.
If you own three tv's and only two books.
If your idea of 'The Classics' is a set of Readers Digest condensed books.
Illiterate?  Write for our free "HOW TO READ" booklet!
In Farmer MacGregor's Garden: Peter Abbott*
In Heidi's book? There must be another guy with my name.
In my book you're a great guy. But then it's a work of fiction.
In my book, food should be nutrition and entertainment." * Calvin
In Nature's infinite book of secrecy a little I can read.
In the Arctic Ocean: Isa Berg
Indian/Italian Cuisine: Ravi Oley*
Inflammation, Please!: Arthur Itis*
Interior Decorating: Curt Enrod*
Irish Dentistry: Perry O'Dontal*
Irish First Aid: R.U. O'Kaye(k)
Irish Flooring: Lynn O'Leum
Irony: Andrea Dworkin's book was banned as pornographic.
Is that a SK book in your pocket... or are you really happy to see me?
Isa.34:16 Seek ye out of the book of the LORD and read...
ISBAB: I should have bought a book.
It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.
It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better.
It Won't Work!: Mel Function*
It's a *very* small town if the phone book has a single yellow page.
It's a cookbook! `To Serve Man' is a COOK BOOK!
It's a Holdup!: Nick R. Elastic
It's a Shocker:                    Alec Tricity
It's a small town if the phone book has a single yellow p
It's a small town if the phone book has a single yellow page.
It's a small town if the phone book has a yellow page.
It's All In Your Head: Madge Ination*
It's Commander Book. He's read, Jim.
IT'S IN THE BOOK!"
It's Magic!: Sven Gali
It's not nice, it's Job. There's nothing very nice in the book of Job.
It's Springtime!: Theresa Green*
It's Unfair!: Y. Me
Italian Delicacies: Liz Onya*
Jewish Holidays: Hannah Kuhh*
JEWISH MYSTICISM: LEV ITATION(l)
Join the Book Club!
Joys of Cowardice: Lily Livard*
Judging Fast Food: Warren Berger(3)
Just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and can't put it down.
Just repeat to yourself, It's just a book I should really just relax!
Kangaroo Illnesses: Marcus Wallaby, M.D.
Keep it Clean!: Armand Hammer
Keep Out!: Barb Dwyer*
Keep the Books. Burn the Censors!
Keeping Old Furniture Looking Good,   by Ann Teak
Kindergarten Kop II: Bea Hayve*
Korean Cookbook: 1001 ways to Wok your Dog.
Laid Off!: Gwen Home*
Lawn Care: Ray King*
Lawyers of Suffering: Grin and Barrett
Lean books are often larded with the fat of others' works.
Leo Tolstoy: Warren Peace
Let me read my twelve book epic: My favorite bath time gurgles.
Let me see what a search comes up with:
Let's Do it Now!: Igor Beaver
Let's see...how can I make this a tagline-oriented message?
Liberal Handbook Rule 2: Anyone who disagrees with you is a Nazi.
Library of Congress: Pork Barrel Cookbook (7th printing).
Life As A Comic: Stan Dupp*
Life Before Cars: Orson Buggy*
Life Before The Civil War: Aunty Bellum*
Life in Chicago: Wendy City
Life In The Sorority House: Carrie Onn*
Life Six Feet Under: Doug Graves*
Life's Little Destruction Book #603. Quote Rush Limbaugh to feminists.
Little Bitty Froggies: Tad Pole*
Lo and Behold! Your name is the first in Heidi's Book!
Long Walk: Miss D. Bus(j)
LONG WAY DOWN: RIP CORD BROKE(l)
Lorena Bobbitts new Book: 50 ways to CLEAVE your lover.
Los Angeles Pachyderms: L.A. Funt
Lots of Excitement: Hugh N. Cry
Low and Behold! Your name is the first in Heidi's Book!
Making a book is as much a craft as making a clock.
Making love Twenty Times a Day,  by Dick Kurtz
Malcolm X - skip the movie, read the book
Manana: Stew Layt*
Many pages does a thick book make.
Many pages make a thick book. To bad yours are blank!
Mardi Gras Time: Lou Isiana*
Maritime Disasters: Andrea Doria
May Flowers:                       April Showers
Meals On Safari: Lionel Eecha*
Measles Collision!:                Kay Rash
Mensa Man:                         Gene Yuss
Mexican Revenge:                   Monty Zuma
Mexican/Italian Food:              Pepe Roney*
Michael's new book: The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing.
Migratory lifeform with a tropism for bookstores.
Military Defeats: Major Disaster and General Mayhem
MILITARY FAST: COLONEL O'CORN(l)
Military Rule: Marshall Law
Mineralogy for Giants:             Chris Tall
Mobile Homes: Winnie Bago(b)
Modern Tree Watches: Anna Log
Monkey Shines: Bob Boone
More for Your Money: Max Amize(3)
More than just a book-it's a major piece of torture.
Mosquito Bites: Ivan Itch
Mountain Climbing: Andover Hand
Music of the Sea:                  Lawrence Whelk
Musical Gunfighters: The Okay Chorale
My book has a Communist plot.
My Career As A Clown: Abe Ozo*
My favorite novel? The Yellow Pages!
My Life as a College Student, by I. R. Smart
My Life as a Rapist,           by Comoniwanalaya
My Life in the Gutter:             Yves Trough
My Life on Skid Row: Titus A. Drum*
My Life With Annette: Amos Kateer*
My Lost Causes:                    Noah Veil
My Seventh Husband: Ivana Newhouse*
My TSR manager said to buy more D&D books.
Mystery in the Barnyard: Hu Flung Dung
Neat Shirts: Preston Ironed
NECROCOMEDION: The Book of Dead Jokes.
Neither a Borrower: Nora Lender Bee
Never judge a book by its movie.
Never open a book before 4 p.m. Sunday. (Rule of Weekend Studying)
Never read any book that is not a year old. --Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Never saw an self-illuminated book before. Interesting.
New Asian Cookbook: 101 Ways to Wok Your Dog!
New book by Saddem Hussein: Sand to Glass in 5 seconds.
New Book:  _How to write a How To book_
New Book: "Secrets of the KKK" by Dewey, Lynch & Howe.
New book: 101 Ways to Brown-Nose to Success.
New Book: A FISH STORY by Czar Dean.
New Book: Animations Techniques Used in Making Beavis and Butthead.
New Book: BAD MONEY by Count R. Fitz.
New Book: BAND PLAYING by Clara Nett.
New Book: CALM DOWN by Ed. G. Nerfs.
New Book: CAUGHT IN THE FLOOD by Noah Zark.
New Book: Clint Howard: My Career Without My Brother Ron.
New Book: CUDDLY TOYS by Ted E. Behr.
New book: Do's and Don'ts for a Harmonious Honeymoon.
New Book: Dog Training by Willie Bite.
New Book: HANDLING YOUR EMOTIONS by Mel. N. Collie.
New Book: How to hike the longest Trail by Carrie Mee.
New Book: HOW TO MAKE A TOURNIQUET by Hank R. Schiff.
New Book: How to tell you friends from apes.
New Book: How to write a How To book.
New Book: ITALIAN FOOD by Liz Anya, Manny Kotty, Minnie Stroni and Lynn Guin
New Book: JAZZ MUSIC by Tenna Saxe.
New Book: Jimmy Carter, Servant of the Jesuit-Zionist Conspiracy.
New Book: KNOCKING YOUR FUNNY BONE by Lord Howard Hertz.
New Book: LaToya Jackson: My Career Without Michael and Janet.
New Book: LITTLE FISHES by Anne Chovey.
New Book: My exciting life by Frank Lee Boring.
New Book: MY LIFE IN CRIME by Upton O. Goode.
New Book: Neil Young's Grooming Tips.
New Book: Pitcairn Island Telephone Book (incl. Yellow Page).
New Book: Poison in Every Pot.
New Book: Polar Exploration by U.R. Cole and I.M Freezin.
New Book: Roger Clinton: My Career Without My Brother Bill.
New Book: Science: Satan's Plot Against God and Man.
New Book: SCULPTING THE GODS OF GREECE AND ROME by Jove.
New Book: Sound Sleeping in 60 Seconds by Eliza Wake.
New Book: STOMACH CRAMPS by Henrietta Greenapple.
New Book: The Complete Chevy Chase Show.
New Book: THE GANGSTERS by Robin Steele.
New Book: The Golden Voice of Roger Clinton.
New Book: The Occult Technology of Money and the Moneylords.
New Book: THE STARS TELL IT ALL by Horace Cope.
New Book: THE TIN CAN COOKBOOK by Billie Gote.
New Book: The Yellow River by I. P. Freely.
New Book: TIME TO EAT! by Dean R. Bell.
New Book: Tom Arnold: My Career Without Roseanne.
New Book: UNIX Programmers Who Wear Ties.
New Book: WATERWAYS OF THE WORLD by Sue S. Canal.
New Book: Yoko Ono: My Career Without John Lennon.
New Book: YOU ALWAYS GET CAUGHT by Sue Nora Later.
New Book: _How to write a How To book_.
New Mexico Tour Book: Albie Kerky.
New use for old computers: Book Ends
NHL Hockey: Stanley Kupp*
Nice Hotels: Mary Ott(i)
Night spread across the Disk like plum jam.  <Sourcery>
Nine-tenths of all existing books are nonsense. --Disraeli.
No books are lost by lending, except those you wanted to keep.
No matter which book you need, it's on the bottom shelf.
No More Circuit Breakers!: Ira Fuse
No, Dear. We sleep in the Garage with the Cars. The BOOKS stay here.
Nobel Prize Cannibals: Laurie Ate*
Noise is Forbidden!: Nada Loud
Nordic Groundskeepers:             Leif Raker*
Not a Guitar!: Amanda Lin(e)
Now come on, you can tell me.. you're in Heidi's book huh?
Now let me show you something that isn't in the dressage book.
Now why didn't you tell us that you wore a pocketbook?
Now why was your name in Heidi's little black book?
Nuclear Power Bafflement: Ken Fusion*
Nuts about You!: Cy Cosis
Off To Market: Tobias A. Pigg
Oh What A Relief It Is: Al Kaseltzer*
Oh! Gotta GO! 2yr old has my 386 notebook!
Oh, so very clever! Eat any good books lately?
Oh, very clever Worf. Eat any good books lately? -- Q.
Oh, very good, Worf. Eat any good books lately?
Okay everybody, put away your books, time for a POP QUIZ!!
Old is when all the phone numbers in your black book are doctors.
Older, Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
One Hundred Years Old: Abbie Birthday*
Only Cats, Music, Books, and Computers justify the human race.
Options Trading: June Gold*
Outdoor Activities:                Alf Resco(6)
Outdoor Cookery: Barbie Cue*
Overcoming Nervousness On Radio: Mike Fright*
Overweight Vegetables: O. Beets
Pain in My Body: Otis Leghurts
Pain Relief: Ann L. Gesick(6)
Parachuting: Hugo First
Party On, Dude: Jill Out*
Pee Wee's Book:How to make it big in the movies.
Peewee's favorite book: 'Sexual positions for one' by Ivan Jackinoff
PENTAGON PRESS RELEASE: COLONEL O'TRUTH AND LOTTA LIES(l)
Perhaps you have learn'd it without book.
Personal Best: Marco DeStinction*
Perverted Mushrooms: M. Morel
Pilgrim Settlers: May Flower*
Plumb Good: Dwayne Pipe*
Pocketbook wearing Jester: See Richard Hsiung...
Poetry in Baseball: Homer
Positive Reinforcement: Wade Ago*
Prayers For Children:              Cindy Skool*
Pre-coding checklist; Pencil\paper [X] Ref. books [X] Snickers bar [X].
Preaching to Hell's Angels:        Pastor Redlight(1)
Prepare To Meet Your Maker: Eva DeStruction*
Preparing Leather: Tanya Hyde*
Pretty women are fun to be with, but good books are a READ!
Prevent Drowning:                  Buddy System*
Prison = Clothes, Food, Bed, TV, Books, Recreation = Comfort.
PRODIGY - the World's Largest Online Coloring Book!
Producing a book is like typing a lot.
Professor/Teacher: A textbook wired for sound.
Professor: a textbook wired for liberalism.
Professor: A textbook wired for sound.
Professors DO IT by the book.
Proverbs: You can't judge a book by its cover.
Pull with All You've Got!: Eve Ho
Pull Yourself Together!: Annette Curtain(f)
Pulpit: A paperback book rack.
Pulpitt: A paperback book rack.
Punk Rock Rulez!: Lotta Noyze*
PUNNY BOOK = A Bestiary of Plant Eaters: Herb Avore.
PUNNY BOOK = A Boxing Cornerman's Story: Dawson DeTowel.
PUNNY BOOK = A Great Plenty: E. Nuff.
PUNNY BOOK = A Stuntman To The End: Kenny Doitt.
PUNNY BOOK = A Whole Lot of Cats: Kitt N. Caboodle.
PUNNY BOOK = Acrophobia Explained: Alfredo Heights.
PUNNY BOOK = After The Corned Beef And Cabbage: Kay O'Pectate.
PUNNY BOOK = Ah, Thor!: Ty Till.
PUNNY BOOK = All Alone: Saul E. Terry.
PUNNY BOOK = Allegiance To The King: Neil Downe.
PUNNY BOOK = Ambulance Driving: Adam Muhway.
PUNNY BOOK = And Shut Up!: Sid Downe.
PUNNY BOOK = Animal Illnesses: Ann Thrax.
PUNNY BOOK = Animal Scents: Farrah Mones.
PUNNY BOOK = April Fool!: Sue Prize.
PUNNY BOOK = Archery: Beau N. Arrow.
PUNNY BOOK = Armed Heists: Robin Banks.
PUNNY BOOK = Artificial Weightlessness: Andy Gravity.
PUNNY BOOK = As Solid as...: Rocco Gibraltar.
PUNNY BOOK = At The Bottom Of The Can: Hazel Nutt.
PUNNY BOOK = Back Row Of The Orchestra: Clara Nett.
PUNNY BOOK = Bad Cow Jokes: Terry Bull.
PUNNY BOOK = Bad Gardeners: Wilt Plant
PUNNY BOOK = Battle Axes: Tom A. Hawk.
PUNNY BOOK = Beekeeping: A. V. Arry.
PUNNY BOOK = Big Fart!: Hugh Jass.
PUNNY BOOK = Blowout!: Vlad Tire.
PUNNY BOOK = Boring Midwestern Cities: Cole Lumbus.
PUNNY BOOK = Boy Scout's Handbook: Casey Needzit.
PUNNY BOOK = Brane Surjery Maid Simpel: Sarah Bellum.
PUNNY BOOK = Breaking the Law: Kermit A. Krime.
PUNNY BOOK = Candle-Vaulting: Jack B. Nimble.
PUNNY BOOK = Car Capital Of The World: Mitch Egan.
PUNNY BOOK = Car Repairs: Axel Grease.
PUNNY BOOK = Care For A Chop?: Marsha Larts.
PUNNY BOOK = Cheating on His Wife: Izzy Backyet.
PUNNY BOOK = Chicago Gangs Of The '30's: Tommy Gunn.
PUNNY BOOK = Christmas for Baldies: Yule Brynner.
PUNNY BOOK = Cloning: Ima Dubble.
PUNNY BOOK = College Athletics: Nancy Dubblelay.
PUNNY BOOK = Columbus, Vespucci, And Me: Enzo DiUrth.
PUNNY BOOK = Come on in!: Doris Open.
PUNNY BOOK = Computer Memories: Meg Abight.
PUNNY BOOK = Confessions Of A Gold Digger: Emile Ticket.
PUNNY BOOK = Cooking Spaghetti: Al Dente.
PUNNY BOOK = Cosmetology: Rosie Cheeks.
PUNNY BOOK = Covered Walkways: R. Kade.
PUNNY BOOK = Crackdown: Lauren Order.
PUNNY BOOK = Crocodile Dundee: Ali Gator.
PUNNY BOOK = Cry Wolf: Al Armist.
PUNNY BOOK = Cut the Grass!: Moses Lawn.
PUNNY BOOK = Daddy are We There Yet?: Miles Away.
PUNNY BOOK = Danger!: Luke Out.
PUNNY BOOK = Defunct Nations: Sophie Etunion.
PUNNY BOOK = Desert Crossing: I. Rhoda Camel.
PUNNY BOOK = Do It Yourself: Tyrone Shoelaces.
PUNNY BOOK = Don't Do Anything Rash: Jacques Itch.
PUNNY BOOK = Don't Tread On Me: Amanda B. Reckonwith.
PUNNY BOOK = Downpour!: Wayne Dwops.
PUNNY BOOK = Drafted!: Abel Boddeed.
PUNNY BOOK = Dull Razor: Nick Shaving.
PUNNY BOOK = East Coast Resorts: Nan Tuckett.
PUNNY BOOK = Eating Disorders: Anna Rexia.
PUNNY BOOK = Ecclesiastical Infractions: Cardinal Sin.
PUNNY BOOK = En Garde!: Drew Blood.
PUNNY BOOK = Equine Leg Cramps: Charlie Horse.
PUNNY BOOK = Errors and Accidents: Miss Takes and Miss Haps.
PUNNY BOOK = Events In The Soviet Union: Perry Stroika.
PUNNY BOOK = Ex-Presidential Retreat: Kenny Bunkport.
PUNNY BOOK = Exercise on Wheels: Cy Kling.
PUNNY BOOK = Exotic Irish Plants: Phil O'Dendron.
PUNNY BOOK = Exploring The Dutch Frontier: Will Der Ness.
PUNNY BOOK = Fallen Underwear: Lucy Lastic.
PUNNY BOOK = Falling Trees: Tim Burr.
PUNNY BOOK = Fastest Gun In The West: Everett DeReady.
PUNNY BOOK = Fat Lady In The Sideshow: Ellie Funt.
PUNNY BOOK = Feelings: Cara Lott.
PUNNY BOOK = Fifty Yards to the Outhouse: Willy Makit and Betty Woant.
PUNNY BOOK = Fingerplay: Jacob Sladder.
PUNNY BOOK = Fish Story: Rod Enreel.
PUNNY BOOK = Fistfights: Donny Brooke.
PUNNY BOOK = Fixing Computer Programs: Dee Bugger.
PUNNY BOOK = Flogging in the Army: Corporal Punishment.
PUNNY BOOK = Foot Coverings: Susan Socks.
PUNNY BOOK = Foot Problems of Big Lumberjacks: Paul Bunion.
PUNNY BOOK = Fortune Telling: Crystal Ball.
PUNNY BOOK = Fred Can Philosophize!: Immanuel Kant.
PUNNY BOOK = French Overpopulation: Francis Crowded.
PUNNY BOOK = Full Moon: Seymour Buns
PUNNY BOOK = Gambling: Monty Carlos.
PUNNY BOOK = Gangway!: Hedda Steam.
PUNNY BOOK = Gardening With The Ex-President: Rose Bush.
PUNNY BOOK = Get Moving!: Sheik Aleg.
PUNNY BOOK = Get Out There!: Sally Forth.
PUNNY BOOK = Go Away!: Ron Onhome.
PUNNY BOOK = Golly Gosh!: G. Whiz.
PUNNY BOOK = Gone Fishing: Rod Annette.
PUNNY BOOK = Gone With The Wind: George Uh.
PUNNY BOOK = Good Housekeeping: Lottie Dust
PUNNY BOOK = Good Steak!: T. Bone.
PUNNY BOOK = Good Works: Ben Evolent.
PUNNY BOOK = Grave Mistakes: Paul Bearer.
PUNNY BOOK = Green Lawn Chairs: Patty O'Furniture.
PUNNY BOOK = Greeting Sheep Strangers: Hugh R. Ewe.
PUNNY BOOK = Guide To Mixology: Bart Ender.
PUNNY BOOK = Handel's Messiah: Ollie Luyah.
PUNNY BOOK = Happy New Year!: Mary Christmas
PUNNY BOOK = Harvesting Wild Plants: Dudley Nightshade.
PUNNY BOOK = He Disappeared!: Otto Sight.
PUNNY BOOK = He's Contagious!: Lucas Measles.
PUNNY BOOK = Head of Security: Barb Dwyer.
PUNNY BOOK = Held Hostage by Italian Terrorists!: Aldo Anything.
PUNNY BOOK = Here's Pus In Your Eye: Lance Boyle.
PUNNY BOOK = Hertz, Don't It?: Lisa Carr.
PUNNY BOOK = Highway Travel: Dusty Rhodes.
PUNNY BOOK = Hiya Fella: Gladys Eeya.
PUNNY BOOK = Hollywood Gossip: Phyllis Zinn.
PUNNY BOOK = Holmes Does It Again: Scott Linyard.
PUNNY BOOK = Home Alone III, The Sequel: Eddie Buddyhome.
PUNNY BOOK = Hot Dog!: Frank Furter.
PUNNY BOOK = House Construction: Bill Jerome Holme.
PUNNY BOOK = House Plants: Clay Potts.
PUNNY BOOK = How I Won The Marathon: Randy Hoelway.
PUNNY BOOK = How to Annoy: Aunt Agonize.
PUNNY BOOK = How To Beat A Murder Rap: Scott Free.
PUNNY BOOK = How to Break In: Jimmy De Lock.
PUNNY BOOK = How To Make Cornmeal Pancakes: Johnny Cake.
PUNNY BOOK = How to Tour the Prison: Robin Steele
PUNNY BOOK = How To Tune Up Your Auto: Carl Humm.
PUNNY BOOK = Hunger In America: Heywood Jafeedme
PUNNY BOOK = Hypnotism: N. Tranced.
PUNNY BOOK = I Beat Bobby Fischer: Jess Player.
PUNNY BOOK = I Can Fix It: Jerry Rigg.
PUNNY BOOK = I Can't See The Difference: Sam Ting.
PUNNY BOOK = I Didn't Do It!: Ivan Alibi.
PUNNY BOOK = I Hate Fighting: Boris Hell.
PUNNY BOOK = I Hate Monday Mornings: Gaetan Oop.
PUNNY BOOK = I Hate the Sun: Gladys Knight.
PUNNY BOOK = I Hit the Wall: Isadore There
PUNNY BOOK = I Like Fish: Ann Chovie.
PUNNY BOOK = I Like Liquor: Ethyl Alcohol
PUNNY BOOK = I Like Weeding Gardens: Manuel Labour.
PUNNY BOOK = I Lived in Detroit: Helen Earth
PUNNY BOOK = I Lost My Balance: Eileen Dover and Paul Down
PUNNY BOOK = I Love Crowds: Morris Merrier.
PUNNY BOOK = I Love Fractions: Lois C. Denominator
PUNNY BOOK = I Love Mathematics: Adam Up.
PUNNY BOOK = I Love Wills: Benny Fishery.
PUNNY BOOK = I Love You!: Alma Hart.
PUNNY BOOK = I Need Insurance: Justin Case.
PUNNY BOOK = I Read You Like A Book: Claire Voyant.
PUNNY BOOK = I Say So!: Frank O. Pinion.
PUNNY BOOK = I Want to Help: Abel N. Willin.
PUNNY BOOK = I Was a Cloakroom Attendant: Mahatma Coate.
PUNNY BOOK = I Was A Son Of A Buccaneer: Rich Kidd.
PUNNY BOOK = I Win!: U. Lose.
PUNNY BOOK = I Work with Diamonds: Jules Sparkle.
PUNNY BOOK = I Wuz Framed!: Gil Tee.
PUNNY BOOK = I Wuz Robbed!: Alma Money.
PUNNY BOOK = I'm Fine: Howard Yu.
PUNNY BOOK = I'm Scared!: Emma Fraid.
PUNNY BOOK = I'm Someone Else: Ima Nonymous
PUNNY BOOK = In The Trenches: Helmut Wearer.
PUNNY BOOK = Indiana Jones' Adventures: Darrin Rescue.
PUNNY BOOK = Inflammation, Please!: Arthur Itis.
PUNNY BOOK = Irish Dentistry: Perry O'Dontal.
PUNNY BOOK = Irish Flooring: Lynn O'Leum
PUNNY BOOK = It Won't Work!: Mel Function.
PUNNY BOOK = It's a Holdup!: Nick R. Elastic
PUNNY BOOK = It's a Shocker: Alec Tricity.
PUNNY BOOK = It's All In Your Head: Madge Ination.
PUNNY BOOK = It's Magic!: Sven Gali.
PUNNY BOOK = It's Springtime!: Theresa Green.
PUNNY BOOK = It's Unfair!: Y. Me.
PUNNY BOOK = Italian Delicacies: Liz Onya.
PUNNY BOOK = Jewish Holidays: Hannah Kuhh.
PUNNY BOOK = Joys of Cowardice: Lily Livard.
PUNNY BOOK = Judging Fast Food: Warren Berger.
PUNNY BOOK = Just Say No: Will Power.
PUNNY BOOK = Kangaroo Illnesses: Marcus Wallaby, M.D.
PUNNY BOOK = Keep it Clean!: Armand Hammer.
PUNNY BOOK = Keep Out!: Barb Dwyer.
PUNNY BOOK = Laid Off!: Gwen Home.
PUNNY BOOK = Lawn Care: Ray King.
PUNNY BOOK = Lawyers of Suffering: Grin and Barrett.
PUNNY BOOK = Leo Tolstoy: Warren Peace.
PUNNY BOOK = Let's Do it Now!: Igor Beaver.
PUNNY BOOK = Lewis Carroll: Alison Wonderland.
PUNNY BOOK = Life As A Comic: Stan Dupp.
PUNNY BOOK = Life Before Cars: Orson Buggy.
PUNNY BOOK = Life Before The Civil War: Aunty Bellum.
PUNNY BOOK = Life in Chicago: Wendy City.
PUNNY BOOK = Life In The Sorority House: Carrie Onn.
PUNNY BOOK = Look Younger: Fay Slift.
PUNNY BOOK = Lots of Excitement: Hugh N. Cry.
PUNNY BOOK = Lotsa Luck: Bess Twishes.
PUNNY BOOK = Love Wills: Benny Fishery
PUNNY BOOK = Manana: Stew Layt.
PUNNY BOOK = Many Are Cold, But Few Are Frozen: Minnie Sota.
PUNNY BOOK = Mardi Gras Time: Lou Isiana.
PUNNY BOOK = Maritime Disasters: Andrea Doria.
PUNNY BOOK = Masterpieces Of Fox TV: Annette Work.
PUNNY BOOK = May Flowers: April Showers.
PUNNY BOOK = Meals On Safari: Lionel Eecha.
PUNNY BOOK = Measles Collision!: Kay Rash.
PUNNY BOOK = Meat Eaters: Carney Vore.
PUNNY BOOK = Mensa Man: Gene Yuss.
PUNNY BOOK = Mexican Revenge: Monty Zuma.
PUNNY BOOK = Military Defeats: Major Disaster and General Mayhem.
PUNNY BOOK = Military Rule: Marshall Law.
PUNNY BOOK = Misunderstood: Art Tistic.
PUNNY BOOK = Mobile Homes: Winnie Bago.
PUNNY BOOK = Monkey Shines: Bob Boone.
PUNNY BOOK = Mosquito Bites: Ivan Itch.
PUNNY BOOK = Mountain Climbing: Andover Hand.
PUNNY BOOK = Music of the Sea: Lawrence Whelk.
PUNNY BOOK = Musical Gunfighters: The Okay Chorale.
PUNNY BOOK = My Life on Skid Row: Titus A. Drum.
PUNNY BOOK = My Lost Causes: Noah Veil.
PUNNY BOOK = My Seventh Husband: Ivana Newhouse.
PUNNY BOOK = Mystery in the Barnyard: Hu Flung Dung
PUNNY BOOK = Neither a Borrower: Nora Lender Bee.
PUNNY BOOK = NHL Hockey: Stanley Kupp.
PUNNY BOOK = No More Circuit Breakers!: Ira Fuse.
PUNNY BOOK = No: Kurt Reply
PUNNY BOOK = Not Bogged Down In Reality: Jason Rainbows.
PUNNY BOOK = Not So Hot: Luke Warm.
PUNNY BOOK = Nuclear Power Bafflement: Ken Fusion.
PUNNY BOOK = Nuts about You!: Cy Cosis.
PUNNY BOOK = Off To Market: Tobias A. Pigg.
PUNNY BOOK = Oh What A Relief It Is: Al Kaseltzer.
PUNNY BOOK = Okee Dokee: Roger Wilco.
PUNNY BOOK = One Hundred Years Old: Abbie Birthday.
PUNNY BOOK = Options Trading: June Gold.
PUNNY BOOK = Outdoor Activities: Alf Resco.
PUNNY BOOK = Outdoor Cookery: Barbie Cue.
PUNNY BOOK = Overcoming Nervousness On Radio: Mike Fright.
PUNNY BOOK = Pain in My Body: Otis Leghurts.
PUNNY BOOK = Pain Relief: Ann L. Gesick.
PUNNY BOOK = Parachuting: Hugo First.
PUNNY BOOK = Party On, Dude: Jill Out.
PUNNY BOOK = Peeping Tom: Sawyer Scanties.
PUNNY BOOK = Personal Best: Marco DeStinction.
PUNNY BOOK = Pilgrim Settlers: May Flower.
PUNNY BOOK = Plumb Good: Dwayne Pipe.
PUNNY BOOK = Poetry in Baseball: Homer.
PUNNY BOOK = Preaching to Hell's Angels: Pastor Redlight.
PUNNY BOOK = Prepare To Meet Your Maker: Eva DeStruction.
PUNNY BOOK = Preparing Leather: Tanya Hyde.
PUNNY BOOK = Prevent Drowning: Buddy System.
PUNNY BOOK = Pull with All You've Got!: Eve Ho.
PUNNY BOOK = Punk Rock Rulez!: Lotta Noyze.
PUNNY BOOK = Put'er There, Pal!: Greg Garious.
PUNNY BOOK = Quips For The Young At Heart: Marty Pants.
PUNNY BOOK = Racketeering: Dennis Court.
PUNNY BOOK = Raising Flowers By Hand: Flo Wrist.
PUNNY BOOK = Rangers In The Night: Forrest Fyar.
PUNNY BOOK = Ready...Set...: Sadie Word.
PUNNY BOOK = Red Vegetables: B. Troot.
PUNNY BOOK = Repent At Leisure: Marion Hayste.
PUNNY BOOK = Riel Ambush!: May T. Surprise
PUNNY BOOK = Robots: Anne Droid
PUNNY BOOK = Round the World: Madge Ellen.
PUNNY BOOK = Rules For Living: Sharon Sharalike.
PUNNY BOOK = Say The Magic Word: Abby Cadabra.
PUNNY BOOK = Scandinavian Photography: Matt Finnish.
PUNNY BOOK = Scottish Kilt Patterns: Glen Pladd.
PUNNY BOOK = Scuffed Floors: Mark Tupp.
PUNNY BOOK = Sea Birds: Al Batross.
PUNNY BOOK = Self Denial Made Easy: Abner Gation.
PUNNY BOOK = Shaky Knees: Cliff Diver.
PUNNY BOOK = Shhh!: Danielle Soloud
PUNNY BOOK = Ship Mysteries: Marie Celeste.
PUNNY BOOK = Shoes For Farm And Ranch: Claude Hopper.
PUNNY BOOK = Skunks in the Shrubbery: P. Yew.
PUNNY BOOK = Small Vegetables: Russell Sprout.
PUNNY BOOK = Smart Beer Making: Bud Wiser.
PUNNY BOOK = Smash His Lobster!: Buster Crabbe.
PUNNY BOOK = Smoker's Cough: Nick O'Teen.
PUNNY BOOK = Snorting My Way To Heaven: Angel Dust.
PUNNY BOOK = Social Insecurity: Wilma Moneylast.
PUNNY BOOK = Soda Pop History: Ginger Aile
PUNNY BOOK = Sofa so Good: Chester Field
PUNNY BOOK = Solving Crimes: D. Tective.
PUNNY BOOK = Some Like it Sweet: Sugar Kane.
PUNNY BOOK = Songs For Children: Barbara Blacksheep.
PUNNY BOOK = Songs from 'South Pacific': Sam and Janet Evening.
PUNNY BOOK = Southern California Waffles: Sandy Eggo.
PUNNY BOOK = Split Personalities: Jacqueline Hyde.
PUNNY BOOK = Star Spangled Barrio: Jose Canusee.
PUNNY BOOK = Still Looking For My Heart: Sam Francisco.
PUNNY BOOK = Stop Arguing: Xavier Breath.
PUNNY BOOK = String Instruments: Viola Player.
PUNNY BOOK = Strong Winds: Gail Force.
PUNNY BOOK = Surprised!: Omar Gosh.
PUNNY BOOK = Swimming in the Arctic: I. C. Waters.
PUNNY BOOK = Tailoring: Serge Soote.
PUNNY BOOK = Take a Break!: Colin Sick.
PUNNY BOOK = Take This Job And Shove It: Ike Witt.
PUNNY BOOK = Teach Me!: I. Wanda Know
PUNNY BOOK = Tear Up Those Betting Slips: Lou Zerr.
PUNNY BOOK = Teenagers Of The '50's: Bobbie Sox.
PUNNY BOOK = The Auto Salvage Business: Rex Toad.
PUNNY BOOK = The Beach Bully: Harry Ayp.
PUNNY BOOK = The Bog: Pete Maas.
PUNNY BOOK = The Candy Store: Pepper Mintz.
PUNNY BOOK = The Criminals Of Watergate: Barton Mee.
PUNNY BOOK = The Dead Of Winter: Jan Yuary.
PUNNY BOOK = The Effects of Alcohol: Sir Osis of Liver.
PUNNY BOOK = The Empath: Ophelia Sadness.
PUNNY BOOK = The Excitement of Trees: I. M. Board.
PUNNY BOOK = The Fall of a Watermelon: S. Platt.
PUNNY BOOK = The Fortuneteller: Reid Palms.
PUNNY BOOK = The French Chef: Sue Flay.
PUNNY BOOK = The Garden State: Ida Hoe.
PUNNY BOOK = The German Bank Robbery: Hans Zupp.
PUNNY BOOK = The Greasy Spoon: Chris Coe.
PUNNY BOOK = The Great Escape: Freida Convict.
PUNNY BOOK = The Great Flood: Noah Zark.
PUNNY BOOK = The Ham Radio Primer: Loudon Clear.
PUNNY BOOK = The Hitchhiker: Juan Nalift.
PUNNY BOOK = The Industrial Revolution: Otto Mattick.
PUNNY BOOK = The Irish Heart Surgeon: Angie O'Plasty.
PUNNY BOOK = The LA Lakers' Breakfast: Kareem O'Wheat.
PUNNY BOOK = The Lady Pirate: Peg Legg.
PUNNY BOOK = The Last Roundup: Brandon Irons.
PUNNY BOOK = The Lion Attacked: Claudia Armoff.
PUNNY BOOK = The Miracle Drug: Penny Cillin.
PUNNY BOOK = The Monkey Cage: Jim Panzee.
PUNNY BOOK = The Music Of Sammy Davis Jr.: Candy Mann.
PUNNY BOOK = The National Science Foundation: Grant Money.
PUNNY BOOK = The Palace Roof has a Hole: Lee King.
PUNNY BOOK = The Paper Route: Avery Daye.
PUNNY BOOK = The Peace Mission: Olive Branch.
PUNNY BOOK = The Perils Of Drug Addiction: Anita Fixx.
PUNNY BOOK = The Phillipine Post Office: Imelda Letter.
PUNNY BOOK = The Porn Queen: Mona Lott.
PUNNY BOOK = The Scent Of A Man: Jim Nasium.
PUNNY BOOK = The Senior Prom: Spike Drink.
PUNNY BOOK = The Smorgasbord: Buffy Dinner.
PUNNY BOOK = The Squeaking Gate: Rusty Hinges.
PUNNY BOOK = The Sweat Shop: Hiram Cheap.
PUNNY BOOK = The Telltale Heart: Stefi Scope.
PUNNY BOOK = The Truancy Problem: Marcus Absent.
PUNNY BOOK = The TV News Anchorman: Maury Ports.
PUNNY BOOK = The Twelfth Month: Dee Sember.
PUNNY BOOK = The World's Best Recipes: Gus Tatorial.
PUNNY BOOK = The World's Deadliest Joke: Theophilus Punoval.
PUNNY BOOK = Theft and Robbery: Andy Tover.
PUNNY BOOK = Things To Do At Parties: Bob Frapples.
PUNNY BOOK = Those Funny Dogs: Joe Kur.
PUNNY BOOK = Tight Situation: Leah Tard.
PUNNY BOOK = Tinseltown Tales: Holly Wood.
PUNNY BOOK = To be Honest: Frank Lee.
PUNNY BOOK = Too Rough: Soren Redd.
PUNNY BOOK = Trial Law: Tess Temoni.
PUNNY BOOK = Trim Those Sideburns Too?: Buzz Cutt.
PUNNY BOOK = Tug of War: Paul Hard.
PUNNY BOOK = Turtle Racing: Eubie Quick.
PUNNY BOOK = Unemployed: Anita Job.
PUNNY BOOK = Unsolved Mysteries: N. Igma.
PUNNY BOOK = Unwanted Babies: Anna Bortion.
PUNNY BOOK = Wake Up!: Sal Ammoniac.
PUNNY BOOK = We Won 20-1!: Barry Um.
PUNNY BOOK = We're All Flakes: Dan Druff.
PUNNY BOOK = Webster's Words: Dick Shunnary.
PUNNY BOOK = West Coast Universities: Stan Ford.
PUNNY BOOK = What I Took: Irv Erginity.
PUNNY BOOK = What Makes Airplanes Go: Jeff Fuel.
PUNNY BOOK = What's For Dinner?: Chuck Roast.
PUNNY BOOK = Whatchamacallit!: Thingum Bob.
PUNNY BOOK = When's The Revolution?: Millie Tant.
PUNNY BOOK = Where to Find Islands: Archie Pelago.
PUNNY BOOK = Who Killed Cock Robin?: Howard I. Know.
PUNNY BOOK = Why Cars Stop: M.T. Tank.
PUNNY BOOK = Wind In The Maple Trees: Russell Ingleaves.
PUNNY BOOK = Wind Instruments: Tom Bone.
PUNNY BOOK = Winning the Race: Vic Tree.
PUNNY BOOK = Wish I'd Never Been Born: Rudy Daye.
PUNNY BOOK = Without Warning: Oliver Sudden.
PUNNY BOOK = Woulda Been A Great Shortstop: Kent Hitt.
PUNNY BOOK = Yoko's Robe: Kim Ono.
PUNNY BOOK = You Drip!: Lee K. Fawcette.
PUNNY BOOK = You Wash, I'll Dry: Terry Cloth.
PUNNY BOOK = You're a Bundle of Laughs: Vera Funny.
PUNNY BOOK = You're Kidding!: Shirley U. Jest.
PUNNY BOOK = You're So Sweet: Mable Syrup.
Punny Book: Back Row Of The Orchestra - Clara Nett
Punny Book: Bad Cow Jokes - Terry Bull
Punny Book: Bad Gardeners - Wilt Plant
Punny Book: Bad Money - Count R. Fitz.
Punny Book: Battle Axes - Tom A. Hawk
Punny Book: Beekeeping - A. V. Arry
Punny Book: Beneath the bleachers - Seemore Butz
Punny Book: Big Fart! - Hugh Jass
Punny Book: Blood In the Saddle - The Kotex Kid
Punny Book: Blowout! - Vlad Tire
Punny Book: Boring Midwestern Cities - Cole Lumbus
Punny Book: Boy Scout's Handbook - Casey Needzit
Punny Book: Brane Surjery Maid Simpel - Sarah Bellum
Punny Book: Breaking the Law - Kermit A. Krime
Punny Book: Candle-Vaulting - Jack B. Nimble
Punny Book: Car Capital Of The World - Mitch Egan
Punny Book: Car Repairs - Axel Grease
Punny Book: Care For A Chop? - Marsha Larts
Punny Book: Cheating on His Wife - Izzy Backyet
Punny Book: Chicago Gangs Of The '30's - Tommy Gunn
Punny Book: Christmas for Baldies - Yule Brynner
Punny Book: Cloning - Ima Dubble
Punny Book: College Athletics - Nancy Dubblelay
Punny Book: Columbus, Vespucci, And Me - Enzo DiUrth
Punny Book: Come on in! - Doris Open
Punny Book: Computer Memories - Meg Abight
Punny Book: Confessions Of A Gold Digger - Emile Ticket
Punny Book: Cooking Spaghetti - Al Dente
Punny Book: Cosmetology - Rosie Cheeks
Punny Book: Covered Walkways - R. Kade
Punny Book: Crackdown - Lauren Order
Punny Book: Crocodile Dundee - Ali Gator
Punny Book: Cry Wolf - Al Armist
Punny Book: Cut the Grass! - Moses Lawn
Punny Book: Go To Bed - Ida Wanna
Punny Book: Too Many Beers - I.P. Freely
Punny Book: Too Much Diet Coke - I.P. Freely
Punny Book: Tracks in the Sand - Peter Dragon
Punny Book: Who Killed Cock Robin - Ida Know
Punny Books: A Boxing Cornerman's Story: Dawson DeTowel.
Punny Books: Ah, Thor!: Ty Till.
Punny Books: Artificial Weightlessness: Andy Gravity.
Punny Books: Boy Scout's Handbook: Casey Needzit.
Punny Books: Ecclesiastical Infractions: Cardinal Sin.
Punny Books: I Love Mathematics: Adam Up.
Punny Books: Indiana Jones' Adventures: Darrin Rescue.
Punny Books: Jewish Holidays: Hannah Kuhh.
Punny Books: Not Bogged Down In Reality
Punny Books: Not Bogged Down In Reality: Jason Rainbows.
Punny Books: Poetry in Baseball: Homer.
Punny Books: Smoker's Cough: Nick O'Teen.
Punny Books: Southern California Waffles: Sandy Eggo.
Punny Books: Swimming in the Arctic: I. C. Waters.
Punny Books: The German Bank Robbery: Hans Zupp.
Punny Books: Unemployed: Anita Job.
Put'er There, Pal!: Greg Garious*
Quick, burn the books.
Quips For The Young At Heart: Marty Pants*
Quit reading mail, load your word processor, and write that book!
Racketeering: Dennis Court
Rangers In The Night: Forrest Fyar*
Rapunzel, Rapunzel!: Harris Long
Rare Book:  One that comes back after you've lent it.
Read newspapers - an informed citizen panics more intelligently.
Read the best books first, or you may not be able to read them all.
Reading, Writing, and the Buying of Books.   What else is there???
Reagan library burned! Both books destroyed! Crayons saved ,though.
Reality depends on the book I am currently reading.
Reality depends on the book I am currently reading. * Jonathan Lang
Reality depends on the book I am currently reading."
Red Vegetables:                    B. Troot(6)
Redundant book title: MACs For Dummies.
Reed: Limbless man on a pile of books.
Repent and return those library books.
Repent At Leisure: Marion Hayste*
Research is when you steal from 100 books.
Revenge of the baby by Nora Titt
Revenge of the cat by Claude Balls
Riel Ambush!:                      May T. Surprise
Ring of DM control! That's NOT in the book!
Robots: Anne Droid
Ronald Reagan library burned! Both books destroyed! Crayons melted!
Ronald Reagan's library just burned down. Both books were destroyed.
Round the World: Madge Ellen(7)
Rules For Living:                  Sharon Sharalike*
RUSSIAN TENNIS SHOES: IVAN ODOR(l)
Rusty Bedsprings - By Doomore Wetting
Rusty Bedsprings,            by I.P. Nightly
Sarah Jane Smith to write tell-all book: DOCTOR IN MY HOUSE.
Say The Magic Word: Abby Cadabra*
Scandinavian Photography: Matt Finnish*
Science fiction stories are whatever sf editors buy.-J Campbell
Scottish Kilt Patterns: Glen Pladd*
Sea Birds: Al Batross(6)
SEASON TICKETS: OPRAH MAVEN(l)
Seek ye out of the book of the LORD and read. Isa 34:16.
Seen the shows, read the books, the books were better!
Self Denial Made Easy: Abner Gation*
Send $20 for my new book, Money is the Root of All Evil.
Sequal to "The Godfather" - "War and Pizza."
Shaky Knees: Cliff Diver*
She had more Chins than the Chinese phonebook!
She had more chins than the Hong Kong phone book.
She has more chins than a Chinese phonebook.
She was so fat, she had more chins than a Chinese phonebook.
Shhh!:                             Danielle Soloud*
Ship Mysteries: Marie Celeste
Shoes For Farm And Ranch: Claude Hopper*
Sign in a book store: WE TREAT YOU WRITE.
SILLY RABBIT: TRIXIE R. FORKIDS(l)
Silmarillion: Worst book by a dead man.
Silmarillion: Worst book not by J.R.R. Tolkien.
SilmarillionWorst book by a dead man.
SilmarillionWorst book not by J.R.R. Tolkien.
Skunks in the Shrubbery:           P. Yew
Slash. Maim. Mutilate. (Any recipe, any cookbook).
Small Vegetables:                  Russell Sprout*
Smart Beer Making:                 Bud Wiser
Smash His Lobster!: Buster Crabbe
Smoker's Cough: Nick O'Teen*
Snakes of the World: Anna Conda
Snorting My Way To Heaven: Angel Dust*
So many books, so little time
So many books, so little time <sigh>.
So whats the big brouhaha about my name in Heidi's book?
So why does Heidi Fleiss have you 9 times in her book?
So...anyone read any good books lately?
Soak Your Ex-Husband: Ali Money(6)
Social Insecurity: Wilma Moneylast*
Soda Pop History: Ginger Aile(a)
Sofa so Good: Chester Field
Some books leave us free and some books make us free.
Some Like it Sweet: Sugar Kane(a)
Some people have more problems than an arithmetic book.
Some people, you can read like a book, and some are not so easily shut up.
Songs For Children: Barbara Blacksheep*
Songs from 'South Pacific': Sam and Janet Evening
Southern California Waffles: Sandy Eggo*
Spear of Destiny? How about Javelin the Pocketbook?
Split Personalities: Jacqueline Hyde*
Standard British bird, the gannet... it's in all the books!
Star Spangled Barrio: Jose Canusee*
Stealing taglines, eh?  Book him for "Grand Theft Motto."
Stiff Joints,  by Arthur I. Diss,  illustrations by Ben Gay
Still Looking For My Heart: Sam Francisco*
Stop Arguing: Xavier Breath
String Instruments: Viola Player
The Sweat Shop: Hiram Cheap*
The Telltale Heart: Stefi Scope
The thinnest book? Lawyers that don't care about money.
The thinnest book? Successful Foriegn policy enacted by Democrats.
The thinnest book? The Concordance of Efficient Goverments.
The thinnest book? The Republican book of good natured humor.
The Tigers Revenge by Claude Balls
The Truancy Problem: Marcus Absent*
The TV News Anchorman:  Maury Ports
The Twelfth Month:     Dee Sember
The Unknown Rodent: A. Nonny Mouse
The world is coming to an end! Repent & return those library books.
The Yellow River by I.P. Freely
THEFT AMONG ARTHROPODS: THE LIEUTENANTS(l)
Theft and Robbery:                 Andy Tover(4)
There are no errors in this book, except this one.
They don't print any dirty books in Braille! --Tom Sullivan.
Things to Cook Meat In:            Stu Potts
Things To Do At Parties: Bob Frapples*
THIS BOOK IS SO PROFOUND it bores me to death.
This book taught me how to level a town with a fireball.
This isn't one of those kissing books, is it Grandpa?
This reality is pretty crook. I think I'll dive into my book again.
Those Funny Dogs: Joe Kur
Three Months In The Saddle :   by Major Assburn
Tinseltown Tales: Holly Wood
To be Honest: Frank Lee(a)
To Serve Man- at better booksellers.
To: TINKERBELLMortician" - by Phil Degraves
Took the mage's brain?!!  Stupid orcs, just get the spellbook!
Trails in the Sand by Peter Dragon
Travel among books is the best travel of all.
Trilogy (n). Series of three books, sometimes more.
Trim Those Sideburns Too?: Buzz Cutt*
TSR's last book: Player's Guide to kill bad DMs!
Tug of War: Paul Hard
TURKISH MINERALS: ASA MINER(l)
Turtle Racing:    Eubie Quick
TV's Famous Last Words: Book him Dano.
Twenty Yards to the Out-House, by Willy Make-it illustrated by Betty Wont.
Two Amigas?? You have Bookends, very nice.
Two Thousand Pounds!:  Juan Ton
Tyrant of the Potatoes: Dick Tater
Ultimate justification of mankind's existence: Books!
Unauthorized damage of regulation book is strictly against regulations.
Under the Bleachers by Seymour Butts
Under the Grandstand,   by Seymour Butts.
Unemployed: Anita Job(b)
Uninteresting Road Signs: Bill Bored
Unsolved Mysteries: N. Igma(5)
Unwanted Babies: Anna Bortion(8)
Unwritten book: "Dash for the Bathroom" by Willie Makitt.
Unwritten Book: Programing The Female Operating System.
Upset the politically correct - read banned books.
Ura Redneck if you own 3 TV's and only 2 books.
URA Redneck if you own more TV's than books.
Ura Redneck if your matchbook doubles as a toothpick.
URA Redneck if your watch band is wider than any book you've read.
URA Redneck if: You own more TV's than books.
Vacation in the billion worlds of a used book store...
VERTIGO: What a tourbook tells you.
Vietnam cookbook: 101 ways to WOK your dog.
Vietnamese Cookbook: 101 Ways to Wok Your Dog!
Volunteer's Guidebook: Linda Hand.
Wait! "Clinton's How to Serve Taxpayers" -- it's a COOKBOOK!
Wake Up!: Sal Ammoniac
Wanna read a good horror novel? Get a history book!
Warning! Warning! Bookstore ahead, hide wallet.
We are all books of blood, when we are opened we are red.
We read to say that we have read:
We Take Credit Cards, But...: Cassius Better(I)
We're All Flakes: Dan Druff*
We've got a lot of books here, its a book shop!
Webster's Words:                   Dick Shunnary(3)
Weekend In Hong Kong: Rick Shaw
West Coast Universities: Stan Ford*
What do you do when you've written more books than you've read?
What do you mean, you're overbooked?
What I Took: Irv Erginity*
What kind of demented recipe book are you using?!
What Makes Airplanes Go: Jeff Fuel*
What you don't know fills every book ever printed.
What you don't know fills nearly every book ever printed.
What's another name for stud book? A male order catalog.
What's For Dinner? :   by Chuck Roast*
What's For Dinner?.                Chuck Roast*
What's the thinnest book in the world? The Irish cookbook.
What's the thinnest book in the world? The Lesbian Book of Humor.
What's Your Invention?:  Pat Tent
Whatchamacallit!: Thingum Bob
When I want to read a book, I write one.  --Benjamin Disraeli
When I want to read a good book, I write one.
When is human nature so weak as in the bookstore? -- H.W. Beecher
When the bird and the bird book disagree, believe the bird.
Whenever books are burned, men, also, are burned." -- Heine
Where do you find the time to not read so many books?
Where does it say in the book that we are supposed to have fun?
Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?
Where to Find Islands: Archie Pelago
Where to Put Your Money: Bill Fold(k)
Where's my book of tasteless jokes...ah, here we go!
Who Killed Cock Robin?: Howard I. Know
Who needs drugs? I go broke buying books.
Who the Dickens wrote "Oliver Twist", anyway?
Whoa! Wrong book.
Why Cars Stop:  M.T. Tank
Willpower, it's the only way to keep ahead of the book bills! :)
Wind In The Maple Trees: Russell Ingleaves*
Wind Instruments: Tom Bone
Winning the Race: Vic Tree
Wish I'd Never Been Born: Rudy Daye*
Without books God is silent.
Without Warning:  Oliver Sudden
World's thinnest book.  Clinton's kept promises.
Would make an excellent illustration in a proctology textbook.
Woulda Been A Great Shortstop: Kent Hitt*
Wouldn't You Know It: Murphy Slaw*
Writing a book is a novel idea...
Yellow River, by I. Peed Freely
Yoko's Robe: Kim Ono*
You actually READ the articles in Playboy??
You are a page short of a book.
You can't book a judge by his cover.
You can't judge a book by its movie.
You can't read men like a book but it's fun browsing the pages.
You can't tell a book by its movie.
You can't throw us into space, we're trying to write a book.
You Drip!: Lee K. Fawcette(b)
You give'em a book and they eat the pages.
You know how it is in the kid's book world:It's just bunny eat bunny.
You know who somebody is. By looking at his books.
You send `em to school...they eat the books.
You toucha my books and I breaka you face.
You Wash, I'll Dry: Terry Cloth*
You're a Bundle of Laughs: Vera Funny
You're copying the whole textbook onto you body.
You're Kidding!: Shirley U. Jest
You've run Toolbook and your CPU still works?!
Your book ate your homework, hmm? That's a new one. --Mrs. Wormwood.
Zall's Law: A dirty book is seldom dusty.
He's so cheap: After shaking your hand he counts his fingers.
He's so cheap: Before counting his money he gets drunk so he'll see double.
He's so cheap: Even his 8 by 10 photos are only 7 by 9.
He's so cheap: Even if he were in a canoe he wouldn't tip.
He's so cheap: For supper he sits on the porch and bites his lips.
He's so cheap: He always licks his eyeglasses after eating grapefruit.
He's so cheap: He always washes his paper plates.
He's so cheap: He bought his daughter a doll house with a mortgage on it.
He's so cheap: He even stops his watch to save time.
He's so cheap: He gave his wife a 1 month subscription to Reader's Digest.
He's so cheap: He gave his wife a one-month subscription to Reader's Digest.
He's so cheap: He heats his knives so he won't use too much butter.
He's so cheap: He is tighter than the top olive in the bottle.
He's so cheap: He keeps a moth as a pet because it only eats holes.
He's so cheap: He married a skinny girl so he could buy a small wedding ring.
He's so cheap: He opened his wallet once and three months flew out.
He's so cheap: He puts glue in his mustache so his kisses will last longer.
He's so cheap: He quit golf when he lost his ball.
He's so cheap: He takes his electric razor to the office to recharge it.
He's so cheap: He took out fire insurance on his cigars.
He's so cheap: He uses the same calendar year after year.
He's so cheap: He walks his date to a drive-in movie.
He's so cheap: He won't even give his wife an argument.
He's so cheap: He won't even let you borrow trouble.
He's so cheap: He won't even tip his hat.
He's so cheap: He would come over and borrow a flag on July 4th.
He's so cheap: He would never even pass the buck.
He's so cheap: The only thing he ever saved for a rainy day was his vacation.
He's so cheap: The only thing he ever threw out was the bill collector.
He's so cheap: The only thing he every gave away was a secret.
He's so cheap: When he pays you a compliment he asks for a receipt.
"What do you mean 'I burnt the oatmeal'?"   That's COFFEE!.
Coffee line forms here.  Take a number.
Coffee via I.V. Drip... (Doughnuts optional).
COLA: Poor coffee substitute!
Decaffeinated coffee is like kissing your sister.
DOC's???    Oh, the stuff you wipe spilt coffee up with...
Ever think about switching to Decaff?
Get me some coffee and ask me again in ten minutes.
hiGhEr bRAiN FUnCtiON ERROr... inSERt COFfEe.
I can't live without my coffee and my PC....
I eat my coffee straight from the can.  Why dilute it?.
Instant Human:  Just add coffee.
Is there life before coffee?
Just bring me my coffee, and s-l-o-w-l-y back away..
Just give me the coffee, and no one will get hurt.
Life begins after coffee!
Make another pot of coffee...I'm gonna read mail..
Maybe you just need a little more coffee.
Message brought to you by sufficient coffee ingestion.
Nonsense. There is no such thing as too much coffee.
Of course, coffee *is* one of the major vitamins..
Three Food Groups:  Coffee, Chocolate, Ice Cream!
Ultimate office automation: Networked coffee machines!
Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Halted!.
"Daddy, what does FORMATTING DH0: mean?
"Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?"
...SVGA; the gift that keeps on .gif'ing
ALZHEIMER.COM found . . . Out of . . . something . .
ARC.angel says "zip.itup"
Attempting to load SYSOP...SYSOP already loaded...load another? [Y/y]
BIGBANG.COM finshed. Run again (Y/N) ? Y...Proces#%^%& NO CARRIER
Boost your system's speed by 200%--DEL C:*.* echo y
Boost your system's speed by 200%--DEL C:\WINDOWS\*.*
BREAKFAST.COM halted: Cereal port not responding!
BREKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding.
C:\> - The REAL computer user's ONLY icon.
C:\BELFRY /\oo/\ This is where bat files are kept /\oo/\
C:\CLINTON.EXE Bad President or File Name
C:\CLINTON\TRUTH.COM not found: <A>bort <R>etry <I>mpeach
C:\DAMSEL.EXE cross linked with DISTRESS.COM..RESCUE? Y/N
C:\DAMSEL.EXE crosslinked w/DISTRESS.COM--RESCUE?(y/n)
C:\DAMSEL.EXE crosslinked with DISTRESS.COM..RESCUE? Y/N
C:\DOS  C:\DOS\RUN  RUN DOS RUN
C:\DOS\RUN     C:\WINDOWS\CRAWL     C:\OS2\FLY
C:\JACKSON\MICHAEL\NOSE.BIT missing ... Sue Plastic Surgeon [Y/n]
C:\PROGRAMS\FAULTY\TRASH\SICKJOKE\WINDOWS>
Cannot find COLDBEER.CAN, Moderator not loaded.
Cannot find COLDBEER.CAN, Sysop not loaded.
CLI - The REAL computer user's ONLY Icon!
CLINTON.LIE found. Cannot save COUNTRY.USA
COLDONE.BUD FOUND - SYSOP LOADED
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-Boot Washington DC (Y/n)?
Copy dh0:c/trek dh0:c/reality all
Delete dh0:C/reality
dh0:>delete dh0:c/reality copy trek dh0:c/trek/ all
dh0:c/BREAKFAST Halted .... Cereal port not responding!
dh0:c/COFFEE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
dh0:c/COFFEE Not Found:  User startup disabled.
dh0:c/COFFEE not found: (A)dd more, (R)eheat, (F)reak out?
dh0:c/ESCHATON Found. Immanentize? (Yes/No/Quit/Fnord)?
dh0:c/reality corrupt... reboot universe? (Y/N)
dh0:c/REALITY hallucinated. Take another hit? <Y/n/q>
Error #0001: COSMOS.CFG Corrupt. Reboot Universe (Y/N):
Error #0101: RAYGUN.CFG Out of Memory. Load BUSH.SYS Instead? [Y/n]
ERROR - Unable to insert witty tagline.  HUMOR.SYS corrupted.
Error finding dh0:c/REALITY  -  Universe halted.
Error in dh0:c/REALITY <A>bort Dream (Y/n)?
Error in dh0:c/REALITY <A>bort, <R>etry, <S>hell to Virtual Reality?
ERROR in dh0:C/REALITY <A>lter Reality, <R>un df0:FANTASY intead?
Error in dh0:c/REALITY Run dh0:c/BIG_BANG (Y/N)?
Error loading dh0:c/GOD (A)bort or (U)nzip BIGBANG.ZIP.
Error- dh0:c/REALITY not found, install df0:TREK? (Y/n)
ERROR: dh0:C/REALITY corrupt. Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
ERROR: dh0:C/REALITY Corrupted -- Universe unrecoverable
ERROR: ORG.ASM not found. Should I fake it (Y)es (N)o (R)etry?
Error: RUM&COKE.DRK unexpected EOF.  Operator Loaded
File ORG.ASM not found...Girlfriend NOT happy.
GURU MEDITATION 80000004 0F040008 TASK SUSPENDED...Shoot Programmer [Y/n]
HORN.CAR not responding. Using FINGER.WAV instead.
I keep my .BATs in C:\BELFRY.
IMPOTENT.SYS Resident, harddrive inactive. Insert floppy (Y/N)?
KITTY.CAT virus found. MOUSE.COM deleted.
Now running  dh0:c/REALITY <beta>...
PANDORA.ZIP  Warning! Do NOT UnZIP This File!
PATH=C:\DOS;C:\DOS\RUN;C:\WIN\CRASH\DOS;C:\ME\DEL\WIN;C:\ME\USE\OS2
PKUNZIP -D CLINTON.ZIP...Exploding ECONOMY.USA
PKUNZIP CLINTON.ZIP...PKUNZIP(E11) File structure corrupt! Use PKZipFix
Pkunzip WOMAN.ZIP --- Error: don't no how to handle STRAP.BRA.
POLICE.COM not found. Run DONUT.BAT to locate [Y/n]?
REALITY.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot universe?(Y/N/A/Q)
SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
Unable to locate dh0:c/REALITY - Universe halted!
Unable to open TROUSER.ZIP  <A>bort <R>etry <P>iss pants
UnZip PANTS.ZIP - now THAT'S a command line!
Warning! dh0:c/REALITY corrupted: reboot universe? [Y/n]
WOMAN.ZIP: Great program. No docs, but fun to unZIP.
+++ ATH +++ ATH +++ ATH... Work Damn-it!!!
1200 bps used to seem so fast
300 bps Is that life in the sloooow lane or what?
386 and HST 144x - The only way to fly!
4 out of 5 modems prefer it.
500 echoes, and I had to pick this one
<----- The information went data way ----->
<Ctrl><Alt><Del> to read the next message
A BBSer's telephone bill knows no bounds...
A little LAN will do it!
A modem is a baudy house.
A USRHST-worlds most powerful modem-feeling lucky punk?
Abandon all hope, ye who press [{��] here...
Abstinence should be practiced with modulation
ACK and ye shall receive.
After dinner, he said, "Your modem or mine?"
Alexander Graham Bell is alive and well, and still waiting for a dial tone!
Anybody who'd run a COMM program is a COMMIE.
Are 12 lines at 1,200bps as good as 1 line at 14,400bps?
Attention!!  Modem addict on the lOOse
baud � bps
Baud, James Baud. - famous British spy/modemer
Beat me! Whip me! Make me use Kermit.
Beware of Modem Addiction!  It's contagious!
BIT: Past tense of BYTE.
Bits, Bytes, Bauds ...Can't live With, or Without!
Call 1-800-52-STERN For "CRUSIFIED BY THE FCC"!!!
Can I blame all of my spelling on line noise?
Can you whistle 300 baud?
Car phone answering machine: "Hi, I'm home right now..."
Citation for slow BBS'ing: Going 2400 in an HST lane.
Clap on <CLAP,CLAP> Clap off <CLAP,CLAP> &*#%!@>&.. NO CARRIER
Coming to a TV soon... "Days of our Modems".
Complaints? Dial 1-900-CRY-BABY. ($349/min)
CompuCrumb SPUDModem Detected; System hanging up now...
CONNECT 110?!? Help! I'm in s l o w  m o t i o n !!
Curses! Hayes-ed again!!
Danger, Off-topic messages!  Danger!
Darn my h�n� �i�� �s n��s��
Dial 1-BANG-OPTUS
Dialing long distance wears me out
Did you say MNP means Modem Needs Pizza?
Digital communications, it makes my digit hurt.
Do cellular phones cause reckless dialing?
DO I need a modem for each phone line?
Don't you DARE touch that ignore button!!!!!!!
Drop your carrier ... we have you surrounded!
DSZ port 13 speed 300 ha ha he he rz -ZZZZzzzzzz...
DSZ Super8k Xmodem-The good,the bad &the ugly
Every little BYTE helps
Faster, Cheaper, More Efficient - Modems or Wives
Gasp, someone else got thru the busy signal!
Get a USR It leaves the others behind.
Gotta hide the phone bill from my wife.
Guns don't kill people, off-line readers do.
Happiness is a warm modem.
Have you hugged your modem today?
He said "ENQ?".  "NAK!", she replied.
Heads, up Boise! Incoming spuds!
Help It's my modem. She don't wanna work no more!
Help--I'm being held captive by my modem!
I *know* the phone bill's high-That's why I need a faster modem ;>
I bought an internal modem, but I can't swallow it.
I Come In Peace, Take Me To Your Modem.
I got a french modem! $%*()@!@#%$^$%#$*$ PAS DE CARRIER
I got a phone bill, now I need a better job.
I have a dream... "Transfer completed (100,000 CPS)..."
I modem down, but dey grew back.
I'll byte your bits if you'll nybble my words
I'll call you back, my call-waiting's beeping!
Is HST faster than the Concord?
Is it just me, or is 9600 not as fast as it used to be?
ISDN: Incompatible Systems Designed Not-to-work
It's only a hobby, duhh, only a hobby, duhh, only a...
It's only modem sex,dear, I promise it won't hurt....
Just a moment.. I have another call..
Let's see, what's the command? Alt-H? NO CARRIER Ah Shi.
Life is too short to learn Z-Modem parameters!
Line noise provided by Telecom!
List(en)ing by phone...
Li�n�e ��no�is@$e??  Wha�t �li�ne noi�s�e?�?
Lookout World!  The Modem is Ringing!
Man, that thunder sounds clo#�#�! &^#��##�NO CARRIER
MODEM - Money OweD to tElecoM
MODEM - Monumentally Overpriced Data Eating Machine.
MODEM ... a deterrent to phone solicitors.
Modem A great deterrent to phone solicitors
Modem owners do it online!
Modem Police...we clocked you at over 1600 cps.
Modem sex begins with a handshake.
Modem.... A deterrent to phone solicitors.
Modem: A great deterrent to phone solicitors
Modem: Device to simulate sound of disconnected telephone
Modemo Ergo Dingbats
Modems are G-R-R-R-R-REAT!!!
Modems are proof that people enjoy torturing themsevles
Modems are too slow, and life is too short. [-dd-]
Modems.....reach out and BYTE someone!
Modems...MOdulator DEModulator...MOney owDEd to Ma bell!
My computer's sick. I think my modem is a carrier.
NAK NAK, "Who's There?" #@#^#$%#(#@^ NO CARRIER
Never underestimate the power of "Modem Addictus"!
New Hayes AT command: AT ET = Phone Home.
NO CARRIER .... Oh well, I didn't want to land anyway !
No wonder I never get any calls: Every time I call myself its busy!
No, Bi-modem doesn't mean your modem is gay.
Not another NAK NAK joke, Please!
Not tonight, dear.  I have a modem.
Nyehh ... =my= finger has an Austel approval sticker!!   :)
Okay Okay - right after this one we're BACK to the TOPIC!
once i add stealth technology to my HST!
Phone sex? Nah. Ma Bell is a little past Playmate age.
Phoneco.sys corrupted - recommend competitive market
Really honey, just ONE more message.....
Save gas:  Commute by modem
Sitting here with my BUFFER open!!!
So many messages ... So little time left.
So many messages, So little time!
So wadda ya' want for 10,395 bucks, buddy? A 486i?
Stop spelling misteaks: use error correcting modems.
Taco Bell is not a Mexican phone company.
TACO BELL isnt a Mexican telephone Co.???
Telecommunications is a bit far fetched.
Telecommunicators are special people.
That's not line noise--my modem's speaking in tongues!
The phone's tapped anyway.
tin cans and a string....
UART what you eat.
WARNING! Computers and modems are ADDICTIVE!
Was Jimi Hendrix's modem a purple Hayes?
We now return Control of your Modem to you....
Well if I phoned the wrong number, why did they answer?
What I need is a faster modem?
What is the purpose of hanging up if I'm calling again tomorrow?
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Wherewedon'tcareifyoudon'tleaveaspacebetweenyourwords.
Who gets the most line noise of all?...we do Chucky, we do...
With a modem, I can take on the world!
Wow... Did you just see that USR go by?��!
You gotta know when to code 'em, know when to modem.
You mean, you can use the telephone line for TALKING???
Your call will be answered in the order it was ignored.
#@$ffwe99fjaljdkljl Get off the keyboard ya stupid cat!
*I* didn't do it, the *computer* did it!
*S*W*A*KS*...a.k.a., Sealed With A KeyStroke
1 milibyte (1mB) = .001 bytes.
11+10=101...???... Get outta here...
2B or not 2B = FF
3 yr-olds and `puters do mix, its da keyboard that suffers!
33mHz ain't fast enough!
386! The VAX crusher!
640k = 4480 in dog bytes.
66686 - CPU of the beast. 66687: Math Coprocessor of the Beast.
80486: Process cash from wallet at higher speeds.
8086, 8088, 286, 386, 486 . . . "Pentium?!"
90% of PC problems are between the keyboard and the chair.
<BOOM><BOOM><BOOM><BOOM> Nitroglycerin on keys
>>THE PS/2!<< IT'S! hummm, uhhhh IBM COMPATIBLE!
A 486-50 is the only acceptable solution.
A clean disk is the sign of a sick computer.
A computer a day.....
A computer addict needs 26 hours in a day, all 8 days of the week...
A computer without software just decorates your desk.
A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord
A confident manner is important: Computers can sense this!
A desktop Cray for $10?  Is it PC compatible?
A few more questions, Mr. Computer.
A fool and his computer are soon parted.
A keyboard is no substitute for a pillow!
A keyboard... how quaint. -- Scotty
A KGB keyboard has no <ESC> key!
A little LAN will do it!
A little red button awaits to be pushed !
A Macintosh a day keeps Apple Happy and Rich!
A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
A man's computer room is his castle.
A modem in every computer!
A pound of Flex-ex and a blasting cap cures hacking.
A VAX is virtually a computer, but not quite.
ABACUS....Binary the easy way :-)
Ad from 2010: Pentium PC for sale, am switching to gas heat.
AFK = away from keyboard
Airbags won't help...when this machine crashes!
All I did was press E-N-T-E-R, like the screen said!?!?
All the world's a stage, and ... ... "Line! ... LINE!"
All we are, basically, are monkeys with car keys.
All wight. Rho sritched my keytups awoand?
All wiyht.  Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Almost any program runs faster on a 486/50.
Amiga: The computer for the creative mind.
Amiga: The cutting edge of excellence!
And a great whirling and a bashing of keys arose.
And hold the shift key down, press the arrow keys.
And I'll try not to sing out of key...
And now a word from the NULL device.
And the RESET button lets you re-run AUTOEXEC.BAT
And then Jack pressed the ctrl key...
And then she pressed the ctrl key...
And then this novice asked me where the "any" key was!
And you hold the key to my life.
Another good day; the computer is still working!
Any computer equipment, when running correctly, is obsolete.
ANY KEY will initiate hard drive format. Continue? Y or N
Any key? Any key? I doan see no stinkin' Any key!
APATHY ERROR! Don't bother to strike any key...
Apathy error: Strike any key, or none. Who cares!
Apathy Tagline: Don't bother hitting a key to continue.
Apples? Apricots? This industry is full of Fruits!
Applied emotion is the key to success with happiness.
Are you a computer friendly user?
Are you glad to see me or is that just a computer in your pocket?
ARGGGH! I will not go off-topic.... [prying hands off keyboard]
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.
Assembler lesson #1: POP AX is NOT an electric guitar!
AU$@#%^&46F*HEY CAT! <<SMACK>>...and stay OFF the keyboard!
A_ny M_achine as I_ndescribable - G_reat A_dvance!
Baby, you're the key to my ignition.
Backup not found: (P) Panic (Any Other Key) Panic.
Bad COMMAND! BAAADD COMMAND! Sit! STAYYYYY!
BAK = back at keyboard
Bang on the LEFT side of your computer to restart Windows.
Bash any key, and put this puppy out of my wife's misery.
Be careful with that Del key, or you'll put an I out!
Be careful, don't get my keyboard all GUI
Be sure to use DEVICE=EXXON to screw up your environment.
Behind every good computer - is a jumble of cables!
Being keys themselves, their keylessness does not matter.
Best Cheeseburger #10: Margaritaville, Key West Florida.
BIT: Past tense of BYTE.
Boot in the root! BAT in a FAT! Backup,backup,DAT,DAT,DAT
Break up a relationship - buy a computer!!
But honey, I need a new Pentium server so I can reboot faster.
But Honey, you NEED Super VGA to run a database.
But I don't have an "any key" on my computer!
But which one is the fatherboard?
But you and me, we got the kingdom, we got the key...
Buy a 486-33 you can reboot faster..
Buy a IBM.  It can do SOMETHING right.
Buy a Mac.  It can do SOMETHING right.
Buy me a 486DX4/100 with 64 MB RAM, and a 2.4 GB HDD and I'll shut-up!
By keyboard has as bad code.
By: Trial and re-boot
C:\> SWEEP ECHO Y|DEL *.* <����
C:\WINDOWS\RUN  C:\WINDOWS\CRASH  C:\COMPUTER\FRY
Calm down. It's only ones and zeros.
Candy on keyboard. Delete children (Y/N)?
Careful planning is the key to safe and swift travel.
CAT (n.): 1. Furry keyboard cover. 2. Alarm clock.
CAT (n.): 1. Furry keyboard cover. 2. Fur ball puker
Cat + unattended keyboard = garbage all over screen.
Cat Problem: Picking hair off your keyboard.
Cat: Furry keyboard cover.
Cause that's the way the computer crumbles.
CAUTION! I've been drinking and am at the keyboard again.
CGA is the pallete from hell
Chastity Belt is here. Do you have the right key?
Chernobyl used MACs
Chips: What the crumbs on the keyboard used to be.
Click mousie...Drag mousie...KILL! KILL! KILL! Muwwahahahah!
Clogbytes: The holed edges of computer paper that jam up when printing.
Close your eyes and press escape three times.
Coffee boiler: Place cup on Pentium, compute Pi using both 586 587 units.
Coinophony: Pocket concerts conducted by people jiggling keys, etc.
Coming soon: Netware for the Nintendo!
COMMAND:  A suggestion made to a computer.
Competition makes great programs!
CompuFreud: Sometimes an Esc key is only an Esc key.
Computer (com-pyoo-ter) n.-Incredibly fast idiot!
Computer cleaning tool: at c:> type del c:\*.* [y], do same at d:>
Computer come on line: 'Hey Baby, #########'<--Crude, very crude ;-)
Computer Geek Modem Romance - On Oprah!!!
Computer hackers do it all night long.
Computer illiteracy?  You mean my computer's supposed to READ?
Computer illiterate and DAMN PROUD OF IT!
Computer Lies #7: WordStar? Nobody uses THAT anymore.
Computer Make Very Fast, Very Accurate Mistakes..
Computer missing, notify SysOp!
Computer models of computer conferences.
Computer not found! Please notify tagline!
Computer protected by a PIT BULL with AIDS!
Computer reports:  SNAFU - Situation Normal, All Fouled Up.
Computer SEX - where software becomes hardware.
Computer spelled MOST ways is AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!
Computer users take more strokes.
Computer virus: Electronic Microorganism.
Computer widow seeks companion - non-programmer!
Computer... Smoke... Uhh Ohh
Computer: a device designed to drive human beings insane.
Computer: a device for generating mistakes at high speed.
Computer: a million morons working at the speed of light.
Computer: Everything Murphy wanted and more.
Computers All Wait at the Same Speed!
Computers also eliminate spare time.
Computers and Fandom - There's got to be cheaper hobbies!!
Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are
Computers are Saving Man??? Does not Compute
Computers ARE the future. Oh the future looks grim!
Computers are tools, but AMIGAS are finely tuned instruments!
Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.
Computers are unreliable, but humans are more unreliable.
Computers are useless, they only give answers.
Computers are useless; they can only give answers.
Computers Are Vehicles For The Mind... They'll Drive You Crazy!
Computers byte and run.
Computers can never replace human stupidity.
Computers don't drink: it's against their bar code.
Computers don't get mad...they get even! [FILE NOT FOUND]
Computers don't make mistakes, but foolish people do.
Computers ELIMINATE spare time!!
Computers just make me seem smarter!
Computers make excellent and efficient servants...
Computers Make Very Fast, Very Accurate Mistakes..
Computers never crash, though they occasionally explode for no reason.
Computers operators do it from memory.
Computers rule 10110101 11100101
Computers run on faith, not electrons.
Computers run on smoke.  If it leaks out it won't work
Computers will become self-aware entities if struck by lightning.
Computers.....the #1 cause of divorces......
Computing is a terminal disease.....
Computing is one of the terminal diseases.
Computing power increases as the square of the cost.
Confident manner IS important: Computers can sense this!
Confucius say, -- "Man who abuse his computer get bad bytes!"
Confucius say: Cat who walk on keyboard wind up in Chinese wok!!!
Could I borrow a cup of sugar and a few megs of RAM?
CPU - Random number generator
CPU Pickup Line: (p(, (What's your MHZ?)
CPU time flies when you're having fun.
CURSOR: What you become when your system crashes.
Cyberdine Systems, by which others will be judged.
Cyberpunk (si'-ber-punk) n. - a computer with an attitude
cyberpunk (SY-ber-punk): n.  A computer with an attitude.
d;naveornv. Oops, Sorry, fell asleep on the keyboard.
Daddy, what does RESET mea
DANGER! DANGER! Computer Store Ahead, Hide Wallet.
Danger! Human at keyboard.
Darn, my CPU is always craming my CMOS with RAMs
Death has the key to open the miser chest. <African (Ashanti)>
DEFINITION: Math Chip- A piece of a broken abacus.
Del *.* Are you sure (Y/N) y.. NO! NO! OH SHIT!!!!
Depress key to test. <click...> Release key to detonate.
Did you install the Write Only Memory?
Disks travel in packs.
Do device drivers need a chauffeur's license?
Do small blue hackers call CompuSmurf?
Do something unusual today.  Accomplish work on the computer.
Do they sell air bags for computer crashes?
Do you ever get the feeling that the computer is pushing YOUR button?
Do you think binary? 0 or 1?
Do you trust your ROM to make decisions?
DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHAT A 'cAPS lOCK' KEY IS?
Does anyone know where I can get a '587?
Don wanna work, wanna bang keyboard all day!
Don't ask me where the keys are. You had them last.
Don't bother pushing that key, there is no escape.
Don't bother striking any key.
Don't by an XT. Just use a Mac
Don't hit the keys so hard, it hurts.
Don't leave home without a portable computer!
Don't Panic. Just push the Reset button.
Don't press any key to continue.
Don't press the keys so damned hard!
Don't put all your EXE's in one backup!
Don't raise your Caps Lock at me!
Don't touch that keyboard. We'll be right back.
Don't use our trashcan, it's only for apples!
Don't you just LOVE these little machines??
DOS gets in your eyes!
DOS to DOS, disk to disk, file to file.
DOS: Tells a computer what to do with itself!
Drive C:\ formatting...  Press any key to continue...
DV has a KB mouse: BigFatHairy Deal!
Eat when hungry, drink when thirsty, hack whenever
Elusikey: The key that is invariably lost in the bottom of a purse.
Emasculate your computer with UNIX!
Engage brain before touching keyboard.
ERROR 0032: KEYBOARD NOT RESPONDING! Use Hammer? (Y/N)
ERROR 0076: Check nut on keyboard
ERROR 0301: Keyboard not found - Press F1 to continue.
ERROR 3F2C: Replace nut behind keyboard.
ERROR D3F2: Replace user and press any key to continue.
ERROR IN BIOS - Press any key to reboot...
ERROR IN ROM - Press any key to self-destruct...
ERROR: COMPUTER POSSESSED. LOAD EXOR.SYS? (Y/N)
ERROR: FAILED! Press any key to resume error.
ERROR: Fingers Not Ready. Bang Head On Keyboard To Continue.
ERROR: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
ERROR: Smash face against keyboard to continue..
Eve had an Apple, Adam had a Wang...
Every little BYTE helps
Execute program code from Write Only Memory.
Falling asleep at the keyboard is called a head crash.
Famous Last Words: Only had a couple beers; gimme my car keys.
FATAL ERROR! Mac user detected! Entering stupid mode...
Fatal mouse error. (B)ury or (R)eplace?
FILES=1  BUFFERS=0  FCBS=SAYWHAT  BREAK=GIMME
Fingers not found - Pound head on keyboard to continue.
Firmware:  Software with permanent bugs hardwired into it
FIRMWARE: Hardware that is starting to melt.
First, we'll kill all the programmers
Floppy Joe: Home Computer addict
Folks who like Macs usually got a deep discount.
Fondle any key to continue!!!
For sale cheap:   Write-only memory chips.
For THIS I bought a computer?
For warm boot, put computer in dryer for 20 minutes.
For what it's worth!!!!
Forget the computer!  Where's my abacus??
Forty-two, said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.
Freddy Kruger lives in your CPU Stack, ....Nightie
Friends don't let friends buy Tandy Computers.
Friends don't let friends drive Macintoshes!
Gee, I wonder what this key does.
Get gun.  Shoot computer.  Turn off lights...
Get the Legion Of Doom on Iraq's computers!
Getting booted is not as bad as confusing your hot keys. - Taltos
Girlfriend? Yep, a 25 Mhz 486 with 256k cache!
Great Gobs o' goose grease!  A computer
Ground yourself, THEN hug your motherboard!
Guard! Guard! Get this hacker off my board.
Guess who taught me to use a computer...?
GUI's, We have to use those extra Mhz's somehow!
H lp!  S m b d  st l  ll th  v w ls fr m m  k yb  rd!
Hack, hack, hack, hack, eat, sleep.  Hack, Hack...
Hackers do it with key strokes.
hackers do it with PEEKing and POKEing
Hackers don't do it--they're hacking all the time.
Had a life once.  Now I have a computer.
Happiness is a computer with a good sense of humor.
Happiness is usually measured in GigaBytes.
Hardware - The part you kick.
Hardware hackers do it on a bus.
Hardware hackers do it with male connectors.
Hardware: The part you kick. Software: this you corrupt!
Hardware: The part you lick.
Hardware: The parts of a computer you can kick.
Harmonicas play skeleton keys in the rain.
hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
Have the computer beep me, when it is ready.
Have you typed on an Amiga lately?
He types in Esperanto on his Dvorak keyboard...
He who holds the key also will hold a couple of other...
He's a few bits short of a bus!
Help !!! I have lost my ANY key!
Help cure dreaded Computer Addiction, send software.
Help me I've fallen and I can't reach reach my keyboard.
Help me, my operator is pulling my plu �՟���� NO CARRIER
Help! I can't find the "ANY" key.
Help! My computer is holding me prisoner...
Help! My keyboard is stuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
HELP!! PaPa Smurf In My CPU Died...
HELP!!!! This computer is taking over my life!!!!
Help.  I'm trapped at 0D1C:01DA.
Hey hacker, leave that modem alone.
HEY LOOK, Ifix xedthat    spaceb arprob lem. - oh da   mn.
HEY LOOK, Ifixxedthat spacebarproblem. ohdarn.
Hey!  Your Trakball is upside down!
Hey! Stop Playing with my memory!
Hey, Frank, can I borrow your keys? Sure! Thanks! -MST3K
Hey, there's no "ANY" key on this keyboard!
Hey, where can I get a father board?
Hey, who spilled coffee on my keyboard?
Hi, my name is Annie Key. Please don't hit me!
High_End_Mac = Yugo_With_A_SuperCharger
History: Do you remember keypunch cards? Y = Retire.
Hit @#$*;/ to abort. Hit any other key to format C.
Hit any key except +UX+b  NO CARRIER
Hit Any Key to Continue - SMASH!!!! (OOPS)
Hit any Key to Continue or Any Other Key to Quit
Hit any key to continue... any other key to format C:
Hmmm.. what's this red button fo������NO CARRIER
Home is where the computer is plugged in!
Honestly, Doctor...this hand came out of the monitor..
How about some more "KEY" Tags?
How do you determine the sex of a computer?
How does it make you feel when someone presses that key?
How long before we're as dumb as computers?
How many babies can a motherboard have?
How to multitask MS-DOS: Run PCTask twice on a Amiga!
How ya going to do it?  IBM Blue it!
How's hacking, chiphead?
HUH!  Me ???  THE COMPUTER DID IT!!!
I *HATE* it when my serial port goes Snap Crackle Pop!
I am a computer.  As such I never have or will make a mistake or error!
I am Dvorak of Keyborg. Resistance is Qwerty.
I am Qwerty of Keyborg. Lett'er be assimilated.
I am so impressed I could return my meal to the keyboard.
I BOOTED my computer. Broke my toe!
I bought a computer to save time ..
I built my own 486!  See where I nailed it together?
I call my computer "Hole in the Desk"
I can name that file in TWO bytes!
I can't believe my computer's on fire.
I can't scream for HELP! My F1 key is racing: in Monaco.
I do not fear computers.  I fear the lack of them.
I don't have the time for a hobby.  I have a computer.
I don't use an Amiga myself
I even reformatted it, but I still can't read my file?!
I gave up on my wife, and married my computer.
I got this neat key oard in a yard sale, ugger's got no   key.
I gotta find Jimmy Hoffa. He has my car keys.
I hacked mainframes before there were pc's!
I Had A Life Once, Now I Have A Computer
I have PROOF aliens are among us - LOOK AT THE MACINTOSH!
I have seen your capslock key, and it's not pretty...
I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
I know my computer likes me... it shared an IRQ.
I like the 486 tower.  Does it come in red?
I like to enter messages from the Asylum computer.
I locked my coathanger in my car; good thing I had a key.
I love my computer. It's made in Taiwa~##$ ` #@
I mentioned my 'Hard drive' and she giggled expectantly.
I multitask, I use *all* my fingers on the keyboard.
I never knew lasers could be printed.
I only play with my computer on days that end in "Y."
I only wish my mouth had a BACKSPACE key!
I plead not guilty by reason of computer-induced insanity.
I push the TURBO button on my PC REAL hard whenever I'm in a hurry.
I pushed the "delete" key, and my computer vanished!
I sped up my keyboard & I can't keep up with it!
I sped up my keyboard and I can't keep up with it!
I still can't find that $# %* <ANY> key!
I think he's a couple keys short of a concert piano.
I used to be normal, then I got my computer...
I used to have a life -- now I have RIME & my AMIGA!!!
I used to have a savings account - now I have a computer system.
I wish scripts would do what I think I tell them
I wonder what THIS key does...OOPS!
I wrote my own benchmark, my machine is now 500MHz
I [ ] My Dog. I [ ] My Cat. I [L] My Keyboard.
I'd Rather Be Computing Than COMMUTING!
I'm a 10th generation A.I. holographic computer. I'm not your Mum!
I'm buying the first reader that uses the *any* key to swipe Taglines.
I'm in the computer business, I make Out-Of-Order signs.
I'm just putting your cat out, Dear. (Through the keyhole.)
I'm not a computer nerd; merely a Computer Jock.
I'm so disorganized my keyboard isn't even in alphabetical order!
I'm waiting for the 50 mhz 686.
I've crashed and I can't boot up!
I've got the key to success. Of course, I'm cess.
I've got two computers ... Can I breed them?
I've lost my 'X' key!!!!
I@love~my$computer,;It's%made in Taiwa~##$ ` #@
IBM - Incredible Bloody Machine
IBM : International Bubblegum Machines.
IBM had a PL/I, Its syntax worse than JOSS; And everywhere this language wen
IBM is 99.8% compatible...With Compaq 386 Pro
IBM PS/1 - The EDLIN of Computers!
IBM PS/1 ?  - A Prodigy Workstation !
IBM stands for "Inferior But Marketable"
IBM----- Indecipherable Bullshit Managment
IBM:  It's Broken, Man
IBM: I've Been Misled
IBM: Inveigled By Microsoft.
IBM: It may be slow, but at least it's expensive.
IBM: U can buy better, but U can't pay more
IBM: you can buy better, but you can't pay more
IBMs, MacIntoshes, and Amigas, ... but mostly IBMs.
Idiot on the keyboard error
If (computer_store_ahead=TRUE) hide_wallet();
If 4 bits = a nibble; 8 = a byte, doesn't 16 = a mouthful?
If all else fails, blame the computer!
If at first you don't succeed, blame the computer!
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee
If it works, don't mess with it. <-That's the key!
If only my computer could cook...
If something has to go down on me, why does it have to be my computer?
If Speed scares you, use a Mac!
If you could be any key you want, which one would it be?
If you don't have monitor hooked up ... Press any key.
If you want to crash your MAC, you don't need to try too hard.
Ignorance error: Press any key... What's a key?
In case of fire, rescue computer.
IN THE COMPUTER ROOM, no one can hear you SCREAM!
In the computer world, every little bit helps.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
Insert disk 5 of 4 and press any key to continue.
Insert disk in drive C: and press any key when ready.
Insufficient memory for Macintosh users.
Intel Inside - Idiot Outside
INTEL would've flunked Computer Architecture 101!
Is a  PC a symbol of Immaculate Contraption?
Is it just me, or is my monitor breathing?
Is that a Pentium II or a power amplifier?
Is that the *ANY* key in your pocket? Or are ya just glad to see me?
It was a total loss.
It's nothing a warm-boot can't fix
It's so slow that FOR I=1 TO 2:NEXT I takes 6 weeks.
It's so slow, by the time your game boots up the sequel is already out!
Ithinkmyspacebarstoppedworking.
John Tesh on the keyboards. -- Joel Robinson
Just in from Heloise: Diet Coke DOES clean keyboards!
Just pretend it's a VAX.
Just washed my computer and can't do a thing with it!
Just why did IBM make the Scroll-Lock ?
Keep your hands on the keyboard...
KEYBOARD - Hardware used to enter errors into a computer.
Keyboard error or no keyboard, F1 to continue.
Keyboard Error: Think F1 to continue.
Keyboard Fouled Up Beyond All Recognition: Keyboard FUBAR.
Keyboard is unattached.  Press F10 to continue
Keyboard locked..Press F1 to continue
Keyboard not attached.Press F10 to continue
Keyboard not found.  Press F1 to continue.
Keyboard not found...THINK F1 to continue.
Keyboard not functioning.  Press F1 to continue.
Keyboard not responding! Press any key ....
Keyboard not responding! Press any key to contine
Keyboard: a device for entering mistakes into a computer.
Keyboard: device used to enter errors into the computer.
Kuma Satra makes my keys quiver!!
Lady hacker with breast implants: Virtual mammaries.
Lap-Top: Smaller and lighter than the average secretary
Last one out turn on the UPS.
Lifestyles of the rich and PC compatible.
Listen to the rhythm of crashing hard drives
Listen to the rhythm of the failing bits...
Lizzie Borden.... America's FIRST hacker!
Local Bus....taking us all for a ride!!!
Locked coathanger in car; good thing I had a key.
Long live the C64! G-g-guys? I was only kiddin, <BANG!!>
Look, mom: No keyboard!
Loose nut on keyboard -- system halted.
Love my 386/33 . . . Thank God my wife isn't that fast!
Mac - a computer for those who can't handle reality
Mac Classic: The COPY CON of Computers!
Mac detected entering network...Kill it? (Y/HELL YEAH!)
Mac screen message: "Like, dude, something went wrong."
Mac, adj. The excuse for not wanting to learn computing.
Mac: An Etch-A-Sketch you don't have to shake
Macintosh - when you need your software spoon-fed to you.
Macintosh error message:  Like, dude, something went wrong or something.
Macintosh error message: "Weird disk error"
Macintosh font imitation #127:  SaN fRaNcIsCo
MacIntosh... Your nightmares come true!
Macintosh:  An etch-a-sketch you don't have to shake.
Macintosh:  Computing as designed by Rube Goldberg.
Macintosh:  The only computer for which a keyboard is optional.
MacIntosh: Computer with training wheels you can't remove.
MACINTOSH: Machine Always Crashes, If Not, The OS Hangs!
MacIntosh:Computer With Training Wheels You Cant Remove
Macs are too dumb to understand what a virus is!
Macs make great paperweights.
Mail packet: Dehydrated letters, just add computer!
Make like keys and get lost.
Make me an offer. I have a computer to support!!
Man who lose key to girlfriend's house get no new-key.
MANIAC - An early computer built by nuts.
Manual's out, after all possible keystrokes have failed.
May your computer grow ears and start listening.
May your computer grow hands and massage your feet.
MCCC Rule #1: Only wake the commander for key-turn.
Melted Fruit Snacks On Keyboard. Delete Children (Y/N)?
Member ACNE Anonymous Computer Nerds Eclectic
Memory Manager:  Something I need more than my computer.
Memory parity error - Turn computer on and off 12 times
Mi Amiga es no mas.
Missing keyboard. Think F1 to continue.
Moderator: Burned out shell of a computer hobbyist.
Mountain Dew spilled on keyboard. Delete teenagers [Y/n]?
MOUSE.COM not found. (U)se keyboard (B)ury (G)ive to cat
MOUSE: Species of Rodent known to inhabit computers.
Movie about transvestite supercomputers: "The Craying Game"
My 386 does an infinite loop in 4.68 sec.
My 486 is delayed due to MINOR brain surgery.
My BACKUP computer is a Cray.
My cat ate my mouse, and now I am stuck with arrow keys.
My computer at work has a Pentium. Look for the glow in the horizon...
My computer even came with a driver's side air bag.
My computer has a nut loose on the keyboard.
My computer has EMS....Wont you help?
My computer just won't stop talking.
My computer NEVER loc
My computer's getting jealous.... of the time I spend with my wife.
My computer's sick and I think my modem is a carrier
My computer's sick. I think my modem is a carrier.
My Go  amn keyboar  oesn't have any  's!
My Go ! Someone's swipe the ` ' key from my keyboar !
My keyboard doesn't have any vowels on it!
My keyboard keeps changing what I type.
My keyboard keeps changing what I type. <-Yeah, sure.
My keyboard lacks an "Any" key :(
My keyboard never loc
My machine ain't old!  Relays still do the job....
My maid doesn't do windows, neither does my computer
My mouse only has one ball too!
My other computer is a 286, so I use this one instead.
My other computer is a 486.
My other computer is a 60MHz Pentium.
My other computer is a 786/250 with a 250 Gb hard drive.
My other computer is a abacus.
My other computer is a biochip.
My other computer is a Cray.
My other computer is a HoloDeck(tm).
My other computer is a holodeck.
My other computer is a piece of crap, too.
My other computer is a toy (Better known as an MS-DOS clone).
My other computer is a VAX.
My other computer is also a boat anchor.
My other computer is an 80643437647386.
My other computer is an Amiga too!....
My other computer is an answering machine!
My other computer is an F-14's targeting system.
My other computer is an M5 unit.
My other computer is another Amiga.
My other computer is busy calculating jump maps.
My other computer is busy controling my shuttle's warp drive.
My other computer is even slower.
My other computer is junk too.
My other computer is...  fried.
My other computer just does 2000 MIPS and functions as my stove/oven.
My other computer looks JUST like Brent Spiner.
My other dinosaur is a Tyrannosaur.
My printer is REALLY fast in daft mode!
My system goes down more than a $10 whore!
My XT's not slow, it just takes it's time!
Myth #1: The computer only does what you tell it.
Narrow minded: Looks through keyhole with 2 eyes.
Navigation error: Where is the keyboard?
Need birth control? Buy a computer.
Networks should be labeled NOT-WORKS!!!
Never trust a computer you cannot carry.
New ASM opcode #004: APX Apply Power and eXplode.
New Computer---- to be superseded as soon as it's installed
New Intel opcode #005 ROAD: Roll over and die
New Intel opcode #006 CHOKE: Compare hot opcode key ending
New Intel opcode #007 PUKE: Put unmeaningful keywords everywhere
New Intel opcode #008 DIE: Delete instruction entry
New Intel opcode #010 PDASORN: Power down and shut off right now
New punishment for illegal hackers; chain them to a Vic-20.
New use for old Pentiums - Hot plate.
Nice computers don't crash.
Nice computers don't go down.
No honey, it's only a computer, PLEASE put down the gun..
No liberals = no progress = no computers = no BBSs.
No wanna go ta school. Wanna bang on keyboard all day.
No wanna work.  Wanna bang on keyboard.
NO! It's MY keyboard! Get AWAY! Get your OWN!!!!
NO! NO! don't push THAT key!  AIIIGGGGGHHHHH!
NO, MY CAPS LOCK KEY ISN'T MALFUNCTIONING, I'M SCREAMING!
No, no ! "any" is not a special key to continue.
NOT THERE!! Auugggh...the cat sat on the keyboard and erased this!
NOW, you can press the other key to continue...
Of course games are a computers REAL task.
Oh give me a cray... Where the numbers play..
Oh, come on. That Tagline up there comes from the computer game.
Oh, heck ... I pressed the wrong key ...
Oh,great.Nowmydamnspacebarwon'twork.
Okthat'sit,whotookmyspacebar?
Old computers make great boat anchors.
OLD KEY PUNCH OPERATORS never die, they just punch out.
Old MacDonald had a computer, with EIA I/O...
Old Virus detected, contact your hacker for an update.
One of my other computers is parked in orbit.
Only Amiga makes it possible.
Only Amiga makes it possible. - Commodore Amiga
Only half a key. I had to split it with the sound effects man.
Only XT users know that 1-Jan-1980 is a Tuesday!
OOPS! Hit the wrong F'ing key again...
OPCODE: DMPK = Destroy Memory Protect Key
Open the door, sit in the seat, turn the key and go!
Optical mice have no balls.
Optimist: Amiga computer salesman with a pager.
Optimist: Commodore computer salesperson with a pager.
Our computer doesn't know you, and you've come a day too late.
Our new keyboard even has an ANY key!
Oxymoron: Clean hack
PATH=harddrive;drawer;desktop;pocket;boxincloset;boxunder...
PATH=harddrive;drawer;desktop;pocket;boxincloset;underbed
PC & taglines under final tests.
PCs are OK except when you use them as bowling balls.
PEBCAK: Problem exists between chair and keyboard.
PEBKAC: "Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair."
Pentium III: Do not plug in for fire will occur.
Pentiums: Finally useful multitasking (Cooking, Computing).
People are boring. Computers are fun.
Personal hygiene is the key to success ---W. Nels
Pick a key. Now press it to continue.
Pilot error: Keyboard went flying.
Play with my keys, pleaaase!
Please call IBM. I believe my computer's on fire.
Please insert disk in drive C: and press any key...
Politically correct DOS: Ask any key if it wants to be hit.
Pound forehead on keyboard to continue.
Press +<Oan to retain files, or any other key to reformat C:
Press any key - i.e. the key with "ANY" on it.
Press any key if no keyboard is present................?
Press any key if you hate Windows.
Press any key to continue or any other key to <Q>uit
Press any key to continue or any other key to format C:
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit
Press any key to continue | <click> | Except that one...
Press any key to continue. (No, not THAT one!)
Press any key to continue; No starch, please!
Press any key to continue? But I cant find the ANY key!
PRESS ANY KEY TO ENTER TERMINAL MODE
Press any key to explode computer.
Press any key to hang-up, press the Frak key to go cancel.
Press any key to initiate auto-destruct sequence.
Press any key to Low-Level Format HD.
Press any key to ruin your life.
Press any key... NO!... except that one.
Press any key... no, No NO NOT THAT ONE!!!!!!!!
Press F13 to continue
Press the *any* key not just any key to see more Taglines.
Press [ESC] to detonate or any other key to explode .
PS/2 it?  PS/on it too.
Psych Error: Press the key that means the most to you.
Psychic Error: You know what key to press.
PUSSY G.....IN THE KEY OF OOOOOOOOOOOOOrgasm.....
PUT THE COMPUTER DOWN, HONEY..I'm quitting NOW!
Q: 386+387?       A: 486-8K
RAM = Rarely Adequate Memory
Random Access Memory (RAM) - When it feels like it
Real hackers never make typso.
Real hackers' method: COPY CON: PROGRAM.EXE
Real Users never use the Help key.
Reality is for people who can't handle computers.
Redundant book title: "MS-DOS For Dummies"
Remember who has control of the DEL key!
Remote computing does not mean a mouse with a 9 foot cord.
ROM instruction: (R)ead (O)perators (M)ind.
ROM: Randomly Operational Memory. Usually.
S met ing's hap ening t  my k ybo rd . .
Sanity.com Corrupted: Loading imaginary.com instead!
Save this Tagline. It is the key to the universe.
Saw the new Pentium File Servers, Look like cenral heating units!
SCAN: Windows found! Press any key to erase.
Sealed With A Key Stroke: "*S*W*A*K*S*"
Serious.com corrupted. Loading Silly.com instead!
Serve The Computer!
shift key/ never heard of it1111
Six megs, two monitors, and an attitude
Skeleton at Keyboard: Overuse of Windoze.
Skeleton at keyboard: Still waiting on Windows.
Smash head on keyboard to continue.
Smile! You could have married a Redheaded Computer Hater!
So wadda ya' want for 10,395 bucks, buddy? A 486i?
So why did they go from PS/2 to PS/1???
So, where IS the <ANY> key?
SOMEBODY HELP ME!!! My Keyboard Died!!!
Someone Pressed the [Undo] Key of Love
Sometime I wish *life* had an ESCAPE key!
Sorry. The cat jumped up on the keyboard.
SQWERTY - Computer keyboard sized down for use by children.
SQWERTY -- Child sized Keyboards
Sure I multitask! I use *all* my fingers on the keyboard!
Sure, I've got my ATP! Now wheres the keys for this thing?
Sysop: Descendant of Aesop with a keyboard.
Sysop: Hands on keyboard, head sleeping on monitor.
System Error: Press F13 to continue.
System halted - Press any key to do nothing.
SYSTEM HALTED. Press all keys at once to continue.
System halted: Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
System Posessed: Hit F666 to continue...
System Possessed: Hit F777 for exorcism...
T --- The most commonly used Key in OLX.
T --- The most commonly used key in SLMR
Talk about memory, this system includes a sense of guilt.
Temperament is the key to maintaining a tranquil mind.
That keyboard may have a lack of intelligence at the other end.
That wasn't my typo, the keyboard went Devorak on me.
The "Any" key? See the red one in the back marked "power"?
The 486SX: Intel's test of your gullibility
The ANY key? It's that button marked `RESET'.
The best location for a Caps Lock key is nailed to the wall!
The best way to accelerate a Mac is at -9.8 m/s/s
The best way to accelerate an MS-DOS clone is at -9.8 m/s/s
The Blue Wave packets are not in the main computer.
tHE cAPS-lOCK kEY dOESN'T ever ACT UP!!!!
The computer is incredibly fast, accurate, and stupid....
The Computer is Watching.
The fewer keystrokes it takes the better!!!
tHE fIRST sTEP iS tO tAKE oFF tHE cAPS lOCK.
The key is kind of central to this piece... -- Crow T. Robot
The key to success: forgetting you screwed up before.
The keyboard is mightier than the Moderator.
The keyboard... how quaint. -- Scotty
The last sound that it made was "Zap" .
The machine that goes...BING!
The name will be: PENTIUM, The price will be: PLENTIUM.
The only brain-dead 286 chips are made by Intel...
The only good caps locks key is a broken caps locks key!
The PS/2 Mod 50 was designed on a Monday.
The same 2 keys are used to do everything
The Twit Key: Three steps faster than the Moderator.
Theater: Holding a mirror up to a keyhole.
There are two solutions - hardware or software.
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
There was this door to which I found no key.
There were computers in Biblical times. Adam had a Wang.
There were computers in Biblical times. Eve had an Apple.
There were plagues of locusts, and frogs, and PC clones.
There's a nut loose on my keyboard...I've been told it's me.
There's nothing wrong with my keyboard. There's n&%)$^%@!
Think of it!  With VLSI we can pack 100 ENIACs in 1 sq. cm.!
Think you got it bad. My other PC is an Osborne.
This *is* my other computer.
This is a hired computer. Our CRAY-1 is at the analyst's.
This message was written in the Key of H-Flat.
This message was written with recycleable keystrokes.
This mouse is loaded, who's the designated driver?
This Tagline has a security lock... But where is the key?
This tagline is made only for 386 machines.
This Tagline only uses recycled keystrokes.
Thou shall not sleep within an interrupt handler.
Throw the keyboard out the window to continue...
To err is human, to really mess, buy an PC clone.
To err is human. To really screw up it takes a computer.
To establish voice contact, please yell into keyboard.
To exit Chat Mode, press the `POWER' key.
To stop your computer from going down, marry it!
Tolkien Ring is the promised LAN for hobbits.
Tonight on the gourmet channel, cooking with the new Pentium...
True Multitasking = 3 PCs and a chair with wheels!
Trying to establish voice contact--please yell into keyboard.
TTTTTTTTTTT: My T key is stuck.
Turn off computer: SHUT-DOWN.  Turn on computer: SHUT-UP?
Turn the key off...your mouth is still running!
Two Atari ST's ??     You have Bookends, very nice.
Two ROMs don't make a write
Typed on my Ultra Megger Wallet Whammer.
U steala my Tagline, I breaka your keyboard!
Uh, oh, looks like time to upgrade already...
Uhh, 4500 megs, 18 megahertz, yeah, thats it...
Ultimate office automation:  Networked coffee machines!
Upgraded my network last week.  Yep, new Reeboks!
URA Redneck if you prefer car keys to Q-tips.
User - a technical term used by computer pros. See idiot.
USER ERROR: Replace and strike any key when ready. <g>
USER ERROR: Replace user and press any key to continue.
Users never appreciate computers, until their down
Users never appreciate computers, until they're down.
Virtual: not knowing where your next byte is coming from.
VLSI:  "Getting High On Low Voltage"
VM/CMS: Operating system for the scroll-phobic.
V_o^o_V  Things that go Bump on the Keyboard.
W el l,  I  f ou n d th e s  pac  e b a   r
W/Windows and $3000 in hardware, you can emulate an Amiga, sorta.
Wanna Buy A Rubber Computer?
Want to save money every month?  Throw out the computer!
Wanted: 386DX Fatherboard to have SX with my Motherboard.
Warning - Inserting keyboard in mouth can cause a short.
Warning! Monitor Coolant low. add 1 cup here ^
Warning! The 'esc' key doesn't work in Leavenworth...
We hack, crack, and pirate all sorts of Public Domain software.
We've got computers,we're tapping phone lines
Well...my cray is in the shop.
WHAT "any" key!?!?
What did one computer say to the other computer?
What do people do with computers and no modem?
What do you mean 'the computer LIKES CHEESE?!
What does Keyboard Time expired mea
What the heart feels comes right out of the keyboard.
wHAT'S A CAPSLOCK KEY?
What's more dangerous than a firefight, A COP ON A KEYBOARD!
what'sthebigkeyatthebottomfor?
What?!?  DOSSHELL *isn't* supposed to be a joke?
When all else fails, push the machine off the table.
When can I give DOS the boot?
When is a mouse a rat? When it eats memory!
When the going gets tough, hit the F1 key for help.
When you're really in doubt, press RESET.
Wher'd you git that CPU? Out of a Crackerjack box?
Where can I buy the Chia-pet computer ??
WHeRe is ThaT DArN ShIfT keY?
wHERE iS tHE cAPS lOCK kEY
Where keeping crumbs out of the keyboard is an art-form.
Where's the brake on this thing?
Which one is the "any" key? "That Big red Switch"
Who has been fooling around with my computer?
Who's the designated driver? This mouse is loaded.
Why not just press enter for a few days?
Why upgrade to Pentium? The rest of the system can't keep up!
Window Error 0017: Keyboard locked. Try anything you can think of.
Windows UKD: Unexplained Keyboard Destructions
Windows: Proof that Microsoft has a roomful of monkeys with keyboards.
Wow my XT almost keeps up with my typing.
WYPIWYG= What You Printed Is What You've Got.
XT computer, just missing Monitor/video card/keyboard/motherboard/case/HDD
XT or AT, it makes a big difference.
Ye shalt not ask where the "Any" key is!
Ye shalt not insert thy fist into the computer screen!
Yes, Dear, I'll Get Off The Computer In Just A Minute!
Yodel in any key to continue.
You are shallower than the diffusion layer of an integrated circuit.
You can't get there from here. It's out back - here's the key.
You don't have a '486 yet?!?!?
You got a brand new pair of roller scates, I got a brand new key.
You have a tendency to feel you are superior to most computers.
You haven't saved? Oh BTW, what's this button next to turbo for?
You know what a core memory really is.
You wish to press a key. Well let's explore that idea.
You're so narrowminded you can see thru a keyhole with both eyes!
Your computer does what?????
Your computer will self-destruct in 5 seconds
Your crt is 2 loud. turn it down!
Your empty file directory has been deleted.
Your motherboard wears combat reboots....
"Work to become, not to acquire." - Confucius
Confucious Say: Seven days on honeymoon make whole week!
Confucius not know what to say!
Confucius say "Never raise hands to children!" It leave groin exposed.
Confucius say Girl, who rides bicycle, peddles it all over town.
Confucius say he who stick head in fruit drink get punch in nose.
Confucius say nothing - Because he's dead!
Confucius say too damn much!
Confucius say wife for life is better than wife for strife.
Confucius say, "Baseball all wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk."
Confucius say, "Don't judge book by cover, but by how thick it is "
Confucius say, "Girl, who rides bicycle, peddles it all over town."
Confucius say, "If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient"
Confucius say, "Look for helping hand on end of own arm."
Confucius say, "Never raise hands to children!" It leave groin exposed."
Confucius say, "Seven days on honeymoon make whole week!"
Confucius Say, "Stop quoting me!"
Confucius say, A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.
Confucius say, Baseball all wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk.
Confucius say, Chemist who fall in acid get absorbed in work.
Confucius say, Couple who make love in strawberries have ass in jam.
Confucius say, Find old man in dark, not hard!
Confucius say, Girl who fly upside down have crack up.
Confucius say, Girl who lay on ground have piece on earth.
Confucius say, Girl who rides bicycle, peddles a$$ all over town.
Confucius say, Girl with back to fire warming whole of her body.
Confucius say, He who chases car will get exhausted.
Confucius say, He who pass gas in church must sit in own pew.
Confucius say, He who put head in punch bowl get punch in nose.
Confucius say, he who sink in woman's arms have arms in woman's sink.
Confucius say, He who stick head in open window gets pane in neck.
Confucius say, He who stick head in oven gets baked bean.
Confucius say, I didn't say that!
Confucius say, Is stuffy inside fortune cookie.
Confucius say, Janitor who clean by day clean bidet today.
Confucius say, Man fly upside down have crack-up!
Confucius say, Man should never straddle barbed wire fences.
Confucius say, Man who abuse his computer get bad bytes!
Confucius say, Man who live in glass house should dress in basement.
Confucius say, Man who meows ate pussy!
Confucius say, Man who pushes piano down mine shaft get A flat miner.
Confucius say, Man who put face in punch bowl get punch in nose.
Confucius say, Man who put foot in mouth ... get athlete's tongue.
Confucius say, man who read woman like book, prefer braille!
Confucius say, Man who stand on toilet is high on Pot.
Confucius say, Many man smoke, but Fu Man Chu.
Confucius say, Never raise hands to children! It leave groin exposed.
Confucius say, place to look for helping hand is end of own arm.
Confucius say, Sh*t happens.
Confucius say, wife for life is better than wife for strife.
Confucius say, woman with cold hands have fire under skirt.
Confucius say... Girl with back to fire warming whole of her body.
Confucius say....Ring on her finger = Ring in your nose
Confucius say..man who read woman like book, prefer braille!
Confucius say: "Blonde who fly upside down have dark hairy crack up."
Confucius say: "He who eats ice cream in car is a Sundae Driver"
Confucius say: "Is more to running BBS than finding ON."
Confucius say: A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.
Confucius say: A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability.
Confucius say: A Watched Tandy Never Boots!
Confucius say: All blonde not blonde by cracky.
Confucius say: All men eat, but Fu Manchu.
Confucius say: America Good Place to Put Chinese Restuarant.
Confucius say: Baby conceived in automatic car shiftless bastard.
Confucius say: Baseball all wrong. Man with 4 balls cannot walk.
Confucius say: Baseball wrong. Man with 4 balls cannot walk.
Confucius say: Cat who walk on keyboard wind up in Chinese wok!!!
Confucius say: Chemist who fall in acid get absorbed in work.
Confucius say: Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Confucius say: Do unto others what you think is funny.
Confucius say: Don't quote me with stupid accent.
Confucius say: Find old man in dark, not hard!
Confucius say: Fly who sit on toilet seat get pissed off.
Confucius say: Girl at bachelor pad for snack get titbit
Confucius say: Girl laid in tomb soon become mommy.
Confucius say: Girl who fly upside down have crack up.
Confucius say: Girl who lay on ground have piece on earth.
Confucius say: Girl who marry detective must kiss dick.
Confucius say: Girl with back to fire warming whole of her body.
Confucius say: He who chases car will get exhausted.
Confucius say: He who dies with the most Taglines, wins.
Confucius say: He who fart in church sit in own pew.
Confucius say: He who pass gas in church must sit in own pew.
Confucius say: He who pull out too fast leave rubber behind.
Confucius say: He who put head in punch bowl get punch in nose.
Confucius say: He who puts face in punch bowl.. get punch in nose.
Confucius say: He who refuses to listen is lying.
Confucius say: He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
Confucius say: He who snorts Coke gets ice-cubes up his nose
Confucius say: He who stick head in open window gets pane in neck.
Confucius say: He who stick head in oven gets baked bean.
Confucius say: He you stand on toilet is high on pot!
Confucius say: House without toilet is uncanny.
Confucius say: I didn't say that!
Confucius say: Is more to running BBS than finding ON.
Confucius say: Is much better to be pissed off than pissed on !
Confucius say: Is stuffy inside fortune cookie.
Confucius say: Janitor who clean by day clean bidet today.
Confucius say: Keeping it in family sure sound incestuous.
Confucius say: Man fly upside down have crack-up!
Confucius say: Man piss in wind, wind piss back.
Confucius say: Man should never straddle barbed wire fences.
Confucius say: Man who abuse his computer get bad bytes!
Confucius say: man who chase cars get exhausted.
Confucius say: Man who drop watch in whisky is wasting time.
Confucius say: Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.
Confucius say: Man who jump through window screen, strain self.
Confucius say: Man who kwitisize moduwator get node bwoke.
Confucius say: Man who lay woman on ground have peace on earth.
Confucius say: Man who lay woman on hill not on level.
Confucius say: Man who live in glass house should bathe in the basement.
Confucius say: Man who live in glass house should dress in basement.
Confucius say: Man who live in glass house shower in basement.
Confucius say: Man who lose key to apartment not get new key.
Confucius say: Man who mess with steamroller flat out lose!
Confucius say: Man who polish knob play pocket pool.
Confucius say: Man who pushes piano down mine shaft get A flat miner.
Confucius say: Man who put cream in tart, not really a baker.
Confucius say: Man who put face in punchbowl get punch in nose.
Confucius say: Man who put foot in mouth get athlete's tongue
Confucius Say: Man who put foot in mouth get athlete's tounge.
Confucius say: Man who read woman like book, prefer braille!
Confucius say: Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Confucius say: Man who sit on hot stove will rise again!
Confucius say: Man who sit on tack get point!
Confucius say: man who smoke pot choke on handle.
Confucius say: Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Confucius say: Man who step in it often say it
Confucius say: Man who take lady on camping trip have one intent.
Confucius say: Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
Confucius say: Man with hole in pocket: feel cocky all day!
Confucius say: Man with no legs bums around.
Confucius Say: Many man smoke, but Fu Man Chu.
Confucius say: Many men smoke but Fu Man Chu
Confucius say: Place to look for helping hand is end of own arm.
Confucius say: Put Rooster in Freezer Get A Stiff Cock.
Confucius say: Ring on her finger = Ring in your nose
Confucius say: Rotten wood cannot be carved
Confucius say: S*** happens.
Confucius say: She who rides bike peddles ass all over town.
Confucius say: Show off always shown up in showdown.
Confucius say: Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
Confucius say: The hand that turneth the knob, opens the door.
Confucius say: Those who quote me are fools.
Confucius say: Virgin like balloon - one prick all gone.
Confucius say: Wallflower at party is dandelion in bed.
Confucius say: Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
Confucius say: What you not want done to yourself, do not do to others.
Confucius say: Wife for life is better than wife for strife.
Confucius say: Woman cook carrots and peas in same pot not sanitary.
Confucius say: woman lousy flier, have crack-up anyway!
Confucius say: Woman who put detergent on top shelf, Jump for Joy.
Confucius say: Woman with cold hands have fire under skirt.
Confucius say: Work to become, not to acquire.
Confucius Say: `A Watched Tandy Never Boots!'
What you do not want done to yourself;do not do to others..Confucius
Why did Confucius always speak in English?
 [Clove captioned for the ham impaired....]
 ___. ._.. __. ._ _ __ ._. _.__  _._. .__  _ ._ __.(Morse Code recipe)
 _______ <- Scratch Here For Your Instant Recipe Prize!
"COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIE!"   Cookie Monster
"Gimme a bottle of anything, and a glazed donut - TO GO!" - D.L. Roth
"I can't eat fast food so I eat turtles."
"I drank WHAT!?" - Socrates
"I know the runny green stuff's potato. What's the black gravel?"
"I used to have a dog, but he wouldn't eat my wife's leftovers."
"I'm getting indigestion just looking at this."
"I'm the dishwasher out back. Hide my tip in the gravy."
"If you find a pork chop in your soup, it belongs to table nine."
"If you order the chili, I need to know your next of kin."
"If you want instant coffee, you'll have to wait!"
"Is it OK if I eat while you're smoking?"
"It comes with three vegetables: two peas and a carrot."
"Marriage is give and take. I eat your cooking so you do the dishes."
"My dog loves people. But mostly he gets canned dog food."
"Now I know why tigers eat their young." - R. Dangerfield
"Of course it's half eaten. You said you wanted the chef's salad."
"Take that back! It tastes like the stuff my wife makes."
"The kitchen's on fire again."
"The little gray bits are non-stick frying pan."
"The recipe says a pinch of spice. I thought it said a 'pound'."
"Today's special is all the caviar you can eat for $600."
"We have two sorts of pies: undercooked and overcooked."
"We'll have to dinner out. The toaster's broken."
"Whaddyer mean, 'I burnt the oatmeal'?... That's coffee!"
"What's a good wine to take away the taste of this food?"
"You don't need your teeth. It's soup."
(A)bort (R)etry (F)ail (G)o fix the coffee
(D)inner not ready:  (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza.
(singing) Girls, they wanna have recipes!
(singing): Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
(singing): Spam, spam, it comes in a can..
(singing): Spam, spam, it comes in a can...And elephants come in quarts!
(starting to chant) Spam spam spam spam spam...
(This recipe deleted due to lack of interest)
(This recipe intentionally left blank)
(_)]  <-  Short Beer.
* <-- Tribble . <-- Tribble after Jenny Craig
* <-- Tribble . <-- Tribble after NutriSystem
* <-- Tribble . <-- Tribble on Dexitrim
* <-- Tribble <--*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*--- <-- Tribble & onion kabob.
* <-- Tribble | <-- anorexic Tribble
** ERROR **  Unable to insert tasty recipe.
***** 5 Star Award for Most Best Recipe of the Month!
*CLEARED* This recipe approved by Canada Customs *CLEARED*
*Read recipes*...*Dump Recipes*...You don't *SAVE* Recipes??? AARRGGHH!!!
-- CLOSED FOR RECIPE DEVELOPMENT --
->                              <- Invisible recipe, send $10 for viewer.
-[Insert clever crunchy frog recipe here]-
... :.::: ::..: ::.::.  :..::  (recipe in Braille)
1001 ways to Wok your Dog....
2 kids, 2 hamburgers, 2 fries, $2.00
20 dollars? Aww, I wanted a Peanut!  - Homer Simpson
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, Hmmm.....
24 hours in a day.  24 beers in a case.  Coincidence?  I think not!
2B or not 2B? Hamlet as unsuccessful Pizza Delivery Boy.
3 Deadly Sins: Spam, Velveeta and Jello
3 Deadly Sins: Tofu, Avocados & Alfalfa sprouts
39. A beer's life does not revolve around the football.
4 of 5 Sysops prefer doughnuts.  The 5th demands pizza.
4 out of 5 sysops prefer donuts. One likes women, but she's weird.
5 or 6 days after eating Italian food - I'm hungry again!
666 - value of the Beefeater beast
666 F - oven temperature of the roast beast
6UP: Missing link in evolutionary chain from 1UP to 7UP.
7 days without pizza makes one weak.
79� for Banana Walrus Wafers? That's a scandal!
8 bagles for $1.49 -- limit 3
8 out of 5 people like chocolate...
80% of people die of NATURAL causes!
99% of all ferret recipes are recycled cat recipes.
< bad recipe removed to avoid embarrassment. >
<--- Grains Of Salt.  Add a pinch to the above recipe.
<<<recipe ERROR>>> Report to tech support.
<<recipe moved to upper memory>>, press <Esc> to continue.
<bing!> Initiating recipe assimilation sequence.
<disclaimer: as usual you should seek competent medical advice.>
<ERROR #57> Please report this error to recipe support.
<Fido burps in background and wags his tail>
<This recipe has been removed by Canada Customs>
<thump> <thump> <thump> Is this recipe thing turned on?
You are - About as sharp as jello.
You are - The person who brought you the beer milkshake.
You can be outwitted by a jar of marshmallow fluff.
A beer can't interrupt.
A beer doesn't care if you go shopping.
A beer doesn't have to sleep with the windows open.
A beer doesn't mind having pantyhose dry in the bathroom.
A beer doesn't mind when your mother visits.
A beer doesn't snore.
A beer doesn't sulk.
A beer doesn't think black leather bikinis are neat.
A beer doesn't want to go out alone with the other beers.
A beer lasts longer than seven seconds.
A beer NEVER leaves the toilet seat up.
A beer never needs a shave.
A beer tastes good.
A beer will only come when you want it to.
A beer won't switch the TV channel.
A beer would never make fun of your new outfit.
A beer wouldn't waste its money on Playbeer magazine.
A beer's life does not revolve around the football.
A bird in the hand makes brilliant cat-food.
A bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down -- And won - John Prine
A bun is the lowest form of wheat.
A burp is not an answer - Bart Simpson
A caribou by any other name is still a big 'ol hairy deer looking thing.
A competent and reliable dishwasher never starves. -- Heinlein
A craving for Tofu and Avacados? Am I pregnant?
A day without orange juice is like a day without vodka.
A day without Pizza just doesn't slice it
A diet is a short period of starvation preceding a gain of five pounds.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
A few fish short of a string.
A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
A food is not necessarily essential just because your child hates it!
A free lunch is only found in mousetraps.
A GOOD friend KEEPS the surplus zucchini.
A good recipe is a snagged recipe!
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
A hen is an egg's way of making another egg.
A hungry dog hunts best.  A hungrier dog hunts even better.
A lighter Dark Beer is an oxymoron
A little fermented curd will do the trick.
A man between two lawyers, is like a fish between two cats.
A man needs a woman like a fish needs a bicycle.
A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems.
A mere charicature of a recipe.
A messy kitchen is the sign of a sexy woman.
A moose by any other name is still a big 'ol hairy deer looking thing.
A morning without coffee is like something without something else.
A piston engine?  What did ya buy that for?   It was on sale.
A Portable Hole holds a lot of beer.
A Recipe for Borsht?  Beets me.
A Redneck's Seven Course Dinner: Possum and a six pack!
A rose is a rose, but a decent enchilada...Now you're talking!
A snagged recipe is still a recipe.
A steel pinata?  This could take hours! -- Crow T. Robot
A thrill comparable to the cleaning the oven
A time to write a recipe, a time to snag a recipe...
A toast  --  To a kinder gentler echo
A warm beer is better than no beer at all
A Warrior does NOT snag recipes - Worf
A Watched Pot May Never Boil, But the Cook Certainly Does
A watched pot never boils, try turning on the heat
A whole boiled egg! Two years of night school finally paid off.
A wok is what you throw at a wabbit.
A woman drove me to drink.  I never properly thanked her.
A woman is like... a beer!   -Homer Simpson
AARRGGHH!! These aren't recipes!! They're infestations!!
ABMs?... We don neeed no steeenkin ABMs.
About three fries short of a Happy Meal...
Ach, me recipe base! It canna take n'more, Capt'n! -Scotty
Actually it's not replying that takes time, it's choosing a recipe.
ADAM and EVE VIRUS: takes several bytes out of your Apple!
Adam had the first soda fountain; he made Eve's cherry pop.
Adventure is the champagne of life. -- Chesterson
After dinner, he said, Your modem or mine?
After God created woman, He atoned by creating beer.
After two weeks of dieting, all I lost was two weeks
Ah know whut a bagel is but whut kinda dawg is a lox?
Ah!  Stirring times we live in... stirring times. -- Hardy
Ah, the traditional Yuletide cabbage! -- Crow T. Robot
Ah-Ha! Caught you snagging my recipes again!
Albatross?  What flavor is it?
Alcohol, Caffeine, Nicotine, Chocolate: The 4 Food Groups
Alcoholic: anti-sobriety activist
Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall....
Alfred Hitchcooking: Stabbing the frozen peas to get them to cook faster.
All available recipes are busy... One will be with you shortly.
All I know is what I read in the recipes.
All my good recipes are at the cleaners.
All my good recipes are on my other computer.
All my recipes are original; SOMEONE had to make them up!
All recipes require at least one extra trip to the store.
All right, who's been turning my messages into recipes?
All Scottish food is based on a dare.
All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
All this beer and only one mouth.
All true wisdom is found in recipes.
Allasis: One-stop gas/food/everything store in the middle of nowhere.
Always keep beer in a dark place. <--Notebooks of LL again
Always store beer in a dark place. -- Heinlein
Am I right in thinking there's a real frog in 'ere?
Amazing what caffeine and no sense of self-preservation can do...
American beer is like sex in a canoe.  F*cking close to water
Americans call it fast food because it speeds them to the grave.
An Aardvark is not just for Christmas anymore.
An oyster is a fish built like a nut.
And garnished with lark's vomit.
And God smote Egypt with a plague of zucchini...
And I sure am enjoying this so-called 'Iced Cream'. - Monty Burns
And Madonna thinks *she's* innovative...
And now for another...Useless Fact.
AND NOW, Scumbag, I'd like to intoduce you to Pat, our Moderator...
And the Lord Said let there be Light, then had a beer.
And the people did feast upon the lambs, and stoats..
And then Lancelot, Robin and I will jump out of the Rabbit.
And they harvested the charcoal briquets. -- Crow T. Robot
And this just in: Fisherman arrested for being a hooker - film at 11.
And what *is* the most popular cheese 'round hyah?
And, boy, does it catch fish! -- Joel Robinson
Another Recipe Kidnapped! Suspect Fido Ate It! GIFs at Eleven!
Another tasty recipe!
ANTACID: what ants use to get high.
Any religion that rejects coffee worships a false god.
Anyone could do it with a *recipe* ....
Anyone got a good recipe for me ?
Anyone Posting Tribble recipes Will Be Shot.
Anytime's the right time for waffles! -- Joel Robinson
Appuyez sur ALT-A pour le version d'Anglaise de cette recipe bilingue
Aquarist: spends $1000 to watch $20 worth of fish.
Are beer commercials great or what?
Are Cheerios really donut seeds?...
Are dog biscuits made from Collie Flour?
Are those cookies made with real Girl Scouts?
Are you suggesting that coconuts are migratory? - Monty Python
Are you sure these recipes are safe???
Are you the Fish Fryer?   No, I'm the Chip Monk.
Army food: The spoils of war.
As a matter of fact, I like beer.
As a rule I don't drink--as a habit I do!
As American as English muffins and French toast.
As lacking in privacy as a goldfish.
Assembler Command: FBI: Free Beer Inside.
Attention Dieters!  Hit >ENTER< now!  SAVE YOURSELVES!!!
ATTENTION recipe Shoppers!  snag 2, get 1 FREE!
Attention!  The buffet is now being served. -- Magic Voice
Attn Gadgets Anonymous: A capucino machine that also takes pictures.
Australian beer is made with kangaroo hops.
Avoid making irrevocable decisions while hungry. -- Heinlein
AWK! read the message instead of recipes....
Bachelor's All Purpose Cookbook: Microwave on High until Hot!
Bacteria: Lunchroom for chiropractors.
Bacteria: The rear portion of the cafeteria.
Bagginses keep snagging our recipes, my preciousssss...
Baked beans are off!
Baking motto:  I knead more dough!�
Balanced diet: four pounds of chocolate with four pounds of cake.
Banana Jam? Is this something to eat or a party game?
Bar-B-Coup: When a relative commandeers the outdoor grill.
Bartender, I'd like whatever the man on the floor was drinking.
Baseball, Hotdogs, Apple pie, NRA!
BBQ is a NOUN, NOT a VERB
Be kind to dumb animals, and give small birds rootbeer.
Beans are neither fruit nor musical - Bart Simpson
Bear Whiz Beer : It's in the water thats why it's...
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
Beeeep! This is a test of the emergency recipe system.
Been there, done that, *s*w*i*p*ed the recipes.
Beer - It's not just a breakfast food anymore
BEER ... It's not just for Breakfast anymore!
Beer and women: Two of God's best gifts to mankind.
Beer bottles and blondes are both empty from the neck up.
Beer can's empty! Memory Full! Zzzzzzzzz....
Beer goggles-see the world thru the eyes of drunk.
Beer Gut?  Nah, I got pregnant before I had the sex change.
Beer in MODERATION is Good, In EXCESS its even BETTER !
Beer is Better: Beer is always in season.
Beer is Better: Eating cucumbers to forget doesn't.
Beer kills brain cells, but only the weak ones...
Beer makes the world go `round (and `round, and `round...
Beer math is two beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.
Beer not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
Beer Nuts are $1.29 but Deer Nuts are under a buck.
Beer nuts:  The dreaded final stage of cotton balls.
Beer will be the urination of me!
Beer!, Now that's a temporary solution.
Beer, Is there nothing it can't do.
Beer, Mr. Peterson?  Ok, but stop me at 1...well, 1:30.
Beer, Normie?...Uh, I dunno, I had one this week. Why not, I'm still young.
Beer, Wine and Women --- Is't Life Great !!!
Beer. Budweiser. Cold. - Riker
BEER...  Drink your daily B-complex with a foamy head.
Beer.... not just a breakfast beverage anymore!!
Beer.....beer...beer.....beer....beer....beer.....beer...
BEER...the breakfast of Champions.
BEER.KEG empty!  OVERFLOW ERROR DETECTED!  Bleeeaakkk!  <
Beer:  It makes me a jolly old fellow.
Beer: Nectar of the Gods, or Urine of the Yeast?
Beercan Located. Operator Loaded.
Beertender, bring me another bar!
BEERWARE ===If it works, buy yourself a beer!
Before TV was invented I wonder if they had radio dinners?
Being an idiot is no box of chocolates.
Best for a case of nerves is a case of beer.
Better recipes Through Assimilation.
Better recipes through confiscation.
Betty Crocker is a flour child!
Betty Crocker is moist and easy?  Should this be on TV?
Beware of health books ... you might die of a misprint
Big 7-11 item, provolone. -- Tom Servo
Bill Clinton: the Spam of world leaders
Blank recipe: paint it, draw on it, be creative!
Blondes and Beerbottles:  both empty from the neck up.
Bodily Functions: Make room for more beer.
Bold?  Well, hell yes it's bold! -- Mike Nelson
BorgerKing- Have it our way; your way is irrelevant.
Bourbon: Breakfast of Champions.
Brains by Oxford, Body by beer!
Braise the Lord: 325 degrees, 1 hour.
Breakfast is the most boring meal of the day. -- Crow T. Robot
Brilliant...Genius...Best message of 1995!  -The Toronto Star
Brook of recipes, where we just babble on and on...
Brought to you by the anarcho-syndicalist commune. - Monty Python
Bruise: A six-pack.
Buccaneer: Very expensive corn on-the-cob.
Budget the luxuries *first*! -- Heinlein
Build-A-recipe Kit: 1/4 1/2 cup spoon fry simmer add mix chill
Bullfight: One man versus a half-ton of pissed-off pot roast.
Bunnies and beer don't mix.
But first, this word from Maxwell House.
But horse radish does *not* go with chicken!
But I don't like Spam!
But not Spam, Spam, Bacon, Eggs and Spam Quiche.
But occifer, I only had ONE beer! said Bud wisely.
But people in hell want ice-water, too...
But, Mom, I don't like cats.   Shutup and eat your dinner.
Buzzbundle: A six-pack of beer.
Byte: A little nibble.
C:\COFFEE.POT missing: (A)bort, (R)etry, (F)all_Asleep
Cabbage: The age of a taxi.
California is a fine place to live, if you are an orange.
California Raisins murdered - cereal killer suspected!
Call 1-900-recipe/New recipes daily/Only $3.95 per minute.
Can anybody think of a good recipe I can snag?
Can O' Worms. Open, Heat, & Eat. Ready in 15 mins.
Can you tell I need more recipes?
Cannibal: A person who is fed up with people.
Cannibalism: intra-species dining
Cannibals consider joggers to be Fast Food.
Cannibals don't eat lawyers.
Cannot understand recipe: <A>bort, <R>etry, <C>ook anyway?
Cappuchino is the dessert form of coffee.
Captain, we're out of Columbian coffee.
Cash value of this recipe: 1/20 of 1 cent.
Casserole: Yesterdays leftovers incognito.
Cat:  Pit bull junk food.
Cat: A small, furry beast resembling a meatloaf.
Cats are nice but does anyone have any good FERRET recipes?
CAUTION! recipes may be hazardous to your disk space!
CAUTION! This recipe offensive to some audiences.
Caviar Emptor; Let the Fish Beware!
Ceci n'est pas une recipe
Celery is not food. It is a member of the plywood family.
Cereal Killer Strikes Again - does it for Kix!
Cereal Killer Strikes Again! Cap'n Crunch found dead
Chain recipe - snagged [385] times - Add 1 to # when snagged.
Chain recipe- Copy and send to six friends for good luck.
Cheerios: Hula-hoops for ants.
Cheese:  Milk's leap toward immortality.
Chef:  Any cook that swears in French.
Cherchez la fizz: Look for the Alka Seltzer.
Chili is a spritual event not a food.
Chimp Sorbet! -- Crow T. Robot
Chip: Not spensive.
Chipfault: The point on a chip where it breaks in the dip.
Chipmunks roasting on an open fire.
Chocolate - Tastes good and improves your sex life.
Chocolate covered spam -- a true WARRIOR'S food!
Chocolate is a serious thing! - Counselor Troi
Chocolate is serious business -- Deanna
Chocolate moose: 1 medium size moose, 20 pounds chocolate.
Chocolate, men, coffee - some things are better rich.
Chocolate: The other major food group.
Choking on a beernut? Apply the Heineken maneuver.
Cholesterol: The stuff in food that makes it taste good.
Chopped Cabbage; not just a good idea, its the SLAW!
Christios, the cereal of zealots. They walk on milk!
Classified Recipe: Please Enter Password:_ _ _ _ _
Click... click... click... Damn! Out of recipes!
Close only counts in horseshoes and lemonade or something...
COFFEE AND DONUTS: Unitarian communion.
Coffee and Echo mail are my second and third favorite things in the AM.
Coffee in England is just toasted milk.
Coffee is good food.
Coffee is not for kids. --Bart Simpson.
Coffee line forms here.  Take a number.
Coffee not found: (A)bort, (R)etry, (F)all asleep
Coffee, black and strong. -- Cooper
Coffee, tea, monster... coffee, tea, monster... - Dot Warner
Coffee: The pharmacological basis of consciousness.
Coffee?  Tea?  Weasel spit?
Cogito, ergo Hormel - I think, therefore I Spam.
COLDBEER.CAN found, programmer probably loaded.
COLDBEER.CAN not found, Sysop not loaded
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Condiment man!  Get your condiments! -- Tom Servo
Conferences come and go, but recipes hang on forever!
Consciousness:  visualize whirled peas
Contains less than 2% U.S. RDA for this echo
Contentsofrecipemaysettleduringshipping.
Cooking Instructions:  Preheat Microwave to 450 degrees...
Corn flakes with gin... -- Tom Servo
CottonBalls: Advanced stage of Beernuts disease.
Couch potatoes have brain tubers.
Could Basil make thyme with Rosemary?
Cowboy Jim's Original Red Hot Gunpowder Chili!
Cowboy Mike's Original Red Hot Ricochet Barbecue Sauce!
Creating recipes is an artform... snaging all of them is an obsession!
Creative marketing: 15 doughnut shops next to 4 weight loss clinics.
Crunchy, raw, unboned, real, dead frog!
CT Legislature: A recipe? Are you SURE it's not taxable?
Curds are whey out.
Cut my pizza in six slices, please.  I can't eat eight slices!
Cwcycdcxnwcwjxncwcwnvcnwncwcycdcxnwcwjxncwcwnvcnwncwd -Welsh recipe
Dad, what does peanut butter grow on? -- Zachary Butler
Damnit where'd I leave that recipe?
Dang it, I left my good recipes in my other reader!
Darn the cholesterol, full fat ahead!
Darn, No good recipes To snag!
Darn. I thought of a GREAT recipe, but now I can't remember it.
DARWIN!!! NO!!!!! OPEN THE HATCH!! I SWEAR IT WAS DOLPHIN FREE TUNA!!
Decadence is its own reward.
Decaffienated coffee table; You can't even see a difference.
Decaffienated coffee? But...why?
Decaffienated coffee? Just Say No.
Decaffienated coffee? Kinda like kissing your sister.
Decaffienated coffee? What's the point of THAT!?
Decision '92 : Four more beers! Four more beers! .
Definition of a pickle:  A cucumber soured by a jarring experience.
Deja Brew: the feeling that you've had this beer before.
Deja Roux: The feeling you've eaten this gravy before.
Deja stew:  The feeling you've eaten this leftover before.
Delicate: A dainty kitten who likes kosher.
Deliver: What too much alcohol affects.
Dessert? I'll take a piece of cherry....
Did someone say fish?  I haven't been fed all day. -- Catwoman
Did someone say.....CHOCOLATE?!
Did you know that in Canada they do not sell Moosehead beer?
Did you know your computer will die without recipes?
Dieting:  A way to make the ends justify the jeans.
Dieting:  The art of letting the hips fall where they may.
Diets are a weigh of life.
Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it.
Difference between a dog and a fox?  About 6 beers...
Dijon vu: the feeling you've tasted that mustard before.
Dinner is done when the smoke alarm sounds.
Dinner Not Ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
Dinner:  Dead animals and some stuff out of the ground.
Dip it in chocolate, it'll be fine.
Dipping it in chocolate will make almost anything edible.
Disappearing recipe! (Just hit Enter. Try it now!)
Disclaimer: All of my recipes are snagged.
DISCLAIMER: I really should not respond to my mail before I have my coffee.
Disgusting!
Division is like a box of chocolates. --Pentium Gump.
Do not drink coffee in the morning or it will keep you awake until noon.
Do you ever find yourself using good recipes in conversations?
Do you like your Chili with or without crushed Oreos? -- Riggs
DOC's??? Oh, you mean the stuff you wipe up coffee with?
Does Chicken Kiev glow in the dark?
Does Thou Shalt Not snag apply to recipes?
Does whisky count as beer? - Homer
Don't ask ME what it is; just eat it!
Don't diet, download a virus to remove the FAT.
Don't eat spam.
Don't fry bacon in the nude!
Don't judge a recipe by it's message.
Don't let your chips grow up to be chocolate... Willie Nelson
Don't Mess With Me!!! It's Monday And I Am On A Diet !!!!
DON'T read a cook book!  Just WING that sucker!
Don't say to a cop, Drunk? I've only beered 2 hads.
Don't send flowers or candy - send a good recipe!
Don't store garlic near other victuals.  L. Long
Don't talk to me until I've had my second cup of coffee
Don't try to kiss a girl after eating a durian.
Don't worry, we can get beer there.
Don't you hate boring recipes?
Don't you hate it when you forget a good recipe?
Double the recipe?  But my oven won't go up to 700 F!
DOWNTIME--Coffee breaks, lunch, or Friday mentality in the office.
Draft Beer Not People.
Drink and drive responsibly.......don't spill your beer
DRINK CANADA DRY! Maybe you can't, but it Is fun trying.
Drink Canada Dry?  This is going to take a while.
Drink it like a man!
Drink your coffee! There are poor people in India sleeping!
Drink! for you know not whence you came, nor why.
Drink! for you know not why you go, nor where...
Dry Ice: A Carbon Dioxymoron
Dumb Blonde or beer bottle: both are empty from neck up.
Easy cookie recipe- 1: Buy one bag Oreos.
Eat CHILLI with 2 L's - it's the law in Illinois
Eat healthy, exercise regularly, and die anyway.
Eat my dust. -- overheard in a Crocus sativus field.
Eat or be eaten. I love the law of the jungle!
Eat SPAM! Save the universe!!
Eat Spam?... All my intestines cried out at once!
Eat the rich, the poor are tough and stringy
Eat tongue???.. But it's been in someone else's mouth!!!
Eat yogurt and get culture...
Eat, drink and be merry...for tomorrow you diet.
Eat, Drink, And Be Merry For Tomorrow We Diet!
EchoMail: A recipe distribution system.
Eeny Meeny, Jelly Beanie, spirits are about to speak.
En-uff with the recipes already!!! - Slappy Squirrel
End of recipe file.  Restart, or try something original?
English coffee tastes like water squeezed out of a sleeve.
ERROR #5716: Unable to come up with a new recipe
ERROR #6060: recipes not tasty. Operator taken out back and shot.
Error 666; Cannot generate recipe
ERROR reading FAT Table... Try Skinny one? (Y/N)
Error! recipe not found. (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)anic?
ERROR: COLDBEER.CAN not found! USER.SYS not loaded.
ERROR: opening COLDBEER.CAN  Glass not ready.
ERROR: Unable to come up with a good recipe.
Eskimos eat whale meat and blubber.  I would, too.
Espresso: An ultra-efficient caffeine delivery system.
Eternity is two people and a ham -- Dorothy Parker
Even a vegetarian vampire can't get blood from a turnip.
Even in space, booze satisfies! -- Crow T. Robot
Ever find yourself posting messages just to show off your recipes?
Ever find yourself reading recipes & skipping messages?
Ever walk into a Denny's at 3 AM?  Looks like the bar in Star Wars!
Ever wanted to download pizza?
Every educated man is a bully in a discussion. -- Beerbo
Every fat person has a skinny one inside. He ate it!
Every Spam is sacred, every Spam is great. -Monty Python
Every time I go on a diet, the first thing I lose is my temper.
Every time I lose weight, It finds me again!
Everybody must believe - I believe I'll have another beer
Everybody should believe in something. I believe I should have a drink.
Everyone knows you snagged my recipe!
Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
Ewwww...you've been eating garlic! -- Dot
Excuse me I gotta go..the pizza man is at the door.
Excuse me.  I should like to buy a fish license please.
Expand your mind.  Eat gifted children.
Expensive imported beer is good for the sole.
Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a side of fries...Please.
Eye of newt, toe of frog, dash of vermouth.
Fact: fourteen out of every ten people like chocolate.
Famous Last Words:  Only had a couple beers; gimme my car
Farmers play the stalk market
Fat (n) - the stuff in food that makes it taste good.
Feed a cold and starve a lawyer.
Females make eggs, males make spam.
Fibroblast: Health food binge.
Fidonet just IS.  It's a Zen thing
File COLDBEER.CAN not found - Operator not loaded!
First listen to sermon, THEN eat missionary.
Fish and Ships: What sea monsters eat.
Fish and Tempura vegetables being BATTERED!  News at 11:00
Fishing: A man's way of hiding a drinking problem.
Flirting gets you nowhere but recipes always welcome.
Flow Chart: A graphic of the fastest route to the coffee machine.
For recipe insert four quarters in slot >>>
Forbidden fruit is responsible for many a bad jam.
Four Food Groups: Beer, Chips, Chocolate, Pretzels.
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your recipes!
Frigerobics: Leaning, bending, stretching while looking in the fridge.
FROG,n. An amphibian with edible legs.
Frogs are smart. They eat what bugs them.
Frosty, how was the hot chocolate?  Frosty, where are you?
Gardening law: You get the most of what you need least.
Garfield's Eating Tip: Never eat anything that's on fire.
Garfield's Eating Tip: Only snack between meals.
Garlic gum is not funny - Bart Simpson
Garlic?  Mama mia!  Have you got the wrong vampire!
Gas and alcohol do mix! The taste isn't too hot though!
Geez, I thought you might make a recipe out of it.
Generic recipe, good for everyday use.
Gerbil/hamster comparison:  Gerbils have more white meat.
Get a free shuggoth is every box of Sugar Coated Nyarlothopops!
Get stoned! Drink cement!
GI: Dressing for Halloween as a pirate. BI: Dressing as a pinata.
GI: Feeding stray kittens. BI: Feeding stray kittens to a bear.
GI: Finding Easter eggs on Easter. BI: Finding Easter eggs on Xmas.
GI: Having breakfast served in bed. BI: Having tennis balls served.
GI: Ordering a chilidog to go. BI: Ordering one that makes you go.
Gimme a P-Nut-Butter -N- Nanner sandwich.  Elvis.
Gimmee a dolphin-burger. Yeah, in the styrofoam box!
Ginger Ale: A drink that feels like your foot when it goes to sleep.
Give me a tuna on rye, hold the mercury.
Give me liberty or give me spam!
Give my the brain on drugs, with bacon, toast & coffee.
Given enough caffeine and chocolate I could rule the world.
Go ahead, make my danish.
Go ahead. Attack me with that bananna.
God always has another custard pie up His sleeve.
God created anchovies, Satan put them on pizza!
God is perfect, man is not. Man made beer, God made pot!
God said I don't want burnt fat offerings. Is he on a low fat diet?
Goldern Jimmie, this is some serious gourmet stuff
Goldfish don't bounce - Bart Simpson
Goldfish don't like Jell-O.
Good morning, Sir.  Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium!
Gorbachex:  Russian breakfast cereal.
Gosh! How did THIS ever get into the Cooking echo? <G>
Gosh, I didn't know TEFLON could melt !!
Got looks, got brains, even got recipes!  WANT MONEY!!
Gourmet recipes: All about Snake, Possum And Mole {SPAM}
Grain! Hops! Barley!  Sounds like breakfast to me.
Grape Nehi - Arkansas beer?
Grape Nuts: No grapes, no nuts!  What's the deal?
Great beer bellies are made, not born.
Great eaters know it's the amount that counts. - Garfield
Great recipes tempt me into becoming a kleptomaniac.
Grits are weird.
Grits, a good excuse for butter when you can't afford a lobster
Grits: Cream of Wheat with an attitude.
Grits? I would rather eat sand... Actually grits is sand.
Guacamole: Spanish word meaning taco caulking.
Guess I'll have to send the recipe police after ya...
Haggis - Gaelic for roadkill
Haggis - Gaelic for Spam
Halloween:  A Pagan holiday perpetuated by the American Dental Assoc.
Ham on rye: Drunk radio operator
Hand me that Spotted Owl drumstick-yeah, the one in the Styrofoam box
Hand over the chocolate and nobody will get hurt.
Hangover: The wrath of grapes.
Happiness is a Warm Woman, a Hot Cycle, and a Cold Beer!!
Hard cookies and warm soda are good for you.
Haste cuisine (Fast French food)
Have beer, will.....buuurrrrpppp.......party!
Have you ever barbecued Spam on the grill?
Have you got anything without spam?
Have you, in fact, got any cheese here at all?
Having a beer can't make you pregnant.
Having a beer doesn't make you want to take a shower.
Having your recipe snagged in this echo is high praise indeed.
Hawaii is as American as apple poi.
He likes his steak so rare, a good vet could save it.
He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.
He who dies with the most recipes had no life to start with.
He who dies with the most recipes is still dead.
He who dies with the most recipes wins!
He who dies with the most recipes, leaves quite a collection behind.
He who eats an apple a day is frowned upon by the A.M.A.
Health food makes me sick.
Health Tip:  Red meat is good.  Green, fuzzy meat is BAD.
Health: The slowest possible rate of dying.
Heaven hath no spam...
Heaven sends us good meat, but the Devil sends us cooks.
Heaven sends us good meat, but the Devil sends us ketchup.
HEBREW - the **MANLY** beer!
Hebrew: Macho glass of beer.
Hell hath no pizza (probably no Chinese restaurants either).
Help stamp out lite beer.
Help! I lost all my GOOD recipes!!
Help! The tribble recipes are multiplying!
HELP!!! I've fallen and I can't reach my beer !!
Herb gardeners are always looking for sage advice.
Here, have a banana and a beer.
Hey Rocky, watch me pull a recipe outta my hat!
Hey! Mr. Rogers ... can you say Poblano,Serrano and Jalapeno?
Hey! What happened to my recipe? It was here a minute ago!
Hey, this isn't my recipe! - Who put this here?
Hi! I'm a recipe virus! snag me! Make my day!
Hi.  I'm the recipe your mother warned you about.
Hit Ctrl-A for greater control over your recipe's destination.
Hitchcooking: Stabbing frozen food to speed up cooking.
Hmm, I owe the echo (1) recipe...
Hobby? ... HOBBY?? ... Recipe collection is a PROFESSION!!
Hog: Corn that walks.
Hoist a green beer...or a green milkshake, which every ap
Hollow chocolate bunnies have no calories.
Homer Simpson: Mmmmmmmm... Beer!
Honey is sweet, but the bee stings.
Honey roasted .....!
Hors d'oeuvres--a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
Hot Dog: the only dog that feeds the hand that bites it
Hot dogs -- meat that's in the Witness Protection Program.
Hot Fudge Sundae falls on a Tuesday this year!
How about a beer, Norm? I'm high on life... Of course, beer is my life.
How about a tip? No messages in the recipes echo.
How are you feeling today, Mr. Peterson?Rich and thirsty. Pour me a beer.
How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?
How can you tell when yogurt goes bad?
How come nobody ever tampers with Spam?
How come pizza gets to your house faster than the police?
How did I get so round from eating square meals?!?
How DO boneless chickens walk?
How do they get teflon to stick to the pans?
How do they get the caribou to cross at the signs?
How do they get the Teflon Coated stickers to stick to the pan?
How do you make a cat float? ...Start with two scoops...
How weird can one message/thread/recipe/conference get?
How's a beer sound Norm?..I dunno. I finish 'em before they get a word in.
How's about some *recipes*??? Coming Up!
How's it going, Mr. P.? Poor. Sorry to hear that. No, I mean pour.
How's life in the fast lane? ...Dunno, can't get on the on-ramp.
How's life treating you Norm?..Like it caught me sleeping with its' wife.
How's life treating you?...It's not, Sammy, but you can!
How's your Moo Goo Gai Pan? Needs more goo.
Human - the OTHER white meat!
Hungry Dieter--May bite if provoked
Hunka, Hunka, Chocolate Cake... Elvis Presley
I am Barney of Borg. You and your beer will be as--<BELCH>!
I am going to post tribble recipes until everyone's brain explodes.
I am hungry. Therefore I am. - Garfield
I am not a recipe collector but rather a food memories collector.- M. Loo
I am NOT a recipe THIEF. I am a recipe CONSERVATIONIST. I recycle.
I am not aging, I am marinating
I am the Goo-Fish!  You are no match for me!  -MM Power Rangers
I am tired of reality. I am going to read recipes.
I assume the electrified cookie jar was your idea. - Garfield
I ate the frosting. -- Zachary Butler.
I believe in refueling, I do... -- Crow T. Robot
I bet there will be plenty of good recipes in heaven.
I blitzed the hard drive. Lost all those good recipes!
I bought some powdered water but didn't know what to add. - s.w.
I can't believe I ate the whole thing! - Homer Simpson
I can't believe I just bought a new HDrive for recipes.
I can't remember which recipes are snagged and which I wrote!
I control the world's supply of dairy products! -- TV's Frank
I did a text file SAVE of your orig. message - Lotsa good recipes.
I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat innards!
I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat tofu!
I diet religiously:  I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight.
I DO NOT like greens eggs and ham\\\SPAM!
I do push-ups 3 times a day...from my chair after each meal.
I do whatever my Rice Crispies tell me to do.
I don't care WHO you are, you're not walking on water while I'm fishing!
I don't do jogging, it makes my beer all foamy.
I don't eat snails, I prefer fast food.
I don't even put beans and chile together in the same tagline!
I don't have a beer belly! It's a gas tank for a sex mach
I don't jog, it makes my beer all foamy
I don't jog.  It makes my beer foam.
I don't know about this lemur.  Tastes kinda gamey. -- Joel
I don't read messages. I just look for recipes!
I don't snag recipes, I redirect them to my hard drive.
I don't snag recipes, I replicate them.
I drank a beer once but I didn't swallow any of it.
I drank WHAT!? -Socrates
I entered this message just to use this recipe.
I feel like putting spam on my head and cucumbers up my nose.
I find a corkscrew handier than a gun
I gave up chocolate - it was the hardest fifteen minutes of my life!
I get a craving for chocolate chip ice cream that can't be controlled.
I gotta go julliene something... -- Crow T. Robot
I had to give up being a vegetarian because of the side effects.
I hate dogs! Hush, and eat what's put in front of you!
I HATE TRIBBLE RECIPES!!!
I have a drinking problem. If Jake has 5 beers and Dan has 4...
I have a love-snag relationship with that recipe.
I have made extraordinary 4 course meals using only a mouli & a toaster oven.
I have resorted to turning messages into recipes.
I haven't got a single recipe with the word -------- in it.
I haven't got a single tagline with the word chile in it.
I Jim, do solomnly swear on this Joy of Cooking, to tell the truth
I just collect recipes, I don't analyze them!
I just had one beer ocifer!  A pony keg.
I just invented garlic pizza
I just knew I'd find a use for this recipe!
I just need enough coffee to tide me over 'till I need more.
I killed a six pack just to watch it DIE!!
I knew she was gone 'cuz, I ran out of beer.
I know how toast works! -- Tom Servo
I learned that in bartending school. - The Continental.
I left my good recipes in my 486.
I like a good beer buzz early in the morning.
I like Australian beer, said Tom, hopingly.
I like children, if they are properly cooked!
I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.
I like my coffee black ... as a moonless night.
I like my steak so rare a good Vet. could save it.
I love animals!  But they all seem to taste like chicken.
I love cats too..... wanna trade recipes?
I love cats. On a good night I can eat 5 or 6 of them!
I love cats. They're pretty good when you add ketchup.
I love children - but I couldn't eat a whole one.
I love children!  They taste just like chicken!
I LOVE cute litle animals...especially in a good gravy.
I LOVE fine wines!  I can afford reasonably decent beer.
I love it when a recipe comes together.
I love spotted owls... battered and deep fried in coconut oil!
I love the smell of recipes in the morning...
I make *serious* coffee. Its so strong it wakes up the neighbors.
I make wine out of raisins so it's aged automatically... - s.w.
I need cookies!  Cookies! -- Tom Servo
I never met a lasagna I didn't like!
I only fish on days that end with a y.
I only have one recipe. This isn't it though.
I ordered chocolate, not vanilla, I screamed.
I poured beer in my rice crispies and heard Snap, Crackle & Burp.
I put instant coffee in my microwave and almost went back in time.
I run the convenience store on the road less traveled.
I smell a rat.  Did you bake it or fry it?
I smoked a salmon once, but didn't inhale
I spent most of my money on beer and women - the rest I just wasted.
I studied Chinese philosophy...an hour later I was wondering again.
I think that would affect my stomach more than my heart. - Calvin
I thought of a good recipe, but forgot it!
I too am not a recipe collector but rather a food memories collector.
I traded a really good recipe for this one.
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
I understand the CHEEZ part, but what the hell is WHIZ???
I use original recipes, but they originate elsewhere.
I used to read books. Now I read recipes!
I want to buy some cheese.
I want to find ALL of them! So far I only have a few thousand.
I want to learn more about baloney! - Dot
I want to read my new poem about pork brains and outer space...
I was on a roll till I slipped on the butter.
I was once a Meal-Master feta taster!
I wish you were a beer.
I'd send you a fish if I could find one.
I'll have a beer, and get a Bloody Mary for my friend
I'll have one brain on drugs with bacon, toast, spam, spam and spam.
I'll have spam, spam, a spatula, and spam.
I'll have what the gentleman on the floor is having.
I'll take 'Famous recipes' for $1,000, Alex.
I'll write no recipe before its time.
I'm a Certified Garlic Crazy.
I'm a realist-1/2 empty of full-The glass stills need washing
I'm afraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir.
I'm Barney of Borg. You and your beer will be as<BELCH>!
I'm crabby cuz; Warm beer.
I'm dead. Dead as a can of SPAM. * Rimmer
I'm Don Pepperoni, the Pizza God Father
I'm hungry for cupcakes.  I dunno why. -- Tom Servo
I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy.I'll take whatever comes out of that tap.
I'm just carrying these worms around for the halibut ....
I'm not that tasty.  I'm mostly gristle. -- Crow T. Robot
I'm on a garlic diet.  I've lost 14 pounds and 25 friends.
I'm PINK therefore I'm SPAM!!
I'm so ashamed. I wrote a tribble recipe.
I'm so hungry I could eat a vegetable.
I'm your next door neighbour. Could I borrow a cup of recipes?
I've fallen!  And I can't reach my beer!
I've got a BEER attitude.
I've got to Brew Beer.
I've got to get a simpler life... Or a bigger refrigerator!
Ice cold beer is better than ice cold anything else
Ice cream cones weren't sex symbols until Madonna.
Ice Cream is a dish best served cold.
Iced Tea, the house wine of the south.
If a fish falls out of the sky, is that an act of Cod?
If all else fails, try Spam.
If brain==fried goto pizza&beer
If Corn Oil Is Made From Corn, What's Baby Oil Made From?
If fast food is so bad, why are the burger joints always so crowded?�
If fish is brain food, serve this man a whale.
If fish is brain food, why do they still get caught?
If fish kept their mouths shut, none would get caught!
If French cooking is so easy, why the 1678 page cook book?
If IBM's have bugs, then do Apples have worms?
If it doesn't have garlic, it must be dessert.
If it tastes good it's fattening - if it don't it ain't.
If it's got jelly beans in it, it definitely ain't chili!
If Mary had a little lamb...who the heck was the father?
If music be the food of love why don't rabbits play banjo
If spam is a meat, then bald is a hair color.
If today was a fish, I'd throw it back in!
If we took the bones out, it wouldn't be crunchy!
If you don't like my peaches, why do you shake my limbs?
If you don't play sports, you don't get to make beer comm
If you fatten up everyone around you, then you look thinner.
If you pour a beer right, you always get good head!
If you want a lawyer recipe, the first consultation is $50/recipe.
If your message arrives late, please keep the recipe as our free gift!
Imitation crabmeat: Fish in the sea going, Wait! I do a GREAT crab!
In heaven there is no beer that's why we drink...HUH?-Tom
In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk
In my book, food should be nutrition and entertainment. - Calvin
In recipes, good is always subjective.
In Wine is Wisdom, In Beer is Power, In h2o are Bacteria!
Indigestion is only fatal in Mexico.
InGoodShape := Copy(Beer,1,12);
Ingredients of Spam: Everything but the oink.
Input: Food, beer, aspirin, etc.
Instant Human: Just Add Coffee...
Instant recipe. Just add water.
Irish 7 course meal: a Sixpack and a potato
Is beer like Champagne?
Is it bad when people take your posts and make em into recipes?
Is there an alcoholic beverage made from oat bran?
Is there such a thing as too many recipes?
Is Velveeta a member of the Dairy Council? -- Mike Nelson
Isn't shrimp on a Barbie a bit kinky?
Isn't there any other part of the matzoh they cook? --Marilyn Monroe
It *CAN'T* be chili if its got cheetos in it!
It doesn't say anything here about lark's vomit!
It is easier to catch flies with honey than with vinegar.
It was Wine,Women & Song. Now it's Beer, The Old Lady & TV.
It'd make a rabbit spit at a dog...Irish Proverb
It's all in the name of science. -- Dr. Forrester
It's all part of this nutritious war. -- TV's Frank
It's an uptown recipe, living in an uptown conference.
It's bold enough to bulldog your taste buds! -- Tom Servo
It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese.
It's either illegal, immoral or fattening!!
It's hard enough to come up with recipes. You want a message too?!?
It's not a beer belly. It's a fuel tank for a sex machine
It's probably a bad day when, you find a dead fish in your underwear.
It's Spam, Jim, but not Spam as we know it- Bones AKA Dr. McCoy
It's the stealth pizza man. -- Crow T. Robot
It's too late, He's spammed.
J!:*#/g_lqer{ 8ry]@jvBnjjj (recipe courtesy of my three year old neice)
Japanese say Americans are lazy?  HAH!  At least we cook OUR fish.
Jesus turned water into wine....the ultimate party guest!
JJJ!!!!:*#/g_lqerJJJJJJ!!!{ 8ry]@jvBnjjjjj  (Jaeda's recipe)
Judgement of beauty can err, what with the wine and the dark. -Ovid
Just don't think I love you only for your recipes...
Just gimme the killer B's...Beer, Blues, BBQ & BBros!
Just hit A to activate your recipe Tractor Beam.
Just ran out of original recipes.  Looking for donors.
Keep America Beautiful - swallow your beer cans.
Keep Canada Beautiful. Swallow your beer cans.
Kernel knowledge: Having your way with a jumbo box of popcorn.
KITCHEN WARNING: Flying SPAM alert!
LAW OF FAST FOOD: Cheap, Fast, Good. - Choose any two.
Laws are like sausages, it is better to not see them made.
Lawyers could be an important source of protein.
Lean books are often larded with the fat of others' works
Less talk -- more recipes!
Let me say again: That recipe file is *gigantic*.
Let's get some beer and dynamite and go fishing.
Librarian Party: Bring your own books and beer.
Life is the variety of spice.
Life is too short to drink cheap beer.
Life is too short to drink cheap wine.
Life is too short to eat boring food.
Life just dished up some spam. -Opus
Light year: A regular year with less calories.
Like, I think my bottle absorbed my Beer, eh.
Lions and Tigers and Bears? We're LUNCH!
Live fast, die young, and leave a fat, bloated, ugly corpse!
Live fast, die young, and leave a fgood looking corpse!
Lobster:  A great excuse for eating a pound of butter.
Lock the doors, everyone freeze, my recipes are gone.
Loin: Not fat.
Look! Mouseburger and french flies! -- Beavis
Looking for a few good recipes.
Looks like I picked a bad week to give up beer.
Loose all that ugly FAT download a virus TODAY!
Lovely Spam, Wonderful Spam!
Man can not live on beer alone. But it's sure fun trying.
Man does not live by coffee alone. Have a Danish!
Man Vs. Beer: A beer wouldn't waste its money on Playboy.
Man, I get weirder things than you in my breakfast cereal!
Mandatory recipe affixed per FidoNet Policy 4.9.2.
Mandatory recipe omitted; moderator gone berserk. Story at 11:00.
Many a good message ends with a bad recipe.
Marching to a different kettle of fish.
Mary had a little lamb...with some white wine and a tossed salad.
May your glass never be empty & your life always bubbly.
Meat is murder, Frank... -- Dr. Forrester
MEAT SUBSTITUTE(n): examples: soybeans, vibrators
Melted Fruit Snacks on Keyboard.  Delete Children?  (Y/n)
Melts in your mouth, bulges in the mirror.
Men learned to walk upright cause they put beer on the top shelf.
MESSAGE (n): recipe carrier.
Microfiche:  Extremely small French fish.
Missionaries: The other white meat.
Mmmm... Roast Leg of Insurance Salesman!
Mmmmmmmmmm forbidden doughnut! Ahm uhm ahm
MMMMMmmmmmm.. Foot-long Chili Dog! - Homer Simpson
MNP=Modemers Need Pizza
Modem: How a Southerner asks for seconds.
Moderator sighted, insert random on-topic recipe.
Moosehead: Great beer, and a new experience for the moose.
Most idiots don't make up their own recipes, but I do.
Must get Moose and Squirrel! - Boris & Natasha
My favorite brand of beer? Whatever SHE'S buying!
My hard drive lost it's FAT on a crash diet.
My life is like a beer commercial.
My low-fat diet really works!  The fat hangs lower every day.
My specialty......Kraft dinner.
My Spell Checker says there is no such thing as Chop Suey.
My Spell Checker says there is no such thing as Tofu.
My sysop erased the good recipe before you could read it.
Nervous:  Asking which wine goes best with fingernails.
NEVER ask what hot dogs are made of!
NEVER drink and use an electric mixer at the same time!!!
Never drink coffee that's been anywhere near a fish.
Never eat a hedgehog without peeling it first.
Never eat children!  You don't know where they've been!
Never eat more than you can lift.
Never eat prunes when you are famished.
Never eat the last cookie.
Never feed your kids anything that clashes with the carpet..
Never open your own restaurant.
Never program and drink beer at the same time.
Never raise your hand during a hijacking to show you get a kosher meal!
Never take a beer to a job interview.
New recipe Found! [S]nag, [C]ook, [I]ncease garlic?
New restaurant on the moon : cool, but no atmosphere...
News headline: Milk drinkers are turning to powder.
News headline: Quarter of a million Chinese live on water.
No man can scoop a meal out of a can as that man can. - Garfield
No Nicking, Nibbling, or Finger Dipping Allowed in my Kitchen.
No no, chocolate goes in the North. Massage oil goes in the West!
No one expects the Spamish Repetition! Spam Spam Spam!
No one goes to that restaurant anymore- it's always too crowded.
No woman ever shot a man while he was doing the dishes.
No! A Martinus, if I wanted a double, I'd ask for it. - W&S
No, I've not found the Master Universal recipe File.
No, it doesn't come with bloody wafers!
Nobody knows the truffles I've seen.
Nothing cures a case of nerves like a case of beer.
Now accepting any GOOD recipes!
Now Eating: Cream Cheese, green olives on bagel.
NOW from Ralston Purina! Human-flavored Dragon Chow!
Now, would you be a gentleman and send me a couple of recipes???!!
Of course I can cook, but I never do it on the first date!
Of course I have a recipe. Why do you ask?
Oh, a rhetorical post?  Okay, this is a rhetorical recipe....
Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it -- Tim
Ohhhhhh...ET must be into the beer again....I'm drunk!
OK kids come and get your Bambiburgers-hey why is everyone crying?
Ok. So I'm not very good at thinking up recipes.
Okay, Quaker, let's have it: name, rank, and cereal number.
Okay, who ordered the Mount Bellyache Chocolate Ice Cream Sundae?
Old days: Wine, Women, Song. Now days: Coffee, Computers, CD's.
On a beer day, you can pee forever.
On eclair day, you can eat forever.
One beer gets me drunk...usually it's the 14th one.
One cannot be wise on an empty stomach
One chocolate donut is worth 1000 bran muffins.
One dead unjugged rabbit fish later...
One more *%^%$^@! spam recipe and I get violent.
One more bowl of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs.
One rabbit stew coming right up! -- Bors
Only a test. Had this been an actual recipe...
Ooooohhhh!  I hates rabbits. -- Yosemite Sam
Oops, I think Daddy burned the spam again!
Oops... Tried to snag my own recipe!
Operator out of coffee. Recipes may become irrational.
Opie and his therapist go fishing... -- Tom Servo
Oregano:  The ancient Italian art of pizza folding.
Organ transplants are best left to the professionals - Bart Simpson
Origin of Life?  Just check my refrigerator ...
Originality: posting a snagged recipe at least one reader has never seen.
OUT OF RECIPES: PLEASE ORDER MORE.
Out of the mouths of babes often comes oatmeal...
Overeating: What makes you thick to your stomach.
Overweight just sort of snacks up on you.
Overweight? I prefer to say I'm chocolate-enriched.
Own three week old gefilte fish -- Go to Jail.
Oxymoron: decaffeinated coffee
Oxymoron: English chef
Oxymoron: lite dark beer.
Oxymoron: Non-alcoholic beer.
Pastaplegic:  Person who can't move after eating too much spaghetti.
Patience is waiting for pizza to thaw. - Garfield
Peanut butter crackers are a *must* while _I'm_ Modeming!
People who go broke in a big way never miss any meals.  L. Long
People with cute nicknames should be used for food...
Pessimist: looks at the Land of Milk & Honey; sees cholesterol and calories
PETA: People for the Eating of Tasty Animals.
Petition Hormel to make Spam out of Barney.
Ph.D. stands for Pepper-head Dude, right?
Phobia -- what you have left over after you drink two out of a 6-pack.
Pick two: [1] Fast [2] Tasty [3] Cheap
Pickle: A cucumber soured by a jarring experience.
PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.
Pizza - it's not just for breakfast any more!
Pizza IS the four food groups!
Pizza: It's not just a food group, it's a way of life.
Pizza: Nature's perfect food.
PKLite Beer?
Plant zucchini only if you have lots of friends.
Please do not offer my god a peanut! -- Apu
Politically correct healthy chili has yogurt and tofu in it? <UGH>
Pour beer into your SmartModem & make your Baud Wiser!
Powdered water -- just add ... hmmm ...
Powered by coffee, pizza, and chocolate.
Preserve wildlife - pickle a hedgehog!
Press + to see another recipe.
Press <Ctrl-Alt-Del> now to access the Spam recipe file section
Press ALT-F for the French Version of this bilingual recipe.
Press PLAY+REC to save this recipe.
Principles have no real force except when one is well fed. - Twain
Protect your bagels. Put lox on them.
Protein: In favor of young people.
Proving that snagged recipes are the sincerest form of flattery.
Prunes are raisins on steroids.
Put a lot of little marshmallows in your hot chocolate.
Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms? A: They're too hard to peel.
Quick, call the food police.
Quite an interesting recipe. Think I'll take it with me.
Rabbit au gratin de gelatine under tooled leather... drool, drool!
Ram's Bladder Cup.  Now, what sort of confectionery is that?
Rap is to music what Hot Dogs are to cuisine.
Rat cake, rat sorbet, rat pudding, or strawberry tart.
Read any good recipes lately?
Real computers don't eat cache.
Recipe voting: [ ] 5 star [ ] very good [ ] good [X] bad
Recipes are `bout as much fun as you can have with your jeans on.
Recipes in good taste?  How 'bout good tasting recipes?
Red eye special - A double espresso with a shot of coffee.
Red meat is bad for you -- fuzzy green meat is even worse.
Red meat is good for you. Fuzzy blue-green meat is BAD for you.
Red meat isn't bad for you. Fuzzy blue-green meat is.
Redneck Menu Conundrum #1: What wine goes with Moon Pies?
Redneck Menu Conundrum #2: What wine goes with possum?
Refried beans -- why couldn't they fry 'em right the FIRST time?
Religions change.  Beer and wine remain.
Remember the immortal words of Socrates:  I drank what?
Remember, the current burger wars are making tacos cheap!
Revenge is a dish best served...with stuffing instead of potatoes!
Revenge is a dish best served...with tangy Miracle Whip!
Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.
Righteous Gump.....You've Lost That Box of Chocolates.
Road Kill Cafe - Today's Special: Poodles `N Noodles
Road Kill Cafe - Today's Special: Squished Squirrel
Road Runner: Fast Food
Roast Barney with Smurf Stuffing... Guaranteed to kill diabetics!
Romulan ale no longer to be served at diplomatic functions.
Rotisserie:  A Ferris wheel for chickens.
Rule #05: Everyone must buy the moderator chocolate.
Run for the toilet! Taco Bell's done it again!
Rye?....Rye not!
S&M's candies: they taste HORRIBLE! But I like 'em!
Sacred cows make the tastiest hamburger. - Abbie Hoffman
Sage advice: To cook well, learn all about spices.
Salvation is only a Beer Bottle away.......
SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment.
Sauerbraten:  Moody children.
Save the ALES!
Save the whales -- they make great leftovers!
Scotty, beam me down another beer!!! (BUURRP!!)
Screw the mug, give me a caffeine I.V. !!!
Sea World...Sushi lovers go straight to the source!
Seduced by the chocolate side of the Force.
Separate two eggs?  Why are they fighting?
Serial Port - Red Wine on Grape Nuts...
Set phasers on Cajun Style.
Set phasers on Habanero
Sex and chocolate: better together than separate!
Sex and food ain't everything, there's booze too!
She's a chiliholic, and she just can't help herself.
Shepherd's Pie = 3.141592653589793238462643383279... sheep
Should we eat him or bury him? -- Crow T. Robot
Should'a never had those little Vietnamese peppers... -- Nelson
Show me the glen where the kippers roam free.
Show respect for age.  Drink good Scotch for a change.
Shut up and eat your Durian (in memory of Stephen Ceideburg)
Sign at bake sale:  Cakes - $.66    Upside down cakes - $.99
Silly Hooker. Trix are for Magicians!
Silly Kid. QWKs are for readers!
Silly rabbit . . . Tricks are for hookers!
Six pints of bitter.  And quickly please, the world's about to end
Sleep is a poor substitute for caffeine.
Slugfest: An escargot cook-off.
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast
Snap, Crackle and Pop found dead, Cereal killer suspected
So Frosty, how was the hot chocolate? Frosty, where are you?
So how long, exactly, have you had the delusion that you were a cook?
So how many points do I get on my cooking license? <G>
So many recipes ... so little thyme!
So who put spam in *your* cornflakes this morning?
So why IS, a carrot more orange than a orange?
Some days, I'd kill Flipper for a good tuna sandwich.
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, others gargle!
Some is good, more is better.  Too much is just right.
Some like it hot, some like it cold; I like it chocolate!
Some mornings, sex is almost better than coffee.
Some people gain weight by having intimate dinners for two...alone.
Someone left the cork out of my lunch. W.C. Fields
Sometimes the garbage disposal gods demand an offering of a spoon.
Sometimes you get beer, sometimes beer gets you
Sometimes you have to wake up and smell the Spam.
Sorry, no recipe. Check back next week
Soybeans and dildos are meat substitutes.
SPAM - Squirrels, Possum and Mice.
Spam -- canned meat you'll SCREAM for!
SPAM doesn't kill people - it outlives them.
Spam for me, please, with a side of crunchy frog.
Spam Kinison -- canned meat you'll SCREAM for!
Spam Spam Spam Spam Bacon Eggs Spam and Spam
Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam jobs and spam - Bush
Spam Spam Spam Spam, Spammity Spammmm, Spam, Spam, Spam...
Spam!  Lovely spam!  Beautiful spam!
Spam!  The wonder substance! -- Joel Robinson
SPAM(n): Acronym for Snake, 'Possum, and Mole.
Spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam and spam.
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, EGGS, SPAM, SPAM AND SPAM.....
SPAM...(S)crap (P)ork, (A)in't (M)eat
Spam.... It's not just for breakfast any more.
Spam...it is the devil's work!
SPAM...[S]pecially [P]rocessed [A]nimal-flavored [M]atter.
SPAM: Slime Posing As Meat -Jay Leno
Spam: Sound pig makes hitting bottom of elevator shaft.
SPAM: Subsentient Protoplasm Approximating Meatloaf
Speaking of durian leftovers -- have you checked your post office box?
Sponge cake recipe: First borrow 3 cups of flour...
SPONGECAKE: Dessert made of borrowed ingredients.
Sport Fisherman: spends $1000 on equipment to watch $20 worth of fish.
Spotted Owl Tastes Just Like Bald Eagle
Spotted owl tastes just like chicken!  Yum!
Squirrel gravy and grits. Only the pure would understand.
Squirrel: Just a cute tree rat with a good PR agent.
Squirrels LOVE peanut butter balls!
Squirrels swim on their backs to keep their nuts dry!
Squirrels! All we really are is squirrels.
Squirrels, the other white meat.
Stack Overflow: Too many pancakes.
Start a download. Get a beer. Multitasking.
Start mail download.  Grab a beer.  Watch some football: Multitasking.
Stay away from the barbecue sauce! -- Crow T. Robot
Steak is my ally!  Butter does my bidding! -- TV's Frank
Stick you head in the microwave and get yourself a tan!
Stress relief tip:  Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
Success is making it to the top of the food chain!!
Support bacteria, it's the only culture some people have.
Sure, drinking kills brain cells...but only the weak ones!
SUSHI: Known to the rest of the world as 'Bait'.
Swim nude.  Sharks hate to peel their food.
Taglines in good taste?  How 'bout good tasting taglines?
Take a congressman to lunch. You will need a tenderizer.
Taste first, ask questions later....
Tasteless recipe attached to pointless message.
Ten chocolate sundaes. I'm in a really bad mood. --Q.
Teutonic: Not enough gin.
Texas 7-course meal -- a bowl of chili and a six-pack
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS WALRUS WAFERS!! Well, there SHOULD be!
Top o' the food chain to ye!
Tortilla:  Lawyer's lunch choice.
Try some of the Persian...  No, I'll just split a diet Tabby.
Try to explain a chocolate soda to today's youth.
TV DINNER: Food that tastes like it was prepared by the TV repairman.
TV Truth:  Drinking beer attracts beautiful females.
TV Truth:  Mothers actually worry about brands of peanut butter.
Twas a brave man who first ate an oyster...or an egg.
Twinkies do not have a half-life;they just keep going and going.
Twinkies have a half-life, but Ding Dongs are eternal
Twinkies have a half-life, but Velveeta is eternal.
Two beers times 37 men = 49 cases.
Unable to find COLDBEER.CAN...  SysOp not loaded!!!
Unless it affects the price of chocolate, it has no bearing on my life.
URA redneck if a waiter asks for a wine choice and you say Budweiser, 95
URA Redneck if Thanksgiving was ruined because you ran out of ketchup.
URA Redneck if there's a ham hanging from your front porch.
URA Redneck if you can have sex without spilling your beer.
URA Redneck if you eat 'chitlins', 'grits', or frank-and-beans frequently.
URA Redneck if you ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.
URA redneck if you stare at a can of orange juice becuase it says concentrate.
URA Redneck if you think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup.
URA Redneck if you think Espresso is a courier service.
URA Redneck if you think French onion dip is an exotic tobacco product.
URA Redneck if you think Paprika is a third world country.
URA Redneck if you thinks rabbits are food, not pets.
URA Redneck if you're famous for your homemade squash wine.
URA Redneck if you're holding a beer in your wedding picture.
URA Redneck if you've ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.
URA Redneck if your idea of health food is pork rinds.
URA Redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
URA Redneck if: You can have sex without spilling your beer.
URA Redneck: you see an animal and your 1st thought is That's good eatin'
Useless Invention: A freezer for Eskimos.
Useless Invention: Cat flap for the fridge.
Useless Invention: Dehydrated water.
Useless Invention: Freeze Dried Water.
Useless Invention: Low salt brine.
Useless Invention: Low-calorie PowerBar.
Useless Invention: Reduced calorie water.
Useless Invention: Sugar coated insulin.
Vegetarian's Peace Rally Sign: No Cukes! Give Peas a Chance!
Vegetarian:  Indian word for lousy hunter!!!
Vegetarians eat vegetables - beware humanitarians!
Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?    Not *today*, sir, no.
Wait while I look up Unicorn.  No sense shooting it if it's extinct.
Waitress! (glare)  This roadkill is not properly aged!
Want A Free Lunch, Get Elected to the U.S. Congress.
Wanted dead or alive ... one pink rabbit with a drum.
Warning!  COLDBEER.CAN found, programmer probably loaded.
Warning! This recipe fails CRC check!
Watermelon--it's a good fruit.  You eat, you drink, you wash your face
We *ALL* start with 0 recipes. ... Then, we all {*urp*} grow! :-)
We dine well here in Camelot; We eat ham and jam and Spam a lot!
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot!
We hired you to babysit & you cooked and ate them BOTH?!?
We might remind cats that our ancestors wore theirs.
We need perfection in our lives ... We need *perfect* recipes!
We're for a good time not a long time - Beer drinker's motto
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl...
We're Looking for a Few Good Claws
We're PROFESSIONAL chefs. Do NOT try this at home!
Weasel, the other yellow meat.
Weed it and Reap. American Vegetable Association.
Welcome to the SICK and DEMENTED recipes Conference.
Well, that's no ordinary rabbit! -- Tim
What does eating have to do with Spam?  <baffled look>
What flavor milkshake? -- Food Dispenser   Beer. -- L
What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
What happens when your fortune cookie contradicts your horoscope?
What the hell. Go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.
What's the meat in it? Perfectly Normal Beast.
What? Isn't 40 bajillion recipes enough for you? Greedy greedy!
What? You actually cook these recipes?
When a poor man eats a chicken -- one of them is sick.
When did my wild oats turn to shredded wheat?
When I read about the evils of drinking I gave up reading.
When life gives me lemons, I make orange juice.  I mess up everthing.
When Pigs fly, they will be called PIGeons!
When your chocolate bar melts in the fridge... You're in Texas!
Where can I find a spell chequer for reicepes?
WHITE BEER: A Trailer Park of Flavor in Every Bottle
Why are Chinese fortune cookies written in English?
Why are you carrying that fish around?  For the halibut..
Why beer is better: Eating cucumbers to forget doesn't work.
Why beer is better: it's always in season.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?  They taste funny!
Why don't many cats swim?  Why don't many fish fly?
Why is it raining fish? * Rimmer
Why remember recipes when you can make them up?
Women go on diets. Men just eat less ... and grow fat.
Work is for people who don't now how to fish.
 �*POLICE TAGLINE*�*DO NOT CROSS*�*POLICE TAGLINE*
ASSAULT is a *behavior*, not a *device*
Breaking and Entering--Crime of having sex with a virgin.
Copulation: Sex between two consenting police officers
How come pizza gets to your house faster than the police?
If guns cause crime, do matches cause arson?
If guns cause crime, then flies cause garbage.
If guns cause crime, what does that make the police?
If the cops throw a net over me, am I legally in seine?
If you're really a police dog, where's your badge?
It is better to be judged by twelve, than carried by six.
It's people, not guns or knives that kill.
It's the criminals, not the guns stupid!
It's the criminals, Stupid!
Just tell the tagline police you were making backups.
Keep cops off welfare. Commit a crime.
Keep your guns and turn in a criminal!
Less than 2/10th of 1 per cent of the guns in the US are misused in crime.
LETS WIN THE WAR ON CRIME, ARM VICTIMS!!!
Lock and Load. These fingers have just begun to type.
Man with 42 bullet wounds killed in Gang War walks away!
More people would be alive if more criminals were given the death penalty!
No thanks, I'm a Government man.
Officer , I wasn't driving fast, just flying low!
Officer, where do I apologize for shooting this idiot?
Okay, who swiped the Crime Watch Sign?
Punishment SHOULD be cruel and unusual. It works better.
Put an end to car-jackings:smile, agree, then use swift and deadly force.
Simplified Crime Bill:  It's illegal to be a criminal.
Six words that quell riots: "Lock and Load. Shoot to Kill"
The .357 Mag in a crowded elevator, there is no finer weapon.
The 1st step to burglar-proof your home, Clean your gun.
The boss said 'Leave an emergency # while on vacation'. I wrote 911.
Your Honour, I wish to plead permanent insanity.
                   Sysops like to watch
                 <<<<< Thanks, Sysops >>>>>
 I shot the SYSOP, but I should have shot the moderator
 Mama's don't let your babies grow up to be Sysop's 
 We'll have fun fun fun till the sysop takes the Echo away... 
"Bother!" said Pooh, and deleted his message base....
"Bother," said Pooh, as he put the message in the wrong conference.
"Brilliant... Genius... Best message of 1994!" * N.Y. Times
"It's a unit of electric current", said Tom amply.
"My upbringing is filled with inconsistent messages." - Calvin
(A)bort (R)etry (K)nock it off, I read the *message*
(huskily) Oh, yes!  Scan me NOW!  �޺���۳�ݳ�ݳ�
(This tagline may contain an encrypted satanic message)
(Welcome back from the previous message!)
- Chat Mode - SYSOP Here,  You have 30 seconds!
2.0 VirusScan.  Windows 3.1 found:  Remove it? (Y/n).
4 of 5 Sysops prefer doughnuts.  The 5th demands pizza.
85% of message is previously quoted text.  Edit? <Yes/Hell no!>
99% of message is previously quoted text. Edit? <YES!/no>
<Ctrl><Alt><Del> to read next message.
<��� Grains Of Salt.  Take As Needed With Above Message.
>>> Continued to previous message
>sniff<  You didn't put a single tagline in your message.   >sniff<
>thud< "Message for you sir..."
A day in the life of a bar code scanner:  ��޺���۳�ݳ�ݳ� >BEEP<
A fool and his money are sysop material.
A good tagline is worth a 100 line message!
A program is used to convert data into error messages.
A sysop's favorite educational show - "Connections."
Admit nothing, deny everything, blame the Sysop.
All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.
All right!  Who's been turning my messages into taglines?
All sysops are not user friendly!
All taglines are currently busy.  Please try again later.
All taglines are currently busy... one will be with you shortly.
All taglines lead to the end... of the message!
An electrical engineer deals with current events.
An electrician worries about current events.
and I've got 4,567 archived messages to prove it.
And in the news:  Check out the next message.
And now, the current score... Deep Space 9, Babylon 5.
And thus ends another wit-filled message.
Anencephallic user detected.  Convert to sysop? <Y>es <N>o
Another fine winner of the "Idiotic Off Topic Message" award.
Another message from Andrea's deluded and demented mind.
Another victim of trying to end these messages on time...
Are you still here?  The message is over.  Shoo!  Go away!
As Sysop, I *CAN* say, "Computer, end program."
Aww, Honey... Just one more message, honest...
Bad or missing Sysop, free files in all areas.
Bargain Tagline (no message).
BBS = Busted, Broke, SysOp (Now You Know!)
Become a sysop and never see the world!
Bikini underwear:  scanty panty.
Bitten by a mutant computer bug, he turned into _SYSOP_!
Blondes AND women AND nurses can be sysops, too!
Brain cell currently disengaged ...
Broadcast Message At 4:45pm   Brain going down immediately.
Brought to you by the Mother of all Messages.
By the time this message gets back on topic, WE'LL ALL BE DEAD!
Cal, you're playing the wrong message!
Can you believe it?  This message really does end?
Can you teach an old SysOp new tricks?
Captain, we are being scanned!  ��޺���۳�ݳ�ݳ�
Catscan - a hi-tech device for examining cats.
Confirmed Message Junkie, First Class
Confuse people - quote from the wrong message.
Continued on the continuation on the contiguous message.
Current Bald rate is 15 hairs Per Second.
Current death rate:  One per person.
Current Protocol:  None Selected.
Currently 301� something or other outside.
DANGER!  Off-topic messages!  Danger!
Decrease moderator unemployment:  Post off-topic messages.
Did you really understand that message?
Did you _HONESTLY_ have to quote a 75-line message for a 2-line reply?
Do I detect a note of panic in your messages?
Do sexy electrons have current affairs?
Does a sysop have to call himself to read his mail?
Don't follow this message too closely!
Don't just read the Tagline; read the MESSAGE!
Don't look now Cal, but this message is over...
Don't messages like that have to be signed, "The Moderator"?
Drop your carrier or the sysop gets it!
DURACELL.BAT arced.  SysOp is shocked!
End of message - stop reading.
ERROR #0521:  KITTY.CAT Virus Scan has exterminated the MOUSE driver.
Error #0754:  Cannot locate error message for ERROR #0392
ERROR #2027:  General Protection Fault.  Do Not Go To Next Message.
Ever meet a Sysop who would admit the problem was his?
FATAL ERROR #1070:  Sysop late for work.
FATAL ERROR #1071:  SYSOP BANKRUPT
Fiction:  It can't hold a scandal to biography.
From the Sysop's dirty mind... err, desk.
Guts:  putting "SYSOP" in your twit filter.
Hard Drive Crash... Sysop Strikes a Directory Tree.
Heard that the sysop likes to watch porno@#$&&@#$  NO CARRIER
History is a continuing series of current events.
Hug your sysop daily, send him candy on his birthday.
I am SysOp, hear me roar, with modems too fast to ignore.
I want to reach your mind - where is it currently located
I was arbitrarily and capriciously locked out by the sysop!
I'm a figment of my sysop's imagination (and pocketbook)!
I'm currently resting my mind, in preparation for my big breakdown.
If money talks, Being a SysOp is pretty quiet.
If Sysop doesn't answer first page, use ALT-H for a second attempt.
Is a recent power outage a current event?
It's inherited.  My son-in-law was a SysOP, too.
JABBA - CBIP:  Current Book In Progress
Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
Mail found:  praise sysop!
Multitaskers do it everywhere:  Concurrently!
My Data action figure says I shouldn't worry, he scanned me & I'm okay.
My epitaph:  Sysop not buried here.  Leave feedback instead?
MY Sysop lets me say things like ��� C E N S O R E D ���
NO New Mail.  Leave threatening message for SysOp? (Y/n)
None of you exists, my sysop types all this in!
ODOSCAN.EXE:  keeps the Quarks off of your hard drive.
OFF-line mail makes sysops happy.
Okay Sysops - Next week, we'll learn how to play the kazoo...
Page your sysop at 3:00am and learn new words.
Pirated tagline.  Contact the author, then the cops and sysop.
Please report all lost or stolen taglines to your Sysop.
PLEASE STAND-BY:  SYSOP HAS TEMPORARILY EXITED TO DOS... (TAKING A LEAK)
Policy does not imply that sanity is a Sysop requirement.
Raising pet electric eels is gaining a lot of current popularity...
REAL Sysops disconnect the Speaker!
Reality depends on the book I am currently reading.
Remember - you don't have to be smart to be a SysOp.
Remember to thank your SYSOP on occasion!
Remember:  Somewhere, somehow - a Sysop is watching you.
Replace your sex drive with a disk drive: become a sysop!
Run Time Error 485728403 ...SysOp Obviously Crazy.
SASS - Sysops Against Stupid Signatures.
Sorry... all *.TAG files are currently being edited.
Sorry... Currently Experiencing TREKnical Difficulties...
Support your sysop... Send your paycheck.
SWF, blonde bombshell, seeks man now.  NO SYSOPS!
Sysop Justification No.1:  Because I'm the Sysop; that's why!
SysOp not available.  This is an OFF-LINE mail reader, dummy.
Sysop requesting chat.  Press Alt-H for chat mode.
SYSOP stands for Sent Your Spouse Obscene Pictures
Sysop trying to page you, go to Main Menu & press <G>!
Sysop!  Your BBS gave me a "Printer out of paper" error!
SysOp:  (n) One who constantly reconfigures.
Sysoping makes you fat.
Sysoping:  More fun than being beaten with a sledgehammer.
Sysops are guilty of baudy behavior.
Take a Sysop to lunch, he's probably broke.
Temporary sysop access granted!
Thank God for SysOps!  But why do they DO IT?
The sound of a SysOp reading mail:   <cr><cr><cr><cr><cr>
The Sysop has granted you unlimited download privleeches.
The Sysop of MY board is better than yours!
This communication link monitored by your Sysop.
This Tagline is currently out of order.
Will you still respect me after we scan?  ��޺���۳�ݳ�ݳ�
Your sister dates a sysop!  Nyaah-nyaah.
Experiments show that dead puppies aren't much fun.
Falling Cookware Area.  DEADPAN Expression Required.
Fatal Error: You're dead.
FIDO:  Finding Interesting Dead Organisms
Flashlight:  A case in which to carry dead batteries.
For God's sake get off!  She's dead, Jim!
FORD = Found On Road Dead
Format C: Kills software bugs dead.
Genealogists collect dead relatives.
Genius is the talent of a man who is dead.
GET REAL! Elvis is DEAD! Accept it!
God is Dead - Nietzsche ::: Nietzsche is Dead - God
God is dead and Elvis is alive. What a country.
God is dead, but 50,000 social workers have risen to take His place.
God is not dead - he's alive and autographing bibles at Waldenbooks.
God isn't dead, he just can't find a parking place!
God isn't dead, he just couldn't find a parking place.
God isn't dead, he's just shelled to DOS.
He isnt dead; He's electroencephalographically challenged
He who dies with the most of anything, is still dead.
He who dies with the most toys - is dead.
He who dies with the most toys is still DEAD!
He's about as quick as a jackrabbit (dead, that is).
He's brain dead, Jim.
He's dead Jim! Get his tricorder, I'll get his wallet.
He's dead Jim! Hey, get away from him, Dahmer!
He's dead Jim! Sulu took his tricorder, I got his wallet.
He's dead Jim! You get his phaser, I got his wallet.
He's dead Jim, Spock took his tricorder, I got his wallet
He's Dead Jim, thats 10 this week already
He's Dead Jim. Get His Phaser, I Got His Wallet.
He's dead Jim. Grab his tricorder. I'll get his wallet.
He's dead Jim. Kick him if you don't believe me.
He's dead Jim. You get his tricorder, I'll get his wallet
He's dead Jim. You get the tricorder, I'll get his wallet!
He's dead Jim. You take his phaser and I'll get his wallet
He's dead Jim. You take his phaser, I'll take his wallet!
He's dead Jim... Grab his wallet!
He's dead Jim... Nice shot.  My turn!  PULL...
He's dead Jim.You get the tricorder,I'll get his wallet.
He's dead, Jim me bucko!  Arrrrrr.
He's DEAD, Jim! Go to Sick Bay and get the Maggot Master!
He's dead, Jim, and he can't get up!
He's dead, Jim.
He's dead, Jim.  But I *really* like his watch.
He's dead, Jim.  Dibs on his boots.
He's dead, Jim.  Kick him if you don't believe me.
He's dead, Jim.  Nice shot, that puts you up two points.  My turn.
He's dead, Jim.  You take his phaser, I'll get his wallet
He's dead, Spock.  You get his Phaser, I'll take his ears.
He's dead?  I thought he was imitating Al Gore.
He's either dead or just an extremely heavy sleeper.
He's either dead or just very sleepy.
He's mostly dead, Jim.  Get Miracle Max.
He's not dead, he's "metabolically challenged".
He's not dead, Jim, he's just metabolically challenged.
Headline:  City Wants Dead To Pay For Cleanup
Headline:  Dead man found in cemetery
Hear about the two maggots making love in Dead Ernest?
Hey feel this.. kinda gooshy huh? Dead cats feel that way
I agreed to suspend my disbelief, not hang it until dead.
I am not dead yet, but watch for further reports.
I attend Cedarupanz Flying School, Deadwood, MD.
I don't wish my enemies dead... I say make them suffer.
I just adore cats.  Dead ones.
I think several of the people here are dead.
I thought I was dead, then I found that I was just in Alabama.
I thought you were dead...
I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
I was justified in using deadly farce.
I won't eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded, DEAD!
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. (BOREALIS)
I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead.
I'll tell you what's the matter! This parrot is dead!
I'm getting better! You'll be stone dead in a moment.
I'm not dead yet.. ...You'll be stone dead in a minute...
I'm not dead, I'm metabolically challenged.
I'm not dead, I'm metabollically challenged.
I'm not dead. I'm electroencephelographically challenged.
I'm not dead; I'm "metabolically challenged."
I'm spending a year dead for Tax Purposes
I've run out of sick leave so I'm calling in dead.
I've used up all my sick days... So I'm calling in dead.
If Bones were the GM and Jim a player: "He =looks= dead, Jim."
If I can't fix it, it's probably dead.
If I had two dead mousies, I'd give you one ...
If I were dead, I wouldn't be alive!
If life was fair, I would be dead.
If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead yet?
If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead?
If your god is dead, here - try one of mine.
In the long run, we're all dead.
Is God dead, or is He just swapped out?
Is it dead?  Well, it was coughin' up blood last night.
It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.
It's a dead man's party...Who could ask for more?
It's probably a bad day when, you find a dead fish in your underwear.
It's raining, It's pouring, the old man is... dead, Jim.
It's worse than that, he's dead Jim.
Ive been dead before. - Cpt. Spock
Just remember, being dead is no excuse for missing work.
Kirk's Motto: If you can bang it, it ain't dead!
Life isn't too short, it's just that you're dead for so LONG.
Living Dead Dating Service:  Let us dig up a date for you.
LUCIFERnet: Bring out your dead!
Me and the wife have sex doggy style; I roll over, she plays dead.
Monolith Golf Course: "My God, it's full of pars!"
More fun than a dead fish.
Murphy is dead, but that stupid bunny keeps on going...
My dreams are not dead - they're only sleeping.
Necrocomedion:  The Book of Dead Jokes.
Necrophilia: a dead art..
Necrotelecomnicon: Book of telephone numbers of the dead
NEWS FLASH:  Taglines discovered in Dead Sea Scrolls!
Night of the living dead chipmunks
No more sick days?  Call in dead!
No; not dead, "electroencephalographically challenged."
Noncombatant:  A dead Quaker.
Nothing is ever constant, unless it is dead.
Now that I am dead, I'm finally making a living.
Of course he's dead--I killed him.
Of people born in 1839, 100% who ate carrots are dead!
Old Grandad is dead but his spirits live on.
Old Grandad is dead, but his spirit lives on.
Only dead fish swim with the stream.
Out of sick days - think I'll call in dead.
Oxymoron:  half dead
Oxymoron: Night of the LIVING DEAD.
PASCAL is not dead; it just smells that way.
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
PC RAID... Kills program bugs, DEAD!
Pedestrians come in two types: Quick or Dead.
Pedestrians: The Quick or the Dead.
PeeWee Herman....Aw, why beat a dead horse..<grin>
People who stagnate rather than evolve are almost dead.
pitchfork (n.): used to unload dead babies from boxcars
Pitchfork:  a device for collecting dead babies
Pottanada:  A dead house plant.
Problem with immortality; you have to be dead to get it.
Put a gun against his head, pulled the trigger, now he's dead.
RAID Antivirus - Kills Virus's DEAD!!!
Real Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym.
Remember when sex was safe and jumping off bridges was deadly?
ROA 10.  A dead customer can't buy as much as a live one.
Robosmurf Meets the Living Dead Carebears
Saint:  A dead sinner revised and edited.
Sarasota: Newly-weds and nearly-deads
Send you green and white pictures of dead presidents to...
Seven dead and they blame Marine training...
She's dead, Jim.  Now get off her.  - McCoy
She's dead, Jim.  We'll have to wash the dishes from now on.
Shoes for Industry. Shoes for the dead.
SilmarillionWorst book by a dead man.
Since I've used up all of my sick days, I'm calling in DEAD!
Since I've used up my sick leave, I'm calling in dead...
Smoking kills live men and cures dead swine.
Sorry, a fatal error has occurred.  You're dead.
Sorry, a fatal error has occurred. You're dead.
Spending a year dead for tax purposes.
Spock, I thought you were dead!  I rebooted, Captain.
Spock? Why aren't you dead?
Tagline uncloaking dead ahead Sir...
Take this s**t to the DeadHorse Conference!!!
That is what I'd call a dead parrot!
The "He's dead, Jim!" taglines are dead, Jim!
The bounty says "dead OR alive," but I ain't carryin' ya.
The dead have peace.  We have Bill Clinton.
The dead outnumber the living more than 30 to 1.
The Dead Shall Walk the Earth and Dine on Flesh
The hemoglobin protein breaks down and - SPUNG! - you're dead.
The law hath not been dead, though it hath slept.
The man who dies with the most toys is dead.
The middle of the road holds yellow lines and dead skunks
The Moderator is Dead. Long Live the Moderator.
The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets!
The most cooperative man in this world is a dead man.
The Necrotelecomnicon:  Book of telephone numbers's of the dead.
The one who dies with the most toys is dead.
The only good leech is a dead leeeeeeeeeech!
The only GOOD Topic Cop is a DEAD one!
The only time you're pronounced something is "man and wife" and "dead".
The past is the only dead thing that smells sweet.
The trick in overcoming temptation, is to play dead.
There are more dead than living and they are increasing.
There is no point in beating a dead horse.
There's a dead bishop on the landing!
There's a dead bishop on the landing, dad!
These opinions are my own - I reserve the option to be DEAD WRONG!
They can have my gun when they pry it from my cold dead fingers.
Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
To be a human without passion is to be dead.
Tony the Tiger found dead, police suspect cereal killer.
Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym.
Two dead and one wounded = 2.5 dead bodies?
Two of perfect virtue: one dead, the other yet unborn.
Uh, forget the rope Luke... I thank he's already dead.
Unfortunately, Remo, when an assassin fails, he is usually dead.
Used all your sick days?  Call in dead!
Using TSO is like kicking a dead whale across the beach.
Very unfortunate.  We will be dead. * Worf
Want some advice?  Drop Dead.
Wanted dead or alive...one pink rabbit with a drum.
Wanted Dead or Alive: 1 pink rabbit with a drum.
Wanted, Dead or Alive:  Randall Terry.
WANTED:  Dead -or- Alive:  1 pink rabbit.  Usually seen with a drum.
WANTED:  DEAD AND ALIVE! - Schroedinger's Cat
War would end if the dead could return.
Warm beer and bread, they say, could raise the dead...
We think he's dead, but we're afraid to ask.
We're dead much longer than we're alive.  SO LIVE!
What a wonderful use for dead space....TAGLINES!
What good will all this living do me when I'm dead?
Whats the world coming to?  A dead end...
When we pretend that we're dead ...
When you become dead, you join a very large organization.
When you discover you are dead, avoid driving a car.
Where there's a will, there's a dead relative.
Who is the Grateful Dead, and why do they follow me?
Whoever dies with the most toys... is still dead!
Why wait until I'm dead to say good things about me?
Writing to Washington won't help -- he's dead!
You can have my sword when you pry it from my dead hands!
You can't teach a dead dog new tricks.
You're dead in this town, fella.
You're dead, Jim.
You're no failure...you're not dead yet!
Your wife is dead when the sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
*I* didn't DO IT, the *computer* did it! (Yeah, right!)
6809 programmers can DO IT with a bra.
6809 programmers can DO IT without sex.
A KING does it with his official seal
Aberdonians DO IT sheepishly.
ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures
ACCOUNTANTS do it for profit
Accountants DO IT to the bottom line.
ACCOUNTANTS do it with balance
ACCOUNTANTS do it with double entry
Accupuncturists DO IT with a small prick
ACCY MAJORS do it in numbers
ACROPHOBES get down
Activists try to force you to DO IT their way.
ACTORS do it in the limelight
ACTORS do it on camera
ACTORS do it on cue
ACTORS do it on stage
ACTORS play around
ACTORS pretend doing it
Actuaries DO IT in multidisciplined teams.
Actuaries DO IT in numbers.
Actuaries DO IT to prevent unnecessary losses.
Actuaries DO IT with little risk.
Actuaries DO IT with mathematicians.
ACUPUNCTURISTS do it with a small prick
ADA PROGRAMMERS do it by committee
ADA PROGRAMMERS do it in packages
ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method
ADVERTISING MAJORS do it with style
AEROBICS INSTRUCTORS do it for the heart
AEROBICS INSTRUCTORS do it in step
AEROBICS INSTRUCTORS do it until it hurts
AEROSPACE ENGINEERS do it with lift and thrust
AGENTS do it undercover
Agnostics DO IT without comprehension.
AI HACKERS do it artificially
AI HACKERS do it breadth first
AI HACKERS do it depth first
AI hackers DO IT iteratively.
AI HACKERS do it robotically
AI hackers DO IT with expertise.
AI HACKERS do it with robots
AI HACKERS do it with rules
AI HACKERS make a big production out of it
AI PEOPLE do it with a Lis(ss)p
AIR COURIERS do it all over the world in big jets {a}
Air couriers DO IT all over the world in big jets.
AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS do it by radar
AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS do it in the dark
AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS do it with their tongue
AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS tell pilots how to do it
AIRLIFTERS penetrate further, linger longer, and drop a bigger load
AIRLINE PILOTS do it at incredible heights
ALCOHOLICS do it bottles
ALEXANDER PORTNOY does it alone
ALGEBRAISTS do it with homomorphisms
ALGOL 68 PROGRAMMERS do it od
ALGOL PROGRAMMERS block it out
ALGORITHMIC ANALYSTS do it with a combinatorial explosion
ALPINISTS do it higher
ALVIN TOFFLER will do it in the future
Always listen to what experts say can't be done. Then DO IT.
AM DISC JOCKEYS do it with Modulated Amplitude
AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker
AMERICA finds it at Waldenbooks
AMERICANS do it patriotically
ANAESTHETISTS do it until you fall asleep
ANALOG HACKERS do it continuously
ANARCHISTS do it revoltingly
ANESTHETISTS do it painlessly
Anesthetists DO IT until you fall asleep.
Anglers DO IT on riverbanks.
ANGLERS do it with worms
ANIMAL BREEDERS do it with frequency and variation
ANIMATORS do it 24 times a second {b}
Animators DO IT 24 times a second.
Animators DO IT in real time.
ANNOUNCERS broadcast
ANSI does it in the standard way
ANTHROPOLOGISTS do it with culture
Anyone could DO IT with manuals.
APEXers DO IT in fancy boxes..
APL PROGRAMMERS are functional
APL PROGRAMMERS do it backwards
APL PROGRAMMERS do it in a line
APL programmers DO IT with glyphs.
APL PROGRAMMERS do it with style
APOLOGISTS do it orally
Archaeologists DO IT with mummies.
ARCHEOLOGISTS do it with mummies
ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old
ARCHERS use longer shafts
ARCHITECTS are responsible for the tallest erections
ARCHITECTS do it late
ARCHITECTS have great plans
ARCHITECTURE MAJORS stay up all night
ARLO GUTHRIE does it on his motorcycle
ARMOURS guns penetrate further
ARSONIST do it with fire
Arsonists DO IT with matches.
ARTILLERYMEN do it with a burst
ARTISTS are exhibitionists
ARTISTS do it by design
Artists DO IT expressively.
ARTISTS do it in the buff
ARTISTS do it with creativity
ARTISTS do it with emotion
ARTISTS do it with flair
ASSASSINS do it from behind
Assassins DO IT stealthily.
Assembler programmers DO IT a bit at a time.
Assembler programmers DO IT byte by byte.
Assembler programmers DO IT in hex.
ASSEMBLER PROGRAMMERS do it one-to-one
ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over
ASTRONAUTS do it in orbit
Astronauts DO IT in weightlessness.
ASTRONAUTS do it on the moon
ASTRONAUTS do it while spaced out
ASTRONOMERS can't do it with the lights on
ASTRONOMERS do it all night
Astronomers DO IT all over the universe.
ASTRONOMERS do it from light-years away
ASTRONOMERS do it in the dark
Astronomers DO IT on mountain tops.
ASTRONOMERS do it only at night
ASTRONOMERS do it under the stars
ASTRONOMERS do it whenever they can find a hole in the clouds
ASTRONOMERS do it while gazing at Uranus
ASTRONOMERS do it with all the stars
ASTRONOMERS do it with big bang
ASTRONOMERS do it with heavenly bodies
Astronomers DO IT with larger apertures.
ASTRONOMERS do it with long tubes
ASTRONOMERS do it with stars
ASTRONOMERS do it with their telescopes
ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus
ASTROPHYSICISTS do it with a Big Bang
AT&T does it in long lines
Atheists DO IT without guilt.
ATTORNEYS make better motions
AUDIOLOGISTS do it aurally
AUDITORS like to examine figures
AUSTRALIANS do it down under
AUTHORS do it by rote
Authors DO IT by the book.
AUTO MAKERS do it with optional equipment
AUTO MAKERS do it with standard equipment
AUTO MECHANICS do it under hoods, using oil and grease
Automation programmers DO IT for you.
BABIES do it in their pants
BABYSITTERS charge by the hour
BACH did it with the organ
BAILIFFS always come to order
BAKERS do it for the dough
BAKERS knead it daily
BAKERS let it rise
BALLERINAS do it en point
Ballerinas DO IT with their toes.
BALLET DANCERS do it on tip-toe
BALLET DANCERS do it with toes
BANANA PICKERS do it in bunches
BANANAS do it in bunches
BAND MEMBERS do it all night
BAND MEMBERS do it in a parade
BAND MEMBERS do it in front of 100,000 people
BAND MEMBERS do it in public
BAND MEMBERS do it in sectionals
BAND MEMBERS do it on the football field
Band members DO IT with rhythm.
Band members DO IT with their instruments.
BAND MEMBERS play all night
BANJO PLAYERS pluck with a stiff pick
BANKERS do it for money, but there is a penalty for early withdrawal
Bankers DO IT with interest, but pay for early with drawl.
Bankers DO IT with interest.
BANKERS have bigger assets
BANKERS like big deposits
BAPTISTS do it under water
BARBARIANS do it with anything
BARBERS do it and end up with soaping hair
BARBERS do it with Brylcreem
BARBERS do it with shear pleasure
BARTENDERS do it on the rocks
Baseball card collectors DO IT topps.
BASEBALL PLAYERS do it for a lot of money
BASEBALL PLAYERS do it head first
BASEBALL PLAYERS do it in series
BASEBALL PLAYERS do it in teams
BASEBALL PLAYERS do it with their bats
BASEBALL PLAYERS hit more home runs
BASEBALL PLAYERS make it to first base
BASIC PROGRAMMERS do it all over the place
BASIC programmers DO IT by the number.
BASIC PROGRAMMERS GOTO it
Basketball players DO IT through hoops.
Basketball players DO IT to score.
BASKETBALL PLAYERS score more often
BASS CLARINETS go deep
Bass players DO IT with something big and brown.
BASS PLAYERS just pluck at
BASS PLAYERS just pluck at it
BASSISTS do it with their fingers
BATMAN does it with Robin
BAYSEIANS probably do it
Beasts DO IT 666 times a night!
Beekeepers DO IT with hives.
BEEKEEPERS like to eat their honey
BEER BREWERS do it with more hops
BEER DRINKERS get more head
BEETHOVEN did it apassionately
BEETHOVEN was the first to do it with a full orchestra
BELL LABS PROGRAMMERS do it with UNIX
BELL-RINGERS pull it themselves
Beta testers DO IT first!
Beta testers DO IT for free.
BETA TESTERS do it looking for mistakes
Beta testers DO IT until it breaks.
BICYCLISTS do it off the road
BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds
BIKERS do it on wheels
BIOLOGISTS do it with clones
Biomedical engineers DO IT with artificial limbs.
BIRDERS do it in the bush
BIRDS do it, bees do it, even chimpanzees do it
Blackjack players DO IT double down.
BLONDES do it with a thermos {c}
Blondes DO IT with a thermos.
Blue Wave Tagline makers can DO IT  l o n g e r .
BO JACKSON knows doing it
BOARDHEADS do it with stiff masts
Bobbitt used to DO IT.
Body builders DO IT with muscle.
BODYBUILDERS pump it up
BOOKKEEPERS are well balanced
BOOKKEEPERS do it for the record
BOOKKEEPERS do it with double entry
BOOKWORMS only read about it
Boozers DO IT bottoms up.
BorgBurgers. We do it our way. Your way is irrelevant.
Borger King: We do it our way. Your way is irrelevant.
BOSSES delegate the task to others
BOUNCERS have more ejections
BOWLERS do it in the alley
Bowlers DO IT with a steady Ball !
Bowlers DO IT with bigger balls & a finger in each hole!
Bowlers DO IT with three fingers.
BOWLERS have bigger balls
BOXERS do it with fists
Boxers DO IT with their gloves on.
BOY SCOUTS do it in the woods
Boy scouts DO IT with brownies.
Boy scouts DO IT with sticks.
Branch davidians DO IT with fire.
BREASTSROKERS have better hip action
BRIAN does it conservatively
BRIAN heads the Conservative Party
BRICKLAYERS lay all day
Bridge players DO IT with finesse
BRIDGE PLAYERS don't need a partner, if they have a good hand
BRIDGE PLAYERS try to get a rubber
BUDDHISTS imagine doing it
Building contractors DO IT with major erections.
BUILDING INSPECTORS do it under the table
Bulletin Boarders DO IT Online!
BURGLARS do it without protection
Bus drivers DO IT in transit.
Bush Pilots DO IT out of sight.
But my little voice TOLD me to DO IT!
C programmers DO IT with pointers.
C programmers DO IT with the LARGE model!
C programmers DO IT with their nose in a manual.
C++ programmers DO IT with "oop, there it is!"
C++ programmers DO IT with class
C++ programmers DO IT with private members and public objects.
C++ programmers DO IT with their friends, in private.
Cadavers DO IT six feet under.
Cadavers DO IT stiffly.
Cadavers DO IT under wraps.
Cadavers DO IT with their eyes closed.
Calculus majors DO IT in increments.
Calculus students DO IT by parts.
Californians DO IT laid back.
Camels DO IT with props (Sopworth Camel was aeroplane w/a propeller).
Campers DO IT in a tent.
Canadians DO IT bilingually.
Canadians DO IT in english and french.
Cancan girls DO IT for kicks
Car customizers DO IT with a hot rod.
Cardiologists DO IT halfheartedly.
Cardiologists DO IT lightheartedly.
Cardiologists DO IT wholeheartedly.
Carpenters DO IT tongue-in-groove.
Carpet fitters DO IT on their knees.
Carpet layers DO IT on the floor.
Cartoonists DO IT with just a few good strokes.
Catholics DO IT a lot.
Cavaliers DO IT mounted.
Cavers DO IT deep, wet, & tight.
Cavers DO IT in the mud.
Cavers DO IT underground.
CBERS DO IT on the air.
CEOs DO IT at conventions.
CEOs DO IT in conference rooms.
CEOs DO IT to the rest of the company.
CFOs DO IT with flow
Cheer leaders DO IT cheerfully.
Cheerleaders DO IT between periods.
Cheerleaders DO IT enthusiastically.
Cheerleaders DO IT with more enthusiasm.
Cheerleaders DO IT with pom-poms.
Chefs DO IT for dessert.
Chefs DO IT in the kitchen.
Chefs DO IT with spice.
Chemical engineers DO IT in packed beds.
Chemical engineers DO IT under a fume hood.
Chemists DO IT in an excited state.
Chemists DO IT in test tubes.
Chemists DO IT in the fume hood.
Chemists DO IT on the bench!
Chemists DO IT organically.
Chemists DO IT periodically on table.
Chemists DO IT reactively.
Chemists DO IT with pipettes.
Chess players DO IT in their minds.
Chess players DO IT knightly!
Chess players DO IT with knights/kings/queens/bishops/mates.
Chiefs DO IT with tradition.
Chiropractors DO IT by manipulation.
Chiropractors DO IT, but they x-ray it first.
Choir boys DO IT unaccompanied.
Christians DO IT with amazing grace.
Chromatographers DO IT with packed columns.
Circuit designers DO IT with silicon.
Circuit designers DO IT with wires.
City planners DO IT with their eyes shut.
City street repairmen DO IT with three supervisors watching.
Civil engineers DO IT by reinforcing it.
Civil engineers DO IT in the dirt.
Civil engineers DO IT in the soil.
Civil engineers DO IT with an erection.
Civil engineers DO IT with their bridges (britches) up.
Civil engineers don't just DO IT, they give a dam.
Clarinets DO IT by sucking and blowing.
Clarinets squeak when they DO IT.
Clerics DO IT with their gods.
Climbers DO IT in harnesses.
Climbers DO IT on a high.
Climbers DO IT on rope.
Climbers DO IT up thin cracks.
Climbers DO IT with dangling nuts.
Climbers DO IT with their friends.
Climbers DO IT with their hands.
Clock makers DO IT mechanically.
Clowns DO IT for laughs.
Cluster analysts DO IT in groups.
COBOL hackers DO IT by committee.
COBOL programmers DO IT very slow.
COBOL programmers DO IT with bugs.
COBOL programmers DO IT with reams (of paper).
Coin collectors DO IT in all denominations.
Collectors DO IT in sets.
Columnists DO IT by the inch.
Comedians DO IT for laughs.
Commando's DO IT for the insertion.
Commodities traders DO IT in the pits.
Communications engineers DO IT 'til it hertz.
Communicators DO IT long distance.
Communists DO IT without class.
Complexity freaks DO IT with minimum space.
Composers DO IT by numbers.
Composers DO IT with a quill and a staff.
Composers DO IT with entire orchestras.
Computer engineers DO IT bit by bit.
Computer engineers DO IT with minimum delay.
Computer operators DO IT upon mount requests.
Computer operators DO IT with hard Disks.
Computer programmers DO IT bit by bit.
Computer programmers DO IT interactively.
Computer programmers DO IT logically.
Computer science students DO IT with hard drives.
Computer scientists DO IT bit by bit.
Computer scientists DO IT on command.
Computers DO IT in ASCII, except IBM's which use EBCDIC.
Conductors DO IT rhythmically.
Conductors DO IT with 12 to 16-inch sticks.
Conductors DO IT with the orchestras.
Confectioners DO IT sweetly.
Congregationalists DO IT in groups.
Congressmen DO IT in the house.
Conservatives DO IT right.
Construction workers DO IT higher.
Consultants tell others how to DO IT.
Contract programmers DO IT for money.
Cooks DO IT with grease and a lot of heat.
Cooks DO IT with oil, sugar and salt.
Copier repairmen DO IT with duplicity.
Cops DO IT arrestingly.
Cops DO IT at gun-point.
Cops DO IT by the book.
Cops DO IT undercover!
Cops DO IT with big guns!
Cops DO IT with cuffs.
Cops DO IT with electric rods.
Cops DO IT with night sticks.
Copy editors DO IT with style.
Cosmologists DO IT with a bang.
Court Reporters DO IT on a trial basis.
Cowboys DO IT on a horse.
Cows DO IT in leather.
Cross country runners DO IT in open fields.
Cross-word players DO IT crossly.
Cryptographers DO IT secretly.
CS111 students DO IT in binary.
CS111 students DO IT with interspersed comments.
CS111 students DO IT with orgs.
Cubans DO IT with cigars.
Cuckoos DO IT by proxy.
Cynics DO IT critically.
Dan Quayle would DO IT, if he could find anybody to DO IT with.
Dancers DO IT in leaps and bounds.
Dancers DO IT on the floor.
Dancers DO IT to music.
Dancers DO IT with grace.
Dancers DO IT with pumps.
Dancers DO IT with their high heels on.
Danes DO IT with little mermaids
Dark horses DO IT come-from-behind.
Data processors DO IT in batches.
DB people DO IT with persistence.
DBasers DO IT in fields.
Deadbeats DO IT without paying for it.
Deadheads DO IT with Jerry.
Debaters DO IT in their briefs.
Debaters DO IT orally.
Deep-sea divers DO IT under extreme pressure.
Delivery men DO IT at the rear entrance.
Democratic presidential candidates DO IT & make you pay for it later.
Democratic presidential candidates DO IT underwater.
Democratic presidential candidates DO IT until they can't remember.
Democrats DO IT to rich people.
Demolitions experts DO IT till they explode.
Demonstrators DO IT on the street.
Dental hygienists DO IT till it hurts.
Dentists DO IT in your mouth.
Dentists DO IT orally.
Dentists DO IT prophylactically.
Dentists DO IT with drills and on chairs.
Dentists DO IT with filling.
Deprogrammers DO IT wid de computers.
Deprogrammers DO IT with sects.
Detectives DO IT under cover.
Digital hackers DO IT off and on.
Dispatchers DO IT with frequency.
Ditch diggers DO IT in a damp hole.
Ditch diggers DO IT in the dirt.
Divers DO IT better under pressure!
Divers DO IT deeper.
Divers DO IT for a score.
Divers DO IT in rubber suits.
Divers DO IT in three positions.
Divers DO IT underwater.
Divers DO IT with a buddy.
Divers DO IT with a twist.
DJs DO IT on request.
DJs DO IT on the air.
DO IT in concrete, it stays harder longer.
DO IT now! There might be a law against it tomorrow!
DO IT today...tomorrow it will be illegal! <--Huh?
DO IT tomorrow.  You've made enough mistakes for one day.
Doctors DO IT in the O.R.
Doctors DO IT on call.
Doctors DO IT wearing rubber gloves.
Doctors DO IT with injection.
Doctors DO IT with patience.
Doctors DO IT with patients.
Doctors DO IT with pills.
Doctors take two aspirin and DO IT in the morning.
Don't ask why, just DO IT.
Don't DO IT with a banker.  Most of them are tellers.
Don't hate yourself in the morning - DO IT all day
Doners DO IT for life.
Donut makers DO IT in the hole.
DOS programmers can DO IT in a box (OS/2 1.3).
DOS users DO IT with cryptic, old-fashioned commands.
Drama students DO IT for applause.
Drama students DO IT with an audience.
Dreamers DO IT perfectly.
Drivers DO IT with their cars.
Druids DO IT in the bushes.
Druids DO IT naturally.
Druids DO IT with animals.
Drummers DO IT in 4/4 time.
Drummers DO IT longer.
Drummers DO IT louder.
Drummers DO IT with a better beat.
Drummers DO IT with both hands and feet.
Drummers DO IT with great rhythm.
Drummers DO IT with rhythm.
Drummers DO IT with their wrists.
Drunks DO IT all over their shoes.
Dry Cleaners DO IT the French way.
Dungeon masters DO IT any way they feel like.
Dungeon masters DO IT anywhere they damn well please.
Dungeon masters DO IT behind a screen.
Dungeon masters DO IT in ways contrary to the laws of physics.
Dungeon masters DO IT to you real good.
Dungeon masters DO IT whether you like it or not.
Dungeon masters DO IT with dice.
Dungeonmasters DO IT with complete control.
Dyslexic particle physicists DO IT with hadrons.
Economists DO IT at bliss point.
Economists DO IT cyclically.
Economists DO IT in an edgeworth box.
Economists DO IT on demand.
Economists DO IT risk-free (in reference to risk-free interest rate).
Economists DO IT with a dual.
Economists DO IT with an atomistic competitor.
Economists DO IT with crystal balls.
Economists DO IT with interest.
Egotists DO IT better than anyone else.
Electrical engineers are shocked when they DO IT.
Electrical engineers DO IT on an impulse.
Electrical engineers DO IT with faster rise time
Electrical engineers DO IT with large capacities.
Electrical engineers DO IT with less resistance.
Electrical engineers DO IT with more frequency and less resistance.
Electrical engineers DO IT with more power and at higher frequency.
Electrical engineers DO IT with super position.
Electrical engineers DO IT without shorts.
Electricians DO IT in their shorts.
Electricians DO IT just to plug it in.
Electricians DO IT until it hertz.
Electricians DO IT until it Hz.
Electricians DO IT with 'no shorts'.
Electricians DO IT with a charge!
Electricians DO IT with a spark.
Electricians DO IT with spark.
Electricians DO IT without shorts.
Electronics technicians DO IT in a solid-state.
Elephants DO IT for peanuts.
Elevator men DO IT on all floors
Elevator Men DO IT up and down.
Elitists only DO IT with the best.
Elves DO IT in fairy rings.
Emailers DO IT between headers.
Embalmers DO IT with unnatural fluids.
Employers DO IT to employees.
EMT's DO IT in ambulances.
Engine builders DO IT without missing a stroke.
Engineers DO IT any way they can.
Engineers DO IT at calculated angles.
Engineers DO IT in MUDD.
Engineers DO IT in practice.
Engineers DO IT in simple harmonic motion.
Engineers DO IT precisely.
Engineers DO IT roughly.
Engineers DO IT to a first order approximation.
Engineers DO IT with a right-handed coordinate system.
Engineers DO IT with less energy and greater efficiency.
Engineers DO IT with precision.
English DO IT with an accent.
English majors DO IT literally.
English majors DO IT with an accent.
English majors DO IT with books.
English majors DO IT with style.
English teachers DO IT with dangling participles.
Entomologists DO IT with bugs.
Entomologists DO IT with insects.
Entrepreneurs DO IT with creativity and originality
Environmentalists DO IT until it is green.
Equestrians DO IT in leather.
Escapees DO IT on the lam.
Evangelists DO IT with Him watching
Every time I DO IT at least proves that I can still DO IT.
Executives DO IT in briefs.
Executives DO IT in three piece suits.
Existentialists DO IT alone.
Faith healers DO IT with whatever they can lay their hands on.
Falsettos DO IT two octaves higher.
Fantasy role players DO IT all night.
Fantasy role players DO IT all weekend.
Fantasy role players DO IT in a dungeon.
Fantasy role players DO IT in a group.
Farmers DO IT all over the countryside.
Farmers DO IT in the dirt.
Farmers DO IT on a corn field.
Federal Express couriers will absolutely, positively DO IT overnight.
Federal Express employees DO IT overnight.
Fencers DO IT in a full lunge.
Fencers DO IT in the fleche.
Fencers DO IT with a thrust.
Fencers DO IT with long thrusts.
Fencers DO IT with three feet of sword.
Fighter pilots DO IT at incredible speeds.
Finance professors don't DO IT at all; apparently.
Firemen DO IT best in the heat.
Firemen DO IT wearing rubber.
Firemen DO IT with a big hose.
Firemen DO IT with a lot of heat.
Fishermen DO IT for reel.
Fishermen DO IT with long rods!
Flagpole sitters DO IT in the air.
Flyers DO IT in the air.
Flyers DO IT on top, upside down, or rolling.
FM disc jockeys DO IT in stereo and with high fidelity.
Football players DO IT in pads.
Football players DO IT offensively/defensively.
Foresters DO IT in trees.
Forgers DO IT hot.
FORTH programmers DO IT from behind.
FORTRAN programmers DO IT with double precision.
FORTRAN programmers DO IT with soap.
FORTRAN programmers just DO IT.
Fortune tellers DO IT with crystal balls.
Four-wheelers DO IT with better grip.
Fraternity men DO IT with their little sisters.
Freefall Sex: Why would anyone want to DO IT with you???
Fruit farmers can DO IT with melons.
Fuzzy theorists (and Zen Monks) both DO IT and don't DO IT.
Gamblers DO IT on a hunch.
Gamblers DO IT with a kidde (kitty).
Game wardens DO IT with animal instinct.
Gamers DO IT by the rules.
Gardeners DO IT by trimming your bush.
Gardeners DO IT in bed.
Gardeners DO IT on the bushes.
Gardeners DO IT twice a year and then mulch it.
Geneticists DO IT with sick genes.
Geographers DO IT continentally.
Geographers DO IT everywhere.
Geographers DO IT globally.
Geologists DO IT eruptively, with glow, and always smoke after wards.
Geologists DO IT in folded beds.
Geologists DO IT to get their rocks off.
Geologists DO IT with rocks.
Geomancers DO IT with numbers.
Geometers DO IT constructively.
Girl scouts DO IT with cookies.
Gnomes are too short to DO IT.
Gnomes DO IT with fishing rods (etc...).
Gnomes DO IT with mushrooms.
GNU programmers DO IT for free & don't give a damn about look & feel.
Go ahead! DO IT! You can always apologize later.
Golfers DO IT as a matter of course.
Golfers DO IT by the stroke.
Golfers DO IT in 18 holes.
Golfers DO IT with balls.
Golfers DO IT with clubs.
Golfers sometimes lose their balls when they DO IT.
Good printers DO IT without wrinkling the sheets.
Graduates DO IT by degrees.
Grammarians DO IT in conjunction.
Grammarians DO IT with a dangling participle.
Grammarians DO IT with clause.
Grammarians DO IT with interjection.
Grammarians DO IT with punctuation.
Grave diggers die to DO IT.
Grave diggers DO IT as a matter of corpse (pardon the pun).
Grave diggers DO IT with shovels.
Greeks DO IT with their brothers and sisters.
Greyhound drivers DO IT with fewer stops.
Guitar players (left handed) DO IT strung upside down.
Guitar players DO IT six at a time!
Guitar players DO IT with a g-string.
Gymnasts DO IT with grace.
Gypsies DO IT with crystal balls.
Hackers DO IT a little bit.
Hackers DO IT absolutely.
Hackers DO IT all night.
Hackers DO IT at link time.
Hackers DO IT attached.
Hackers DO IT automatically.
Hackers DO IT bottom up.
Hackers DO IT bug-free.
Hackers DO IT by the numbers.
Hackers DO IT concurrently.
Hackers DO IT conditionally.
Hackers DO IT detached.
Hackers DO IT digitally.
Hackers DO IT discretely.
Hackers DO IT during downtime.
Hackers DO IT during pm.
Hackers DO IT efficiently.
Hackers DO IT faster.
Hackers DO IT forever even when they're not supposed to.
Hackers DO IT globally.
Hackers DO IT graphically.
Hackers DO IT immediately.
Hackers DO IT in a hrri.
Hackers DO IT in batches.
Hackers DO IT in dumps.
Hackers DO IT in less space.
Hackers DO IT in libraries.
Hackers DO IT in loops.
Hackers DO IT in o(n log n).
Hackers DO IT in parallel.
Hackers DO IT in sextran.
Hackers DO IT in stacks.
Hackers DO IT in the microcode.
Hackers DO IT in the software.
Hackers DO IT in trees.
Hackers DO IT in two states.
Hackers DO IT indirectly.
Hackers DO IT interactively.
Hackers DO IT iteratively.
Hackers DO IT loaded.
Hackers DO IT locally.
Hackers DO IT randomly.
Hackers DO IT recursively.
Hackers DO IT reentrantly.
Hackers DO IT relocatably.
Hackers DO IT sequentially.
Hackers DO IT synchronously.
Hackers DO IT top down.
Hackers DO IT with all sorts of characters.
Hackers DO IT with bugs.
Hackers DO IT with computers.
Hackers DO IT with DDT.
Hackers DO IT with demons.
Hackers DO IT with editors.
Hackers DO IT with fewer instructions.
Hackers DO IT with high priority.
Hackers DO IT with insertion sorts.
Hackers DO IT with interrupts.
Hackers DO IT with key strokes.
Hackers DO IT with open windows.
Hackers DO IT with phantoms.
Hackers DO IT with quick sorts.
Hackers DO IT with recursive descent.
Hackers DO IT with side effects.
Hackers DO IT with simultaneous access.
Hackers DO IT with slaves.
Hackers DO IT with their fingers.
Hackers DO IT with words.
Hackers DO IT without a net.
Hackers DO IT without arguments.
Hackers DO IT without detaching.
Hackers DO IT without proof of termination.
Hackers DO IT without protection.
Hackers DO IT without you even knowing it.
Hackers don't DO IT -- they're hacking all the time.
Hairdressers DO IT with curling irons.
Ham operators DO IT with a meat slicer (butchers).
Ham operators DO IT with frequency.
Ham radio operators DO IT till their gigahertz.
Ham radio operators DO IT with higher frequency.
Ham radio operators DO IT with more frequency.
HAMS DO IT around the world.
Hams DO IT till their giga-hertz!
Hams DO IT with more frequencies
Hams DO IT with more frequency...
Handymen DO IT with their tools.
Handymen DO IT with whatever is available.
Hang-gliders DO IT in the air.
Hardware buffs DO IT in nanoseconds.
Hardware hackers DO IT closely coupled.
Hardware hackers DO IT electrically.
Hardware hackers DO IT intermittently.
Hardware hackers DO IT noisily.
Hardware hackers DO IT on a bus.
Hardware hackers DO IT over a wide temperature range.
Hardware hackers DO IT with AC and DC.
Hardware hackers DO IT with bus drivers.
Hardware hackers DO IT with charge.
Hardware hackers DO IT with connections.
Hardware hackers DO IT with emitter-coupled logic.
Hardware hackers DO IT with female banana plugs.
Hardware hackers DO IT with male connectors.
Hardware hackers DO IT with maximum ratings.
Hardware hackers DO IT with power.
Hardware hackers DO IT with resistance.
Hardware hackers DO IT with transceivers.
Hardware hackers DO IT with uncommon emitters into open collectors.
Harpists DO IT by pulling strings.
Hawaiians DO IT volcanicly.
Hedgehogs DO IT cautiously.
Hedgehogs DO IT with 1000 pricks.
Helicopter pilots DO IT while hovering.
Helicopter Pilots DO IT with auto rotation.
Hermits DO IT alone.
Hikers DO IT naturally.
Historians DO IT for prosperity.
Historians DO IT over long periods of time.
Historians DO IT with dates.
Hobbits DO IT only if it isn't dangerous.
Hockey players DO IT between periods.
Hockey players DO IT in 90 minutes.
Hockey players DO IT on the ice.
Hockey players DO IT with a snap-shot.
Hockey players DO IT with long, curved sticks.
Hockey players DO IT with their sticks.
Hockey players DO IT; so what?
Homeopaths DO IT in potency.
Horn players DO IT French style.
Horseback riders DO IT in the stable.
Hot bun bakers DO IT crossly.
Housework can kill you if you DO IT right.
How ya going to DO IT? IBM Blue it!
Hunters DO IT in the bush.
Hunters DO IT with a bang.
Hunters DO IT with a big gun.
Hurdlers DO IT every 10 meters.
Hydrogeologists DO IT till they're all wet.
Hypertrichologists DO IT with intensity.
Hypnotists DO IT beguilingly.
Hypnotists DO IT on the count of three.
I always tell the truth. Even if I have to lie to DO IT.
I didn't DO IT! It's really San Andreas' Fault!
I didn't DO IT, my modem did! <---Tagline stolen from some kinky fool!
I didn't DO IT; nobody SAW me; you can't PROVE it; the Sheep are Liars!
I just DO IT.
I wasn't there; I didn't DO IT; you can't prove it. <---Who cares?
I/O hackers DO IT without interrupt.
Ichthyologists DO IT with fish.
If she's a ski bunny, I'd like to show her how rabbits DO IT
If you have nothing to do, don't DO IT here.
If you wanna DO IT right, then why DO IT?
Immortals DO IT longer.
Indianapolis 500 pit crews DO IT under 21 seconds.<--= Unhappy women!
Indians DO IT with a feather.
Inductors DO IT without physical contact.
Industrial arts teachers DO IT with big tools.
Infantrymen are ordered to DO IT.
Infantrymen DO IT in the trench.
Infectious disease researchers DO IT with breeding and culture.
Insanity is fun if you DO IT right.
Insurance men DO IT as a matter of policy.
Interior decorators DO IT all over the house.
International relations majors DO IT with diplomacy.
Interpreters DO IT manually and orally.
Introverts DO IT alone.
Inventors find a way to DO IT.
Investment analysts DO IT with security.
It is easier to admire hard work if you do not DO IT.
Italians DO IT better.
Iterators DO IT, DO IT, DO IT, DO IT....
Jamaican bobsledders DO IT poorly, but they make movies about it.
Janitors DO IT with a plunger.
Jedi Knights DO IT forcefully.
Jet skiers DO IT with more thrust.
Jockeys DO IT at the gate.
Jockeys DO IT on the horse-back.
Jockeys DO IT with their horses.
Jockeys DO IT with whips and saddles.
Joggers DO IT on the run.
Journalists DO IT write.
Judges DO IT in chambers.
Judges DO IT with better rulings.
Jugglers DO IT in a flash.
Jugglers DO IT with more balls.
Jugglers DO IT with their balls in the air.
Jurors DO IT at her majesties pleasure (uk).
Kamakazis DO IT once.
Kayakers DO IT rapidly, then roll over and DO IT again.
Korfball players DO IT with the other sex.
Ku Klux Klanners DO IT under the sheets.
Landlords DO IT every month.
Laser printers DO IT without making an impression.
Lawyers DO IT in their briefs.
Lawyers DO IT on a table.
Lawyers DO IT on a trial basis.
Lawyers DO IT to anyone & everyone & as often as they can!
Lawyers DO IT to you.
Lawyers DO IT with appeal.
Lawyers DO IT with clause.
Lawyers DO IT with extensions in their briefs.
Lawyers DO IT, which is a great pity.
Lawyers would DO IT but for `hung jury'.
Left handers DO IT right.
Let's DO IT write, uh, rite, uh, oh hell, just DO IT!
Let's get dangerous ... DO IT in a subway! <--During the Rush Hour??
Librarians DO IT by the book.
Librarians DO IT on the shelves.
Librarians DO IT quietly.
Lifeguards DO IT on the beach.
Linemen DO IT with big cables.
Linguists DO IT with their tongues.
Lions DO IT with pride.
LISP hackers DO IT in lambda functions.
LISP hackers DO IT with RPLACD.
LISP programmers DO IT by recursion.
LISP programmers DO IT without unexpected side effects.
Loans officers DO IT with security.
Logic programmers DO IT with unification/resolution.
Logicians DO IT consistently and completely.
Logicians DO IT or they do not DO IT.
Long jumpers DO IT with a running start.
Long-distance runners DO IT on a predetermined route.
Lots of hackers DO IT sloooooooowwwwwwwwllllllllyyyyyyyy.
Louisianians DO IT differently.
Lurkers DO IT off-line..
MAC programmers DO IT in windows.
MAC users can only DO IT with menus.
MAC users DO IT with mice.
MAC users don't DO IT, they just point and click on the genital icon.
Machine coders DO IT in bytes.
Machine language programmers DO IT very fast.
Machine language programmers DO IT with a monitor.
Machinists DO IT with screw drivers.
Magic users DO IT with flare.
Magic users DO IT with their hands.
Magicians DO IT with mirrors.
Magicians DO IT with rabbits.
Mailmen DO IT at the mail boxes.
Malingerers DO IT as long as they can't get out of it.
Managers DO IT by delegation.
Managers have someone DO IT for them.
Managers make others DO IT.
Marathon runners DO IT for hours.
Marching band members DO IT at camp.
Marching band members DO IT in patterns.
Marching band members DO IT on the field.
Marching band members DO IT with a leader.
Marines DO IT on land, sea or air.
Marketing reps DO IT on commission.
Married people DO IT with frozen access.
Married politicians DO IT to wife and country!
Martyrs die trying to DO IT.
Marxists DO IT with class consciousness.
Masons DO IT secretively.
Masturbators DO IT singlehandedly.
Match makers DO IT with singles.
Match makers DO IT with sticks.
Math majors DO IT by example.
Math majors DO IT by induction.
Math majors DO IT with a pencil.
Mathematicians DO IT as a finite sum of an infinite series.
Mathematicians DO IT as continuous function.
Mathematicians DO IT associatively.
Mathematicians DO IT by the numbers.
Mathematicians DO IT commutatively.
Mathematicians DO IT constantly.
Mathematicians DO IT continuously.
Mathematicians DO IT discretely.
Mathematicians DO IT exponentially!
Mathematicians DO IT forever if they can do one and can do one more.
Mathematicians DO IT functionally.
Mathematicians DO IT homologically.
Mathematicians DO IT in fields.
Mathematicians DO IT in groups.
Mathematicians DO IT in imaginary domain.
Mathematicians DO IT in imaginary planes.
Mathematicians DO IT in numbers.
Mathematicians DO IT in theory.
Mathematicians DO IT on smooth contours.
Mathematicians DO IT over and under the curves.
Mathematicians DO IT parallel and perpendicular.
Mathematicians DO IT partially.
Mathematicians DO IT rationally.
Mathematicians DO IT reciprocally.
Mathematicians DO IT reflexively.
Mathematicians DO IT symmetrically.
Mathematicians DO IT to prove themselves.
Mathematicians DO IT to their limits.
Mathematicians DO IT totally.
Mathematicians DO IT transcendentally.
Mathematicians DO IT transitively.
Mathematicians DO IT variably.
Mathematicians DO IT with a minkowski sausage.
Mathematicians DO IT with imaginary parts.
Mathematicians DO IT with linear pairs.
Mathematicians DO IT with logs.
Mathematicians DO IT with nobel's wife.
Mathematicians DO IT with odd functions.
Mathematicians DO IT with prime roots.
Mathematicians DO IT with relations.
Mathematicians DO IT with rings.
Mathematicians DO IT with sum.
Mathematicians DO IT with their real parts.
Mathematicians DO IT without limit.
MBAs DO IT to learn.
MDs only DO IT if you have appropriate insurance.
Mechanical engineering majors DO IT in gear.
Mechanical engineers DO IT automatically.
Mechanical engineers DO IT with fluid dynamics.
Mechanical engineers DO IT with stress and strain.
Mechanics DO IT from underneath.
Mechanics DO IT on their backs.
Mechanics DO IT with oils.
Mechanics DO IT with their tools.
Mechanics have to jack it up and then DO IT.
Med techs DO IT 24 hours a day.
Med techs DO IT on the bench.
Med techs DO IT stat.
Med techs DO IT whenever doctors tell them to.
Med techs DO IT with machines.
Medical researchers DO IT with mice.
Medical researchers make mice DO IT first.
Medics DO IT in an orderly fashion.
Medievalists DO IT with fake, fluffy weapons.
Merchants DO IT to customers.
Mermaids can't DO IT.
Metallurgists DO IT in the street.
Meteorologists DO IT at all levels.
Meteorologists DO IT unpredictably.
Meteorologists DO IT with forecasts.
Methodists DO IT by numbers.
Mice DO IT every day, but sometimes need their balls cleaned.
Microbiologists DO IT with culture.
Military truckers DO IT bigger, faster and further.
Mimes DO IT without a sound.
Mimes don't DO IT; everyone hates a mime.
Miners DO IT deeper than divers.
Ministers DO IT on sundays.
Ministers DO IT vicariously.
Missile engineers DO IT in stages.
Models DO IT beautifully.
Models DO IT in any position.
Models DO IT with all kinds of fancy dresses on.
Modem manufacturers DO IT with all sorts of characters.
Modem owners DO IT on-line.
Modem users DO IT with a handshake.
Moderation: A dirty job but someone has to DO IT.
Moderators DO IT for the ugly thrill of it.
Molecular biologists DO IT with hot probes.
Monks DO IT by hand.
Moonies DO IT within sects.
Morticians DO IT gravely.
Mothers DO IT with their children.
Motorcycle riders DO IT with chains.
Motorcyclists DO IT between cars.
Motorcyclists DO IT in leather.
Motorcyclists DO IT in sidecars.
Motorcyclists DO IT two-up.
Motorcyclists DO IT while leaning.
Motorcyclists DO IT with spread legs.
Motoxers DO IT in the dirt.
Mountain climbers DO IT on the rocks.
Mountain climbers DO IT till they drop.
Mountain climbers DO IT with ropes.
Movie stars DO IT on film.
Mud wrestlers do it dirty.
MUDDERS DO IT over the internet.
Multitaskers DO IT everywhere: concurrently.
Music hackers DO IT at 3 am.
Music hackers DO IT audibly.
Music hackers DO IT in concert.
Music hackers DO IT in scores.
Music hackers DO IT with more movements.
Music hackers DO IT with their organs.
Music hackers want to DO IT in real time.
Music majors DO IT in a chord.
Musicians DO IT in 2-part harmony.
Musicians DO IT in the practice room.
Musicians DO IT on a higher scale.
Musicians DO IT rhythmically.
Musicians DO IT with rhythm.
MVS programmers would DO IT, if RACF would let them.
Native Americans DO IT with reservations.
Necrophiliacs DO IT cryptically.
Necrophiliacs DO IT until they are dead tired.
Nerds DO IT in ROT13.
Nerds DO IT with pocket protectors.
Network engineers DO IT under desks.
Network managers DO IT in many places at once.
New users DO IT after reading the help file.
New users DO IT after receiving advice.
New Yorkers DO IT in a jam.
Newspaper boys DO IT in front of every door.
NO! NO! Don't DO IT! <---Huh? Even if it's SAFE sex?
Non-smokers DO IT without huffing and puffing.
Novices DO IT with instructions.
Now only if I can DO IT � as much as I think about it.
Nuclear engineers DO IT hotter than anything else.
Nukes DO IT with more power.
Number theorists DO IT "69".
Nuns DO IT out of habit.
Nurses DO IT painless.
Nurses DO IT with care.
Nurses DO IT with intensive care.
Nurses DO IT with tlc.
Obsessive-compulsive people DO IT habitually.
Oceanographers DO IT down under.
Of course I can cook, but I never DO IT on the first date.
Offline E-mailers DO IT all night.
Oil refiners DO IT crudely.
Operators DO IT person-to-person.
Optimists DO IT without a doubt.
Optometrists DO IT eyeball-to-eyeball; they always see eye-to-eye.
Optometrists DO IT face-to-face.
Organists DO IT with both hands and both feet.
Organists pull out all the stops and DO IT with their feet.
Orienteers DO IT in the woods.
Orienteers would DO IT, if they knew where they were.
Orthodontists DO IT with braces.
Orthopedists DO IT till it breaks.
OS people would DO IT if only they didn't 'deadlock'.
OS/2 SMP users can DO IT with multiple engines.
OS/2 users can DO IT in parallel.
OS/2 users can DO IT in two places at the same time.
OS/2 users DO IT protected.
OSHA inspectors DO IT safely.
Osteopaths DO IT until you feel no pain.
Pacific Northwest hackers DO IT with loggin' sorts.
Pacifists DO IT non-violently.
Packleds DO IT with borrowed parts
Pagans DO IT in a circle.
Pagans DO IT in the Woad
Pagans DO IT naturally.
Pagans DO IT with mother earth.
Paid my auto insurance. Had to sell the car to DO IT!
Painters DO IT out in the field w/brightly colored sticky substances.
Painters DO IT with longer strokes.
Paladins DO IT good or not at all.
Paladins DO IT Good.
Paladins don't DO IT.
Pantomimists DO IT silently.
Paparazzi DO IT to the rich and famous.
Paratroopers DO IT by vertical insertion.
Particle physicists DO IT energetically.
Particle physicists DO IT with *charm*.
PASCAL programmers DO IT for an educational experience.
PASCAL programmers DO IT from the top down
PASCAL users DO IT with run time support.
Pastors DO IT with spirit.
Pathologists DO IT to death and beyond!
Pathologists DO IT with corpses.
Patients DO IT in bed, sometimes with great pain.
Pediatricians DO IT with children.
Pedophiles DO IT on their knees.
Perfectionists DO IT better.
Perverted hackers DO IT with pops.
Pessimists can't DO IT.
Pessimists DO IT with a sigh.
Pharmacists DO IT with drugs.
Pharmacists DO IT with side effects.
Pharmacologists DO IT by prescription.
Pharmacologists DO IT to a response.
Pharmacologists DO IT via the oral route.
Pharmacologists DO IT with affinity.
Philosophers DO IT for pure reasons.
Philosophers DO IT in their minds.
Philosophers DO IT with their minds.
Philosophers think they DO IT.
Photographers DO IT at 68 degrees or not at all.
Photographers DO IT fish eyed.
Photographers DO IT in synch.
Photographers DO IT in the DARK! =-)
Photographers DO IT while exposing.
Photographers DO IT with "enlargers".
Photographers DO IT with a flash.
Photographers DO IT with a shutter.
Photographers DO IT with a zoom.
Photographers DO IT with their subjects.
Phototherapists DO IT with the lights on.
Physical therapists DO IT until it hurts.
Physicists DO IT a quantum at a time.
Physicists DO IT at the speed of light.
Physicists DO IT at two places in the universe at one time.
Physicists DO IT attractively.
Physicists DO IT energetically.
Physicists DO IT in 4 dimensions.
Physicists DO IT in black holes.
Physicists DO IT in waves.
Physicists DO IT like einstein.
Physicists DO IT magnetically.
Physicists DO IT on accelerated frames.
Physicists DO IT particularly.
Physicists DO IT repulsively.
Physicists DO IT strangely.
Physicists DO IT with black bodies.
Physicists DO IT with charm.
Physicists DO IT with frequency until it hertz.
Physicists DO IT with large expensive machinery.
Physicists DO IT with rigid bodies.
Physicists DO IT with tensors.
Physicists DO IT with the help of an absolute BOHR.
Physicists DO IT with their vectors.
Physicists DO IT with uniform harmonic motion.
Physics majors DO IT at the speed of light.
Pigs DO IT in the mud.
Pilots DO IT higher.
Pilots DO IT in the cockpit.
Pilots DO IT on the wing.
Pilots DO IT to get high.
Pilots DO IT with flare.
Ping-pong players DO IT with paddles.
Pipe fitters DO IT snugly.
Pirates DO IT with stumps.
Plasma physicists DO IT with everything stripped off.
Plasterers DO IT hard.
Players DO IT in a team.
Plumbers DO IT under the sink.
Plumbers DO IT where its wet.
Plumbers DO IT with plumber's friends.
Podiatrists DO IT with someone else's feet.
Poker players DO IT with a full house.
Poker players DO IT with a royal flush.
Poker players DO IT with their own hand.
Poker players DO IT with two pair.
Pole vaulters DO IT with long flexible instruments.
Politicians DO IT for 4 years then have to get re-elected.
Politicians DO IT to everyone.
Politicians DO IT to make the headlines.
Politicians DO IT, but they stay in too long & make you pay for it.
Polymer Chemists DO IT in chains.
Pool cleaners DO IT wet.
Popes DO IT in the woods.
Porcupines DO IT ... very, very carefully.
Post office workers DO IT overnight, guaranteed for $8.90.
Presbyterians DO IT decently and in order.
Prevaricators DO IT with tall tales.
Printers DO IT with pins.
Printers DO IT with ribbons.
Printers DO IT with their own type.
Printers DO IT without wrinkling the sheets.
Prisoners DO IT with balls and chains.
Probate lawyers DO IT willingly.
Procrastinators DO IT later.
Procrastinators will DO IT tomorrow.
Procrastinators will DO IT when they get around to it.
Proctologists DO IT in the end.
Proctologists DO IT with a finger up where the sun don't shine.
Proctology is a dirty job but someone has to DO IT.
Professors DO IT by the book.
Professors DO IT from a grant.
Professors DO IT with class.
Professors don't DO IT; they leave it as an exercise for their students.
Professors forget to DO IT.
programmers DO IT all night.
Programmers DO IT bottom-up.
Programmers DO IT by pushing and popping.
Programmers DO IT In Code
Programmers DO IT in higher levels.
Programmers DO IT in iteration :)
Programmers DO IT in loops.
Programmers DO IT in microseconds.
Programmers DO IT in software.
Programmers DO IT on command.
Programmers DO IT top down
Programmers DO IT with bugs.
Programmers DO IT with Bytes and Nibbles!
Programmers DO IT with disks.
Programmers DO IT with fewer instructions!
Programmers will DO IT all night, but only if you are debugged.
Project managers DO IT on schedule.
Prostitutes DO IT at illegal addresses.
Prostitutes DO IT for profit.
Protestants DO IT unwillingly.
Psychiatrists DO IT for at least fifty dollars per session.
Psychiatrists DO IT on the couch.
Psychologists DO IT with rats!
Psychologists think they DO IT.
Public speakers DO IT on a soap box.
Public speakers DO IT orally.
Puppeteers DO IT with their mouths.
Pure mathematicians DO IT rigorously.
Pyrotechnicians DO IT with flare.
Pyrotechnicians experts DO IT with a blinding flash.
Pyrotechnics DO IT with a blast.
Quakers DO IT quietly.
Quantum mechanics DO IT discreetly
Quantum mechanics DO IT in leaps.
Quantum physicist DO IT on time.
Quarterbacks do it with a snap.
Racers DO IT with their horses.
Racquetball players DO IT off the wall.
Racquetball players DO IT with blue balls.
Radar engineers DO IT till their GHz (giga-hertz).
Radio amateurs DO IT with more frequency.
Radio amateurs DO IT with two meters.
Radio engineers DO IT till it megahertz.
Radio engineers DO IT with frequency.
Radiocasters DO IT in the air.
Radiologists DO IT with high frequency.
Rafters DO IT rapidly.
Rafters DO IT with long, hard strokes.
Railroaders DO IT on track.
Rally drivers DO IT sideways.
Rangers DO IT in the woods.
Rapier fighters DO IT with longer thrusts.
Ray tracers DO IT on any available platform.
Real Programmers DO IT in assembly.
Receptionists DO IT all day at their desks.
Receptionists DO IT for anyone.
Receptionists DO IT on the phone.
Receptionists DO IT with men and women.
Receptionists DO IT with the general public.
Recursive programmers DO IT over and over and over.....
Recyclers DO IT again and again and again.
Repellers DO IT with ropes.
Reporters DO IT daily.
Reporters DO IT for a story.
Reporters DO IT for the sensation it causes.
Reporters DO IT in front of a camera.
Reproductive physiologists DO IT for a living.
Republicans DO IT to poor people.
Research professors DO IT only if they get grants.
Researchers DO IT with control.
Revenue Canada employees DO IT to everyone.
RISC assembly programmers DO IT 1073741824 times a second.
Robots DO IT mechanically.
Rocket scientists DO IT with higher thrust.
Ronald Reagan forgot how to DO IT.
Roofers DO IT on top.
Roofers DO IT up on top.
Roosters DO IT coquettishly.
Rowers DO IT with a fast drive.
Rowers DO IT with a long stroke.
Royal guards DO IT in uniforms.
Rubbish collectors DO IT by emptying their sacks.
Rugby players DO IT with leather balls.
Rugby players DO IT with odd shaped balls.
Rugby players DO IT with their hookers.
Runners DO IT with vigor.
Sail hackers DO IT with [control].
Sailors DO IT ad nauseam.
Sailors DO IT after cruising the seven seas.
Sailors DO IT on (ahem) the waves!
Sailors DO IT with seamen.
Salesmen DO IT with their tongues.
Sax players DO IT in groups.
Scientists DO IT experimentally.
Scientists DO IT with plenty of research.
Scotsmen DO IT with amazing grace.
Scotsmen DO IT with the sporans.
Scotsmen just DO IT.
Scuba divers DO IT deeper.
Scuba divers DO IT with a buddy.
Sculptors DO IT with clay.
Second fiddles DO IT vilely.
Secretaries DO IT after assertiveness training.
Secretaries DO IT every day, not just on "Secretary's Day."
Secretaries DO IT for their bosses.
Secretaries DO IT from 9 to 5.
Secretaries DO IT when their bosses aren't looking.
Secretaries DO IT with correspondents.
Secretaries DO IT with the rest of the Cabinet.
Seismologists DO IT when the earth shakes.
Semanticists DO IT with meaning.
Senators DO IT on the floor.
Sergeants DO IT privately.
Set theorists DO IT in groups.
Set theorists DO IT with cardinals.
Shakespearean scholars DO IT, or don't DO IT, that is the question.
Sheep DO IT when led astray.
Sheep DO IT with Kiwis (NZ has a reputation for that sort of thing).
Sheepherders DO IT on the lam.
Signalers DO IT with frequency till it hertz.
Simulation hackers DO IT with models.
Simulators DO IT continuously & discretely.
Singers DO IT  E V E R Y W H E R E !
Singers DO IT with microphones.
Skaters DO IT on ice.
Skeet shooters DO IT 25 times in 9 different positions.
Skeletons DO IT with a bone.
Skiers DO IT spread eagled.
Skiers DO IT with poles.
Skunks DO IT instinctively.
Skydivers DO IT at great heights.
Skydivers DO IT in the air.
Skydivers DO IT sequentially.
Skydivers DO IT spread-eagle.
Skydivers never DO IT without a chute.
Slaves DO IT for the masters.
Small boat sailors DO IT by pumping, rocking, and ooching.
Smalltalk programmers DO IT graphically.
Snakes DO IT in the grass.
Snipers DO IT with a single shot.
Snobs DO IT better than you.
Soap manufacturers DO IT with lava
Soap manufacturers DO IT with safeguard.
Soap manufacturers DO IT with zest.
Soccer players DO IT for 90 minutes -the length of a soccer game.
Soccer players DO IT for kicks.
Sociologists DO IT with class.
Sociologists DO IT with standard deviations.
Sociology majors DO IT with a conscience.
Software designers DO IT over and over until they get it right.
Software designers DO IT with system.
Software testers DO IT over and over again.
Solar astronomers can't DO IT where the sun don't shine.
Solar astronomers DO IT all day.
Solar astronomers DO IT with flare.
Soldiers DO IT in a uniform fashion.
Soldiers DO IT in an orderly fashion.
Soldiers DO IT on command.
Soldiers DO IT standing erect.
Soldiers DO IT with a machine gun.
Some DO IT better on disk!
Some printers DO IT quietly.
Some printers DO IT with lasers.
Sonar men DO IT aurally.
Sopranos DO IT in unison.
Sparrows DO IT for a lark (hearsay).
Speakers DO IT with pointers.
Speaking clocks DO IT on the third stroke.
Spectroscopists DO IT until it hertz.
Spectroscopists DO IT with frequency and intensity.
Speech pathologists DO IT orally.
Speech Teachers DO IT orally.
Spell casters DO IT with their rods/staves/wands.
Spelunkers DO IT in narrow dark places.
Spelunkers DO IT in the hole.
Spelunkers DO IT underground.
Spelunkers DO IT while wearing heavy rubber protective devices.
Spies DO IT under cover.
Sprinters DO IT after years of conditioning.
Sprinters DO IT in less than 10 seconds.
SQL programmers DO IT with relatives (relational dabasess).
Square dancers DO IT in a group of 8.
Stage hands DO IT behind the scenes.
Stage hands DO IT for every scene.
Stage hands DO IT in the dark.
Stage hands DO IT on cue.
Stage hands DO IT on the fly.
Stamp collectors DO IT in sets.
Stand-up comics DO IT standing up.
Starship captains DO IT with enterprise.
Statisticians DO IT continuously but discretely.
Statisticians DO IT when it counts.
Statisticians DO IT with 95% confidence.
Statisticians DO IT with large numbers.
Statisticians DO IT with only a 5% chance of being rejected.
Statisticians DO IT with standard deviations.
Statisticians DO IT with two-tail t tests.
Statisticians DO IT; after all, it's only normal.
Statisticians probably DO IT.
Stewardesses DO IT in the air.
Stragglers DO IT in the rear.
Structured programmers DO IT OD.
Students DO IT as exercises.
Students DO IT on a guaranteed loan.
Sub mariners DO IT deeper.
Super computer users DO IT in parallel.
Surfers DO IT in the tube.
Surfers DO IT in waves.
Surfers DO IT standing up.
Surfers DO IT with their wives; if unmarried, with their girl friends.
Surgeons DO IT incisively.
Swashbucklers DO IT with three feet of steel.
Swimmers DO IT in the water.
Swimmers DO IT under water.
Swimmers DO IT with a breast stroke.
Swimmers DO IT with better strokes.
Sysops DO IT moderately.
Sysops DO IT while monitoring.
Sysops DO IT with their computers.
System managers DO IT with pencils.
Tagline readers DO IT on the bottom.
Tankers DO IT but leave tracks.
Tankers DO IT with armor.
Tankers DO IT with protection.
Tap dancers DO IT with their feet.
Taxi drivers DO IT all over town.
Teachers DO IT 50 times after class.
Teachers DO IT every period.
Teachers DO IT in front of everyone.
Teachers DO IT repeatedly.
Teachers DO IT with class.
Teachers DO IT with instruction.
Teachers make _you_ DO IT till you get it right.
Tech writers DO IT manually.
Techies DO IT in the blackout (with power tools).
Techies DO IT till it Hz.
Technicians DO IT with frequency.
Technicians DO IT with greater frequency.
Technicians DO IT with high voltage probes.
Technicians DO IT with mechanical assistance.
Technicians DO IT with precision!
Teddy Bears DO IT in their bear skins.
Teenage males can DO IT every 20 minutes. Really!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles DO IT in the sewer.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles DO IT with pizza.
Telemarketers DO IT over, and over, and over .........
Telix users DO IT with SALT!
Tennis players (or jugglers) DO IT with colored balls.
Tennis players DO IT in sets.
Tennis players DO IT in their shorts.
Tennis players DO IT with balls.
Tennis players DO IT with love!
Test makers DO IT sometimes/always/never.
Testators DO IT willingly.
Testers DO IT over and over.
Texans DO IT with oil.
Thank God for SysOps! But why do they DO IT?. <---DUMB Question!
The aspiring hurdler that couldn't DO IT ... Name was Wun Hung Lo.
The blind DO IT with feeling.
The deaf DO IT with a sign.
The Police DO IT at Dunkin' Donuts.
Theater majors DO IT with an audience.
Theater techies DO IT in the dark, on cue.
Thelemites DO IT 93 ways!
Theoreticians DO IT conceptually.
Theoreticians DO IT with a proof.
There's never time to DO IT right, but always time to DO IT over.
Thieves DO IT in leather.
Thieves DO IT when you're not looking.
Thieves DO IT with tools.
To err is human! To DO IT at 40 MHz is automation!
Topologists DO IT on rubber sheets.
Toxicologists DO IT to beyond the no-effect level.
Trainees DO IT as practice.
Trampoline acrobats DO IT in the air.
Trampoline acrobats DO IT over a net.
Trampoline acrobats DO IT swinging from bars.
Trampoline acrobats DO IT under the big top.
Transsexuals DO IT right eventually.
Transvestites DO IT dressed.
Trashed my To Do List; I won't DO IT anyway.
Tree men DO IT in more crotches than anyone else.
Trekkies DO IT at high warp speed.
Tribiological engineers DO IT by using lubricants.
Trombone players DO IT faster.
Trombone players DO IT in 7 positions.
Trombone players DO IT with slide action finger control.
Trombone players DO IT with slide oil.
Trombone players DO IT with their "f" attachment.
Truck drivers DO IT on the road.
Trumpet players can't DO IT!
Trumpet players DO IT with tighter lips.
Tuba players DO IT deeper.
Tuba players DO IT with big horns.
Tuba players usually DO IT on one and three.
Tv repairmen DO IT in sync.
Tv repairmen DO IT with a vertical hold.
Tv repairmen DO IT with their tubes.
Two meter operators DO IT with very high frequency.
Typesetters DO IT between periods.
Typesetters DO IT with perfect composure
Typists DO IT in triplicate.
Typists DO IT without wrinkling the sheets.
Typographers DO IT to the letter.
Typographers DO IT with tight kerning.
Ultimate players DO IT horizontally.
Undertakers DO IT with corpses.
Union employees DO IT with a quick strike.
Union workers DO IT with solidarity.
UNIX doesn't DO IT; their users DO IT.
UNIX don't DO IT.
UNIX programmers DO IT in the background.
UNIX programmers DO IT with (c)-shells.
UNIX programmers DO IT with (k)orn.
UNIX programmers DO IT with forks.
UNIX programmers just DO IT cryptically.
UPS employees DO IT overnight.
Urologists DO IT in a bottle.
Usenet freaks DO IT with hard drives.
Usenet news freaks DO IT with many groups at once.
Ushers DO IT in the dark.
Usurers DO IT with high interests.
Vacationers DO IT in a leisure way.
Vagrants DO IT everywhere.
Vanguard DO IT ahead of everyone else.
Vegetarians don't DO IT with meat.
Veterinarians DO IT with sick animals.
Vicars DO IT in church.
Vicars DO IT with amazing grace.
Vicars DO IT with candlesticks!
Vice principals DO IT with discipline.
Viewers DO IT with eyes.
Vilifiers say others don't DO IT well.
Villagers DO IT provincially.
Violinists DO IT gently.
Violinists DO IT with bows and strings.
Violoncellists DO IT low.
Virgins DO IT only once in their whole lifetime.
Virgins don't DO IT yet.
VM programmers DO IT virtually all the time.
VM systems programmers DO IT three levels deep.
VM systems programmers DO IT with emulated devices.
Volunteers DO IT For FREE
Volunteers DO IT in their spare time.
Volunteers DO IT willingly.
Voters will decide who can DO IT.
Voyagers DO IT in between the sea and the sky.
Vulcans DO IT logically.
Waiters and waitresses DO IT for tips.
Waitresses DO IT for tips.
Waitresses DO IT with chopsticks.
Water skiers DO IT with cuts.
Weathermen DO IT with crystal balls.
Weathermen DO IT with storm.
Weavers and BBSers DO IT a thread at a time.
Welders DO IT with hot rods.
Welfare recipients DO IT while everyone else pays for it.
Well diggers DO IT in a hole.
Why do we DO IT? We don't know!
Why don't we DO IT in the road?
Why you do something is more important than how you DO IT!
Wind surfers DO IT standing up.
Windows users DO IT with mice.
Windoze NT programmers still can't DO IT.
Wizzo's DO IT with jamming.
Women DO IT with instructions, Just ask them.
Wreckers DO IT with big iron balls.
Wrestlers DO IT on mats.
Wrestlers try not to DO IT on their backs.
X programmers DO IT with clients and servers.
X-ray astronomers DO IT with high energy.
You disgust me ... DO IT some more!
Zen Buddhists DO IT because they want to DO IT.
Zipper makers DO IT on the fly.
Zoologists DO IT with animals.
^ ^  Did old Hank really DO IT this way  ^ ^
����ſ��� The Devil made me DO IT. �ſ����ſ
�lpha testers DO IT first, �eta testers DO IT last!<---Sloppy seconds?
Freefall Sex: "Lover's Leap" takes on new meaning!
Freefall Sex: a whole new meaning to dropping your partner
Freefall Sex: Acrophobic's nightmare, nympho's Dream!
Freefall Sex: Adds new meaning to "sex under the stars"
Freefall Sex: Ah, the couple that Flies together, dies together!
Freefall Sex: And you thought AIDS was Dangerous!
Freefall Sex: Auto chute deployment; newest form of coitus interuptus!
Freefall Sex: Blondes will believe ANYTHING!
Freefall Sex: Caution! Activity *May* be More Hazardous Than Smoking!
Freefall Sex: First imagined by Hindenberg as his wife fell overboard!
Freefall Sex: For the Last Kick, try it without a parachute!
Freefall Sex: Gives new meaning to the term: Freedom of Expression!
Freefall Sex: Helluvalot better'n eatin' pizza alone on a Sat night!
Freefall Sex: Honey, shouldn't we BOTH have parachutes!???!
Freefall Sex: Honey,why didn't you have to sign the same waivers as I?
Freefall Sex: I bet your mother never warned you about This!
Freefall Sex: I was always told not to leap into relationships.
Freefall Sex: If at first you don't succeed then it's not for you!
Freefall Sex: It wasn't a leap of Faith but a leap of Love - Rev. Jim
Freefall Sex: It wasn't a leap of Faith but a leap of Love - Rev. Pat
Freefall Sex: It's not risky, is it?
Freefall Sex: It's not risky, is it? (Of course not!!???)
Freefall Sex: It's not the same as doin' it in the back of a '57 Chevy!
Freefall Sex: It's why Skylab was so popular with the Astronauts!
Freefall Sex: Leapin' Lovers, Batman! What'll they think of Next?!
Freefall Sex: Leapin' Lovers, Batman; Batgirl taught me a new trick!
Freefall Sex: Lounge Lizards Leaping 4 Love or Lust? Next on Oprah!
Freefall Sex: Next best thing to being in Orbit!
Freefall Sex: No where to be found in the Kama Sutra <banned!>
Freefall Sex: No! Don't pull the cord, yet! I'm just about to...oohhh!
Freefall Sex: Not recommended for Nymphomaniacs!
Freefall Sex: Now accepting applicants for Night Excursions.
Freefall Sex: Now we know why SkyLab was so popular for the Astronauts!
Freefall Sex: Off we go into the wild blue yonder...Oooh! Ahh! SPLAT!!!
Freefall Sex: Oprah reveals her distressing addiction: Next on 20/20!
Freefall Sex: Really makes you "aware" of the "experience"
Freefall Sex: Researchers Wanted:Apply in person.Ready, willing, able!
Freefall Sex: The collected memoirs of Skylab Astronauts,On Sale Now!
Freefall Sex: The Holodeck has "Other" uses, Geordi! Try a "REAL" Girl!
Freefall Sex: The Longer the Fall, the Deeper the Penetration!
Freefall Sex: The Mile High Club gone one better!!
Freefall Sex: The TRUE Reason for "Women in Space"!
Freefall Sex: The Wright Brothers don't know what they're missin'!
Freefall Sex: These youngsters these days Leap into Everything!
Freefall Sex: They never mentioned THIS in Sex Education Class! Oh,Yes!
Freefall Sex: To Leap or not to Leap! That is the Question!
Freefall Sex: To Test "action vs reaction" at a Personal Level.
Freefall Sex: Wanna make a Real Impression? Do it without a Parachute!
"Energize!" said Picard.. and a pink bunny appeared....
(-*-)    <- Darth Tribble in his TIE Fighter
(A)bort (R)etry (H)oney, get my .45
* * * <- Tribbles  � � � <- Tribbles wearing condoms
* * * <- Tribbles _ _ _ <- After fight with Godzilla
*Origin:  Your Mama's Bed!
*Real* Trekkies work out at the He's Dead Gym.
... If we don't stop censorship now, we're �����ked.
..I want to be a moderator when I grow up!....
<=I used to be a necrophilliac..But then I got a divorce!=>
A bush in the face is better than bird shit in the hand.....
A tribble is good eating, just remember to singe the fur off first!
All right, who's been cooking hot dogs on the Warp Drive?
BEER-More than just *another* breakfast drink!
Coffee and Cigarettes! The true breakfast of champions!
Cross a tagline and a tribble? You get a full HD
Damn it Jim! I'm a masachistic love slave, not a doctor!
Don't touch me! I've got a lawyer & I'm not afraid to use it!
EDLIN 1.0 Word processor of choice for The New Castle News!
Everybody welcome Mrs President and Mr. Clinton!
He's dead Jim. You get his tricorder, I'll get his wallet
Hey Odo, got any more of that Jell-O in the 'fridge? Odo?
I am Galagher of Borg..Your watermellon will be assimilated.
I am Gates of Borg, your CPU will be assimilated.
I am Gates of Borg, your harddrive will be assimilated.
I am Ginsu of Borg. You will be assimilated. But wait, there's more!
I am Kirk of Borg, you....Wait! This is the wrong generation!
I am Magoo of Borg. You will be..uh..uh..now where are those glasses?
I am Windows of Borg...Click on Icon to be assimilated..
I didn't lose my mind...It's backed up on tape somewhere!
I hear John Bobbit always leaves SMALL tips.....
I swear officer!..I didn't know she was inflatable!
Iraqi Bingo: B-52... F-16... M-1... F-18... F-117...
It's Ensign Pillsbury! He's BREAD, Jim!
Lawyers are like Sperm: 1 in a Million turn out to be Human.
Life is like sex..First ya get tied up, then whipped, then...
Life's a Virgin....A Bitch is too easy!
Lorena Bobbit Virus: turns your hard drive into a floppy.
Machines used in demolition are called Cats. Coincidence? I think not!
Monkey in blender = Rhesus Pieces!
Oh, I'm sorry...were the voices in my head bothering you?
Opus & Bill for 96' !!!!!!!
People who shouldn't breed...Next on Geraldo!...
Please return stewardess to original upright position.
Pope Goes to Mount Olive. Popeye damn near kills him.
Reality?? Tried it...made me ill....
Seek revenge! Shit on a pigeon!
She slices, She Dices, She Circumsises! It's Lorena Bobbit!
She's dead Jim...But she's still warm..Flip a coin for her?
Silly rabbit, electro-shock thereapy is for kids!
Support your local Medical Examiner: Die Strangely
The Do-It-Yourself Borg kit. Some Assimilation required.
The Ginsu Blade! Endorsed by Jeff Dahmer and Lorena Bobbit!
Virus check complete.  All viruses functioning normally.
What? Me Worry?!
Why is there brail at an ATM drive up machine??
Windows 8783837773.2c! We finaly got it right.(Bill Gates)
With friends like mine....Who needs ENEMAS?
WOMEN = Weird Obnoxious Male Enticing Nymphs
You have a fine personality..but not for a human
You Klingon son, you killed my bastard! Wait a minute...
"42? 7 and a half million years and all you can come up with is 42?!"
"Afterwards, the universe will explode for your pleasure."
"Arthur Phili... I've done you before, haven't I?"
"But, how are you, metalman?" Ford "Very depressed." Marvin
"Computer, open this hatch or I'll take an axe to your memory."
"Computer, you and I need to have a little talk."
"Did that robot say Zaphod Beblebrox?" -- Ford Prefect
"Do you really want the answer?  The ULTIMATE answer?" - Deep Thought
"Don't be alarmed, Arthur Dent... Be very, very frightened."
"Don't worry, it's all part of the program." - The Mice
"Earth:  Mostly Harmless."
"Ford, you're turning into a penguin.  Stop it."  --Arthur Dent
"Forty-two," said Deep Thought, with infinite magesty and calm.
"Forty-Two?"
"Go bang your heads together, four-eyes!"
"Go for it!  Make my fraggin solar year" - Officer Lou Welch.
"He's called Arthur, but I think he's harmless." Lintilla
"Here I am, brain the size of a planet..."
"Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect?
"I don't want to die now! I've still got a headache!" Arthur Dent
"I just got all these bulldozers and things to lie in front of..."
"I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my life style"
"I want you to know I'm feeling very depressed right now."
"I'll tell you about it later" choked Zaphod as all three passed out.
"I'm so cool you can store meat in me." -- Zaphod
"I'm so hip I have trouble seeing over my pelvis." -- Zaphod
"Let me guess; Horrible. Am I warm?" - Trillian
"Life," said Marvin, "Don't talk to ME about life!"
"Mister Desdiato is spending a year dead for tax purposes."
"Mostly Harmless"
"My name is not important." - Slartibartfast
"My name?" said the old man sadly, "is Slartibartfast."
"Oh freddled gruntbuggly, thy mixturations are to me..."
"Oh no, not again!" -- Bowl of Petunias
"Oh, excuse me, but my Vogon space cruiser is here.  Bye!"
"Oh, just looking for flying saucers -- green ones!", Ford Prefect
"Resistance is useless! Resistance is useless!"
"Share and enjoy!" - Sirius Cybernetics
"So long, and thanks for all the fish!"
"So this is it, we're going to die!" -- Arthur Dent
"The point is I am now a perfectly safe penguin!" -- Ford Prefect
"There's a frood who really knows where his towel is."
"There's no point in acting all surprised about it." the Vogons
"This is true... but unhelpful." Arthur
"This must be Thursday--I never could get the hang of Thursdays." Dent
"Time is an illusion.  Lunch time, doubly so." -- Ford Prefect
"Time passed, which, basically, is its job."
"Time," said Arthur weakly,"is not currently one of my problems."
"Vell, Zaphod's just zis guy you know?" - Gag Halfrunt.
"Vogons!" snapped Ford. "We're under attack!"
"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"
"Well that about wraps it up for God" -- Oolan Caloophid
"What a depressingly stupid machine," said Marvin and trudged away.
"What did you do to the computer, Monkey-Man?" -- Zaphod
"What is there one could loathe about me?" "Would you like a list?"
"What's that?" -- Arthur   "Something blue." -- Ford
"What's the meat in it?" "Perfectly Normal Beast."
"Where are we?" -- Arthur  "Er... somewhere green." -- Ford
"Who do you think you are, Zaphod Beebelbrox?"  "Count the heads."
"You got a towel with you?"
"You sass that hoopy Ford Prefect?"
"You want me to suck your towel?"-- Zaphod Beeblebrox
"Zaphod, you look good.  The extra head suits you."
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
"I'm a lawyer."     "Honest?"     "No, the regular kind."
"Why may not that be the skull of a lawyer?" - Shakespeare
A country man between two lawyers, is like a fish between two cats.
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless paid for.
A rooster clucks defiance - but a lawyer...
A society that needs disclaimers has too many lawyers.
Anagram - Lawyers / Sly ware.
Behead a Lawyer for Allah!
Bury a lawyer 12 feet under. Deep down they're nice.
By reading this, you're either a lawyer or a nut
Compiling... Linking... Dialing Copyright Lawyer...
Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy.
Criminal Lawyer is an oxymoron.
Criminal lawyer is redundant redundant.
Criminal Lawyer--a redundancy
Criminal lawyer.  Isn't that redundant?
Criminal Lawyer: a redundant expression
Criminal Lawyer? ... REDUNDANT!
Criminal lawyer? Isn't that redundant?
Cross a lawyer with a blonde? There are things even a blonde won't do.
Cross a vegetable with a lawyer and you get an artichoke with no heart.
Cybersell: firm created by lawyers to generate off-topic advertisements.
Deguerian perfect lawyer for Koresh. Both think they're GOD.
Devolution: Lawyer --> politician --> crook.
Difference 'tween a cockroach an' a lawyer? Oh IS there one?
Disaster is a bus load of lawyers going over a cliff with empty seats.
Disbarium: The best way to get rid of a lawyer.
Divorce is a game played by lawyers.
Do I pay for two lawyers?
Do the lawyers ever do informal discovery?
Do we need lawyers if we mediate?
Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer? No. Good!
Does my lawyer handle the appeal if I want one?
Does the lawyer ever sell out his client for a bigger fee?
Don't touch me. I've got a lawyer and I'm not afraid to use him!
Earth almost full - delete lawyers (Y,y)?
Eternity .... One lawyer waiting for another.
Ethical question: Drowning lawyer - drive on or watch?
Everyone needs access to a good: car mechanic, doctor and a lawyer!
Everyone needs access to a good: car mechanic, doctor and lawyer!
Everyone needs access to good: car mechanics, doctor and a lawyer!
Feed a cold and starve a lawyer.
Female lawyer without briefs: Solicitor?
Fertilizer: A lawyer's summation.
First be sure you have a good lawyer, then go ahead.
First thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
First thing we'll do is kill all the lawyers!
First, kill all the lawyers--then waste Barney.
First, you put the lawyers up against a wall. . .
Fleas can be taught nearly everything a lawyer can.
Four hundred pages, when lawyers are concerned, is filler.
Gibb's Law: Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another.
Glad to be of help/service. In lawyer rates, that will be $500.00.
God's wonders: A lawyer, and an honest man.
Good lawyer can get sodomy reduced to following too close.
Good lawyers are even rarer than honest politicians.
Good lawyers can get sodomy reduced to following to close
Good lawyers can get sodomy reduced to following too close!
Good lawyers get sodomy reduced to following too close.
Government of the people, by the lawyers, for the conservatives.
Government of the people, by the lawyers, for the liberals.
Guardhouse lawyers are generally found in the guardhouse!
Having passed on, the lawyer found himself with the devil in a deal.
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.
He must have had a pretty bad lawyer...
Headline:  Snake Bites Lawyer And Dies
Headline: Snake bites lawyer and he dies.
Headline: Snake bits lawyer and he dies.
Hell hath no fury like lawyer of a woman scorned
Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned!
Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of woman scorned!
Hello, the lawyer lied.
HELP ME . . . I've fallen and I can't reach my lawyer!
Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange.
Hi, I'm Bob, your date; this is Chuck, my lawyer.
Hit me, I'm a lawyer.
Hmmm? Are you talking about catfish or lawyers?
Honesty is the best policy...unless you can afford a good lawyer.
How are lawyers and sperm alike? Only one in a million do anything.
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
How do I find a lawyer?
How do I know if I have a good enough lawyer?
How do lawyers charge in matrimonial cases?
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope.
How do you know when a lawyer is lying? His lips move.
How do you save a drowning lawyer? Throw him a rock.
How does a bankruptcy lawyer expect to be paid?
How does my lawyer learn the facts about my case?
How important is cost in choosing a lawyer?
How is my lawyers secretary important to me?
How many lawyer jokes are there? 3. The rest are fact!
How many lawyer jokes are there? One: the rest are truths.
How many lawyer jokes are there? Three. The rest are facts.
How many lawyer jokes? 3, the rest are true stories.
How many lawyers can roof a house? How thin can you slice 'em?
How many Lawyers does it take to screw up a light bulb?
How to tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
I can't help it - I'm a lawyer.
I don't believe ANY lawyer, but I know what the government will do!
I just tested out my pit bull. He spit the lawyers arm out.
I just wanted to ask if you have any brass lawyers.
I need a lawyer to protect me from my lawyer.
I never knew there were lawyers with morals. --Al Calavicci.
I never met a lawyer that could pass a bar.
I promise I won't bite, said the swimming Lawyer to the shark.
I promise I won't bite, the swimming lawyer told the shark.
I take an instant dislike to lawyers. It saves time.
I tell my kids I play piano in a whore house. I'm actually a lawyer.
I used to be a lawyer - so sue me.
I want to talk to my lawyer! Sure, he's in the next cell...
I want to talk to my lawyer.
I'd rather trust a used car salesman than a lawyer!
I'm a lawyer - I always go were I'm not invited!
I'm a lawyer. Honest? No, the regular kind.
I'm a lawyer. Honest? No, the usual kind.
I'm crabby cuz; Lawyers.
I'm not a lawyer, but I play one in this echo....
I'm not a lawyer, I'm a prosecutor.  There is a difference.
I've got this problem. I wanna be a lawyer but I wanna go to Heaven.
IANAL-I Am Not A Lawyer.
Ideal weight for a lawyer, 2 1/2 lbs including the urn.
If all lawyers were hung, the nymphomaniacs would overrun
If at first you don't succeed, shoot your lawyer!
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need lawyers!
If James Bond was a lawyer, he'd be licensed to will.
If law school is so hard, why so many lawyers?
If laws were outlawed, only outlaws would be lawyers.
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.
If This Is Hell - Where Are the Lawyers?
If this is hell, then where are all the lawyers?
If this is hell, where's the lawyer?
If we're limiting doctor incomes, let's do lawyers, too.
If you have no bad people you don't need good lawyers.
If you think talk is cheap, try hiring a lawyer.
If you want a lawyer tagline, the first consultation is $50/tagline.
If your lawyer doesn't know the law he should at least know the judge.
Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another.
Is a female lawyer without her briefs a solicitor?
Is he a criminal lawyer or a civil lawyer? Is there a difference?
Is it all right to date or have sex with my lawyer?
Is there a lawyer in the house?  <BLAM!>  Any more?
Is there a lawyer in the house?  <BLAM> Is there another?
Is there a lawyer in the house? *BANG!* Any more?
Is there a lawyer in the house? *BANG!* Are there any more?
Is there a Lawyer in the House? *BLAM!* Any more?
Is there a lawyer in the house? <BAM> Anymore?
Is there a lawyer in the house? <BLAM! > Is there another?
Is there a Lawyer in the house? <BLAM!> Ok, any more?
Is there a lawyer in the house? <BOOM> ... Anymore?
Is there a lawyer in the house? BANG! Any more?
Is there a lawyer in the house? Yes? <BANG> Okay, any more?
Isn't criminal lawyer a redundancy?
Isn't criminal lawyer a redundant term?
It won't hurt but a little, the swimming lawyer told the shark.
It'll never stand-up in court -Lorena Bobbits Lawyer
It'll never stand-up in court. --Lorena Bobbitts Lawyer.
It's 2 AM! The bar's closing. No more lawyers admitted!
It's a Lawyer, Spock - set phasers to Main and Mutilate!
It's a lawyer, Spock--set phasers on MAIM!
JABBA - IANAL:  I Am Not A Lawyer
Jeez, you start havin' fun, they send in the lawyers!
Judge: An unemployed lawyer who wears a black dress.
Jury (n): 12 persons who decide who has the best lawyer
Jury - A Group Chosen to Decide Who has the Best Lawyer.
Jury -- Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
Jury: 12 people selected to decide who has the better lawyer.
JURY: 12 people who determine which side has the better lawyer.
JURY: 12 people who determine which side has the funnier lawyer.
Jury: A group chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
Jury: a group set up to decide who hired the better lawyer.
Jury: Group chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
Jury: Twelve people who decide which side has the best lawyer.
Just remember lawyers do it to you legally.
Justice is much swifter now that they've abolished all lawyers.
Justice is what a lawyer gets when a judge agrees with him.
Keep America beautiful.. properly dispose of your lawyer.
Kick the lawyers off the bar! (That's where the girls dance!)
Kill a lawyer, before it goes into politics!
Kill a lawyer, put spikes on the rear of an ambulance!
Kill all the lawyers! (but one).
Kill the lawyers first.
Killed a lawyer, put spikes on the back of my ambulance!
Know how to get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope.
Koresh selects Deguerian as lawyer. Both think they're GOD.
Koresh's last words... I'd Kill a lawyer, before it goes into politics!
Lady Justice Blindfold: Hates to see lawyers make deals.
Lady lawyers are appealing.
Lady lawyers are appealling.
Lady lawyers LOVE hung juries.
Lawyer (n): Larval stage of Politician.
Lawyer + Godfather = an offer you can't understand
Lawyer - the larval form of Politician
Lawyer - the larval stage of a Politician.
Lawyer in posh restaurant? Ambiance chaser.
Lawyer Testing:Cause some things even RATS won't do.
Lawyer \LAW-yer\ v. 1. Uses the law to get yers.
Lawyer's favorite Japanese corporation: Sosumi ( so sue me).
Lawyer's houses are built on the heads of fools. --G. Herbert.
Lawyer's houses are built on the heads of fools. --Herbert.
Lawyer.....One skilled in the circumvention of the law.
Lawyer.....One skilled in the circumvention of the law. --Ambrose Bierce.
Lawyer: a cat who settles disputes between mice.
Lawyer: An ambulance chaser.
Lawyer: I prefer representing female; system clearly biased in her favor.
Lawyer: Justice as Politician: Honest.
Lawyer: One skilled in circumvention of the law.
Lawyer: One skilled in the circumvention of the law.
Lawyer: One who calls a 137 page document a brief.
Lawyer: Someone trained in circumventing the law.
Lawyer: the larval form of a politician.
Lawyer: The only animal that defecates from both ends....
Lawyers *ARE* the problem.
Lawyers - can't live with them...can't die without them.
Lawyers - the larval form of politicians.
Lawyers and hookers are both hired to get their clients off.
Lawyers and Hookers: Both hired to get their clients off.
Lawyers and wagon wheels must be well greased.
Lawyers and wagon wheels need to be well greased.
Lawyers are extraterrestrials.
Lawyers are like cactuses, except the pricks are inside!
Lawyers are like Sperm, one in a million turns out to be human!
Lawyers are like Sperm: 1 in a Million turn out to be Human.
Lawyers are the larval form of politicians.
Lawyers aren't crooks - just ethically challenged.
Lawyers can remove their wingtips.
Lawyers collect on marital bonds!
Lawyers complain about briefs.
Lawyers confuse justice for income.
Lawyers could be an important source of protein.
Lawyers do it in billable units.
Lawyers do it in briefs.
Lawyers do it in front of the Judge and Jury.
Lawyers do it in their briefs.
Lawyers DO IT on a trial basis.
Lawyers do it to anybody.
Lawyers DO IT to anyone and everyone and as often as they can!
Lawyers do it to anyone they can!
Lawyers do it to anyone.
Lawyers do it to everyone.
Lawyers do it to you.
Lawyers do it with clause.
Lawyers do it with extensions in their briefs.
Lawyers do it with precedents.
Lawyers do it, then charge high fees.
Lawyers eat their young.
Lawyers get frequent flier miles. Vultures don't.
Lawyers have got you in their cites!
Lawyers have got your in their cites!
Lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.
Lawyers never lose their appeal.
Lawyers of Suffering: Grin and Barrett.
Lawyers or Toxic Waste Dumps... Hmm, tough choice...
Lawyers or Toxic Waste Dumps...hmmm, tough choice.
Lawyers representing the Meek contacted me about my inheritance.
Lawyers The #1 Cause of Divorces...
Lawyers try to pleas many clients.
Lawyers View: If sh!t Happens, SUE!
Lawyers wear tight collar to keep foreskin hidden.
Lawyers wear tight collars to keep foreskin off their face.
Lawyers work in their briefs.
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.
Lawyers, the larva form of politicians
Lawyers, the mothers of deception.
Lawyers, the roadblocks to progress!
Lawyers, your ambulance-chasing kind of people!
Lawyers--the larval form of politicians.
Lawyers. Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out!
Lawyers: n. the larval form of Politicians.
Lawyers: n... The larval stage of politicians...
Lawyers: The best argument against gun control.
Lawyers: The Larval Form Of Politician.
Lawyers: the larval form of politicians.
Lawyers: the larval stage of politicians.
Let us remember that ours is a nation of lawyers and orde
Let us remember that ours is a nation of lawyers and order.
Let's kill all the lawyers. --Shakespeare.
Liar:  A lawyer with a roving commission.
M/H Insurance: No lawyers, politicians move in next door.
Major cause of Lawyer death, ambulance's backing up!
Mammas, don't let your babies grow up to be lawyers...
May your life be filled with lawyers.
Microsoft is suing American Airlines 'cause they have lawyers too.
minister.
Motorcycle gang lawyers for rough justice...
Must the lawyer be a matrimonial specialist?
My Ex-wife or My Lawyer: who do I shoot First?
My lawyer can beat up your lawyer!
My lawyers want a word with you out in the limo.
Never argue with a skunk or a lawyer. You'll either lose or stink.
Never look too deep into the mind of a lawyer.
New "Lawyers" postage stamp: You spit on BOTH sides!
New Lawyers postage stamp: You can spit on both sides!
No more lawyers? No more freedom!
No more lawyers? No more pettifoggery!
No wonder. Saddam Hussein is a lawyer!
Nobody likes a crooked lawyer until they need one.
Of the people, by the lawyers, for the liberals.
Oh, Jesus! Sounds like another lawyer! Get the spray!
Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.
Old lawyers never die, they just rest their cases.
Old lawyers never die... they just lose their appeal.
Old lawyers never die; they just make another appeal.
One lawyer can steal more than a hundred men with guns.
Only 3% of people like lawyers. Over 70% of Congress is Lawyers.
Only a lawyer calls a 10,000 word document a brief.
Only a lawyer has to have a ladder to scratch a snake's belly.
Only a lawyer would call a 137-page document a brief.
Only defense lawyers profit from tickets
Only lawyers are despised more than child molesters.
Only lawyers are trusted less than used car salesmen.
Oxymoron: Blameless Lawyers.
Oxymoron: Criminal Lawyer
Oxymoron: Decent lawyer.
Oxymoron: Good Lawyer.
Oxymoron: Honest Lawyer.
Oxymoron: Moral Lawyer.
Oxymoron: Respectable Lawyer.
P! U!...Who stepped in a pile of lawyer?
Pee-Wee didn't need a lawyer; he got himself off!
PeeWee doesn't want a lawyer. Says he can get himself off.
Peewee fired his lawyer. He said he could handle it himself.
Poetic Justice : A Lawyer with his tongue cut out.
POLITICIANS: Lawyers who don't inhale.
PUNNY BOOK: Lawyers of Suffering: Grin and Barrett.
Put lawyers on the ethics committee (for balance).
Q: What do you call a lawyer with a 75 IQ? A: Your Honor.
Question: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
Question: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
Rattlesnakes refuse to bite lawyers. Professional courtesy.
Rattlesnakes won't bite lawyers. Professional courtesy.
Redundancy (n.): A lawyer with an air bag in his car.
Redundancy (n.): To say a lawyer's car contains an air bag.
Redundancy - Criminal Lawyer.
Redundancy: Rich Lawyer
Rent-a-lawyer: You lease 'em, we'll fleece 'em.
Resorting to lawyers is proof of failure.
Roses are red violets are blue, me and my lawyer are about to sue you.
Roses are red, Violents are blue, My lawyer and I are about to sue you
Roses are red, Violets are blue, My lawyer and I are about to sue you!
Save laboratory animals - use lawyers instead!
Save laboratory animals - use lawyers.
Save Laboratory Animals. Use Lawyers instead.
Save laboratory animals. Use lawyers.
Save the Planet, make a lawyer disappear.
Sen. Packwood's lawyers: Letcher, Fondler, Chauvinist, and Pigg.
Send lawyers, guns and money, the shit has hit the fan!
Send Lawyers, Guns and Money.
Send lawyers, guns, and money, the shit has hit the fan.
Send lawyers, guns, and money. Dad get me outta this.
Sharks don't attack lawyers - professional courtesy.
Sharks don't eat lawyers out of professional courtesy.
Sharks don't feed on lawyers; professional courtesy.
Sharks won't eat lawyers, due to professional courtesy.
Sheesh!  You start havin' fun, and they send the lawyers!
Sheesh! You start havin' fun, and they send in the lawyers!
Sheesh! You start havin' fun, and they send the lawyers!
Should I ever respond or talk to her lawyer?
Should I have a written contract with the lawyer?
Should I shop for a lawyer? How?
Should I tell my lawyer the whole truth?
Shouted the lawyer's client. You're a scoundrel!
Shure, trust me, I'm a lawyer... (Famous last words.)
Since over 70% of Congress is Lawyers I can see why they have no ethics.
So many lawyers, so few bullets.
Something's wrong with this world when clowns are lawyers too!
Something's wrong with this world when clowns got lawyers too!
Sorry, I can't leave any lawyer taglines. So sue me.
Support doctors. Kill lawyers. At least run them over.
Support your Lawyers... Become a Doctor!
Support your Local Police....Support Antlerless Lawyer Season.....
Sure, trust me, I'm a lawyer... (Famous last words.)
Take Back Your Country: Shoot a Lawyer!
Talk is cheap - unless it's a lawyer talking!
Talk is cheap -- until you hire a lawyer.
Talk is cheap ... unless you hire a lawyer.
Talk is cheap until you get a lawyer.
Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer
Talk is cheap. 'til you hire a lawyer!
Talk is cheap... till you hire a lawyer.
Talk is cheep, until you hire a lawyer.
Talk's cheap till you need a lawyer.
Teenagers, protesters and lawyers think they're never wrong.
Test your pit bull: give it a lawyer's arm.
The best client a lawyer ever had is a scared millionaire.
The country is a mess and people keep voting for lawyers.
The difference between cockroaches and lawyers? Is there one?
The earth is 98% full. Delete lawyers.
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. --Shakespeare.
The handlers don't become so attached to the lawyers.
The jury's purpose is to decide which side had the best lawyer.
The Law is your friend... but watch out for the Lawyers.
The lawyers want a word with you out in the limo.
The Martians are a happy people; they have no lawyers.
The Nanites have *lawyers?*
The only ethical lawyer is a dead lawyer.
The only good lawyer is a - naw, not even then.
The only good lawyer is a dead one.
The only honest lawyer is a deceased lawyer.
The only respected lawyers include two fictional and a dead one.
The quickest way to a lawyer's heart is with a broadsword.
There are no lawyer jokes, they are all true.
There are only 3 lawyer jokes, the rest are true stories.
There are only three lawyer jokes. The rest are facts.
There are things rats won't do that lawyers will.
There's a lawyer criminal. You mean criminal lawyer. Same difference.
There's only 1 lawyer in Lawyerville, New York.
Tortilla: Lawyer's lunch choice.
Total lack of ethics? Become a Christian lawyer!
Trust me, I'm a lawyer.
Trust me, I'm a lawyer... <sound of automatic weapons fire>.
Typical of lawyers...take a tagline...and give nothing in return.
Ultimate putdown: Your mother is a lawyer.
Unfrozen caveman lawyer!
Use lawyers. Scientists don't get as attached to them as lab rats.
Useful? Sure! Lawyers are an excellent source of protein.
Vampires don't attack Lawyers. Professional courtesy.
Veni, Vidi, Vulture! (I came, I saw, I called my lawyer!)
We don't eat our enemies! We have lawyers for that!
We have lots of criminal lawyers. We just haven't convicted any yet.
We kill Pirates! But I'm a Lawyer! BLAM! - that's WORSE!
We kill Pirates. I'm no pirate, I'm a lawyer KILL THE LAWYER!
We kill Pirates. I'm no pirate, I'm a lawyer Same thing.... BLAM!
We ought to ban lawyers from advertising.
Well... never visit CA. This is lawyer shark haven.
Whaddya call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea? A good start!
What did my lawyer say? Plead guilty just short of murder.
What do doctors, lawyers and comedians have in common? The best are Jewish!
What do I do when I can't afford the lawyer anymore?
What do I need to know for my initial lawyer interviews?
What do lawyers use for birth control? Their personalities.
What do you call 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.
What do you call 1000 lawyers up to their necks in sand? Not enough sand.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 2? 'Your Honor'.
What do you call a man lying on a lawyer's desk? Will.
What if I can't afford a lawyer?
What if lawyers had to wait 5 days before talking?
What if my lawyer doesn't answer my questions?
What if my lawyer doesn't return my phone calls?
What if my spouse suggests a lawyer?
What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman.
What's 20,000 lawyers rotting in a swamp? A GOOD START!
What's 20,000 lawyers rotting in the swamp? A good start!
What's black and brown and looks good on Lawyers? A Doberman.
What's black, white, and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman.
What's the big deal about lawyers at the bar.
What's the easiest way to grease a Ferarri? Run over a lawyer.
Whatcha got if a lawyer is up to his neck in sand? Too little sand!
When is my lawyers representation of me completed?
When is No-Fault faulty?  Ask Ontario lawyers!
When lawyers make laws, laws will benefit lawyers.
When should i telephone my lawyer?
When someone on trial tells the truth a lawyer objects!
When somone on trial tells the truth a lawyer objects!
When you die, the lawyer takes 30%.
Where can you find a good lawyer? In the cemetery
Where do lawyers live? In legal pads.
Where there is a will, there are lawyers.
Where there's a will, there's a happy Lawyer!
Where there's a will, there's a probate lawyer.
Who is worse: Lawyer, Politician, Reporter?
Who pays the guardian-lawyers fees and costs?
Why bury lawyers at sea? Because way down deep, they're not so bad.
Why can't lawyers take a bath ... oil and water don't mix.
Why don't lawyers lay on the beach? Cats would bury them
Why don't lawyers lie on the beach? Cats would bury them.
Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy!
Why Don't Sharks Bite Lawyers? Professional Courtesy!
Why don't sharks eat lawyers? Professional Courtesy!
Why experiment on animals when there's so many lawyers around?
Why experiment on animals with so many lawyers out there!
Why experiment on animals? There are many lawyers!
Why lawyers don't lie on the beach: cats would bury them.
Why may not that be the skull of a lawyer? --Hamlet.
Why may not that be the skull of a lawyer? --Shakespeare.
Why sharks don't eat lawyers: Some things even they can't stomach
Why use laboratory rats when there are so many lawyers out there?
Why was the hospitalized Lawyer reading a Bible? Looking for Loopholes!
Why was the sick Lawyer flipping through a Bible? Looking for loopholes!
Why won't pigs mate with lawyers? Some things even a pig wont do.
Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.
Why won't sharks eat lawyers? Professional courtesy.
Why won't sharks eat lawyers? ProfessionaWant a taste of religion? Bite a
Why wont pigs mate with lawyers? Some things even a pig wont do.
Why would I want to be friends with other lawyers?
Why you - YOU - YOOOOUUUU - LAWYER!
Why you... You... You.. Lawyer!
Will my lawyer tell me how I handled the deposition?
Will Rogers never met a lawyer.
Woe unto ye also, ye lawyers! --St. Luke.
Worse than a lawyer - a lay person with a lawyer's mind set.
Yes, as a matter of fact, I am a lawyer
You can never grow fond of a lawyer.
You don't have to marry a lawyer to get screwed by one.
You know a lawyer's lying if his lips are moving.
You start having fun, they send in the lawyers
You'll never get to heaven if you pay a lawyer.
      Acute.................... Opposite of an ugly.
      Adnoid................... Domino's Pizza character.
      Advil.................... Used to hammer things on.
      AIDS..................... Helpers or Assistants.
      Anally................... Occurring yearly.
      Anus..................... Latin word for Hillary.
      Aphrodisiac.............. An African disc jockey.
      Artery................... study of fine paintings.
      Aspirin.................. Having great ambitions.
      Bacteria................. Back door to a cafeteria.
      Barium................... What doctors do when treatment fails.
      Benign................... What you are after you be eight.
      Blood.................... A type of Gang.
      Bowel.................... A letter like A, E, I, O, or U.
      Bruise................... A six-pack.
      Caesarean Section........ A district in Rome.
      Capsule.................. A space ship.
      Cat Scan................. Searching for kitty.
      Catarrh.................. Stringed instrument.
      Catheter................. String instruments.
      Cauterize................ Made eye contact with her.
      Cerebral Palsy........... Hands playing in the Cereal.
      Clitoris................. A type of flower.
      Colic.................... A sheep dog.
      Coma..................... A punctuation mark.
      Concussion............... A prisoner's sofa pillow.
      Condom................... Apartment complex.
      Congenital............... Friendly.
      Constipation............. An important U.S. document.
      D&C...................... Where Washington is.
      Diaphram................. A drawing in geometry.
      Diarrhea................. Journal of daily events.
      Dilate................... To live long.
      Dildo.................... Variety of sweet pickle.
      Douche................... Italian word for "12."
      Enema.................... Not a friend.
      Erection................. When the Japanese vote.
      Feces.................... What Bill Clinton sees in the Mirror.
      Femur.................... Not a Male.
      Fester................... Quicker.
      Fibula................... small lie.
      Fracture................. A number less than one.
      G.I. Series.............. Baseball series for soldiers.
      Genital.................. Non-Jewish.
      Grippe................... Suit case.
      Hair..................... Rodent with long ears.
      Hangnail................. Coat hook.
      Heart.................... Bow & Arrow target.
      High Colonic............. Jewish religious holiday.
      Hospital................. An unknown person ejecting saliva.
      Immune................... Congressional perk.
      Impotent................. Distinguished; well known.
      Infection................ Russians coming to the U.S.
      Intense pain............. Torture in a teepee.
      Intestines............... Beta version of forks.
      Jaundice................. To include in a group.
      Jaw...................... A shark without as much teeth.
      Joint.................... A location or place.
      Kinesthetics............. A relationship towards relatives.
      Labor Pain............... Getting hurt at work.
      Laceration............... Dainty material allotment.
      Leper.................... A wild cat.
      Lesbian.................. person from the Middle East.
      Lesion................... A unit of Roman Army.
      Loin..................... Not fat.
      Lymph Node............... Where special Fairy lives.
      Lymph.................... A special Fairy.
      Major Operation.......... A job for the Major.
      Malaria.................. Several shopping Stores.
      Mamogram................. A telegram to Mom.
      Manic Depressive......... A man pressed down to the floor.
      Medical Staff............ Doctor's cane.
      Medicare................. A partial care.
      Meningitis............... Getting a Man.
      Menstrual cycle.......... Bloody vehicle for men.
      Menstruation............. Male Model display.
      Midwife.................. Second wife in three marriages.
      Migraine................. Not your wheat.
      Minor Operation.......... Coal digging.
      Miscarriage.............. Firing a Rifle and missing a target.
      Morbid................... Higher offer.
      Mucus.................... Not quite in focus.
      Nitrate.................. Cheaper than a day rate.
      Node..................... Was aware of.
      Organic.................. Musical.
      Orgasm................... Person who accompanies the church choir.
      Outpatient............... Person who has fainted.
      Ovaries.................. French egg dish made with cheese.
      Papsmear................. Fatherhood test.
      Pelvis................... Cousin of Elvis.
      Peter Pan................ Small wash basin in a whore house.
      Pornography.............. Business of making record albums.
      Post-operative........... Letter carrier.
      Prostate................. Flat on your back.
      Protein.................. In favor of young people.
      Pubic Hair............... Wild rabbit.
      PWA...................... Airline Service.
      Recovery Room............ Place to do upholstery.
      Rectum................... Dang near killed him.
      Rheumatic................ Amorous.
      Scalpel.................. What Indians used to do.
      Scar..................... Rolled tobacco leaf.
      Scrotum.................. Small planet near Uranus.
      Secretion................ Hiding something.
      Seizure.................. Roman Emperor.
      Semen.................... A sailor.
      Serology................. Study of knighthood.
      Sex...................... What comes after five.
      Smoke.................... What comes after sex.
      Sodomy................... special kind of fast growing grass.
      Sonogram................. A telegram from your son.
      Stat..................... Info on baseball cards.
      Stimulant................ Wad of hundred dollar bills.
      Tablet................... A small table.
      Terminal Illness......... Getting sick at the airport.
      Testicles................ Sucking sacks found on an octopus.
      Tibia.................... Country in North Africa.
      Tumor.................... More than one.
      Ultrasound............... A loud noise.
      Umbilical Cord........... Part of a parachute.
      Urine.................... Opposite of "You're Out."
      Vagina................... Heart trouble.
      Varicose Veins........... Veins very close to each other.
      Varicose................. Near by.
      Vein..................... Conceited.
      Weak..................... seven days.
      Zit...................... Dog Command.
"<CTRL><ALT><DEL> to continue ->"   .........
"Not tonight honey..I have a modem."
+++ ATH +++ ATH +++ ATH... Work Damn-it!!!
+R%^&$*oooo%!<-----Sorry. Modem farted..
...MODEM....a deterrent to phone solicitors.
..Error..Checking..Modems..arn't..they..Great..
1200 bps used to seem so fast
300 bps Is that life in the sloooow lane or what?
386 and HST 144x - The only way to fly!
4 out of 5 modems prefer it.
<----- The information went data way ----->
A BBSer's telephone bill knows no bounds...
A USRHST-world's most powerful modem-feeling lucky
A USRHST-worlds most powerful modem-feeling lucky punk?
ACK and ye shall receive.
After dinner, he said, "Your modem or mine?"
An error?  Impossible!  My modem is error correcting.
Another good day; the modem is still working!
Anybody who'd run a COMM program is a COMMIE.
Attention!!  Modem addict on the lOOse
baud � bps
Baud, James Baud. - famous British spy/modemer
Beat me! Whip me! Make me use Kermit.
Beware of Modem Addiction!  It's contagious!
Bored at 3:00 a.m.?  PSSSTTT - got a modem?
By day, an average person; By night a Modem Maniac!!!!!!!
Choosy modemers choose GIF!
Citation for slow BBS'ing: Going 2400 in an HST lane.
Clap on <CLAP,CLAP> Clap off <CLAP,CLAP> &*#%!@>&.. NO CARRIER
Coming to a TV soon... "Days of our Modems".
CompuCrumb SPUDModem Detected; System hanging up now...
CONNECT 110?!? Help! I'm in s l o w  m o t i o n !!
CRUISING: 19200bps modem and 0.5bps fingers!
Curses! Hayes-ed again!!
Dad, do you suppose Santa has a modem?
Dawn: The time when people with modems go to bed.
Demand a 9600 BAUD psychomodem and a telepathic protocol.
Did Qmodem originate in the Q continium?
Did you say MNP means -  Modem Needs Petting!.
Did you say MNP means Modem Needs Pizza?
DO I need a modem for each phone line?
Drop carrier Immediately - but try not to break it.
Drop your carrier ... we have you surrounded!
DSZ port 13 speed 300 ha ha he he rz -ZZZZzzzzzz...
DSZ Super8k Xmodem-The good,the bad &the ugly
Faster, Cheaper, More Efficient - Modems or Wives
Floggings will continue until modems improve!
Get a USR It leaves the others behind.
Get down and Modem the night away!
Get your modem runnin, Head out for the Highwaves!
Give a student a modem and you give them the world
Got a 14.4Terrabyte throughput and my modem got sucked down the phone line.
Got arrested for going 14400 in a 2400 zone.
Halleluja!  Put your HANDS on the MODEM!
Happiness is a fast modem.
Happiness is a warm modem..
Happiness is having the fastest modem on the block!
Have subspace modem, will telecommunicate.
Have you hugged your modem today?
Have Your Modem Call My Modem And We'll Do Lunch
He said "ENQ?".  "NAK!", she replied.
Help It's my modem. She don't wanna work no more!
Help!  I'm modeming...   and I can't hang up!!!
Help--I'm being held captive by my modem!
Hey hacker, leave that modem alone.
Hey, Worf..I hooked Data up to a Modem...Wanna see?.
I bought an internal modem, but I can't swallow it.
I can turn off my modem. I can turn off my modem. I can t
I Come In Peace, Take Me To Your Modem.
I got a french modem! $%*()@!@#%$^$%#$*$ PAS DE CARRIER
I have a 9600bps modem and 1.5bps fingers.
I know the combination to your locked baud rate..
I modem down, but dey grew back.
I see you need an error-correcting modem. <snicker>
I tried an internal modem, but it hurt when I walk.
I tried an internal modem, but it hurt when I walked.
I used to have a wife, now I have a modem!.
I'm NOT addicted. I just use the modem all the time..
Is it just me, or is 9600 not as fast as it used to be?
It's only modem sex,dear, I promise it won't hurt....
Jimi Hendrix's modem was a Purple Hayes.
Ken must be home. The modem is still warm.
Le'see..I wanna MODEM,'nd a RAM DISK,'nd KATHLEEN TURNER!
Lookout World!  My Modem is Ringing!
Lookout World!  The Modem is Ringing!
Maybe my modem cable is faulty...
Misspelled?  Impossible.  My modem is error correcting
MODEM - Money OweD to tElecoM
MODEM - Monumentally Overpriced Data Eating Machine..
Modem addictus has got us!
Modem not found: (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)oto bed?
Modem Police...we clocked you at over 1600 cps.
Modem sex begins with a handshake..
Modem: A deterrent to phone solicitors..
Modem: A great deterrent to phone solicitors
Modem: Device to simulate sound of disconnected telephone
Modeming is an exercise of bits, bytes and bauds
Modems are proof that people enjoy torturing themsevles
Modems are too slow, and life is too short. [-dd-]
Modems.....reach out and BYTE someone!
Modemus Operandi,torture the data till it confesses
My computer's sick. I think my modem is a carrier..
My Husband or my modem?  Gee, I'll miss him....
My modem can beat up your modem
My Wife or My Modem?                 Gosh ... I'll miss her!!
My wife or my modem?  Gee, I'll miss her....
NAK NAK, "Who's There?" #@#^#$%#(#@^ NO CARRIER
New Hayes AT command: AT ET = Phone Home.
NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIE MODEMS!
No, Bi-modem doesn't mean your modem is gay.
Not tonight dear . . . . . . . . . I have a modem.
Not tonight honey..I have a modem.
once i add stealth technology to my HST!
One modem said to another: "Hey, you've got a nice baud!"
Only my modem knows for sure.
Our phone bill can't be that big!  I have a 14.4 modem!.
Plug your modem in backwards and hear the Devil's own words!
Professional mail reader on closed modem. Do not attempt.
Qmodem is a happy modem!
Repent, all ye 2400 modem, the end is NEAR!
Save gas:  Commute by modem
Screw housework.  I'm gonna MODEM!
Screw work, I'm going to MODEM!
Smile!  You're on Candid Modem!
So what if I am a modem junky?
Stay back!  I have a modem and I know how to use it!!!!
Stop spelling misteaks: use error correcting modems.
Talk is cheap.  Using a modem gets expensive.
That's not line noise--my modem's speaking in tongues!
This modem will now self destruct...5..4..3..2..1..0..
Time is an illusion....especially while modeming!
WARNING! Computers and modems are ADDICTIVE!
We now return Control of your Modem to you....
What can you do at 3 AM? PSSSTTT - got a modem?
What I need is a faster modem?
Who did the owner of the first modem talk to?.
With a modem, I can take on the world!
Wow... Did you just see that USR go by?��!
You gotta know when to code 'em, know when to modem.
ZMODEM: Big Bits, soft blocks, tighter ASCII..
�����~}ɽ�~������...Just kidding, your modem's OK.
"Bother" said POOH as French soldiers smashed his camera.
"Bother" said POOH as he drank the bong water.
"Bother" said POOH as he entered the Doomsday Codes.
"Bother" said POOH as he lubricated his paw.
"Bother" said POOH as he put the gun in his mouth.
"Bother" said POOH as he repotted his Aspidistra.
"Bother" said POOH as he saved vs poison.
"Bother" said POOH as he stepped on a Funnelweb.
"Bother" said POOH as he was eviserated by the Power(tm)Rangers.
"Bother" said POOH as he was sodomised by Mr Squiggle.
"Bother" said POOH as Marvin spoke to him again.
"Bother" said POOH as Smurfette got dressed.
"Bother" said POOH as the Hundred Acre Woods were annexed by SMURFS
"Bother" said POOH, often.
"Bother" said POOH, releasing the hounds.
"Bother" said POOH, reloading.
"Bother" said Sturmbannfuhrer POOH at Nuremberg.
"Doh" said POOH with an identity crisis.
... "Bother", said Pooh, trying to figure out how Odo forms a commbadge.
... "Bother," said Pooh as he ran out of lighter fluid.
... "Bother," said Pooh as the plot device was re-used again.
... "Bother," said Pooh, as Gollum bit his finger off.
... "Bother," said Pooh, as he ran out of cigarettes.
... "Bother," said Pooh, as he turned to the Dark Side.
... "Bother," said Pooh, as Patton slapped him.
... "Bother," thought Morn as the dart hit him.
... "muNuQ!," said Pooh as his bat'leth broke in half.
... "muNuQ," said Pooh as he realized he couldn't speak Klingon.
... "Oh, bother," said Pooh as the writers killed off his character.
... "Oh, bother," said Pooh.  "I remember when O.J. was a fruit juice!"
... "qatlho', Piglet," said Pooh as Piglet gave him TKD for Christmas.
... Bearjoran takes over DS9 in Pooh D'Etat!
"A book, a friend, a song, a glass, a chaste loving lass"
"A lie is terminological inexactitude." Churchill
"A man's a man for a' that!" Burns
"A newspaper is a collection of half-injustices"
"A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck."  Garfield
"A Robin redbreast in a cage puts all heaven in a rage."
"All clowns are masked, all personae flow from choices"
"All humans things are subject to decay."
"And God said, Let there be light: and there was light."
"And when fate summons monarchs must obey;"
"Beam me aboard, Scotty." "Sure. Will a 2x10 do?"
"Beulah, peel me a grape." 
"But once you are real, you can't become unreal again." 
"But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer, Gie her a haggis!"
"Don't worry, I'm fluent in weirdo"
"Earth was not earth before her sons appeared."
"Every why hath a wherefore."
"Every woman should marry -- and no man." Disraeli
"Everyone lives by selling something." - R.L. Stevenson 
"Everything's got a moral if only you can find it." 
"Forgotten men at the bottom of the economic pyramid" FDR
"Fountains mingle with the river, rivers with the ocean."
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a download!" -Rhett Sysop
"God said, "Let Newton be!" and all was light." Pope
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned." Congreve
"Help! I've fallen and can't get up." A. Tree
"How wise are they that are but fools in love!" Cooke
"I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul."
"I'm so bored, I'm starting to miss my husband."
"Let's win this one and go home." - George A. Custer 
"Life has a great deal up its sleeve." 
"Logic is logic. That's all I say." Holmes
"Look at all the Indians!" - General Custer
"Love -- a grave mental disease."  Plato
"Man is a piece of the universe made alive." Emerson
"Man's the bad child of the universe." Oppenheim
"Man, born of woman is of few days; full of trouble." Job
"May you live all the days of your life." Swift
"Maytag" is my middle name; I'm an agitator.
"Men die and worms eat them - but not for love"  Shake
"Men know life too early, women too late" Wilde
"Men, in general, are but great great children" Napoleon
"Modesty died when false modesty was born." Mark Twain
"No, I didn't." - Teddy Kennedy
"Oh captain! my captain! our fearful trip is done." WW
"Oh could I fly, I'd fly with thee ..."
"Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.."
"Our first and last love is -- self-love." Bovee
"Said the fly, "Let us flee." Said the flea "Let us fly."
"Shake off your heavy trance! And leap into a dance."
"The first sigh of love is the last of wisdom." Bret
"The law hath not been dead, though it hath slept." Shake
"The only victory over love is flight."  Napoleon
"The welfare of the people is the chief law."  Cicero
"They also serve who only stand and wait."
"To live long, it is necessary to live slowly." Cicero
"To love her was a liberal education." Steele
"Too much of a good thing is wonderful." <Mae West> 
"We must laugh at man, to avoid crying for him" Napoleon
"What is a lie but the truth in masquerade." Byron
"With our judgements as our watches, none go just alike."
"Woman must be a genius to create a good husband." Balzac
"Women and elephants never forget." Parker
"You spotted snakes with double tongue... be not seen."
'Tis the season to be punny......
((wrong && wrong) != right) 
(A)bort (R)etry (I)nfluence with large hammer.
(A)bort, (R)etry, (S)mack the @#$&*~ thing!
*  :-*   User just ate something sour.
*  <|-)  User is Chinese.
*********************************************************
*FLASH* Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
*NOW* is a point in time that is already gone.
--T-A+G-L-I+N-E--+M-E-A+S-U-R+I-N-G+--G-A+U-G-E--.
.... a deluge of words and drop of sense.
43% of all statistics are totally worthless !!!
5�" floppy is not better than 3�" hard.
<<< Tagline deleted by Natl Endowment for the Arts >>>
A bachelor enjoys the chase but doesn't eat the game.
A beard signifies lice, not brains.
A belly button is for salt when you eat celery in bed.
A big enough hammer fixes anything
A bigot will not reason, a fool cannot, a slave dare not.
A bird in the bush can't make a mess in your hand.
A bird in the hand's better than one overhead.
A book is the only immortality.
A child prodigy knows not to bother with it.
A conclusion is where you got tired of thinking.
A crappie is not a sunfish found in a toilet.
A day without sunshine is like night.
A farmer is always going to be rich next year.
A father is usually a banker provided by nature.
A fool searches for a greater fool to find admiration.
A gentleman can disagree without being disagreeable.
A good dog barks when told.
A good memory is one trained to forget the trivial.
A good rooster crows in any hen house.
A good scare is better than good advice.
A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit.
A great many family trees were started by grafting.
A gun gives you the body, not the bird.
A hangover  the wrath of grapes 
A hen is an egg's way of making another egg.
A hen tomorrow is more valuable than an egg today.
A hen who lays an egg cackles as if it was an asteroid.
A hole is nothing, but you can break your neck in it.
A jerk present in a group indicates a jerk in charge.
A jug is carried under your coat for a dishonest reason.
A KGB keyboard has no <ESC> key!
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless paid for.
A leap year is never a good sheep year.
A learned fool is more foolish than an ignorant fool.
A liar isn't believed even when he speaks the truth.
A little truth helps the lie go down.
A living example of Artificial Intelligence.
A male rite of passage: Writing your name in the snow.
A miser is hard to live with, but makes a fine ancestor. 
A mother is not a dust rag.
A noisy exhaust to some almost amounts to a mating call.
A nose in artificial manure is not studying nature.
A ounce of pretension = a pound of manure!
A pain in the butt may be a friend in need.
A penny for your thoughts; $20 to act it out.
A person in a passion rides a mad horse.
A person is a lion in his own cause.
A person never tells you anything until contradicted.
A person slow to anger is better than the mighty.
A person without a navel lives within all of us.
A pest: A friend in need.
A pitcher that goes to a well too often is broken first.
A red nose can be the result of sunshine or moonshine.
A sleeping fox counts hens in his dreams.
A statesman shears the sheep; the politician skins them.
A teetotaller makes the worst drunkard.
A thick head can do as much damage as a hard heart.
A thief believes that everybody steals.
A thing of beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
A true diplomat struts sitting down.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a moose.
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper its written on
A vote on the tally sheet is worth two in the box.
A well-written life is as rare as a well-spent one.
A wise person sees as much as ought, not as much can.
A word fitly spoken is like a beautiful apple of gold.
A worthless wise man always charms the rabble.
A yawn is a silent shout.
Abandon all hope, ye who press ��� here 
Acting without thinking is like shooting without aiming.
Actions are neither as good nor as evil as impulses.
Actions are usually right, but the reasons seldom are.
Actions from sanity are not necessarily from feeling.
Actions speak louder than words -- but not so often.
Adam ate the apple, and our teeth still ache.
Adam's Rib: The original bone of contention.
Admiration: Polite recognition of self-reflection.
Adult:  One old enough to know better.
Adventure is the champagne of life.
Adversity makes people wise but not rich.
Against stupidity, the Gods themselves, contend in vain !
All for one; one for all; ME above all!
All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.
All reality is aspect dependent.
All rivers run into the sea, yet the sea is not full.
All sentences that seem true should be questioned.
All things change, nothing is extinguished.
All wiyht.  Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
All words are pegs on which to hang ideas.
All your future lies beneath your hat.
Always do right: Gratify some and astonish the rest.
Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.
Ambition destroys its possessor.
America is a dream to most of the world.
America is a tune.  It must be sung together.
America is the only country founded on a good idea.
America was not discovered by Americans, shame on them.
An accommodating vice is better than an obstinate virtue.
An actor without buck teeth can play the Easter Bunny.
An agreeable person: One who agrees with you.
An appeaser feeds a crocodile, hoping to be eaten last.
An ass thinks one thing, his rider another.
An atheist has no invisible means of support.
An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.
An inch of dog is better than a mile of pedigree.
An optimist is a guy without much experience... 
Ancient custom has the force of law.
And God said: E = �mv� - Ze�/r ...and there *WAS* light!
Angels can fly since they take themselves lightly.
Angling: The name given to fishing by non-fishermen.
Any certainty is a delusion.
Any fool can tell the truth, it takes sense to lie well.
Anybody can win, unless there is a second entry.
Apology is only egotism wrong side out.
Applied emotion is the key to success with happiness.
Architecture is the art of how to waste space.
Are we supposed to be having fun yet? 
Are you waiting for your prey?
Army food: The spoils of war.
Art does not reproduce the visible; it makes visible.
Art for art's sake is a philosophy of the well-fed.
Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.
Art is either plagiarism or revolution.
Art is I; Science is We.
Art is vision not expression.
As for me, all I know is that I know nothing.
As I was going up the stair, I met a man who wasn't there
As lacking in privacy as a goldfish.
As long as I live, I shall be, myself, no other, just me.
Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.
Assumption #1: Dan Quayle is smarter than broccoli.
At 19, everything is possible; tomorrow looks friendly.
At all ages you are certain you still have another year.
ATTENTION ..............Elvis has left the echo.
Autobiography: Unrivalled telling truth about others.
Bachelor: Plays the field until the field comes in.
Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch! 
Backup not found: (P) Panic (Any Other Key) Panic.
Bad officials: elected by good citizens who fail to vote.
Bastard toadflax: not the result nearsighted horny toads.
Be nice on your way up, you'll meet on the way down.
Be suspicious of all native-born Esperanto speakers.
Beauty faded has no second spring.
Bedfellows make strange politicians.
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
Before advising "Be yourself!" reassess his character.
Behind every successful man stands a surprised MIL.
Being able to say NO is the root to reclaiming your life.
Better to marry a man who loves you than one you love.
Better to understand little than misunderstand a lot.
Beware of the opinion of someone without any facts.
Beware of true believers you may be duped by a false god.
Beware when God lets loose a thinker on this planet.
Beware! I'm armed and have suffered from PMS all my life.
Bigamist: One who makes the same mistake twice.
Biography should be written by an acute enemy.
Biography: One of the terrors of death.
Birds are trapped by their feet, people by their tongues.
Blessed are the meek, for they make great scapegoats.
Blessed our young they will inherit our national debt.
Blessings never come in pairs; misfortunes never alone.
Blond Mating Call:  Oh, I'm so drunk [giggle]!!
Blood is thicker than water, and much more tastier.
Boot & ye shall see. Replace & all will be made clear.
Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Born crying, live complaining, die disappointed.
Both of his feet are firmly planted in the air.
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
Bubble, Bubble..Am I too late to jump the ship ??
Bureaucracy: That place always in need of a laxative.
Buy a 486-33 you can reboot faster..
By trying we can learn to endure another's adversity.
C'est la vie.
Camels have wet dreams too.
Carasvemos, corazones no sabemos.
Carelessness does more harm than a want of knowledge.
Cats are like furry dilettanti, or the reverse? 
Cats, proof that eating and sleeping isn't all bad.
Caution:  Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
Celery farmers play the stalk market.
Celery raw develops a jaw. But stewed, is quietly chewed
Chance makes our parents, but choice makes our friends.
Character is much easier kept than recovered.
Charity begins at home, and mostly ends where it begins.
Childish Game: One at which your spouse beats you.
Children have more need of models than of critics.
Choose heaven for climate, hell for society.
Cities, like cats, will reveal themselves at night.
Civilization is a movement, it is a voyage not a harbor.
Civilized people need love for full sexual satisfaction.
Cleanliness is next to "clean-limbed," in the dictionary.
Clever father, clever daughter; clever mother, clever son
Closed eyes are not always sleeping. 
COFFEE.COM not found: A)dd more, R)eheat F)reak out.
Collector: Person few care to see but ask to call again.
College: Guarantee the quality of the product or return.
Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Common sense isn't.
Communication.. without it, everyone's a mushroom.
Computers also eliminate spare time.
Computers can never replace human stupidity.
Computers don't make mistakes, but foolish people do.
Confirmation of the past is often the greatest surprise.
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
Contraceptives: to be used on all conceivable occasions.
Corruption. The most infallible symptom of liberty.
Cow's breath attracts mosquitoes and tsetse flies!
Creditor: A man who has a longer memory than a debtor.
Criminal: One who gets caught.
Custom is the law of fools.
Cynicism is intellectual dandyism.
Dachshund: Half a dog high by a dog and a half long.
Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a tagline writer.
Dan Quayle thinks that Cheerios are donut seeds.
Dan Quayle: the EDLIN of Vice-Presidents.
Dancing with a grass widow brings on hay fever.
DANGER DANGER Computer store ahead...hide wallet.
DANGER! Human at keyboard! 
Detour: The roughest distance between two points.
Dew is the tears which the stars weep.
Difficult? I wish it had been impossible!
Dime de lo que blasonas, y te dire de lo quwe careces.
Dios tarda pero no olvida.
Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock. 
Diplomacy: The patriotic lying for one's country.
Disease is the retribution of an outraged nature.
Do I even WANT ancestors? Some found I wish I could lose.
Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.
Do well and you will have no need for ancestors.
Do well, you hear it never. Do ill, hear it forever.
Do you like me for my brain, or my BAUD?
Doctrine is the skin of truth set up and stuffed.
Does it really matter which cola I drink?
Dogmatism: Puppyism come to its full growth.
Dollars cannot buy yesterday.
Don't be a snob. Never lie when truth is more profitable.
Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.
Don't knock President Fillmore; he kept us out of VietNam
Don't shoot! I'm only the Casio player! 
Don't steal.....Politicians hate competition.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Doubt is the root of education, not faith.
Drama in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater.
Drink! for you know not whence you came, nor why...
Drink! for you know not why you go, nor where...
Drop your carrier...We have you surrounded! 
Dulce bellum inexpertis.
Each day a day goes by.
Earth: A solid substance, much desired by the seasick.
Easy as pie, no fuss, no muss, no crust....
Echo: Only thing that cheats some out of the last word.
Education which is not modern, faces the organic fate.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
En boca cerrada no entran moscas.
Endocannibalism: The result of a really hungry cannibal.
Engraving is, in brief terms, the art of scratch.
Enough research will tend to support your theory. 
Envy is thin because it bites but never eats.
Epitaph on a gravestone: Cheerio, see you soon.
Error reading FAT Table...Try Skinny one ? (Y/N)
Ethics is not necessarily the handmaiden of theology.
Even a noseless dog can stink.
Even a philosopher gets upset with a toothache.
Even the blind can see money.
Even the lion has to protect himself against flies.
Ever wonder why Oprah spelled backwards is Harpo?
Every child should be given the desire to learn.
Every crowd has a silver lining.
Every hard-boiled egg is yellow inside.
Every person constructs their own bed of nails.
Every person gets to heaven in their own way.
Every person is the architect of their own fortune.
Every politician has a price, some hold bargain sales.
Every valuable idea offends someone.
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Everyone as they loveth, some people kiss cows.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Everyone meets their Waterloo at last.
Everything changes except change itself.
Evil is a hill.  We stand on ours, speak about others.
Excess is never enough.
f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmmng 
Facts are stubborn things.
Faint hearts never win in love nor sell life insurance.
Fame: Chiefly a matter of dying at the right moment.
Fat heads, lean brains.
Fax me no questions, I'll Fax you no lies!
Fear not, for I have given you authority 
Feather by feather the goose is plucked.
Few of us can stand prosperity -- someone else's.
Fiction: It can't hold a scandal to biography.
Fiddle: Friction of a horse's tail on a cat's entrails.
Firmness in politics is called obstinacy in a donkey.
Fishing is a delusion surrounded by liars in old clothes.
Fishing rod: a hook at one end, a fool at the other.
Flattery is counterfeit money, circulated by vanity.
Flattery: Cologne water, to smell but not swallow.
Forget RTFM - Call The Author At Home! (@ 23:45)
Freedom is a hard-bought thing - A gift no man can give.
Friend: Anyone who has the same enemies you have.
Friendships are not always preserved in alcohol.
From listening comes wisdom, from speaking, repentance.
Genealogy. Tracing descent from someone who didn't.
Genealogy: tracing us back to the same brother and sister
Genius: One who can do anything except earn a living.
Getting a second chance is never a certainty.
Gnaw the bone which has fallen to thy lot.
God dislikes money -- look who he gives it to.
God gave burdens shoulders also.
God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them.
God heals, but always someone else wants a fee.
God made the first garden, Cain the first city.
Golfer: A person who hits and tells.
Good luck is a lazy man's estimate of a worker's success.
Good printers do it without wrinkling the sheets.
Good taste is the flower of good sense.
Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer.
Graveyards are full of the indispensable.
Greed is good, greed works.
Guns don't kill people, off-line readers do.
Happiness is no laughing matter.
Happy couple: A deaf husband and a blind wife.
Hard work has a future payoff.  Laziness pays off now.
hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
Hasten to laugh at everything lest you be obliged to weep
He bellows like a cow standing on her tit.
He has too many lice to feel an itch.
He is a self-made man, and worships his creator.
He is a sheep in sheep's clothing.
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. 
He is not only dull within, but causes dullness without.
He is the most sensible looking man talking nonsense.
He says a thousand pleasant things, but never "Adieu."
He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
He who talks too much commits a sin.
Hello, I am part number ��޺���۳�ݳ�ݳ�.
HELP! Protect America's children, soil, and water today.
Here I run, to steal the secret of the sun.
Here today, dawn tomorrow.
Hero-worship: Idol gossip.
Hey! Don't pick up that phoׯ��ች���  NO CARRIER 
Hi.  My name is Rover, I'll paint your car yellow free.
Hick: Looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
His face was filled with broken commandments.
History repeats itself because nobody listens
Hm..what's this red button fo������NO CARRIER
Hmmm, When is the last time the Tooth Fairy visited you?
Hobo: A person who builds palaces and lives in shacks.
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom.
Hollywood: A trip through a sewer in a glass bottom boat.
Homo sum; humani nihil a me alienum puto.
Honest Politician: One who stays bought.
Honesty pays, but not enough for some.
Honesty: Fear of being caught.
Honey in the mouth and knives in the heart.
Hospitals: Places where the run down wind up.
Hot air sometimes thaws out a cold reception.
Hotel: A place you give good dollars for bad quarters.
How dieth the wise man? As the fool.
How do I set my Laser Printer to "Stun"?
How many times do you need to be tolled anyway? 
How much memory have you got?  One brain, one memory.
How time flies, when you are in a heap of problems..
Hug: A roundabout way of expressing affection.
Human Being: An ingenious assembly of portable plumbing.
Humpty Dumpty DOS - Just a shell of himself.
Hypocrisy is the type of homage vice pays to virtue.
I am not a dictator.  It's just I have a grumpy face.
I am not an animal!  I am ... well, not an animal. 
I am not arguing with you, I'm telling you.
I be nibble, you be quick, he jumped over the Joystick.
I can resist everything except temptation.
I can resist everything/anything except temptation.
I can't be overdrawn, I still have checks! 
I can't be stupid, I completed third grade!
I do not pretend to know what the ignorant are sure of.
I don't want it now, I want it RIGHT now!
I finally got it all together, but forgot where I put it
I had a dislocated funny bone, <OUCH> but it's better now
I have seen the future and it is now the past.
I haven't lost my mind..It must be backed-up somewhere.
I just steal 'em, I don't explain 'em.
I may be stupid, but that still makes me smarter than you
I may have my faults, but being wrong ain't one of them.
I may not be perfect, but I am all I got!
I never rise above the noise and confusion...
I only wrote the thing, I don't have to understand it!
I sighed as a lover, I obeyed as a child.
I think ... therefore I am overqualified.
I think that I'm the friendliest guy in my zipcode.
I use windows...on my car, on my house, but not on my...
I used to read books.  Now I read .qwk files. 
I want to live with a synonym girl... 
I wish Adam had died with all his ribs in his body.
I would have suffered a lot more if understood.
I'd give my left arm to be ambidextrous 
I'd like to live like a poor person with lots of money.
I'm a hero with coward's legs.
I'm as innocent as a new-laid egg.
I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it?
I'm incredibly jealous, but still glad for you.
I'm more humble than you are!
I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid you're just a mirage. 
I've had BETA days ... and nights!!!
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
If at first you don't succeed: Blame everyone else.
If at first you doubt, doubt again, and again ...
If at first you doubt, doubt again.
If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.
If I die, I forgive you, if I recover, we shall see.
If I save the whales, where do I keep them?
If I were here more often, I wouldn't be gone so much.
If I were you, who'd be me?
If it ain't borken, don't fix it.
If it isn't true, at least it is a happy invention.
If it's not worth doing, it's not worth doing well.
If one cannot catch a bird of paradise, grab a wet hen.
If people listened to themselves, they would shut up.
If the family skeleton must remain, make it dance.
If this is a battle, then you have already lost.
If this were an actual tagline, it might be funny.
If three people say you are an ass, put on a bridle.
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
If worst comes to worst, you *CAN* turn most things off.
If you can't bite, don't show your teeth.
If you can't make it work, make a statistic of it.
If you don't care where you are, then you can't get lost.
If you don't eat garlic, they'll never smell it on you.
If you don't fall down, you're not trying!
If you find it, it is always in the last place you look.
If you throw mud,  you will have dirty hands.
If you try to be too sharp, you will cut yourself.
If you want my advice, pay me!
if you want someone to keep a secret, keep it yourself.
If you want to hide your face, walk naked.
If you're too old to learn, you were born so.
If youth only had a chance or old age any brains.
Ignorance is temporary; stupid is forever.
Illustrate your Sermons! Wear "far side" ties. 
In God we trust; all others must pay cash.
In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
In this world a man must either be anvil or hammer.
Incorrigible punster -- do not incorrige!
Indiscriminate study bloats the mind.
Instinct is intelligence incapable of self-consciousness.
Iron sharpens iron; scholar, the scholar.
Irony: Giving father a billfold for Christmas.
Is it OK to yell 'MOVIE' in a crowded firehouse? 
Is it progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork?
Is wetter REALLY better?
Isn't there a statute of limitations on stupidity?
It is a sin peculiar to people to hate their victims.
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.
It is better to know useless things than to know nothing.
It is dangerous to confuse children with angels.
It is double pleasure to deceive the deceiver.
It is easier to admire hard work if you don't do it.
It is easier to catch flies with honey than with vinegar.
It is easy to propose impossible remedies.
It is hard to believe that even his friends like him.
It is hereditary in my family to have no children.
It is meaningless to speak of domesticating a child.
It is when you take for yourself that you truly take.
It runs in the blood like wooden legs.
It takes two to make a bargain.
It was so cold, I almost got married.
It works better if you plug it in *AND THEN* turn it on.
It works better if you plug it in where it should be.
It's 11:56 pm. Do you know where your modem is?
It's a poor cook who cannot lick his own fingers.
It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.
It's a tragedy that no man become like their mothers.
It's better the world wonder why you *AREN'T* President.
It's easier to curse the candle than light the darkness.
It's hard to believe it, but some teens are humans.
It's love, it's love that makes the world go round.
It's nobody's business, not even mine.
It's not over until the FAT table sings
It's okay to call someone stupid; just don't prove it.
It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a.
It's what inside you, not the outside that counts.
Ivo Andric - Yugoslavia's First Nobel Laureate.
Judge not a carpenter on how fast chips fly.
Judicial reform is no sport for the short-winded.
Jury: A group chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
Just got a new car for my wife... Great trade... 
Just My Opinion (But I'm Right!)
JUST ROOTIN' AROUND.
Keyboard not connected, press <F1> to continue.
Kibitzer: A person with an interferiority complex.
Knowledge rests not on truth alone, but upon error also.
Laundry: A place where clothes are mangled.
Lean books are often larded with the fat of others' works
Learning makes people fit company for themselves.
Learning without thought is labor lost.
Legal Marijuana needs true glaucoma patients. 
Leisure is the mother of philosophy.
Let art alone. She's got enough guys sleeping with her.
Let no good deed go unpunished.
Let's have a little fun, let's do a pun.
Let's see your tagline hunting permit, sir.
Life is a tragedy for feelers and a comedy for thinkers.
Life is an onion and one peels it crying.
Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards.
Life is not a spectacle or a feast, it is a predicament.
Little boats should keep near the shore.
Live so that the family parrot can live afterwards.
Living on earth is better than loafing around Hades.
Living: The best demonstration of victory over mortality.
Look out for barking dogs that bite.
Love thy neighbor, but keep the hedge in tact.
Love truth but pardon error.
Love your enemies -- it makes them so damned mad.
Lunatic asylum: where optimism most flourishes.
Luxury: Costs $7.69 to make and $20.00 to market.
MacIntosh:Computer with training wheels you can't remove.
Madam, an error, we did a hysterectomy on your husband
Madre que consiente engorda una serpiente.
Make two grins grow where there was only a grouch before.
Malice is merely stupidity raised to a higher power.
Man is the missing link between apes and human beings.
Man loves little and often, woman much and rarely.
Man's inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn.
Man: There is nothing more miserable and more arrogant.
Manuals out, after all possible keystrokes have failed.
Many foxes grow gray, but few grow good.
Many kiss the hand that they wish cut off.
Many possess the wisdom of many and only the wit of one.
Many receive advice, only the wise profit by it.
Many would be cowards if they had courage enough.
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
Marriage, a romance but the hero dies in the 1st chapter.
Marriages are based on believing you won the arguments.
May we kiss those we please, and please those we kiss.
Maybe it's right to be nervous now... 
Meetings are indispensable for not doing anything.
Memoirs are the backstairs of history.
Memories keep the wolf of insignificance from the door.
Middle age: When your age starts to show at your middle.
Minds, like parachutes, work only when open.
Mischief all comes from too much opening of the mouth.
Misery brings strange bedfellows.
Misfortunes always enter a door left open for them.
Misteaching: Telling one's grandmother how to suck eggs.
Mister!  Here's your mule! 
Mistrust first impulses, they are always good.
Modem.... A deterrent to phone solicitors. 
Modesty is good bait when fishing for praise.
Money can't buy happiness, but allows a choice of misery.
Money is round, it rolls away.
Money is the sinews of both love and war.
Money: A mint makes it first and we try to make it last.
Monologue: A conversation between realtor and prospect.
Monotheism is a gift from the gods!
Morality is a private and costly luxury.
Mosquito: Designed by God to make flies seem better.
Most allies must be watched just like the enemy.
Mountains culminate in peaks, and nations in people.
Movement To Ban Silly Tag Lines; Send Donations to:
Mr. Bullfrog says: Time is fun when you're having flies. 
My Hard Disk went on a diet and lost it's FAT
My mind ain't so open that anything can crawl right in. 
My reality check just bounced.
Nature, like people sometimes weeps for gladness.
Network management is like trying to herd cats... 
Never agree with me, it shakes my self confidence.
Never lean forward to push an invisible object.
Never trust a skinny cook. 
Never trust anyone who speaks well of everyone.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Nickel: Once good for getting the wrong number with.
No answer is also an answer.
No decorations necessary.
No generalization is wholly true, not even this one.
No matter where you go, there you are.
No medicine can cure a vulgar person.
No one can think clearly with clenched fists.
No one does as much harm as one going about doing good.
No one test the depth of a river with both feet.
No person ever became wicked all at once.
No person should govern another without their permission.
No sense being pessimistic.  It wouldn't work anyway. 
No wanna work.  Wanna bang on keyboard. 
No wonder can last more than three days.
Noble deeds that are concealed are most esteemed.
Nobody can be just like me. Even I have trouble.
Nobody can be like me. Even I have trouble doing so.
Nobody notices when things go right, and I'm noticed. 
Nobody notices when things go right, I'm always noticed. 
Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
Non-fiction often is more unrealistic than fiction.
None but a mule denies his family.
Not a real tagline, but an incredible soy substitute.
Not everything more difficult is more meritorious.
Not now ... I have to go mow the laundry.
Not to know is bad, but not to wish to know is worse.
Nothing is ever constant, unless it is dead. 
Nothing is so smiple that it can't get screwed up.
Notice: All incoming fire has the right of way.
O Oysters come and walk with us, the Walrus did beseech.
Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.
Of all the people I have met, you are certainly one
Of all thirty-six alternatives, running away is best.
Of course I can cook, but I never do it on the first date
Often the test of courage is not to die but to live.
Oh that?  It was playing leap frog with a unicorn.
Oh well, half of one, six dozen of the other. 
Oh, pardon me, was that *your* culture? So sorry.
OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to become eccentric.
Old age is better than the alternative.
Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
Old birds are hard to pluck.
Old MacDonald had a computer with EIA I/O.
Old musicians never die, they just decompose.
On a clear disk you can seek forever.
Once uttered, words run faster than the horses i bet on.
One crow will not peck out another crow's eyes.
One lie always leads to another.
One person's <grin> is another's <groan>.
One who is always in a stew generally goes to pot.
One who is in peril thinks with their legs.
Only hey can conquer who believe they can.
Only I can tell where my own shoe pinches me.
Only in your dreams are you really free.
Only the hand that erases can write the true thing.
Only the rich have distant relatives.
Only the stupidest calves chose their own butcher.
Originality is undetected plagiarism.
Ostrich: He often runs so fast he leaves himself behind.
Other times, other customs.
Our future is always uncertain our end is always too near
Outside noisy, inside empty.
Overestimation: Thinking that all your geese are swans.
Pants: Trousers' country cousins.
Parents: One of the hardships of a minor's life.
PCs are OK except when you use them as bowling balls.
Pedestrian: The most approachable chap in the world.
Penguin: The headwaiter of the Antarctic.
People are the only creatures with the power of laughter.
Philosophic enjoyment = mutual  misunderstanding.
Philosophy: A route leading from nowhere to nothing.
Planned parenthood --- the impossible dream.
Please don't yell at me.  I'm new at this. 
Please!  Do not break character! 
Please! Take my word for it.
Poker Face: The face that launched a thousand chips.
Poker: It's darkest just before you've drawn.
Politics: Passing the buck or passing the doe.
Politics: The glad hand and the marble heart.
Postscript: The only thing of interest in some letters.
Power is an illusion; only stupidity is real.
Praise: What you receive when you are no longer alive.
Prejudice is the reason of fools. Voltaire.
Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue ... 
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
Prevention is better than cure.
Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.
Prune: A plum that has seen better days.
Psychic Con: You know where and when 
Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.
Public opinion flourishes where there are no ideas.
Put off procrastinating till a later time.
Put on your seatbelt. I'm gonna try something new. 
Quien con perros se acuesta con pulgas se levanta.
Quien da el pan impone la ley.
Quoth the Raven, "Eat My Shorts."
Radical: Anyone whose opinion differs from ours.
Rainforest: a scarcity of animals a plethora of tourists.
Raising your voice does not reinforce your argument.
Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art. 
Reader not found, please notify tagline.
Reality.Sys corrupted -- Reboot Universe (Y/N)?
Reality: Only a concept and the home of the brave.
Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.
Religious people are wicked, how would they be without?
Remember, the end never justifies the meanness.
Remember................. Wherever you go, there you are.
Repartee: An insult with a suit and tie on.
Resort: A place where the tired grow more tired.
Restaurant: An eating place that does not sell drugs.
Retreat hell! We're just fighting in another direction.
ROM wasn't built in a day.
Round numbers are always false.
Russian Express Card motto: Don't leave home!
Sailors curse the rain that farmers prayed for in vain.
Sandwich: An faulty attempt to make both ends meat.
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
Save trees, eat  beavers. 
Scotty! Hurry! Beam me uragg^*��� NO CARRIER
Scrute the inscrutable;  eff the ineffable.
Sculptor: A poor unfortunate who makes faces and busts.
Se non e vero, e molto ben trovato.
Security is a game but the final goal is never reached.
Seeing is believing, Touching is convincing..
Seek not to follow footsteps but what they sought.
Self-made man: A horrible example of unskilled labor.
Self-sacrifice: to sacrifice others without blushing.
Seriousness is the very next step to being dull.
Sex isn't the best nor the worst thing in the world.
Shake, a man of note, wrote so many things to quote.
Shame is an ornament to the young, a disgrace to the old.
Shareware it only works if you pay.
Sharper than an asp's tooth to have a thankless child.
She devotes her spare time to neglecting duties.
She has been under more drunken sailors than a head.
Shhhhhh.....the topic cops are coming
SHIN - A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.
Si jeunesse savoit, si vieillesse pouvoit.
Silence is more eloquent at times than words.
Silly rabbit, tricks are for hookers!
Silly Wabbit, QWKs are for kids. 
Silver and gold make even pigs seem clean.
Simple rule: If you don't treat me right, shame on you.
Since GOD spelled backwards is DOG, is my poodle Satan? 
Since life goes on - you might as well get on with it.
Sinner: A stupid person who gets found out.
Sir Lancelot, you have chain mail in Knight's Conf
Skeptics are seldom deceived.
So crowded in here, I must go outside to change my mind!
So dumb: Chewing the stick, not sucking the lollipop.
Society like air, is necessary but not complete for life.
Society prepares the crime; the criminal commits it.
Software independent: Won't work with ANY software.
Software, hardware, -- is that you talking Sigmund?
Solution Series: Works for Windows, Publisher and Money
Solve the problems of the world: Vote anarchist.
Some are weather-wise, some are otherwise.
Some cures are worse than the disease.
Some men without a god are like fish without bicycles.
Some nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men
Some settling may have occurred in shipping. 
Some thoughts are best guillotined before actions result.
Spaghetti code = job security.
Spring makes everything young again except humans.
Stick to your talent and the cows will be well tended.
Straight trees have crooked roots.
Strange but not a stranger...
Strength of mind: Person who can eat one salted peanut.
Stulti timent fortunam sapientes ferunit.
Stupid: Being unable to find your own butt in the dark.
Stupidity has no limits, genius does.
Stupidity is no excuse for not thinking.
Sub omni lapide scorpio dormit.
Subway: A place so crowded even men can't all get seats.
Success is just a matter of luck.  Ask any failure.
Surly to bed, and surly to rise.
Swell-head: Nature's frantic effort to fill a vacuum.
Synonym: A word you use when you can't spell the other.
SYSOP: The guy that is laughing at your typing!
Sysoping, not just an adventure, sometimes it's emesis.
Sysoping: More fun than being beaten with a sledgehammer.
Tabloid: A newspaper with a permanent crime wave.
Tact is knowing how far to go in going too far.
Tact is the intelligence of the heart.
Tact: Recalling a lady's birthday but forgetting her age.
Take egotism out, and you castrate the benefactors.
Take two crows and caw me in the morning
Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
Talking is another disease of age.
Talking of bulls is not like being in the bull ring.
Teaching: Appearing to have known your subject forever.
Teamwork gives you someone else to blame.
Th-th-th-that's all, folks!
That concept looks like a chicken in a windstorm.
That was a pointing device? My cat thought it was dinner.
That was then, this is now.
That's a smug aura of respectability you see in a mirror?
That's not a bug, that's a feature.
That's right, try hard to be good at the game of life.
The arrogance of age must submit to be taught by youth.
The best armor is to keep out of range.
The best blood at times gets into fools and mosquitoes.
The best defense against logic is stupidity.
The best doctor is the one you run for and can't find.
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
The best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut.
The bird of war is not the eagle but the stork.
The Caldecott Tunnel has less traffic than that vagina.
The cautious seldom err.
The characters in this message are recyclable
The child had every toy his father wanted.
The cinema is not a slice of life but a piece of cake.
The city is not a concrete jungle.  It is a human zoo.
The consumer is not a moron, it is your spouse.
The course of true anything never does run smooth.
The Day of Judgement is approaching, or it is not.
The deeper the sorrow, the less tongue hath it.
The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
The Devil falls on account of his gravity.
The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only heavier
The eventual supremacy of reason should be accepted.
The fewer our wants, the more we resemble the gods.
The first step towards philosophy is incredulity.
The fish in the sea are as good as the fish removed.
The footprint of the owner is the best manure.
The future is not what it used to be.
The greater the ignorance the greater the dogmatism.
The greatest cunning is to have none at all.
The greatest fault is to be conscious of none.
The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.
The hard disk you save may be your own.
The highest bidder catches the most politicians.
The hole and the patch should be commensurate.
The living world is a continuum in each and every aspect.
The longer the title, the less important the job.
The mind grows by what it feeds upon.
The more known about people, the more to admire in dogs.
The mouse with a single hole is quickly caught by the cat
The only argument with the wind is to put on a coat.
The only certainty is that nothing is certain.
The only heavy breathing I ever hear is after aerobics.
The only realities are the atoms and empty space.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it
The only way to judge the future is by knowing the past.
The only winner of the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.
The past is not what it will be.
The pen is the tongue of the mind.
The proof is the phylogeny of plant-animal interactions.
The purification of politics is an iridescent dream. 
The race from stupidity is to the driven, not the swift.
The ripest fruit falls first..
The shortest answer is doing.
The sun is never the worse for shining on a dunghill.
The thing most generally raised on land is taxes.
The tree of liberty is watered with the blood of tyrants.
The trodden path is the safest.
The trouble with a kitten is that, eventually it's a cat.
The truth doesn't hurt unless it ought to.
The truth is one thing that nobody will believe.
The UARTs won't take this speed, Captain.
The wife of a careless man is almost a widow.
The wildest colts make the best steeds.
The wise learn more from fools than fools from the wise.
The woman cries before the wedding; the man afterward.
The world is a beautiful book, for those who can read it.
The world is coming to an end!
The world is like a cactus except the pricks are inside.
The world, as we know it, has come to an end!!
The World: A comedy for thinkers; a tragedy for feelers.
The worst hatred is that of relatives.
The worst thing about censorship is . 
The wrong way always seems the more reasonable.
The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.
Theater: Holding a mirror up to a keyhole.
There are no answers at best a few possibly good guesses.
there are three things that come next, uh four... 
There is a skeleton in every old house.
There is no defense except stupidity against a new idea.
There is no joy in Mudville, mighty Casey has struck out.
There is no such thing as bravery; only degrees of fear.
There's always 1 more SOB than you counted on
There's no skeletons in my closet! 
They are slaves who fear to speak for the fallen & weak.
They who drink beer will think beer.
Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
Things could only be worse in Cleveland.
Think and you won't sink.
Think carefully before wishing, it might just come true.
Think hard now!  Which one is Shinola?
Think much, speak little, and write less.
This door is baroque; please call Bach later.
This fellow's wise enough to play the fool.
This is a good day to let down old friends who need help.
This open hand of desire wants everything.
This tagline is only for the living.
This tagline is umop apisdn.
This tagline no verb.
This tagline stolen by Silly Little Mail Reader!
Those who can, Do. Those who can't, Criticize.
Those whom the gods love grow young.
Those without heads do not need hats.
Thousands of journeys have a start but no end.
Time goes? No.  Alas time stays, we go.
Time is precious, but truth is more so.
Time is the dressmaker specializing in alterations.
Tips: Wages we pay other people's hired help.
To a dog his owner is Napoleon; hence their popularity.
To avoid seeing a fool, break your mirror.
To be a human without passion is to be dead.
To be too clever is to be stupid.
To climb a ladder, you begin with the first rung.
To do nothing is in every person's power.
To excel at what you do, you must love doing it.
To keep your milk sweet, leave it in the cow.
To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.
To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die.
To live now, first come to terms with your past.
To live well, know the difference between good and evil.
To steal this tagline press <CTL> <ALT> <DEL> now. 
To the Caliph I am dirt, but to dirt, I am Caliph.
To the old cat, the tender mouse.
To tolerate everything is to teach nothing.
To understand other's miseries, look at their pleasures.
To whom should I go to for some self-help?
Today has been a long year!!!!!!!!!!
Today I have grown taller from walking with the trees.
Today is a day for making firm decisions!!!!!  Or is it?
Today is the scene of the accident.
Today, take an astronaut to launch.
Too many pages make a tome.
Too often justice is incidental to law and order.
Travel important today;  IRS men arrive tomorrow.
Trust me, would I lie to you..... TWICE?
TV advertising is the rattling inside a swill bucket.
Two of perfect virtue: one dead, the other yet unborn.
Two writes don't make a novel!
Uh, yeah...I MEANT to do that!
Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Halted!
Unbelief in one thing springs = blind belief in another.
Unless to thought is added will, Apollo is an imbecile.
Use your enemy's hand to catch a snake.
Used Car: Not what it is jacked up to be.
Users: Keep them dry and don't feed them after midnight.
Usually insane; in lucid moments merely stupid.
Vulgarity: The conduct of others.
Wait!  That's the FORBIDDEN dance! 
Waiting to overcome all objections, results in nothing.
Wanna giggle? Try (EDITOR=EDLIN !) in anything.
WARNING... drinking tap water may kill your thirst!
We all live in a yellow subroutine.
We are all related...relatively speaking 
We are as made by God us, and often a great deal worse. 
We are in bondage to the law so that we may be free.
We ask advice but we mean approbation.
We have met the enemy, and he's all yours!
We have resumed control...we have resumed control...
We hired you to baby sit. You cooked and ate them BOTH? 
We make our own fortunes and call them our fate.
We NEVER grow up, we just get older, and older, and ...
We're lost, but we're making good time.
We're off doing beta, the wonderful beta of oooz
Wear old clothes when you fight for truth and liberty.
Wedding: A funeral where you smell your own flowers.
Well begun is half done.
What a day may bring, a day may take away.
What are friends for? - R.M. Nixon
What fools these morals be!
What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
What good does it do an ass to be called a lion?
What grammar is to speech, logic is to reason.
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
What is learned in youth is understood in age.
What is the True meaning of DOS?
What is the world to a man when his wife is a widow?
What results from using spot remover on your dog Spot?
What soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals.
What the heck just happened here? 
What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
What we have here is a failure to communicate.
What youth deemed crystal, age finds was dew.
Whatever is well conceived can be well expressed.
When all else is lost, the future still remains.
When all think alike, then no one is thinking.
When choosing between two evils, select the newer one.
When everyone thinks alike, then everyone is stupid.
When in doubt; Cheat !
When no wind blows, even the weather vane has character.
When puns are outlawed only outlaws will have puns
When the bad combine, the good must associate.
When uncertain, or in doubt, run in circles and scream.
When we are not sure, we are alive.
When we can't dream the time for death has arrived.
When you can't make it GOOD, make it BIG!
When you find anything that works, it usually fails.
When you go to the market, use your eyes, not your ears.
When you see a snake, never mind where he came from.
Whenever Possible, Put People On Hold 
Where are those flashbacks they promised me?
Where do honey bees go potty?  At a BP station naturally.
Where law ends, there tyranny begins.
Where there is a stink feces there is the odor of being.
Where there is no shame, there is no honor.
Where you've been means much less than where you're going
Where's there's smoke, there's toast. 
Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.
Why are there so many gnarly limbs on my family tree? 
Window-screen: An arrangement for keeping flies in.
Wisdom of many and the wit of a half.
Wit is the spice of conversation, not the food.
With consequences,  the unexpected always predominate.
With foxes we must play the fox.
Without fingers you cannot even thumb your nose.
Without love and trust all you can be in life is alone.
Without my ignorance, your knowledge would be meaningless
Women and elephants never forget real or supposed injury.
Women take to good hearted men. Also from.
Women's clothes: Go to extremes, seldom to extremities.
Words and ideas are what change our world.
Words are not food, though sometimes we must eat them.
Words, words, words.  And no place to put them all!
Worry is the interest paid on trouble in advance.
Yawn: The only time some men get to open their mouths.
Yeah, but what's the speed of DARK? 
Yes-men: Fellows who hang around the man nobody noes.
Yield to temptation; It may not pass your way again.
You always swat where he's not, or if he is aha! a spot.
You aren't here forever, Enjoy each day as a miracle.
You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories.
You can't do that. It's been digitally cursed. 
You can't eat your friends and have them too.
You can't step twice in the same river.
You cannot be too careful in the choice of your enemies.
You learn as much by writing as you do by reading.
You may be Southern -- but you're no Comfort.
You must know much before you know how little you know.
You realize how short a month when you pay alimony.
You tell 'em Banana, You've been skinned.
You tell 'em Bank, You're safe.
You tell 'em Bean, He's stringing you.
You tell 'em Brake, You've got the drag.
You tell 'em Butcher, You've got a lot of tongue.
You tell 'em cabbage, You've got the head.
You tell 'em calendar, You've got lots of dates.
You tell 'em Cashier, I'm a poor teller.
You tell 'em Cat, That's what you're fur.
You tell 'em Cemetery, You are so grave.
You tell 'em Chloroform, You can put them to sleep.
You tell 'em Church Bell, I told you.
You tell 'em Cigarette, You're lit up.
You tell 'em Clock, You've got the time.
You tell 'em Cucumber, I've been pickled.
You tell 'em Custard Pie, You've got the crust.
You tell 'em Dentist, You've got the pull.
You tell 'em Dictionary, You're full of information.
You tell 'em Doctor, You've got the patience.
You tell 'em Dough, You're well bred.
You tell 'em Electricity, You can shock 'em.
You tell 'em Envelope, You're well posted.
You tell 'em Gambler, You've got winning ways.
You tell 'em Goldfish, You've been around the globe.
You tell 'em Hard-Boiled Egg, You're hard to beat.
You tell 'em Horse, You carry a tale.
You tell 'em Hunter, I'm game.
You tell 'em June, And don't July.
You tell 'em Manicurist, I've been trimmed.
You tell 'em Moon, You're out all night.
You tell 'em Mountain, I'm only a bluff.
You tell 'em Operator, You've got their number.
You tell 'em Owl, You're wise.
You tell 'em Piano, You're upright and square.
You tell 'em playing cards, You know the joker.
You tell 'em Printer, I'm not your type.
You tell 'em Railroad, It's not along my line.
You tell 'em September Morn, No one has anything on you.
You tell 'em Shoemaker, You know awl.
You tell 'em Simon, I'll Legree.
You tell 'em Skyscraper, You have more than one story.
You tell 'em Submarine, I can't seaplane.
You tell 'em teacher, You've got the class.
You tell 'em, Bald Head, You're smooth.
Young gorillas are friendly, but they soon learn.
Youngsters remember anything if it happened or not.
Your sin, was it of omission, commission, or emission?
Your sweet words suck the morning dew off the honeysuckle
Youth + confidence + myopia = naivete.
Youthful figure: What you get when asking a woman's age.
ZMODEM has bigger bits, softer blocks, and tighter ASCII.
"A cult is a religion with no political power." -- Wolfe
"A man must not swallow more beliefs than he can digest."
"A pious man is one who would be an atheist if the king were."
"All places are distant from Heaven alike." -- Burton
"All religions suck..." -- Biafra
"All this and heaven too." -- Henry
"An eye for an eye" only ends up making the whole world blind...
"An honest God is the noblest work of man." -- Ingersoll
"And all these wonders were destroyed to create Lucifer?"
"And I ain't too old to hurry, 'cause I ain't to young to die..."
"Animals... God's first blunder." -- Nietzsche
"At bottom God is nothing more than an exalted father."  - Sigmund Freud
"At our last meeting I died.  It alters the appearance."
"Attila the Nun: a simple girl pledged to a life of brutality."
"Be kind to all except Non-Christians and Pro-Choicers" -- Bible
"Better an authentic Mammon than a bogus God." -- MacNeice
"Blessed are you among women."
"Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus."
"Born again?  Excuse me for getting it right the first time!"
"But for the grace of God goes I." -- Bradford
"Christianity has made of death a terror." -- Ouida
"Christianity taught that love is worth more than intelligence."
"Crucifixion!"  "Yeah, first offense."
"Do you think God lets you plea bargain?"        - Calvin
"Do you think there's a heaven where some screams have gone?"
"Easy credit terms available." -- Satan
"Even God cannot change the past." -- Agathon
"Ever spent an evening with Iscariot?  How depressing..." -- Jesus
"Everyone appreciates compassion".<HH The Dalai Lama>
"Everyone is as God made him, and often a great deal worse."
"Faith which does not doubt is a dead faith." -- Unamuno
"Fear God, and take your own part." -- Borrow
"God created woman to tame man." -- Voltaire
"God heals & the doctor takes the fee."    - Poor Richard
"God is a verb, not a noun, proper or improper." -- Fuller
"God is love.  But what a mischievous devil Love is." -- Butler
"God is subtle but he is not malicious" - A. Einstein"
"God made the country, and man made the town." -- Cowper
"God said, "Let Newton be!" and all was light." Pope
"God the first garden made, and the first city Cain." -- Cowley
"God will pardon me.  It is His trade." -- Heine
"GOD" Created Adam & Eve not Adam & Steve...
"God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability."
"Gods would resemble the bodies each species possesses."
"Got enough guilt to start my own religion."
"Grace is given of God; knowledge is bought in a market."
"Have nothing to do whatsoever with dying." -- Maugham
"He's gone to join the majority." -- Petronius
"Heaven lies about us in our infancy." -- Wordsworth
"Heaven sends us good meat, but the Devil sends us cooks."
"Help yourself, and Heaven will help you." -- Fontaine
"Help, I've fallen and I can't get up" -- Satan
"Hey, Darwin!  Bite me!" -- God
"Hey, Noah!  How long can you tread water?" -- God
"His Christianity was muscular." -- Disraeli
"His looks do menace heaven and dare the Gods." -- Marlowe
"Holy water is rusting me." -- Soundgarden
"How often are we to die before we go off this stage?" -- Pope
"How's God?"  "Errr, she's black, sir"
"I am a reporter; God exists only for leader-writers."
"I believe in a God that doesn't need heavy financing." - Fletch
"I believe that the power to make money is a gift from God."
"I could prove God statistically."        - George Gallup
"I count religion but a childish toy." -- Marlowe
"I didn't say it.  Milton said it.  And he was blind." -- Lucifer
"I do not know myself, and God forbids that I should."
"I don't hate religious people; I find them comical." -- Mencken
"I feel sorry for the lions." -- Any Jesuit.
"I guess we can think that God has gone bad." -- Nitzer Ebb
"I killed the Greek piper god," Tom deadpanned.
"I myself, here on Earth, might be God." -- Heine
"I shall not altogether die." -- Horace
"I swear to tell the truth, so help me me." -George Burns, as God
"I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul."
"I want to know God's thoughts... the rest are details." -- Heine
"Ideology is history full of myth, but devoid of fact."
"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God..." James 1:5
"If I forget thee, Lord, do not thou forget me." -- Astley
"If you can't help, at least don't hurt others" HH Dalai Lama
"In case of rapture, please grab the wheel."
"In God we trust... all others we voice verify" -- Scherker
"In the Name of The Old Man, The Kid, and The Spook, Amen."
"Is man one of God's blunders, or is God one of man's?"
"It is as absurd to argue men, as to torture them, into belief."
"It is impossible to prove God through any normal means." -- Kant
"It's the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution."
"Jesus Christ!"             "This is no time for prayer!"
"Jesus Loves You.  I Don't.  Get Out Of My Way."
"Jesus save me from your followers"
"Jesus saves; Moses invests; I speculate."
"Jesus was a crackpot." -- Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
"Jesus!  With all thy faults I love thee still." -- Butler
"Jesus!"   "This is no time for prayer!"
"Just like those miserable Psalms -- they're so depressing!"
"Kill them all!  God will know his own!" -- Arnold
"Kindness is my true religion." <The 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet>
"La illah ill'Allah!"  There is no god but God!
"Let heaven exist, even though our estate be hell." -- Borges
"Let us trust in God who has always fooled us in the past."  - Unknown
"Look, pal... I was nailed to a tree for being a nice guy!" -- Jesus
"Lord give me chastity - but not yet."  - Saint Augustine
"Lord, don't let this doofus atheist croak..."
"Man has never been the same since God died." -- Millay
"Man has the one true religion.  Several of them!" -- Twain
"May the Gods avert this omen." -- Cicero
"Men would be angels.  Angels would be gods." -- Pope
"Miracles do not happen." -- Arnold
"Monotheism is but imperialism in religion." -- Breasted
"My country is the world, and my religion is to do good."
"My folks went to Turin and all I got was this lousy shroud"
"My God," exclaimed the tagline. "I'm in the wrong joke!"
"My mind is not for rent to any God or government."
"My true religion is kindness." <HH The Dalai Lama>
"Nature is but a name for an effect whose cause is God."
"Nietzsche is dead." -- God
"No, Grasshopper! Carry Hibachi by HANDLES!" - Master Po
"Not Angles but angels." -- Pope Gregory the Great
"Nothing is as fatal to religion as indifference." -- Burke
"Of course I'll vouch for him... such a nice Boy!" -- Mrs. God
"Of what I call God and fools call Nature." -- Browning
"Oh come, all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant!"
"Oh death, where is thy sting?  Oh grave, where is thy victory?"
"Oh Lord, if there is a Lord, save my soul, if I have a soul."
"OK guys, let me down!  I was only kidding!" - Christ, on the cross.
"Okay guys, let me down. I was only kidding." -- Jesus
"Old religious factions are volcanoes burnt out." -- Burke
"One dies only once, and it's for such a long time." -- Moliere
"One must expect a few thunderbolts if one would play with gods."
"One word for any atheists among you:  Wrong!" -- God
"Ooops," said God, "I meant a BUD light..."
"Our religion is made so as to wipe out vices." -- Montaigne
"Oy Vey! Terrible craftsmanship on this cross..." Jesus
"Persecution is a bad and indirect way to plant religion."
"Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition..."
"Prove to me that you're divine; change my water into wine!"
"Real are the dreams of Gods." -- Keats
"Religion is a smile on a dog." -- Edie Brickell
"Religion is in the heart, not in the knees." -- Jerrold
"Religion is like a smile on a dog." - Edie Brickell
"Religion is morality touched by emotion." -- Arnold
"Religion is superstition enslaving a philosophy." -- Inge
"Religion is what keeps the poor from killing the rich."
"Scratch the Christian and you find the pagan... spoiled."
"SECOND COMING (def): When Mom sends Jesus back to take out the trash"
"See in what peace a Christian can die." -- Addison
"Shh!  The Christians think they're alone up here." -- God
"Since observed by yours truly, God." -- Anonymous
"Sing on, with hymns uproarious, ye humble and aloof."
"So much wrong could religion induce." -- Lucretius
"So you're saying that Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?"
"Spoken like a true messiah." -- Bachman
"Superstition is the poetry of life." -- Von Goethe
"Superstition is the religion of feeble minds." -- Burke
"That can't be Jesus.  He looks like a 7-11 cashier!"
"The above Statement is absolutely True." --God
"The Bible is literature, not dogma." -- Santayana
"The cross has been carried forward on the hilt of the sword."
"The Devil can cite scripture for his purpose." -- Antonio
"The Devil watches all opportunities." -- Congreve
"The Devil's most devilish when respectable." -- Browning
"The fear of God keeps men in obedience." -- Burton
"The glory of God is intelligence." -- Young
"The good shepherd doth call you."  (Alma 5:38)
"The hands that help are holier than the lips that pray."
"The idea of Christ is much older than Christianity."
"The Lord loves a hangin', that's why he gave us necks."
"The mad are all in God's keeping." -- Kipling
"The nearer the Church, the farther from God." -- Andrewes
"The universe is one of God's thoughts." -- Schiller
"The will of God is the sancuary of ignorance." - Spinoza
"The world is proof that God is a committee." -- Stokes
"There isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate compassion"<Dalai Lama>
"There may be a heaven.  There must be a hell." -- Browning
"There's a little Buddha in all of us" <HH The Dalai Lama>
"They are for religion when in rags and contempt." -- Bunyon
"Thou hast conquered, oh pale Galilean." -- Swinburne
"Though God cannot alter the past, historians can." -- Butler
"To believe only possibilities is not faith, but philosophy."
"We have used the Bible as if it were a constable's handbook."
"We haven't heard the Devil's side.  God wrote all the books."
"We've been sitting on the fence for far too long!" -- Kaiphas
"What do I call you?  Lucifer?  Satan?" -- Joe Malik
"What is a cult?  Not enough people to make a minority."
"What men or gods are these?" -- Keats
"What must I do to convince you people?!?" ... "Die."
"What parish priest would not like to be Pope?" -- Voltaire
"When did I say build an amusement park?"         - Jesus
"Whom the gods love die young no matter how long they live."
"Whom the gods love die young." -- Byron
"Without books God is silent." -- Bartholin
"Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil."
"Words are men's daughters, but God's sons are things." -- Madden
"Worship is transcendent wonder." -- Carlyle
"You saw God?"            "Er, yes...and she's black, sir."
$ In God we trust, all others pay cash.
$665.95 - retail beast price
$717.06 - beast plus 8% GST
'E's not pinin'!  'E's passed on!
'Rejoice in the hope..persevere in prayer.'ROMANS 12:12
(!@&*#%^!#%) Censored by God Himself...
(gya kay haku mason = Tibetan for I don't understand chinese)
+1 Thumping Bible, +3 vs. Jehova's WItnesses.
.666 - caliber of the beast
14 stab wounds, shot 3 times, worst case of suicide ever.
334 - number of the complemented beast
665:  Across the street from the Beast and one down.
666,999:  The beast and the great whore.
667-6666:  The Wrong Number of the Beast
667:  Satan's neighbor.
668:  The Neighbor Of The Beast
9 out of 10 rotweilers prefer Jehovah's Witnesses.
A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird..Tao of Poo
A Buddist nudist practices yoga bare.
A coward mistakes oppression for peace.
A cult is a religion with no political power.
A cult is any religion without political power.
A devil in a black dress wanders by...
A few random taglines:
A god cannot survive as a memory.
A god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs.
A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit.
A halo has only to fall a few centimeters to become a noose.
A heavy night snowstorm is God saying: "Take today off."
A journey of a thousand li starts under one's feet...Lao tzu
A man should live forever, or die trying.
A martyr is a hero who didn't make it.
A skeptic is a person who would ask God for his ID card.
A thousand pardons Grasshopper...
A triangle will tell you that God is three-sided.
A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely.  Ergo God is Evil.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely.  Just look at God.
Accept Jesus Christ as my personal savior? That'd be really selfish!
According to the Weather Channel, Hell just froze over...
Ack!  The Gospel According To Fundamentally Oral Bill.
Adam had the first soda fountain; he made Eve's cherry pop.
Adam to Eve: "Stand back, I dunno how big this thing gets."
Against boredom, even the gods themselves struggle in vain.
Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain.
Agnosticism: What is this shit?
All gods play with loaded dice.
All human life ends when you take a "dirt nap."
All police killings are in self-defense.
All religions are real for the believer.
All things rude and nasty, The Lord God made the lot.
Altar Ego:  A *humongous* church.
Altar Ego: A conceited church.
Always remember you are not God.  You can make mistakes.
An atheist has no invisible means of support.
An ethical man is a Christian holding four aces.
Ancient Chinese curse:"May you live in interesting times"
And are you so smug as to think YOU'RE going to Heaven?
And God said, "Do you want fries with that?"
And God said, "E = �mv� - Ze�/r" ...and there *was* light!
And God said, "I'll buy a vowel."
And God said, "Let Chandrasekhar be"... and all had it's limits.
And God said, "Let Einstein be"... and all was relative.
And God said, "Let Heisenberg be"... and all was uncertain.
And God said, "Let Ohm be"... and all resisted thereafter.
And God said, "Let Planck be"... and all was quantified.
And God said, "Let there be cats!" and He was promptly ignored
And God said, "Let there be echomail." On the seventh day he read it.
And God said, "Let there be light", and there was FPL.
And God said, "Let there be light, but make it quick."
And God said, "Let there be Rule 8."  And there was Rule 8.
And God said, "Let there be tagline theft." And the words vanished..
And God said, "NO NO, DON'T TOUCH THA..." <Big Bang>
And God said, Let there be 16.8k baud...
And God said:  E = �mv� - Ze�/r  ...and there was light!
And God said:  Let there be idiots.
And God said: E = *mv* - Ze*/r ...and there was light!
And Man said:  "Let there be God," and there was God!
And on the 8th Day God said, "Murphy, you're in charge."
And on the 8th day he looked into a mirror, and saw God
And on the 8th day, God switched to OLX 2.2 !
And on the seventh day He took an aspirin.
And on the seventh day, He exited from append mode.
And Satan said to God, "But where will YOU get a lawyer?"
And the Devil said to God, "But where will *you* find a lawyer?"
And the shepherd's two sons were called Baaaasil and Laaambert.
And then Adam said, "What's a headache?"
And then the Nun said "No, give me the banana!"
And they saith unto Jesus,"How the @#$! did you do that?"
And they sayeth unto Jesus:  "How in the hell did you do that?!"
And y'all don't ferget the book burnin' party at the church Satiddy
Angels can fly since they take themselves lightly.
Angels fly 'cause they take themselves lightly.
Annoy a fundi:  Ask them about Jim Jones and Adolph Hitler
Annoy a fundi:  Ask them about Luke 6:30
Annoy a fundi:  Show them GOD$LOVE.GIF today!
Anti, hell!  I'm the Uncle-Christ!
Anti-woman, anti-gay, born-again bigots go away!
Any priest or shaman is guilty until proven innocent.
Any religion that rejects coffee worships a false god.
Anyone can walk on water, just know where the rocks are.
Anything not a constant, is not a commandment from God.
Aquamortis: To continue watering a plant weeks after it has died.
Are you gonna die soon and leave your money to someone?
Arseholes are where God divided by zero.
As Gandhi once said, "Holy Cow!"
As pure as Jim Bakker himself.
As soon as you realize I'm God, we'll get along fine.
As you stroll through life always remember: HELL SUCKS!
Ask someone to take a snapshot of you shaking hands with the deceased.
Ask the widow if you can have the body to practice tattooing on.
At bottom God is nothing more than an exalted father.
At last, I'm organized, he said, and then died.
At the cemetary take bets on how long it takes a body to decompose.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Atheism: I don't believe this shit.
Atheist achieving an orgasm:  Oh, random!  Oh, chance!
Atheist problem #6:  No one to talk to during sex.
Athiest acheiving an orgasm:  "Oh, random!  Oh, chance!"
Athiest Christmas movie: "Coincidence on 34th Street"
Attila the Nun: a simple girl pledged to a life of brutality.
Bad news mom, I sold my soul to the devil
Baptism: A kind of damp bar mitzvah.
Baptist angels don't dance anywhere.
Baptists don't like to discuss their sex lies.
Baptists don't make love standing up.  It's too close to dancing.
Barium............ What you do when C.P.R. fails.
Baseball is in the Bible, too: In the Big Inning...
Be patient... God isn't finished with me yet!
Be really whole and all things will come to you <Lao Tzu>
Beam me up Scotty! The rabbit just died!
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me...
Before you see the light, you must die.
Believe in a loving God, infidel, or die!
Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God - 1 John 4:7
Beware of dark rooms ... They might be the morgue.
Beware when God lets loose a thinker on this planet.
Bible is copyrighted by God.
Biblical computer languages - "Go FORTH and multiply!"
Biblical constipation - "Baalam's ass would not move"
Biblical drugs - Mary Magdalen getting stoned
Biblical Formula 1 Racing - "All of Israel heard the roar of his Triumph"
Biblical laxatives - "Moses took two tablets and went up on the mount"
Biblical motorcycles - "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land"
Biblical of sex - "Jesus was Layed in the tomb"
Biblical race fixing - "Jesus told Lazarus to "come Fourth"
Biblical smoking - "Sarah lit up on a camel"
Bio-Genetix Engineering:  Playing God so you don't have to.
Black Holes are what happens when God divides by zero.
Black holes are where God did nothing, in a *big* way!
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Black holes are where God forgot to cancel the infinities
Black holes are where God is dividing by zero.
Black holes resulted when MS tried to beat a deadline!
Black holes were created when God divided by zero.
Blessed are the cross-eyed; for they shall see God twice.
Blessings never come in pairs; misfortunes never come alone.
Book of Mormon: another witness of Jesus Christ and the Word of God.
Born *again*?  Your mother didn't do it right the FIRST time?
Born again Christians are such a pain because the second birth was annal.
Born Again Pagan.
Born again.  And again.  And again.
Born Again? - My goddess got it right the first time.
Born-again Christians are worse the second time round.
Braindead:(n)The mental state of most members of the Catholic church
Braise The Lord (325 degrees for an hour, & add veggies)
Braise the Lord!  350 degrees for an hour!
Braise the lord! 325 degrees for an hour! Add veggies
Braise the Lord! 350 degrees for one hour.  Add veggies.
Braise the Lord: 325 degrees, 1 hour; add veggies; simmer 'til tender.
Braised be the Lord.
Bring out your dead!  <klang>
BTW, does Jesus know you flame?
Buddhism: If shit happens, It realy isn't shit.
Bumper sticker on a hearse:  I'd rather be breathing
Busier than a Mormon at a wife swapping party...
But God TOLD me to use a GOTO.
By God, for a moment there it all made sense...
Cain's wife's name was Nodacain.  Her mother-in-law was Novacain.
Can a baby be born born again?
Can God make a rock so big He can't lift it?
Can God make a rock so big She can't lift it?
Catholic girls...they never confess.
Catholicism: Boy, what a cult. Children are born into it.
Catholicism: If "stuff" happens, you deserve it.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Catholics do it a LOT!
Children come from God.  He can't stand the noise either.
Choose heaven for climate, hell for society.
Choose heaven for climate; choose Hell for society.
Christ died for our sins, so let's not disappoint him.
Christ died for our sins.  Let's not disappoint Him!
Christ from the cross: "Peter...I can see your house from here."
Christ is coming...and is he ever pissed!
Christian Science Programming: "Let God Debug It!"
Christianity is not a RELIGION, it is a RELATIONSHIP!
Christianity is not a religion, it's an industry.
Christianity:  Please help find the cure.
Christians do it with grace
Christians For Chainguns.  All rights reserved.
Christians will please refrain from biting lions!
Christios, the cereal of zealots. They walk on milk!
City Morgue: You stab 'em, we slab 'em.
Clumsiness is next to godliness...
Coffee flavored cigarettes...kill yourself twice as fast.
Coffin not available. Press F10 to cremate
Come forth Lazarus! And he came fifth and lost the job.
Come in for a faith lift.
Come to Ch*ch.  What is missing?
Condomise before you part the thighs.
Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.
Confuciousism: Confucious say, Shit happens.
Conserve Electricity - Support Lethal Injections
Copyright (c) 1993  Knights of Christianity United in Faith.
Cross your legs!  We only have three nails.
Crucifixion's a bad way to kill yourself. You can't get that last nail in.
Crucifixion: hanging out in the truest form.
DATACOMMUNTICATION: If God had a hobby, this would be the one!
Davidian candy:  Full of nuts and won't come out of the wrapper.
Dead Athiest: All dressed up and nowhere to go!
Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.
Death is just Gods way of dropping carrier.
Death...God's tagline
DEATH:  To stop sinning suddenly.
Death? Life? I never did understand Zen.
Denial of the existance of God IS a religious practice!
Did God doze off before he created the land of Nod?
Did the devil really create the world when God wasn't looking?
Die smiling, life is too important to take seriously.
Dilate: What happens when you live too long.
Din't mean to?! You put your sword right thru his head!
Diode: What happens to people who don't die young.
Diversity is God's way of amusing himself.
Do agnostics engage in idol speculation?
Do agnostics really say, 'Oh, bother' when their planes go down?
Do evangelists do more than lay people?
Do health nuts die of nothing?
Do I BELIEVE in the Bible?! HELL man, I've SEEN one!!!
Do ministers do more than lay people?
Do not believe in miracles - rely on them!
Do not wait for an echo when you drop a rose petal.
Do TV Evangelists do more than lay people?
Do unions picket God for working a six day week?
Do you get repossessed if you don`t pay your exorcist?
Do you know JESUS? If so, tell him he owes me $2.
Do you suppose God believes in solipsism?
Do you think reverse phsychology works with the gods?
Do you think this would be a good time to get religious?
Does "Thou Shalt Not Steal" apply to taglines?
Does GOD grade on the curve?
Does God have reality backed up on tape?
Dog Sees God         Damn, it's backwards
Dogs think they're human, but cats think they're gods.
Don't be an Atheist... there aren't enough holidays.
Don't let stress kill you off - let someone help!
Don't make 'em like they used to, thank God
Don't need a new religion, haven't used up the old one.
Don't worry.  We're on a mission from God.
Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.
Drive no faster than your guardian angel can fly.
Drop that cross once more and You're out of the parade.
Dry as a funeral drum!
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing wha
Dyslexic Agnostics wonder if there really is a doG
Dyslexic atheists don't believe in dog.
Dyslexic Christian sells soul to Santa!    Film at 11:00.
Dyslexic devil worshippers sell their souls to Santa.
Dyslexic Satanist sells soul to Santa.
Dyslexic sells soul to Santa; film at 11.
Easter has been canceled folks.  They found the body.
Easter has been cancelled...they found the body.
Easter has been cancled this year; they found the body.
Easter kit on sale now! Comes with 2 boards, 3 nails and a martyr.
Easter kit! Comes Complete!  2 boards, 3 nails and a martyr.
Easy credit, terms available... --Satan
Eat healthy, exercise daily, and die young anyway.
Eat healthy, exercise regularly, and die anyway.
Eat properly, get lots of exercise - and die anyway.
Eeny Meeny, Jelly Beanie, spirits are about to speak.
Electric chairs are period furniture; they end a sentence.
Electrocution: Burning at the stake with all the modern improvements.
Elvis A. Presley (Aron or Aaron?)  Jesus H. Christ (nobody knows)
Enjoy life! This is not a dress rehearsal.
Equal opportunity heretic.
ERROR loading GOD.SYS (A)bort or (U)nzip BIGBANG.ZIP?
Eternal Damnation, Come and stay a long while!
Evangelists do more than lay people, sometimes.
Eve - "do you love me, Adam?"    |     Adam - "Who else?"
Eve was the first carpenter.  She made Adam's banana stand.
Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.
Even the finest teaching is not the Tao itself.
Ever notice the AT&T symbol looks like the Death Star?
Every person gets to heaven in their own way.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Everything furthers. I Ching
Everything must Change! Stagnation is Death! - Lao Tzu
Evolution is RELIGIOUS because it can't be proven!
Evolution: God's way of issuing updates
Experience the cleansing power of blasphemy....
Experience the unique cleansing power of blasphemy.
Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
Faith is powerful, but only when accompanied by enlightenment.
Faith:  Permitting ourselves to be seized by things we don't see.
Famous last words - Jesus Christ: Father, beam me up.
Famous Last Words:  "Allah sucks!"
Feed your faith and starve your doubts to death.
Fidonet just IS.  It's a Zen thing :-)
Fidonet just IS.  It's a Zen thing :-)  <Holly Sullivan>
Find God?!?  Why?  Is he missing?
Find Jesus? I didn't know he was LOST!
Find Jesus? I didn't know he was lost. Try under the sofa.
First listen to sermon, THEN eat missionary.
First listen to the sermon, THEN eat the missionary.
First shalt thou pull out the Holy Pin
For further information, consult God.
For God's sake, don't let them make any more progress!
For more information, please ask GOD!
For some: know God & know peace/others: no God & no peace
For we have not followed cunningly devised fables 2Pe1:16
For when you're tired of choosing the lesser of two evils.
For your penance, say 5 Hail Marys and one loud BLAH!
For your penance, say five Hail Marys and one loud BLAH!
Forbidden fruit is responsible for many a bad jam.
Forgive me father for I have syned
Forgive us, for we know not what we do.  Not that we CARE or anything.
Free Bible!  Just download JOANOF.ARC
Freedom of religion is also freedom FROM religion. . .
Frisbyterian: When you die, your soul goes up on the roof.
From the Church Of Logic, Sin And Love...
Fundamentalism means never having to open one's mind.
Fundamentalism, n.: Fund=give money.  Amentalism=without brains.
Fundamentalism:  Fund (give cash); amentalism (without brains).
Fundamentalism:(adj.), Fund-(give cash),-amentalism (without brains)
Fundamentalist libraries only need shelf space for one book.
Fundamentalist:  One who's mental and wants your funds.
Fundamentalists do it with Christ.
Fundamentalists, fanatics and nuts...oh my!
Fundi logic: Bible says it.  Evendence contratdics it.  Bible is right.
Fundies and Undies.  Neither should air in public.
G.O.D.----- Great Omnipresent Discrepancy
Garbage in, Gospel out.
Gays don't recruit, Christians do!
Get a taste of religion. Bite a preacher.
Get a taste of religion.....bite a nun!
Get thee behind me Satan!  You push and I'll steer...
Get thee behind me Satan.  I was here first.
Get thee down. Be thou funky.
Get your exercise as a pallbearer for exercising friends.
Glory to the Goddess, by all her names, known and unkown!
Go hence, and sin more creatively next time.
God always has another custard pie up His sleeve.
God and Pete duked it out to decide for who's sake it really is.
God and tyrants will be combined intoCatholic church to save time.
God Bless America, but God help Canada to put up with them!
God corrected her 1st mistake, by creating Eve.
God created man first because He didn't want any advice.
God created man first, a rough draft, then a masterpiece.
whatever to do with it.
"And do you know what's inside?  A priiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiize!" --Stimpy
"C'mon everybody, let's have a hoedown!"  --Stimpy
"Do you have to keep tapping like that?  You bloated sack of protoplasm!"
"Ehh ... we've *evolved*." --Ren
"Ever breathe oxygen kid? Good, don't start.  Me, I'm hooked. Get it?" -Muddy
"Happy happy happy ... peel peel peel." --Stimpy
"He looks good ... mighty good!"  --Mr. Horse
"He talks to *farts*, man!"  --Magic Nose Goblin
"Heeey ... this is PRIVATE!"  --Stimpy
"Hey kids, start jumping up and down like idiots!" --The Log Promo
"Hey you, YAK!  Where's your tag?" -Ren
"I smell something steeeenky!"  --Nerve ending fairy
"I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs!"  --Stinky Wizzleteats
"I'm gonna be a monkey, monkey monkey muuuunkey!" --Stimpy
"I'm gonna hit ya ... and you're gonna faaaaaall." --Ren
"I've had it up to HERE with the likes of you people!" --Fire Chief
"I've known fellers like that." --Fire Chief
"Instantly, Powdered Toast Man ... ASSESSES the situation!" --Announcer
"Lemme Go!  Lemme Go!  I'm hurting!" -- Ren Hoek
"Maaaybe something good, maaaybe something bad ... we don't know!" --Ren
"Momma always liked you best!!! --Ren Hoek to Stimpy, "The Baby Scam"
"No sir, I don't like it." --Mr. Horse
"Note how the smooth butt adds a regal appearance to your showdog."
"Now I see from whence the stench came." --Ren
"Oh my beloved ice cream bar ... how I love to lick your creamy center!" --R
"Oh no!  My favorite couch!  My favorite TV!  My favorite friend!" --Ren
"Oh no--- I know what you want--- You coveteth my ice cream bar!" -Ren
"Oh! I'm sorry. I thought you were circus midgets." --Fire Chief
"Oh, you like this game, huh?  Do you reeeeeeeeeealy like it?" --Ren
"Pillage pillage pillage ... loot loot loot!"  --Stimpy
"Recruits Ren and Stimpy please report to tear gas training ... DUH ..."
"See how I LOVE to clean FEEEELTHY CATBOXES!!!!" --Ren
"See this button?  It's the history eradicator button." --Ren
"See?!? I'm the cat!" -Ren
"Silly me.  I had a whole pocketful of change all along! How ironic!"
"Squeak.  Squeak, I tell you, SQUEAK!"  --Ren
"Stimpy!  Move your butt!  It's a higher mammal!" -Ren
"Stinky is not a fantasy, he IS real.  And I will find him!"  --Stimpy
"This thing makes the coolest noises!" --Cadet Stimpy
"What a great couple of guys he is..." --Ren
"Why that *is* a mouse, and he's beating up on our cheese!" --Mr. Pipe
"Will evil ever rest?  I hope not."  --Powdered Toast Man
"Yillickers!  It's so beeg!"  --Sven Hoek
"You could Martinize your shorts!  Spackle the den!" -Ren
"You gave away ... FORTY-SEVEN MILLION DOLLARS?" -- Ren Hoek to Stimpy
"You sick little monkey! Don't you know cartoons will ruin your mind?" --Ren
"You sick little monkey!"  --Ren
Airehair terrier - A dog riding with its head out the car window.
Airloin - Unidentified airline entree served in-flight.
Airplause - Gratuitous ovation awarded a pilot on a safe landing.
Allasis - One-stop gas/food/everything store in the middle of nowhere.
Aneedawhack - An obnoxious, spoiled child in a mall.
Applaflammaphobia - A vacation fear that the house will burn down.
Applerocket - A New York cab.
Aquamortis - To continue watering a plant weeks after it has died.
Aquello - The brilliant yellow identifying waterproof materials.
Areoma - The odor from an exercise room after an aerobics class.
Arkideo - A kid who hangs around video arcades.
Armad - A person carrying a big shopping bag bearing a store logo.
At&tell - Confession hot line.
AT&timidator - A forceful phone salesperson.
At&twits - Phone solicitors.
Autopinion - A bumper sticker.
Autumnmatt - A lawn covered with leaves.
Bandile - The thin red strip one pulls to release a bandage.
Barcissist - The person in every bar staring at himself in the mirror.
Barebear - A very worn teddy bear kept from childhood.
Barfbuffet - Airline flip-down trays.
Barfscarf - An ugly tie.
Beavo - A pencil with teeth marks all over it.
Bimbo - Fictional biographical data on the back side of a centerfold.
Bo nose - The tip of a deodorant dispenser.
Bogustie - Clip-on bow ties that look real but aren't.
Booblading - Carving a jack-o'-lantern.
Bovilexia - The urge to yell 'Moo!' every time you pass a cow.
Bozoom - The circus clown shot out of a cannon.
Bubbleweiser - The yellow liquid found in a carpenter's level.
Bullsheet - A advertising supplement in a newspaper.
Bunionettes - Any young professional women in a suit and Reeboks.
Buttnut - A rodeo clown.
Buzzbundle - A six-pack of beer.
Byebyte - Losing a file in your computer.
Caffidget - To break up an emptied Styrofoam cup into 100's of pieces.
Canalpal - A bug flies into your ear.
Caniscootus - A dog pushing its food bowl around the floor as it eats.
Carbcozy - Foam sleeve holder for a canned beverage.
Castcaspers - Dead movie stars appearing in old movies on T.V.
Cheedle - Residue left on fingers after eating a bag of Cheetos.
Chinoggy - A used paper plate.
Chronesia - The tendency to not know the time after checking.
Chruff - The line of grease on your leg after dismounting a bicycle.
Churters - Grill marks on a wienie.
Cigadent - Any accident involving a cigarette.
Clevelage - The sight one see when a large repair man bends over.
Clucket - A large container of take-out chicken.
Coinophony - Pocket concerts conducted by people jiggling keys, etc.
Condogminium - A fancy doghouse.
Cornus vacadus - A corncob stripped clean of kernels.
Corportrait - Employee photo I.D.
Cryptoplate - License plates that can't be deciphered at a red light.
Cubbish - Candy wrapper refuse.
Curbpie - A hubcap on the side of the road.
Desseratation - A waiter's litany of what's on the dessert cart.
Detroit degas - A car up on blocks in a yard.
Detruncus - Diving into a wave then looking around for your trunks.
Digimenmonic - Vanity phone numbers like 1-800-BARGAIN.
Dognut - The giant nut on the side of a fire hydrant.
Doilywhiff - The smell in your grandmother's home.
Dollidiapers - Blankets in a U-Haul.
Dowdounce - Someone who knows nothing about the stock market.
Droolettes - Yummy sounds dinners make when the dessert cart comes.
Druthemuggin' - Choosing the right mug for your morning coffee.
Druzz - Lint caught on the clothes dryer filter.
Dunebogey - Golf course sand trap.
Fumasphere - The row of seats adjacent to the smoking area.
Gauzepressions - The gray sticky outline left behind by any bandage,
Greepers - People who walk up the down escalator to appear motionless.
Hackindeeminor - Contagious coughing between movements of a symphony.
Halaska - the box on a U.S. map that shows the 49th and 50th states.
Hemoplugs - Small pieces of toilet paper applied to shaving wounds.
Inknition - The metal clicker at the top of ball point pens.
Meganegabar - The line you draw across "the amount" on a check.
Memoglyphics - Any grocery list that cannot be read once at the store.
Mirrorcide - Leading cause of death among finches and parakeets.
Napjerk - The sudden body convulsions as one is about to doze off.
Newspamper - The plastic bag the paper comes in on rainy/snowy days.
Nostridamus - Nose itch when your hands are unable to scratch it.
Pepsunami - The tidal wave of carbonation that cascades over the edge.
Piano Mouth - Particular condition after one has eaten chocolate cake.
Pockalanche - Perpetual action where items fall out of a shirt pocket.
Radiolimbo - Long stretches of highway where there is no decent radio.
Scrabitch - Unscratchable itch in the center of your back.
Slurm - The slime that accumulates in the bottom of the soap dish.
Sperrets - Those marks you get on your face from sleeping on chenille.
Thrift shock - Spotting previously owned items at a Salvation Army.
UPGRADE -  Condum with a splint!
Witlag - The delay between delivery and comprehension of a joke.
"A good man doesn't betray his own people!" -- Kira
"Good Morning!  Nice of you guys to drop by!" - Han
"Goodbye cruel world, I'm leaving you today .." Pink Floyd
"How good do you have to be to qualify as good?" -- Calvin
"I was right, Dax.  It is a good day to die." -- Kang
"If you think Health Care is expensive now, wait until it's free!"
"Knowledge, sir, should be free to all!" -- Harry Mudd
"Mom, what's an orgasm?"   "I don't know.  Ask your dad."
"Perhaps...it is a good day to live." - Kang
"Safer Sex" used to mean "Lock the office door first."
"Safer Sex" used to mean "Park the car first."
4 of 5 Sysops prefer donuts; one prefers women...but she's strange.
69 is being head over heels in love
All work and no play make Jack a dull boy and Jill a wealthy widow.
Apes were invented because politicians were needed. --Isaac Asimov.
Aural sex produces eargasms.
Democrats: The Liberal Hypocrite Party.
Don't try to scare an armed man. Success will get you a tombstone.
Florida rental car special:  A free bullet-proof vest with each car.
Freedom is doing what you like, happiness liking what you do.
Hokey religions n' ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster...
I love animals.......they're delicious!
If love is blind, Lingerie makes great braille.
If you aren't OUTRAGED, you aren't paying attention!
If you do not strive with others, you will be free from blame-Lao Tzu
If you don't know who Asimov is, I can't help you with your android.
Isaac Asimov 1920-1993 -- You are missed.
Life is a yo-yo, and humans tie knots in the string.
Loggers don't need job re-training... Bill Clinton does!!!
No, Silver Xpress is NOT run by`[0;1;40;31m Am`[37mtr`[34mak`[0m ...
Ok Republicans, now that we won, let's show them how to do it RIGHT!
Perhaps more assassinations and fewer lawsuits... <Chiun>
Please excuse us while we clean House ... and Senate.
Sorry...I must have bypassed my good taste chip. -- Kryten
The GOP has a Contract With America. Clinton has one ON America...
The Government and Media are lying to you!
The question isn't "are you paranoid," but "are you paranoid enough?" ___
To hell with 0 to 60:  It's 95 to 55 that counts!
Vehemence is no guarantee of truth. --Isaac Asimov.
`[0;33mGeneric Brown Label Tagline`[0m
"How can I ever thank you enough?"  "Well, you can't."
"Is there a John there?" "No." "What do you do, pee out the window?"
"Nobody goes there anymore it's too crowded."  Y. Berra
"State Of The Art" is technospeak for "unproven".
$#&$#%*((&)(^$$#%^$.....  ohhh sorry - no speaka de ASCII !
$1,000,000 Guaranteed! Call this number now! 1-800-572-
2 B or not 2 B, that is the pencil....
2 rules for success: #1 Don't tell everything you know.
2B or not 2B = FF
7.2 on the Sphincter Scale
A big enough hammer fixes anything
A cheap shot is a terrible thing to waste.
A circle is a line that meets it's other end without ending.
A concrete example is very hard to carry around.
A geological specimen in motion accumulates no deposits of lichen.
A gleekzorp without a tornpee is like a quop without a fertsneet.
A little bit of uh huh and a whole lot of oh yeah.
A mafia hitman was taking a poor guy for a ride: a slay ride.
A man is never drunk if he can lie on the floor without holding on.
A nuclear war can ruin your whole day...
A pessimist complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.
A rose is not a rose when it's a brick.
Abandon all hope, ye who press [{��] here...
Above all else -- sky.
Absolutely not                         Maybe
Admit it-- you expected to see a copyright notice here.
Air is water with holes in it.
Alarm clock:  A device that scares the daylight into you
Alice! Go put more ice on the fire!
All answers questioned here.
All for one and one for ONE!
All good things must come to an e
All rules have exceptions - except the ones that don't.
All stressed out, and no-one to choke!
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
All the easy problems have been solved.
All things are possible except skiing thru a revolving door.
All things come to those who PUMMEL, BEAT, KICK & DEMAND!
Although he isn't as good as he was two years ago, now he's even better!
Ambition a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
An equal opportunity flamethrower.
And introducing Anatomically Correct LOG!
And now a word from the NULL device...
And now, a subliminal report...................Thank you!
and they went to sea in a Sieve.
And, they taste like the toilet seats too!
Another smooth escape disguised as a dramatic exit.
ANSI is banned at San Quentin; too many escape sequences!
Anti Silly Quoting Macros Environmentalist
Anyone can hate. it costs to love.
Anyone can walk on water, just know where the rocks are.
Anyone not wearing 2,000,000 sunblock is gonna have a REAL BAD DAY.
Anything goes (well, sorta).
Arguments with furniture are rarely productive.
Arsonists of the world, ignite!
As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
Asbestos water wings
Assertive: pushy with a mean streak.
Atoms of the World, UNITE (whoops, too late)
Attitude adjustments $29.95. Alignment extra.
Avoid temptation....unless you can't resist.....
Avoid tunnel vision: Wear blindfold in tunnel
Banging head against wall mode - off.
Be consistent - but don't do it all the time.
Be kind to animals - hug Monika
Binary Choir = 1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1.
Blackouts are Not unscheduled midweek vacations.
Blaming others can become a satisfying way of life.
Boldly backing away from where no man has gone before.
Breaking glass does not make an emergency any less severe
BTW: I'll take 1 dumb look please with a side order of silly expressions. :)
BUFFERS=7 FILES=5, 2nd Down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
Bullets speak louder than reason.
But Daddy, you watched the news on television YESTERDAY.
But Officer the Tree didn't give way to the Right..
But officer, I was only going 10 MIPS!
But then again, I like cold toilet seats.
But you can sure get nothing for something!
But, Your Honor, the light had dopplered to green.
Buy one, get one FREE!  Does it have to be in that order?
Call 911. $3.00 first minute, $1.00 each additional minute.
Call Barf Construction, and we'll throw it up!
Calling for complex blends of reverse psychology and extreme violence.
Can O' Worms. Open, Heat, & Eat. Ready in 15 mins.
Can we get loss of liability insurance insurance?
Can you swim in melted dry ice without getting wet?
Capital Punishment means never having to say "you again?"
Cause of crash: Inadvertent contact with the ground.
Caution: naughty bits follow... 101001100011101
Celebrate Earth Day <ad pd. for by Exxon>
Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
Classified ad: "Roommate needed. Man or woman preferred."
Click mousie...Drag mousie...KILL! KILL! KILL! Muwwahahahah!
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right...
Coarse and violent nudity.  Occasional language.
Come closer... a little closer... ulp! Go away!
Come if you can't, but if you can, please stay home.
Committees keep minutes and lose hours.
Complex problems have simple, wrong answers.
Complexity isn't the answer-it's the problem!
Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
CONFLICT: Answering the mail..vs.. Doing the housework
Constant change is here to stay.
Couldn't myself have better it said.
Courteous And Efficient Self-Service.
Cover me.  I'm going to change lanes.
Cream rises to the top......but then, so does scum...
Creating taglines is an artform... stealing them is an obsession!
CRIME CONTROL: Fire a warning shot into his HEART!
Cruisin' @ 899,942,400,000 furlongs / fortnight
Cubic ball bearing
Dark is faster than light, otherwise you would see it.
Darn it, it's Rape, Loot, Pillage, THEN Burn!
Define Useless = Emitter Resistor in a Cathode Follower.
Definition of Cute: Ugly but interesting.
Democracy: 3 wolves & a sheep voting on what's for lunch.
Desecrate, decimate, rah. rah. rah.
Dictator - a potato with a penis.
Did I say your money OR life?  I meant to say AND!
Din't mean to?! You put your sword right thru his head!
Direct from the Ministry of Silly Walks
Direct from the Ministry of Willie Wanka
DIRECTIONS: For External Use Only...no inside jobs!
Disclaimer: All opinions are not really opinions.
Disclose classified information only when a NEED TO KNOW exists.
Do A Technicolor Yawn
Do not believe in miracles �� rely on them.
Do not disturb!  Had enough trouble getting turbed in the first place.
Do not drop??? Ooopps!
Do not install prior to installation.
Do not store at temperatures above 120 degrees.
Do not write in this space!  For office use only!
Do steam rollers really roll steam?
Do unto others before they do unto you
Do unto others, then split.
Don't be a schmuck... BE A SCHMUCK!
Don't be afraid of flying.  Be afraid of crashing.
Don't byte off more than you can multiplex.
Don't crush that dwarf -- hand me the pliers.
Don't do what I SAY, do what I mean!
Don't drive too close or I'll flick a booger on you.
Don't ever stand up to be counted or someone will take your seat.
Don't feed the hand that bites you.
Don't force it, use a BIGGER hammer!
Don't just do something, stand there.
Don't just lurk there -- say something!
Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
Don't open the darkroom door; it lets all the dark out.
Don't panic!!! It's supposed to do that... I hope
Don't question authority..... It hasn't got a clue!!!!!
Don't try to saw sawdust.
Don't wait for your ship to come in, swim out to it.
Don't worry, be happ...aw, who gives a darn.
Don't you hate it when your boogers freeze?
Drip....Drip....Drip!
Drive defensively.  Buy a tank.
Drive Offensively! - American AutoDuel Association
Earthquakes are Earth's way of saying, WAKE UP !!!!!!!!!!
Electric chairs are period furniture: they end a sentence
Electronic Latrine, or Philosophic Melting-Pot?
Eliminate all ethics from your diet.
Elliptic paraboloids for sale.
Emergency repair procedure #1: Kick it.
End of Message - Stop reading.
Enee, Menee, Minee, HEY MO!!!
Ever just seem to not be able to get around to procrastinating?
Everything in our favour was aginst us.
Everything is relative, including this
Everything's back to normal. Damn.
Evil has been dealt a serious blow, but will return.
Exotic, erotic and just a wee bit psychotic.
Experiments should be reproducable, they should all fail in the same way.
Exxon - greasing the coastline for smoother boating!
Failure(n.): Opportunity to try again, more intelligently.
Females have PMS, I have SRH, Sperm Retention Headaches
Fight Global Cooling, burn petrochemicals TODAY!
FIRE FIRE FIRE... No, that's not right.. RAPE RAPE RAPE
FIRE!! BANG!! OOUUUCH!!!!! Whoops!  "Is anyone down range?"
Fire, Ready, Aim!
FIRMWARE: Hardware that is starting to melt.
First we're going to cut it off, then we're going to kill it.
Flammable fire extinguisher
Flying is the art of throwing yourself at the ground... and missing!
Follow the yellow rubber line ...
For discussion only. Not to be relied upon.
For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.
For people who like peace and quiet? A phoneless cord!
For sale, one satellite. As is, where is, you collect it.
For sale, Toilet-seat cover.  Barely used.
For sale: 1/2 piece of mountain climbing rope - cheap.
For Sale: Dehydrated H�O - $14 per quart
For Sale: dining table with two legs and six toes.
For the last time - stop it! - I knew you'd weaken!
Forgive your enemies, when they're lying cold and dead at your feet!
Fortune vomits on my eiderdown yet again.
Friendly fire - ISN'T !
From the same fine folks who brought you the Vietnam War.
Garcon! Take this grenade to the chef- very quickly, please.
Gee... What's that ticking in the corner.
Genius starts at the top and works up.
Gimme, a match, I think my gas tank is empty.
Go a head make my night.
God shave the Queen!
Gone crazy; be back later; leave message.
Good day for flying but bad day for landings....
Good day to avoid cops..crawl to work.
Gosh, I didn't know TEFLON could melt !!
Graduate of the Darth Vader School of Personnel Management.
Graduate of the Mad Max School of Defensive Driving
Gravity doesn't exist: the earth sucks.
Great day for putting slinkies on an escalator.
Great! Now if we can just keep it from exploding!
Greed is envy with its sleeves rolled up.
Guts:  putting the name "SYSOP" in your twit filter
Hairy fishnuts, anyone?
Hand me that solar-powered flashlight...
Hands up!  Said the laser printer.
Hang on, I'm feeding the laundry.
HANGING - An early Western form of bungee jumping.
Happiness is the Moderator's face on a milk carton!
Harder than standing in a hammock.
Have an adequate day.
Have you actually tasted an airline toilet seat?
He has a phenomenal grasp of the obvious.
He who fishes in other man's well, often catches crabs.
He who turns and runs away gets shot in the back.
He's a scrotum... halfway between a prick and an asshole.
Headline:  "No Cause Of Death Determined For Beheading Victim."
Hello and welcome to Personality Disorder Theatre.
Hello good evening and welcome, to BLACKMAIL!
Help! Help! I'm being repress... OUCH... HEY...STOP!
Her kiss was warm and soft as vomit on a summer sidewalk.
Here Fido, Fetch. Get the stick Fido. Stick, Dumb Dog.
Hey, someone peed in my gene pool!
Hey.. wait.. what are you doing..  Hey!  Put that down!   Aaaahhhh!
Hit and run means never having to say you're sorry.
Hit any user to continue.
Hmmmmm.... never tried an atomic bomb before.
Honey, the good news is...the air bag works!
Honk if you love obscene gestures.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Hot water heaters?    Hot water needs heating?
How do you straighten a bent pipe? Bend it!
How many bits could a bitblit blit if a bitblit could blit bits?
Humans residing within silicon dioxide should not project geological specimens
Hydrogen bombs are great party gags.�
I assume I'll live forever - if I die, don't tell me.
I bought some batteries today, but they weren't included.
I built my own 386!  See where I nailed it together?
I can name all ten of the Seven Dwarves!
I can't reply, I didn't ply in the first place.
I cheated on my metaphysics exam. I looked into the soul next to me.
I couldn't repair your brakes so I made your horn louder.
I doubleclicked on help, pointed at my wife, and the system crashed.
I find push buttons very depressing......
I have an exceptionally high Q.I.
I have seen the evidence.  I want DIFFERENT evidence!
I joined a bridge club. My jump is scheduled for Monday!
I just had a mental breakdown... Got any jumper cables?
I know the combination to your locked baud rate..
I like Boolean logic. NOT!
I like to leave messages *before* the beep.
I like to skate on the other side of the ice.
I Made A Mental Note, But Forgot Where I Put It ...
I need a Phillips Screwdriver. All of mine are Stanley.
I PROMISE - I won't upload in your mouth!
I saw a lot of trees today; and they were made of wood.
I saw it on the radio.
I sentence you to hang by the neck until you cheer up.
I set off every stud sensor in the hardware store.
I stepped on a Tetanus needle today..... now what?
I suffer from C R S ... Can't remember sh-t
I thank my lucky stars I'm not superstitious.
I think I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
I thought about being born again, but my mother refused.
I threw caution to the wind. It threw it back. I ducked.
I tried an internal modem, but it hurt when I walk.
I tripped in a hole that was sticking up outa the ground.
I tryed to draw a picture of my shadow but it kept moving
I want my bedroom painted sky-blue pink.
I will be a single parent in a couple of minutes... BLAMM, BLAMM!
I will defend to your death my right to my opinion.
I wish this mirror had a better view...
I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
I'd love to, but I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it.
I'll see your pout and raise you a snit.
I'm environmentally friendly, I use a roll-on fly spray
I'm fixin a hole where the rain gets out.
I'm FLYING I'm FLYING! >>THUD<<
I'm from the IRS, and I'm here to help you.
I'm getting a brand new hangover for my birthday
If at first we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
If at first you don't succeed; Blame everyone else.
If E=MC�, how many watts do my speakers take?
If ET married Peter Cetera, would he then be  ET Cetera ?
If I only had one more teragigadactylbyte..
If I shot myself, my ex would sue me for the bullet
If in danger or in doubt,run in circles, scream & shout
If Iraq invaded Turkey from the rear would Greece help?
If it ain't broke . . . fix it 'til it is! �
If it ain't broke then break it.
If it breaks make it bigger, if it sticks out chrome it.
If It doesn't matter, and what if it did?
If it's not violent.. WHAT FUN IS IT?
If it's working PLEASE ...Don't make Love to it!!!
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
If you can't enjoy yourself, enjoy somebody else.
If you can't win fair, win foul.
If you cut here, you'll ruin your monitor.
IF YOU DON'T DRIVE...DRINK.
If you get to the end, who cares about the means?
If you push something hard enough, it will fall over.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
Immoral Majority Charter Member.
Improve mail delivery... mail the posties their pay!!
In an nuclear war, all men will be cremated equal
In case of emergency, break glass.  Scream.  Bleed to death.
In what state were you born?                                     Nude.
Inside every fat person is a thin person. The fat one ate him.
Instant swimmer.  Just add water.
Iraq shot down 38 Patriot Missiles with their SCUDS.
Is it ok to use my AM radio after NOON?
Is it possible to feel gruntled.
It depends on which end he tries to light...
It is always darkest just before you turn on the lights
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all.
It is double pleasure to deceive the deceiver.
It is not enough to succeed.  Others must fail.
It was like the time I stapled balogna to my face...
It was Wine,Women & Song. Now it's Beer, The Old Lady & TV.
It's a coffee maker that fits in a 1/2 height drive bay!
It's a pretty short runway, but it's reeeeaaaaaal wide.
It's about BUTT; Kick it or lick it!
iT's HarD tO tYPe WHilE cHoKinG a cAT!
It's like Deja Vu all over again...
It's not lost, I'm just unsure of it's position
It's true, forgiveness IS easier to get than permission
Jet engine theory:  suck, squeeze, bang, blow!
Just give me what the Dr.ordered..OHHOOO Dr Pepper..
KA-BLAMM!! Whatever that was, I hope its on our side
Kilroy occupied these coordinates.
Kind of drive? Either a hook or a slice.
Kissy kissy huggy smoochy BLECCCCH !
Kneel. Your are in the presence of Greatness.
LAPD Motto:Treat you like a 'KING' - Rodney King
Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe !
last_laugh = gloat();
Left lane must turn right.
Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it.
Let's run it up the flagpole and see if anybody salutes it!
Let's split up.  We can do more damage that way.
Likes and dislikes are among my favourites
Liquid Paper is the best, it smells better than all the retht...
LISP:  To call a spade a thpade.
Listen! Do you smell something?#1 in the don't bother catagory.
Losing Lottery tickets sold here.
Love my 386/33 . . . Thank God my wife isn't that fast!
Maintainer's Motto: If we can't fix it, it ain't broke.
Make friends with airport security: Yell BMOB backwards.
Make like a shepard and get the flock out of here.
Mastermind specialist subject - the bleedin' obvious..
May your pinfalls be many and your screwjobs few.
Measure with micrometer, mark with chalk, cut with axe
Member: L.C.W.T. (Louisiana Crawfish Wrestling Team).
Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
Microwave fireplace... Spend a whole evening in front of the fire in 5 mins.
Mistress - something between a mister and a mattress.
Moderation in all things should be practiced sparingly.
More fun than a tube of crazy glue and an imagination.
Multitask: Choke on gum and trip simultaniously!
My computer at work has a Pentium. Look for the glow in the horizon...
My current power amp produces no power or current.
My taglines are originals, it's just that they originate elsewhere.
Never shove your granny while she's shaving.
Never wear spam shorts while hanging from your toes on a Thursday.
New bus for poor & elderly : get on poor, get off elderly.
New members urgently required for Suicide Club.
NEW!! IMPROVED!!! E=MC^3 !!!
No - I have not grown roots into this chair!
No good deed goes unpunished.
No lady, I said you've got great set of BITS.
No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away
No sense being pessimistic.  It wouldn't work anyway.
No. Why, have YOU ever snorted laser toner?
Nope! No Liquid Paper(tm) on MY scre�n
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be!
Not breaking the rules, just testing the elasticity.
Nothing like a soak in the Hot Tub under The Midnight Sun...
Notice: All incoming fire has the right of way.
Now where did I put that fire extinguisher?
Nuke 'em til they glow then shoot 'em in the dark!
Nuke it till' it glows.
Nurse, bring me that really large anestheic mallet.
Of all thirty-six alternatives, running away is best.
Of course it's safe.  Go on in, I'll be right behind you.
Offer expires February 31 or while supplies last.
Oh please, don't do that ... Oh please, don't ... Oh please ... Oh...
Oh, no!  Not another learning experience.
Okthat'sit,whotookmyspacebar?
One good turn gets all the blankets!
One nation, under God, with Liberty, large fries, and a Coke to go.
Opportunity knocks but once, GRAB that sucker
Other than that, Mrs. Kennedy, how was the parade?
Ouch!  Stop that!  I didn't say PLUCK me!
out numbered 20,000 to 2...... and we killed them both.
Paranoia is heightened awareness!!
Pardon my driving; I'm trying to reload.
Pieces of eight, pieces of nine...Awk parrotty error!
Pillow talk!? *I'd* make sure mine was DEAD before *I* slept on it!
Pinocchio:  Love is a many splintered thing.
Pistols at Dawn!  Dawn, what's she got to do with it?
Please check your firearm at the door.
Polish invention : Airplanes that don't fly so they don't crash.
Polish invention : Braces for false teeth.
Polish invention : Fire alarm that doesn't ring when you sleep.
Powdered water -- just add ... hmmm ...
Power corrupts.  Absolute power is kind of neat.
Pray!  We'll need it to avoid KILLING these idiots ...
Pre-scented buckets are provided for your vomiting pleasure.
Press any key to continue, or any other key to quit.
Press SPACEBAR once to quit or twice to save changes.
Press the <STOP> key now...
Press to "TEST", [click],  Release to "DETONATE".
Press [ESC] to detonate or any other key to explode .
Problem with kissing ass is that you get a face full of shit !
Push any key. Then push the any other key.
Quick! hand me that solar-powered flashlight.
Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
Quick.  Operator.  Give me the number for 911.
Reach out & touch someone....OUCH!!!!!
Read enclosed instructions carefully before opening.
Really get stoned, drink wet cement.
Recursive, adj.; see Recursive
Red ship crashes into blue ship - sailors marooned...
Relaxation?? Is that when you take a laxitive over again??
Remember when Michael Jackson used to grab his own crotch?
Resistance Is Useless!   (If < 1 ohm)
Resistance is useless,  if you have no volts or amps.
Retreat hell! We're just fighting in another direction.
Right To Life Virus: Won't allow you to delete a file...
Romper Room magic mirror, I can see Mart-#CRACK#
Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but not this.
Running water is fine, but not running through the roof.
Runs, ducks and weaves, cackling hysterically into the night
Russian Express Card motto: Don't leave home!
Sale: parachute, used once, never opened, small stain.
Save water. Don't flush the toilet.
Say "No," then negotiate.
Say it with flowers - Send a Triffid.
Screams?  WHAT screams?  Oh, those?  Ignore them....
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
Seen on a hacker's tombstone:  CONNECT 1964 - NO CARRIER 1994
Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
Shake well before and after use.
Shareware, crippleware, annoyware, underwear.
Sharp as the leading edge of a basketball.
Situation normal. Panic accordingly.
Six megs, two monitors, and an attitude
Sleep warm, love well and carry a big stick.
SLIDING DOWN THE RAZOR BLADES OF LIFE.
Sloppy and proud of it.
So it goes so it goes so it goes so it goes s
So tell me, did a moose ever bite yer sister?
Something under the bed is drooling...
Something will have to be done, something irresponsible.
Something would have to be done... something irresponsible...
Sounds like good training for the Scottsmen Suicide Squad.
Speak softly and carry a two-handed sword.
Sponsors of the Olympic Drowning Team.
                   Sysops like to watch
                 <<<<< Thanks, Sysops >>>>>
- Chat Mode - SYSOP Here,  You have 30 seconds!
4 of 5 Sysops prefer doughnuts.  The 5th demands pizza.
A fool and his money are sysop material.
A sysop's favorite educational show - "Connections."
Admit nothing, deny everything, blame the Sysop.
All sysops are not user friendly!
Anencephallic user detected.  Convert to sysop? <Y>es <N>o
As Sysop, I *CAN* say, "Computer, end program."
Bad or missing Sysop, free files in all areas.
BBS = Busted, Broke, SysOp (Now You Know!)
Become a sysop and never see the world!
Bitten by a mutant computer bug, he turned into _SYSOP_!
Blondes AND women AND nurses can be sysops, too!
Can you teach an old SysOp new tricks?
Does a sysop have to call himself to read his mail?
Drop your carrier or the sysop gets it!
DURACELL.BAT arced.  SysOp is shocked!
Ever meet a Sysop who would admit the problem was his?
FATAL ERROR #1070:  Sysop late for work.
FATAL ERROR #1071:  SYSOP BANKRUPT
From the Sysop's dirty mind... err, desk.
Guts:  putting "SYSOP" in your twit filter.
Hard Drive Crash... Sysop Strikes a Directory Tree.
Heard that the sysop likes to watch porno@#$&&@#$  NO CARRIER
Hug your sysop daily, send him candy on his birthday.
I am SysOp, hear me roar, with modems too fast to ignore.
I shot the SYSOP, but I should have shot the moderator
I was arbitrarily and capriciously locked out by the sysop!
I'm a figment of my sysop's imagination (and pocketbook)!
If money talks, Being a SysOp is pretty quiet.
If Sysop doesn't answer first page, use ALT-H for a second attempt.
It's inherited.  My son-in-law was a SysOP, too.
Mail found:  praise sysop!
Mama's don't let your babies grow up to be Sysop's
My epitaph:  Sysop not buried here.  Leave feedback instead?
MY Sysop lets me say things like ��� C E N S O R E D ���
NO New Mail.  Leave threatening message for SysOp? (Y/n)
None of you exists, my sysop types all this in!
OFF-line mail makes sysops happy.
Okay Sysops - Next week, we'll learn how to play the kazoo...
Page your sysop at 3:00am and learn new words.
Pirated tagline.  Contact the author, then the cops and sysop.
Please report all lost or stolen taglines to your Sysop.
PLEASE STAND-BY:  SYSOP HAS TEMPORARILY EXITED TO DOS... (TAKING A LEAK)
Policy does not imply that sanity is a Sysop requirement.
REAL Sysops disconnect the Speaker!
Remember - you don't have to be smart to be a SysOp.
Remember to thank your SYSOP on occasion!
Remember:  Somewhere, somehow - a Sysop is watching you.
Replace your sex drive with a disk drive: become a sysop!
Run Time Error 485728403 ...SysOp Obviously Crazy.
SASS - Sysops Against Stupid Signatures.
Support your sysop... Send your paycheck.
SWF, blonde bombshell, seeks man now.  NO SYSOPS!
Sysop Justification No.1:  Because I'm the Sysop; that's why!
SysOp not available.  This is an OFF-LINE mail reader, dummy.
Sysop requesting chat.  Press Alt-H for chat mode.
SYSOP stands for Sent Your Spouse Obscene Pictures
Sysop trying to page you, go to Main Menu & press <G>!
Sysop!  Your BBS gave me a "Printer out of paper" error!
SysOp:  (n) One who constantly reconfigures.
Sysoping makes you fat.
Sysoping:  More fun than being beaten with a sledgehammer.
Sysops are guilty of baudy behavior.
Take a Sysop to lunch, he's probably broke.
Temporary sysop access granted!
Thank God for SysOps!  But why do they DO IT?
The sound of a SysOp reading mail:   <cr><cr><cr><cr><cr>
The Sysop has granted you unlimited download privleeches.
The Sysop of MY board is better than yours!
This communication link monitored by your Sysop.
We'll have fun fun fun till the sysop takes the Echo away...
Your sister dates a sysop!  Nyaah-nyaah.
"...Another bad guy with his hair pulled into a ponytail."
"A whole boiled egg! Two years of night school finally paid off."
"Ack! Phfft! Thptpth!" -Bill
"Are there any side effects to these pills apart from bankruptcy?"
"Are they playing overtime? You must be absolutely exhausted."
"As soon as we got married I realized 2 can live as cheaply as 6."
"Aw, Mom, you act like I'm not even wearing a bungee cord!" -Calvin
"Awright, hold it...where's the mutant repellant?" -Steve
"Backups are for wussies!" -Oliver Wendell Jones
"Bad news, Mom. I sold my soul to the devil." -Calvin
"Boy! I feel like the Democratic Party!" -Opus
"By the time we saved enough for a honeymoon, we didn't want one."
"Calvin? Who's Calvin? I'm *Stupendous Man*!" -Calvin
"Can I kiss one of the bridesmaids instead?"
"Can I take an axe to school tomorrow for, um, Show and Tell?" -Calvin
"Can the police give you a speeding ticket in a car wash?"
"Careful, we don't want to learn from this." -Calvin
"Come along, my little booboochitos." -Opus
"Dabbling in a bit of ironic foreshadowing, are we?" -Milo
"Dad, I need a note for school tomorrow...preferably a $10 bill."
"Days like this don't let you savour a bad mood." -Calvin
"Do I look stupid? Of course you can marry my daughter."
"Do you recognize this pan as the one your wife used?"
"Don't blame the cat. What would you do if someone sat on you?"
"Don't keep saying 'I do'! You're the best man."
"Don't tell me what it is until I've eaten it."
"Don't we even get a few practice semesters?" -Calvin
"Either you buy me a bike or I'll get myself adopted."
"Four blocks north. If it's not there, eight blocks south."
"Girls are so weird." -Calvin
"Give the ticket to my husband. He taught me to drive."
"Go ahead! I'll only bleed all over your new rug."
"Have you got a smoke alarm I can switch off while I'm cooking?"
"He can't come to the phone. He's busy watching television."
"Here we go! Step one: Take off your shirt."
"Here's my bill. That should stop you from smoking for a few months."
"Hey Dad, remember our car?" -Calvin
"How do you expect me to average 55 miles an hour if I don't speed?"
"How far can I send this cat for $30?"
"How's he feeling? I badly need a pair of kidneys."
"I am the cat that somebody let out of the bag!" -Darkwing Duck
"I am the itch you cannot reach!" -Darkwing Duck
"I am the weed-whacker in the garden of evil!" -Darkwing Duck
"I am the weirdo who sits next to you on the bus!" -Darkwing Duck
"I am the wrong number that wakes you at 3:00am!" -Darkwing Duck
"I can't bring the car back until low tide."
"I can't eat fast food so I eat turtles."
"I can't understand it! He just burst in and shot my violin."
"I decided to take a personal interest in your career. You're fired."
"I don't want a son-in-law who's stupid enough to marry my daughter."
"I got 6 percent in math. Is that good or bad?"
"I got the car in the garage, but I had to go through the kitchen."
"I guess that got pretty pathetic." -Calvin
"I know the runny green stuff's potato. What's the black gravel?"
"I need a pair of dancing shoes with steel-toe caps."
"I need solid professional help...Donahue, Oprah, Geraldo..." -Opus
"I see that I've brushed my teeth with 'Preparation H'." -Opus
"I taught him everything I know and he's still stupid."
"I used to have a dog, but he wouldn't eat my wife's leftovers."
"I usually leave an extra $10 in my pocket for her birthday."
"I was practicing my karate and she hit me with half a brick."
"I'd let you talk more, but you're not as interesting as me."
"I'll serve your dinner as soon as the smoke clears."
"I'm getting indigestion just looking at this."
"I'm giving him 15 more minutes to remember it's my birthday."
"I'm going on vacation tomorrow, so I'm giving you 14 newspapers."
"I'm not break-dancing! I hit my hand!"
"I'm not late. I was giving you a little 'wait training'."
"I'm off to meet my doom, Mom. See you after school." -Calvin
"I'm so bad I get a government grant not to paint anything."
"I'm the dishwasher out back. Hide my tip in the gravy."
"I've changed my mind Hobbes. People ARE scum." - Calvin.
"I've got to avoid stress" "Don't look in the mirror".
"I've studied your case and I think your best bet is a tunnel."
"If I could reach you, I would hurt you, Pinky" -- The Brain
"If I didn't love I wouldn't this, would I?"
"If I give myself up, do I get the reward?"
"If the house was on fire, who would you save first, me or the cat?"
"If you can spare five seconds, I'd like to do a brain scan."
"If you find a pork chop in your soup, it belongs to table nine."
"If you get straight A's at school I'll buy you a machine gun."
"If you have to sneeze, do it during the lunchbreak."
"If you order the chili, I need to know your next of kin."
"If you want instant coffee, you'll have to wait!"
"If you want to see something 'real cheap', take a look in the mirror."
"Is he allowed a plea of insanity for a parking ticket?"
"Is it OK if I eat while you're smoking?"
"Is that your idea of excercise - buying a book on jogging?"
"Is there such a thing as a bathroom scale with shock absorbers?"
"It comes with three vegetables: two peas and a carrot."
"It's not my fault you're stupid."
"It's not that I *mind* being chained in the basement..." -Calvin
"Let's see them figure THAT one out!" -Hobbes
"Life just dished up some spam." -Opus
"Look! Velveeta sticks to the ceiling!" -Opus
"Luckily, our honeymoon suite had a TV in the bedroom."
"Marriage is give and take. I eat your cooking so you do the dishes."
"Maurice, love is not blind enough to allow me to ignore that tie."
"Members of the jury, have you reached the verdict on this crook?"
"Members of the jury, I must ask you to disregard my last remark."
"Mr. Sinatra, hold. Mr. Redford, hold. Me." - Dot
"My dog loves people. But mostly he gets canned dog food."
"My personal computer just told me to mind my own business."
"My wife's the opposite of 'anorexic'."
"Now give me *another* five cents and let's see what I have!" -Calvin
"Now, where were we..? Ah, yes--ABJECT HUMILIATION!" -Jafar
"Of course it's half eaten. You said you wanted the chef's salad."
"Oh, great! I give you $50 for your birthday and you spend $5000."
"Oh, we have a WONDERFUL anxiety of yours tonight, Binkley!"
"OK! I'll make the coffee. Where d'you get the water from?"
"Our brochure says 'safe beach'. You must have gone into the water."
"Our marriage was built on mutual trust and a lot of acting ability."
"Please tell me I'm adopted." -Calvin
"Pop, the cat's gone bald." "Good, so has your mother." -Milo & Dad
"Right now we're doing something called 'civil disobedience.'" -Steve
"Shakespeare, did your father help you with this homework?"
"She tries to watch what she eats but her eyes aren't quick enough."
"She's been trying to lower inflation with my credit card."
"Shut up, Wilbur, and load the Photon torpedoes."
"Slow down at the next red light. I wanna jump out!"
"Some of us live in perpetual 20-20 chaos." -Opus
"Someone broke in while we were asleep. They left $10."
"Someone put Cheez Whiz in my shorts." -Opus
"Sorry about the two scars. We had your X-ray upside down."
"Sorry I left during your sermon. I was sleepwalking."
"Sorry, pal, you can't come in here with a tie."
"Take that back! It tastes like the stuff my wife makes."
"Take your time. The plane doesn't leave for 3 minutes."
"Taxi! How much to the airport if I drive?"
"THANK YOU FOR NOT SMOKING! Hahahaha!" -Opus
"That was either Superman or dad falling off the roof."
"That's nice. You show up and all the gorillas run inside."
"The house next door is on fire. D'you wanna watch?"
"The kitchen's on fire again."
"The little gray bits are non-stick frying pan."
"The police towed away the car, so I bought another one."
"The recipe says a pinch of spice. I thought it said a 'pound'."
"The X-Men didn't come here to perpetuate the slaughter..."
"There! Now we're both transmogrified! We're even!" -Calvin
"There's a 200-foor monster and he tells her to bolt the door."
"THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS WALRUS WAFERS!!" "Well, there SHOULD be!"
"There's nothing on TV. D'you want to have an argument?"
"They're gonna use your X-rays in a textbook!"
"To the inattentive and brainless layman, yes." -Calvin
"Today's special is all the caviar you can eat for $600."
"TRE-MEN-DOUS COSMIC POWER!!!...itsy-bitsy living space!" -The Genie
"Twenty-eight percent of the rain forest is now furniture."
"Two months to select my jury and they found me guilty in 17 seconds."
"We have two sorts of pies: undercooked and overcooked."
"We went to Greece for a 2nd honeymoon. Six days and seven fights."
"We'll have to dinner out. The toaster's broken."
"We're not doing 3500 miles an hour. That's the tachometer."
"We've got to leave in four hours. Here's your lipstick."
"Whaddyer mean, 'I burnt the oatmeal'?... That's coffee!"
"What do you mean 'Where's the car'? This *is* the car."
"What do you mean he'll need a tie to come in? This is my wife!"
"What does 86 years come out with time off for good behavior?"
"What I wouldn't give to be a Latchkey kid..." -Calvin
"What's a good wine to take away the taste of this food?"
"What's the big idea sticking stop sign on the back wall of garage?"
"Whatever you do, don't exercise."
"When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the PATOOKAS!"
"Where's that damn dragon?" -Kitty Pryde
"Why does everybody say my name like it means `Shut-Up'?"
"Will you keep the noise down! We're trying to have a party next door!"
"With 85 previous acquittals, my client has a faultless record."
"Wouldn't last five minutes in Tokyo during the monster season."-Yukio
"You can stop waving goodbye. I'm staying."
"You can't be half-and-half. You're either guilty or not guilty."
"You don't need your teeth. It's soup."
"You mean Blonde Jovi here used to be an X-Man?"
"You say you were inside robbing bank and someone stole your car?"
"You'n'me, proffesor--we're two of a kind--handsome, dynamic--bald."
"You're a lot uglier than your pictures."
"You're underestimating my comeback potential!" - Dazzler
"You, sir, are an ambisexual walnut." -TV from `Bloom County'
"Your birthday's next week. D'you want a surprise party?"
"Your book ate your homework, hmm? That's a new one." -Mrs. Wormwood
"Your doctor wants to marry me if you don't make it."
<BOOM!> "Trouble!" "How perceptive, Betsy. We noticed!"
Balanced diet: four pounds of chocolate with four pounds of cake.
If you can read this you're standing to close.
LAST GAS FOR 60 MILES (54 miles ahead)
We're holding Elvis' brain hostage on planet Zork. Alert Ted Koppel.
X-Men criteria: Whine a lot and come back from the dead.
Useless Invention: A freezer for Eskimos.
Useless Invention: AC adapter for solar calculators.
Useless Invention: Air-Bag Motorcycle jacket.
Useless Invention: Anklet wristwatches for contortionists.
Useless Invention: Avalanche prevention goggles.
Useless Invention: Battery powered battery charger.
Useless Invention: Battery-operated nuclear power plants.
Useless Invention: Blinker Fluid.
Useless Invention: Braille Drivers' Manual
Useless Invention: Braille toilet paper.
Useless Invention: Braille tv guide.
Useless Invention: Braille tv remote control.
Useless Invention: Brake oil.
Useless Invention: Breathable space suit.
Useless Invention: Brown undershorts.
Useless Invention: Cabin pressurization system for the Cessna 150.
Useless Invention: Caffeine-free Diet Coke.
Useless Invention: Camcorder with braile-encoded buttons.
Useless Invention: Candy bars with stannous fluoride added.
Useless Invention: Car steering triangles -- doubles as anti-theft device.
Useless Invention: Cast iron wire.
Useless Invention: Cat flap for the fridge.
Useless Invention: Checkered paint.
Useless Invention: Combs for bald-heads.
Useless Invention: Condoms for misogynists.
Useless Invention: Cordless plumb line.
Useless Invention: Dehydrated water.
Useless Invention: Diet celery.
Useless Invention: Digital clock-winder.
Useless Invention: Digital computer.
Useless Invention: Double-sided playing cards.
Useless Invention: Downhill stairmaster.
Useless Invention: Ejector seats for helicopters.
Useless Invention: Electric banana straightener.
Useless Invention: Electric dog polisher.
Useless Invention: Extra-large bicycle clips, for cycling in shorts.
Useless Invention: Fat-free Twinkies.
Useless Invention: Felt Jumper cables.
Useless Invention: Fine glass-crystal castanets.
Useless Invention: Fireproof cigarettes.
Useless Invention: Fireproof kindling.
Useless Invention: Fireproof matches.
Useless Invention: Flame-retardant gasoline.
Useless Invention: Flashbulb tester.
Useless Invention: Flavoured suppositories.
Useless Invention: Foam rubber toothpicks.
Useless Invention: Freeze Dried Water.
Useless Invention: Frictionless Sandpaper.
Useless Invention: Fur sink.
Useless Invention: Hand-powered chainsaw.
Useless Invention: How-to cassettes for the deaf.
Useless Invention: Ice skate sandals, for use in hot climates.
Useless Invention: Inflatable anchor.
Useless Invention: Inflatable darts-board.
Useless Invention: Inflatable PC -- The Ultimate Laptop!
Useless Invention: Kickstand for a tank.
Useless Invention: Laundromat in a nudist colony.
Useless Invention: Leather cutlery.
Useless Invention: Lie detectors for politicians.
Useless Invention: Low salt brine.
Useless Invention: Low-calorie PowerBar.
Useless Invention: Luminous sun-dial, for use at night.
Useless Invention: Matte finish floor wax.
Useless Invention: Mesh raincoat.
Useless Invention: Micro-miniature personal vibrator.
Useless Invention: Money with negative face value.
Useless Invention: Motorcycle seat-belts.
Useless Invention: Muffler Bearings.
Useless Invention: Non-intrusive alarm clock (raises flag; no ringing)
Useless Invention: Non-stick Cellotape.
Useless Invention: Open Toed Safety Shoes.
Useless Invention: Papier mache step ladder.
Useless Invention: Parachute that opens automatically, upon impact.
Useless Invention: Particle board tent stakes.
Useless Invention: Reduced calorie water.
Useless Invention: Remote control for a computer.
Useless Invention: Remote control for a Watchman.
Useless Invention: Reversible garbage disposal.
Useless Invention: Rollerblade skates for peglegs.
Useless Invention: Rubber Kleenex.
Useless Invention: Screen door on a submarine.
Useless Invention: Second-hand fireworks.
Useless Invention: Self stick frying pan.
Useless Invention: Soap Dissolver.
Useless Invention: Solar powered flashlight.
Useless Invention: Solar powered night light.
Useless Invention: Solar-powered pacemakers for elderly sunbathers.
Useless Invention: Steel-belted radial rubber bands.
Useless Invention: Strap-on portable chairs.
Useless Invention: Sugar coated insulin.
Useless Invention: Sundial with glow in the dark markings.
Useless Invention: Tire chains for motorcycles.
Useless Invention: Trailer hitch for the Honda CVCC.
Useless Invention: Training wheels for timid sports car drivers.
Useless Invention: Umbrella with a skylight.
Useless Invention: Unsinkable submarine.
Useless Invention: Waterproof sponge.
Useless Invention: Waterproof teabags.
Useless Invention: Waterproof toilet paper.
                                     <-empty tagline
                                    <- Cloaked Tagline
                   <-Tagline with a cloaking device.
              $ x        $     r     $ g   ....
            -- NO SUITABLE TAGLINE FOUND --
         -- CLOSED FOR TAGLINE DEVELOPMENT --
         IN STEREO WHERE AVAILABLE
  >----  Stealth Tagline.
 (  �  ) Klingon tagline sighted, Sir.
 �CLEARED�    This tagline approved by Customs    �CLEARED�
!CAUTION! Taglines may be hazardous to your disk space!
!{] .,.+,+.,.+,.,+.,+.,,+.,..+..,,.Tagline Graves
!{] When the land cooled, there were many taglines
"                                 " <-- [cloaked tagline]
"       ."  -- MORN of Borg.
"....give me a second...I'm thinking!!!"
"...And it's 'WORF', not 'Woof'". * Worf
"42? 7 and a half million years and all you can come up with is 42?!"
"A 2x4, Sir?"
"Absence makes the nose grow longer." - The Doctor
"All we are saying,"    "Is give pizza chants."
"Alright, who is the wiseguy with the arrow?"--Custer
"And if there's one thing I know, it's that Quark is hard to ignore."
"Apple" (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton.
"Beam me aboard Scotty!" <-> "Will a 2 X 4 do Captain?"
"Besides, you look good in a dress." -Riker, to Worf
"Bother" said Capt. Pooh, as antimatter containment was lost.
"Bother" said Cmdr. Pooh, as Picard demoted him to Ensign.
"Bother" said Pooh, as the Facehugger impregnated him.
"Bother," said Pooh as Cthulhu rose up and ate him.
"Bother," said Pooh as he found out his symbiont hated "hunny."
"Bother," said Pooh as he reached for the reset button.
"Bother," said Pooh as his regeneration failed.
"Bother," said Pooh as his time ran out and he turned into a puddle.
"Bother," said Pooh, as he failed another melee combat roll.
"Bother," said Pooh-card, as all his fur fell out.
"Bother,"said Pooh as the Brigadier destroyed another alien race.
"Brave heart, Tegan...it's only a hairball!"
"Build a watch in 56,179 easy steps" by C. Forsberg.
"But Doctor, all these corridors look the same..."
"But, I DO know everything." - Q.
"C.I.A." -- A contradiction in terms most of the time.
"Cashew?"  "Gesundheit!"
"Cleanup crew to Ops. Bring a mop-- and a very large bucket." Sisko.
"Coffee, Jamaican blend, double-strong, double-sweet." --O'Brien.
"Come on, Doc.  Time to be a hero." -- Peri Brown AND Kira Nerys
"Come, Fenric.  Play the game of traps." -- The Doctor.
"Computer! Arch." --Moriarty.
"Computer, End program." - Barkley
"Could you continue your petty bickering? I find it most intriguing."
"Counselor, may I -uh- use yer combadge?"
"D-d-Doctor?" "You were expecting someone else?"--The SIXTH Dr.
"Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?"
"Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a tagline writer."
"Data threw up?"  "<nod> Something about a data overflow error..."
"Do, or do not.  There is no `try'." <YODA-Empire Strikes Back
"Dumber than advertised!" - Yakko Warner
"Dust bunnies threaten thousand points of light" -G. Bush
"Dyslexic Christian sells soul to Santa"  ...News at 11
"Ensign Pillsbury?  He's BREAD, Jim!"
"er... uh... um, Resistance is er, futile...um, er." Barclay of Borg
"Experience comes from bad judgment." - Mark Twain.
"Fascinating," said Spock, watching Kirk's lousy acting.
"Go 'head and steal my tagline it flatters me."
"Good Enough" is the death knell of progress.
"Grandma got run over by a dragon... running from a cave on Xmas Eve
"Graphic Artist seeks Boss with vision impairment."
"Happiness is a warm puppy." said the anaconda.
"He was a man, all and all, I shall not look upon his like again."
"He who hesitates is lunch !"
"Hello...Incontinence Hotline".  "Can you hold, please?"
"Hey, I didn't write this stuff!" --Bubsy
"Hi ho, Kermit the Doctor here..." the ultimate bad regeneration...
"Hit him again, I saw his foot move." -- L.A COP
"Hobbes did it, Mom!" - Calvin
"Honey?" is that what you call this bee barf?
"How can you be so deaf with those huge ears?"
"How to Boil Water, in 500 easy steps" by Chuck Forsberg.
"I died? Why don't I remember dying?" --The Doctor
"I do not fear computers, I fear the lack of them" - Asimov
"I don't have a problem with doctors, just YOU, Julian!" O'Brien
"I drank WHAT!?" - Socrates.
"I left My Head In San Francisco" --Data SINGS!
"I swear to God.  I thought turkeys could fly."  -Carlson
"I think I might regenerate," the Doctor said shiftily.
"I thought the Ferengi liked eating bugs." "Only certain bugs."
"I will... FEED him." --Worf.
"I wish I'd stolen that tagline."  "You will, you will!"
"I yam Popeye o'de Borg.  Preparez ta be askimiligrated."
"I'd prefer the non-smoking lifeboat, please."
"I'm from Iowa.  I only work in outer space." - Kirk
"I'm not asz think asz you drunk I am, Ossifer!"
"If he catches you, you're through" - Mr. R. Runner.
"If he catches you, you're through" - Road Runner.
"If my calculations are correct, and they always are..." The Doctor
"If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good." - B Gates
"Isn't everybody happy?" - Machiavelli
"It worked! Now if only I could remember what I did!" The Doctor
"It would take a mountain to crush an ego the size of his!"
"It" has fallen, and "it" won't get up.
"La Quinta" is Spanish for "Next to Denny's"
"Let me sweeten the deal a bit for you,"  - Beelzebub.
"Let Us Open Our Checkbooks and Pray..."
"Life," he said, "Don't talk to ME about life!".
"Mabee you should see a p-sychiatrist."--Wakko Warner
"Make love not war" people probably flunked both.
"Milhouse, we live in the age of cooties!"  - Bart Simpson
"MuNuQ!," said Pooh as his bat'leth broke in half.
"MuNuQ," said Pooh as he realized he couldn't speak Klingon.
"Muq," said Pooh as his ghak slithered off the table and out the door.
"My God," exclaimed the tagline, "I'm in the wrong joke!
"My name is Inigo Montoya.  You stole my tagline.  Prepare to die."
"Nietzsche is dead,"   God.
"No, I said Bud Light!" - Captain of the Hindenburg
"None of the Above" for President.
"Now I wish I hadn't written so many tank games." -- Flynn
"Nurse! I said: "SLIP off his SPECtacles!"
"Off with her head!" shouted the Queen.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he deleted his hard drive.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he read alt.fan.bill-gates.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he saw the mushroom cloud.
"Oh bother," said Pooh, as he started up Norton Utilities.
"Oh, and child, one last thing..." - Winn as Columbo
"Oh, bother," said Pooh as the writers killed off his character.
"Oh, darling, let's" (continued on next tagline)
"Ok, now for a quick backu   & #^1s "
"Once,"  adverb:  Enough.
"Ouch! Nasty! That could have been ME!"
"Press to test." <click>  "Release to detonate."
"Romulan warbird FASA firing, sir!" "Fire the CANON!"
"Scotty. hurry. beam me"  uragg^*    NO CARRIER.
"Scream. I'll save you later." Ace to The Doctor, "No Future."
"Sorry Rabbit, Phasers are for kids..."
"Suicide Hotline...please hold for the next available..."
"Take my Worf--please." -Data
"Tell him he is a good cat.  And a pretty cat." - Data
"That's entertainment," - Vlad the Impaler.
"The sentence is death.  Let the trial begin." --"Tribunal"
"There doesn't seem to be a Klingon word for jolly." -- Troi.
"There's ALWAYS room for Odo..."
"There's more than one way, to cook a cat." --6th Doctor.
"There's no intelligent life here Scotty -- Beam me up"
"This is down.  Down is good.  This is up.  Up is no." Data to Spot.
"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors taglines"
"Time & Tide Melts the Snowman." --The 7th Doctor.
"Time passed, which, basically, is its job."
"Tourist Season" : When it's OK to shoot them.
"Unstable? Unstable!!!??? UNSTABLE!!!!?????" - The 6th Doctor
"va" jatlh pu ghorDI' batlh'etlh'Daj
"Vamoose you little varmit!" - Data:"A Fistfull of Datas"
"Wagner's music is better than it sounds."
"Ward, I'm worried about the Beaver."
"Well? What do you think?" "Ick!"
"What a useless scroll. Just says, "HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR" Uh-oh...
"What happened?" "You WON." "They'll KILL me!" --Tribunal
"What is about L'waxana Troi that makes me melt." * Odo
"What is there one could loathe about me?" "Would you like a list?"
"What?!? This isn't the Files section?!?"
"Who cares for you? You're but a deck of cards," -Alice.
"Who is the Doctor?" "You, are Number Eight." McGoohan as new Dr.
"Who put the thumbtack in my bucket!?!" -- Odo
"Why is Lt. Barclay being referred to as a vegetable?"
"Yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again." - L. Long
"You can just turn into a couch." -- Quark
"You can log off anytime you like...but you can never leave..." - Dex
"You didn't object at the time." Odo to Kira, "The Search, part 1."
"You summoned me, Captain?!" said Earl Grey, hotly.
"You're the Doc, Doc!"
########### <------Scratch off to reveal your prize.
#:-)   <:          - Snake stalking person.
$ not found:  A)bort, R)efinance, D)eclare bankruptcy.
$$ doesn't buy happiness, if you don't know where to shop
$$$ not found --  A)bort, R)efinance, D)eclare bankruptcy
'Cause there ain't no dialtone for to give you no pain...
'\o.,@o.+:"/~!v <------ Tagline Debris
(((((((HYPNOTIC)))))))(((((((TAGLINE))))))).
((wrong && wrong) != right)
(A)bort (R)etry (I)nfluence with large hammer.
(A)bort, (R)etry, (W)hackitonthesideofthemonitor!
(C)1993 The Frank Fitch School of Tagline Research.
(D)inner not ready:  (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza.
(hiccup) � (hic) � My computer's drunk
(Ice rocks hit the hull)  "Captain, we are being hailed."
(sing) Sonic the Hedgehog Kicks Doctor Robotnik's Butt! (Go Sonic!)
* *   * * * * <-This tagline contains a Black Hole
* * * <- Tribbles            <- Cloaked Tribbles
* * * <- Tribbles   � � � <- Tribbles wearing condoms.
* . . . . .                   <- Tribble Mother and Young
* <- Regular Tribble  * <- Odo disguised as a tribble
* <-Tribble  # <-Tribble after Borg assimilation.
* FORD    Fix or Repair Daily.
* The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
** ERROR **  Unable to insert witty tagline.
*** TAGLINE BAN IN EFFECT IN THIS CONFERENCE ***
***************************** <------Tribble Reunion
****OMIGOD! I've Died and Entered Tagline Heaven!****
**FLASH** Eveready Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
*IT IS* documented, look under "For Internal Use Only."
*NOW* is a point in time that is already gone.
----------This Tagline is blank to save space-----------
-----T-A+G-L-I+N-E--+M-E-A+S-U-R+I-N-G+--G-A+U-G-E-------
... as she landed next to Data's profusely apologizing head. -Imzadi
....  Choosy Voyeurs choose .GIF! ....
...My radio is tuned to the voice of a star...
0x2B | ~0x2B   -Hamlet
0x2B | ~0x2B = 0xFF.
1-2-3-4  We're Sgt Pepper's Lonely Taglines Band...
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... (Bo Derek getting older).
10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.
10110100 00101101  <--- Reality bytes
1024x768x256.... Sounds like one mean woman.
11th Commandment: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's tag
123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567
186,282 miles per second, it's the LAW.
1st Amendment Rights: use them or lose them.
1st rule of marriage: If you're right, apologize fast.
2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
2 x 4 bbs - a basic board.
2+2=4 (for the time being).
24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case.  Hmmmm.....
3 dreaded words: " hard disk failure."
3 kinds of people: Those who can count & those who can't.
398: I will not steal taglines. 399: I will not steal taglines. 400: I w
43% of all statistics are totally worthless..
43rd Law of Computing:  Anything that can go wrong, will.
486SX: When only the most recent mediocrity will do...
5   floppy is not better than 3   hard.
5 out of 7 Doctors: Pertwee, T. Baker, Davidson, C. Baker, and McCoy.
50MHz 486 + Microsoft Windows = 4.77MHz 8088.
640k = 4480 in dog bytes.
640K ought to be enough for anybody. -Bill Gates, 1981.
640K should be enough for anyone. -Bill Gates
640k will be more than enough for anyone!  -Bill Gates 1981
65536 bytes in 8 lost chains - Convert to taglines (Y,y)
8 of 10 people suffer hemorrhoids the other 2 enjoy them.
80% of men cheat in America, the rest in Europe.
90% of any business transaction is selling yourself.
90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
90% of politicians give the other 10% a bat reputation.
93.4% of all statistics are made up.  The rest are false.
99.9% of the statistics are not true.
:)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)
<-------- The information went data way -------->
<< Just some more irrelevant nonsense from me. >>
<< Politically Un-Corrct Tagline Deleted! >>
<< Politically Un-Correct Tagline Deleted! >>
<<< Tagline deleted by Natl Endowment for the Arts >>>
<<< Tagline deleted by Senator Thurmond >>>
<<<TAGLINE ERROR>>> Report to tech support
<BAM!!!  This is the Tagline Police!!  Everybody FREEZE!!!
<TAGLINE OMITTED DUE TO LACK OF FUNDING>     (send money)
<tap> <tap> <tap> Is this thing on?
<This space unintentionally left blank>.
<This Tagline has been removed by U.S. Customs>
<This tagline is cloaked. You can't see it.>
<This Tagline prohibited entry by the I.N.S.>
== Generic Tagline, good for everyday use ==
==/==/==Police tagline==/==Do not cross ==/==/==
?pu gnikcab yb naem uoy tahw siht sI
?tagline?
A "lotus?"  I thought that was a Grasshopper.
A "program" is used to turn data into error messages.
A bachelor enjoys the chase but doesn't eat the game.
A bad peace is even worse than a war.
A bad workman always blames his fools.-- 7th Doctor
A bear robbed of cubs is safer than the folly of fools.
A beard signifies lice, not brains.
A belly button is for salt when you eat celery in bed.
A big enough hammer can usually fix anything.
A big mouth travels far and fast.
A bigot will not reason, a fool cannot, a slave dare not.
A billion dollars isn't what it used to be.
A billion here, a billion there, soon it is real money.
A bird in the bush can't make a mess in your hand.
A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.
A bird in the hand's better than one overhead.
A bleeding heart can be hell on the carpeting.
A bonded penguin is a happy penguin.
A book is the only immortality.
A book, a friend, a song, a glass, a chaste loving lass.
A brilliant smile will get you fan mail from lighthouses.
A Canadian is somebody who can make love in a canoe.
A cannibal only opens his mouth to change your feet.
A cat would be man's best friend, but never stoops to it.
A celebrity is a person who is known for well-knownness.
A child prodigy knows not to bother with it.
A choice is always possible, even without any options.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A clean, neat, and orderly desk is a sign of a sick mind.
A clear conscience is most often a sign of a bad memory.
A closed mouth gathers no flies.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A closed mouth maintains a happy mind.
A cold Diet Coke and another Camel.
A committee has six or more legs and no brain.
A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord
A conclusion is where you got tired of thinking.
A crappie is not a sunfish found in a toilet.
A critic knows the way but can't drive the vehicle.
A cynic smells the flowers and then looks for the casket.
A day without okra is like a day without sunshine.
A day without sunshine is like a night.
A day without sunshine is like night.
A deluge of words and drop of sense.
A dime saved is a dollar earned. The rest is Uncle Sam's.
A diploma proves only that you know how to find an answer
A dry sense of humor is better than slobbering everywhere
A family reunion is an effective form of birth control.
A farmer is always going to make it rich the next year.
A father is usually a banker provided by nature.
A feature is a bug with seniority.
A filker is a person who messes with songs...
A flying particle will seek the nearest eye.
A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
A fool and his money are soon elected.
A fool and his money are soon partying!
A fool must now and then be right by chance alone.
A fool must search for a greater fool to find admiration.
A friend in need is a pest.
A friend is something you earn.
A generation which ignores history has no past or future.
A gentleman can disagree without being disagreeable.
A good angle to approach any problem is the try-angle.
A good dog barks when told.
A good hot dog feeds the hand that bites it.
A good library must always be a two way street.
A good man gone wrong is usually a bad man found out.
A good man is hard to find, but a hard man is good...
A good marriage outlasts the first box of dental floss.
A good memory is one trained to forget the trivial.
A good organizer is the one who is careful to plan ahe
A good pun is its own reword.
A good rooster crows in any hen house.
A good scare is better than good advice.
A good tagline isn't stolen, it's resurrected!
A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit.
A gourmet thinking calories is a tart looking at a clock.
A great many family trees were started by grafting.
A gun gives you the body, not the bird.
A hangover:  the wrath of grapes.
A hard disk is good to find.
A heavy night snowstorm is God saying: "Take today off."
A hen is an egg's way of making another egg.
A hen tomorrow is more valuable than an egg today.
A hen who lays an egg cackles as if it was an asteroid.
A hole is nothing but you can still break your neck in it
A horse is a horse, of course, of course.
A horse may go freely to water, but a pencil must be lead
A hug warms the soul and places a smile in the heart.
A hundred stars do not equal the light of the one moon.
A hundred thousand lemmings can't all be wrong.
A husband is a lover with the nerve extracted.
A husband is the medicine for the ills of girlhood.
A jerk present in a group indicates a jerk in charge.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
A jug is carried under your coat for a dishonest reason.
A KGB keyboard has no <ESC> key.
A kind word and gun gets you more than a kind word alone.
A king's castle is his home.
A lady is one who only shows her underwear intentionally.
A lady wearing a chastity belt is not going to a ball.
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless paid for.
A leading authority is someone lucky who guessed right.
A leap year is never a good sheep year.
A learned fool is more foolish than an ignorant fool.
A liar isn't believed even when he speaks the truth.
A liberal is a person with no interests now at stake.
A lie in time saves nine.
A lie is terminological inexactitude.
A little greed can get you a lot of stuff.
A little ignorance can go a long way.
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
A little truth helps the lie go down.
A living example of Artificial Intelligence.
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, or was it here?
A lotus? I thought that was a Grasshopper.
A low yield atomic bomb is like being a bit pregnant.
A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
A male rite of passage: Writing your name in the snow.
A man in love mistakes a pimple for a dimple.
A man in the house is worth two on the street - Mae West.
A man is only as good as what he loves.
A man should live forever, or die trying.
A man who smiles when things go wrong knows who to blame.
A man without a god is like a fish without a bicycle.
A man's a man for that.
A man's house is his hassle.
A mind is a terrible thing to lay off.
A mind is a terrible thing to taste.
A mind is a terrible thing to... Ooohh!  A new video game!
A minister says matrimony should be enduring.  It is.
A miser is hard to live with, but makes a fine ancestor.
A mob has many heads, but no brains.
A mother is not a dust rag.
A mother of quintuplets gave spouse a separate bedroom.
A mother pampering a child is raising a serpent.
A mother-in-law is often a mother.
A motion to adjourn is always in order.
A mouse is an elephant built in Japan.
A new mother soon becomes a chief cook and bottom washer.
A newspaper is a collection of half-injustices.
A newspaper is to a book as a whore is to a lady.
A noisy exhaust to some almost amounts to a mating call.
A nose in artificial manure is not studying nature.
A nudist has no reason to fear a pickpocket.
A nudist is one who suffers from clothestrophobia.
A nudist wedding makes the best man easy to identify.
A ounce of pretension = a pound of manure.
A pain in the butt may be a friend in need..
A pen is mightier than a sword except it runs out of ink.
A penny for your thoughts; $20 to act it out.
A penny saved is 2.5 grams of zinc alloy.
A penny saved is a Congressional oversight.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
A perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 am.
A person does not have a sense of humor, it has you.
A person in a passion is riding a mad horse.
A person is a lion in his own cause.
A person never tells you anything until contradicted.
A person with two watches is never sure what time it is.
A person without a navel lives within all of us.
A person's got to know his limitations to avoid failure.
A pest: A friend in need.
A phaser is the universal communicator. � Worf
A piano is a piano is a piano. Gertrude Steinway.
A pitcher that goes to a well too often is broken first.
A plucked goose doesn`t lay golden eggs.
A poet is a kind of liar who always speaks the truth.
A poet reading his verse in public has a nasty habit.
A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck.
A problem can be found for almost every solution.
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
A programmer and his mind are soon parted
A recession is what takes the wind out of your sales.
A red nose can be the result of sunshine or moonshine.
A Robin redbreast in a cage puts all heaven in a rage.
A rock ----->me<----- A hard place.
A rolling stone is better than a bird in the hand.
A rooster clucks defiance -- but a lawyer.
A Rotarian was the first to call John the Baptist "Jack."
A school: Building with four walls and tomorrow inside.
A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
A short cut is the longest distance between two points.
A shot in the dark = searching for a needle in hay stack.
A shower is the halfway point between bed and world.
A simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.
A single fact can spoil a good argument.
A slap vs a slog is like a ribbon vs an obi.
A sleeping fox counts hens in his dreams.
A small object that is accidentally dropped will hide.
A smile is the sunshine that is a part of life.
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces every time.
A spoonful of sugar helps any medicine go down.
A statesman shears sheep, a politician skins them.
A table of contents has no drawers.
A tagline at this point would be irrelevant, right?
A tagline is a snippet of surreality.
A Tagline is a terrible thing to waste.
A teetotaller makes the worst drunkard.
A thick head can do as much damage as a hard heart.
A thief believes that everybody steals.
A thing of beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
A tidal wave of avalanche proportions.
A too-short mini skirt leaves a definitive end in view.
A true diplomat struts sitting down.
A true friend is one soul in two bodies.
A true friend is the best possession.
A true subwoofer makes the concrete shake beneath you.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper its written on.
A vote on the tally sheet is worth two in the box.
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
A well-written life is as rare as a well-spent one.
A whore is a whore for the same reason some of us aren't.
A wife lasts as long as a marriage, an ex-wife for ever.
A wise person sees as much as ought, not as much can.
A wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.
A woman must be a genius to create a good husband.
A woman's guess is more accurate than a man's certainty.
A word fitly spoken is like a beautiful apple of gold.
A worthless wise man always charms the rabble.
A writer thinks of critics as a tree feels about dogs.
A yawn is a silent shout.
A yer ago I kudnt spel progrmer now I are won.
A)bort R)etry G)et a gun and kill it.
AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.
AARRGHH!! A virus was chewing my FAT.
Abandon hope, all ye who <ENTER> here.
Abandon the search for truth: settle on a good fantasy.
Abdominos... sit-ups & pizza.
Ability is a good thing but stability is even better.
Abolish mornings.
Abort, Retry, Ignore, hold Requiem Mass?
Abort, Retry, Ignore, plan a Funeral Service?
Abort, Retry, Ignore, say Kaddish?
Abort, Retry, Ignore, Valium?
Absinthe makes the tart grow fonder.
Accordion: A bagpipe with pleats.
Accountants work their assets off.
Accuracy:  The vice of being right.
Ace, give me a can of that nitro-nine you're NOT carrying. --7th Dr.
ACK and ye shall receive.
ACME: For fifty years the leader in creative meyhem.
Acting is the art of keeping the audience from coughing.
Acting without thinking is like shooting without aiming.
Actions are neither as good nor as evil as impulses.
Actions are usually right, but the reasons seldom are.
Actions from sanity are not necessarily from feeling.
Actions speak louder than words -- but not so often.
Adam ate the apple, and our teeth still ache.
Adam's Rib: The original bone of contention.
Adhesive tagline.  Lick this XXXX!
Admiration: Polite recognition of self-reflection.
Adult:  One old enough to know better.
Adventure is the champagne of life.
Adversity makes people wise but not rich.
Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it.
Advertisement: The most truthful part of a newspaper.
After a snowstorm, everybody's lawn looks the same.
After all is said and done, usually more is said.
After four decimal places, nobody gives a damn.
After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
After two weeks of dieting, all I lost was two weeks.
Afterlyfe.sys not found! Do you want to re-incarnate? (y/n
Against stupidity, the Gods themselves, contend in vain.
Age and treachery can always overcome youth and skill.
Age is never a bar to human immaturity.
Age is only important if you're a cheese.
Age needn't necessarily be a bar to immaturity.
Ah, the vastness of space and time... and I end up here..
Ah, you've come to help me find the Zero room. - 5th Doctor
Aha!  I caught you reading taglines again.
aibohphobia, n., The fear of palindromes.
Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.
Alas! The poor tagline. For I knew it well.
Alas! The poor Tagline. I knew it well.
Aliens have invaded Earth! How else do you explain DOS?
Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.
All answers questioned here.
All barkers are not side show hawkers.
All clowns are masked, all personae flow from choices.
All computers wait at the same speed.
All for one; one for all, except me above all.
All general statements are false, except this one.
All general statements are false.
All great truths began as blasphemies.
All hope abandon ye who enter messages here.
All human life ends when you take a "dirt nap."
All humans are subject to decay.
All I ask is to prove that money can't make me happy.
All I have to do is imagine, and I am in dreamland.
All I know is what I read in the taglines.
all is said and done, people keep saying and doing.
All Klingons have ridges; some have more ridges than others. O'rwell
All mathochists suffer from calculust.
All my good taglines are one character too lon
All of the stars are to be found only up in the sky.
All power corrupts, but we need electricity.
All probabilities are 50%. It happens or it doesn't.
All real programs contain errors.
All reality is aspect dependent.
All right, who's been turning my messages into taglines?
All rivers run into the sea, yet the sea is not full.
All science is either physics or stamp collecting.
All sentences that seem true should be questioned.
All taglines are busy..One will be with you shortly.
All taglines busy. . . Please try again later.
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
All the kookies are not in the jar.
All the tea in china: 356,000 metric tons.
All the world's a stage and I've forgotten my lines...
All things are difficult before they are easy.
All things evolve, nothing is extinguished.
All those updates, and still imperfect.
All true wisdom is discovered in tag lines.
All true wisdom is found in taglines..
All wanting joy must share it, happiness was born a twin.
All warranties expire upon payment of this invoice.
All wiyht.  Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
All words are pegs on which to hang ideas.
All your future lies beneath your hat.
All's fair in love and war - What a contemptible lie.
All's well that ends well.
Alone in a bank at night is a pleasant experience.
Alright,who  g   r   e   a   s   e  d  the tagline?
Altruism is the devil's calling card.
Always be smarter than the people who hire you.
Always consider the alternative before making a choice.
Always do right: Gratify some and astonish the rest.
Always first decide the sentence, then the verdict.
Always format alphanumerically, then preview graphically.
Always listen to experts. Hear the impossible then do it.
Always look out for #1 and be careful not to step in #2.
Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Always put your brain in gear before starting your mouth.
Always remember that a moving neutrino gathers no mass.
Always remember the past, but make waves when it matters.
Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
Always remember where you came from so you can return.
Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.
Always remember, to copy a disk is not to Xerox it.
Always smile.  It makes people wonder what you're up to.
Always store beer in a cool dark place.
Always take aim at the Tidy Bowl Man.
Always tell her she is beautiful, even if she isn't.
Always use your enemy's hand to catch a snake.
Always willing to share my ignorance...
Always yield to temptation, it may never return.
Alzheimer's Club: Meet the same new friend every day.
Am I ignorant or apathetic?  I don't know and don't care!
Amazing how much you learn after thinking you know it all
Ambition destroys its possessor.
AMBLIN PRESS RELEASE: The New Dr.Who will be played by me!
America is a dream to most of the world.
America is a tune.  But it must be sung in harmony.
America is the only country founded on a good ideal.
America was not discovered by Americans, shame on them.
America's 5 Most Feared Words: "Dan, I don't feel well.
America, land of opportunity for Japanese businessmen.
American kids have Ninetendo. Japanese kids have homework
American politics: The walruses herding the oysters.
Amiga! Only the Best!
Amiga: No Intel Inside. (Thank God)
Amiga: The computer for the creative mind.
Among economists, the real world is often a special case.
An accommodating vice is better than an obstinate virtue.
An actor without buck teeth can play the Easter Bunny.
An agreeable person: One who agrees with you.
An alcoholic is an enemy who drinks as much as you do.
An alcoholic: A person who drinks more than his physician
An appeaser feeds a crocodile, hoping to be eaten last.
An ass thinks one thing, his rider another.
An atheist has no invisible means of support.
An attacker must vanquish, a defender need only survive.
An authority is anyone who guessed right more than once.
An electrical engineer deals with current events.
An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.
An evening with Dax... Bashir's trill of a lifetime.
An honest politician: One who stays bought.
An idea is not responsible for fools who believe in it.
An inch of dog is better than a mile of pedigree.
An institution is the lengthened shadow of one man.
An open mind is wonderful if matching mouth not included.
An optimist invented an airplane; a pessimist a parachute
An optimist is a guy without much experience.
An ounce of example is worth a ton of advice.
An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
An over the hill astronaut requests a slower capsule.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Anarchy: Rights without Responsibilities.
Ancient custom has the force of law.
And all the Borg left was this copy of OS/2...
And all the Borg left was this copy of System 7...
And all the Borg left was this copy of Windows...
And all the Borg left was this darn Macintosh...
And all the Borg left was this darn PC Clone...
And all the children are above average in our system.
And God said, "Let there be light, but make it quick."
And now a word from Wall Street: "HELP!"
And now for something completely different.
And now for something completely ridiculous...
And now, let the fun begin.
And on the seventh day, He exited from append mode.
And the only thing the Borg left was this copy of OS/2...
And the only thing the Borg left was this copy of System 7...
And the only thing the Borg left was this copy of Windows NT...
And the only thing the Borg left was this copy of Windows...
And this has been a long message
And this has been the Igwall!!!!!!
And this is brought to you by International Underware incoporated.
And this is your brain over-easy with a side of bacon.
And what am I bid on this vintage 1983 tagline?
And when fate summons even the Tsar must obey.
And you know Flipper, he lives in a world full of wonder.
Angels can fly since they take themselves lightly.
Anger always drives the mouth faster than the mind.
Anger is a wind which blows out the lamp of reason.
Angling: The name given to fishing by non-fishermen.
Animal attraction: here for hunger or for love.
Animals -- the renewable resource
Another day, another challenge.
Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
Answers: $1, Short: $5, Correct: $25, dumb looks are still free.
Antenna farms benefit from propagation.
Antonym:  The opposite of the word you're searching for.
Any body seen my tagline...?
Any certainty is a delusion.
Any day can be the beginning of a new year.
Any fool can tell the truth, it takes sense to lie well.
Any given program,  when running correctly, is obsolete.
Any IC protected by a fast acting fuse protects the fuse.
Any man who can see through women is sure missing a lot.
Any priest or shaman is guilty until proven innocent.
Any socialism involves more slavery than democracy.
Any sufficiently advanced bug will become a feature.
Any sufficiently advanced magic looks like technology.
Anybody can say they'll do something, few actualize it.
Anybody can win, unless there is a second entry.
Anyone can hate. It costs to love.
Anyone can walk on water, just know where the rocks are.
Anyone Posting Tribble Taglines Will Be Shot.
Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
Anything good is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
Anything I make can become a cause for my sorrow.
Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.
Anything not a constant, is not a commandment from God.
Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
Anything simple is stated in the most complicated manner.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken can be sung.
Anything that kills you makes you... well, dead.
Anything worth doing is worth getting someone else to do
Anything worth doing, is worth doing for a profit.
Anything you post will be quoted & used against you in a Tagline court.
Anytime things go better, you have overlooked something.
Apathy Error:  Don't bother striking any key.
Apogee- when you REALLY want to have fun, they're #1!
Apology is only egotism wrong side out.
Applied emotion is the key to success with happiness.
April 16th: Count your blessings - nothing else is left.
April Fools! You're really in a holodeck simulation!
Architecture is the art of how to waste space.
Are deaf psychiatrists better listeners?
Are dog biscuits made from Collie Flour?
Are parttime band leaders semi-conductors?
Are RAM chips better than EWE chips?
Are taglines the footnotes of Reality?
Are the taglines too long, or is the tagline-space to sh
Are those cookies made with real Girl Scouts?
Are we supposed to be having fun yet?
Are you a good witch, or are you a bad witch?
Are you a Klingon, or is that a turtle on your head?
Are you implying that I would Ever stoop to "Tagline Thievery"?
Are you part of the solution, or the precipitate?
Are you sure taglines are safe???.
Are you virus free? Be sure with URINALIS.EXE.
Are you waiting for your prey?
arfinghnugin - The feeling you get from a Volkswagen.
ARGH! I've been subpoenaed to appear in Tagline Court!
Arkansas: Bubble-gum cards are in the Great Books series.
Army food: The spoils of war.
ARRRRRGGGHHH!!!! ... Tension breaker, had to be done.
Art does not reproduce the visible; it makes visible.
Art for art's sake is a philosophy of the well-fed.
Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.
Art is either plagiarism or revolution.
Art is I; Science is We.
Art is vision not expression.
Art thou an artist, or art thou art?
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
Artificial Intelligence: The other guy's opinion.
Artistic ventures highlighted.  Rob a museum.
Artists' models make only a bare living.
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
As easy as 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841.
As for me, all I know is that I know nothing.
As I learn, I know about more things I don't yet know.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
As I said last week, I'll be done tomorrow.
As I was going up a stair, I met a man who wasn't there.
As I was saying, I hate it when people don't finish their
As lacking in privacy as a goldfish.
As long as I live, I shall be, myself, no other, just me.
As long as we remain unsure, we are alive.
As you stroll through life always remember: HELL SUCKS!
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
Ask about our unwanted orphan tagline program.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls the answer can be deadly.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls; let the machine get it.
Asking PAC BELL for advice is like asking IRS tax advice.
ASL has 15 signs for stupidity; 3 for smart.
Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.
Assembly line workers do it over and over.
Assimilated You will Be, Futile Resistance is.  Yoda of Borg
Assumption #1: Dan Quayle is smarter than broccoli.
Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.
Astrology is Taurus.
Astronomy: The anatomy and physiology of our universe.
Astrophysicans try to cure sick stars.
At 19, everything is possible; tomorrow looks friendly.
At all ages you are certain you still have another year.
At least you can always use my code as a bad example.
At times we must settle for inferior  quality time.
At yuletide, astronauts look for the missile toe.
AT&MO&GETMAIL&READMAIL&REPLY&STEALTAGLINES
Attack long worms from the rear - that is so much safer.
ATTENTION ..............Elvis has left the echo.
Attention K-Mart shoppers, today the special is...
Aunt Em. Hate Kansas. Hate you. Took dog. Dorothy.
Aural sex gives me an earie feeling
Autobiography: Unrivalled telling truth about others.
Automobile mufflers don't die, they just get exhausted.
Avant-Garde Narrow: a typeface for the broad-minded.
Ave, Rex Moderatus Physicus!
Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance.
Avoid fighting with the ugly, they have nothing to lose.
Avoid home accidents, joined planned parenthood.
Avoid junk mail, get an unlisted ZIP code.
Avoid Mailmen...............They Are Carriers.
Avoid reality at all costs.
Avoid the 5 o'clock rush - always leave work at noon.
Avoid The Noid.
Awesome Possum Kicks Doctor Machino's Butt!    "I'm Awesome!"
Bach is like a jetstream -if you can get on it, you soar!
Bachelor's wives and spinster's children: always perfect.
Bachelor: A guy who has cheated a woman out of a divorce.
Bachelor: One who is footloose and fiance free.
Bachelor: Plays the field until the field comes in.
Bachelorhood should be taxed, such happiness is valuable.
Back up my hard disk? I can't find the reverse switch!
Back up my hard drive? And what, run over something?
Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch!
Back when I was a boy, we carved our own ICs out of wood.
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
Backup not found: Abort, Retry, Massive heart failure?
Backups?  We don' *NEED* no steenking baX%^~,VbKx.
Bad command or file name.  Go stand in the corner.
Bad officials: elected by good citizens who fail to vote.
Bad spelers of the word, untie.
Bad spellers of the world untie.
BakerDos 4.0: (O)ffer a jelly baby; (C)onfuse 'em; (S)earch pockets
Bald spot?  No -- solar panel for brain power
Banging head against wall mode - off.
Bank error in your favor.  Collect $200.
Bank Rule: To get a loan, first prove you don't need it.
Baptism: A kind of damp bar mitzvah.
Barfinghnugin - The feeling you get from a Volkswagen.
Bargain Tagline (no message).
Barometer: Indicates what kind of weather we are having.
Baroque: When you are out of Monet.
BASIC programmers never die, they GOSUB and don't RETURN.
Bastard toadflax: not the result nearsighted horny toads.
Bathroom scale: Something you stand on and swear at.
Batteries not included.
BBCDOS 1.0: Delete DOCTOR.WHO? (Y/n/Partially)
BBS addiction is a Terminal disease.
BBS: a method to triple your phone bill.
Be a friend to the earth and it will be a friend to you.
Be Alert -- what the world needs is more LERTS.
Be as good at receiving as you are at giving.
Be careful when playing under the anvil tree.
Be careful when slinging mud, you might lose ground.
Be Excellent to Each Other    ---Rufus--- Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
Be flexible, some things just take time.
Be mischievous and creative, if they fit you.
Be nice on your way up you'll meet again on the way down.
Be reasonable ... Let's do it my way.
Be right & fear no man.  Don't write & fear no woman.
Be self-reliant and your success is assured.
Be smart as a cat: Make a friend of your enemy's enemy.
Be spontaneous.......combust.
Be sure not to start a Tagline you can't finis
Be sure to use DEVICE=EXXON to screw up your environment.
Be suspicious of all non-native-born Esperanto speakers.
Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm hunting Bawiels...
Be vewy, vewy quiet....I'm hunting tagwines.
Beam me up Scotty.... I swallowed my Phaser.
Bearjoran takes over DS9 in Pooh D'Etat!
Beat's me!!! I never read the documentation.
Beauty faded has no second spring.
Beauty is often in the thighs of the beholder.
Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes straight to the bone.
Beauty seldom recommends one woman to another.
Becket-Calavicci '96 - Putting right what once went wrong.
Bedfellows make strange politicians.
Been there!  Done that!  Stole the tagline!
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
Beep. Invalid Input.  I take only cash.
Beer and women: Two of God's best gifts to mankind.
Beer! Now there's a temporary solution.
Beer!, Now that's a temporary solution.
Before advising be yourself, reassess his character.
Beginnings and endings are truly artificial constructs.
Behind an able man, there are always other able men.
Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
Behind every great man is an amazed mother-in-law!
Behind every successful man stands a surprised MIL.
Being a "nice guy" doesn't cost, but it generally pays.
Being a husband is a full time job.
Being able to say NO is the root to reclaiming your life.
Being alive: Concentrating on goals, not limitations.
Being married means making both love *AND* war.
Being old fashioned is not necessarily good or better.
Being punctual makes people think you have nothing to do.
Beneath every stone sleeps a scorpion.
Benign: What you are after you be eight.
Benji! Don't run out in the street @#$*#'_.NO TERRIER.
Best diet: Eat as much as you want, but don't swallow it.
Best thing about the future: it comes one day at a time.
Best way to appreciate a job: imagine yourself without it
Best way to keep your friends: don't give them away.
Beta testers do it until it breaks.
Better a coward for a minute than dead forever.
Better loved and lost than never lost at all.
Better taglines through confiscation.
Better the shoulder to the wheel than the back to the A I
Better three hours too soon than a minute too late.
Better to marry a man who loves you than one you love.
Better to understand little than misunderstand a lot.
Beulah, peel me a grape.
BEWARE - Tagline Thief in this echo
Beware of friends who are false and deceitful.
Beware of geeks bearing GIFs!
Beware of hip and rum drivers.
Beware of little expenses. A small leak can sink a ship.
Beware of low-flying butterflies.
Beware of opinions of anyone with or without any facts.
Beware of plants that eat their young
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
Beware of the opinion of someone without any facts.
Beware of the Quantum Ducks -- QUARK  QUARK  QUARK.
Beware of the woman who does not drink.
Beware of true believers you may be duped by a false god.
Beware the person who has nothing to lose. He always wins
Beware when God lets loose a thinker on this planet.
Beware! This is a dangerous product, manuals required.
Beware. I'm armed and have suffered from PMS all my life.
Big Brother is watching.
Bigamist: An Italian fog.
Bigamist: One who makes the same mistake twice.
Bigamy: One wife too many.  Monogamy: Same idea...
Binary Choir = 1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1.
Biochemists wear designer genes.
Biography should be written by an acute enemy.
Biography: One of the terrors of death.
Biological love =/= chemical love.
Biology is destiny.
Birds are trapped by their feet, people by their tongues.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date.
Bits make bytes, but nibbles turn me on.
Black holes were created when God divided by zero.
Blame it all on FIDO-- it ate my message! (to Blame it on the Rain)
Blame Murphy when you dig at the wrong end of a rainbow.
Blaming others can become a satisfying way of life.
Bless the peacemakers their work will never end.
Blessed are the censors; they shall inhibit the earth.
Blessed are the meek, for they make great scapegoats.
Blessed are the pessimists, for they have made backups.
Blessed are the young, let them inherit the national debt
Blessed be the pessimist for he hath made backups.
Blessed is he expecting nothing, and never disappointed.
Blessed our young they will inherit our national debt.
Blessings never come in pairs; misfortunes never alone.
Blesss us and splash usss, taglinesss for my preciousss.
Blond Mating Call:  Oh, I'm so drunk [giggle].
Blood is thicker than water, and much more tastier.
Blow your mind, smoke gunpowder.
Blue Wave Tagline makers can do it  l o n g e r .
Body by Fisher - brains by Mattel
Boldly going forward because we simply can't find reverse
Boldly start in reverse, 'cause that's the genealogy way.
Bomb #20, you're out of the bomb bay again.
BONES! THIS! FEELS! GREAT!   "It's HEAD, Jim!"
Bones: He's dead Jim! Jim: No kidding !!
Boot & ye shall see. Replace & all will be made clear.
Boozer's Revision: A bird in the hand is dead.
Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Borg -- James Borg -- licensed to assimilate.
Borg MailReader v1.0 * Your taglines will be assimilated!
Borg Moderator: Your Topic Is Irrelevant.
Borg Spreadsheet Program - Locutus 1-2-3
Borg virus detected.  (A)ssimilate? (Y/y/y)
Borg, James Borg. Vodka martini, Gin is irrelevant.
BorgTV: Your programs will be assimilated after these messages
Born crying, live complaining, die disappointed.
Born free and taxed to death.
BOSS spelled backwards is Double S-O-B
Both of his feet are firmly planted in the air.
Bother, said Pooh as the moderator Orbed him for being off-topic.
Bother, said Pooh, as he put the message in the wrong conference.
Bother, said Pooh, as he scrambled his partition table.
Bother, said Pooh, as he tried to install OS/2.
Bother, said Pooh, as he tried to install Windoze.
Bother, said Pooh, as he was given another bad script.
Bother, said Pooh, locking his photon torpedoes on the USS Heffalump.
Boy:  A noise with dirt on it.
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
Brain damage?  No thanks, I already have some.
Brain, like muscle, works better if regularly exercised.
Brain/Pinky '96: first the United States; then, the WROLD!!!!!
Brain:  The apparatus with which we think that we think.
Brannon Braga, when the plot fell apart- Tamarian review of bad TNG.
Breast implant silicon should not influence brains.
Bride: Woman with fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Bring back Cosmo! I love suction cups!
Bring me my blue soap box. I want to make a speech.
Bring the whole family...but leave the kids at home.
Brother, can you spare a tagline?.
Bubble, Bubble..Am I too late to jump the ship ?
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
Bug free, cheap, on time, works. Pick two.
Bugs are sons of glitches.
Build a better mousetrap and along will come better mice.
Build a better Windows, and kids will still throw rocks.
Build a vast arena, then put a half-vast team therein.
Build high for happiness.
Bumper sticker: Honk if you're illiterate.
Bureaucracy: That place always in need of a laxative.
Bureaucrat, n.: A person who cuts red tape sideways.
BUSH.SYS corrupted, recommend optimizing politics.
But aunt Slappy, that was a cartoon. This is real life!
But God told me to use a GOTO.
But I thought YOU did the backups...
But once you are real, you can't become unreal again.
But soft! What beam thru yonder saucer section cuts? 'Tis the Borg.
But soft, what light through yonder tagline breaks?
But you Thaid it wath a PITH helmet!
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer, Gie her a haggis.
Buttermilk, it makes a body bitter.
Buy a 486-33 so you can reboot faster.
BUY CANADIAN!    (This Tagline made in Japan)
By following the good, you learn to be good.
By the time I have money to burn, my fire will be out.
By the time we've made it, we've had it.
By the way, you're soaking in it.
By trying we can learn to endure another's adversity.
C program run... Run, program, run...  PLEASE...
C programming means never having to say you're done.
C'est la vie.
C:\>  The stick shift of computing.
Cal's Tagcrafters: Taglines repaired for about $20.00!
California is a fine place to live, if you are an orange.
California makes the best wine, New York the best whine.
California raisins murdered! Cereal killer suspected.
Call out the vice squad.  Someone's mounting a disk drive
Call waiting, great if you have two friends.
Camels have wet dreams too.
Can a blue man sing the whites?
Can anybody think of a good tagline I can steal?
Can bankers count? Eight windows and only four tellers?
Can I blame all of my spelling on line noise?
Can I go back to bed now?
Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?
Can taglines have sequels?  Hmmm.....
Can you do the Picard Maneuver in a Grand Am?
Can you open your mind without it falling out?
Can you prove it didn't happen?
Can you see it Joker?  It's written all over my face.
Can you teach an old hooker new tricks?
Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?
Can't see it? It's there.  I'm using stealth technology.
CANADA: SAVE THE TREES; EAT A BEAVER.
Candy's dandy but liquor's quicker. - O.N.
Cap'n Crunch found dead- Cerial killer suspected.
Cap'n! Cap'n! The UART's will'nae take the speed!
Capitalistic man exploits man; Socialism reverses this.
Captain, I sense millions of minds focused on my cleavage.
Captain, The mains are OFFLINE and I cant send Starfleet a message!
Captain, we are receiving 285,000 hails -- Wesley
Captain, why not just give the Borg OS/2?
Captain, why not just give the Borg System 7?
Captain, why not just give the Borg WINDOWS 3.1?
Captain, why not just give the Borg WINDOWS NT?
Carasvemos, corazones no sabemos.
Cardassian Burger: How many pickles do you see?
Cardassian Cable : 4 channels? No! We have *5* channels!
Careful planning is the key to safe and swift travel.
Carelessness does more harm than a want of knowledge.
CARROT JUICE?!?! --6th Dr.
Cash value of this tagline: 1/20 of 1 cent
Cash, a poor person's credit card.
Castlevania; if it doesn't whip you, you'll be hooked!
Catastrophes to others are everyday events to you.
Cats are like furry dilettanti, or the reverse?
Cats teach that not everything in nature has a function.
Cats took many thousands of years to domesticate humans.
Cats, proof that eating and sleeping isn't all bad.
Cause-&-Effectergizer: "The starship keeps blowing and blowing and..."
CAUTION!  Taglines may be hazardous to your disk space!
Caution!  This echo is infested with tagline thieves.
Caution! - Bug squashing in progress.
CAUTION! Taglines may be closer than they appear!
Caution: Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
CAUTION: Do not install prior to installation.
Caution: The tagline you steal may be your own!
CBaker Virus: blinds you in VGA mode and repeats all commmands 3 times.
Ceci n'est pas un chapeau.
Cedant arma togae.
Celebrate Hannibal Day.  Take an elephant to lunch.
Celebrate the first day you open the windows.
Celery farmers play the stalk market.
Celery raw develops a jaw. But stewed, is quietly chewed.
Celibacy isn't hereditary. Your children force it on you.
Cemetery: (n); A marble orchard you can take for granite.
Cereal Killer Strikes Again!...Last words "Nuttin Honey"
Certum est quia impossibile est.
Cesarean Section: A historic district in Rome.
Chain Tagline Gang...outlawed in Texas.
Chain tagline! Copy it or bad luck will follow!
Chain Tagline. Steal and add one to this number: 12
Challenge is the fuel that drives the winner.
Chance makes our parents, but choice makes our friends.
Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.
Change is inevitable ... except from vending machines.
Change, my dear. And it seems not a moment too soon!--The SIXTH Dr.
Changing the words! Filkers of the Fidonet!
Character is much easier kept than recovered.
Charity begins at home, and mostly ends where it begins.
Chaste makes waste.
Chastity Belt is here. Do you have the right key?
Chastity is it's own punishment.
Check the dilithium crystals, we've got a cross-echo.
Chicken heads are the chief food of captive alligators.
Chicken Little was right.
Childish Game: One at which your spouse beats you.
Children are curly, dimpled lunatics.
Children deserve to be wanted, and feel free and safe.
Children have more need of models than of critics.
Children: the most common sexually transmitted disease.
Chocolate coat them words. You'll be eating them later.
Choose heaven for climate, hell for society.
Choose your friends, allow your enemies to choose you.
Choosy perverts choose GIF.
Chutzpah: Does your BBS take collect calls?
cigar is just a cigar.
Circular logic will only get you dizzy.
Circular logic will only make you dizzy, Doctor.
Citation for slow BBS'ing: Going 1200 in an HST lane
Cities, like cats, will reveal themselves at night.
Civilization is a movement, it is a voyage not a harbor.
Civilized people need love for full sexual satisfaction.
Claiming mental bankruptcy is always an easy option.
Classified Tag Line-Please Enter Password:
Clean mind, clean body:  Take your pick.
Cleanliness is next to clean-limbed, in the dictionary.
Clever father, clever daughter; clever mother, clever son
Click ... click ... click ... damn, out of taglines!
Click...click...click...damn, out of new taglines.
Click..Click..Click..darn, out of taglines!
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
Climbing my family tree was fun, until the nuts appeared.
Clinton may not have inhaled but Brown has never exhaled.
Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.
Close your eyes and press escape three times.
Closed eyes are not always sleeping.
Closing bid, ask, and total sales of stocks not traded.
COBOL programs are an example of artificial inelegance.
COFFEE.COM not found: A)dd more, R)eheat F)reak out.
Cogito ergo spud!  (I think, therefore I yam).
Cogito, ergo Hormel - I think, therefore I Spam.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Colic: a sheepdog that is part collie.
ColinDOS 6.0- (A)dmire self, (R)epeat word 3 times, getting louder.
ColinDOS 6.0: Insufficient memory in EGO.EXE ... Load high (Y/N)?
Collector: Person few care to see but ask to call again.
College: Guarantee the quality of the product or return.
Come back to Oakland, we missed you the first time.
Come, Doctor! It's as easy as pie! --The Master, 5 Doctors.
Comedy is the art of making people laugh without puking.
Coming soon to BBC1: Doctor Who: The Next Regeneration.
Comma, Comma, Comma, Comma,   Comma, Quotation Mark...
Comment vous sentez-vous aujourdn'hui?
Commercial we'll _never_ see: "Got Filk?"
Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Committee: A life-form with several mouths but no brain.
Common politics: Holding an office of trust for profit.
Common sense isn't.
Communication.. without it, everyone's a mushroom.
Communism will work when love, not greed, inspires it.
Communists do it without class.
CompanionDos revision 9.0: (S)cream, (F)aint, (R)un away, (N)itro
CompanionDos: (S)cream, (F)aint, (R)un away
Complexity isn't the answer - it's the problem.
Computations which yield 0 are probably all for naught.
Computer not found! Please notify tagline!
Computer: a device designed to drive human beings insane.
Computers also eliminate spare time.
Computers are not intelligent.  They only think they are.
Computers are unreliable, but humans are more unreliable.
Computers byte and run.
Computers can never replace human stupidity.
Computers don't make mistakes, but foolish people do.
Computing is one of the terminal diseases.
Condense soup, not books.
Confirmation of the past is often the greatest surprise.
Confucius say: Man with hand in pocket is having a ball.
Confucius say: Show-off always shown up in showdown.
Confused, he throws a Sonic Hedgehog by mistake.
confusion- n. Donald Duck speaking Klingonese.
Congenital: Adjective synonymous to "friendly."
Congress finds more profit in supporting tobacco than you
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
Conscience: the inner voice warning somebody is looking.
Conserve water.  Ban salted peanuts.
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
Constants aren't; variables don't.
Consult with a real expert - Call your mother.
Contains no user-serviceable parts.
Contents may settle during shipping.
Contraceptives: to be used on all conceivable occasions.
Corporations don't care about people as much as money.
Correct me if I'm wrong ... everybody else does.
Corruption. The most infallible symptom of liberty.
Couldn't have sid it better myself.
Courage is your greatest present need.
Cow's breath attracts mosquitoes and tsetse flies!
Coward:  One who in thinks with his legs.
Cowards can never be moral.
CP/M + IBM = 'Just about what we got NOW.'
CPU time flies when you're having fun.
Crashed? I wasn't even driving.
Crayola presents a new color! TARDIS BLUE!!!
Crayons can take you more places than starships. * Guinan
Creativity demands curiosity in the search for knowledge.
Creditors have much better memories than debtors.
Crime doesn't pay? Does that mean my job is illegal?
Criminal: The poor guy who gets caught.
Cross ball points with coat hangers so they multiply.
Cross Lassie with cantaloupe and get a meloncollie baby.
Cross-country skiing is great in small countries.
CRUISING: 16800bps modem and 0.5bps fingers!
Cry "Assimilate," and let loose the cubes of Borg!
Cthulhu Calls -- using MCI
Cthulhu Express: when it absolutely has 2 be an eldritch horror.
Cthulhu for President: Why not vote for the Ultimate Evil?!
Cthulhu loves me, this I know; the Necronomicon told me so.
Cthulhu! You've been SPOKEN to about biting the readers!
Cthulhu: it's the surreal thing.
Curly; " Oooh, short wave?"  Moe: "No, permanent."
Curmudgeons are cantankerous and churlish.
Curzon's dead. I'm Jadzia Dax now.
Custer was fitted for an Arrow shirt.
Custom is the law of fools.
Cute rots the intellect.
Cyberspace forever and ever and ever.
Cynic: Through rose-colored glasses with a jaundiced eye.
Cynicism is intellectual dandyism.
Dachshund: Half a dog high by a dog and a half long.
Daddy, what does 'Formatting Drive C' mean?
Daddy, what does 'read error in FAT' mean?"
Daddy.  What does Formatting Drive C: mean?
Daddy?  What's this little red button for?
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true.
Dammit Commander! I'm a doctor, not a savate expert! --Bashir
Dammit Jim!  I'm a doctor, not a tagline writer!
Dammit Leela, I'm a Time Lord, not a Trekkie!
Dammit, Bones! I _need_ that book! "It's being read, Jim."
Dammit, where'd I leave that tagline?
Damn it Jim! It's one of Keith's taglines!.
Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor, not a SysOp.
Damn it, I'm a DOCTOR not a TAGLINE!!!!
Damn the baud rate, full speed ahead.
Damn your "Once more for old times sake."
Damnit Jim! I'm a doctor, not a Gallifreyan!
Dan Quayle asks: "Are Cheerios are bagel or donut seeds?"
Dan Quayle has all the charisma of a speed bump.
Dan Quayle: the EDLIN of Vice-Presidents.
Dancing with a grass widow brings on hay fever.
Dancing: A vertical manifestation of a horizontal desire.
DANGER DANGER Computer store ahead...hide wallet.
DANGER. Human at keyboard.
Dangerous exercise: jumping to conclusions.
Dare to dream - no one can take that away from you.
Darmok and Jelad at McDonald's.
Darn, I'm at the end of my tagline list!
Data File: One who likes Commander Data.
Data uses Energizers... his mouth keeps going, and going, and going...
Data!  Data!  I must have Data!....Sherlock Picard?????
Data's favorite philosopher: Immanuel Kannot.
Data, are you all right? "I'm fine, sir." OOOPS!
Data, data everywhere, and not a byte to eat.
David Duke: A crazy quilt is more apropos than a sheet.
David Duke: He climbs into bed and he's in uniform.
David Duke: Same old sheet.
David Duke: Sheet for brains.
DavisonDOS 5.0: (S)mile (B)e charming (T)hrow cricket ball
Dawn: the time when men of reason go to bed.
Day of inquiry.  You will be subpoenaed.
Day-by-day a day goes by.
De los sos ojos tan fuertemientre lorando.
Deal. "Fax me a $10 bill, I'll fax you the I/O card."
Death is certain, life isn't.
Death is nature's way for telling you you've slowed down.
Death is not the end; there remins the litigation.
Death...God's tagline
Death: To stop sinning suddenly.
Defeat even explained well stinks.
Defeat is worse than death since you have to live with it
DEFINE: De ting you get for breaking de law.
Definitions: "Multi-tasking" -- reading in the bathroom.
Deja Who: The feeling that you have seen this climactic ending before.
DEL *.*     Does WHAT?
Del dicho al hecho hay gran trecho.
Demand a 9600 BAUD psychomodem and a telepathic protocol.
Democracy can withstand anything but militant democrats.
Democracy, the worst government except for all the others
Democratic rule: "Confusion creates jobs."
Democrats: We've got what it takes to take what you got.
Deny thy father and forget thy tagline.
Dermatologists give rash judgments.
Desecrate, decimate, rah. rah. rah.
Desk: A very large wastebasket with drawers.
Destiny is not a matter of chance but a matter of choice.
Detour: The roughest distance between two points.
Detroit is Cleveland without the glitter.
Devoted to the study of cat bathing as a martial art.
Dew is the tears which the stars weep.
Did Humpty Dumpty have major medical insurance?
Did my ancestors inbreed? My genes seem tight.
Did you ever stop to think, and then forget to restart?
Did you hear about the new deli that opened in India??
Did you know that clones never use mirrors?
Did you know that no-one ever reads these things?
Did you really expect mere proof to sway my opinion?
Die smiling, life is too important to take seriously.
Difficult? I wish it had been impossible!
Digital circuits are made from analog parts.
Dijon vu: the feeling you've tasted this mustard before.
Dilate: What happens when you live too long.
Dime de lo que blasonas, y te dire de lo quwe careces.
Diode: What happens to people who don't die young.
Dios tarda pero no olvida.
Diplomacy gets your out of what tact would have prevented
Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone have your way.
Diplomacy: the delicate weapon of the civilized warrior.
Diplomacy: The patriotic lying for one's country.
Disaster often rests closely to success.
Disco is to music what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
Discoveries are often made by not following instructions.
Disease is the retribution of an outraged nature.
Do artificial plants need artificial water?
Do bl Sp ce is a v ry saf  me hod of driv  compr s ion
Do blondes prefer gentlemen?
Do cellular phones cause reckless dialing?
Do files get embarassed being unZIPped ?
Do files get embarrassed being unZIPped?
Do fish wonder where all the toes go after Labor Day?
Do health nuts die of nothing?
Do I even WANT ancestors? Some I wish I could lose.
Do I have a lifestyle yet?
Do I have to pee whenever I see a sign:   WET FLOOR ?
Do I look like I'd use Taglines?
Do I need a Genealogical Search Warrant to see records?
DO I need a modem for each phone line?
Do it yourself Tagline: ______________________________________
Do MILs drink goat milk?  They're always butting in.
Do mimes listen to blank tapes?
Do ministers do more than lay people?
Do not adjust your mind, the fault is with reality.
Do not adjust your set.  We are in control.
Do not attempt to traverse a chasm in two leaps .
Do not curse the darkness, check your warranty.
Do not cut along this line ------------------------------
Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.
Do not remove this tag under penalty of death.
Do not remove this tagline under penalty of law!
Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.
Do not taunt this tagline...
Do not taunt: Happy Fun Tagline.
Do not wait for an echo when you drop a rose petal.
Do our stars twinkle in angst?
Do people who believe in mental telepathy invest in AT&T?
Do Quarter Horses have only a single leg?
Do radio atheists say "Send in your money & be saved?"
Do something unusual today.  Pay a bill.
Do unions picket God for working a six day week?
Do unto others, then split.
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Do we have to save the universe AGAIN?!?!
Do well and you will have no need for ancestors.
Do well, hear of it never. Do ill, hear of it forever.
Do what comes naturally now. Throw a tantrum.
Do what you will with this tagline, just don't bother me
Do what you will with this tagline, just don't bother me about it!
Do witches run spell checkers?
Do you know where your ancestors were and what they did?
Do you like me for my brain, or my BAUD?
Do you prefer Gin and Platonic or Scotch and Sofa?
Do your duty in all things.  You cannot do more.
DOC's??? Oh, you mean the stuff you wipe up coffee with?
Docs? Last time I went, I got nasty tasting medicine.
Docs? Why would I want to look at Docs? Nurses are better
Doctor Who for president
Doctor, do you _ever_ wash that outfit?
Doctor, I think it's time for you to take advantage of my shop. --Garak.
Doctrine is the skin of truth set up and stuffed.
Documentation - The worst part of programming.
Documentation:  The last resort.
Does a patriot order American in a Chinese restaurant?
Does a radioactive cat have 18 half-lives?
Does anybody actually read Taglines
DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHAT A 'cAPS lOCK' KEY IS?
Does anyone REALLY read these stupid taglines?
Does history record any case where a majority was right?
Does it really matter which cola I drink?
Does it take an entomologist to recognize a computer bug?
Does LIFO-suction work on a FAT table?
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Does your BBS take collect calls?
Dogmatism: Puppyism come to its full growth.
Dogs crawl under fences; software crawls under Windows.
Dollars cannot buy yesterday.
Don't argue with he who buys ink by the gallon.
Don't be a snob. Never lie when truth is more profitable.
Don't be fazed by new fashions in anything.
Don't be sexist.  Broads hate that.
Don't believe anything you read, especially taglines
Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
Don't blame Congress. With $600 Billion frugality leaves.
Don't drink and park; accidents cause people.
Don't drink and write taglines
Don't drink. You might shoot at tax collectors and miss.
Don't even think of putting a tagline here.
Don't feed the bats tonight.
Don't fight ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
Don't find faults, discovery remedies.
Don't follow this message too closely!
Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
Don't forget to close your eyes when reading a scary book
Don't give up the ship. Give up the captain.
Don't go surfing in South Dakota for a while.
Don't hate me, I'm just a tagline.
Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.
Don't hate yourself in the morning--sleep until 12:01.
Don't hit me!!  I'm in the Twilight Zone!!!
Don't hit me, Mr. Moderator... I'll go back on topic... I swear!
Don't judge a book by its mini-series.
Don't just read the Tagline; read the MESSAGE!
Don't keep doing things that can't work.
Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today.
Don't knock President Fillmore he kept us out of VietNam.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
Don't need a new religion, haven't used up the old one.
Don't Panic. Just push the Reset button.
Don't play "stupid" with me... I'm better at it.
Don't play stupid with me....I'm better at that also.
Don't question authority; it doesn't know either.
Don't regulate banks.  Help BCCI and Charlie Keating.
don't reply to inappropriate messages, leave SysOp do it.
Don't reply to inappropriate messages, left by SysOp.
Don't sell yourself short, your wisdom is worth 2 cents.
Don't shoot! I'm only the Casio player.
Don't stand between the dog and the fire hydrant
Don't steal my tagline....leggo....OUCH...give that back!
Don't steal.....Politicians hate competition.
Don't store garlic near other victuals.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Don't take taglines seriously... it's bad for your health
Don't think too far beyond your next meal.
Don't trust doctors, they once said you were sane.
Don't try to have the last word.  You might get it.
Don't underestimate the power of inflation.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Don't use a long word if a diminutive one will do.
Don't wait for your ship to come in, swim out to it.
Don't worry, I'm fluent in weirdo.
Don't worry.  We're on a mission from God.
Don't you feel that your salami is on the chopping block?
Don't you hate boring taglines?
Don't you hate it when life doesn't follow the manuals?
Don't you just hate days off?
Don't you just HATE explaining your taglines?
Don't you know where *your* towel is?
DOOM: (D)og-Slow (O)ver-Exaggerated (O)ver-Anticipated (M)oney Waster
DOS 6: Because there aren't enough problems in the world already.
DOS means never having to live hand-to-mouse.
DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename"...
DOS Viruscan initated -- Windows found: Delete?  (Y/y)
DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something...
Doubt is the root of education, not faith.
Down with categorical imperatives.
Down, down, down-d-d-download... la,la,la...
Drama in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater.
Draw your salary before spending it.
Drawing on my fine command of English, I said nothing.
Dream of a pure planet.
Dreams are composed from our successes and calamities.
Drilling for oil is boring.
Drink! for you know not whence you came, nor why.
Drive defensively, buy yourself a tank.
Drive defensively.  Buy a tank.
Drive not ready: (R)etry (G)o to Impulse (C)all Engineering
Drop carrier Immediately - but try not to break it.
Drop your carrier ... we have you surrounded!
Drop your weapons or the tagline gets it.
DS9's Runabout Policy--Crash all you want; we'll make more!
DUCT TAPE has a Dark Side, a Light Side, & binds the universe together
Due to inflation, all clouds will now be lined with zinc.
Dulce bellum inexpertis.
Dumb v2.0:  Upgrade from stupid.
Dying can be done as easily lying down.
Dynamic linking error: Your mistake is now everywhere.
E = mc    2 dB.
Each and everyone of you is entitled to my opinion.
Each of us contains an element of insanity.
Each young doctor means a new graveyard.
Early to rise and ditto to bed, makes you socially dead.
Earn cash in your spare time -- blackmail your friends.
Earth was interesting, and worth the money I paid for it.
Earth was not earth before her sons appeared.
Earth: A solid substance, much desired by the seasick.
Easily amused, and laughing about it.
East credit terms available. - Satan.
Easy as pie, no fuss, no muss, no crust.
Eat healthy, exercise daily, and die young anyway.
ebius tagline. This is a moebius tagline. This is a mo ..
Echo: Only thing that cheats some out of the last word.
EchoMail: A tagline distribution system
Edam is not a Dutch Cheese, it's "made" backwards.
Education which is not modern, faces the organic fate.
Education, not experience, comes from reading fine print.
Eeny Meeny, Jelly Beanie, spirits are about to speak.
Efficiency takes time.  Frugality: who can afford it?
Eggheads unite!  You have nothing to lose but your yolks.
Ein unntz Leben ist ein frher Tod.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Eldrad MUST live!
Electricians do it 'till it Hz.
Electronic publishing: What's my lino?
Electrons: What goes around comes around.
Elevators travel in groups.  Only one of them knows why.
Eliminate government waste no matter how much it costs.
Elvis hasn't left the building, he's just in the john.
Emanuel SwedenBorg: Conversion is irrelevant. Hell assimilates sinners.
Emergency repair procedure #1: Kick it.
Emotions are alien to me.I'm a scientist. --The Rani AND Dr. Forrester
Empty vessels make the most sound.
En boca cerrada no entran moscas.
Endocannibalism: The result of a really hungry cannibal.
Engineers do it by calculation and design.
Engraving is, in brief terms, the art of scratch.
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Enter any 12-digit prime number to continue.
Entropy isn't what it used to be.
Envy is thin because it bites, but never eats.
Epistle: What apostle's are always firing off.
Epitaph on a gravestone: Cheerio, see you soon.
Equality of the sexes leaves women standing on buses.
ERROR #0216: Tagline out of paper
ERROR #5716: Unable to come up with a new tagline
Error 19F: Out of taglines.
Error 216: Tagline out of paper..
ERROR 407: Program too idiotic.
Error finding COLD BEER. Sysop not loaded.
Error reading FAT Table.  Try Skinny one? (Y/N).
ERROR: COLDBEER.CAN not found! USER.SYS not loaded.
Error: No Keyboard: Press F1 to Continue.
Error:015 - Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
Errors show up in the duplicate while the Boss reads it.
Et in Arcadia ego.
Eternity may well be composed of a very deep silence.
Ethics is not necessarily the handmaiden of theology.
Evangelists do more than lay people, sometimes.
Eve had an Apple, Adam had a Wang...
Eve was the first woman to date a snake.
Even a cactus needs a little water now and then.
Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.
Even a lot of help at the wrong time adds up to nothing.
Even a noseless dog can stink.
Even a philosopher gets upset with a toothache.
Even hairless heiresses are always beautiful.
Even if you're paranoid maybe they're really after you.
Even moderation should be practiced in moderation
Even sliced VERY thin, baloney is never corned beef.
Even the blind can see money.
Even the boldest zebra fears a hungry lion.
Even the happiest of amoebae lack sexual organs.
Even the lion has to protect himself against flies.
Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
Even the Tsar can't see his face without a reflector.
Even though they call it pasta now, it's still spaghetti.
Even weeds have needs.
Even when you're running the world, you can't get off.
Events of importance often result from trivial causes.
Ever caught yourself reading taglines and skipping messages!
Ever notice that the AT&T Logo looks like the Death Star?
Ever post messages just to show off your TAGLINES..?
Ever since I gave up hope, I feel much better.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
Ever wonder why Oprah spelled backwards is Harpo?
Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
Every anarchist is a baffled dictator.
Every bicycle needs a fish.
Every child should be given the desire to learn.
Every crowd has a silver lining.
Every hard-boiled egg is yellow inside.
Every huge program has a small program trying to get out.
Every human comes equipped with a brain at no extra cost.
Every idiot believes that they are Cassandra.
Every noble work is at first impossible.
Every person constructs their own bed of nails.
Every person gets to heaven in their own way.
Every person is the architect of their own fortune.
Every person you meet knows something you don't. Learn.
Every politician has a price, some hold bargain sales.
Every purchase has its price.
Every solution breeds new problems.
Every sound ends in silence, but silence never dies.
Every Tagline's needed, in your neighborhood.
Every Tagline's Sacred. Every Tagline's Good.
Every time I have answers, someone changes questions.
Every time I lose weight, it finds me again.
Every time I think I know where it's at, they move it.
Every Titanic has its iceberg.
Every valuable idea offends someone.
Every why hath a wherefore.
Every woman should marry -- and no man.
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Everybody lies about sex.
Everybody likes a joker, but nobody loans him money.
Everybody must believe - I believe I'll have another beer
Everybody should believe: I believe I'll have a drink.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Everybody's a programmer, but who's WRITTEN anything?
Everyone as they loveth, some people kiss cows.
Everyone complains of memory, no one of judgment.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion without charge.
Everyone is gifted. but some open the package sooner.
Everyone lives by selling something.
Everyone meets their Waterloo at last.
Everyone should know where his towel is.
Everything bows to success, even grammar.
Everything changes except change itself.
Everything free is usually worth exactly what it cost.
Everything goes wrong all at once.
Everything in time is birth to some and death to others.
Everything is possible, but nothing of interest is easy.
Everything put together falls apart sooner or later.
Everything should be made as simple as necessary.
Everything starts in somebody's head as a daydream.
Everything that is not mandatory is forbidden.
Everything we put together falls apart sooner or later.
Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
Evil has been dealt a serious blow, but will return.
Evil is a hill.  We stand on ours, speak about others.
Excellence is to do a common thing in an uncommon way.
Excellent day for drinking heavily.  Spike water cooler.
Excellent day to have a rotten day.
Excellent time to become a missing person.
Excess is never enough.
Excuse me for butting in.  But, I'm interrupt-driven.
Excuse me, can you spare a tagline?
Execute program code from Write Only Memory.
Executive ability is prominent in your make-up.
Exercise daily.  Eat wisely.  Die anyway.
Expenditures tend to rise to surpass all income.
Expensive imported beer is good for the sole.
Experience varies directly with the equipment ruined.
Experience: what you get when you don't get what you want
EXPERT - Some unknown drip under pressure.
F r o m  the  s l o w  s p e a k e r s  o f  A m e r i c
f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmmng.
Facing the facts makes it hard to get up in the morning.
Fact of life #15: Heads bleed, walls don't.
Fact: fourteen out of every ten people like chocolate.
Facts are stubborn little bastards, be careful with them.
Facts, though interesting, are in my opinion irrelevant.
Facts, though interesting, are usually quite irrelevant.
Faint hearts never win in love nor sell life insurance.
Faith goes out through the window when beauty comes in.
Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
Faith will not die while seed catalogs are printed.
Fall, when trees change from Beatles to Yul Brynners.
Fame is proof that people are gullible.
Fame: Chiefly a matter of dying at the right moment.
Familiarity breeds contempt, don't forget children also.
Fanaticism: Redoubling effort when your aim is forgotten.
Fanny Hill was an 18th century call girl without a phone.
Far duller than a serpent's tooth to spend a quiet youth.
Farfignewton: German for "ergonomic cookie."
Farfrompoopin...German word for constipation.
Fartvergnugen.. the pleasure of breaking wind.
Fat heads, lean brains.
Fatal error stealing tagline! Call Technique Computers
Fault lies with systems not the technologies involved.
Fax me no questions, I'll Fax you no lies.
Fear is the tax that conscience pays to guilt.
Fear not, for I have given you authority.
Feather by feather the goose is plucked.
Feathers are so expensive now that DOWN is up.
Feature : BUG with seniority.
Features should be discovered, not documented.
Fer sail cheep, Windows spel chekker, wurks grate.
Ferengi DOS: Unprofitable command or file name.
Feudalism : It's your Count that votes.
Few of us can stand prosperity -- someone else's.
Few people know how to be old.
Few things are as painful to us as the truth.
Few things are painful as the truth realized too late.
Fibonacci Numbers: The mathematical explanation of life.
Fiction: It can't hold a scandal to biography.
Fiddle: Friction of a horse's tail on a cat's entrails.
Figures don't lie, but liars can figure.
File not found.  Delete *.* and change directory? (Y/N)_
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Finally, a post that's not about the 3DO or Jag!
Fine day for a good workout. Steal something heavy.
Fine day to throw a party.  Throw him as far as you can.
Fingers not found - Pound head on keyboard to continue.
Fire at will... NO WORF! Not Commander Riker!
Fire, Ready, Aim!
Firmness in politics is called obstinacy in a donkey.
First, draw the curve; then, plot the data.
Fishing is a delusion surrounded by liars in old clothes.
Fishing rod: a hook at one end, a fool at the other.
Flamers have uncontrollable vowel movements.
Flattery is counterfeit money, circulated by vanity.
Flattery really works: As you snow, so shall you reap.
Flattery: Cologne water, to smell but not swallow.
Floppy not responding, Format HARD DRIVE instead? Y/N.
Floppy not responding, format Sysop instead?
Florist: A petal pusher.
Fluoridate martinis: holes in your liver not your teeth.
Fold, spindle and mutilate, see if I give a damn.
Folks who have no vices have few virtues.
Follow your heart and let your head take care of itself.
Foolish fears drive away good fortune.
For a bug-free environment do NOT run this program.
For a real smoking pleasure, smoke Spotted Owl Cigars
For adult education, nothing beats children
For any action there is an equal and opposite criticizer.
For carnival we put masks over our masks.
For every battle honor, 1000 heroes die unknown
For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision.
For many, the declension of life is: I go, you go, ego.
For sale cheap:   Write-only memory chips.
For Sale:  Positronic Brain-Found near S.F.-Needs Work
For sale: Hourglass for timing Windows.
FOR SALE: Used Taglines.. $10.00 each. Only used a few times.
For some, reality is an illusion.
For some: know God & know peace/others: no God & no peace
For something you really want, the price is always high.
For the Snark *was* a Boojum, you see.
For those who like peace & quiet: a phoneless cord.
For true emotionlessless, Bernie Casey of Borg!
Forest Lawn is nice to visit, but nobody lives there.
Forests lovely, dark & deep ... I have promises to keep.
Forget  RTFM  - Call the author at home.
Forget *HIM* it's time to run a *HER* for president.
Forget whales, save Jupiter for when Earth is used up.
Forget your origin, always know where you're heading.
Forgive your enemies but never forget their faces
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Forgotten men at the bottom of the economic pyramid.
Fortune truly helps those who are of good judgment.
Fountains mingle with the river, rivers with the ocean.
Four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant and Microwavable!
Four out of five herrings that smoke get bagels.
Frankly my dear, I don't give a download. -Rhett Sysop.
Freddy Krueger at Tenagra. -Tamarian Horror Story
Freedom begins when you tell Mrs Grundy to go fly a kite.
Freedom is a hard-bought thing - A gift no man can give.
Friction is a drag.
Friend: Anyone who has the same enemies you have.
Friends come and go, but relatives tend to accumulate.
Friends don't let friends drive Fords.
Friends don't let friends use Windows.
Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your taglines!
Friendships are not always preserved in alcohol.
From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
From listening comes wisdom, from speaking, repentance.
From the Desk of the Happy Hacker...
Frugality: who can afford it?
Fun with Greek #4: Fee,  , fo, fum!
Funny how life imitates LSD.
Funny thing.... harder I work, luckier I get.
Future looks spotty. You will spill soup in late evening.
G.I. Series: A military baseball game.
Gagh, gagh, gagh, gagh...lovely gagh, wonderful gagh!
Garbage in, Gospel out.
Gee! And some jerk said my TAGLINES weren't real too....
Gee, I should have had another Cold Frosty Bud -Socrates.
Gee, I wonder what this key does.
Gee, Toto, I don't think we're in Windows anymore.
Gee, Ward, weren't you kind of hard on Beaver last night.
Gee... What's that ticking in the corner.
Geez, what did you do to my poor little tagline!?
Gen. Custer, can I be excused for this afternoon?
Gene Police: "Hey YOU! Get out of this pool."
Gene Roddenbery (1921-1991) Shakka, when the walls fell.
Genealogical fishing is done just for the halibut.
Genealogists believe they can always trace an ancestor.
Genealogists do it in the library.
Genealogy = A DNA square-dance in the Thighlight Zone
Genealogy. Tracing descent from someone who didn't.
Genealogy:  It's all relative in the end anyway.
Genealogy: Looking for bones in the closet.
Genealogy: tracing us back to the same brother & sister.
General Brain Failure.  (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (O)h.
General stupidity error reading drive C.
Generic Borg Tagline:Insert assimilation joke here [     ].
Generic Brown Label Tagline
Generic Industry Standard Tagline
Genetics: Why you look like your father, or should.
Genius: One who can do anything except earn a living.
Genuine Exploding Tagline.   Acme Tagline Inc.
George Bush of Borg..READ MY LIPS - NO NEW ASSIMILATIONS!
George Orwell was an optimist.
Georgia is on my mind.
German for constipation: Farfrompoopin'.
German word for bra:  stoppenzefloppen
Get a new lease on life, do you have the security deposit
Get a ROBONAP: Will sleep for you while you're online.
Get me some coffee and then ask me in ten minutes.
Get nowhere: Sit on your butt feeling sorry for yourself.
Get someone else to break the shrink wrap.
Get stoned!  Drink wet cement!
Get your exercise as a pallbearer for exercising friends.
Getting a second chance is never a certainty.
Gezundteit has a loose beginning.
Give a gift that keeps on giving  -- A female kitten.
Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
Give a small boy a hammer and everything needs pounding.
Give me patience .  RIGHT NOW.
Give me the luxuries, and to hell with the necessities.
Give the gift that keeps on giving; a female kitten.
Give the man a cigar.
Give them all they want, and all they will want is more.
Give up, you'll only live till you die.
GIVE: Support the helpless victims of computer error.
Glory may be fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Gnaw the bone which has fallen to thy lot.
Go ahead make my day, STEAL my TAGLINE.
Go ahead, back up to the RAM disk.  I dare you.
Go and catch a falling star...
Go soak your head, puny human.
Go straight to the docs.  Do not pass GO.  Do not collect $200!
Go to a nude beach. Keep abreast of developments.
Go to hell is the only answer a snooper's question rates.
God created man first, a rough draft, then a masterpiece.
God created people.  Samuel Colt made them all equal.
God dislikes money -- look who he gives it to.
God gave burdens shoulders also.
God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them.
God heals, but always someone else wants a fee.
God is a comic playing to an audience afraid to laugh.
God is real (unless He has an imaginary non-zero part).
God is real, unless declared integer.
God is subtle but he is not malicious.
God made everything out of nothing, but it shows through.
God made the first garden, Cain the first city.
God never imposes a duty without giving time to do it.
God said,  Let Newton be!  and all was light.
Golden Rule: she who has the gold makes the rules.
Golfer: A person who hits and lies.
Golly, Yogi, I don't think Mr. Ranger's gonna like this.
Good advice is an insult that should be forgiven.
Good advice is given when too old to set a bad example.
Good architecture takes on a life of its own.
Good cooking takes time.
Good day for a change of scene.  Repaper the bedroom wall
Good day for overcoming obstacles.  Try a steeplechase.
Good fortune at times seems to favor the stupid.
Good girls get Heaven; Bad girls, the world.
Good health will be yours for a long time.
Good is not good enough where better is expected.
Good luck is a lazy man's estimate of a worker's success.
Good manners are the lubricant of social intercourse.
Good memories are what your heart carries in its pockets.
Good news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor.
Good news: Ten weeks from Friday may be a pretty good day
Good night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.
Good printers do it without wrinkling the sheets.
Good tagline swiping is an art in itself.
Good taste is the flower of good sense.
Good thing about TAGLINE THEFT is you don't know who stole what
Good wine is a good familiar creature if it be well used.
Goodmail goes to recipients; BADMAIL goes EVERYWHERE!
Got kleptomania? Be sure to take something for it.
Gotta hide the phone bill from my wife.
Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer.
Government expands to absorb revenue and then some more.
Government should spend our money like it was their own.
Grammar, what big teeth you have.
Graveyards are full of the indispensable.
Gravity always wins.
Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks.
Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law.
Gravity:  Not just a good idea, it's the law.
Great men and women are not always idiots.
Great minds may at times think alike, if at all.
Greed is good, greed works.
Greetings from Hell....wish you were here.
Grippe:  A suitcase for carrying flu medicines.
Groucho Borg:  "That's the silliest thing I ever assimilated..."
Ground Beef -- A cow with no legs.
Grow your own dope...plant a politician!
Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
Gun Control is being able to hit your target.
Guns don't kill people  off-line readers do.
Gypsies, Thieves, Cutthroats, Administrators.
HaHaHa! Yuk, Yuk. Snort. Harumph.
Hail, hail, rock and roll.
Hairy fishnuts, anyone?
Half a loaf is surely much better than no vacation at all
Half Moon tonight -- its better than no Moon at all.
Halftoning is a gray area.
Halt and catch fire.
Hams do it with frequency, till their GIGAHERTZ.
Handle with care:  Elderly tagline.
Handwritten on a condom machine; "This gum tastes funny."
Hang up your logic over there.
Hangnail: A place to hang your coat and hat upon entering
Happiness can't buy money!
Happiness is a computer with a good sense of humor.
Happiness is a computer with a sense of humor.
Happiness is a growing tagline database.
Happiness is a positive cash flow.
Happiness is a QUALITY tagline database.
Happiness is mandatory....Are you happy?
Happiness is no laughing matter.
Happiness, like misery, is usually self-inflicted.
Happiness: a combination of good health and a bad memory.
Happiness: A sensation arising from misery of others.
Happiness: Lubbock, TX, in the rearview mirror.
Happiness: Seeing your MIL's picture on a milk carton
Happy as a hog eating cow manure -- well lick my lips!
Happy couple: A deaf husband and a blind wife.
Happy is the child whose father died rich.
Happy trails to you.
Hard work has a future payoff.  Laziness pays off now.
Hard work has never killed anyone, but why take a chance?
Hard work hasn't killed anyone yet, but why take a chance
Hardware:  The parts of a computer that can be kicked.
Hardware: This you kick. Software: This you corrupt.
HartnellDOS 1.0: (A)bort (R)etry (T)ug on Lapels
hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
Has anyone seen my sanity?
Has anyone seen my tagline?  I think someone stole it!!
Hasten to laugh at everything, or later you may weep.
Have a nice day.
Have an affair.  It will break up the monogamy.
Have sonic screwdriver, will fix.
Have stock?  Will broker.
Have the computer beep me, when it is ready.
Have tree, will climb - just as all my ancestors did.
Have you any Grey Poupon?
Have you had a significant new idea of your own lately?
Have you hugged your computer today?
Have you icked your Victor today? --FAB/VBSP slogan...
Have you seen my mind? It wandered again.
Have you seen my mind? It was wandering again.
Hawaii shorts: What a wallet has after a vacation there.
He bellows like a cow standing on her tit.
He cannot rule the great who cannot rule the small.
He compresses the most words into the smallest ideas.
He does the work of 3 Men...Moe, Larry & Curly
He has all the charm of a dirty Christmas card.
He has too many lice to feel an itch.
He hasn't a single redeeming vice.
He is a deeply superficial person.
He is a self-made man, and worships his creator.
He is a sheep in sheep's clothing.
He is diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.
He is not only dull within, but causes dullness without.
He is the most sensible looking man talking nonsense.
He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.
He isn't chicken, but they're naming salads after him.
He lived a good life, he had a good time. Amen.
he sad thing about Windows bashing is it's all true.
He says a thousand pleasant things, but never "Adieu."
He that deeply desires honor, is not usually worthy of it
He uses slugs to call Dial-A-Prayer.
He walks as if balancing the family tree on his nose.
He walks down Lover's Lane holding his own hand.
He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.
He was so crooked you could use him to pull corks with.
He wasn't his mother's favorite, and he was an only child
He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut.
He who attacks my ideas attacks democracy itself.
He who dies with the most of anything, is still dead.
He who dies with the most TAGLINES wins!
He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
He who fights & runs away will live to fight another day.
He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
He who hesitates at the wrong time is lunch for a shark.
He who hesitates is several miles from the next exit.
He who hesitates too long, must change his underwear.
He who laughs last is a little slow on the uptake.
He who laughs last probably doesn`t understand the joke.
He who laughs last probably made a backup.
He who laughs, lasts.
He who plants trees loves others he will never know.
He who talks too much commits a sin.
He who wakes up finding himself a success, hasn't slept.
He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder.
He wouldn't recognize subtlety if it hit them on the head
HE'S A CHICKEN I TELL YOU, A GIANT CHICKEN!!
He's a chip right off the old shoulder.
He's a few fries short of a Happy Meal.
He's dead Jim! You get his phaser, I got his wallet.
He's dead, Jim! And his boots would fit me just fine.. .
He's got a magnet!  Everybody BACKUP!
He's off-topic and there ain't no thread he's typing to.
He's such a good speaker, even a cough sounds read.
He's tan, he's rested.  Nixon in '92!
Heads will roll.
Health is the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Heartburn is the Justice Of Pizza in this area.
Hearts will never be practical 'til they're unbreakable.
Heaven allows glimpses only to those at a distance.
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned.
HEBREW - the **MANLY** beer!
Hell hath no fury like a demon scorched.
Hell, Heaven or Hoboken by Christmas.
Hello, I'm the Doctor and that is.. er, was my friend Adric.
Hellooooooo NURSE!!!
Help a swallow to land at Capistrano.
Help me look, Please? I've lost my damned innocence again
Help me quick!  Someone must have turned reality back on.
Help me, I'm stuck in here! - A Tagline.
Help stamp out vandalism, or I'll break all your windows.
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy.
Help!  I can't find the "ANY" key.
Help!  I'm a prisoner in a tagline factory!
Help! I've fallen and can't reach my beer.
Help! I've fallen and I can't get down! - James Brown
HELP! My computer has a virus and NAV and CPAV are stupid!
HELP! Protect America's children, soil, and water today.
Help!!  I am a prisoner in a Tagline Factory
Help.  I'm trapped at 0D1C:01DA.
Help. I've fallen and can't get up. A. Tree.
Here -  have a jelly baby!
Here comes Sanity, here comes Sanity, right down therapy lane.
Here I run, to steal the secret of the sun.
Here is further away than you think.
Here today, dawn tomorrow.
Here we are...born to be kings, we're the Filkers of the Fidonet!!!
Here's looking at you, kid.
Herman Hollerith is buried 9 edge, face down.
Hero-worship: Idol gossip.
Hex Dump:  Place for witches to get rid of used curses.
Hey ..... who took the cork off my lunch?
Hey ...... where are the taglines????? :}
Hey cool Beavis!! Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh
Hey everybody! Free taglines at Keith's place!
Hey la hey la! The Sysop's Back!
Hey man, you can't prove nothing.  I was at home.
Hey!  Are you stealing ALL my Taglines?
Hey! You stole MY Tagline!  THIS MEANS WAR!
Hey!!!!
Hey, Mr. Moderator, warn that guy for me.
Hey, Odo! Got anymore of that Jell-O in the fridge?  Odo?
Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.
Hey, wait, don't pick up that ph#{#!@#$%^&*()=.
Hey, what does this RESET butto
Hey. Don't pick up that pho            NO CARRIER.
Hey...there's somthing screwy going on around here.  -E. Fudd
HHeellpp.. II''mm ssttuucckk iinn hhaallff--dduupplleexx.
Hhhe who hhhessitates is lllost.
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's Nitro-9 we throw! - Ace & 7 dwarves
Hi! I'm a tagline virus! Join in and steal me!
Hi, I'm Cal, and I'm a tagline klepto...
Hi, my name is Rover, I'll paint your car yellow free.
Hi.  My name is Cal and I'm a Tagline Addict.
Hick: Looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
Hide when you bite your nails, or everyone will wonder.
Hindsight is the most exact of the sciences.
Hippo bunny two ewes!
Hire a teenager while they still know it all.
His face was filled with broken commandments.
History books which contain no lies are extremely dull.
History doesn't repeat itself. Historians do.
History is a lie commonly agreed upon. - Neitzche
History is made at night.
History repeats itself because nobody listens.
Hit and run means never having to say you're sorry.
Hm..what's this red button fo      NO CARRIER.
Hmmm, When is the last time the Tooth Fairy visited you?
Hmmm...Hastur, He who must not be named --oops$%*&# NO CARRIER
Hmmmm, now where did I put that tagline?
Hmmmmm.... never tried an atomic bomb before.
Ho to make a long story short: Forget the punch line.
Hobo: A person who builds palaces and lives in shacks.
Hoch yuchlIj HInob. (Give me all your chocolate!)
Hold It Right There.. Tagline Police!
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom.
Hollywood: A trip through a sewer in a glass bottom boat.
Holodeck designed by TARDIS Inc.
Holy Razorblades, Batman.  That was a close shave.
Home of the McTagline. Billions and Billions served
Home, to a young boy, is merely a filling station.
Homo sum; humani nihil a me alienum puto.
Honest Politician: One who stays bought.
Honest politicians once bought, stay bought.
Honesty is the best policy. Dishonesty is the second best policy.
Honesty pays, but not enough for some.
Honesty: Fear of being caught.
Honey in the mouth and knives in the heart.
Honey, it's post-partem...PUT DOWN THE MODEM.....
Honi soit qui mal y pense.
Hospital: A workshop for the repair of faulty humans.
Hospitals: Places where the run down wind up.
Hot air sometimes thaws out a cold reception.
Hot water heaters?    Hot water needs heating?
Hotel: A place you give good dollars for bad quarters.
How come I get all the hard questions?
How come men got nipples?
How come they call 'em APARTments when they're attached?
How could anything alter reality for $9.95?
How did I get round from eating square meals.
How dieth the wise man? As the fool.
How do frogs die? Ker-mit suicide.
How do I set my laser printer to stun?
How do women get mink?  The same way mink get mink.
How do you stun a Klingon? Give 'em the bill for all that ghak they ate.
How many Borg does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  All of the
How many Borgs to change a light bulb? Illumination is irrelevant.
How many sex-restricted jobs require a penis or a vagina?
How many times do you need to be tolled anyway?
How much memory have you got?  One brain, one memory.
How time flies, when you have a heap of problems.
How wise are they that are but fools in love.
How you look depends on where you go
How you look depends on who is looking.
howmanycharactersdoyouthinkyoucanfitintoonetaglineanyway?
Hug your kids at home and belt 'em in the car.
Hug: A roundabout way of expressing affection.
Human Being: An ingenious assembly of portable plumbing.
Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
Humans are animals in search of the ultimate orgasm.
Humans sin by both omission as well as commission.
Humble pie is always hard to swallow with your pride.
Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.
Humor always plays very close to the hot fire of truth.
Humpty Dumpty DOS - Just a shell of himself.
Hungarian food is OK if you like dog tartare.
Hunting is no fun when the rabbit has the gun.
Husband and wife plan fight.  TIFF at 11.
Hypertagline. . . er, tagtree?
Hypocrisy is the type of homage vice pays to virtue.
I  NEVER Read Taglines!  Do You?
i *DId* rEaD tHE DoCS; ThaT'S WHy I'm conFuSeD!
I ain't broke, but I'm badly bent.
I almost stole a tagline! I'm so ashamed!
I almost stole another tagline. I'm so ashamed.
I always did like climbing trees, is this genetic?
I always laugh at the wrong time.  At my own funeral....
I am a deeply superficial person.
I am a man more sinned against than sinning. - King Lear.
I am always exact and precise (more or less).
I am Andy Rooney of Borg. Ever wonder why resistance is futile?
I am as nervous as a tree on the Lassie show about that.
I am as poor as Job, but not so patient. - Shake.
I am Barney of Borg: You will be nauseated.
I am Burns of Borg. Smithers! Assimilate them!
I am Elmer of Borg, be vewy quiet, I'm assimilating wabbits.
I am Fourth Doctor of Borg.  Your jelly babies will be assimilated.
I am Fudd of Bowg. Wesistance is wusewess. Pwepawe to be Assimiwated.
I am Garfield of Borg - Hairballs are irrelevant..<HACK>..
I am Ginsu of Borg. You will be assimilated, but WAIT! There's MORE!
I am Hamlet of Borg: prepare to be, or not to be...
I am in total control, but please don't tell my wife.
I am just sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I am Locutus of Borg; your tagline will be assimilated!
I am Madonna of Borg:  Justify my assimilation!  ::pant::pant::
I am McCoy of Borg.  He's assimilated, Jim!
I am McCoy of Borg. I'm a Doctor, Not An Assimilator...
I am MODERATOR of BORG. Follow the rules or be assimilated.
I am Mr. Burns of Borg.  Smithers, assimilate him.
I am niether for nor against apathy.
I am NOT a computer nerd! I am a techno-weenie.
I am not a dictator.  It's just I have a grumpy face.
I am not a tagline.
I am not an alien from space reconnoitering this world.
I am not an animal!  I am what I am, but not an animal.
I am not arguing with you, I'm telling you.
I am NOT Paranoid! And why are you always watching me??
I am not young enough to know everything.
I am perfectly sane, and so am I.
I am Popeye of Borg. Prepares to be askimiligrated.
I am Potash of Borg. Your filk will be assimilated.
I am Slartibartfast of Borg, but my name is irrelevant.
I am Stephen King of Borg. You will be assimilated in a horrific way.
I am Stimpy of Borg. Your Powdered Toast will be assimilated.
I am Taz of Borg: RGGL FXZZ PTTHT!!!
I am the Master, and you will obey me. You will rehire Colin Baker...
I am the terror that posts in the night.
I am Tigger of Borg: A Tigger can assimilate anything.
I am tolerant of your fruitcake like beliefs.
I am Tweety of Borg.  I tawt I attimiwated a Puddy Tat!
I am who I pretend to be at that point in time and space.
I am, of course, any thinking woman's everyday fantasy.
I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
I BBS because no one can read my handwriting.
I be nibble, you be quick, he jump over the joystick.
I believe we're under attack, but I'm not too sure.
I bought dehydrated water...but I don't know what to add.
I bought powdered water, now I don't know what to add.
I call things as I see them; If I didn't see them, I make them up!
I came, I saw, I took LOTS of PICTURES!
I came, I saw, I vandalized your tagline!
I came.  I saw.  I stole Keith Scudder's tagline.
I came... I saw... I stole your tagline..
I came; I saw; I screwed up.
I can be decisive, I think.
I can resist anything but temptation.
I can resist everything except temptation.
I can resist everything/anything except temptation.
I can't - He can - what the hell, I'll let him do it.
I can't be overdrawn, I still have checks.
I can't be stupid, I completed third grade.
I can't believe I just bought a new hd for my taglines!
I can't believe I wrote that whole thing.
I can't decide between EDLIN and WordPerfect Six......
I can't stand burnt toast and I loathe bus stations. --The Doctor.
I can't think of a good TAGline - Bummer!
I can't use Windows.  My cat ate my mouse
I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!
I confess that I love Pooh and have never seen Beavis and Butthead.
I consider cake and ice-cream my just desserts.
I could buy a 3DO, or I could eat this year! Decisions, decisions...
I despise the pleasure of pleasing people whom I despise.
I didn't believe in reincarnation the last time, either.
I didn't do it, my modem did!<-----Tagline stolen from some kinky fool!
I didn't get the documentation for the manuals.
I didn't STEAL your tagline, Ken, I IMPROVED on it!
I didn't write this; a very complex macro did.
I distinctly remember forgetting that.
I do not pretend to know what the ignorant are sure of.
I don' gotta show you no steenking tag line.
I don't believe in miracles, I rely on them.
I don't eat snails.  I prefer fast food.
I don't have the time for a hobby.  I have a computer.
I don't have to look up my family tree. I'm the sap.
I don't just tempt fate - I give it the finger.
I don't know about ignorance and apathy.  Who cares?
I don't know how much more she'll take of this, Captain.
I don't know what it is, but it's in great condition.
I don't like broccoli either.
I don't need a warranty. I'll just take it back..
I don't read messages. I just look for Taglines.
I don't steal taglines, I redirect them to my hard drive.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
I don't think Mr. Ranger is going to like this, Yogi.
I don't want it now, I want it RIGHT now.
I don't want to be there when it's time for me to die.
I dreamed I met a Gallifreyan; a most amazing man...
I either want less corruption, a chance to participate.
I fear needing explanations of things explained.
I feel better than James Brown... how do you feel?
I feel more like I do now than I did a while ago.
I figured out what I was doing right, it doesn't anymore.
I finally got it all together, but forgot where I put it.
I give up. Push me that hollow log and I'll climb in.
I got a gun for my boyfriend. Pretty good trade, huh?
I got lost in thought, it was a very unfamiliar territory
I got lost in thought.  I was in unfamiliar territory.
I got lost in thought.  It was unfamiliar territory.
I greet you in the name of He Who Is Not to be Named.
I had a dislocated funny bone <OUCH> but it's better now.
I had a great tagline here, but Keith Scudder stole it..
I hate to repeat gossip, so I'll only say this once.
I have a 14.400 bps modem and 1.5 bps fingers.
I have a 9600bps modem and 1.5bps fingers.
I have a love-steal relationship with that tagline.
I have a really good memory, except it's short.
I have a rock garden.  Last week three of them died.
I have a vitally important role serving as a bad example.
I have lost my mind, but it must be backed-up somewhere.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I have only to look at the Graveyard to see that, milady. -6thDr.
I have seen the future, it is just an extended present.
I have seen the truth and it is a lie.
I have the simplest of tastes.  The best is satisfactory.
I have to admit.. this is a great tagline!.
I have to think twice before I give it a second thought.
I haven's lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere!
I haven't lost my mind.  It must be backed up somewhere.
I haven't lost the weight, it's right here behind me.
I hope I'm never out when my ship comes in.
I hope the moderator will join us, and the echo will be as one.
I hoping your as confusedly as I am about these things.
I improve on misquotation.
I just bought a cured ham.  Wonder what it had?
I just bought a new Hard Drive for my Taglines!
I just collect taglines, I don't analyze them!
I just escaped the twilight zone and fell into the 0zone.
I just found the last bug.
I Just got stopped by the LAPD and boy am I beat.
I just gotta write some new taglines...
I just read some light fiction: My income-tax return.
I just steal 'em, I don't explain 'em.
I just took an IQ test.  The results were negative.
I just work here.
I keep forgetting which is AC and which is DC.....
I keep my .BAT files in C:\BELFRY.
I kinda like the feel of a couple extra feet in my bed.
I know a bigamist who got that way using "New Math".
I know a good tag line when I steal one.
I know a good tagline when I steal it....
I know a good tagline when I steal one.
I know how fond of it you were. No, I didn't use it much anyway...
I know my boyfriend had sex before we met, but he didn't enjoy it!
I know nothing, I see nothing, I didn't wake up yet.
I know the answer, as long as you ask the right question.
I know why so many squirrels live in my family tree.
I left my tart in Aunt Fran's Crisco.
I like the 486 tower.  Does it come in red?
I like work.  I can sit and look at it for hours.
I loaded Windows and it slammed on my fingers!
I lost a button hole today.
I love standards, there are so many of them!
I may be stupid, that still makes me smarter than you.
I may have my faults, but being wrong ain't one of them.
I may have settled in shipping.
I may not be perfect, but I am all I got.
I may not be totally perfect, but some parts are OK.
I met a subliminal advertising exec but only for a second
I modem down, but dey grew back.
I multitask ... I read in the bathroom.
I must have slipped a disk -- my pack hurts.
I must of skipped a disk -- My pack hurts.
I mustanottagottalotta sleep last night.
I need a drink...where's the SPACE BAR?
I never knew lasers could be printed.
I never loved another person the way I loved myself.
I never met a Cardassian I didn't want to shoot. O'Brien as W. Rogers
I never met a chocolate I didn't like.
I never rise above the noise and confusion.
I notice that you stole one of my taglines tho....
I only shoot IBM's to put them out of their misery.
I only wrote the thing, I don't have to understand it.
I owe, I owe, so off to work I go.
I prefer my oysters fried.  Then I know my oysters died.
I promise not to let it happen again - until next time.
I quite drinking, smoking, and sex until I got bored.
I saw a light at the end of the tunnel - it was a train.
I saw a subliminal advertising executive for a second.
I see no humor here, I can only laugh at the thought.
I see you are performing up to your standards.
I see your 6 taglines and raise you 2.
I seem to be having problems with my lifestyle.
I seem to be hearing the sound of idle hands clapping.
I shot an arrow into the air, and it got stuck.
I shouted "Ol !" every time one was gored...
I sighed as a lover, I obeyed as a child.
I smell memory leakage.  Someone here is dozing.
I solved it! The chicken got hit while crossing the road!
I spent a month in Dallas one weekend
I spilled spot remover on my dog.  He's gone now.
I stayed up all night writing taglines.
I steal only quality taglines....!
I steal only the best taglines.
I steal taglines one at a time.
I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
I still miss my ex-wife - but my aim is improving.
I take no responsibility for that random tagline.
I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul.
I think ... therefore I am obviously overqualified.
I think I got it made & they throw something else at me.
I think I hear the herald of a New Tagline....nah, just a fart!
I think I think, therefore I think I am.  I think.
I think I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
I think I've got a headache, what do you think you have?
I think it needs more juice.
I think so, Brain, but burlap chafes me so.
I think so, Brain, but culottes have a tendancy to ride up so.
I think so, Brain, but isn't Regis Philbin already married?
I think so, Brain, but this time you wear the tutu.
I think that I'll stand up-wind, if you don't mind.
I think that I'm the friendliest guy in my zipcode.
I think, therefore I add Taglines. ...Often, they're YOURS!
I think, therefore I am (or am I?).
I think, therefore I am... I think.
I think, therefore, I am single.
I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
I tremble when I reflect that God is just.
I tried OS/2 once, but I didn't inhale.
I tried to drown my problems but they can swim!
I try to impress someone and always end on the short end.
I understand the answers, but all the questions throw me.
I understand the answers, the questions throw me.
I use coke.  Cherry, preferably, but Classic will do.
I use windows...on my car, on my house, but not on my.
I used to read books, now I read .QWK packets.
I used to read books.  Now I read .qwk files.
I vow to consider your idea fairly, before I reject it.
I want to be a procrastinator, but I kept putting it off.
I want to crash my runabout! --Kira sings filk...
I want to live with a synonym girl.
I was born agnostic, and I'll diagnostic...
I was changed into a tadpole.  I knew about metamorphosis
I was going to procrastinate, but I put it off.
I was just getting used to yesterday when tomorrow came.
I was on a roll, until I slipped on the butter.
I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.
I went on a non Dr. Who diet, it was the worst five minutes of my life!
I will defend to the death your right to my opinion!
I will not die before you do, you thunderous bulk! 6th Dr. companion.
I wish Adam had died with all his ribs in his body.
I wish I could come up with an original tagline.
I wonder what you would do if you were me, boy, hmm? -Castrovalva
I would strongly oppose apathy, if I cared.
I wouldn't touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole.
I [] My Dog. I [] My Cat.
I! AM! Kirk! of! Borg!: You! WILL! be! overacted!
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I'd like to live like a poor person with lots of money.
I'd love to, but I have left my body in my other clothes.
I'd love to, but my regeneration's starting...
I'd love to, but the Prime Directive forbids it.
I'd Say More But I've Run Out of Time & Space.
I'll have the Turtle Soup, and make it snappy.
I'll take 'Famous Taglines' for 1000, Alex.
I'll try anything once too often.
I'll worry about it tomorrow.
I'm a doctor, not a psychiatrist. � McCoy
I'm a hero with coward's legs.
I'm a modemer and I'm OK, I post all night and I sleep all day.
I'm a person of letters... unread collection notices.
I'm a pilot.  I pick it up here and pile it there.
I'm a thinker, I think, but I may be wrong.
I'm as innocent as a new-laid egg.
I'm as pure as the driven slush.
I'm Cthulhu of Borg, and you are in some SERIOUS trouble.
I'm doing this for your own good.
I'm feeling argumentative. Please contradict me.
I'm flexible..just don't change anything.
I'm from the government. I'm here to help you.
I'm Garfield of Borg: John is irrelevent, Odie is STUPID!
I'm human: nothing human smells strange to me.
I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it?
I'm in the computer business, I make Out-Of-Order signs.
I'm incredibly jealous, but still glad for you.
I'm just another blankity-blank BLANK.
I'm just doodlin' my life away...
I'm just here for moral support... ignore the gun...
I'm just needling you about the thread.
I'm just trying out this tagline. It's not registered yet
I'm lost somewhere in the ozone again.
I'm making this up as I go along.
I'm McMahon of Borg. You may already have been assimilated.
I'm miserable without you, it's like having you here.
I'm more humble than you are.
I'm much too young to feel this damned old. --Any Time Lord.
I'm not a D.J., but I play one on the radio.
I'm not broke, I'm `finacially challenged'.
I'm not confused, I'm just well-mixed.
I'm not crazy, I just don't give a &*$#.
I'm not fat! - just gravitationally challenged.
I'm not free, I'm not single, but I'm over 21. :)
I'm not messy, I just ran out of STACK space.
I'm not panicking.  I'm examining all options at high speed.
I'm not paranoid!  Which of my enemies told you this?
I'm NOT paranoid!  Which one of my enemies told you this?
I'm not schizophrenic, I'm multi-faceted.
I'm not tense, just terribly alert!
I'm not..no I am..no, I'm NOT indecisive. Am I?
I'm ok, it's the world that's screwed up.
I'm on a seafood diet.  I see food and I eat it.
I'm on the Brute Squad. No, you ARE the Brute Squad.
I'm on the trailing edge of technology.
I'm perfect by necessity, it isn't honest to be modest.
I'm probably overlooking the obvious again...
I'm so bored, I'm starting to miss my boyfriend.
I'm so bored, I'm starting to miss my husband.
I'm sorry. Was I rambling again?
I'm still the same old Dax, more or less. - Dax
I'm sure it's clearly explained in the Zmodem DOC's.
I'm sure we can talk things out like uncivilized people.
I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid you're just a mirage.
I'm the NRA, and if I can't vote twice, I'll shoot you.
I'm tired of thinking up new taglines
I'm too stupid to know what I'm involved in.
I'm totally unprepared for everyday life.
I'm user friendly, I don't byte -- I snap.
I'm wearing boxer shorts & I know how to use them.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
I'm your magnificent user!!!
I've "adopted" so many taglines [mostly yours... :-
I've given up reading books. It takes my mind off myself.
I've got a BEER attitude.
I've got a mind like a... a... what's that thing called?
I've got too many hands on my time.
I've had a difficult past few lives.
I've had BETA days ... and nights.
I've never liked morticians, all they want is my body.
I've seen better conversations in alphabet soup.
I've seen the procedure hundreds of times. - Qwark
I've told you a million times not to exaggerate.
I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate.
I've used this particular tagline 346 times.
I-BM, U-BM, We all BM for IBM
I/O  I/O  IT'S WRITE TO DISK I GO  I/O  I/O.
IBM at times means (I)ncredibly (B)otched (M)achines.
IBM Marketing, well, it's IBM Marketing!
Ideals kill politicians, and politicians kill ideals.
Ideas may be whole- left- right- or no-brained.
Identify chromosomes: Take down their genes and look.
Idling is most joyful when there is plenty of work to do.
if (program == crippleware)  bit-bucket(program).
If 4 bits = a nibble; 8 = a byte, doesn't 16 = a mouthful
If A = B and B = C, then A = C, except where void.
If a man understands one woman he should let it go at
If a problem has a single neck, it is a simple solution.
If a string has one end, then it has another end.
if a stud cat gets fixed, its broken...
If a tree fell on a florist, would he make a sound?
If all papers were smart enough, they would be currency.
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
If Anthony Hopkins starred in DS9's "Duet": "_Thank_ you, Neryssss."
If anyone approaches with intent of doing you good, run.
If at 1st you don't succeed, call it Ver. 1
If at first you don't exceed, try, try again.
If at first you don't succeed, Beat the living shit out of them...
If at first you don't succeed, call it Windows NT.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence.
If at first you don't succeed, don't be foolish, give up.
If at first you don't succeed, fall back and punt.
If at first you don't succeed, Format C:
If at first you don't succeed, re-format.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
If at first you don't succeed, try something else.
If at first you don't succeed, try the reset button.
If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft.
If at first you don't succeed, you can always emulate me.
If at first you don't succeed, you're doing average.
If at first you don't succeed; Blame everyone else.
If at first you don't suceed, you're about normal.
If at first you doubt, doubt again.
If at first you never succeed, never try Russian roulette
If crash occurs when using this program, discontinue use.
If dolphins are so smart, why did Flipper work for TV?
If DOS was an airline, would you purchase a ticket?
If E=MC^2, why is there always room for Jello?
If everybody knows such-and-such, then it just ain't so.
If everyone  thinks alike then somebody isn't thinking.
If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.
If facts do not conform to the theory, dispose of them.
If God had meant for us to be naked, we would be so born.
If God is all knowing, can He understand DSZ docs?
If God is perfect, why do discontinuous functions exist?
If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.
If he were at the Last Supper, he'd worry about calories.
If I could be respected and not have to be respectable.
If I could light this thing I'd send up smoke signals.
If I could write great taglines, I wouldn't steal YOURS
If I die, I forgive you, if I recover, we shall see.
If I don't enforce it, who will know good from evil?
If I feel like exercise, I lie down until it passes.
IF I had to do it over again, it would be without TV.
If I had two dead mousies, I'd give you one.
If I have no mouth but I must scream what should I do?
If I invested in GM, it would be busted to Corporal.
If I save the whales, where do I keep them?
If I think I am right, I am right until proven wrong..
If I thriw a cat out the car window, is it kitty litter?
If I wanted your opinion I would give it to you.
If I were here more often, I wouldn't be gone so much.
If I were really two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
If I were you, who'd be me?
If I'd miss you when you're gone - would you leave now?
If it ain't borken, don't fix it.
If it ain't broke, always try to fix it anyway.
If it ain't broke, try installing something else.
If it ain't broken yet, please let me have a shot at it.
If it ain't cooked, don't serve it.
If it breaks make it bigger, if it sticks out chrome it.
If it feels good .... Do It.
If it is not there, it must be here, or it doesn't exist.
If it isn't true, at least it is a happy invention.
If it jams -- force it.  It needed replacing anyway.
If it screams, it's best not to eat it.
If it screams, it's not food, yet....
If it was easy, they'd send someone else.
If it wasn't for C, we would be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL!
If it wasn't for our lungs there wouldn't room for smog.
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
If it weren't for C, we'd be using PASAL, BASI and OBOL.
If it works perfectly, there's something wrong.
If it works, Don't fix it: Unless you are a consultant.
If it works, it must be obsolete.
If it works; always tear it apart and find out why.
If it's more than you need, it's greed.
If it's not on fire, it's a software problem.
If it's not true, it's quite easily found.
If it's not worth doing, it's not worth doing well.
If it's really tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
If it's tourist season, where do I get a license?
If its Tourist Season, why can't we shoot 'em ???
If life is a highway... What's the Queensway?
If life is just a bowl of cherries, throwing pits is OK.
If life's a stage, I want better lighting.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If Mother Nature were smart she'd have leaves fall up.
If nobody measures up, it's time to check your yardstick.
If not the problem, are you part of the solution?
If Old MacDonald had a computer, it uses Eee-aye-eee I/O.
If only AT&T knew what I was do�2�O�:���b�� NO CARRIER
If our behavior is strict, we do not need fun!
If people listened to themselves, they would shut up.
If picketing didn't exist some kids would never exercise.
If reality wants to reach me, it knows where I am.
If sex were fast food, you'd have an arch over your head.
If she returns from the john, will I be too old to care?
If Speed Kills then Windoze users must be Immortal!
If speed scares you, use Windows.
If stupidity had survival value, he would live forever.
IF Tagline = 'STOLEN' THEN; Insult(Thief); ENDI
If the cops throw a net over me, am I legally in seine?
If the family skeleton must remain, make it dance.
If the GOOD die young,  I wonder why I am still here.
If the people lead, the leaders will follow.
If there is an obvious solution it is always obvious.
If there is no Moderator, who pops up the next tagline?
If things improve with age, I'm nearly magnificent.
If this is a battle, then you have already lost.
If this is tourist season, why can't I shoot any?
If this tagline is funny, it came from the Bulletin Broad
If this were an actual tagline, it could be funny.
If this were an actual tagline, it would be funny.
If this were an actual tagline, it _might_ be funny.
If this were funny, it'd be a tagline.
If thou is a artist, how does one grasp your art?
If three people say you are an ass, put on a bridle.
If U look close enough, the truth is hidden in the words.
If vegetarians eat vegetables,..beware of humanitarians!
If voting changed anything it'd be illegal.
If voting changed anything, it would be made illegal.
If we learn from losing, we become winners in the end.
If winning isn't important then why keep score?
If wishes were horses, horses would ride.
If wishes were money, beggars would be choosers.
If worst comes to worst, you *CAN* turn most things off.
If you always postpone pleasure you will never have it.
If you are afraid of being lonely, don't try to be right.
If you aren't part of a solution, you are a precipitate.
If you believe your own demagoguery, you have a problem.
If you bow at all, bow low.
If you can read this tagline, you're 2 close!
If you can read this, my cloaking device is on the fritz.
If you can touch it and you can see it, it's real.
If you can't beat them, join them!!!!!!!!!
If you can't bite, don't try to show your teeth.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
If you can't dazzle with dexterity, feed them a crock.
If you can't laugh at yourself, try laughing at others.
If you can't learn to do it well, enjoy doing it badly.
If you can't make it good, make it big.
If you can't make it work, make a statistic of it.
If you can't say something nice, sit by me!
If you can't speak softly, just use the stick.
If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
If you can't stay healthy, find a sickness you like.
If you can't take the HEAT stay the HELL outta the FURNACE!!!!
If you can't think of a tagline, steal one! (like I do!)
If you can't think of a tagline, steal these! (like I did!)
If you can't win fair, win foul.
If you cannot catch a bird of paradise, grab a wet hen.
If you continually give you will continually have.
If you didn't vote, no complaints about who's in or out.
If you do drink and drive you might as well smoke too.
If you do nothing, how do you know when you're finished?
If you don't care where you are, then you can't get lost.
If you don't eat garlic, they'll never smell it on you.
If you don't fall down, you're not trying.
If you drink and drive, you might as well smoke also.
If you drink, don't drive.  Don't even putt.
If you ever have an idea, try to go with it.
If you explain so that nobody misunderstands, some will.
If you find it, it is always in the last place you look.
If you hear an Onion ring, please answer it!
If you hold a hard drive to your ear, you can hear the C:
If you knew what you're talking about, you'd be dangerous
If you know the spelling of a word, you will err anyway.
If you learn from mistakes, you will learn a lot today.
If you lie to the computer, it will get you in the end.
If you like this one, wait until you hear my next story.
If you listen to fools the mob rules.
If you make a mistake, fix it to the best of your ability
If you mess with anything enough it will surely break.
If you NEED to count your money, you're not really rich.
If you play with anything long enough it will break.
If you prick me; do I not.... leak? -Data
If you pull the wings off a fly, does it become a walk?
If you push something hard enough, it will fall over.
If you search for the unknown, expect to be surprised.
If you smoke after sex, then you're doing it too fast.
If you steala this tagline I breaka your keyboard!
If you take away the fuel, in time the flames will die.
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
If you think nobody cares, miss a couple of payments.
If you throw mud,  you will have dirty hands.
If you try to be too sharp, you will cut yourself.
If you want it done right, forget Microsoft.
If you want my advice, pay me.
If you want someone to keep a secret, keep it yourself.
If you want the last word with a woman, apologize.
If you want to hide your face, walk naked.
If you wish to succeed, consult three old people.
If you would keep a secret from an enemy, tell nobody.
If you're feeling good, don't worry.  You'll get over it.
If you're really a police dog, where's your badge?
If you're too old to learn, you were born so.
If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're upside down
If your message arrives late, you keep the tagline as our free gift!
If your mind goes blank, remember to turn down the sound.
If your ship doesn't come in, it's time you swim out.
If your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
If youth only had a chance or old age any brains.
Ifyoucanreadthis,youspendtoomuchtimefiguringouttaglines.
Ignorance and dogmatism are lovers growing hand-in-hand.
Ignorance is temporary; stupid is forever.
Ignorance is the mother of superstition.
Ignore your health and it will go away.
Illegal aliens are an American problem.  Ask any Indian.
Illiterate?  Write for free help.
Illustrate your Sermons! Wear far side ties.
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
Imagination without learning is having wings but no feet.
Imagine all the modems, linking all the world! (ooh ooh hoo)
Imagine no BBS's.  I wonder if you can?
Imagine the silence if everyone said only what they know.
Imelda Marcos: "If any shoe fits, buy it."
Important letters develop errors in the mail.
In a family argument, if you are right apologize at once.
In a nuclear war, all men will be cremated equal.
In an atomic war, all men are cremated equally.
In an atomic war, all men will be cremated equal.
In Canada, even the female impersonators are women.
In case of atomic attack, prayer in schools will be OK.
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
In Chicago it is important to vote early and often.
In data, the figure most obviously correct, is an error.
In DOS we trust.
In economics, the majority is almost always wrong.
In England there are 60 religions and 1 sauce.
In ENGLISH, Data?! --Captain Beverly Picard
In fashion be a reed in the wind.
In gambling and life if you don't play, you never win.
In God we trust, all others we monitor.
In God we trust, you pay in gold.
In God we trust: All others we voice verify.
In human history, most leaders prove to be good bleeders.
In making decisions, recall that the trend is a friend.
In principles be a rock in the stream.
In space, lemmings have to shoot themselves.
In Space, no one can hear you filk.
In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.
In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
In the echo, the mighty echo, the moderator screams tonight...
In the echoes, you can remember your name...
In the end gravity always wins. - Dolly Parton.
In the jingle-jangle modem, I'll come moderate you.
In the long run, we're all dead.
In this world a man must either be anvil or hammer.
In war and life, either fight to win or don't fight.
In war there is no substitute for victory.
Inane tagline found.  Abort, Retry, Swipe a better one.
Incest gets you involved with relatives.
Incongruous - Where laws are made.
Incorrigible punster -- do not incorrige.
Indecision is the only key to flexibility.
Indiscriminate study bloats the mind.
INE Do Not Cross! - TAGLINE Do Not Cross! - TAGL
IneedsignificantlymoreroominthislineforwhatIwanttosay.
Infinity is a self-canceling thought form.
Inflation is a result of legalized counterfeiting.
Inflation is when the buck doesn't stop anywhere.
Information is hard to get. Using it is even harder.
Innocent as a newborn alligator!
Innuendo = an Italian suppository.
Innuendo can be fun.
Inquiring minds want to know.
Insert Witty Tagline Here ...
Instant Human: Just add caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine.
Instinct is intelligence incapable of self-consciousness.
Insufficient disk space, abandon all hope here and now.
Interchangeable parts never will.
International Brotherhood of Tagline Thieves..
Internet Lie #1: Doom?  Never heard of it.
Internet Lie #2: The Internet is simple and easy to use.
Internet Lie #3: Who needs moderators? FIDONET is too uptight.
Internet Lie #4: People on the Internet are more mature.
Iraq shot down 38 Patriot Missiles with their SCUDS.
Iraqi Rifle for sale!! Never fired but was dropped once!
Iron sharpens iron; scholar, the scholar.
Irony: Giving father a billfold for Christmas.
Irregular verbs are on sale in the bargain basement.
Irregularity: Someone who comes to work late.
IRS: How much did you make last year?  Please remit same.
Is "Artery"  The study of fine paintings?
Is "Lord of the Flies" about the invention of the zipper?
Is "Sue" a noun or a verb?
Is a  PC a symbol of Immaculate Contraption?
Is a "stackedwurst" a German girl measuring 38-24-36?
Is a hippie haircut an example of the lunatic fringe?
Is a Jamaican terminal a Rastafarian?
Is a proofreader a blooper snooper?
Is a prostate operation called a "lowbotomy?"
Is a tagline really a tagline if no one is there to read it?
Is a WATCH OUT FOR CHILDREN sign a birth control ad?
Is Australia really down under, or are we upside down?
Is evil a child of the nature or nurture of the beast?
Is it 'Flow Control' or 'wolF lortnoC'
Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one?
Is it me, or is 9600 starting to seem slow?
Is it OK to yell 'MOVIE' in a crowded firehouse?
Is it progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork?
Is relativism the only absolute?
Is roughing it cutting a filet mignon with a dull knife?
Is someone trying to tell you something?
Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat?
Is this as much fun as you can have with your clothes on?
Is this drive really moving with my head parked?
Is this Heaven... No. Smell, its Iowa.
Is This Where a "Tagline" Goes?
Is this... Death? --The Doctor
Is wetter REALLY better?
Isn't it about time you backed up your system?
Isn't it nice that egotists don't talk about other people
Isn't there a statute of limitations on stupidity?
It ain't over 'til you read the tagline!
It ain't over till it's over and Roseanne Barr sings.
It all hinges on your definition of 'a good time'.
It always rains right after I wax philosophical.
It doesn't help to curse the darkness.
It doesn't matter if you win, it's the point spread.
It doesn't work, but it looks pretty.
It felt good to be on-line again...
It has been discovered: research causes cancer in rats.
It is a rather pleasant to be alone in a bank at night.
It is a sin peculiar to people to hate their victims.
It is always easier to destroy than to create.
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
It is better to burn out than to fade away.
It is better to copulate seldom rather than never.
It is better to kiss an avocado than to kiss an aardvark.
It is better to know useless things than nothing.
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
It is dangerous to confuse children with angels.
It is double pleasure to deceive the deceiver.
It is easier to admire hard work if you don't do it.
It is easier to catch flies with honey than with vinegar.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
It is easier to run down a hill than up one.
It is easy to be wise after the event.
It is easy to propose impossible remedies.
It is Fortune, not wisdom that rules man's life.
It is hard to believe that even his friends like him.
It is hard to discern when enough is enough + / = / - .
It is hereditary in my family to have no children.
It is meaningless to speak of domesticating a child.
It is not enough to succeed.  Others must fail.
It is not only fine feathers that make fine birds.
It is possible to smell after you stop breathing.
It is so much better to live rich than to die rich.
It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
It is when you take for yourself that you truly take.
It isn't a dance, it's a fertility rite with lyrics.
It isn't easy being green.
It looks like an optical illusion, but it isn't.
It matters not if you win or lose, it is what I do.
It never rains but it pours.
It runs in the blood like wooden legs.
It said "Insert Disk #3," but only two will fit!
It sounds like you enjoy looking forward to yesterday.
It stinks more every time you run over a skunk..
It takes a long word to retard spoilage.
It takes a lot of RAM to make your floppy spin...
It takes about 10 years to get used to how old you are.
It takes two to make a bargain.
It usually takes weeks to prepare an impromptu speech.
It was a dark and stormy byte.
It was a dark and stormy night.
It was a night like this, 40 million years ago.
It was great when it all began, I was a regular Tagline Fan.
It was so cold, I almost got married.
It was supposed to be so easy.
It will be done on time, if I can find the time.
It works better if you plug it in *AND THEN* turn it on.
It works for me.
It's 11:56 pm. Do you know where your modem is?
It's 5PM and I'm all out of pithy things to say.
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
It's a dog-eat-dog world, don't wear MilkBone underwear.
It's a fine line between fishing & standing still.
It's a P.C. Cake.
It's a poor cook who cannot lick his own fingers.
It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.
It's a poor workman who blames his tools.
It's a simple choice: Life, Death, or Los Angeles.
It's a tragedy that no man becomes like his mother.
It's all a matter of taste.
It's all over? Is that what you said? --10th Planet
It's always darkest before you step on the cat.
It's amazing how mature wisdom resembles being tired.
It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
It's been nice meeting you, and nicer to see you leave.
It's better the world wonder why you *AREN'T* President.
It's better to have a lobster on your piano than a crab on your organ.
It's certainly not my fault, I barely touched it.
It's easier to curse the candle than light the darkness.
It's easier to love all humanity than some neighbors.
It's easy to make a friend, hard to make a stranger.
It's enough to write text. You want a tagline too?
It's hard to be humble when you're having so much fun.
It's hard to believe it, but some teens are humans.
It's kinda fun to consummate the impossible.
It's love that makes the world go round.
It's morally wrong to let a sucker keep his money.
It's my pen name, oh! Pseu, Pseu, Pseudonym!
It's my personal idea because I stole it first.
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
It's nice that people who love L.A. live there.
It's nice to be liked just the way you are.
It's nobody's business, not even mine.
It's not a Bug, it's a hidden and seldom used feature.
It's not a STOLEN tagline--it's just "previously viewed".
It's not crippled, it's functionally challenged!
It's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.
It's not if you win or lose. It's placing the blame.
It's not me,  it's just the way they dress me.
It's not often I'm right, but I'm wrong this time.
It's not over til you read the tagline!
It's not over until the FAT table sings.
It's not the excellency that counts, its the brains!!!
It's nothing to get hung about; strawberry taglines forever
It's often cheaper to be forgotten than remembered.
It's OK to wear the same thing every day: a smile.
It's okay to call someone stupid; just don't prove it.
It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a
It's only a tagline.... only a tagline... only a tagl...
It's so bad, it may turn my hair dark.
It's stupid to continue doing what doesn't work.
It's the end, but the moment has been prepared for.
It's the kind of thing that makes people go "Hmmmmmm.."
It's time for me to add new taglines.....
It's time for TRILL!  The game show where YOU'RE the host!
It's what inside you, not the outside that counts.
It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.
It's who you look like......Not who you are.
It's, it's, it's a Dalek Attack! --F. Mercury as a Whovian
Its hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember a thing.
Its my tagline! I stole it first.
Its not the size of the ship, its the size of the waves.
Its not the thing you fling, its the fling itself.
Itsdifficulttobeverycreativewithonlyfiftysevencharacters
It`s clever, but is it art?
Ivo Andric - Yugoslavia's First Nobel Laureate.
Ivy covered professors, in ivy covered halls.
J'suis le Grand Zombie.
J. Edgar Hoover slept with a night light on all night.
James Dixon, his mind closed, his mouth open.
Japanese tagline #1: Kora wa hon desu...
Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
Jesus SAVES! Passes to Moses. He shoots! Scores!
Jesus Saves, Johnson scores on the rebound.
Jesus Saves..... passes to Moses..shoots..SCORES!
Jimi Hendrex's modem was a Purple Hayes.
Jimmy Hoffa is buried here ------> X
Johnson & Johnson Tagline: ����۰��������� "ouch!"
Join hands across the seas.  Stop continental drift.
Join Taglines Anonymous.  We can help.
Join the army, meet interesting people, kill them.
Join the War on Puberty, eliminate juvenile delinquency.
Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.
Judge not a carpenter on how fast the chips fly.
Judge not, lest ye be judged incompetent by the world.
Judicial reform is no sport for the short-winded.
Julian & Jadzia's Nuptials: Married... With Symbiont.
Junk - stuff we throw away.  Stuff - junk we keep.
Junk will accumulate to overflow space provided for it.
Jury: A group chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
Jury: Twelve people too dumb t get out of jury duty.
Just 3 points- WHERE am I, WHO am I, & who're YOU? The Rani! --7th Dr.
Just another dull moment in TAGLINES.MR
Just another wrinkle in the fabric of Time.
Just cannot resist a little fun along the way.  :-)
Just got a new big screen TV for my boyfriend...GREAT TRADE!
Just got a new car for my boyfriend...GREAT TRADE!
Just got a new car for my wife... Great trade.
Just got a new computer for my boyfriend...GREAT TRADE!
Just got a new house for my boyfriend...GREAT TRADE!
Just got a new pool table for my boyfriend...GREAT TRADE!
Just got a new truck for my boyfriend...GREAT TRADE!
Just listen to those old diodes slam dancing.
Just moving fast is not the same as getting somewhere.
Just my opinion (But I'm right).
Just remember:  when in doubt, you're always right.
Just say "NO!" to STAR TREK taglines!!
Just say you *borrowed* the taglines.
Just send my paycheck to MasterCard or VISA.
Just tell the tagline police you were making backups.
Just think - in German, "Tag" means "day".
Just want to add my two cents worth, for what it's worth.
Just when I make ends meet, someone moves one end.
Just when I've found the answer, you change the question.
Just when you think it's hopelessly broken, it works.
Justice delayed is justice denied.
Justice is dispensed with sometimes in the court system.
Justice is incidental to law and order.
Justice: A decision in your favor.
Keep cool, stand in front of an open refrigerator.
Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.
Keep grandma off the streets -- legalize bingo.
Keep hands off the secretary's reproducing equipment.
Keep one foot in the past when searching for the future.
Keep your eyes open before marriage, half-shut afterwards
Keith Scudder has been caught stealing taglines again.
Keith, you forgot the bloomin' TAGLINE.
KENNEDY COMPOUND -KEEP OUT- TRESPASSERS MAY BE VIOLATED!
Kernel panic: Nut lose in operator's chair.
KEYBOARD - Hardware used to enter errors into a computer.
Keyboard not connected, press <F1> to continue.
Kibitzer: A person with an interferiority complex.
Kids? Who said anything about kids?
Kill all lawyers
Kin:  An affliction of the blood.
Kindergarten Rules: Be kind. Be safe. Be protective.
Kira loves this Vedek guy-- I'll say he's a PATHETIC guy! -VBSP/FAB
Kiss my ASCII.
Kleenex Von Trapp: The Sound of Mucous.
Kleptomaniac: A rich thief.
Klingon Standup Comic:   "LAUGH!  NOW!!!"
Klingons who have no honor...on the next Oprah.
Know when to fight and when to run.
Knowledge rests not on truth alone, but upon error also.
KPLA Klingon Radio : All glory, all the time!
Lack of planning does not constitute an emergency.
Lady with chastity belt is not having a ball.
LAMA=priest.  LLAMA=beast.  LLLAMA=conflagration.
Language is a human virus from outer space.
Lasciate ogni speranza voi ch'entrate.
Last week I even forgot how to ride a bicycle.
Latest conspiracy theory:  Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
Laughter is the best lubricant for life's engine.
Laundry: A place where clothes are mangled.
Law of Supply: It's yours if you don't need nor want it.
Law of Window Cleaning:  It's always on the other side.
Laws are like sausages, it is better to not see them made
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.
Lawyers: the larval form of politicians.
Le mieux est l'ennemi du bien.
Lead me not to temptation, I enjoy finding it myself.
Leakproof seals, will. Quiet toilets, aren't.
Lean books are often larded with fat of others' works.
Learning makes people fit company for themselves.
Learning without thought is labor lost.
Left lane must turn right.
Legal marijuana needs true glaucoma patients.
Leisure is the mother of philosophy.
Lend money to a bad debtor and he will hate you.
Length of an average blink: 0.1 second.
Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
Let art alone. She's got enough guys sleeping with her.
Let he who takes a Monday plunge return it by Tuesday.
Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it.
Let length(walk) > length(pier)
Let me know if this message doesn't get through to you.
Let me out of here fast. TRON is catching up.
Let no good deed go unpunished.
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Let the rain fall, and fall, and fall.
Let your mouth write no check that your tail can't cash.
Let's all vote for the all night party.
Let's have a little fun, let's do a pun.
Let's see your tagline hunting permit, Keith!
Let's see your tagline hunting permit, sir.
Let's win this one and go home.
Lets keep genealogy vital.
Life can be profitable, if you know the odds.
Life has a great deal up its sleeve.
Life has a lot of undocumented features.
Life is a bowl of cherries, there's always a few pits.
Life is a cabaret, old Chum.
Life is a kind of trick.
Life is a series of rude awakenings.
Life is a tragedy for feelers and a comedy for thinkers.
Life is a yo-yo, and mankind ties knots in the string.
Life is an onion and each one peels it crying.
Life is full of little surprises. - Pandora.
Life is hard - and even harder when you're not stupid.
Life is just a bowl of chili, but no beans for you.
Life is just one BIG beta test cycle
Life is like Jazz, it should be improvised.
Life is like......an analogy.
Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards.
Life is much easier if you look at the source code.
Life is not a spectacle or a feast, it is a predicament.
Life is one long process of getting tired.
Life is something that happens when you can't sleep.
Life is still in Beta test.
Life is to you a dashing and bold adventure.
Life is too important to ever take seriously.
Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.
Life is unsure, always eat your dessert first.
Life is...life is...life is...life is a kumquat.
Life might be easier if we had the source code.
Life would be so very easy if we only had the source code
Life!  Can't live with it, can't live without it.
Life's a b*tch and then FIDO eats your mail packet.
Life's a beach and still you always marry one.
Life's a bitch, time's a bastard, and death finishes it.
Life's a virgin.  Bitches are easy!
Life's too short for chess.
Life: Too many questions, too few answers.
Life: You peel layer after layer, you find nothing in it.
Like Entropy, bugs can only be created, not destroyed.
Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone.
Limit Congressmen to 2 terms.. 1 in Congress 1 in Jail!
Line noise provided by South Central Bell, Isnt it the greatest?
Line noise provided by your local telephone company.
Line noise?  What fh=.hElL is.LinS nfise?
Listen to the rhythm of crashing hard drives.
Little boats should keep near the shore.
Little pitchers have wide ears.
Live better, electrically.
Live from the TARDIS! It's the Control Room!
Live so that the family parrot can live afterwards.
Live: Know the past, help the present, touch the future.
Living in the fast lane gets you to the other end rapidly
Living on earth is better than loafing around Hades.
Living: The best demonstration of victory over mortality.
Load PICARD.COM? (M)ake it so (B)elay that order
Lock and Load. These fingers have just begun to type.
Locutous for Pontiac: Excitment is irrelivent.
Logic is a little tweeting bird chirping in the lea..
Logic is a wreath of pretty flowers with a very bad odor.
Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence.
Logic is in the eye of the logician.
Logic is logic. That's all I say.
Long live The Great Electronic Underground.
Look after molehills mountains will look after themselves
Look at all the Indians.
Look into his eyes, and see if someone else is driving.
Look into yourself to discover your first priority.
Look Ma, No Taglines!
Look on my tagline, ye mighty, and despair!
Look out for barking dogs that bite.
Look out.  Behind you.
Look.  A flying porpoise.
Lookout World!  The modem is ringing.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
LORD NIMON! It is I, Soldeed, shamelessly overacting...
Lose that ugly FAT! Download a trojan today.
Losing weight: the triumph of mind over platter.
Losing your drivers' license is God saying "Walk!"
Lost - One Tagline - old, but very cuddly.
Lost gold may be found, time lost is gone forever.
Lost interest? It`s so bad I`ve lost apathy.
LOTTERY: Just a tax on people who are bad at math.
Lotus executives do not wear Look & Feel T shirts.
Love -- a grave mental disease.
Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
Love conquers all things except poverty and toothaches.
Love is being stupid together.
Love is blind, to everything except fat.
Love is in the offing. Be affectionate to who adores you.
Love is like a baseball game, four balls and you walk.
Love is like a baseball game, three strikes you're out.
Love is never jealous or envious. Tell THAT to my boyfriend!
Love is of chemistry, sex is of physics.
Love is sentimental measles.
Love the sea?  I dote upon it - from the beach.
Love thy neighbor ... just never get caught.
Love truth but pardon error.
Love your enemies -- it makes them so damned mad.
Love your neighbor: Just don't get caught!
Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity.
Lunatic asylum: where optimism most flourishes.
Lurkers of the world unite!
Luxury: Costs $7.69 to make and $20.00 to market.
Mac screen message: "Like, dude, something went wrong."
Machine-independent program: Will not run on any machine.
MacIntosh:Computer with training wheels you can't remove.
Mad: Affected with a lot of intellectual independence.
Madam, an error, we did a hysterectomy on your husband
Madness takes a toll make sure you have the exact change.
Madre que consiente engorda una serpiente.
Maintainer's Motto: If we can't fix it, it ain't broke.
Make a wish, it might come true.
Make new friends but keep the old. Like silver and gold.
Make someone happy tomorrow, Mind your own business today
Make two grins grow where there was only a grouch before.
Malice is merely stupidity raised to a higher power.
Mammas, don't let your babies grow up to be Trek Fans...
Man and wife make one fool.
Man is a fool, always wanting what is not.
Man is a piece of the universe made alive.
Man is the bad child of the universe.
Man is the missing link between apes and human beings.
Man loves little and often, woman much and rarely.
Man's inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn.
Man, born of woman is of few days; full of trouble.
Man: There is nothing more miserable and more arrogant.
Mandatory tagline omitted; moderator gone berserk.  Story at 11:00.
Maniac: He who leaves Maine.  Mainer: he who stays.
Manuals come out, after all possible keystrokes fail.
Many a family tree needs trimming.
Many are absent from reality physically and/or mentally.
Many foxes grow gray, but few grow good.
Many kiss the hand that they wish they could bite off.
Many possess the wisdom of many and only the wit of one.
Many receive advice, only the wise profit from it.
Many things are more than just the sum of their parts.
Many tombstones should read: "Died at 30. Buried at 60."
Many would be cowards if they had courage enough to be so
Man`s horizons are bounded by his vision.
Marijuana, nature's way of saying "Hi!"
Marketing is simply sales with a college education.
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
Marriage makes a life of deception a necessity.
Marriage, a romance but the hero dies in the 1st chapter.
Marriage, is a lifelong venture, approached with caution.
Marriages are based on believing you won the arguments.
Married politicians do it to wife and country.
Married.. Who me ?  ... I can't mate in captivity.
Mars needs women, apply at NASA.
Mary had a little lamb, a little beef, a little ham.
Mary had a little lamb.  The doctor was very surprised.
Mary had a little RAM -- only about a MEG or so.
Mary had potatoes, wine, salad, and a little lamb.
MASOCHIST: Windows SDK programmer with a smile!
Master debaters often argue with themselves.
Math illiteracy affects eight of every five people.
Matrimony is the root of all evil.
Matrimony isn't a word, it's a sentence.
May a thousand angry hornets take refuge in your pants.
May the force be with you.
May we kiss those we please, and please those we kiss.
May you live all the days of your life.
May your best yesterday be better than your worst today.
Maybe you're correct being nervous now.
Maytag is my middle name: I'm an agitator.
McCoyDos 7.0: No error messages, user knows everything ahead of time.
Me, indecisive?  I'm not so sure about that.
Me? FAT?  No, just horizontially disproportionate...
Meaning of life: <deleted for lack of space>.
Meaningless tagline attached to pointless message.
Medical Def'n #9:OUTPATIENT; A person who has fainted.
Medical staff: A physician's cane.
Meester, do you vant to buy a duck?
Meetings are indispensable for doing nothing.
Megahertz--when something is really painful.
Member: International Brotherhood of Tagline Thieves!
Memoirs are the backstairs of history.
Memories keep the wolf of insignificance from the door.
Memory is the second thing to go during the human story..
Memory is the second thing to go.  I can't remember the
Memory Manager:  Something I need more than my computer.
Memory overload error noted ... Meltdown now evident.
Memory seems to go first, or second, or ...
Men are creatures with two legs and eight hands.
Men are more sentimental than women. It blurs their minds
Men avoid attributing cleverness to others unless enemies
Men die and worms eat them - but not for love.
Men know life too early, women too late.
Men, in general, are but overgrown children.
Mental floss might prevent moral decay.
Mental Floss: In one ear and out the other.
Menu:  A list of meals the restaurant has just run out of
Menu: List of dishes which the restaurant has run out of.
Merlin! And against all hope...
Message brought to you by sufficient coffee indigestion.
Message sent. Destroy immediately upon receipt.
Message writing interferes with tagline stealing.
Message: carrier organism for taglines.
Messages are off-topic in the TAGLINE conference.
Messages are off-topic in the Tagline Echo.
Messages in taglines?  Whatever is the world coming to?
Metaphors be with you.
Metric Lit: The Courtship of Kilometers Standish.
Midas was into golden showers.
Middle age: When your age starts to show at your middle.
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
MilliHelen: Beauty required to launch one ship.
Minds, like parachutes, work only when open.
Minnie and Mickey Mouse are slow maze learners.
Minor operation.  What workers do in a coal mine.
Miracle Software, Inc. Motto: If it works, it's a Miracle
Mischief all comes from too much opening of the mouth.
Misery brings strange bedfellows.
Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.
Misfortune:  The kind of fortune that never misses.
Misfortunes always enter any door left open for them.
Misinformation is the cruelest computer virus of all.
Misspelled?  No way!  I use an error-correcting modem.
Mistakes are often the stepping stones to total failure.
Mistakes at least show someone did something at sometime.
Misteaching: Telling one's grandmother how to suck eggs.
Mister!  Here's your mule.
Mistrust first impulses, they are always good.
MODEM - Monumentally Overpriced Data Eating Machine.
Modem not found: (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)oto bed?
Modem sex begins with a handshake.
Modem: Deterrent to receiving wanted and unwanted calls.
Modems.....reach out and BYTE someone.
Moderation in all things should be practiced sparingly.
Modern mother: "You don't write, nor call, nor fax."
Modern poets mix too much water with their ink. -Goethe
Modesty Becomes You. Try It More Often.
Modesty died when false modesty was born.
Modesty is a good bait when fishing for praise.
Mommy, what are TAGLINES? The Same as the Birds & Bee
Mommy, why does that moon have a crack?
Monday:  The day after the football game.
Money can't buy happiness, but allows a choice of misery.
Money is a good aphrodisiac. Flowers work almost as well.
Money is always there but the pockets change.
Money is an excellent servant, but a horrible master.
Money is like an arm or leg - use it or lose it.
Money is round, it rolls away.
Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.
MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL. Send $20 for more info.
Money is the root of all wealth.
Money is the sinews of both love and war.
Money is truthful.  Men who speak of honor must pay cash.
MONEY TALKS ...   but all mine ever says is GOODBYE!
Money talks ... and mine only says "Good bye."
Money talks, but all mine ever says is "Goodbye."
Money: A mint makes it first and we try to make it last.
Monolith Autoplex: "My God! It's full of cars!"
Monologue: A conversation between realtor and prospect.
Monopolized cable service is all cable and no service.
Monotheism is a gift from the gods.
Morality is a private and costly luxury.
Morbid: The next higher offer at an auction.
More than you wanted to know, aren't you sorry you asked?
Mosquito: Designed by God to make flies seem better.
Most allies must be watched just like the enemy.
Most bugs are real sons of glitches.
Most family trees have several branches best forgotten.
Most free items find an eager waiting user.
Most great discoveries start with making a mistake.
Most of our future lies ahead.
Most of us hate to see a poor loser--or a rich winner.
Most weight lifters are biceptual.
Most wonderful ideas are so obvious that they're not.
Mother Nature erred: Leaves should fall up.
Mother nature is a bitch.
Mother said I hadn't oughta, so I stayed a virgin, sorta.
Mothers-in-law must drink goat's milk, always butting in.
Motto of the LAPD: "We Treat You Like A King!"
Mountains culminate in peaks, and nations in people.
Movement To Ban Silly Tag Lines; Send donations to:
Mr. Bullfrog sez:  Time is fun when you're having flies.
Mr. Worf!  Eating Christmas Cookies, on my bridge?
MS-DAX 6.0: (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore Julian
MS-DOS is CP/M on steroids.
MSDOS is a boot sector virus.
Mud slinging politicians clod their way to the top.
Multitasking allows screwing up several things at once.
Murphy was an optimist.
Murphy's Law: If anything can go wrong, it will.
Music is the only sensual pleasure without vice.
Music with dinner is insulting both chef and violinist.
Must go - My attack cat needs her claws filled.
Must Go - My Nephew wants to learn Serbo Croat
My best taglines are in for repair!  This one's a loaner.
My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R.
My boyfriend is getting jealous...of the time I spend with my computer.
My boyfriend wanted to see the world, so I bought him an atlas.
My brain is my second favorite organ.
My brain's not crippled, it's functionally challenged.
My compiler has a first name, it's Q.U.I.C.K.
My computer even came with a driver's side air bag.
My computer has EMS....Wont you help?
My computer is getting jealous...of the time I spend with my boyfriend.
My cow aborted, now she is decalfinated.
My ex-wife got the gold mine, but I got the shaft.
My family tree is in the forest, somewhere!
My genes are so tight, they may stay with me forever.
My girlfriend and I are expecting a little tagline.
My girlfriend's schizo. She's good people, but....
My Go this  amn keyboar  oesn't have any  's.
My hard disk went on a diet and lost it's FAT.
My Hispanic/Chinese houseboy, Manuel Tai'ping does my taglines.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
My life is still in BETA test.
mY lINKAGE iS sTUCK iN rEVERSE.
My mail reader can beat up your mail reader.
My MD wrote an Rx for regular sex, but Blue Cross refused
My mind ain't so open that anything can crawl right in.
My mind is like a blotter: Soaks it up, gets it backwards
My mind.  I can feel it.  I can feel it going. Goodbye.
My name is Taylor, but I don't know a needle from a pin.
My name seems to be "xxx-xx-xxxx" what's yours?
My neighbor has a circular driveway. she can't get out.
My opinions are my own; mistakes are the computer's fault.
My opinions are not those of my ex-employer.
My opinions expressed above are not necessarily mine.
My other car is a Galaxy Class Starship, need a ride?
My other computer is a Cadillac.
My other computer is a VAX.
My other computer is another Amiga.
My other computer looks like Brent Spiner.
My other tagline is a footnote.
My other TIME/SPACE machine is a TARDIS.
My other vehicle is a Galaxy Class Starship ...
My patience is like 7-Up:  Never had it, never will.
My poor mouse only has one ball.
My previous host MacGyver Dax, could make a bomb out of a paper clip.
My problem is an 8088 brain in a 80486 world.
My profession?  Does the word "peon" mean anything to you
My reality check just bounced.
My ship just came in.  It was the Kobiyashi Maru.
My ship just came in.  It was the Titanic.
My tagline can beat up your tagline...
My tagline editor asked me to slow down!
My tagline is in the shop. This is a loaner.
My tagline is on the blink again!
My trouble is that my absence makes good company.
My twit filter just put me on its twit List.
My wallet's cache is disabled.
My widget is better than yours simply because it's MINE.
Myth-conceptions are the major cause of wars.
Mythology: Invented lies for future consumption.
NAK NAK... Who's there?
Nam homo proponit, sed Deus disponit.
Name for a topless bathing suit: "Two for the show?"
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
Nature, like people, sometimes weeps for gladness.
Necessity is a mother.
Needed newsgroup: alt.tv.dr-who.adric.die.die.die
Nepotism is fine as long as you keep it in the family.
Nervous: Asking what wine goes well with fingernails.
Network management is like trying to herd cats.
Network?  I'm retired, I don't do no work never.
Neutrality pays when your wife and mother-in-law argue.
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
Never agree with me, it shakes my self confidence.
Never appeal to his better nature.  He may not have one.
Never argue with a skunk, mule, female, or a SysOp.
Never be led astray onto the path of virtue.
Never believe in miracles, simply depend upon them.
Never believe what you hear, and less of what you think.
Never borrow trouble, the interest is entirely too high.
Never buy a software package bigger than your head.
Never call a man a fool, instead, borrow from him.
Never confuse a motion with an action.  Apples & Oranges.
Never confuse moving fast with going somewhere.
Never cut down an Ironwood Tree to build your life raft.
Never deprive someone of hope, it may be all they have.
Never despair.  If you do, you will work on into despair.
Never do today what you can delegate tomorrow.
Never drink from your finger bowl, it contains only water
Never eat anything larger than your head.
Never eat prunes when you're famished.
Never enough time, unless you're serving it.
Never flush urinals with your hand - use your elbow.
Never forget that clones are people two.
Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight instead.
Never have children, but always have grandchildren.
Never hit a man with glasses.  Use your fist.
Never invest in anything that eats or needs painting.
Never invite newlyweds to a come-as-you-are party.
Never Judge a man by his TAGLINE!
Never judge a man by his taglines.
Never judge a man by the Taglines he has stolen..
Never lean forward to push an invisible object.
Never mind the dog, beware of the owner & fecal deposits.
Never miss a good opportunity to shut your face.
NEVER moon a police officer who has a polearm.
Never MOON a werewolf!!!
Never park your hard disk in a tow-away zone.
Never play leap-frog with a unicorn!
Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely.
Never say "oops."
NEVER say Cthulhu's name ou%^*$%#^*$%NO CARRIER.
Never settle for less than your best.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
Never take a tagline seriously - No, Really!
Never tell a lie, unless lying is your strongest point.
Never tell them what you wouldn't want to do.
Never test for a condition you don't know how to handle.
Never test for an error unless you're ready to handle it.
Never think of the future.  It comes too soon regardless.
Never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.
Never trust a skinny cook.
Never trust a smiling wolf to tend your sheep.
Never trust anyone who speaks well of everyone.
Never try this stunt on your own PC.
Never try to out stubborn a cat.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Never wear a Big Mac suit while next to George Foreman.
Never, never, never *MOON* a werewolf !!
New Klingon Horror Flick:  Edward Batlh'ethHands.
New Mail not found.  Start whine-pout sequence? (Y/N)
new oxymoron: final beta
NEW:  Crunchy Taglines - betcha can't read just one!
Newest Storage: A WORN disk. (Write Once..Read Never).
Next time you wave at me use more than one finger.
Next time you wave, use ALL of your fingers!!
Nice computers don't crash.
Nickel: Once good for getting the wrong number with.
Nihilism should commence with oneself.
Ninety percent of everything will prove to be plain crap.
Nintendonitis: Hand strain due to excessive rapid fire button pushing.
Nitrate: The motel rate for a stay of more than two hours
No answer is also an answer.
No bachelor files for divorce after a home-cooked meal.
No battle plan has ever survived contact with the enemy.
No Commander, I meant the OTHER battleship.
No condo, no MBA, no BMW, no 486, no clever tagline.
No Condo, No MBA, No BMW, No Clever Tagline
No decorations necessary.
No facts are sacred, none are profane.
No generalization is wholly true, not even this one.
No job is too simple nor too small to make a mess out of.
No man can serve two masters, yes-men can serve hundreds.
No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar
No man is lonely while eating spaghetti.
No matter how large that drive is, it'll never be enough.
No matter what goes wrong, someone knew it would.
No medicine can cure a vulgar person.
No moderators present, and the flaming began.
No need to be leading to have the courage to go ahead.
No one can think clearly with clenched fists.
No one does as much harm as one going about doing good.
No one is so happy or sad as he imagines.
No one should hide their true self behind a false face.
No one should test the depth of a river with both feet.
No parking in the red zone.
No person ever became wicked all at once.
No person is lonely while eating spaghetti.
No person should govern another without their permission.
No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away
No quarter asked, no change given.
No sane man will dance.
No sense being pessimistic.  It wouldn't work anyway.
No such thing as an incorrect tagline, man.
No Tagline available at this time.
No tagline available.  Wakko ate them all!
No tax collector will ever enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
No wanna work.  Wanna bang on keyboard.
No woman should imitate men.  Men are not worth it.
No wonder can last more than three days.
No, boars are never chauvinists.
No, I don't know what "apathy" means, nor do I care.
No, I'm NOT an Extended Character.
No, I'm not just another extended character.
No, my dear Doctor, you must die!-- The Master
No, Taco Bell is NOT the Mexican telephone company!
Noah saved all the animals from the flood by arcing them.
Noble deeds that are concealed are most esteemed.
Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
Nobody can be just like me. Even I have trouble.
Nobody else knows what to do either.
Nobody ever bet too much on a winning horse.
Nobody ever bets enough on the winning horse.
Nobody ever goes there, it's too crowded.
Nobody has ever learned all of WordPerfect.
Nobody home but the lights, and they're out too.
Nobody is as deaf as those who will not to hear.
Nobody knows the truffles I've seen.
Nobody notices when things go right, I'm always noticed.
Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
Nobody's seen it all.
Node: Was aware of.  The past tense of "know."
Non omnia possumus omnes.
Non-fiction often is more unrealistic than fiction.
None but a mule denies his genealogy.
Normality is restored. Any problems remaining are your own.
Nos micturate te salutamus.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Nostalgia was much better in the good old days.
Not a real tagline, but an incredible soy substitute.
Not all bugs are worth fixing.
Not everything in life is funny.
Not everything more difficult is more meritorious.
Not everything that counts can be counted.
Not now ... I have to go mow the laundry.
Not Ready Error reading user's mind.
Not to know is bad, but not to wish to know is worse.
Not tonight dear, I have a Modem!!!
Not whether you win or lose but how you place the blame..
Nothing astonishes like common sense and plain dealing.
Nothing can go wrong...go wrong...go wro*%$@# NO CARRIER.
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
Nothing in this world is certain but DOS and taxes.
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Nothing is ever constant, unless it is dead.
Nothing is ever foolproof.  They are always so ingenious.
Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
Nothing is foolproof, idiots are too ingenious.
Nothing is impossible for he who doesn't have to do it.
Nothing is impossible for those who don't have to do it.
Nothing is more believed as that known least by the most.
Nothing is so good that somebody will not hate it.
Nothing is so smiple that it can't get screwed up.
Nothing is true, everything is permitted.
Nothing is very funny when you're underneath it.
Nothing is wrong with you that reincarnation can't cure.
Nothing really obnoxious ever totally disappears.
Nothing recedes like success.
Nothing succeeds like failure.
Nothing works, and nobody cares.
Nothing's more dangerous than a mind with a solitary idea
NOTICE! � This tagline protected by an attack cat.
Notice: All incoming fire has the right of way.
Nouvelle cuisine shows more on the bill, than the plate.
Now *this* is a *great*  tagline!  Hah!
Now and then an honest person goes into politics.
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
Now is the time for all good men to come to.
Now may be an excellent time to become a missing person.
Now that's a Truly Profound Tagline!
Now where can you find one, nicer than this?
Now where did I park my hard drive?
Now, now, we're not schizophrenic, am I?
Now, THIS is a tagline
Now... where did I park that hard disk?
Nowadays even some illiterates can read and write.
NR]   It's Not What You Know, But Who You Know.
Nuclear submarine's major problem: Whale mating season.
Nuclear Weapons:  May they rust in peace.
Nudists are people who wear one-button suits.
O oysters come and walk with us, the walrus did beseech.
O'Brien, beam a large pepperoni pizza to these coordinates.
Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.
Objects are closer than they appear...
Objects in your download packet may appear larger than they are.
OBLIGATO -- being forced to practice the piano.
Obviously I'm due for a regeneration soon...
October, when greens turn brown and tans pale.
October; When trees change from hirsuties to bald pates.
Odo as a Vedek: The fluid druid.
Odo, is there any more Jell-O in the fridge?   Odo??   Odo??!!
Odo, when the walls fell. Lwaxana, her arms wide...
ODOSCAN.EXE - Gets the Quaraks out of your Hard Drive!
Of all forms of caution, cautious love is the most fatal.
Of all the people I have met, you are certainly one.
Of all thirty-six alternatives, ignoring it is best.
Of all wild beasts, a boy is the most difficult to tame.
Of course I can cook, but I never do it on the first date
Of course I tessssted it.
Of course, we could always get a sump pump.
Off by CRASHING COMPUTER. Time Logged:  ^D!@#$%^(*&^%^Z.
OFF-line mail make sysops happy.
Often the test of courage is not to die but to live.
Often-Wrong Soong's got a broken heart. Can't even tell his boys apart.
Oh captain! my captain! our fearful trip is done.
Oh could I fly, I'd fly with thee.
Oh God! I almost stole a tagline!
Oh no!  Not another expensive update.
Oh no! ANOTHER of Wesley's experiments is threatening the universe!
Oh no, not deja-vu again. Oh no, not deja-vu again. Oh no
Oh that?  I was playing leap frog with a unicorn.
Oh war. Thou son of Hell.
Oh well, half of one, six dozen of the other.
Oh yeah? Beta test this.
OH! Dont touch the modem there, thats it's ,um, nice spot!
Oh, I'm a tagline, and I'm OK...
Oh, I'm sorry, was that your hard drive.
Oh, my ears and whiskers, how late it's getting.
Oh, no!  Not another learning experience.
Oh, pardon me, was that *your* culture?  So sorry.
Oh, what a tangled web we weave -Hair Club For Men.
Oh, what the hell, here's a tagline.
Ok! I'm weird, but I'm saving up to become eccentric.
OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to be eccentric.
Ok, let yourself go, as long as you can let yourself back
Ok, now for a quick backu^L+b&2PO^1+=.
Okay Okay - right after this one we're BACK to the TOPIC!
Okay, I'm crazy!  But I'm saving up to be eccentric.
Okay. When I count to three, everybody smile!
Old age & treachery triumph over youth & vigor.
Old age comes at a bad time.
Old age is a disease without a cure.
Old age is not for sissies.
Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
Old birds are hard to pluck.
Old computers make great boat anchors.
Old Grandad is dead, but his spirit lives on.
Old MacDonald had a computer with EIA I/O.
Old musicians never die, they just decompose.
Old programmers never die, they just lose their byte.
Old programmers never die.  They branch to a new address.
Old soldiers never die, they just fade away..
On a clear disk you can seek forever.
On a quiet night, you can listen forever and hear nothing
On earth as it is in San Francisco
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
On the stage, dying is easy, comedy is difficult.
On this BBS, we recycle all of our bytes, bit by bit.
Once a king always a king, but once a knight isn't enough
Once more into the breach.
Once uttered, words run faster than the horses I bet on.
Once you were the teacher and I was the learner...  Darth Vader
One B-2 bomber = 30,000 4-year college educations.
One beautiful tagline!...Two beautiful taglines!- The Count von Count
One Buchanan beats a Bush hiding a Quayle any day.
One crow will not peck out another crow's eyes.
One day I'm a windshield, the next day a bug thereon.
One family builds a wall, two families enjoy it.
One good turn gets most of the blanket on a cold night.
One good turn gets most of the blanket.
One Is Seldom Criticized For A Closed Mouth.
One lie always leads to another almost automatically.
One man's folly is another man's wife.
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
One man's Windows are another man's walls.
One of these days, Alice, one of these days.
One of your taglines is lost...
One person's <grin> is another's <groan>.
One person's bug is another person's feature.
One person's theology is another person's belly laugh.
One tagline to rule them all, & in the darkness bind them.
One thing I'll say for them, Taglines are cool.
One way to stop a run away horse is to bet on him.
One who is always in a stew generally goes to pot.
One who is in peril thinks with their legs.
One's needs are a function of what other people have.
Onion ring to rule them all, onion ring to bind them.
Only a doctor suffers from good health.
Only a mediocre person is ever at their best.
only a test. Had this been an actual tagline ...
Only adults have difficulty with childproof caps.
Only Amiga Makes it possible!
Only fools make technology a master instead of a servant.
Only fools rush in...but they get the best taglines !!!
Only God can make a random selection.
Only he attempting the absurd can achieve the impossible.
Only I can tell where my own shoe pinches me.
Only in baseball is a self-sacrifice appreciated.
Only in your dreams are you really free.
Only people born with chimneys are allowed to smoke.
Only the hand able to  erase can write the truth.
Only the lead dog sees the scenery change.
Only the lucky find life is two steps forward, one back.
Only the mediocre are always at their best.
Only the rich have distant relatives.
Only the stupidest calves chose their own butcher.
Only they can conquer who believe they can.
Only Weenies steal taglines they don't understand.
Onward and backward!  We must look busy.
OOOPS!... I just tried to steal my own tagline....
Ooops. My brain just hit another bad sector.
Oops! .. Tried to steal my own tagline, hehe ..
Open it up and what have you got: Bibbity, Bobbity BOOOO.
Open mouth, insert foot, echo internationally.
Open mouth, insert foot, echo stupidity internationally.
Open WINDOWS and you let BUGS in . . . .
Operator!....Trace this call and tell me where I am.
Opinions are like noses, almost everybody has one.
Opinions expressed here or there are not necessarily mine
Opportunities taken are what makes your future.
Opportunity always knock at the least opportune moment.
Opportunity knocks once - the neighbors rest of the time.
Opposing action systems do not execute simultaneously.
Optimist: Someone who doesn't know all the facts yet.
Optimization hinders evolution.
Orator: a two minute idea, a two hour vocabulary.
Orb all you want; we'll write more!
Orders, Master, orders!!! --K9, Warriors' Gate
Oregon cellars contain more water than Texas rivers.
Organic:  Church music.
Original  discoveries, seem so obvious afterwards.
Originality is undetected plagiarism.
Orthopedists get all the breaks.
OS/2 - The sane way to jump out of windows.
OS/2 -- AmigaDOS for IBMs....
OS/2 = Half an Operating System?
OS/2: Your Brain    -    Windows: Your brain on drugs.
Ostrich: He runs so fast he leaves his behind behind.
Other than it doesn't work, it works fantastic for me.
Other than penicillin do you take if you have everything?
Other than that, Jackie, how was the parade? - Dan Quayle
Other things change, but we start and end with family.
Other times, other customs.
Our big cities are becoming Third World countries.
Our first and last love is self-love.
Our future is always uncertain our end is always too near
Our life is a trip between two eternities.
Our parents ruin our early lives, our children later.
Our program, who art in memory, EXE be thy name...
Our world: a 8000 mile in diameter spherical pile of dirt
Out of string space?  Try Scotch Tape.
Out of the frying pan, into der fire. - The Swedish Chef.
Outpatient.  A person who has fainted in the waiting room
Outside noisy, inside empty.
Overdrawn?  But I still have checks left.
Overestimation: Thinking that all your geese are swans.
Oxymoron:  too many taglines
Pain is a part of all life.  Misery is at your option.
Pale ink beats a good memory.
Palindromic taglines are for roferas enilgat cimordnilap
PANDORA.ZIP  Warning!  DO NOT unZip this file!
Pants: Trousers' country cousins.
Paper is always strongest at the perforations.
Paranoia is heightened awareness.
Paranoia isn't as much fun as it used to be.
Paranoia:  the feeling that a tagline is about you.
PARANOID - One who is really in touch with reality.
Pardon me, but would you have any original Taglines?....
Pardon my driving, I'm trying to reload on the move.
Parents: One of the hardships of a minor's life.
Parking is such street sorrow.
Parrot:  Official Bird of the Tagline echo.
Part-time musicians are semiconductors.
Parts is parts.
Parts that cannot be assembled in improper order will be.
Parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus.
Pascal programmers do it with indentations.
Pascal: not Wirth a nickel.
Passing on curves: What a beauty-contest judge does.
Password?  I don't need to show you no steenking password
Patience is a virtue possessed by few men and no women.
Patience: A surfer sitting in Walden Pond.
Patriotism is always the last refuge for the scoundrel.
Paul Revere was a tattle-tale.
Paul said it is better to marry than burn, some wonder.
Pay attention! This is the mother of all taglines.
PBS Virus: Your computer stops every five minutes to ask for money.
PCs are OK except when you use them as bowling balls.
Pedestrian: The most approachable chap in the world.
Pedestrians come in two types: Quick or Dead.
Pedestrians: The Quick or the Dead.
Pee-Wee's favorite baseball team --> the Expos.
Peeking two-eyed through a keyhole takes a narrow mind.
Penguin: The headwaiter of the Antarctic.
Pentium Problem: Every time I turn it on, I burn it up, & burn it out.
People are the only creatures with the power of laughter.
People say I'm apathetic, but I don't care.
People say I'm indecisive, but I'm not so sure.
People sweat so they won't catch fire when making love.
People who are sensible about love are incapable of it.
People who have trouble communicating should shut up.
People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
People who stagnate rather than evolve are almost dead.
People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
People with dogs are too cowardly to bite for themselves.
People, by nature, are civic animals.
People, not dogs, sell their souls for money or power.
Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.
Perfection is the road, not the destination.
Perhaps a radiologist can find something of value in him?
Permission to smash the lieutenant's head in, sir. * Worf
Perot/Bush/Quayle: Billionaire, Skipper and Gilligan
person slow to anger is better than the mighty.
Persons reading between the lines do so at their own risk
PertweeDos 3.0: (A)bort (R)etry (V)enusian karate
Pessimism never won a battle.
Petty crime is the scourge of business today.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wzah'magl fhtagn.
Phasers don't kill people...Unless you set them too high.
Philosophic enjoyment = mutual misunderstanding.
Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex
Philosophy: A route leading from nowhere to nothing.
Phone your Moderator at 3 A.M. for free taglines...!!!!
Physics is experience, arranged in an economical order.
Pi are round. Cornbread are square.
Pi R Squared? No. Pie R round, Cornbread R square!
Piano tuners do it twice a year.
Picard Burger:  No sesame seeds on the bun.
Picard to his Singer repairman:  Make it sew.
Pinky, Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pity a donkey with a IQ of 138.  Nobody likes a smart ass
Pity the poor corpuscle, for he labors in vein.
Place "very funny" tagline here.
Place all paint in the rear. Leave no stern untoned.
Plan to throw one away.  You will anyhow.
Planned parenthood --- the impossible dream.
Play it, again Sam.
Please Captain, not in front of the Klingons. * Spock
Please come back to Detroit, we missed you the first time
Please do not break character.
Please don't feed the typesetter.
Please don't unzip here. I'm bashful; I'll probably laugh
Please don't yell at me.  I'm new at this.
Please let me know if you did not receive this.
Please re-enter your tagline... and make it funny this time.
Please reply if you don't see this tagline.
Please report all lost or stolen Taglines to your Sysop.
Please return stewardess to her original upright position.
Please return stewardess to original upright position.
Please take my word for it.
Please Tell Me if you Don't Get This Message
Please, forget that, I was just going to start eating.
Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh, what a relief it is.
Poetry is what Milton first saw after he went blind.
Poets are rather silent on the subject of cheese.
POETS: Piss On Everything, Tomorrow's Saturday.
Poker Face: The face that launched a thousand chips.
Poker: It's darkest just before you've drawn.
Police tagline.  Do not cross
Policemen... I'd recognize them in ANY century. --Moriarty.
Politeness makes wrinkles smooth.
Political correctness isn't.
Politicians fly the SST now, and all of us pay later.
Politicians profit by confusing theories with conditions.
Politics is stealing from the many and giving to the few.
Politics: Passing the buck or passing the doe.
Politics: The glad hand and the marble heart.
Politics: When one makes a decision that involves others.
Pond, James Pond. Double Bubble Seven. Underwater Agent.
Positive thinking: Believe everything positively stinks.
Positive: Being mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Post-Operative:  Fancy title for a letter carrier.
Postage not necessary if mailed within the United States.
Postmen never die, they just lose their zip.
Postscript: The only thing of interest in some letters.
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat.
Power is an illusion; only stupidity is real.
Practice good mirth control, use a conundrum.
Practice safe algebra, use brackets.
Practiss maks perfict.
Pragmatism should never be confused with moderation.
Praise: What you receive when you are no longer alive.
Predestination was doomed from the start.
Pregnancy is a side effect of sloppy birth control.
Prejudice is the reason of fools.
Present technology may permit history to have an end.
Preserve the old, but know the new.
Press  +  to see another tagline.
Press <CTRL>+<ALT>+<DEL> to continue.
Press <ESC> to load the BBS, or <ALT>+H for an IQ test.
Press all the keys at once to continue...
Press any key - i.e. the key with  "ANY"  on it.
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit
Press any key... NO!... except that one.
Press any key... OK, I'll press this big red one�%&͕�ߨ
Press [ESC] to detonate or any other key to explode .
Pretend to spank me - I'm a pseudo-masochist.
Pretending sleep is the most common birth control device.
Prevent computer viruses. Install Trojans!
Prevention is better than cure.
Price of admission - your premise.
Priests do it faithfully with Masses.
PRIME DIRECTIVE, MY A**! Phasers on maximum!
Printers do it without wrinkling the sheets.
printf("This is a tagline..."); printf("\nThis is your br
Pro is to con as progress is to Congress.
Programmer's Oxymoron: Spare-Time
Programmers do it with their fingers.
Programmers get overlaid.
Programs will expand to fill available memory
Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
Promises and performances vary with hopes and fears.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Prosperity makes some friends and many enemies.
Prostitute: Someone who sleeps using the Buddy System.
Protect your right to arm bears
Protein: Supportive of young people.
Prsentez toujours le devant au monde.
Prune: A plum that has seen better days.
Pry a yellow rib 'n pound the old soak free.
PS/2 it?  PS/on it too.
Psst! Your .ZIP file is open.
Psychiatry is the care of the id by the odd.
Psychic Con: You know where and when.
Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.
Public opinion flourishes where there are no ideas.
Punctuality is the thief of time.
Pure drivel tends to drive away ordinary drivel.
Purring....the sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness.
Put lawyers on the ethics committee, for balance.
Put off procrastinating until a later time.
Put on your seatbelts. I'm gonna try something new.
Putt knot yore trussed in spilling chequers.
Quality is to be found in absolutely everything I due.
Quark, his arms open wide.  Pel, her ears falling off.
Quick!  Make a wish!  It has a chance to come true.
Quick!  Operator!  Give me the number for 911!
Quick!  Say something profound in 45 characters or le.
Quick! hand me that solar-powered flashlight.
Quick, I need a tagline, let me steal yours.
Quick.  Operator.  Give me the number for 911.
Quien con perros se acuesta con pulgas se levanta.
Quien da el pan impone la ley.
Quit work and play for once.
Quit worrying about your health, it will go away.
Quite an interesting tagline. Think I'll take it with me.
Quoth the Raven,  Eat My Shorts.
Racist leaders live off the fatheads of the land.
Radical: Anyone whose opinion differs from ours.
Radioactive cats have 18 half lives.
Radioactive Halibut makes great fission chips!
Radioactive halibut will make fission chips.
Rainforest: a scarcity of animals a plethora of tourists.
Raise your IQ--  eat gifted children.
Raising pet electric eels has lots of current popularity.
Raising your voice does not reinforce your argument.
RAM = Rarely Adequate Memory
RAM DISK is NOT an installation procedure!
Ran out of taglines: (A)bort (R)eread (S)teal
Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
Rational information in arguments not permitted here.
Read messages, not taglines.
Read my quips!! NO NEW TAGLINES TAXES!
Read the docs?  What a RADICAL concept!
Read the docs? Wow, what a radical concept.
Read the taglines... forget the messages!.
Reader not found, please notify tagline.
Reading with your eyes closed may help you understand.
Real knowledge is knowing the extent of one's ignorance.
Real knowledge is to know the extent of your ignorance.
Real men *do* cry in real time and real space.
Real men write self-modifying code.
Real programmers practice safe HEX.
Real programmers snort Taster's Choice.
Real programmers use punched cards.
REAL SysOps disconnect the speakers.
Real wealth is the kind that can only increase.
Reality is a constant intrusion on my dreams.
Reality is an illusion produced by alcohol deficiency.
Reality is for those that can't handle drugs.
Reality is something you must always rise above.
Reality is something you rise above.
Reality is the indefinite enumeration of objects.
Reality Meter:  [\.......]  Hmph!  Thought so...
Reality stems from the line printer.
Reality sure has unknown dimensions.
Reality-O-Meter:  [\.......]  Hmmph!  Thought so.
REALITY.SYS corrupted -- Reboot UNIVERSE [Y,n]?
REALITY.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot universe? (Y/N/Q)
Reality: Crutch for people who can't read science fiction
Reality: Life without alcohol.
Reality: Only a concept and the home of the brave.
Really get stoned, drink wet cement.
Really stupid people believe they are intelligent.
Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.
Recent investments will yield a slight profit.
Recognize the signs of spring.
Recovering Taglinestealaholic.  Please do not tempt.
Recursion, noun:  see recursion.
Recycle! For us and for them.
Recycle: For me, for you, for them, and them, and them.
Red, white, and blue. Three colors that only run forward.
Redneck: (n); a person whose family tree doesn't fork.
Reduce, reuse and recycle your taglines ;-)
Redundancy is something I can do again and again.
Regardless of what you may think, this is NOT a tagline.
Regular or extra crispy, how do you want the environment?
Religions change, beer and wine remain.
Religious people are wicked, how would they be without?
Remember that a kick in the butt may equal a step forward
Remember that three lefts make a right.
Remember to leave 15% for the tip of the iceberg.
Remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty?
Remember, if you win the rat race, you're still a rat.
Remember, it takes two to dance the tango.
Remember, it takes two to play peekaboo.
Remember, it takes two to share a kiss.
Remember, one runner does not make a race.
Remember, one shoe cannot be a pair.
Remember, one singer is not a duet.
Remember, the end never justifies the meanness.
Remember, the paper is strongest at the perforations.
Remember, UNIX spelled backwards is XINU.
Remember: No matter where you go; there you are.
Removal of this Tagline is Punishable under Canadian Law
Renegade Taglines!!  We're tired of being kidnapped!!!  REBEL!!!!!
Repartee: An insult with a suit and tie on.
Repent and return those library books.
Repetition is the death of art.
Republican rule: The more I get, the better off you are.
Repunzel, Repunzel, ... turn on your modem.
Reputation:  What others are not thinking about you.
Resist being put into boxes.
Resistance Is Useless!   (If < 1 ohm)
Resistance is useless,  if you have no volts or amps.
Resort: A place where the tired grow more tired.
Responsibility without power is like slavery.
Restaurant: An eating place that does not sell drugs.
Results may be unpredictable.
Retire from Congress in 1992 and pocket campaign funds.
Retired teachers have no class at all.
Retirement: when you get a certificate of depreciation.
Retreat hell! We're just fighting in another direction.
Revenge is sweeter than life itself.  So think fools.
Revolutions are not about trifles, but from trifles grow.
Rise from life as a banquet, neither thirsty nor drunken.
RoboNap: Sleeps for you while you are online.
Robot:  Your plastic pal who's fun to be with.
Robotech? Oh, look Darling, it's Dallas in outer space!
Rock and roll is the hamburger that ate the world.
Roll me over in the clover........
Roll me over, lay me down and do it again.
ROM instruction: (R)ead (O)perators (M)ind.
ROM wasn't built in a day.
Ronald Reagan, the Milli Vanilli of Presidents.
Rope it in, Babs. - Buster Bunny
Rotisserie: a ferris wheel for chickens.
Rounded numbers are always false.
RTFM: But it's the computer manuals I hate.
RTFM?  You've got to be kidding.
RU486SX - 16 bit version of the popular abortion pill.
Rule of Order: He who shouts the loudest has the floor.
Rules?  What rules?
Rumors love lies.
Run for the toilet, Taco Bell's done it again.
Run! It's the Editor Dalek! "Expurgate tedious tagline! Expurgate!"
Runabouts have the life expectency of a redshirt.
Running water is fine, but not running through the roof.
Running Windows is better than washing them.
Russian Express Card motto: Don't leave home.
Said the fly " Let us flee."  Said the flea "Let us fly."
Sailors curse the rain that farmers prayed for in vain.
Sailors do it upon the waves.
Sails trimmed, autopilot on, now it's "Miller Time."
San Francisco: where NOBODY eats Rice-a-Roni.
Sandwich: An faulty attempt to make both ends meat.
Sane?  Hell, if I was sane why would I be here?
Sanity not found.  Abort, Ignore, Retry, Fail?
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
Sarah Jane, you keep thinking I'm DEAD!-- Fourth Doctor.
Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.
Save energy: be apathetic.
Save more trees, eat more beavers.
Save our  planet, leave something of value behind.
Save out planet for our descendants.
Save the earth, some of my best friends live here.
Save the plankton - eat a whale.
Save the Whales!  Collect the whole set!
Save the whales! Start collecting a whole set today.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
Save trees, eat beavers.
Saved whales are to be stored in Davy Jones' locker.
Savings accounts and toothpaste, only come out easy.
Say "No," then negotiate.
Say something soft & sweet.     Marshmallow.
Say the secret word and this duck is yours.
Say, can I use that in my tagline?
Schizophrenia beats dining alone.
Science Fiction:The only genuine consciousness-raising drug.<CS Lewis>
Science has not yet found a cure for the pun.
Scientific Method: A useful logical fallacy.
Scotty is smoking the dilithium crystals again, Jim.
Scotty! Beam me AUGGGG!!!! �b�~ NO CARRIER
Scotty! I've fallen and I can't beam up!!
Screw each and every prime directive.
Screw up your courage!  You've screwed up everything else
Scrute the inscrutable;  eff the ineffable.
SCUD : (S)ure (C)ould (U)se (D)irections.
Sculptor: A poor unfortunate who makes faces and busts.
Se non e vero, e molto ben trovato.
Secretion: Something someone is hiding from you.
Sects!  Sects!  Sects!  Is that all Monks think about?
Sects, sects, sects, is that all you monks think about?
Sects, sects, sects. Is that all monks think about?
Security is a game where final goal is never reached.
See you in the movies.
Seeing is believing, Touching is convincing.
Seek not to follow footsteps but what they sought.
Seismologists do it to a fault.
Seize no evil, ears no evil, and nose no evil.
Self-made man: A horrible example of unskilled labor.
Self-sacrifice: to sacrifice others without blushing.
Selfishness is a vice we see it only in others.
Semiconductor:  A part-time orchestra leader.
Semper Fidelis
SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
Senility means never having to drink just to forget.
Seniors are years ahead.
Serfs up  -- Spartacus.
Seriousness is the very next step to being dull.
Seven course meal: A pizza and a six pack of Budweiser.
Sex and death, two things that occur once in a lifetime.
Sex in a Volkswagen = Farfergnookie.
Sex is hereditary. If your parents didn't, you won't.
Sex is like an industrial film covered in fur..
Sex is not a answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer
Sex isn't the best nor the worst thing in the world.
SEX!!  Now that I have your attention......
Shake off your heavy trance! And leap into a dance.
Shake well before and after use.
Shake, a man of note, wrote so many things to quote.
Shame is an ornament to the young, a disgrace to the old.
Shamed be he who thinks evil of it.
Share your happiness with others today.
Shared pain is lessened;  shared joy is increased.
Shareware author dies:  .GIF at eleven.
Shareware it only works if you pay.
Shareware, crippleware, annoyware, underwear.
Shareware? Reminds me of a girl in my high school.
Sharp wits, like sharp knives, often cut their owner.
Sharper than an asp's tooth to have a thankless child.
Shatner, when the wig fell.
She can't take much more of this Captain.
She devotes her spare time to neglecting duties.
She got pregnant simply because she hated rabbits.
She has been under more drunken sailors than a naval head
She is descended from a line that her mother listened to.
She kept saying I didn't listen to her -- or something.
She likes me!  She stole my tagline!
She said "You get three wishes, what are the other two ?"
She'll be a P... C... user! Got disks in her drives!
She's been on more laps than a napkin.
She's dead, Jim.  But don't worry - she'll come back as a Romulan.
She's dying, Doctor.-- Sharaz Jek.
She's looking at menopause in a rear-view mirror.
Sheesh! You start havin' fun, and they send the lawyers!
Sherman, set the Way-Back Machine for 1492.
SHHHH! Be vewy quiet -- I'm hunting FOREBEARS.
Shhhh...I'm stealing taglines.
Shhhhhh.....the topic cops are coming.
Shill: Guy who loses $2000 at a table, & leaves smiling.
SHIN - A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Shin - Device for finding furniture in the dark
Shoplifters with the runs always take Clepto Bismol.
Should old acquaintance be forgot - Count of Monte Cristo
Shouldn't you be doing something useful?
Shouldn't you go back to lurking now?
Show & Tell: Lecture by Gypsy Rose Lee.
Show affection, it may result in a pleasant response.
Show me a good tagline... And I'll steal it.
Show me a sane man.  I'll cure him for you.
Show respect for age.  Drink good Scotch for a change.
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.
Si jeunesse savoit, si vieillesse pouvoit.
Sick pay is a form of ill-gotten gains.
Sick Pay: Ill-gotten gains.
Silence is evidence of a superb command of the language.
Silence is more eloquent at times than words.
Silent gratitude isn't of much value to anyone.
Silly rabbit, tricks are for hookers.
Silly wabbit.....QWKs are for QWKidds.
Silver and gold make even pigs seem clean.
Simple rule: If you don't treat me right, shame on you.
Sim_Companion V1.0: (S)cream (W)hat now, Doctor? (G)et rescued
Sin has many tools, a lie is only handle for them all.
SIN OF OMISSION:   Any sin that you forgot to commit.
Since GOD spelled backwards is DOG, is my poodle Satan?
Since life goes on - you might as well get on with it.
Since prehistoric man, no battle has ever gone as planned
Since she won't live forever, why give her a diamond?
Since vegetarians eat vegetables, beware of humanitarians
Since we all move so slow, why is it called rush hour?
Sinner: A stupid person who gets found out.
Sir Lancelot, you have chain mail in Knight's Conference.
Sit down, you're rocking the boat.
Skeptics are seldom deceived.
Skier: Someone who pays an arm and a leg to break them.
Sleep is a poor substitute for caffeine.
Sleep warm, love well and carry a big stick.
SLEEP? I'm a SYSOP!
SLEEP? NEVER! I'm a consultant.
Small problems seem insurmountable to small minds.
Smell my tagline.
Smile and everyone wonders what you've been up to.
Smile if you are wearing sexy underwear.
Smile you may meet a person who will play with your life.
Smile, but sharpen your knives.
Smog makes haze while the sun shines.
Smoke a doobie while driving - leave no turn unstoned.
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
Smokey the Bear says: Strip mining prevents forest fires.
Smoking cures weight problems... eventually.
Smoking is one of leading causes of statistics.
Snails' pace: .00758 mph.
Snozzelberry? Who ever heard of a snozzelberry?
So crowded in here, I must go outside to change my mind.
So dumb: Chewing the stick, not sucking the lollipop.
So I said to my boyfriend, "Don't be a fool! We'll take the million!"
So I'm having a wonderful time but I'd rather B modeming in the dark!
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
So long, and thanks for all the taglines
So many messages ... So little time left.
So many taglines, so little time.
So much for No New TAXES, I'm giving up lip-reading.
So where did we all come from? Stop acting like a monkey.
So YOU are the one stealing all my Taglines, Keith!!!
So, how long shall we STARE at each other across the Neutral Zone?
So, Who thought up Taglines, Anyway??
Society like air, is necessary but not complete for life.
Society prepares the crime; the criminal commits it.
Software independent: Won't work with ANY software.
Software, hardware, -- is that you talking Sigmund?
Solution Series: Works for Windows, Publisher and Money
Solve the problems of the world: Vote anarchist.
Some are wise; others are otherwise....
Some assembly required.
Some assembly required: the whole damned thing.
Some authors should be paid by the quantity NOT written.
Some believe their life sentence is take up room and die.
Some bosses call passing the buck delegating authority.
Some climb the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
Some cures are worse than the disease.
Some days it take effort to just keep up with the losers.
Some days the only good thing on TV is the vase.
Some days you're a bug, other days a windshield.
Some days, I'd kill Flipper for a good tuna sandwich.
Some days, rocking a boat is the way to get things done.
Some farewells are easier than others.
Some little dip stick stole all my good taglines...
Some lives are as a lamp that flickers but cannot flare.
Some lose their tempers from seeing you keep yours.
Some men are discovered, others are found out.
Some men without a god are like fish without bicycles.
Some nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Some of us just die, others of us live on.
Some people are born stupid, others work to acquire it.
Some people are like a Don Quayle without the intellect.
Some people aren't equipped to attend a meeting of minds
Some people can't succeed at anything, even suicide.
Some people grasp stupidity as though it were a virtue.
Some people push for a tofu-free work environment.
Some rise by sin and some by virtue fall.
Some settling may have occurred in shipping.
Some stock market investors go stock-raving mad.
Some taglines SHOULD be turned of������
Some things have to be believed to be seen.
Some thoughts are best guillotined before actions result.
Some TV shows are so dull they should have yawn tracks.
Some winners rely upon miracles without believing in them
Some women get excited about nothing, then marry him.
Some would change a bad shirt instead of a bad mind.
Some zoophilic dreams are really wild.
Someone is speaking well of you.
Someone is unenthusiastic about your work.
Someone superglued all my bytes onto my hard drive.
Someone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow.
someonelemmeoutaherethisplaceisfullanuts!!
Something will have to be done, something irresponsible.
Sometimes a tagline is just a tagline.
Sometimes even fools make good suggestions.
Sometimes I sit and think, sometimes I sit and stink.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy...other times I let her sleep.
Sometimes it takes a fool to rush in to get the job done.
Sometimes the fax lie.
Sometimes the fool who rushes in gets the job done best.
Sometimes the truth is the worst horror.
Sometimes you get the bear, sometimes the bear gets you.
Sometimes, the only solution is to find a new problem.
Soooo... We are in Law Enforcment. -Worf-
Sorry, a fatal error has occurred. You're dead.
Sorry, can't think of an insult stupid enough for you.
Sorry, gotta go... My regeneration is starting...
Sorry, No Taglines available for this topic...
Sound really has almost nothing to do with true music.
Spaceballs: The Tagline
Spaghetti code = job security.
Sparky's Law: You must say something cute here!
Speak kind words, and you will hear wonderful echoes.
Speak of braggarts: talking of those lacking something.
Specifications subject to change without notice.
Speculation is the return lane of the road to knowledge.
Speed Kills - Use Windows!
Speed kills!  Switch to Windows...
SPEED READ does everything but think up new taglines!
Speed things up, make pre-aged wine from old raisins.
Split hairs any finer and you'll end up with split ends.
Spock, I though you were dead!"    "I rebooted, Captain."
Spock/Data '96  The Logical Choice.
Spock? Why aren't you dead?
Spongecake:  Dessert made of borrowed ingredients.
Spooks are a breed apart.
Spring makes everything young again except humans.
Spring: When anglers get that faraway lake in their eyes.
ST:TNG Diner - Now Featuring Our All You Can Assimilate SmorgasBORG!
Standards are Wonderful!  So many to pick from!
Standards are wonderful.  So very many to choose from.
Standing on head makes smile of frown for mouth only.
Star Trek Continuity ERROR: (A)bort, (R)ewrite, (I)gnore?
Start a family only if your parents are able to baby sit.
Start off every day with a smile and get it over with.
Start slow and taper off.
Starting a new era in tagline lunacy!
Starve a feeding bureaucrat...vote Libertarian.
State Dept. of Unnecessary Double Redundancies Dept.
State Dept. of Unnecessary Double Redundancies Section.
Statistics are human beings with the tears wiped off.
Status Quo--Latin for the mess we are in.
Stay away from flying saucers today.
Stay away from hurricanes for a while.
Stay with me, I want to be alone.
Steal this tagline and you're going to get a spanking!
Stealing taglines is an addictive hobby.
Stealing taglines one at a time is for the discerning.
Stealing Taglines, eh?  Book him for "grand theft motto."
Stealing taglines, eh?  Book `em for "Grand Theft Motto
Stealth means never having to say you're sorry.
Steers don't grow up to be cow boys.
Stick to your talent and the cows will be well tended.
Stick \'stik\ n. 1: A boomerang that doesn't work
STILL HERE? The message is over.... Go Home.   Go On!
Stolen tagline recovered! Theives still at large.
Stolen Taglines - 'R - Us.
Stolen taglines are the sincerest form of flattery.
Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you.
Stop spelling misteaks: use error correcting modems.
Stop tagline theft! Copyright your tagline (c)
Stop!  Thief!  He Stole My Tagline!
Straight trees have crooked roots.
Strange but not a stranger...
Streakers repent! Your end is in sight.
Strength of mind: Person who can eat one salted peanut.
Stress - n. Doing a 180-degree turn at Warp 9.95.
Stretch pants: What Lassie does when the show runs under.
Strings, Percussion, and Celesta - Bartok WAS Country!
Strip mining prevents forest fires.
Strive for the impossible or you shall wither.
Stroking a furry pussy will get you scratched.
Studies show that 8 out of 5 schizophrenics agree...
Study as if life is eternal, knowing tomorrow you may die
Stulti timent fortunam sapientes ferunit.
Stupid: Being unable to find your own butt in the dark.
Stupidity has no limits, genius does.
Stupidity is no excuse for not thinking.
Stupidity is not a handicap.  You have to park elsewhere.
Stupidity is not considered a handicap, park elsewhere.
Sub omni lapide scorpio dormit.
Subliminal:  Send me $1000 in small, unmarked bills.
Submitted for your approval.
Subway: A place so crowded even all men can't get seats.
Success is making it to the top of the food chain!
Success is simply a matter of luck.  Ask any failure.
Success of those we dislike proves that luck exists.
Succumb to natural tendencies.  Be hateful and boring.
Suddenly someone is there in the restroom, A Girl with Colitis Goes By.
Suicidal twin kills brother by mistake.
Superior firepower is invaluable when negotiations start.
Support FREE software.  Write it yourself.
Support Pacifism: Get out & fight for what you believe in
Suppress that thought.
Sure I can help you out, which way did you come in?
Sure, drinking kills brain cells, but only the weak ones.
Sure, when OINK FLAP OINK FLAP ... I'll be damned.
Surly to bed, and surly to rise.
Surprise due today.  Also the rent.
Surprise the world.  Get to work on time today.
Sussh. Be vewwy quiet, I'm hunting tagwines. hahahahah.
Swap read error.  You lose your mind.
Swell-head: Nature's frantic effort to fill a vacuum.
Synonym: A word you use when you can't spell the other.
Syntax Error in KITCHEN.H : COFFEE not found.
Syntax?, Why not, everything else is taxed!
Sysop cut off his access! Why? Complete lack of humor in his Taglines!
SYSOP: The guy that is laughing at your typing.
Sysoping, not just an adventure, sometimes it's emesis.
Sysoping: More fun than being beaten with a sledgehammer.
SYSTEM ERROR 1303 : POWER NOT ON
SYSTEM ERROR:  press F13 to continue.
System Failure.  Push (B)ullshit  (W)hine  (S)urrender.
System halted... hit <ALT-ENT> to continue...
Tablet:  A small table.
Tabloid: A newspaper with a permanent crime wave.
Tact is knowing how far to go in going too far.
Tact is the intelligence of the heart.
Tact: Describing others as they see themselves.
Tact: Recalling a lady's birthday but forgetting her age.
Tag line thievery..Comin' up next on Geraldo.
Tag line thievery..Coming up next on Geraldo.
Tag lines are irrelevant if you don't understand them.
Tagito ergo sum  (I Tag, therefore I am).
Tagless messages just look naked somehow...
Tagline (n): High Technology bumper sticker.
Tagline affixed in compliance with Stuffed Articles Act.
Tagline delivery delayed due to bad roads.
Tagline error, Steal another? (Y/n)
Tagline fever is the primary symptom of the Blue Wave epidemic!!
Tagline For Sale CHEAP.   Send $20.00 to Cal Webster.
Tagline II: The Sequel.
Tagline Lotto:           <- Scratch here to reveal prize.
Tagline Lotto: ����������<- Scratch here to reveal prize.
Tagline missing. User deleted.
Tagline not found -- Please notify Sysop!
Tagline not found.  User twitted.
Tagline readers do it on the bottom.
TagLine Serial No.10397 - (C) 1990, All rights reserved
Tagline shortage. Please help recycle Taglines.
Tagline space to let.  Inquire within.
Tagline stealing is the sincerest form of flattery.
Tagline Stealing: Official sport of the AUTORACE echo.
Tagline stolen by SLMR20 from SLMR105 from SLMR10.
Tagline theft isn't a crime, it's an art.
Tagline thievery . . . On the next Oprah!
Tagline unfunny. Steal anyway? [Y/n]
Tagline void where prohibited by moderator..
Tagline, tagline, wherefore art thou?
Tagline, You're it!
TAGLINE: A line that does the work of many (lines) !
Tagline: Universal Wisdom in 45 bytes.
TAGLINE: Your last chance to piss someone off.
Tagline? What's that? Are we taxing it?- Obscure politician..
Taglines - Bumper Stickers of the '90's
Taglines - the REAL reason for echomail
Taglines are almost as bad as bumper stickers.
Taglines are for fun...
Taglines are for idiots.
Taglines are for morons.
Taglines are for wimps
Taglines are like cats - you only think you own them.
Taglines are like sex and ZIP files: You give and use and still have!
Taglines cause cancer.
Taglines make great Christmas gifts.
Taglines mean nothing to me!
Taglines that make you go "Hmmm..."
Taglines unite! Stop kidnapping of taglines.
Taglines wanted (of course)
Taglines wanted!
Taglines! Taglines! I like Cal Webster Taglines!
Taglines, Mr. Scudder..!! Zillions of 'em..!!.
Taglines...one line freedom of speech!
Taglines: FACT OR FICTION?   On the next In Search Of...
Taglines: The most fun you can have with your pants on.
TAGLINES: Things that make you go 'Hmmm.....'
TAGLINES: who cares where they come from...?.
Taglines?  Taglines?  I doan wan' no stinkin' taglines!
Taglines?? I thought you asked to see my tanlines!
Tagteam:  A bunch of people thinking up taglines.
Take egotism out, and you castrate the benefactors.
Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
Take my advice...I'm not using it.
Take the bull by the hand, and don't mix metaphors.
Take two aspirin and call the consultant.
Take two crows and caw me in the morning.
Take two taglines and call me in the morning..
Take what you can use and let the rest go by.
Take your levity whenever and wherever you can find it.
Talk about memory, this system includes a sense of guilt.
Talk is cheap because Supply exceeds Demand ..
Talk is cheap because the supply exceeds the demand.
Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
Talk is cheap...except when Congress does it.
Talking is another disease of age.
Talking of bulls is not like being in the bull ring.
Tamarian mugger: Timbir, his arms up, NOW!
Tamarian pornography:  Madonna, behind the green door.
TARDIS Express:  When it absolutely must be there BEFORE you send it!
tasteful words.  You might have to eat them.
Tax reform: Don't tax you or me, tax that fellow there.
Tax Shelter- A way to spend a buck to save fifty cents.
Taxation is little more than legalized extortion.
Taxidermy Cafe: Let us stuff you.
TBakerDos 4.0: (A)bort (R)etry (J)elly Baby
Teacher (according to a child): A non-violent mother.
Teaching: Appearing to have known your subject forever.
Teamwork is essential it allows you to blame someone else
Technicians tinker.  Engineers tearit up.
Technobabble limit exceeded. Del JARGON.EXE Y/y?
Teenager: Having tunnel vision and selective hearing.
Teenagers are your punishment for enjoying sex!
Telecommunications is a bit far-fetched.
Teleportation affects your orientation.
Television proves people will look at except each other.
Television: Society's best pesticide for the reading bug.
Tell me again why you named your kid "Rasputin?"
Tell me Doctor, where are we goin' this time?
Tell me, am I supposed to be pleased or frightened?
Tell no big lies today.  Small ones are just as effective
Tend the molehills, the mountains look after themselves.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Terminally clueless!!
Terminate!  The terminal program that lets all the others die in peace.
Terok Nor-- where seriousness is Off-Topic.
Terok Nor...Let Freedom Sing!
Terok Nor: "Come out from among them, and be ye separate." 2 COR 6:17
Terok Nor: relax in the infamous Tub o' Jello or the EchoDarkCorner!
Testing 1 2 3. Hey, is this thing on?
Texas Barbecue, if you can taste the meat someone goofed.
Th-th-th-that's all, folks.
Thank God that a person can have only one MIL at a time.
Thank you for observing all safety precautions.
Thanks for the tagline.  :-)
That concept looks like a chicken in a windstorm.
That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.
That must be wonderful. I don't understand it at all.
That should clear out your sinuses.
that tagline is TRUE --> <-- that tagline is FALSE
That tagline is TRUE ->  "x"  <- That tagline is FALSE.
That tagline is TRUE ->  <- That tagline is FALSE.
That was a pointing device? My cat thought it was dinner.
That was definitely the LAST bug, take my word for it.
That was then, this is now.
That which can be imagined can also actually be reality.
That will teach exactly what to whom?
That's a smug aura of respectability you see in a mirror?
That's not a bug, it's a Free Enhanced Feature!
That's not a bug, it's an undocumented feature.
That's odd -- I had a tagline when I came in here...
That's right friends we got tribble!  Right here in River City!
That's right, try hard to be good at the game of life.
That's the trouble with regeneration: U never know what you'll get.
The 10 Commandments: The taglines Moses stole from God.
The Adventures of WIN.INI the Pooh - by W. Gates.
The answer is easier when the question is hypothetical.
The arrogance of age must submit to be taught by youth.
The backup isn't over until the FAT table sings.
The best armor is to keep out of range.
The best audience: Intelligent, well-educated, and drunk.
The best blood at times gets into fools and mosquitoes.
The best defense against logic is stupidity.
The best doctor is the one you hunt for and can't find.
The best draftees are married men, they take orders.
The best government teaches us to govern ourselves.
The best insomnia cure is a good night's sleep.
The best laid plans often go a fowl.
The best prophet of the future is the past.
The best water doesn't come in fancy bottles.
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
The best way to accelerate a Mac is at -9.8 m/s�
The best way to accelerate a PC clone is at -9.8 m/s�
The best way to get ahead is to use the one you've got.
The best way to keep your word is not to give it.
The best way to love your neighbor is when your boyfriend is away.
The best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut.
The bigger the bankroll, the tighter the band around it.
The bird of war is not the eagle but the stork.
The Borg assimilated my race & all I got was this T shirt.
The Borg Cable Co: The subscriber's wishes are irrelevant.
The Boy Scouts is like the army with adult supervision.
The boys may be marching, but they know not where.
The buck doesn't even slow down here.
The buck stops at the desk over there.
The buck stops at the next desk.
The buck stops here, the doe just visits.
The butler did it.
The Caldecott Tunnel has less traffic than that vagina.
The cautious seldom err.
The characters in this message are recyclable.
The chief cause of problems is solutions.
The child had every toy his father wanted.
The Children of Davros shall rule!
The choice: Roll over or stand up to the challenge.
The Church of St. Humid the Incontinent.
The cinema is not a slice of life but a piece of cake.
The city is not a concrete jungle.  It is a human zoo.
The client who pays the least, always complains the most.
The consumer is not a moron, it is your spouse.
The cost of feathers has risen, now even down is up.
The course of true anything never does run smoothly.
The covers of some books are too far apart.
The Day of Judgement is approaching, or it is not.
The deeper the sorrow, the less tongue hath it.
The desire to work is confined to classified ads.
The destination is unknown at the start of many journeys.
The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
The devil falls on account of his gravity.
The discontented man finds no easy chair.
The dispensing of injustice is always in the right hands.
The Doctor's not as big a moron as he was.  Smarter?  No, thinner.
The dog ate my .REP packet.
The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only heavier.
The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only much heavier
The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am!   - Darth Vader -ROTJ
The end is what usually justifies the diet.
The eventual supremacy of reason should be accepted.
The fastest ewes and slowest rams produce the virgin wool
The fewer our wants, the more we resemble the gods.
The first myth of management is that management exists.
The first sigh of love is the last of wisdom.
The first step towards philosophy is incredulity.
The first wealth is health.
The fish in the sea are as good as the fish removed.
The flogging will continue until the morale improves.
The footprint of the owner is the best manure.
The four food groups: coffee, ice cream, beer and pizza.
The French take care of themselves - except in wartime.
The future is not what it used to be.
The future's uncertain and the end is always near.
The General Theory of Relativity is too specific.
The gods play games with men as balls.
The Gold Latinum Card. Don't leave orbit without it.
The good old days: Beer foamed and dishwater didn't.
The graveyards are full of indispensable people.
The greater the ignorance the greater the dogmatism.
The greatest cunning is to have none at all.
The greatest fault is to be conscious of none.
The greatest headaches are those we cause ourselves.
The happy and the powerful never willingly go into exile.
The hard disk you save may be your own.
The hardest years are between 10 and 70.
The heart is wiser than the intellect.
The highest bidder catches the most politicians.
The hole and the patch should be commensurate.
The hot dog is the homeless eagle of free enterprise.
The human race is still in beta test.
The Icarus Class starship had problems when it flew too near the sun.
The incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is.
The invisible tagline.
The laborer is worthy of his hire, only if his labor is.
The last sound that it made was "Zap."
The law disregards trifles, has it spoken to you recently
The law disregards trifles, what is this dessert called?
The law hath not been dead, though it hath slept.
The law neither does nor requires idle acts, wake up.
The law of intelligent tinkering: save all the parts.
The less a statesman amounts to the more he loves a flag.
The less things change, the more they remain the same.
The light seen at an end of a tunnel is at the wrong end.
The living world is a continuum in each and every aspect.
The longer the title, the less important the job.
The luck ordained for you will be coveted by others.
The magic of Windows - turn a 486-50 into a 4MHz XT...
The man who dies with the most toys is dead.
The mark of a true MBA : often wrong, but seldom in doubt
The meek may inherit earth. Those who dare, the stars.
The meek shall inherit the earth, but no mineral rights.
The mind grows by what it feeds upon.
The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out.
The moderator's back, and we're gonna be in trouble...
The moderator's back, we'd better stop this conversation.
The moon isn't waxing, it's dusting and vacuuming rugs.
The moon may be smaller than Earth, but it's further away
The moon seems smaller than earth, but it's farther away.
The more known about people, the more to admire in dogs.
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
The more you run over a cat, the flatter is gets.
The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
The most expensive component always breaks first.
The most magnificent person, (GENE CHAO)
The most popular form of birth control: The headache.
The most useless computer tasks are the most fun to do
The mother of all taglines.
The mouse with a single hole is quickly caught by the cat
The music's kinda nice. My compliments to the clef.
The next tagline is recommended for mature readers only.
The number one computer bug is mankind!
The object of war is to allow them die for their country.
The OFFICIAL tagline of the 1996 Olympics!
The old make the rules, the young make up the exceptions.
The older I get, it seems the better I used to be.
The one who dies with the most taglines wins.
The only argument with the wind is to put on a coat.
The only certainty is that nothing is certain.
The only chance I get to talk is while my wife inhales.
The only difference between her and it is the lipstick.
The only heavy breathing I ever hear is after aerobics.
The only realities are the atoms and empty space.
The only red menace in America is the sunburn.
The only road to success is always under construction.
The only roses without thorns are love and friendship.
The only thing more reliable than magic is one's friends.
The only thing worse than a sorcerer is his apprentice.
The only time I open my mouth is to change feet!
The only victory over love is flight.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it
The only way to judge the future is by knowing the past.
The only winner of the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.
The orator, with a flood of words a his drop of reason.
The organization and definition of knowledge is critical.
The other line always moves faster.
The past always looks better than it was when it was here
The past is not what it will be.
The past should be a mental springboard - not a hammock.
The pen is the tongue of the mind.
The picture of health requires a happy frame of mind.
The plural of spouse is spice.
The Poles are now telling free market jokes.
The price of greatness is responsibility.
The probability of success if not almost 1 is usually 0.
The problem is not if machines think, but if people do.
The proof is the phylogeny of plant-animal interactions.
The proof of a system's value is its existence.
The purification of politics is an iridescent dream.
The question is: "(2 * B!) OR NOT(2 * B!)"
The race from stupidity is to the driven, not the swift.
The Ranger isn't going to like it, Yogi.
The ratchet wheel of politics is self-destructive greed.
The ripest fruit falls first.
The road to a friend's house is never difficult nor long.
The roots of honesty and virtue lie in a good education.
The San Francisco Ku Klux Klan wears topless sheets.
The scenery only changes for the lead dog.
The sea hath bounds, but deep desire hath none.
The sea hath bounds, but true deep desire hath none.
The shortest answer is doing.
The shortest distance between two puns: a straight line.
The show-off is always shown-up in a show-down.
The solution to a problem changes the problem.
The Sons of Soong are together at last...
The soul would have no rainbows if the eyes had no tears.
The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack.
The stranger, the better.
The sun always rises on the most tired people.
The sun is never the worse for shining on a dunghill.
The sun shines even on the most wicked of people.
The test: Behavior in times of controversy and challenge.
The thing most generally raised on land is taxes.
The time is right to make new friends.
The tree of liberty is watered with the blood of tyrants.
The trodden path is the safest.
The trouble with a kitten is that, eventually it's a cat.
The truth doesn't hurt unless it ought to.
The truth is one thing that nobody will believe.
The truth, if you recognize, will clear out your sinuses.
The Tsongas ended, but the malady lingers on.
The UARTs won't take this speed, Captain.
The universe is a figment of it's own imagination.
The universe is laughing behind your back.
The Universe was dictated but never signed.
The wages of sin go unreported.
The warranty: Bold print giveth & fine print taketh away.
The way to a man's heart is through his veins
The weed of crime bears bitter fruit.
The welfare of the people is the chief law.
The wife of a careless man is almost a widow.
The wildest colts make the best steeds.
The wise learn more from fools than fools from the wise.
The woman cries before the wedding; the man afterward.
The world is a beautiful book, for those who can read it.
The world is coming to an end --- please log off now.
The world is like a cactus except the pricks are inside.
The world of today is run by "C" students of yesterday.
The world, as we know it, has come to an end.
The world: A comedy for thinkers; a tragedy for feelers.
The worst hatred is that of relatives.
The worst possible set of circumstances is bound to occur
The worst thing about censorship is .
The worst thing about censorship is ��������.
The worst thing men is that when not drunk they are sober
The written word preserves the wonders of the human mind.
The wrong way always seems the more reasonable.
The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.
Theater: Holding a mirror up to a keyhole.
Theft is illegal because the gov't hates the competition!
Them that has the taglines make the rules.
There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
There are good five-cent cigars, but they cost two bits.
There are many ways to show affection.
There are more dead than living and they are increasing.
There are more old drunkards than old doctors.
There are no answers at best a few possibly good guesses.
There are no limits for journeys of the mind.
There are some defeats more triumphant than victories.
There are three things that come next, uh four.
There are two reasons for doing: one good, the other real
There are two sides to a question, politicians take both.
There go my people.  I must follow for I am their leader.
There is a certain light within a man of light.
There is a skeleton in every old house and old horse.
There is absolutely no right way to do a wrong thing.
There is always a law against doing anything interesting.
There is always a mistake just waiting for you to make.
There is always someone worse off than yourself.
There is more at stake here than our lives.
There is never truth without sufficient proof.
There is no defense except stupidity against a new idea.
There is no gravity, the earth sucks.
There is no joy in Mudville, mighty Casey has struck out.
There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
There is no such thing as bravery; only degrees of fear.
There is nothing more impartial than a hanging judge.
There is nothing to scratch but the surface.
There is only one sure way to throw dice: away.
There isn't a door which can stop a lover or a cat.
There isn't nearly enough filk around here for my taste...
There she was just a purrin next to me; Do wa kitty kitty dum kitty do
There was this door to which I found no key.
There was this veil through which I could not see.
There were computers in Biblical times. Eve had an Apple.
There will be big changes for you but you will be happy.
There's a brain in my tumor.
There's a Pakled born every minute.  - P.T. LaForge.
There's a time to fight, and a time to hide out.
There's a whole generation of people out there my age.
There's a Yankee in my closet - will trade for skeleton.
There's always one more bug.
There's always one more SOB than you counted on.
There's an answer to every problem.  Sometimes it's "No."
There's at least one fool in every married couple.
There's bound to be a gargoyle here somewhere.
There's many a slip 'twixt the book and the script.
There's never a cop around when you need one.
There's no accounting for taste.
There's no future in time travel.
There's no place like home.
There's no second chance for a good first impression.
There's no skeletons in my closet.
There's no such thing as gravity.  The whole world sucks.
There's nothing wrong with DOS that Unix wouldn't fix.
There's so much to say but your eyes keep interrupting me
There's something inside your head...
Thesaurus: ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary
These are the George Bush times that try men's soles.
These are the times that really try men's soles.
These aren't dances.  Their fertility rites with lyrics.
These days there's no arrest for the wicked.
These taglines multipy faster than Tribbles.
They also serve who only stand and wait.
They are slaves who fear to speak for the fallen & weak.
They do not love that do not show their love.
They know enough who know how to learn.
They never let you live it down. One little mistake.
They that sow the wind, will reap the whirlwind.
They who dig pits shall end falling into them.
They who drink beer will think beer.
They're only taglines.... only taglines.....
They're only trying to make me LOOK paranoid.
Things are getting so bad, muggers won't go out alone.
Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
Things are not always as they seem.
Things could only be worse in Cleveland.
Things happen fast, history books add a chapter a week.
Things will get worse before they get better, if they do.
Think and you won't sink.
Think carefully before wishing, it might just come true.
Think hard now.  Which one is Shinola?
Think much, speak little, and write less.
Think of me when you hear a clock strike... --The Doctor
Think you got it bad. My other PC is an Osborne.
Thinking ill of someone can be a two-way street.
Thinking up new taglines, now THAT is hard.
This ain't as good as sex---but it's safer these days.
This BBS has achieved Air superiority.
This book ruined courtesy of Terrance "Novel in a Night" Dicks.
This bug's for you.
This button doesn't do anything.  Please press it again.
This computer protected by an attack tagline.
This contest has to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
This country needs more unemployed politicians.
This discussion is hanging by a thread.
This door is baroque; please call Bach later.
This fellow's wise enough to play the fool.
This file will self-destruct in five minutes.
This fortune intentionally not included.
This guy walks into a bar....
This is a *dangerous* place.
This is a chain tagline.  I have now been stolen 8 times.
This is a copy of a completely original tagline .
This is a good day to let down old friends who need help.
This is a stolen tagline
This is a tagline on a message. Any Questions?
This is a TAGLINE, this is a TAGLINE on drugs!!!!!!!!
This is a test of the emergency tagline stealing system.
This is a test of the Emergency Tagline System
This is a test tagline...
This is a test.  Please ignore -- oops, too late ;').
This is an ATM: Press F1 for $20  F2 for $50 and wait.
This is another fine myth you've gotten me into.
This is my tagline and you can't have it.
This is my tagline, and you can not have it.HMPF!nananana
This is only a test. Had this been an actual tagline...
This is the Genester reporting live from the studio, back to ya Tim!!!
This is the tagline to end all taglines.
This is the voice of world control.  I have brought peace
This is what it sounds like when Morn cries...
This isn't a tagline, but it plays one on TV
This LAN is your LAN, this LAN is my LAN...
This lonely tagline seeking a mate.
This machine is an instrument of terror.
This message and Tagline (C) Copyright 1994.
This mouse is loaded, who's the designated driver?
This off-topic thread will take a permanent vacation...
This open hand of desire wants everything.
This rerun due to Tagline Writer's strike.
This screen is microwave, dishwasher and fly safe.
This sentense contains three errurs
This software will eliminate all misakes.
This tag contains 6,666% U.S. RDA for this conference.
This tagline also stolen by Silly Little Mail Reader!
This Tagline brought to you by Intelligence INC.
This tagline cancelled due to lack of interest
This tagline censored by the moderator <snicker>.
This tagline censored by the moderator.
This tagline contains 100% �n�n�w� ��b��s.
This tagline contains a virus - DO NOT READ!
This tagline contains an exploding dye pack.
This tagline contains no Polychlorinated Byphenals.
This tagline Copyright 1991 (C) All rights reserved. :-)
This tagline Copyright 1994 (C) All rights reserved.
This tagline exploits the illiterate.
This tagline handcrafted in Canada..
This tagline has a Limpet mine attached to it.
This tagline intentionally left blank
This tagline invisible to all whose I.Q. exceeds mine.
This tagline is $hareWare! To register, please send $20
This tagline is baroque; please call Bach.
This tagline is copy protected
This tagline is currently out of order.
This Tagline is Death-Trapped. Stay Away.
This tagline is dedicated to my bird friend..
This Tagline is especially for kleptomaniacs!
This Tagline is for sale.  Call 1-800-TAG-THIS!
This tagline is identical to the one you are reading.
This tagline is indecipherable!!
This tagline is inoperative.  Please try another.
This tagline is made just for you.
This tagline is made just for Keith Scudder.
This tagline is only for the living.
This tagline is part of your twisted imagination
This tagline is self-referential.
This tagline is Serial # 0812/BTB-9593.50
This tagline is Serial # 0928/CAW-9645.53
This tagline is Serial # 2377/AFR-1104.991
This tagline is SHAREWARE!  To register, send me $10
This tagline is SHAREWARE! To register, send $20.
This tagline is shareware, register it for $10.00.
This tagline is umop apisdn
This tagline is umop apisdn (Spaszoid Strikes!)
This tagline is umop apisdn.
This tagline is under repair.  Thank you.
This tagline made from 100% recycled electrons! Recycle your taglines!
This tagline no verb.
This tagline not sponsored by Pepsi in any way.
THIS TAGLINE NOT TO BE REMOVED UNDER PENALTY OF LAW.
This tagline printed with 100% recycled photons.
This tagline protected by an attack cat.
This tagline recommended for mature readers
This tagline self destructs when you hit <ENTER>
This tagline self-destructs when U <ENTER>
This tagline SHAREWARE.  Send $5. Send to The Cave BBS!
This tagline stolen by me, or was it you?
This tagline stolen by Off-Line Xpress!
This tagline stolen by Silly Little Mail Reader
This TAGLINE stops at all railroad crossings..!
This Tagline Under Surveillance by the Pinkerton Agency !
This tagline utterly lacks class, but is very cute
This tagline vibrates if you rub it the right way.
This tagline was made to be stolen!
This tagline was missing, so I filled something in...
This tagline was never here.
This tagline will self destruct in 15 seconds.
This Tagline Will Self Implode -- <mooB>
This tagline will self-destruct in 15-million nanoseconds.
This Tagline will self-destruct in 5 seconds!
This tagline will self-destruct in 5-million nanoseconds
This tagline, like the message, is worthless.
This �� tagline has �� some �� bugs in it.
This �� tagline has �� a lot of �� bugs in �� it.
This �� tagline is �� slightly �� buggy. ��
Thomas Edison invented the "Light Emitting Resistor".
Those on the cutting edge bleed a lot.
Those who can't write, write manuals.
Those who can, do.  Those who can't, simulate.
Those who do not think do not deserve to have a brain.
Those who fought for it know the true taste of freedom.
Those whom the gods love grow young.
Those without heads do not need hats.
Thought I wouldn't notice you sneaking off, eh?
Thousands of journeys have a start but no end.
Thrift is a wonderful virtue - in an ancestor.
Throw the keyboard out the window to continue.
Tigger of Borg:  ASSIMILATING! That's what Tiggers do best!
Tilting at windmills hurts you more than the windmills.
Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Time flies like wind.  Fruit flies like pears.
Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.
Time for my morning SysEx dump.
Time goes? No.  Alas time stays, we go.
Time heals all wounds, but the belly button remains.
Time is precious, but truth is more so.
Time is so everything doesn't happen at once.
Time is the dressmaker specializing in alterations.
Time on your hands? . . . get Windows.
Time really flies when you don't know what you're doing.
Time slows if you're on the outside of the bathroom door.
Time takes time.
Time: an illusion perpetrated by the makers of space.
Tip the world and everything loose lands in Los Angeles.
Tips: Wages we pay other people's hired help.
TLX steals taglines..... not me!
To a cat, "NO!" means "Not while I'm looking."
To a dog his owner is Napoleon; hence their popularity.
To avoid seeing a fool, break your mirror.
To be a Californian means to have faults others don't.
To be a human without passion is to be dead.
To be or not to be...  What a stupid question.
To be too clever is to be stupid.
To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.
To be, or what?
To brighten up your boyfriend's evening, sit with him in the dark.
To climb a ladder, you begin with the bottom rung.
To complete tagline fill in the blanks _____ ______ _____ _____
To cure insomnia, get lots of sleep.
To do nothing is in every person's power.
To do two things at once is to do neither
To eat is human. To digest divine.
To err is human and stupid.
To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
To err is human.  And stupid.
To err is human.  To purr feline.
To excel at what you do, you must love doing it.
To excel when you try, always reach for the brass ring.
To get ahead and stay ahead, use your head.
To get back on your feet, miss two car payments.
To give happiness is to deserve happiness.
To iterate is human;  to recurse, divine.
To keep your milk sweet, leave it in the cow.
To know a culture you must dirty your feet in its soil.
To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.
To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.
To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die.
To live long, it is necessary to live slowly.
To live now, first come to terms with your past.
To live well, know the difference between good and evil.
To love her was a liberal education.
To make pleasures pleasant, shorten them.
To not discern the important, makes you unimportant.
To publish is to appear in public with your pants down.
To read tagline.   Please enter password: _
To really know a relative, divide an inheritance with him
To reform a man, begin with his grandmother.
To refuse praise is to seek praise twice.
To return home, you must walk backwards in time & space.
To risk nothing is to risk everything.
To some, sex is second best to power.
To speed is human; to get caught, de fine.
To steal this tagline press <CTL> <ALT> <DEL> now.
To the blond:Hurry, dial 911! Blond:OK,what's the number?
To the British, George Washington was a terrorist.
To the Caliph I am dirt, but to dirt, I am Caliph.
To the old cat, the tender mouse.
To those who can see, a picture is a wordless poem.
To tolerate everything is to teach nothing.
To understand other's miseries, look at their pleasures.
To wake a tiger, use a long stick.
To whom should I go to for some self-help?
To whom the gods destroy, they first teach Windows...
Today has been a long year.
Today I have grown taller from walking with the trees.
Today is a "Honey do day"  Honey do this, honey do that..
Today is a day for firm decisions .....  Or is it?
Today is not your lucky day. You won't have one this year
Today is the day to bribe a high-ranking public official.
Today is the first day after yesterday.
Today is the first day of the rest of your mess.
Today is the scene of the accident.
Today on the menu we feature: pi of the day.
Today we're talking about Wimpy Vedeks and the Women Who Love Them.
Today's "politically correct" = yesterday's McCarthyism.
Today's special:  Misspelt words at no extra charge.
Today, take an astronaut to launch.
Toil is most pleasant when done.
TomDOS 4.0- (G)rin, (O)ffer a jellybaby, (T)rip on scarf
TomDOS 4.01: Floppy hat support added
Tonight's forecast: dark, followed by light.
Tonight's the night:  Sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
Tonight, no hostages for you and no prisoners for me.
Too late, Peri. Time to say goodbye.-- The Doctor
Too many of your enemies would delight in your death, Doctor. -Turlough.
Too many pages make a tome.
Too many pieces of music end too long after the end.
Too many pray for peace with their fists clenched.
Too many wild asses are not yet extinct.
Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
Too often justice is incidental to law and order.
Too stupid to know what I'm involved in.
Took an hour to bury the cat. Damned thing kept moving.
Totally non-offensive tagline.  G-rated.
Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more.
Tourists: The only foreigners the French ever drove out.
TOWER: "Say position."  PILOT: "Position."
Trackman(men) have bigger balls.
Tradition is always the last refuge for the incompetent.
Tradition is no excuse for insensitivity or racism.
Transistors blow before a protecting fast acting fuse.
Travel important today;  IRS men arrive tomorrow.
Treat earth as you should have your Mother. It is.
Treaties like roses and girls - they last while they last
Trees moving back and forth are what make the wind blow.
Trekkers work out in the 'He's Dead Gym'.
Tried to play my shoehorn... all I got was footnotes!
Trooper Worf says 'Drive warp 5 and stay alive'.
TroughtonDOS 2.0:  "When I say RUN, RUN!"
True dignity: Remaining aloof during a prostate exam.
True life begins when the kids leave home and he dog dies
True terror: A female Klingon with PMS.
Truncated:  What happened to the peanut at the zoo
Trust God, but always tie and watch your camel all night.
Trust me, would I lie to you..... again?
Trust only those who would lose as you if things go wrong
Trust your neighbors, but brand your cattle.
Truth is shorter than fiction.
Try cooling coffee by holding it closer to your heart.
Try the new TARDIS hard drive:  Bigger inside than out!
Try to divide your time evenly to keep others happy.
Try to get rid of junk mail, but income tax forms arrive.
TSR: Trash System Randomly
TSRs are the instruments of Cthulhu.
Tumor: A request for an extra pair.
Turlough speaks the truth, Doctor. --Kamelion, "Caves of Androzani."
Turn your 486/50 into an XT - Run Windows 3.0.
TV advertising is the rattling inside a swill bucket.
TV is a medium; anything well done is rare.
Tweedledum and Tweedledee agreed to have a battle.
Twenty-four hour banking: I just don't have time for it.
Twinkies have a half-life, but Velveeta is eternal.
Two is company, three is an orgy.
Two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen & Stupidity.
Two most common elements: Hydrogen and Stupidity
Two of perfect virtue: one dead, the other yet unborn.
Two writes don't make a novel.
Two wrongs do not make a right, it takes three or more.
Type ATDT 911 for more Help.
Typical humans, you can always count on them to mess things up.
Typos? Blame my cat.
U2 will become one with the Borg.  We like Bono.
UART?.. Me Science?
UFO's are for real: the Air Force doesn't exist.
Uh, forget the rope Luke... I thank he's already dead.
Uh-Oh... This is gonna hurt. -Cole Trickle
Unable to find coffee, operator halted.
Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Halted!
Undetectable errors are always infinite in variety.
UNIX are lousy lovers.
UNIX is the OS of the future and always will be...
UNIX, the MF of all DOS's.
Unless to thought is added will, Apollo is an imbecile.
Unrecoverable Application Error - Detonation follows.
Unregistered Evaluation Tagline
Unspeakable error in module Cthulhu at address R'lyeh.
Until Eve arrived, this was a man's world.
UPGRADE to ColinDOS 6.0: We guarantee it'll feel different this time...
Urine: Baseball term: Opposite of "Your out."
USA - at times is seems to be a subsidiary of Japan, Inc.
USAir = (U)nderwater (S)eating (A)vailable (I)n (R)ear.
Use Colgate toothpaste or end up with teeth like a Ferengi.
Use DEVICE=EXXON to screw up your environment.
Use it up.  Wear it out.  Make it do. Or do without.
Use Saddam Condoms, for those who always pull out late.
Use the Force, Luke, Don't give in to the DOS side.- ObiWan Kenobi
Use your own tagline, this one belongs to someone else.
Use your own tagline, this one's MINE!!
Use your wit to amuse, not abuse nor confuse the stupid.
Used Car: Not what it is jacked up to be.
USER ERROR: Please replace user and hit enter to continue
User Error: Replace user, hit any key to continue.
User Friendly, if you don't use it - its friendly.
User Friendly: Never having to say "I read the manual."
User-supported tagline. To register send $49.95 to...
Users: Keep them dry and don't feed them after midnight.
Users: To keep them dry don't water them after dinner.
Usually insane; in lucid moments merely stupid.
ValeyarDOS 0.5: (A)bort (R)ant (P)opplewick
Valuable things are not cheap.
Varicose veins: Veins that are very close together.
Velcro, super glue, duct tape, post-its, and OS/2.
Veni, Vidi, Visa - I came, I saw, I shopped.
Veni, Vidi, VISA.
Very few jobs actually require a penis or vagina.
Very good! We'll have to give you a badge of Mathematical Excellence!
Victor Bariel Has a Wimpy Smile! --FAB alternate slogan
Virgin: a tagline that has not been stolen.
Virtual reality is a contradiction.
Virtual: not knowing where your next byte is coming from.
Virtue is easy for an ugly woman.
Virtue is it's own punishment.
Virus "WIN.COM" found.  Remove? (Y/n):
Virus detected, delete Windows? (Y/n).
VirusScan - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/y)"
Vodka + milk of magnesia: Philips screwdriver
Void where prohibited.
Vote --> "Deport all of the above" in `92.
Vote anarchist.
Vote for abolishment of public display of butt-cracks.
Vote your conscience, if your a Republican use Mine!
Vulgarity: The conduct of others.
W A R N I N G!! Taglines are V E R Y addictive!!
W)here Y)our S)tupid I)nterface W)eathers Y)our G)enius.
Wait a minute my PANTS ARE ON FIRE! SHISSSSS  Ah that feels better
Wait.  That's the FORBIDDEN dance.
Waiter, I'll have what the guy writhing on the floor had.
Waiting to overcome all objections, results in nothing.
Wakko packs away the snacks, while Bill Clinton plays the sax...
Walk through doors, don't crawl through Windows.
Wanna Be a Psychopath? Read Dianetics, or ZMODEM.DOC.
Want to see a quieter way of life?  Visit Forest Lawn.
Wanted: Good taglines to steal...
War on Puberty: New program to eliminate teenage crime.
Ware-o-ware has my OS/2 gone?
Warning - This message may be harmful to your ego.
WARNING!  No user serviceable characters in this tagline.
WARNING!  Removal of this tagline prohibited by law!
WARNING!  This Tagline is guarded by a killer dog..
WARNING! I Steal Taglines! (This one for example)
Warning! Incomprehensible action is about to occur.
Warning! Incomprehensible source follows.
Warning, do not download SAFESEX.ZIP it is a trojan.
WARNING... drinking tap water may kill your thirst.
Warning: All prosecutors will be violated.
Warning: Do not reuse tagline. Discard safely after use.
Was General George Custer an aficionado of arrow shirts?
Was Jimi Hendrix's Modem A Purple Hayes?
Waste is a terrible thing to mind.
Wasting time is an important part of living.
Watch it Buster - You're trying my infinite patience.
Watch out..the paranoids are after you.
Water in the West runs uphill toward money.
Water taken in moderation, cannot do very much harm.
Water, in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
We all live in a yellow subroutine.
We are all related...relatively speaking.
We are all travelers, from our birth until our death.
We are as made by God, and often a great deal worse.
We are Dalek of Borg. Davros is irrelevant.
We are Daleks of Borg. ASSIMILATE! ASSI-MIL-ATE!!!!!!!
We are going to have peace even at the price of war.
We are immortal, but only for a very limited time.
We are in bondage to the law so that we may be free.
We are NOT lost! I know EXACTLY where we are! Where are we? We're lost.
We are sorry, the number you reached is not in service.
We are the fans who say "Ick!" Another official slogan for VBSP/FAB
We are the most intelligent planet on earth" - Dan Quayle
We are the people our parents warned us about.
We are what we pretend to be.
We ask advice but we mean approbation.
We don't care, we don't have to, we're the phone
We fish ewe mare egrets moose panda hippo gnu deer
We have met the enemy, and he's all yours.
We have resumed control...we have resumed control...
We have standards and expect you not to exceed them.
We have two ears and one tongue, use them likewise.
We hired you to baby sit. You cooked and ate them both?
We interupt the News to show an episode of Animaniacs!
We look for taglines. Taglines that make us go.
We love Deep Space Nine: It's not TNG, but it's fun to see!
We make our own fortunes and call them our fate.
We may be lost, but we're sure making good time.
We most firmly believe what we least know.
We must believe in free will.  We have no choice.
We must laugh at man, to avoid crying for him.
We need more unemployed politicians.
We NEVER grow up, we just get older, and older.
We now return to our regularly scheduled flame-throwing.
We now return you to... The Thread That Would Not Die.
We read to say that we have read.
We secretly replaced the dilithium with Folgers Crystals
We tend to forget that our birthplace was never an Eden.
We the court find MS Windows guilty of speeding... Yeah right!
We walk on like an elephant and back off like a giraffe.
We will find no ancestor before his time.
We will post no filk until it's time.
We'd love to but the FOX censors wouldn't let us. - Yakko W.
We're all different, but then again we're all the same.
We're all in this alone.
We're beating the bushes in search of a president.
We're born free and taxed to death.
We're Buster and Babs Bunny of Borg. No assimilation.
We're looking for a few good men.
We're lost, but we're making good time.
We're off to fight the Daleks, wherever the things can be found!
We're off to see the wizard, he's sure to have an answer.
We've replaced the Dilithium with Foldgers crystals
We've replaced the Dilithium with new Folger's Crystals.
Wear old clothes when you fight for truth and liberty.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
Wedding: A funeral where you smell your own flowers.
Welcome aboard, I'm the Doctor, or will be if this regeneration works.
Welcome to California.  Now please go home.
Welcome to the SICK and DEMENTED taglines conference.
Well begun is half done.
Well this is tagline 1, and we're havin' lots of fun.
Well this is tagline 10 and I'm posting them all again...
Well this is tagline 2 let me show you what to do...
Well this is tagline 3, and you're stealing it from me...
Well this is tagline 4, and I'm gonna steal some more...
Well this is tagline 5, and the echo's going live...
Well this is tagline 6, and the OLR is fixed...
Well this is tagline 7, stealin' tags is simply heaven...
Well this is tagline 8, but you're gonna have to wait...
Well this is tagline 9 and it's lookin mighty fine...
Well, it's either Romana or Fred. OK, call me Fred. Very good Romana.
Well, scratch one *more* NCC number off the active list....
Wernher von Braun settled for a V-2 instead of a V-8.
Wesley Crusher and Adric of Alzarius: Separated at birth?
Whaddaya get if U cross an elephant & a rhino?  Elephino!
Whales are a lot like humans.  Only they mate for life.
What a day may bring, a day may take away.
What a wonderful use for dead space....TAGLINES!
What a wonderful world it is that has girls in it.
What can you compare the universe with?
What CAN you get a nudist for Christmas?
What comes around goes around.
What do you mean that I need a license to do that?
What do you mean that my urine sample is too small?
What do you mean they are ONLY taglines?
What do you mean? You actually read this Tagline?!?
What does the "Paper Out" Light mean on my printer?
What doesn't destroy me makes me stronger.
What fools these morals be!
What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
What good does it do an ass to be called a lion?
What grammar is to speech, logic is to reason.
What hallucinations?
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
What if they gave a war and only one side came?
What if we put bandaid on the Panama Canal and it healed?
What is a lie but the truth in drag?
What is learned in youth is understood in age.
What is the world to a man when his wife is a widow?
What is this thing anyway? The Discordian Society?
What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
What kind of cars do Proctologists drive?  Ford Probes.
What light speed?  I can even surpass dark speed.
What orators lack in depth, they give in length.
What results from using spot remover on your dog Spot?
What sacrifice, at what price can the tagline be born?
What Saddam Hussein's mom said: Abort, Retry, Fail?
What should you give a nudist for Christmas?
What soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals.
What the !@#$ were you expecting for me to put here?
What the heck just happened here?
What the hell, go and put all your eggs in one basket.
What the text giveth, the footnote taketh away.
What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
What time is it at the North Pole?
What use is magic if it can't save a unicorn?
What we have here is a failure to communicate.
What we need are 0-wait-state shopping lines....
What were you this time, Odo? The modem? The computer?... The tagline!
What will we do today? What WON'T we do today! --QSquared
What would *YOU* do for a Klondike Bar?
What you want, must, and need to do are seldom congruent.
What youth deemed crystal, age finds was dew.
What's all this fuss about endangered feces?
What's another word for "Thesaurs"?
What's in a name, anyway? Everything and nothing.
What's in a Tagline?
What's the matter Colonel Sanders.......CHICKEN?
What's the point-spread on World War III?
What's the world coming to when your monitor stares back.
What's up doc?
What, me ambivalent?  Well, yes and no.
Whatever advice you give, be brief.
Whatever is well conceived can be well expressed.
Whatever it is, whenever it occurs, I'm against it.
Whatever you delete today, you desperately need tomorrow.
Whatever you have, spend less.
Whatsa matter Colonel Sanders.......CHICKEN?
Wheel of Randomity, turn, turn, turn. Tell us the taglines Sandro Mancini?
When a cow laughs, does milk come out its nose?
When a subject becomes obsolete, it becomes required.
When agnostics die, do they go to the Great Perhaps?
When all else fails, consult Jack Daniels.
When all else fails, dig out the dusty user's manual.
When all else fails, I STILL refuse to read the docs.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
When all else is lost, the future still remains.
When all think alike, then no one is thinking.
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults.
When choosing between two evils, select the newer one.
When CPR fails, does the doctor order "Barium?"
When dangling, watch your participles.
When down in the mouth, think of Jonah, he came out OK.
When everyone thinks alike, then everyone is stupid.
When everything comes your way, you're in the wrong lane.
When facts meet the legend, go with the legend.
When God made man, She was joking.
When I want your opinion, I'll read your entrails.
When I'm off-topic, feeling the Orb, many posts from now...
When in charge, ponder.
When in Chicago you must vote early and vote often.
When in doubt stop thinking and all doubt will go away.
When in doubt, make a backup.
When in doubt, make it sound convincing.
When in doubt, mumble..
When in doubt, use brute force.
When in doubt; Cheat.
When in trouble, delegate.
When is the last time the Haggis Fairy visited you?
When Marriage is Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Inlaws.
When no wind blows, even the weather vane has character.
When puns are outlawed only outlaws will have puns
When seeking love give nothing.  Finding love give all.
When someone turns things around, don't get run over.
When the bad combine, the good must associate.
When the eagles are silent the parrots begin to jabber.
When the going gets tough, the smart get lost.
When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
When the ship lifts, all debts are paid. --RAH
When things go wrong, don't go with them.
When things go wrong, just don't go with them.
When uncertain, or in doubt, run in circles and scream.
When we are not sure, we are alive.
When we can't dream the time for death has arrived.
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
When you castrate a "Q", do you get an "O?"
When you deal with the insane, always pretend you're sane
When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.
When you do nothing, can you know when you're finished?
When you find anything that works, it usually fails.
When you get there, there's no there there.
When you go to the market, use your eyes, not your ears.
When you gotta go, you gotta go!
When you see a snake, never mind where he came from.
When you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
When you try too hard to save face, you lose your ass.
When you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
Whenever possible, put people on hold.
Where are those flashbacks they promised me?
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Where are we going? Why am I in this handbasket?
Where can I find a synonym, for "thesaurus?"
Where can I fnid a spell chequer for taglines?
Where citizens count, subjects are slaves.
Where did we all come from in the first place?
Where do 'cannot' and 'must' meet on this graph?
Where do honey bees go potty?  At a BP station naturally.
Where do these stairs go? ---  "They go up."
Where do you find the time to not read so many books?
Where do you go to catch anorexia?
Where does he get those marvelous taglines?
Where is everything? All I typed was "Format c:".
Where is the STUN setting on a Laser Printer?
Where law ends, there tyranny begins.
Where men are outlawed, only outlaws are men.
Where no feline has gone before...
Where no man has.. where no ONE has.. to hell with it.
Where there is a stink feces there is the odor of being.
Where there is a will, I want to be in it.
Where there is no shame, there is no honor.
Where there's a will, there's an Inheritance Tax.
Where you've been means much less than where you're going
Where's there's smoke, there's toast.
Wherever you came from, you're not there now.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Which do I miss more Taglines or headaches???
While eating an elephant advance one bite at a time.
Whip me!  Beat me!  Make me run Windows on an XT!
Whip me, beat me, crush me, is this wrestling or what?
White belt + white shoes  = a "full Cleveland."
Who am I to come between a man and his rock?-- Devil's Heart.
Who are you? "The new num- ahem. The new Doctor Who." Leo McKern.
Who has the bread makes the laws.
Who is #1? --Prisoner  I am! Who wants to know? -- Riker
Who is the Grateful Dead, and why do they follow me?
Who needs comedians?  Journalists are much more laughable
Who needs rational when your toes curl up?
Who says you can't have it all?
Who to himself is law, no law doth need.
Who will buy my wonderful taglines? All quite new, just stolen today!
Who would understand youth must know old age.
Who's the designated driver? This mouse is loaded.
Who's the Round Table's roundest knight?  Sir Cumference.
Whoever decided to cut Taglines at 57 characters, kiss my
Whoever shoots the moderator gets the job...
Whose laser thru yonder saucer section cuts?'Tis the Borg.
Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.
Why are love and relationships so confusing?
Why are there so many fools on the road?
Why are there so many gnarly limbs on my family tree?
Why are you wasting your time reading taglines?
Why attack God?  He may be as sad about us as we are.
Why Bother With Taglines?
Why call them "apartments" if they're all together?
Why can't women remember to put the seat back up?
Why can't you be a non-conformist like everyone else?
Why did CNN cancel that cool "Desert Storm" show?
Why did I ever start this, anyway?
Why do I always shrug my shoulders?  I have no idea.
Why do kamakazi pilots where helmets?
Why do Kennedy's cry after sex? ..... Mace!
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
Why do they call them briefings when they take so long?
Why do we get so old before we learn how to be young?
Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the parkway?
Why do we seem to operate best at a 90^ angle to reality?
Why do you read taglines?
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
Why don't cats like to swim?  Why don't many fish fly?
Why don't many cats swim?  Why don't many fish fly?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is bread so dear and flesh and blood so cheap?
Why is it called Bluewave when it makes me so HAPPY?
Why is it that if you leave the room, you're elected?
Why is it that the best taglines are always too long to
Why is it that the best taglines are too lon
Why is it that there are never enough days in a weekend?
Why is nothing is quite so unexpected as the truth?
Why is the alphabet in that order, because of the song?
Why is there a permanent press setting on an iron?
Why isn't phonetically spelled that way?
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
Why should I have to pay a troll just to cross a bridge?
Why solve problems you can bypass with a GOTO?
Why use a big, long word when a diminutive one will do?
Why waste time learning, ignorance comes with the turf?
Why would a wood chuck want to chuck wood anyway?
Wie geht's dir heute?
Wild asses are not yet extinct.
Will people in the CIS be known as sissies?
Will Rogers never met Saddam Hussein.
Will your great-grandchildren know you existed and how?
William Hartnell: 1907-1975-- Shaka, when the walls fell.
Window-screen: An arrangement for keeping flies in.
Windows 3.0 - From the people who brought you EDLIN.
Windows 3.0 - The best $89 solitaire game you can buy.
Windows also multitasks.....  NOT!!!!
Windows Error #56:  Operator fell asleep while waiting.
Windows Error: 004 -- Operator fell asleep while waiting.
Windows is a colorful clown suit for DOS.
Windows is a disease - but is OS/2 v2.0 the cure?
Windows is a real pane ;{
Windows isn't a virus -- viruses do something!
Windows isn't a virus; a virus does something.
Windows isn't CrippleWare -- it's "Functionally Challenged".
Windows NT is the OS of the future and always will be...
Windows NT. Nice Try or Not There?
Windows would be better with curtains.
Windows, icons, mouse and pointer = WIMP.
Windows, Just Say No.
Windows: An answer to a question nobody has ever asked.
Windows: From the people who brought you EDLIN!
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
Windows? !Por Favor, No Rompa Mis Cojones! Gracias!
Winning is a habit.  Unfortunately, so is losing.
Winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is.
Winter in Arizona falls on a Tuesday this year.
WINTER is Nature's way of saying, "Up Yours!"
Wisdom of many and the wit of a half.
Wise men in love act the fool.
Wise men learn much from fools.  Wise guys don't.
Wit is the spice of conversation, not the food.
Witches who misbehave are sent to their broom.
With a good tagline file, who needs messages?
With clothes the new are best, with friends the old.
With consequences,  the unexpected always predominate.
With foxes we must play the fox.
With fronds like you, who needs anemones?
With our judgements as our watches, none go just alike.
With people, reach should exceed grasp. Try for heaven.
With sin, a human falls into it, a saint grieves at it.
With some foreign food the less authentic, the better.
With some it isn't the thought, it's the gift behind it.
With two ways to spell a word, the wrong one will be used
Without creation there could be no destruction.
Without death, life has no meaning.
Without fingers you cannot even thumb your nose.
Without fools there would be no wisdom.
Without love and trust all you can be in life is alone.
Without my ignorance, your knowledge would be meaningless
Without Time Everything Would Happen At Once!
Witty tag line placed here. -->
Women and elephants never forget real or supposed injury.
Women do come with instructions, ask them!
Women go on diets. Men just eat less... and grow fat.
Women take to good hearted men. Also from.
Women's clothes: Go to extremes, seldom to extremities.
Women, children, and tagline writers first!
Wonderful chap, The Doctor.  All of them. - Brig. L. Stewart
Words and ideas are what change our world.
Words are not food, though sometimes we must eat them.
Words are the voice of the heart.
Words DO NOT have meanings, people do.
Words must be weighed, not counted.
Words, words, words.  And no place to put them all.
Work is for those who have nothing better to do.
Work is the curse of the partying class!
World peace will only come when patriotism is forgotten.
World to end at 5:00pm. See it on the 11:00pm news.
World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
Worry is the interest paid on trouble in advance.
Worth seeing?  Yes, but not worth going to see.
Would Dax and Odan fighting be a "slug-fest"?
would have suffered a lot more if I'd been understood.
Would she be happy with a Pet Rock instead?
Would you like to String up Bariel? VBSP/FAB theme song
Wow!!! A whole 360K on one disk!
Wreck the malls with cows on Harleys ...
Wrong information mumbled courtesy of Mark "next slide please" Altman
wwhhaatt  ddooeess  ffuull  dduupplleexx  mmeeaann??
WWhhaatt ddooeess HHAALLFF DDUUPPLLEEXX mmeeaann??
WYMI - the all-philosophy radio station
W[h]ere know tagline as gone before....
X minus 6 weeks and counting.
Xerox never comes up with anything original anymore.
Xpress yourself.
Yawn: The only time some men get to open their mouths.
Yea, yea..once a hobby, now an expensive addiction.
Yeah, but what's the speed of DARK?
Yeah...and some day the sun will die out.
Year: A period of 365 failures and disappointments.
Yes Dear, just a few more minutes....
Yes my son, long ago mail was read 1 packet at a time.
Yes, I admit, *I* steal Taglines !
Yes-men: Fellows who hang around the man nobody noes.
Yesterday I saw a man with a wooden leg, and a real foot.
Yield to temptation; It may not pass your way again.
Yoda of Borg am I. Assimilate you I will! hummm...
Yoshi-- Wellington boots and an appetite!
You always find it in the last place you look.
You always swat where he's not, or if he is aha! a spot.
You are always entitled to your own stupid opinion.
You are an example of why some animals eat their young.
You are in a maze of twisty little Taglines, all alike.
You are in a maze of twisty little Taglines, all berserk.
You are magnetic in your bearing.
You are no longer a Time Lord of the first rank, Morbius!
You are only young once, but it is easy to stay immature.
You are the only person who can see this tagline.
You aren't born happy, you must make it for yourself.
You aren't here forever, enjoy each day as a miracle.
You can always easily find anything you don't want.
You can always make room for one more. Except a new baby.
You can choose your friends, but you only have one mother
You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories.
You can fool all people, except but you can't fool Mom.
You can judge a man by how he keeps his golf score.
You can judge the success of a man by his bodyguards.
You can multi-task on C-64s... keep a multitude of them.
You can never stand still nor go backwards in time.
You can observe a lot by watching.
You can only be truly free if everyone else is truly free
you can pretend to be serious, but not witty.
You can teach an old dog new tricks, under protest.
You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.
You can write until sated, but no one must read it.
You can't do that. It's been digitally cursed.
You can't eat your friends and have them too.
You can't fall off the floor.
You can't fool me, that's DIRTY DANCING, I see.
You can't get there from here.
You can't have everything.  Where would you put it?
You can't have too many taglines, only too much blank space.
You can't judge a book by the way it wears its hair.
You can't judge Egypt by Aida.
You can't jump a canyon in two leaps.
You can't step twice into the same river.
You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit.
You cannot be too careful in the choice of your enemies.
You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
You disagree?  May I plea guilty by reason of sanity?
You don't have to think too hard when talking to teachers
You don't know it, but this is a subliminal tagline......
You got any more taglines I can plagiarize ?
You got to start somewhere if you're going end elsewhere.
You got to stop screwing around, daddy.
You have been selected for a secret mission.
You have to be an antique to appreciate them.
You Klingon son, you killed my bastard!  Got that wrong.
You know I hooked up my modem to a board with no name...
You know you're hooked when: you log on right at midnight after reset
You know you're really old when stop buying green bananas
You know you're there, when they steal your taglines.
You learn as much by writing as you do by reading.
You live and you learn - or you don't live long.
You make it we take it.
You make me want to break the laws of time and space...
You may be a loser for a long time before you realize it.
You may be recognized soon.  Perhaps you should hide?
You may be Southern -- but you're no Comfort.
You may say I'm off-topic, but I'm not the only one.
You may use this tagline 30 days before registering.
You mean everything above the tagline ISN'T line noise?
You might say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not asleep.
You might want to get a band-aid for that.
You must know much before you know how little you know.
You must know your limits to break through them.
You must realize:  Sweatwork is the only road to fitness.
You need the MANUALS to use this tagline!
You need to relax, Dax. Take a chill pill, trill!
You never have to explain things you never said.
You never know unless you ask, answer not guaranteed.
You obviously mistook me for someone who knows.
You realize how short a month when you pay alimony.
You spotted snakes with double tongue... be not seen.
You summoned me, Captain? asked T. Earl Grey, hotly.
You tell 'em Bald Head, you're smooth.
You tell 'em Banana, you've been skinned.
You tell 'em Bank, you're safe.
You tell 'em Bean, He's stringing you.
You tell 'em Brake, you've got the drag.
You tell 'em Butcher, you've got a lot of tongue.
You tell 'em Cabbage, you've got the head.
You tell 'em Calendar, you've got lots of dates.
You tell 'em Cashier, I'm a poor teller.
You tell 'em Cat, That's what you're fur.
You tell 'em Cemetery, you are so grave.
You tell 'em Chloroform, you can put them to sleep.
You tell 'em Church Bell, I told you.
You tell 'em Cigarette, you're lit up.
You tell 'em Clock, you've got the time.
You tell 'em Cucumber, I've been pickled.
You tell 'em Custard Pie, you've got the crust.
You tell 'em Dentist, you've got the pull.
You tell 'em Dictionary, you're full of information.
You tell 'em Doctor, you've got the patience.
You tell 'em Dough, you're well bred.
You tell 'em Electricity, you can shock 'em.
You tell 'em Envelope, you're well posted.
You tell 'em Gambler, you've got winning ways.
You tell 'em Goldfish, you've been around the globe.
You tell 'em Hard-Boiled Egg, you're hard to beat.
You tell 'em Horse, you carry a tale.
You tell 'em Hunter, I'm a duck.
You tell 'em Hunter, I'm game.
You tell 'em June, And don't July.
You tell 'em Manicurist, I've been trimmed.
You tell 'em Moon, you're out all night.
You tell 'em Mountain, I'm only a bluff.
You tell 'em Operator, you've got their number.
You tell 'em Piano, you're upright and square.
You tell 'em Playing Cards, you know the joker.
You tell 'em Printer, I'm not your type.
You tell 'em Railroad, It's not along my line.
You tell 'em September Morn, no one has anything on you.
You tell 'em Shoemaker, you know awl.
You tell 'em Simon, I'll Legree.
You tell 'em Skyscraper, you have more than one story.
You tell 'em Submarine, I can't seaplane.
You tell 'em Teacher, you've got the class.
You think you have troubles?  Even my sundial is slow.
You will be a winner today. Fight with a four-year-old.
You will need the MANUALS to use this tagline!
You win some and you lose some. But think qualitatively.
You'll always overlook one of those pins in a new shirt.
You'll never find it, in all that loose clothing.
You'll never know until you ask the right source.
You're being followed, cut out hanky-panky for a few days
You're God?  yeah right, let me speak to your mother!
You're listening to KPLA, Klingon radio: All glory, all the time!
You're needed; you mustn't die!-- Nyssa
You're Never Alone With Schizophrenia.
You're really hard up if you steal *this* tagline.
You've been leading a dog's life. Stay off the furniture.
Young gorillas are friendly, but they soon learn.
Youngsters remember anything if it happened or not.
Your best response: Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum.
Your call will be answered in the order it was ignored.
Your code is theoretically beautiful, but it won't work.
Your future, with the Maker or the Baker is up to you.
Your karma just ran over my dogma.
Your lucky color is fading.
Your mileage may vary.
Your neat tagline was just stolen by SLMR20 - Thanks!
Your sin, was it of omission, commission, or emission?
Your solution stinks. The problem is very interesting.
Your sweet words suck a morning dew off the honeysuckle.
Your tagline delivered in thirty minutes or it's free.
Your tagline hunting license has expired. Lose 2 packets
Your trouble is that your absence makes good company.
Your Yin and Yang are no longer on speaking terms.
Yours till the modem melts.
Youth + confidence + myopia = naivete.
Youth isn't a time of life, but a state of mind.
Youth, a habit of hers so long she couldn't part with it.
Youthful figure: What you get when asking a woman's age.
Zippy the pinhead is a twit.
ZMODEM has bigger bits, softer blocks, and tighter ASCII.
[ dated drug humor tagline deleted ]
[... tagline deleted for brevity ...]
[... text deleted for brevity ...]
[A]bort, [R]etry, [U]se the Force
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\TAGLINE////////////////////////
__________/oo\__________  What?  No Taglines?  TOO BAD!
____________/oo\___________ What, No Taglines!?!?!
`[0;1;5;32;44mMy tagline is on the blink again!`[0m
{�������������� Tagline anchored to message ������������}
�o-�-Theft Proof Tagline <hehe>
���.���.���.���.���.� Tagline bees! Quick Mom, the Raid!
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. Prov 25:11
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10
Be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life. Rev 2:10
Bear ye one another's burdens.  Galatians 6:2
Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world. John 1:29
Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved. Acts 16:31
Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. 1 John 4:11
Blessed are the pure in heart;  for they shall see God. Matthew 5:8*
Blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed. John 20:29*
For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21
For with God nothing shall be impossible. Luke 1:37
God is our refuge and strength; a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1
He healeth the broken heart and bindeth up their wounds.  Psalm 147:3
He that is of God heareth God's words. John 8:47*
He that loveth not, knoweth not God; for God is love. 1 John 4:8
Hear, O Israel;  The Lord our God is one Lord. Deuteronomy 6:4
I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.  Prov 3:6
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. Genesis 1:1
Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever. -Hebrews 13:8
Let all things be done decently and in order.  1 Corinthians 14:40
Let brotherly love continue.  Hebrews 13:1
Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom. Colossians 3:16
Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering. Hebrews 10:23
My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest. Exodus 33:14
No man can say that Jesus is the Lord, but by the Holy Ghost. 1 Cor 12:3
O Lord our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth! Psalm 8:1
O Lord, our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth! Psalm 8:9
One is your master, even Christ; and all ye are brethren.  Matthew 23:8*
Our God is in the heavens;he hath done whatsoever he hath pleased.Psalm 115:3
Preserve me, O God;  for in thee do I put my trust. Psalm 16:1
Rejoice in the Lord always; and again I say rejoice.  Philippians 4:4
Remember me, O my God, for good.  Nehemiah 13:31
So then faith cometh by hearing,and hearing by the word of God. Romans 10:17
The just shall live by his faith. Habakkuk 2:4
The Lord bless thee, and keep thee.  Numbers 6:24
There is no peace, saith the Lord, unto the wicked.  Isaiah 48:22
Thou shalt have no other gods before me.  Exodus 20:3
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.  Psalm 119:105
Walk in the Spirit,and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.Gal 5:16
When I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me. Micah 7:8
Who can say, I have made my heart clean,I am pure from my sin? Proverbs 20:9
Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. Romans 10:13
Why seek ye the living among the dead? He is not here,but is risen.Luke 24:5
Ye cannot serve God and mammon. Matthew 6:24*
3 out of 4 women will be victims of a violent crime once in her life.
A homely woman hates mirrors.
A really plain woman is one who however beautiful, neglects to charm.
A woman can be happy with any man as long as she doesn't love him.
A woman is a person who reaches for a chair when the phone rings.
A woman is only as young as the man she feels!
A woman is raped every 6 minutes and every 18 seconds a woman is beaten.
A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty.
A woman's life is a history of affections.
A woman's place is in the home - usually next to the telephone.
Aggressive woman: One who speaks her mind and doesn't act like a bimbo.
Ahhhh, I really like men.  Every woman should own one.
Anatomy is something everyone has, but looks better on a woman.
Beauty is the 1st gift nature gives to women and the 1st it takes away.
Behind every good BBS, is a good woman.
Behind every good woman, there is a great behind.
Behind every SATISFIED man, there's an EXHAUSTED woman!
Behind every successful man is a woman who wants a fur coat.
Behind every successful man is an exhausted woman.
Behind every successful woman - herself.
Beware the fury of a patient woman.
Cinderella Complex: Women who yearn to be taken care of.
Clothes aren't sexy, women are.
Computers are like women. Both are into commands!
Don't tell a woman she's pretty, tell her there's no one like her.
Even if you understood women - you'd never believe it!
Every women needs 3 men: 1 for sex, 1 for money, and 1 for fun.
Exceptional times require exceptional women.
FEMINISM: The radical notion that women are people.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
God made man first, but made Woman after he did some improvements.
Good... Evil... I'm the woman with the gun!
Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
I bet your mother was the first woman to wear black after a birth.
I'm a W.E.N.C.H. <- Woman Entitled to Nights of Complete Happiness!
If you don't think women are explosive, drop one!
In private, women are much more perverted than men.
It takes two to tango, but only the woman pays the price.
MAN (n): An abbreviation of woman.
Man has his will - but woman has her way.
Men are the reason why women hate one another.
Men give love to get sex. Women give sex to get love.
Men of quality respect women's equality.
Men play the game; women know the score.
MYTH: When a wedding ring is placed on a woman, her brain stops.
NAVIGATOR: Woman on a trip in the car, with a road map in her lap.
Never argue with a woman when she's tired...or rested.
Never try to outwit a woman, unless you are one.
No woman has ever shot a man while he's doing the dishes.
Not all women are fools - some are single.
Nothing confuses a man like a woman driver who does everything right.        
Nothing makes an ugly woman beautiful, except a BLIND date.
Nurses - Women so homely they have to go to the hospital.
On one issue, men and women agree: They both distrust women.
Opposition of abortion seems really to be about the control of women.
Real women don't deflate when you bite them!
Rush Limbaugh said, concern for women is a setback for America.
Sexy women are nature's way of saying - Keep it up!
Single women know more about men; if they didn't, they'd be married.
Some woman can talk their way outta anything, except a telephone booth.
The better a woman looks, the longer a man does.
The better a woman looks, the longer I look!
The hair is the richest ornament of a woman.
The sweetest of all sounds is the voice of a woman in love.
The trouble with women is their trouble with men.
The woman cries before the wedding; the man, afterwards.
There is nothing more erotic or sexy, than a women who knows she is.
Thieves demand your money or your life...women want both!
To women, men are like big dogs that talk.
Well, I guess you don't know women very well, do you?
When asked how many husbands I've had, I said, "Mine or other women's?"
Wild Women Don't Get The Blues!
Women are the nicest things that happened to the world.
Women do to come with instructions; just ask one.
Women don't make fools out of a men. We only direct the performance.
Women dress alike all over the world; they dress to annoy other women.
Women have two viewpoints...there's and all other women's.
Women may not hit harder, but we may hit lower.
Women who think they are equal to men lack ambition.
Women, n., pl.: wild, ovulating, man-eating nymphomaniacs.
Women: When they stick together, you can't pry 'em apart...